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Weekend Humor: Obamacare's "Success" In Context

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Presented with no comment...

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

Source: Compete.com and Mars One Foundation

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Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:50 | 4071802 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Isn't Obamacare a One Way Trip to Hell?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:09 | 4071835 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

They will attribute the low enrollment figures to a mental illness epidemic.

The litmus test for mental illness will be not having enrolled in Obamacare.

Then they will force those who are 'mentally ill' to enroll in O'care or be institutionalized.

Then you will see the enrollment figures increase.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:12 | 4071845 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

It's Bush's fault.  

Seriously though, in a country of perpetually drugged and stupefied people, is it any wonder they can't get it to work right? 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:19 | 4071863 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, Bush was responsible for the Prescription Drug Plan, although it did roll out without too many hiccups.

When they voted for that during Bush's tenure I knew it was the precursor to national healthcare. That, and creating HMO's.

Just baby steps.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:41 | 4072012 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

Without 7 million enrolled (including a mix of 2.75 million under age 30)for 2014 this system collapses. (This is per GAO and CBO)In other words old Barry is back to congress to get tens of billions for a bailout or he let's it fail. People have to be enrolled by March 31st. So basically that's March 1, but of course to be on by March 1 you will have to sign up by mid February. Sh*t I went on the system again today and you CAN'T SIGN UP. This things going down the sh*tter.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:14 | 4072230 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Opollo 1

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:38 | 4072268 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Apparently complex systems require some talent to organize and run. Obama is long grand ideas but rather short on talent. 

You can not get this thing to work just because you know Serge and Mark and Bill.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:20 | 4072324 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

You give him a lot of credit for ideas that weren't even his.

 

Hint: look who would profit most from "his ideas".

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:02 | 4072651 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Profound. Full stop.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:07 | 4073138 markmotive
Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:53 | 4073172 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Hopefully by then Ted Cruz will be back with a Posse from Texas.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:32 | 4073061 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

in all fairness, you have to admit he took bush's idea of jailing u.s. citizens without trial to killing them without trial.

standing on the shoulders of giants and all.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:32 | 4073118 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

29.5 hours jobs......and still no health insurance.

 

Thanks Barry!

 

As we whistle on the road to total economic destruction...

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 15:58 | 4073977 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

The funny thing is, their cure for the website incompitence will be to pay them more !

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 06:09 | 4073093 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

ACA was first seriously introduced by Nixon, in fact. It's nearly identical.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:40 | 4073119 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Your grasp of modern history is beyond stunning.....almost like didn't happen.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:40 | 4073155 Hopeful Skeptic
Hopeful Skeptic's picture

This was never meant to work. And when it becomes clear this doesn't work, progressives will make the insurance companies the villians (at fault for the complexity) and thus will begin the push for single payer.

 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:52 | 4111750 playnstocks
playnstocks's picture

"We have to pass the bill to see whats in it" 

In the medical field thats called a stool sample.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:12 | 4073200 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Part D was nothing more than another giveaway to pharma. Funny they can negotiate prices for vets but not the entire population. 3K plans to choose from based on the meds you take. What a convoluted joke.

Don't know where the goose fits in the Turducken, but they've sure cooked it.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:45 | 4071912 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

ackkkkkkkkk...you mean you are declared mentally ill if you dont sign up? surely that means you are home free with lots of benefits for life? why wasn't this pitched this way in the first place, the whole country could sign up for benefits and nobody needs to pay any taxes...that is the path we are on and that works wonderfully hey!!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:33 | 4072255 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

I think you hit the nail on the head. When healthcare is already free to anyone who walks into an emergency room, why on earth would the people who use walk-in healthcare programs volunteer to start paying for it monthly even at the subsidized rates? This is the one thing all the lobbyists and geniuses in the DNC forgot.

Or maybe they didn't, and they have a bigger Machiavellian plan.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 02:30 | 4073023 drunkenlout
drunkenlout's picture

There has never been an explanation of how the taxes, or premiums, or co-pays, or penalties are going to be collected from people who are poor enough to need ACA.  With half of the citizens being non tax-payers, IRS can't collect from them, unless they file liens on real property, or just seize it.  Those who are unemployed can't be garnished.  What about those who enroll, but don't pay, or don't have wages to be seized?  How is this possibly going to happen?

 

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 05:22 | 4073078 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

re: "How is this possibly going to happen?"

That's going to be Ben Berstanke's new gig...

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:24 | 4073233 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Prolly OJT for shotgun weilding IRS jackboots & the new debtors prison industrial complex where corporate gets more free labor. 

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:17 | 4073213 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I'd think twice before an ER visit. I know someone treated for a spider bite only to find out when she went back it would be her last time. It was MRSA. It took her a week to die a horrific death. She left 5 kids without a mother & her new husband a widow with a $2 million hospital bill. Then bankruptcy of course. Just as the whole medical industrial complex was engineered.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:45 | 4071913 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

At least on the trip to Mars I'm exempt from Obamacare,

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:03 | 4072041 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Unless they decide to provide ACA off-planet...then it will be a really big thing and will get zillions to fund from now until infinity and beyond.

Don't give them any ideas...including impossible ones.

They tend to 'operate' and move-out on impossible concepts....just like science fiction.

Its like they saw Star Trek show in the 60's and believe its really possible today.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:12 | 4072411 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Kathleen Sebelius says the ObamaCare website supports 150 different languages, probably even Martian. But its also the first website to malfunction in 150 languages.

So its like a Win-Win to them or sumpin ;-)

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:05 | 4072656 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

But its also the first website to malfunction in 150 languages.

A record that will stand the test of time...

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:43 | 4073122 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

It works in every language.....except English....they didn't think they'd need to use the international language of business.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 22:53 | 4072822 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

Unfortunately English isn't one of the 150....

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:15 | 4072850 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Sorry to say but that's the one language that probably won't be needed. I guess we can consider Ebonics as a derivation.

Miffed;-)

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:13 | 4073059 Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

Designed by those fluent in Hebeonics.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:41 | 4073063 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

that's the lesser known linguistic variant, as distinct from the dominant financial form of hebenomics?

it's a joke.  

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 05:25 | 4073081 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

There's a new day dawning here in Halfrican'tistan...

Thank doG!

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:21 | 4073148 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

A reporter will never ask a politician this question:" what aca health plan does your family have and when did you sign up?" That question makes every single one of our rulers hypocrits and would derail the MSM propaganda.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:05 | 4071955 Itch
Itch's picture

Its interesting how these ideas are made up on the spot, and commended there and then.  

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:30 | 4072254 oldmanofthesee
oldmanofthesee's picture

Xcellent, SilverIsKing!

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 01:10 | 4072980 Shooting Shark
Shooting Shark's picture

Likewise gun ownership will be ruled out of existence through ObamaCare.  Gun ownership will be increasingly restricted based on medical-sounding guidelines, and gun-ownership will increasingly be regarded as evidence of a medical-sounding problem.  Like paranoia.  Or low-self-esteem.  Or hostility.  Worried that the government will seize your guns?  Then you are unfit to have them, and we're seizing them -- yesterday.  We knew this would happen, after all -- you post on Zero Hege.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:04 | 4072042 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Obamacare is the ICBM

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:14 | 4072227 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

ICBM?  Does that stand for "Inter Continential Bombastic Muppet"

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:27 | 4072251 Dr. Destructo
Dr. Destructo's picture

Ineptly Catastrophic Barry Mandate

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:09 | 4072050 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

Obamacare Tax Exemptions

.

  1. members of certain religious groups (code for jews?)
  2. Native American tribes
  3. undocumented immigrants (who are not already receiving free healthcare)
  4. people whose incomes are so low they don't have to file taxes
  5. people for whom health insurance is considered unaffordable

Obamacare Tax Rates

2014 - $95 per adult (half per child) or 1% of household income

2015 - $325 per adult (half per child) or 2% of household income

2016 - $695 per adult (half per child) or 2.5% of household income

Beginning in 2017, the tax will be adjusted for inflation.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:22 | 4072073 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

Rule #829a:

When something is declared free or low cost, expect it's actual cost to skyrocket.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:02 | 4072214 Scarlett
Scarlett's picture

Hey you any words on Bitcoin @ 180 Bernanke bucks?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:59 | 4072391 CH1
CH1's picture

<Crickets>

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:55 | 4072528 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

The upcoming VAT tax will lower the cost of Obamacare.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:56 | 4073124 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Well......that's just freakin great news there.

 

Pay attention to Greece.....cause that's your not to distant future.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:29 | 4072864 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Yeah, I thought they would have figured that out after Bush got his Prescription Drug Plan passed and drug prices began to spike even higher. I guess this concept is lost on politicians. Or maybe it's just they make so much money themselves creating such lunatic legislation. Neither reason would save them from the rope if I were their judge.

Miffed;-)

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 16:56 | 4072167 bonin006
bonin006's picture

I checked out the link. You missed one exemption - incarcerated individuals. Just refuse to pay the tax, they will put you in jail, then you will be exempt from the tax.

I also noticed they neglected to put on the website that members of congress are exempt.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!