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Weekend Humor: Obamacare's "Success" In Context

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Presented with no comment...

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

Source: Compete.com and Mars One Foundation

 

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Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:50 | 4071802 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Isn't Obamacare a One Way Trip to Hell?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:09 | 4071835 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

They will attribute the low enrollment figures to a mental illness epidemic.

The litmus test for mental illness will be not having enrolled in Obamacare.

Then they will force those who are 'mentally ill' to enroll in O'care or be institutionalized.

Then you will see the enrollment figures increase.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:12 | 4071845 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

It's Bush's fault.  

Seriously though, in a country of perpetually drugged and stupefied people, is it any wonder they can't get it to work right? 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:19 | 4071863 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, Bush was responsible for the Prescription Drug Plan, although it did roll out without too many hiccups.

When they voted for that during Bush's tenure I knew it was the precursor to national healthcare. That, and creating HMO's.

Just baby steps.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:41 | 4072012 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

Without 7 million enrolled (including a mix of 2.75 million under age 30)for 2014 this system collapses. (This is per GAO and CBO)In other words old Barry is back to congress to get tens of billions for a bailout or he let's it fail. People have to be enrolled by March 31st. So basically that's March 1, but of course to be on by March 1 you will have to sign up by mid February. Sh*t I went on the system again today and you CAN'T SIGN UP. This things going down the sh*tter.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:14 | 4072230 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Opollo 1

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:38 | 4072268 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Apparently complex systems require some talent to organize and run. Obama is long grand ideas but rather short on talent. 

You can not get this thing to work just because you know Serge and Mark and Bill.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:20 | 4072324 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

You give him a lot of credit for ideas that weren't even his.

 

Hint: look who would profit most from "his ideas".

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:02 | 4072651 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Profound. Full stop.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:07 | 4073138 markmotive
Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:53 | 4073172 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Hopefully by then Ted Cruz will be back with a Posse from Texas.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:32 | 4073061 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

in all fairness, you have to admit he took bush's idea of jailing u.s. citizens without trial to killing them without trial.

standing on the shoulders of giants and all.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:32 | 4073118 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

29.5 hours jobs......and still no health insurance.

 

Thanks Barry!

 

As we whistle on the road to total economic destruction...

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 15:58 | 4073977 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

The funny thing is, their cure for the website incompitence will be to pay them more !

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 06:09 | 4073093 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

ACA was first seriously introduced by Nixon, in fact. It's nearly identical.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:40 | 4073119 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Your grasp of modern history is beyond stunning.....almost like didn't happen.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:40 | 4073155 Hopeful Skeptic
Hopeful Skeptic's picture

This was never meant to work. And when it becomes clear this doesn't work, progressives will make the insurance companies the villians (at fault for the complexity) and thus will begin the push for single payer.

 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:52 | 4111750 playnstocks
playnstocks's picture

"We have to pass the bill to see whats in it" 

In the medical field thats called a stool sample.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:12 | 4073200 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Part D was nothing more than another giveaway to pharma. Funny they can negotiate prices for vets but not the entire population. 3K plans to choose from based on the meds you take. What a convoluted joke.

Don't know where the goose fits in the Turducken, but they've sure cooked it.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:45 | 4071912 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

ackkkkkkkkk...you mean you are declared mentally ill if you dont sign up? surely that means you are home free with lots of benefits for life? why wasn't this pitched this way in the first place, the whole country could sign up for benefits and nobody needs to pay any taxes...that is the path we are on and that works wonderfully hey!!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:33 | 4072255 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

I think you hit the nail on the head. When healthcare is already free to anyone who walks into an emergency room, why on earth would the people who use walk-in healthcare programs volunteer to start paying for it monthly even at the subsidized rates? This is the one thing all the lobbyists and geniuses in the DNC forgot.

Or maybe they didn't, and they have a bigger Machiavellian plan.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 02:30 | 4073023 drunkenlout
drunkenlout's picture

There has never been an explanation of how the taxes, or premiums, or co-pays, or penalties are going to be collected from people who are poor enough to need ACA.  With half of the citizens being non tax-payers, IRS can't collect from them, unless they file liens on real property, or just seize it.  Those who are unemployed can't be garnished.  What about those who enroll, but don't pay, or don't have wages to be seized?  How is this possibly going to happen?

 

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 05:22 | 4073078 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

re: "How is this possibly going to happen?"

That's going to be Ben Berstanke's new gig...

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:24 | 4073233 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Prolly OJT for shotgun weilding IRS jackboots & the new debtors prison industrial complex where corporate gets more free labor. 

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:17 | 4073213 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I'd think twice before an ER visit. I know someone treated for a spider bite only to find out when she went back it would be her last time. It was MRSA. It took her a week to die a horrific death. She left 5 kids without a mother & her new husband a widow with a $2 million hospital bill. Then bankruptcy of course. Just as the whole medical industrial complex was engineered.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:45 | 4071913 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

At least on the trip to Mars I'm exempt from Obamacare,

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:03 | 4072041 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Unless they decide to provide ACA off-planet...then it will be a really big thing and will get zillions to fund from now until infinity and beyond.

Don't give them any ideas...including impossible ones.

They tend to 'operate' and move-out on impossible concepts....just like science fiction.

Its like they saw Star Trek show in the 60's and believe its really possible today.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:12 | 4072411 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Kathleen Sebelius says the ObamaCare website supports 150 different languages, probably even Martian. But its also the first website to malfunction in 150 languages.

So its like a Win-Win to them or sumpin ;-)

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:05 | 4072656 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

But its also the first website to malfunction in 150 languages.

A record that will stand the test of time...

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:43 | 4073122 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

It works in every language.....except English....they didn't think they'd need to use the international language of business.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 22:53 | 4072822 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

Unfortunately English isn't one of the 150....

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:15 | 4072850 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Sorry to say but that's the one language that probably won't be needed. I guess we can consider Ebonics as a derivation.

Miffed;-)

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:13 | 4073059 Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

Designed by those fluent in Hebeonics.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:41 | 4073063 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

that's the lesser known linguistic variant, as distinct from the dominant financial form of hebenomics?

it's a joke.  

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 05:25 | 4073081 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

There's a new day dawning here in Halfrican'tistan...

Thank doG!

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:21 | 4073148 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

A reporter will never ask a politician this question:" what aca health plan does your family have and when did you sign up?" That question makes every single one of our rulers hypocrits and would derail the MSM propaganda.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:05 | 4071955 Itch
Itch's picture

Its interesting how these ideas are made up on the spot, and commended there and then.  

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:30 | 4072254 oldmanofthesee
oldmanofthesee's picture

Xcellent, SilverIsKing!

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 01:10 | 4072980 Shooting Shark
Shooting Shark's picture

Likewise gun ownership will be ruled out of existence through ObamaCare.  Gun ownership will be increasingly restricted based on medical-sounding guidelines, and gun-ownership will increasingly be regarded as evidence of a medical-sounding problem.  Like paranoia.  Or low-self-esteem.  Or hostility.  Worried that the government will seize your guns?  Then you are unfit to have them, and we're seizing them -- yesterday.  We knew this would happen, after all -- you post on Zero Hege.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:04 | 4072042 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Obamacare is the ICBM

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:14 | 4072227 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

ICBM?  Does that stand for "Inter Continential Bombastic Muppet"

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:27 | 4072251 Dr. Destructo
Dr. Destructo's picture

Ineptly Catastrophic Barry Mandate

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:09 | 4072050 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

Obamacare Tax Exemptions

.

  1. members of certain religious groups (code for jews?)
  2. Native American tribes
  3. undocumented immigrants (who are not already receiving free healthcare)
  4. people whose incomes are so low they don't have to file taxes
  5. people for whom health insurance is considered unaffordable

Obamacare Tax Rates

2014 - $95 per adult (half per child) or 1% of household income

2015 - $325 per adult (half per child) or 2% of household income

2016 - $695 per adult (half per child) or 2.5% of household income

Beginning in 2017, the tax will be adjusted for inflation.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:22 | 4072073 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

Rule #829a:

When something is declared free or low cost, expect it's actual cost to skyrocket.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:02 | 4072214 Scarlett
Scarlett's picture

Hey you any words on Bitcoin @ 180 Bernanke bucks?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:59 | 4072391 CH1
CH1's picture

<Crickets>

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:55 | 4072528 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

The upcoming VAT tax will lower the cost of Obamacare.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 07:56 | 4073124 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Well......that's just freakin great news there.

 

Pay attention to Greece.....cause that's your not to distant future.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:29 | 4072864 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Yeah, I thought they would have figured that out after Bush got his Prescription Drug Plan passed and drug prices began to spike even higher. I guess this concept is lost on politicians. Or maybe it's just they make so much money themselves creating such lunatic legislation. Neither reason would save them from the rope if I were their judge.

Miffed;-)

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 16:56 | 4072167 bonin006
bonin006's picture

I checked out the link. You missed one exemption - incarcerated individuals. Just refuse to pay the tax, they will put you in jail, then you will be exempt from the tax.

I also noticed they neglected to put on the website that members of congress are exempt.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 16:37 | 4072182 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

"members of certain religious groups (code for jews?)" - Actually no. The exemption is primarily for Amish, Menonites, Christian Scientists, and some other random groups.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:00 | 4072295 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

So Christian Science membership should be going up considerably in a couple of years...

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:11 | 4072307 akak
akak's picture

"Christian Science", lol!

Makes about as much sense as "geolinguistics" or "faith-based mechanical engineering".

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:14 | 4072312 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Or, in practice, "Peace through Strength"

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:17 | 4072317 akak
akak's picture

Or "Affordable health care"

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:18 | 4072320 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Thus perfectly squaring the circle of illogic.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:32 | 4072344 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

"I see." said the blind man sitting in the corner of the round room as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:56 | 4072423 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

I'm looking forward to being chipped, it'll be easier to identify my body in the FEMA camp.

Since Congress, the President, muslims and various other groups are exempted from the law, they won't be. 

 

 

 

CFR - Code of Federal Regulations Title 21

 

-

New Search Help | More About 21CFR [Code of Federal Regulations] [Title 21, Volume 8] [Revised as of April 1, 2013] [CITE: 21CFR880.6300]


TITLE 21--FOOD AND DRUGS CHAPTER I--FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION
DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES SUBCHAPTER H--MEDICAL DEVICES

PART 880 -- GENERAL HOSPITAL AND PERSONAL USE DEVICES

Subpart G--General Hospital and Personal Use Miscellaneous Devices

Sec. 880.6300 Implantable radiofrequency transponder system for patient identification and health information.

(a)Identification . An implantable radiofrequency transponder system for patient identification and health information is a device intended to enable access to secure patient identification and corresponding health information. This system may include a passive implanted transponder, inserter, and scanner. The implanted transponder is used only to store a unique electronic identification code that is read by the scanner. The identification code is used to access patient identity and corresponding health information stored in a database.

(b)Classification . Class II (special controls). The special control is FDA's guidance document entitled "Class II Special Controls Guidance Document: Implantable Radiofrequency Transponder System for Patient Identification and Health Information." See 880.1(e) for the availability of this guidance document. This device is exempt from the premarket notification procedures in subpart E of part 807 of this chapter subject to the limitations in 880.9.

[69 FR 71704, Dec. 10, 2004]

- http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/cdrh/cfdocs/cfcfr/CFRSearch.cfm?fr...
Sat, 10/19/2013 - 20:10 | 4072553 funwithstocks
funwithstocks's picture

Good god. This is really scary. Hitler or Stalin would be thrilled with obama's level of dictatorship.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 08:28 | 4073131 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

I fear for this to work...we're gonna need to round up about 25 million Texans and send them to the gas chambers.

 

However I do suspect anyone running the trains is going to be on a suicide mission.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:55 | 4073286 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I believe Aaron Russo stated as much in "Freedom to Fascism", told to him by non other than a Rockefeller.

Biblical indeed.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 16:53 | 4074064 g'kar
g&#039;kar's picture

I found that FDA transponder stuff after reading the actual Obamacare legislation somewhere between pages 1501 and 1510 which referred to Class II devices and UNIQUE DEVICE IDENTIFICATION SYSTEM. It is vague, but for a reason I'm sure.
.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:40 | 4072267 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

Why would Jews be exempt? You don't have a Jewish doctor? The exemption for religion is for those sects that don't believe in medicine, namely Christian Scientists and a few others.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:35 | 4072346 LoneStar66
LoneStar66's picture

Muslims -- w/are definitely NOT Jews . . .

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 22:36 | 4072802 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

I don't know..  There may technically be a difference--like the local languages for expressing their cultural fascism, but finally, since both groups are overtly hostile to non-members, I can extrapolate the following relevant, and in my opinion unifying, similarity:

Jews = Not me.

Muslims = Not me.

As equals, then, they are equally entitled to my same respect, compassion, and kindness which, when also given the previously mentioned overt hostilities, amounts to zero.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:02 | 4072836 keesooi
keesooi's picture

Small correction:  On the healthcare.gov site, it's called a "fee", 1% of your gross income.  Paging Judge Roberts...

All to avoid having to buy insurance that isn't really insurance to begin with.  I mean, birth control?  Is that an insurance event?

My grandpa made it to 98 without ever seeing a doctor or taking even an aspirin (he never had or needed health insurance). I am convinced he made it that far because he never sought medical care.  Glad he didn't live to see this. For me, I go out of my way to seek doctors who do not accept insurance (the only way I know how to find out if someone's good).  I bet the 35,000 that signed up all have a pre-existing condition, and can't wait to now have someone else pay for it.

For those of us under this "mandate", I beg of you:  Let's not sign up, and let's refuse to pay the fee.  MLK said that it is morally required to resist unjust laws.  Let's heed his advice.  They can't possibly throw 7 MM of us in jail.  

The only way we can get to affordable healthcare is to get the government out of it.  We can do this.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:30 | 4072701 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Economic hell and statist hell.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:52 | 4071804 Jahbulon
Jahbulon's picture

The Administration will either:

A) Lie and manipulate the numbers (probably already have)

B) Force people to join with a Gestapo type IRS assualt (and blame the Right)

C) Both

 

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:57 | 4071812 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

D) Implement single payer government system by executive order.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:06 | 4071827 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Or, they just comb through the Social Security numbers and match those with the IRS tax returns and sign you up automatically. If you have a bank account they'll just extract the funds directly or set it up with your employer to garnish your wages.

Then you'll get a letter in the mail thanking you for your participation.

If they can force you to buy insurance you don't want there's nothing stopping them form signing you up against you're will and then squeezing the money out of you one way or the other, and they have many means at their disposal. It's not as if you're some D.C. politician or part of the billionaire elite that can hide their income in offshore accounts.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:19 | 4071862 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

if you are gonna copy Europe's health care system,

then ya gotta autodeduct directly from the pay.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:20 | 4071864 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

You would think they would deduct it pre-tax. But, with the assholes leading our blighted nation, they have to tax it as a service.

What assholes.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:07 | 4072048 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

When they get within a month of "drop dead" dates and deadlines...they will probably dust off all their ammo/gear and get the Homeland Security to go door-to-door and extract all their data.

It will be a new 'profit center' of excellence.

Probably like the scenes from Schindler's List or Minority Report (spiders)...interesting times.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:38 | 4072355 Keyser
Keyser's picture

You are forgetting that this tax is for every man, woman and child, regardless of whether they are employed or not. So payroll deduction would not work. In fact, most employers are continuing their coverage on employees, ACA in effect or not. This coverage is targetting 30 million low income Americans. The irony is that they cannot afford it. 

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:43 | 4071909 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

exactly...question...is europe a half way house to communism ..so its an almost virgin or is it partially fucked?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:19 | 4071974 knukles
knukles's picture

Applying the logic similar to the A-Syrian Foreign Policy, it's both and neither.

By the way, has anybody seen Schrodinger's cat?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:46 | 4072280 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

No but I did find a hammer.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:33 | 4072705 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

By the way, has anybody seen Schrodinger's cat?

I'm uncertain.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 04:57 | 4073068 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"if you are gonna copy Europe's health care system,
then ya gotta autodeduct directly from the pay."

..stand by for user fee anyhow:

"..Health Minister Astrid Krag (SF) do not mind some form of user fees at Danish hospitals..."

(link in bloody danish, just for reference)

http://nyhederne.tv2.dk/politik/2013-10-20-minister-siger-god-gebyrer-på-hospitaler

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:47 | 4071920 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

They can unilaterally make you "owe" the IRS and then in turn revoke your passport for "unpaid tax liability" so you cannot leave.

The Iron Curtain, The Bamboo Curtain, now the Digital Curtain.  Judge a country by whether it has to use coercion to keep people from leaving.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 16:55 | 4072206 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

They can unilaterally make you "owe" the IRS and then in turn revoke your passport for "unpaid tax liability" so you cannot leave.


Right, you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.  Welcome to the Hotel USSA.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:12 | 4072665 WayBehind
WayBehind's picture

Hint: you can have more than one passport ... 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 22:14 | 4072780 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

"there's nothing stopping them form signing you up against you're will and then squeezing the money out of you one way or the other"

Well, there's one thing.. my expatriation.  (Best decision of my life, too.)  That aside, I agree, and you make a very plausible-seeming case.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:42 | 4071906 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

unfortunately, the solution is to up the federal tax rate and allocate part of the fresh taxes to your health care account, unless you opt out with a better solution.

by better I mean one that costs less, provides more and gives you a tax break, which is, as I understand, ANY health care plan that does not involve the federal government.

talk about fucked up!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:35 | 4072709 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I am wondering about the Gestapo IRS part that comes next year. God bless my company because they will keep me in the good with my friendly government. However, if I was one who had to buy my own insurance and then certify for tax purposes I do not know what I would do. The huge costs and crummy coverage would probably make me an overt resistor. Buying the crap would bankrupt me even at my fairly good income.

I am waiting to see if the IRS will go fascist because I see a very significant chance that millions may not comply. From what I can see the IRS and their new hires have been ideologically prepped given their passive persecution of the Right.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:57 | 4071811 texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Their initial goal was 500, 000 enrolees before November 1.  Apparently they contracted the Fed to do their projections.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:14 | 4071853 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

NAW, it was Jim Kramer!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:08 | 4072220 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Just run it thru the BLS.  They will hit any numbers they want.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:00 | 4071813 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

OK That was funny. You and Cossack.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:58 | 4071814 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Good one, TY Not_Jim_Cramer for a good laugh today. +1000

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 12:59 | 4071817 SimMaker
SimMaker's picture

SO, one set of people have signed up to a one way trip to certain death and a shortened life.............the others, a trip to Mars......strange world.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:10 | 4071838 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

And if Obama is in charge of the trip to Mars you can guarantee the rocketship won't even leave the launch pad much less leave Earth's atmosphere and make it to the Red Planet.

If I had to decide between Oblundercare and exploding on the launch pad, I think I'd take the latter choice.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:12 | 4072051 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

The software won't be ready.  So maybe they will just make a movie about it.

Its all a Star Trek fantasy.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:34 | 4072348 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

Hey, there's a ready-made set that they can use at NSA HQ.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:16 | 4072829 akak
akak's picture

Obama loves Mars --- it's red, after all.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:02 | 4071820 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

 Is the one way trip to Mars cheaper than Obamacare rates...?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:40 | 4072102 Cynthia
Cynthia's picture

What you need to understand about the U.S. healthcare system is that it is an enormous jobs program. Something like 20% of the working population in the U.S. works in the healthcare field, and a large number of those have nothing to do with actual medical care. They are paper shufflers working for the health insurers, the mega providers, people working at the state and federal health agencies. Those people have a vested interest in protected the bloated, inefficient U.S. healthcare industry because a switch to a truly affordable healthcare system would cause them to lose their jobs.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:33 | 4072260 monad
monad's picture

$2500 if everyone on Earth enrolls. I'm taking deposits at my portal, sphincter.kermit.gs.gov

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:04 | 4071826 toady
toady's picture

Whoever engineered that is retarded.

I saw a number yesterday, 14M hits the first week, that they were selling as astonishingly high. For the money they paid they should do 14M hits an hour.

I poked around a little but I can't find who got the contract. Whoever did get it, they need to be outed as incompetent.

I tried again yesterday, still can't get through.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:12 | 4071844 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Probably a bunch of affirmative action hires over at the HHS Dept. along with a bunch of insourced H1-B monkeys from the sub-continent.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:27 | 4071989 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

IBM.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:25 | 4072447 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

IBM has employee's in the United States?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:12 | 4071848 SimMaker
SimMaker's picture

Reports yesterday said that due to Ofuckfaces fears that the Repugs would kick up a fuss during a tender process, that he decided to use the same in house tech team experts that did his election campaign.......

 

Or in other words, the Dems pocketed 650 Million and got it done on the cheap by fucking morons.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:24 | 4072442 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

All the one's on the list have one common trait. Bankrollers of Barry's campaign. Blue hued fascism, baby.

LOL.

EPIC fail that Barry owns.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:22 | 4071866 conspicio
conspicio's picture

The short list of major contractors is:

CGI Group Inc., the healthcare.gov developer, Quality Software Services Inc., a UnitedHealth Group Inc. unit; and credit-checker Experian PLC

 

(source: Forbes at http://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2013/10/14/obamacares-website-...)

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:39 | 4071900 jptejas
jptejas's picture

Here's an even better article from 10 days ago...especially the comments below the article from Engineers involved in other projects lemmenting about the "a high ratio of project managers to programmers".

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/bitwise/2013/10/what_went_wrong_w...

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:20 | 4071977 toady
toady's picture

Thanks. Good stuff. It does sound like there wasn't any overall person-in-charge. Didn't have defined requirements? Like I said, retarded!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:53 | 4072026 jptejas
jptejas's picture

No problem. Given the fact they would need to hire someone to take "ownership" and be not just a Project Manager/Scheduler Asshole but an all around IT God (to make sure what people are suggesting is correct and will work) and get all parties (independant contractors) talking without blaming each other to fix it, I highly doubt it will get fixed anytime soon. 

Some other comments I have seen is that on the backend it is hitting up other large databases gov t and private that can not handle the loads.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:23 | 4072432 Abaco
Abaco's picture

Exactly right.  The number one goal was to hide the true cost of the plans.  That required getting all of everyone's info up front, income verified, etc. That required going out to various government and private sector databases.  These idiots just assumed it would work. Screwed around with the specs (instead of defining the interfaces up front) until the last minute, and, like every other management idiot, assumed if a coder finished his module on Friday it was ready for go live on Monday. None of the peripheral systems were ready for an increased load, none of the testing was done. It was driven by politics and a deadline pulled out of their asses and failure was guaranteed.  And failure will continue as they rush to put in "fixes" that break other things. 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:40 | 4072715 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Exactly right, Abaco. I also think the idea is to "capture" the identity of the peope by forcing them to register before they even purchase anything. If you are horrified by what you see and you back out they now have your formally listed in the system and can begin the friendly series of "Enroll-or-else" letters. That alone would be enough for me to go rogue on the system.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:24 | 4071867 texas sandman
texas sandman's picture

Don't remember the company name, just that it was a no bid contract with a company Canada fired for fubaring things up north......and that they were big Zero donors...

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:43 | 4072725 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I read an article on it as well. I believe the subcontractors for the Federally designed system use coders and programers from India, as well. To me this screamed of easy back doors and identity theft potential. If I was Putin or China I would slip in a friendly programmer or bribe one of the subcontractees and have a ready made portal into the guts of the data for the whole population.

The upside is that maybe we can find out what Chairman Obama's college grades were and whether or not he registered as a foreign student!

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 09:41 | 4073237 CPL
CPL's picture

CGI.  They are the leader in Project FUBAR up here. 

Then there is HP, they got caught at DND with one of it's primary contractors who also happened to be the client.  Wrote all sorts of bogus contracts to himself and staffed them with bodies that didn't exist.  The estimated number that a single guy pilfered was around 110 million.  Took him ten years to do it though.

http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/07/02/champagne-wishes/

He's only one in a long list of them.  99% of them don't get caught btw, it's usually petty budget crap that is slippery as a bar of soap.  Paul's main problem was he just got greedy and was incredibly stupid to flash that cash around.  Most Canadian civil servants I've worked with are paid well, but not that well.  They live modest lives and their paychecks are typically 'light' because the unions rob them blind.  Not much room for a porche in their paycheck.  Paul's though...anycase.

And he was a bit of a prick to people so the loyality ran out as soon as the money did.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:37 | 4071892 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Are you sure that 14M is not seasonally adjusted?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:49 | 4071921 CPL
CPL's picture

They are getting sued by a British company in about three days because they stole their software and reused it without permission under the GPLv2/GNU license.  Their whole repository and middle tier is going to have to be rebuilt, or bought.  Whoever owns that contract is fucked, at this point the company they stole the software from could ask for anything.

http://rt.com/usa/obamacare-healthcare-datatables-website-382/

So wait a week, the software manages their entire repository, so the enrollment might be going to zero if a court order forces the databases to be shut down.   A giant web service without a database to put stuff is fairly worthless.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:25 | 4071984 sangell
sangell's picture

Please let it be so!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:57 | 4072288 CPL
CPL's picture

All it would take is a dogpile of lawyers to do what they do.  There just isn't a level of insurance that would cover the cost basis of defending a country on software piracy charges.

The US Fed should know.  It wrote all the rules.

And it'll hang by them.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 15:59 | 4073980 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Silly boy.  The US Fed's rules only apply to the little people.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:34 | 4072003 chunga
chunga's picture

Good.

It's ironic but just thinking about this "Obamacare" baloney or even clicking the dumb website makes me start feeling sick.

Like some of the commenters above talk about - draconian IRS enforcement, liens, whatever. I bet alot of people are going to be really pissed off if they aren't even sick and get foreclosed because they're insurance papers aren't just right. This could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:46 | 4072729 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I just finished a fourth exam on Obamacare. The thing is loaded with a thousand little daggers and a ton of force. It may become visible.

I cannot wait till we get to the part where people simply disappear in the middle of the night. I think Putin may have been hired as a consultant.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 22:31 | 4072795 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

I'd imagine that if they start taking peoples houses your going to end up in a shooting war.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:25 | 4072444 Abaco
Abaco's picture

No, it's just a shitty little javascript that they stripped out the licensing from.  They can include it whether the license holder likes it or not. They might have to pay a penalty. either way it has nothing to do with the back end problems that are fucking it all up.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 23:14 | 4072834 CPL
CPL's picture

True, the back end problems are because they paid peanuts to get monkey's for a circus service platform intended for 340 million people.  That's for starters.

As for Batch script languages, IBM. 

Every one of their shitty service delivery products is written in that god awful REXX script.  It's a script, and it's covered by law.  The Javascript a guy worked on and publicly offered under the GPL, how is that different? 

It would not be okay for me to grab a REXX script off an old IBM server then port it to whatever platform with a runtime and declare it was mine without following the licensing.  Sometimes all it costs is a beer, but that's when people ask first.  Even the simplest of recognition is enough for some.

It hasn't got anything to do with a scripting language at this point.  It's either piracy under SOPA  or  It's a mis-communication for the government license manager and here's a giant check to make it go away.  The public release of that authors property and it's use is well laid out in the license as to it's usage.  Free as in Beer is the phrase here. 

Besides what makes any one believe that an underfunded project for so many users is properly licensed with so many pigs at the trough? 

You know?  Padding profit by under licensing to shave here and there.  It's a lot more common than anyone would believe.  Microsoft is now at the point their licensing strategy is a physical presence to count them coming and going.  The backend in that project Linux/HPUX/IBM?  Easy to shuffle licenses if offering an open source/closed source solution and hide it anywhere but hardware.  Or bury heads, under represent usage because as a contractor I know a vendor does scaling and I'm looking for a number to slide into and I can 'just get by' with X instead of the more expensive Y variable.

There are hundreds of ways to fuck with an IT project spreadsheet.  The more bodies on the floor, the more money you make.  Rule of Three for Contracting.

  • The software is what eats you. 
  • The hardware is what bleeds you. 
  • The feet are what feed you.

All these tech shops do is smart people prostitution.  Pimps. 

Like many things scale changes the business offered in IT Pimpin, I'm a fan of the smaller boutique shops.  The sales guys, Pimps, are usually technical transfers and can write a statement of work properly.  The larger body shops are just farms, the pimps you work with might be sort of technical or a sales guy from another industry stuck in the learning curve somewhere.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:10 | 4071837 Housewife
Housewife's picture

Does it matter if the contract folks are outed as incompetent? They're sunning themselves in Fiji on our dime. Well played. 

 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:14 | 4071852 SimMaker
SimMaker's picture

Doubt it....Frostbacks could'nt take the heat.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:11 | 4071843 PGR88
PGR88's picture

Please fix your Quaker Granola Bar pop-up - its fucking annoying and won't go away

I'm glad Zerohedge is earning some money for its efforts though

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:13 | 4071849 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Install pop-up blocker and quit your bitchin!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:21 | 4071865 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I gotta say, PGR, your comment is REALLY off-topic. Try posting it in the forums or something.

SAY, you're not one of those trollinskis or something, are you?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:12 | 4071846 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

The enourmous and resounding success of Obamacare enrollment numbers proves without a doubt that there are 36,000 people too stupid to understand anything about the way that they have voluntarily enslaved themselves, most likely until the day they die.

I wonder what kind of 'health plan' they have on Mars...

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:38 | 4071898 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

i think its a chocolate based health plan

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:31 | 4072466 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

so that's why Bath House wants all chocolate bunnies to have free laptops!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:12 | 4071847 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

WHY NOT DO A FREE MARLBORO ENROLLMENT PROGRAMM?

I bet the lobbyists would pay for all of it... the brides that is...

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:14 | 4071854 Heroic Couplet
Heroic Couplet's picture

Please let Cruz be the Republican nominee for President. teabaggers represent 13% of the US population.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:39 | 4071897 SimMaker
SimMaker's picture

Do some research dude......Cruz sticks his wick in a squid. May as well get McCain or Reid to lead the TeaParty.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:59 | 4071997 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Please let Hillary be the Democrat nominee for President.  Low-info members of the FSA and over-educated, yet still chillingly ignorant, lib-coms represent at most 20% of the US population.  This is not, in any way, shape, or form, an endorsement of the Republican Party.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:16 | 4071857 conspicio
conspicio's picture

Tylers: I'm trying to free your mind, Bitchez. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it. I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, bitchez?

Bitchez: No.

Tylers: Why not?

Bitchez: 'Cause I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

Tylers: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind - driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

 

(with all due respect and credit to Plato's Allegory of the Cave and the Wachowski brothers)

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:24 | 4071870 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

What the holy fuck are you talking about.

I know last night was Friday night but you gotta stop droppin acid so early in the day.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:38 | 4071895 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

heh...i think the bitchez (Neos in the movie the Matrix) would rahter not take the red pill since they would wake up plugged in to a machine and being maintained by robots...trouble is, the vision of billions of humans contained in little boxes with tubes attending to their bodily fucntions is the futre..perhaps 500 years hence..and the survivors of whatever global fukushima equivalent are going to be competing for the tubes, the box and the playstation game that keeps the mind alive.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:47 | 4071918 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I guess the next blockbuster movie coming out will be:

"Trolls Across America"

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:55 | 4071932 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Hey! look over your left shoulder.  That's chinism citizenism shitism. Your buddy just handed you a pile fecalism!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:42 | 4072013 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

 ...Wachowski brothers...

 Wachowski brother and sister. One got a sex change.

http://www.salon.com/2012/07/31/lana_wachowskis_quiet_coming_out_party/

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:52 | 4072025 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Now I'm gonna have to go immolate myself after reading that.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:26 | 4072242 monad
monad's picture

Damn!

Ridley Scott only killed himself. The propaganda industry is bad for ya.

Damn!

 

 

 

Damn!

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 13:18 | 4071859 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

      Obamacare should be renamed Obfuscation care ®

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 14:59 | 4072037 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

You will pay 100% more than before, your deductable will be 100% higher, and you will get bad medicine.  But..you will be paying for all the 30 million who do not qualify for medicare or medicaid (i.e. all the illegal aliens and un-insurable).

We live in 'interesting' times.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 15:26 | 4072055 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Knock on wood/ I've been blesssed with good health. I eat right and exercise. Personally I'm expatrating, so I'll get healthcare overseas.

   I know a group of M.D.s that have repriced heathcare on a cash basis. Here's the link: Doctors dump health insurance plans, charge patients less

   Atlas.md | EMR Software for Concierge Medicine

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 19:27 | 4072454 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Stalin-Care

'Cause you die as a result.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!