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Why Have Young People In Japan Stopped Having Sex?
Japan's under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan already has one of the world's lowest birth rates. As The Guardian reports, 45% of Japanese women aged 16-24 are "not interested in or despise sexual contact". More than a quarter of men feel the same way. Is Japan providing a glimpse of all our futures? Many of the shifts there are occurring in other advanced nations, too. Across urban Asia, Europe and America, people are marrying later or not at all, birth rates are falling, single-occupant households are on the rise and, in countries where economic recession is worst, young people are living at home...
Via The Guardian,
Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow three-storey home on a Tokyo back street... she did "all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on their nipples. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. Aoyama, 52, is trying to cure what Japan's media calls sekkusu shinai shokogun, or "celibacy syndrome".
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Japan's under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan already has one of the world's lowest birth rates. Its population of 126 million, which has been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third by 2060. Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" – and it's partly the government's fault.
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The number of single people has reached a record high. A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never dated at all. (There are no figures for same-sex relationships.) Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan – a country mostly free of religious morals – sex fares no better. A survey earlier this year by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged 16-24 "were not interested in or despised sexual contact". More than a quarter of men felt the same way.
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Official alarmism doesn't help. Fewer babies were born here in 2012 than any year on record. (This was also the year, as the number of elderly people shoots up, that adult incontinence pants outsold baby nappies in Japan for the first time.) Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, claims the demographic crisis is so serious that Japan "might eventually perish into extinction".
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"Both men and women say to me they don't see the point of love. They don't believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. "Relationships have become too hard."
Marriage has become a minefield of unattractive choices. Japanese men have become less career-driven, and less solvent, as lifetime job security has waned. Japanese women have become more independent and ambitious.
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Aoyama says the sexes, especially in Japan's giant cities, are "spiralling away from each other". Lacking long-term shared goals, many are turning to what she terms "Pot Noodle love" – easy or instant gratification, in the form of casual sex, short-term trysts and the usual technological suspects: online porn, virtual-reality "girlfriends", anime cartoons. Or else they're opting out altogether and replacing love and sex with other urban pastimes.
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Aoyama cites one man in his early 30s, a virgin, who can't get sexually aroused unless he watches female robots on a game similar to Power Rangers.
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Mendokusai translates loosely as "Too troublesome" or "I can't be bothered". It's the word I hear both sexes use most often when they talk about their relationship phobia. Romantic commitment seems to represent burden and drudgery, from the exorbitant costs of buying property in Japan to the uncertain expectations of a spouse and in-laws. And the centuries-old belief that the purpose of marriage is to produce children endures. Japan's Institute of Population and Social Security reports an astonishing 90% of young women believe that staying single is "preferable to what they imagine marriage to be like".
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The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much. Satoru Kishino, 31, belongs to a large tribe of men under 40 who are engaging in a kind of passive rebellion against traditional Japanese masculinity. Amid the recession and unsteady wages, men like Kishino feel that the pressure on them to be breadwinning economic warriors for a wife and family is unrealistic. They are rejecting the pursuit of both career and romantic success.
"It's too troublesome," says Kishino, when I ask why he's not interested in having a girlfriend. "I don't earn a huge salary to go on dates and I don't want the responsibility of a woman hoping it might lead to marriage." Japan's media, which has a name for every social kink, refers to men like Kishino as "herbivores" or soshoku danshi (literally, "grass-eating men"). Kishino says he doesn't mind the label because it's become so commonplace. He defines it as "a heterosexual man for whom relationships and sex are unimportant".
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Is Japan providing a glimpse of all our futures? Many of the shifts there are occurring in other advanced nations, too. Across urban Asia, Europe and America, people are marrying later or not at all, birth rates are falling, single-occupant households are on the rise and, in countries where economic recession is worst, young people are living at home.
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"Gradually but relentlessly, Japan is evolving into a type of society whose contours and workings have only been contemplated in science fiction,"
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Japan's 20-somethings are the age group to watch. Most are still too young to have concrete future plans, but projections for them are already laid out. According to the government's population institute, women in their early 20s today have a one-in-four chance of never marrying. Their chances of remaining childless are even higher: almost 40%.
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"Japan has developed incredibly sophisticated virtual worlds and online communication systems. Its smart phone apps are the world's most imaginative." Kelts says the need to escape into private, virtual worlds in Japan stems from the fact that it's an overcrowded nation with limited physical space. But he also believes the rest of the world is not far behind.
Getting back to basics, former dominatrix Ai Aoyama – Queen Love – is determined to educate her clients on the value of "skin-to-skin, heart-to-heart" intimacy. She accepts that technology will shape the future, but says society must ensure it doesn't take over. "It's not healthy that people are becoming so physically disconnected from each other," she says. "Sex with another person is a human need that produces feel-good hormones and helps people to function better in their daily lives."
Aoyama says she sees daily that people crave human warmth, even if they don't want the hassle of marriage or a long-term relationship. She berates the government for "making it hard for single people to live however they want" and for "whipping up fear about the falling birth rate". Whipping up fear in people, she says, doesn't help anyone. And that's from a woman who knows a bit about whipping.
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Don't kid yourself.
Japanese women need something to hang their meat curtains on just like the rest of them.
They better start ordering their seeds from HempDepot in Ottawa.As you well know,up here in Canada,I highly recommend BC Big Bud for sex.Guaranteed natural cure.If not,get your Sativex from your Doc.
Just send them some blue meth. That'll get the jizz flowin'
I was over at the recycler the other day and a guy was talking about blue meth. He said chicks go crazy on it.
Yeah!.......nothin' like a chick with rotting yellowy teeth going down on your man stick at a speed even the Flash would find hard to compete with.
SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN! IT BURNS!
James Dean in "East of Eden" (1954):
"I don't want any kind of love anymore. It doesn't pay off. No future in it."speaking for Steinbeck, you didn't have to be there,
but it is big in Japan.
It is because of the collapse of earth's magnetic sheild due to the onset of the Maunder minimum..
Ok if it is not that then the direct proportion of the rise of women in politics and psychotropic drugs in groundwater is causally related to the decrease in human reproduction.
When bitches gain access to the red button. Duck and Cover.
They will kill us all.
If not, at least all the men will turn into women due to all the estrogen from birth control pills being urinated into the drinking water supply.
Oh ye of little imagination.
Whatever man has access to the button will press it if every woman in his life says 'do it or you ain't gettin none'
I'm 52 myself, and live in the U.S. About one year three months ago my wife came home from work one day and pretty much screamed the "D" word. Been living by myself ever since and have no desire to start again with another woman. Life is just so peaceful now being by myself. Job security sucks even here in the U.S. I do not want to be spending ungodly sums of money to lure another woman into my life.
I'll just go it alone from this point forward. It ain't just Japan where this is happening. It's here as well.
Yes it is. I must say I am confused. I'm reading the genius comments here and don't see the answer.
Is this a happier state for we the planetary citizens? Are you happier? Is your wife happier? But more to the point...are your kids happier?
Fortunately we never had any kids. She already had one from a previous marriage and did not want any more.
As for me being happier. Can't say I am but also do not have much choice these days. Ain't getting any younger. Age is not doing a thing for my appearance, even though I work out and take care of myself daily, and am fit-as-a-fiddle. My doctor says I am a race horse, whatever that means. I make enough money to live comfortably, by myself. I owe no one a cent, have no credit cards or bills other than rent and utilities. Don't want to change that either.
My wife happier? Not from what I understand of the situation. But she put herself in the situation, I really and truly have no idea why. She had a histerectomy in early 2011, and it reallly did change her mentally. But she would not do anything about it, and was getting more and more insulting to me by the day. I could tolerate, but somehow I did or said something, not sure what, that put her over the edge.
I just simply do not feel like dating and starting the whole thing anew with someone else at this point. Maybe that'll change with time, who knows.
Best to you. And even though miffed and I get on the opposite sides, it appears that we're on the same coin here.
I went thru hell with the missus a few times. We're still together and if we didn't get some time apart one of us would be missing an appendage or two. Maybe time is what it'll take.
TMI - no one wants to hear about your misspelled lady parts.
WOW testicular cancer therapy session ALERT.
Loving relationships are based on paradox. Approach them from that basis and it's one heckuva ride. Make them rational and they are far less satisfying if not downright destructive.
That is very sad cb. I'm 52 myself as well. I've been with my husband since 16. In fact we just calibrated our 30th wedding anniversary. Sex has been an integral part of our relationship and we rarely go more than 3 days without it. We are passionately in love in all respects and are the best of friends. This does take work though. We eat good nutritious food, stay very active and maintain our weight. We are very supportive of each other during times of stress. I have very simple tastes and am low maintenance.
If I lost my husband I'd be devastated. I just couldn't imagine some man spending a fortune to " lure me into their life". Is that really what it takes today? Companionship for a price? I'd be happy with a quality person that's fascinating to be with and enjoys romantic and physical sex. I must be living in a strange bubble world. This article makes absolute no sense to me.
Miffed;-)
Oh, all my plumbing works fine trust me. I'd be happy with the same thing you would.
Ya know, from the neck up I consider myself pretty damn ugly. Nothing I really can do about that. From the neck down, I am the picture of perfect health. No flab, six pack abs, good muscle tone in my arms and legs. etc. I can wear the tightest fitting shirts and get away with it. I work out daily, ride a bicycle several days a week, eat right, work hard at my job.
I'm just truly not an outgoing person, I have really bad hearing and that makes life difficult to say the least. Don't hang out at bars, and will not ever do so.
For the first three to six months after moving out, I was devastated. And everyone knew it. Some people I know were really concerned I was going to off myself. And it came close a few times, but a strong head prevailed.
Don't want to do that again. So I am just not looking anymore. Somebody will have to come along and club me in the head and drag me along at this point. Isn't that what typically happens anyway? When you stop looking, there it is. I'll probably not see it.
My husband sounds just like you. No classical facial beauty and a great physical body. He works out quite hard himself. I asked him why once and he admitted it was primarily to have good sex which he absolutely loves. I think its the only way he can truly relax. I find sex for men is really important for them to bond. I think men express their love better though sex than women do.
I would rather see his face than any vacuous pretty boy any day of the week. He's very shy as well and I have to coax any feeling out of him. But he is a person of incredible depth and character. His name means still deep water which suits him perfectly. Most women would consider him quite boring actually but I dont need someone to entertain me. It's sad you don't have a partner that can appreciate you.
I'm not sure if the hysterectomy is to blame. I had a emergency one 3 years ago due to a huge fibroid that had to be removed( kept my ovaries and I have a high estrogen level for my age). My personality didn't change. In fact I got more into sex afterward due to less pain I was experiencing.
I hope a wonderful woman comes into your life. You may trip over her. Try to keep one eye open okay? Best wishes!
Miffed;-)
I don't blame the hysterectomy. Her's was an emergency as well due to a 25 pound ovarian cyst. But the changes that did occur happened afterwards, and were rather sudden. As I said, she got very insulting towards me, never had a good thing to say about me even though I worked my ass off around the house. Built a patio using 15 tons of dirt, 300 paving stones and another 144 retaining wall bricks. Built a new fence on the south side because she wanted the bathroom window behind the fence, rather than in front of it. Put up gutters. Put up new screens on the windows. Did my own laundry for the whole 18 years we were married. On and on, yet I was the LAZY NO GOOD DUMBASS.
There she is in the house I bought and worked my ass off on, here I am in a frikkin apartment. Sucks.
Somehow I think I'm better off where I am now.
That is just wrong. My husband builds things all the time for me. My chickens we continuously being killed in my inadequate chicken pen so he built me a palatial chicken house! Its yard is completely enclosed and he even insulated the house. He even painted it gold for me out of honor for getting him to see its value. When I found out how much he spent on it I was dumbfounded. I asked him why and he said after I was in tears after losing my last favorite hen he had to do it for me. I never asked him to.
He is replacing our porch railing that is dry rotted. I begged him to do it because It will soon fall down and is an extreme fire hazard. When the delivery came for the materials I paid for them out of a small inheritance I had just received. He was very upset I paid for it and sold some stock to give me back my money. I was surprised because I thought since I requested it be fixed I should pay the cost. He saw otherwise.
I thank him everyday for all the help physically he does for me and I appreciate it very much. I don't understand why you did all the work and you are living in the apartment. To me it should be the other way around. I don't understand why men today just seem to be so cheated. Really, I am at a loss to understand all of this. But hanging out here has truly opened my eyes to what men are going through and it's a damn shame. Please don't despair. I feel very sad you would consider suicide. God, I wish I could do something to make you feel better about all of this.
Miffed;-)
Somethings you just got to suck up. My wife has a daughter who is 29 years old. Said daughter has an austistic son who is now 5 years old. These two live with her, lived with us previously at no complaints from me. When it came time to part ways, I could not fathom her having to find a place for all of them.
It was easier for me to move by myself, than the three of them.
We still talk. She helped me recently at a time I really needed help. I'd move back in with her tomorrow if she would only ask.
I understand sucking it up. I have a lot of physical violence done to me in the past and am still suffering from its effects. I know sadness, dispair and hopelessness. I managed to get a gun away from my brother before he killed himself. I lived a life where just day to day physical survival was my only goal. I have spent years trying to recover from all of this and thank god for the love of a wonderful man and help from numerous people along the way, I'm okay. I guess when I hear people leaving people because they don't affirm them enough or don't do enough around the house I get a little bat shit crazy and want to thump them on the head. People don't have a clue what real pain and suffering is. They're just spoiled rotten and self centered bored individuals. If you are bored then by definition you are boring.
Miffed;-)
Um, that's the courts.
Much as I'm sure some men would love to blame the wife it is the courts that make it so easy for a woman (any spouse would be temtped, gender be damned) to take the easy route & keep all/more.
Where I am the courts are very badly biased and if you LIVE WITH each other a year you're "married" common-law. So pretty much even just living with a girl a year means you lose half of everything - or almost everything - if she so desires. Gee, why don't I just go find some kidnappers to hold me hostage or something. By the time I realize things might not work out it's far, FAR too late to escape. UNLESS she has mercy - most won't, so I'm seeing all around me.
.......SLIDE.........
Good on ya, Miffed. I would also like to congratulate all of the ZHers for their retenue and sense of decorum.....no snide comments were uttered during this touching interlude....
Sorry if I went overboard. I'll not mention it again any time soon. Sometimes ya just got to get it off your chest, ya know. And I don't have much opportunity to do so in real life. People don't listen anymore. They spend their lives with their heads down in their fucking phones. Life is just so impersonal these days. Wish we could go back to the days of landlines with no answering machines.
Agreed Aphids.
It was interesting reading - appreciate the different perspective of 2 sides of the relationship coin.
Marriage. Its work, but worth it.
Forced me out of my posting hibernation, it did.
Yikes. how man years has it been?
"Down to Gehenna, or up to the Throne, He travels the fastest who travels alone." Rudyard Kipling
I find it far better to be single than yoked to someone else.
cbxer55, some practical advice. I presume that you can't fix your hearing; that that is not an option. So you NEED to join a group that attracts other people (that is, women) who are hearing impaired. In ordinary situations, you just won't be able to meet women; how can they get to know you? If they say something and you don't respond, they'll just think badly of you, as I'm sure you realize. Bad hearing isn't a debit in a relationship, but it's a HUGE debit to starting one, if you're not clever about it. Maybe there's a local class in "Buying a Hearing Aid for Boomers." Even if you can't use a hearing aid, the class would have women in it who were expecting hearing issues in guys they talked with.
I hope you find someone nice.
NIce idea. Not sure anyting like that happens in Oklahoma. ;-( Boring state, let me tell you. Yes I am aware of the limitations imposed on me by my hearing. I only hear out of one ear, my left. Right is dead. So even with a hearing aid, which I do have, I still have one side that is dead. I live with my head on a swivel, hoping not to miss too terribly much. I know I still do miss things though, as fortunately, some people even ask me if I am being rude in ignoring them. After I tell them of my problem, they are, of course, understanding.
I go to an indoor swimming pool, I bicycle a lot, I eat out a lot, at rather nice places to boot. Got a really nice motorcycle. Have a really nice pickemuptruck. Life's good. ;-)
Work starts again tomorrow. Yeah, I work for the government. At an Air Force Base. It was all that was available at a time I really needed a job. Couldn't say no.
Have a nice week.
Okay, here's a thought. Usually people try to get/use the smallest, most invisible hearing aid possible. And, assuming that it works and does the job, that is the thing to do. Since it keeps attention away from something that should be irrelevant. However, you are in a special situation: the hearing aid doesn't truly do the job. You might actually be better off with a larger, more obvious hearing aid. One that is almost a conversation piece, so to speak.
Can't you take an Art Appreciation course at a local college, for heaven's sake? Or a painting course at a community college?? Or a pottery course?? Or a dancing class?? You're not going to meet any women on an Air Force base, or most of the other places you've listed.
Know what's funny? There are a LOT of Vietnamese people who work on this base. A lot of them are older woman. A lot of these older woman seem to have the hots for me. Hard for me to believe, but so I've been told. Problem is, they have horrid accents. Combine that with my hearing, it's truly a recipe for disaster.
One of them, her name is Kimberly. Really cute 54 year old. Yeah, cute. 54 years old. Somehow that does not seem right. I guess Vietnamese woman age more gracefully than us Amerikan's do. I just cannot understand anything she says. I know not what to do. She's made it abundantly clear she likes me. I just have reservations due to the communication thing. Otherwise I'd be all over her. ;-)
Yes, my hearing aid is very small and not visible at all to the average person with their head buried in their communicator. It also costed me a small fortune out of my own pocket, so it's not going to be replaced any time soon.
Thanks for the suggestions though. Much appreciated.
So... write her notes to start off with?
You got handed a raw deal, cbxer, sorry. It sounds like the hysterectomy did have something to do with her emotional change -- too bad she wouldn't consider trying bio-identical hormone replacement therapy just to see if it might help. A lot -- not all but a lot-- of women seem to have personaality changes after these surgeres. I think OB/Gyns don't really consider the ramifications of the surgery to help their patients deal with it post-op.
It sounds like you have a tremendous amount to offer someone. Once you get your sense of self back after this rupture, maybe you'll be able to see yourself how others do.
I was with my wife during the pre-op whatyamacallit. They told her up front she would probably have to have hormone treatments afterwards, as at her age of 45 it would more than likely kick her into the "change" immediately. She just refused to do it, that's all. No one could tell her otherwise. My bad hearing made it relatively easy to just ignore her when she got insulting. But once, and only once, I told her after calling me a lazy no good dumbass, "how would you like it if I kept endlessly calling you a stupid bitch?" Only did it once, and sorry I did. But it might have been the straw that broke the camels back.
I remember my mother after the operation! God she was nasty. I do not know how my father put up with it. I was a kid and it made me mad the things she said to him. Lost a lot of sleep to their yelling and screaming at all hours of the night. But they stayed together until my mother died in 2001.
Women can be stupid, short-sighted and downright nasty creatures. Some of us do not improve with age.
And kindness is a rare but essential commodity in a happy marriage.
I hope that in the not too distant future you will look back on this and realize that you've been set free. If that is the case maybe you'll be able to pity her even though she made her own situation.
Edit: And no one deserves to be berated like that on a daily basis.
Hope you don't think men are any better. We are just as stupid and hard headed as any woman can be. I am sure I contributed to things as they stand now. We just have not sat down and discussed it like adults.
Two months ago I needed some help. I called her and she was there for me. So all is not lost.
Time.
Men are different. Yes, you have your faults but there is a materialism to women now that is very unfortunate. When you combine that with the tendency toward shallowness that has always been there and with ultra-feminists telling them that halfway just isn't enough, you end up with a result that isn't pretty, has little charm and nearly no redeeming qualities. That is not all that is out there, just the easiest to find.
With men, generally things are more straightforward. You guys can be counted on to do what you say you'll do, for the most part. And given something to do for the person you care about, you will more often than not break your heart trying to do it.
Well said jena. It certainly makes me appreciate who I am and what I have more fully. I have found men to be more pragmatic and honest then most women. I think a lot of the problem is woman try to make men their GFs. Hetero guys don't like to be chatty. Sometimes when I come home I announce I need to vent. I go on and on. He rarely speaks knowing I don't expect him to. Other times I come with a problem. He listens in silence, cogitates a while and distills the whole issue and often comes up with a solution I hadn't considered. I wish women would honor who men are and accept them without trying to mould them into what they think they should be. There would be far less anger and friction. Life is hard enough with out all that.
Miffed;-)
DAMN right.
Hell if I knew a venting session was required, not all day and certainly not all day every day but just 'right now' AND HOPEFULLY with some respect for time to pause it if some emergency comes up... that wouldn't be so bad. Personality, gender & situational uniqueness or 'problems' happen & it's not abnormal. Anymore it seems what's abnormal is handling each others' differences.
Sounds like your husband knows how lucky he is.
I wish men would explain this to women but, perhaps, that is just not what men can do. I stumbled on this by accident when my husband, in exasperation, yelled at me " What do you want me to do with all this crap you are telling me!" instead of getting angry I finally got he didn't know I was venting, talking it out. He told me men have no use for this and didn't know how to respond. I told no response was necessary and I would from now on tell him when I was going to rant,rave and swear bloody hell ( usually under 1/2 hour). I define it very clearly and he is allowed to postpone it if the time is not good.
I have found this works quite well for many interactions. If he asks where I would like to go for dinner, I tell him. If I don't care, I say so. I have a rule to never say " I don't know" unless absolutely necessary. I have found saying that really pisses men off. They don't like indecision and categorize it as evasive and manipulative. Perhaps my direct manner was cultivated from years of training stallions. Indecisiveness and lack of respect could lead to serious injury or death.
Miffed;-)
It sounds like that's the key.
Mutual understanding is so simple when it's just laid out: ment don't rant and don't benefit from hearing rants in & of itself. Despite what zerohedge seems to be, and yes, that's steeped in irony. Women need to rant, a little, and someone needs to be receptive & let it happen. I can see how it might be "easy" to pawn that off to a friend rather than a boyfriend / husband but I think I'm picking this up: if you didn't care about a guy you wouldn't rant to him. Is that a good guess? Therefore pushing the wife/girlfriend to rant only at the other girlfriends would create a sort of a wall of "not my problem" which may be fine for friends but not for a married couple.
My problem is I've explained that I can listen for a while but sometimes I do in fact need to go do something else, possibly go OUT to do something else (probably buying groceries or something)... if a mutual agreement can be made that this is in fact a rant & it won't in fact last forever that would be great.
Problem is... sometimes that's not enough. This won't be all the time or with every woman of course but some seem to need a little more ranting time than others... like um, all day. Which is beyond frustrating.
You actually ... are willing to POSTPONE ... a rant.
I have never heard of this before.
This must be like when you find a bottle and rub it and an actual genie is in there. And it's a fine single malt bottle and the genie grants you a free shot with no obligation as to wishes/etc.
When we were first married, I switched jobs from trauma/ER nursing to surgical ICU and then cardiothoracic ICU nursing. This was a huge enough change but so was my personal life because we met and got married all within a period of five months. It would have been sooner but I couldn't coordinate a few days off from my new job with our parents, the only people we had at our wedding (a big reception bash held a few months later). In other words, my life felt like it went from 50 mph to a million, while he was all very zen about things.
I was learning something a lot of new and critically important things every day at work. My husband would stay up and let me unload when I got home at 2 am for an hour or so after my 12 hour shifts. (Also huge, he'd have dinner waiting for me.) The only thing was I had to ask him to nod every now and then so I knew that he either understood or didn't, but basically that he was still listening. It hadn't occurred to him: He thought so long as he was still sitting there and seemingly engaged, I would know he was but I did need that validation.
I know that this seems like a selfish thing, asking that he listened to me but he looked forward to it. He learned a lot and became well-versed in medical knowledge, which came in handy for us at a later date. (Knowledge is power.) This helped me process what I was learning: If you can explain something to someone else, you likely understand it and will remember it.
(Yes, I was able to put off my rants as the situation called for it. And with 12 hour shifts, this was a 3 day/week deal.)
And don't think this is one-sided. Over the years I have been his sounding board. He talks constantly about his work and calls me his muse because I listen to him and give him feedback about that running commentary. Often it is just a matter of repeating back what he has said once in awhile or reminding him about an idea that he has forgotten temporarily. But whatever, it works for him and he gives me more credit than I deserve, I think.
Oh, as for unloading this way to a friend? No, that wouldn't work. For one thing, there was an immediacy to doing it after work that made it efffective. Another thing was the intimacy in our relationship. He doesn't trust anyone else's opinion about his work and I wouldn't feel comfortable telling other people the things I told him.
for a finance blog I sure am learning a lot about how marriages last long term. :-)
Now I've gone from doubting there were any good ones left to wondering if I'd be up to par if I finally did meet the right lady.
Before ya know it I'll be thinking one day maybe markets won't be rigged, get a whiff of hope or somethin'.
I best not let the optimism go quite that far!
Yes, you may not believe this but I actually do this! My rants normally occur after work, once a week at most. I call my husband on my cell and say I need to do one. He says "best time for me is X". I keep it to 1/2 hour max ( yes I set a timer). You must understand. Rants HAVE TO BE TIMED. Otherwise they descend into a bitch session. "bitchi sessions" are not cathartic. what happens next is quite ugly, lots of swear words and screaming emotion. He will pay attention and say nothing. At the end he may comment. Usually its something like" guess you had a shitty day. I'm glad I don't have to work with those bitches." then I'm done. In fact, now he often suggests I do a rant when he sees me getting a little pissed off and frustrated. Kind of like lancing a boil before it turns into a big abscess. I think because he knows the emotional garbage is in no way directed at him, he feels comfortable doing it.
I think you are correct. Rants are ONLY effective when there is a connection to the person witnessing the rant. Good call. I hadn't noticed this. Though men don't need to rant they DO have need for release. I use sex and physical activity to do this for my husband. This will NOT release me like a rant will. We both understand this and there is no judgement here. I have noticed a funny thing though. If we are jogging together to release some of his stress, my husband will "mini rant". Talking it out will work a bit if a man is physically engaged. At least that is my experience.
If you are interested I will explain my technique more fully if you are interested trying this with a sig other. Yes, there is a way for you to exit a rant unscathed if you need to do something else. Believe me this does work and 30 years of staying together is proof. One of the secrets of our success.
Miffed;-)
I must admit I am now very curious - I'm single now but who knows, one day knowing what keeps a 30+ year marriage intact may just come in handy.
You are welcome to ask me any questions or bounce any ideas with me anytime. I am frankly very appalled how many women and men are interacting now. It's shocking. I watch it every day just in routine life and I fight the urge just to go home and have a shot of scotch to get the horrible imagery out of my mind. My husband occasionally calls me at work with" help! Some woman is doing X. What does this mean and what do I do?" I've gotten him through some tough situations and he trusts my judgement. One thing I think is critical is getting women out of the " blah, blah blah woe is me"mode and focusing cleanly on a problem and attack it the way men do. When a man sees a women do this, he gains respect. " Blah, blah blah" just makes them run in frustration. My email is zhmiffed@gmail.com. I will be happy to talk to you anytime!
Miffed;-)
I won't speak for Miffed but I suspect that she'd agree with me on most of this: Communication, lots of sex, consideration and wishing the very best for your partner and putting their needs above your own while always taking care of yourself so that you remain attractive to them. Of course, fidelity in all aspects. Plus kindness. That is a commodity that is wildly underrated but should never be discounted.
Before we got married, I was being bitchy one evening and my husband blew my mind with this line: "I don't deserve to be treated this way so I'm just going to leave now." I had always gotten my way with men and frankly I didn't really respect them as a result. I much appreciated him for not letting me push him around and I got the clear message that things were going to be different with him.
The other concept that he introduced me to that was utterly different was "I don't really like you right now because of your behavior. But that doesn't mean I don't love you." Whoa. So it was all right to have a major disagreement without rupturing our relationship? Fantastic! We had a few epic fights early on. Since then, not so much but I had some early evolution to do. Once that was over...
Absolutely 100% agree Jena! I understand what you are saying and done many of the same things you mention. We are so fortunate to have climbed above all the petty crap and we are reaping now the fruits of our travails. I've made it my mission to help anyone that is having trouble in these areas or at least be a sounding board if they so desire.
Relationships seem so bad today between the sexes and this economic nightmare is truly exasperated a bad situation to much worse. It's nice to see another person having a joyful life with their mate too. I guess this isn't very fight club. We're going to have to duke it out sometime to prove were not the proverbial pussies they denigrate so much here! ;-)
Miffed;-)
Come on. Pulleze. Why don't each of you exchange personal emails so you can bond together and let the rest of us skip the confessional/sage advice? Mucho Grazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"@ Karen "You might actually be better off with a larger, more obvious hearing aid. One that is almost a conversation piece, so to speak.
Can't you take an Art Appreciation course at a local college, for heaven's sake? Or a painting course at a community college?? Or a pottery course?? Or a dancing class?? You're not going to meet any women on an Air Force base, or most of the other places you've listed."
I love you, you crack me up because you're so right. He's playing it totally wrong. He needs to accentuate his weaknesses and make them his strong points. A big funnel hearing aid is a great idea. Who wouldn't be curious? and what a great conversation piece and point of sympathy, perfect! Classes like Art appreciation, painting, pottery or a dancing are expensive and are likely to attract liberal chicks which he doesn't need. Like I said, he will be in high demand when reality sets in. In the meantime he's better off on a dating site that matches him with people of similar interests.
I have to say that ballroom dancing classes look like a wonderful way to met women. There are about 3 women for each man at those places and they usually have dance parties a couple of nights a week for students. Those woman are grateful for any warm body willing to squire them for a couple of turns around the dance floor. You'll never be turned down and its not necessarily considered an indication of interest as it might be at a club. Experience is not required - its on the job training. The men make sure that all the ladys get on the dance floor some, so you don't have to worry about being stuck with someone. No pressure, no expectations, its not terribly expensive and you aren't expected to wine and dine anyone. Learn the Argentine tango and you'll have to beat them off with a stick. Women really like this stuff, guys.
I also have almost complete hearing loss in my right ear due to a severe beating that knocked me unconscious. My stapes bone was completely shattered but they fixed some of it surgically. It's very hard to hear in a crowded noisy room so I avoid parties because I can't hear anything being said. I am going to try and use a hearing aid but they say it probably won't help much. I do understand what you are going through. I used to like to be social but now am more content one on one in a quiet room.
Miffed;-)
They do not help much. Take it from one who knows. I do not know why it happened, but on Christmas Eve 1984, the hearing in my right ear just stopped. Like someone flipped a switch. It was the better of my two ears at the time. Go Figure.
Dizzy! Wow, you do not know what the word means until this happens to you. Dizzy! WOW! I could hardly walk a straigt line for six months I was so dizzy. Tinnitis. Yup, had it ever since. Loud tea kettle ringing in my right ear that never ceases. When it first happened, it practically drove me mad. I would be hitting the side of my head with a fist begging for the ringing to stop, it was so bad.
It's still there today, I've just grown used to it now.
Hearing aids suck. Even the high dollar ones, in a loud crowded room, are useless. I leave it out more than have it in. But for talking one-on-one, they do work in a quiet place.
I was warned it may not help. My hearing loss is primarily in the low frequency range. I also have severe tinnitus that's almost debilitating as well, dizziness and ear pressure. Sometimes I think my ear will explode. They thought I had an acoustic neuroma. Thank god I didn't. I've been worked up for numerous things, all negative. I do also have a patous eustachian tube on the right side too which is very rare. Put a bucket on you head and talk, that's what it's like. My husband was so confused I was talking softer and softer though I was going deaf. The louder I speak the more it hurts me. I can't eat crunchy foods any more. The condition is associated with a high suicide rate. Life can be so tough at times. I appreciate many have it worse than I do and just be grateful for the good I do have.
Miffed;-)
You will be in very high demand when global reality sets in.
I will not be here when/if "global reality" sets in. If global reality means not knowing where the next meal/drink is coming from, I'd rather move on to a better place. Who gives a shit about sex if your hungry and thirsty, and smell like a bear?
Amen Miffed. Although my wife and I haven't been together nearly as long as you and Mr. Miffed, I can't imagine life without her. Sure we had our struggles where I thought for sure we wouldn't make it through, however somehow we came out of the other side of the shit storm with a much stronger relationship. She is the mother of my three children, my confidant, and my best friend. It's unfortunate that so many relationships lose track of why they formed in the first place.
We truly seem to be the exception to the norm and I can't imagine how with all the stresses in today's world people can function without having a wonderful mate to make it all worth it. It's funny. My husband is in Dallas for a business trip and I just got this email:
Holly,
My dearest wife I just love talking with you. It fills my heart with warmth and joy to be a part of your life. Thanks for being my mate!
I'll sleep better knowing you are waiting for my return.
Love
Doug
I have tears of joy and can't wait until he comes home. I am so grateful to have him. We are SO fortunate!
Miffed;-)
You two are blessed with a great relationship that is for sure. As far as your question, I have no idea how people make it through the stresses without somebody to share it with. My guess is that it falls back to the egocentric nature of our culture. Too many people live the philosophy of "what have you done for me lately?" Instead of " what can I do for you today?"
Huh, I've been with my husband for 26 years and we HAVEN'T KILLED EACH OTHER YET.
And we haven't divorced!!
I believe in setting really easily attainable goals, and then being very pleased that I have met them.
But seriously, I do think people expect too much from marriage, and that truly doesn't help.
Coming up on 25 this December.....I've always felt like the luckiest man I know!!
It's rare and difficult....but its completely worth the minor sacrifices!!
But I'm sure you know that already....
:)
Absolutely. We had some VERY tough times. We just never left each other and, thank god, never had affairs which can destroy trust. Things will always be difficult when 2 people try to live together. I guess people don't have the patience and determination to see it through any more. May be too many unrealistic expectations as well.
Miffed;-)
My wife and I were married on December 10th 1994. So it would, and still will be 19 years this year. Yup, we are not divorced yet. Just separated.
Miffed: that is what it takes. You don't seem like the average woman (and reading ZH, and indeed posting, probably proves this) and I congragulate you on 30 years of marriage.
I'm 27 and going through divorce. It is 90% economic. Very sweet girl, and my HS Sweetheart, but after 7 years of marriage and after several years of declining income on my end (yes I made more at 20) and trying to reinvent myself in this country and in this economy....I'm just not keeping up. Plus as a person who had the, what is considered misfortune in our diverse society, to be born with a penis and with White skin....I get absolutely no help, no "privilige" as they call it, and not bonus points.
I also got fucked on housing, not being able to get a loan (even VA because the rules kept changing) and pissing away about 60k on renting that could've gone toward a real home. That was the main issue, and of course the wife contributed nothing to that. So much for saving 100K before 22. Doesn't get much in Maryland. Banks not foreclosing and allowing deals on the market, plus living in an expensive, high tax state (with many areas being wholly unsafe for someone like me and for my wife) and the wife not interested in moving away from her parents pretty much added up to....well, time to go.
I'm sure the above makes absolutely no sense, but I did pretty well early on, and had no support on the woman's end. I bent over backwards and allowed a less than ideal living situation in a place I didn't want to move back to, paid for it all, and got hosed for it.
A man could give his everything, and in this society will almost surely go unappreciated for it. Then the ultra feminists wonder why men aren't getting married anymore. It could have a lot to do with economics and the court systems.
W74, you have me at a loss for words. What you are going through is just so sad, tragic and frankly in my view, unnecessary. Have women become so materialistic?
If we lost everything( hey, in this world it could very well happen) my husband and I would be sitting on tires and warming ourselves over a burning barrel. Id gladly sleep with him under a freeway over pass. We'd at least be together. I work hard at my job and gladly contribute as much as I possibly can to our expenses. My husband absolutely hates the fact I must do this. He feels he isn't supporting me properly as a man should and would much rather I stay at home and raise vegetables and animals. I always tell him I appreciate all he does for me and it certainly is not his fault the government policies have created the need for a two income household. It's just the reality of the times. Why demand he kill himself for my pleasure? That seems inhuman to me. I am sad you did not get support
when you needed it. That you aren't bitter is a testament to your character. It truly isn't your fault. Please believe this.
For what it's worth, let me say I DO appreciate you struggles. I'm struggling too and wonder how we can keep our heads above water. Sometimes I fall into despair.. Please don't feel alone and though we are worlds apart in ages I do understand you and validate your frustrations. I guess not being a feminist and a lover of men puts me in a strange place in today's society. I hope you can find a way to recover and claw your way out of the abyss. You certainly have far more on your plate than I ever did at your age! Best wishes always.
Miffed;-)
Miffed,
I have long been following your posts on ZH and must say I kind of really like the stuff you post. I mean the stuff you talk of, I would happily talk all day long with people , only that, they won't be interested, since they are usually more into fluff topics and all. Anyways its kind of amazing that you are not attuned to a materialistic life and value a relationship more than anything else, women of your type are kind of rare these days. Like most of them would like money/luxury, ie., if you want a relationship with them, you need to purchase it. The best kind of relationship is always that relationship where both people share equally. That comes when you both really love each other. Anyways I am being pedantic here and don't quite even know if you will be reading this on a hectic Monday morning. Maybe I will get to speak to you at some other more opportune moment. Theres so much stuff I can talk , that I can relate with the stuff that you speak.
Hi sankol! Wow, someone that follows my posts? That's pretty amazing. Kind of reminds me of the old Sting song "Message in a Bottle"
Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle
A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart
Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways
Looking for a home
It's funny. When I came here all I was after was to gain some financial knowledge and peek behind the curtain. My goal here was just try to stay standing and fight a good honorable fight. I've gotten a lot more than I had anticipated. It's funny. I just posted who I was without any expectations or thought it would touch anyone else. Powerful medium this is!
I will always be happy to talk to you anytime you like. I'm on a medical disability and will return to work Nov. 11 when my posts will be few simply due to time restraints. You don't seem pedantic at all to me. People have lost so much connection today even though we're more wired together. Our humanity seems to be ebbing away in so many ways. Share your thoughts anytime. I will listen and try to give you my perspective. It can be very cathartic in this cold and impersonal world today. Take care.
Miffed;-)
I like you Miffed - but downvote for quoting Sting. Da doo doo doo, da daa daa daa...
Well, I find your posts really interesting, hence follow them. They are all so honest. Plus I get to learn something from your shared work experience like the bacteria you deal with at work, gut bacteria and so on. Quite an interesting, different perspective different from finance. Have a nice break or whatsever is left of it. I really don't comment on ZH much, just popped on to let you know I appreciate your posts. Is there any way you can log onto the chat feature here? Since I think I have added you on that. Else its all right, keep posting when you can. :)
Chat, unfortunately doesnt work on my iPad. If someone wants to talk with me I can borrow my husbands laptop if available but it takes some coordination. When I go back to work my time for ZH usually is at most 1 hr in the evening 8-9pm. Fridays and Saturdays are a bit better and would be best to set up a chat. I try to review my posts to see if I should answer something so comment on an older thread and I may get it. I'm glad you have gotten something out of what I have said. That is quite an honor for someone like me who doesn't have a background in finance. I've worked very hard trying to understand a lot that has been presented here. It's been so worth it! ;-)
Miffed;-)
Points against Ipad for its limited functionality. :) Don't even know if you have ever logged onto zchat here either. I don't exactly have a background in finance either, and I actually think finance has taken on a role out of proportion in today's world. Yeah, weekends are better for doing the chat stuff since work can drain a lot out of you, for some people atleast. Although you are indeed right, where do we co-ordinate the timelines, all the more so since I am in a different time zone.
You can email me if you like. I may take some time to respond especially after I go back to work.
Zhmiffed@gmail.com
Miffed;-)
The ultra feminists that I've known would be thrilled to hear that men aren't getting married anymore. Since it means that women aren't. Ultra feminists think marriage is bad for women.
"A man could give his everything, and in this society will almost surely go unappreciated for it." That is very true. It has always been that way, really. Male coal miners, soldiers, whaling ship harpooners; Fukishima workers, you name it, men have historically been treated as expendible.
Try not to be one of the expended ones!
Utrafeminists only like other women and hate anything remotely traditional or man centered.
"A man could give his everything, and in this society will almost surely go unappreciated for it." I see a trait here. In the animal kingdom in general, the male is usually expendable. So we may be arguing about cultural attitudes and feminism but it seems more like a natural trait.
W74, my husband and I have been married for over 20 years. Some of the time we'vve been broke, but we didn't realize it and some of the time we've had real money but it didn't mean as much as it might have because serious health problems were far more pressing. And then since the recession, things in the art world have changed life again. But we've both said so long as we were together it didn't matter if we ended up in a trailer somewhere.
You are young but you are gaining much knowledge about yourself and what you want. More importantly perhaps, you now know more about what you don't ever want again. Your values are defining themselves and you'll emerge fromm this with a far different perspective than you had before, about women, love and life.
When you're ready for a relationship, one will appear but not until you are ready in all aspects. Keep yoursef open to the possibility that someone is out there, and have a little faith that she will be very different than the psycho hosebitch you just got away from.
W74, I got lucky.
32 years ago I married a woman I met four years before (in freshman chemistry class! heheheeee...) and we've held it together. We have two, one just graduated B.S. English last year, the other has a two-year degree last year and is waiting to finish his B.S. (probably something to do with computers) ....
Once we move again. My baseline is engineering, and chasing a career has moved us nine times already, tenth coming up when I finish this degree. She has said that this is her last move, and I'm OK with that; not many women would have put up with that much mobility over the years. It wasn't so much a planned, orderly career path as a series of contingencies that led me this way, and she raised our children a lot more than I did as we moved around the country.
We were engaged over three years before we married, and I think that helped tremendously. She knew what a doofus I was and married me anyway, and she has been loyal, steady and thrifty the whole time. For the last twelve years we have been running our household on grad student stipends (under the Federal "poverty line" for a family of four, whatever that means) and she indicates no need for great expenditures now that I'm getting real paychecks again.
Two kids, numerous moves, cancer survivor - my wife is a rare one, and I don't know how many are made that way these days. If you find one, hang on tight - they are more precious than gold, and vastly more worthwhile than mere "beauties" who know not patience or honor.
By the way, I'm mildly Libertarian and she's mildly Liberal - we don't agree on politics, but manage to cope. I'm mildly religious (sort of Buddhist), she's an atheist - we get along. She watches soap operas and sitcoms at times, I can hardly stand either - but we manage. We are both fiscally conservative (had to be!), mildly introverted, intellectual and curious - our styles are similar enough where it counts that we can tolerate our differences. And wouldn't life be boring with someone exactly like yourself?
But if you're really and truly miserable, don't torture each other for years "for the sake of the children", for society, or for any other foolish reason - the kids will know you hate each other, and it will warp them terribly. The usual thing one hears is along the lines of "They finally broke up, and now I know it wasn't my fault, but I still feel that way" , or worse, "They stayed together for years, fighting and fussing, because of me. I didn't make them marry, but once I came along I kept them locked up together just because I was alive". If you really love your kids, why would you do that to them?
If you can make it thirty years or more, do it - its better for everyone, yourselves included. If not, be not judged - people change over time, and life is too short to spend large parts of it in regret. Best of luck to you.
You're a rarity. Your husband is a very lucky man.
I could search 2 life times and not find a woman like this. Meh. That's why I haven't and I'm not going to be surprised to see that unchanged.
Glad to hear you could celebrate 30 years.
Japanese chicks can give me head, right? A blow job isn't really sex--'cause President Clinton said so.
:)
It'll only cost 90,000 Yen.
But, its gotta be cheaper than child support and alimony for life.
The average man takes 7 minutes to do his business. If you figure out the cost of paying for a kid, and divide it by the 7 minutes, you too wouldn't have kids.
For all the porn star stallions out there, I will leave it as a homework problem to figure out your own particular math problem
Yep, I'm fond of saying "For a few seconds of heaven, you have to live in a lifetime of hell."
Fortunately, medical science has shown where babies come from, so for the most part, they are preventable accidents.
The problem with slippery holes is that they can be even more dangerous than a super massive black hole at the center of a galaxy when one needs to achieve escape velocity.
Didn't Meatloaf have a famous song based on that idea?
best short story ever written- "a true nurse romance" by william kotzwinkle. nuff said.
spoiler allert -"and it only cost my dad 500 bucks"
End session.
Well, from a male perspective, with such excellent and varied access to schoolgirl panties, what's the point of having actual sex? Cost effective, no cuddling required, etc.
Ahh, the smell of fresh school girl panties in the morning.
AKB48 Heavy Rotation is SMOKING HOT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkHlnWFnA0c
They are cute and sexy but Japanese seem to have something against full grown red blooded women. Even many of the men look effeminate these days.
At the risk of losing my ZH street cred, I will admit that cuddling is quite enjoyable as long as vocal utterances are kept at a minimum.
Dammit boy, this is Fight Club, not cuddle time!
Haha, keep it a secret. In my mind...there's nothing un-manly about being near naked or half naked women. It's what you call it that matters. Just eliminate the "cuddle" word. Call it skin to skin or something similar and have another beer with the guys. No one will know the difference.
Conversely, sales of used panties in Japanese vending machines are at an all time high.
Reminds me of the Folgers coffee commercial
The best part of waking up is School Girl Panties in your cup.
I remember it having a slightly different, more catchy ring, but I can't seem to finger it.
"the two girls anda ...."?
w74- you need a what? ......
20% of Tokyo university students want to die, NPO survey suggests
Oct. 19, 2013
TOKYO — About 20% of university students say they would like to die, according to a survey carried out in Tokyo this summer.
According to the NPO Lifelink which conducted the survey, 122 university students were asked to fill out a survey. TBS reported that of the group, 26 students, around 20% of the total, answered that they would genuinely like to die. The NPO says it believes the statistics are related to job-hunting failures and rejections.
Police statistics show that the total number of suicides in Japan last year dipped below 30,000 for the first time in 15 years. However, the number of suicides among people in their 20s increased and 149 people are believed to have committed suicide due to problems finding employment.
In the past more children meant more workers for the community and a better chance of continuing the lineage when there was a lesser survival rate for children. Today the chances for offspring surviving are much higher, and people don't rely on them for labor. Now they are just another expense added to the bottom line for working people. Those surviving on the guberment teet rely on them for welfare checks. Once that money stops flowing and children start becoming more of a burden than they are worth, then we will see a similar pattern develope here.
I think you are at least partially right. It correlates with rising prosperity and dropping birth rates. I would add that children are a third dimension of trouble over and above what may happen with you and a spouse. They can get into all types of trouble over a lifetime and bring new avenues of trouble into your life as the State has taken an unprecedented role in indoctrination and parenting.
You can divorce a spouse but kids are pretty much forever. Correct me if I am wrong, too but it seems over half the kids today are autistic, ADHD, bipolar, aspergers or something diagnoseable and incurable.
So, kids are profitable for government checks, as you say, but in the productive class it gets dicey.
Contrary to popular belief, possibly based on the massive propaganda we're all programmed with (right from the get go, i.e. beginning at birth), Sex is overrated and misunderstood.
One of my favorite sayings that has proven true is "Sex is like oxygen. It is no big deal unless you aren't getting any."
Maybe they have radioactive cocks?
They actually made a film with that in mind.
Porn Holocaust http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0235686/
I think the US is headed down the same path........I wonder what the numbers look like here?
In 2011 US Fertility rate is 1.89 births per women vs Japan at 1.39. Japan's fertitily rate started to taper off in the mid 1980... (1.81 in 1984).
I think the economy had a lot to do with it and like the Japaneese debt, I think the US will follow in Japan's foots steps.
Japanese women are slim, hot and sexy. Many are wealthy. I've heard there's a thriving black market importing Brit, Aussie, German and American men through Hong Kong to feed this marketplace. Why not? SciFi 202. Thriving Hubbie Placement Service. Of course, only men visit prosit...oops, that is LOVE when a woman acts aggressively. She is acting on her "cougar" instincts.
Where do i sign up?!
Slim, hot and sexy? We don't have any of those here in Wisconsin. All we have are fat ass bitches who won't look at you if you don't drive a BMW.
Glad I had my fun already cuz I wouldn't walk across the street to bang these pigs
And just think, cbxer55 had hopes of dating again.
LOL ;-)
Funny, you and I have been on this site almost the same length of time. 4 years and a couple fo weeks. Yet I simply do not recall seeing too many posts from you during this time. Myself, I seldom post here. All the topics are usually interesting. I just am not educated enough to post on them. Every once in awhile though, one comes along like this one. ;-0
Please go away. You are lonely. WE GOT IT.
You have made it clear previously that women are just cunts for you to fuck. You brag about your threesomes with prostitutes. Personally I think men who pay for sex are just losers. I could careless if you do so. Men like you fuck and fuck, then take pills when they are so old they can't get it up any longer( if your penis doesn't fall of from GC) Enjoy your superficial fuck life and die unsung, un wept and uncelebrated. Millions have done so before and many millions will do so after you have faded into oblivion. But I do find it strange you denigrate others who, on occasion, talk about some personal pain. They are some kind of a threat. This doesn't mean ZH will descend into some testicular cancer pity party. It will not. This is rare here and I'm normally don't talk of such matters unless someone like cbx starts. He is more than a man than you ever will be in my opinion.
Miffed;-)
You stopped being a woman after menopause so I guess we are even.
It's the same in Oklahoma, pal. Most of the woman here look like they never saw food they could pass on. They have a See Food Diet, see food and eat it. It's one of the contributing factors in my finding myself separated from my wife, and having no desire to start another relationship. I don't drive a bmw, I drive a Ford LIGHTNING pickup truck. It's a hotrod pickemup truck, but it don't pick up jack shit.
Yep, glad I already had my fun as well.
[URL=http://s849.photobucket.com/user/cbxer55/media/Lightning/01010002-11.jpg...][IMG]http://i849.photobucket.com/albums/ab51/cbxer55/Lightning/01010002-11.jp...[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://s849.photobucket.com/user/cbxer55/media/Lightning/01010020.jpg.ht...][IMG]http://i849.photobucket.com/albums/ab51/cbxer55/Lightning/01010020.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
lol "See Food Diet"
Percentage of American men who are obese: 32.2
Percentage of American women who are obese: 35.5
In 2010, per wikipedia, via the CDC.
American men are just as PORKY as American women.
Maybe so. I'M NOT! I'm 52 years old, 6'2" and 165 pounds. Work out every day, ride a bicycle and swim for cardio. I'm one of the 64.5% who are not obese, and care about my physical well being and health. I do not take, or need any medicine, just vitamins and supplements.
Yes, I am aware that too many people are fat and out-of-shape. What can ya do? It's their life.
Me too. I'm 5'4" and fit comfortably in a size 8( no stretchy pants! ) I'm very voluptuous D cup with a narrow waist and a flat stomach from years of power yoga. My husband says my figure is better than most half my age. Most people think I'm forty. But I work extraordinarily hard to keep it. No wheat, corn or soy. Mostly raw organic veggies with some good quality animal protein. I was given a coupon for a facial from my daughter and the technician was amazed how young my skin was. I take quality suppliments and juice often. No pharmaceuticals. It can be done but it is not cheap. It's just a life style choice. Others prefer the joys of steamer trays. I'd be 400+ lbs if I did that and sex would not be enjoyable any longer. We all will age. I want to preserve what I have as long as I can.
Miffed;-)
Crazy this food and drink stuff.
I'm sitting here eating some Zesty Dill Spears and drinking Wild Turkey 101. ;-)
Pickles and booze. Is that somewhat akin to woman eating pickles and ice cream when pregnant?
Not sure if it's good for me, but my blood pressure and pulse say it is. LOL
Haha! That's great! I usually have scotch when I zero hedge but I got a bit too crazy on a thread and even Nmewn said he was so shocked from my utterings he was at a loss for words. So I'm trying to tone it down a bit. There is truth in drink but when it get gynecological it's not pretty. ;-)
Miffed;-)
I like scotch as well. But it tends to be a bit more pricey than I like to spend on booze. Especially single malt. Just wow! My favorites are Wild Turkey 101 and Yukon Jack, 100 proof Canadian Whiskey. Doesn't take much to get ya crazy! ;-)
Nmewn at a loss for words! Never! I'm shocked to hear of such a thing. Shocked I tell you!
God is it expensive! My favorite is glenlivet 18 year. I dole it out carefully. My mother in law gave me an Oban 14 year that was excellent but I'm afraid to look at the price. Unfortunately on the thread of horror I had not eaten anything all day and one shot sent me quickly to the dark side. I should have at least had some food in my stomach. After the third all I can hope for now is the evidence will be archived soon. I'm so spoiled on the smooth taste I just can't go back to Jim Beam unless I put it in coffee. I'm almost out of my stash so I will soon be forced to go to the cheap.
It's been wonderful talking and hearing about yourself. I do have an early day tomorrow and without my husbands gentle guidance I'm up too late as usual. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope you find someone to love who is kind to you. Best wishes always my friend.
Miffed;-)
Have a good week. I will, as usual. I don't let any of this really get me down.
Jim Beam! Ummmm! ;-)
Hey now, you've talked about yourself quite a bit here tonight. It was not all me, although I did get the ball rolling. I have a way of doing that onliine, that I cannot do in real life thanks to my ears.
Talk at ya later. Maybe I'll luck into one of your rants whilst drinking. Sorry I missed that. ;-)
Thanks for your kind response. I will sleep well now indeed! Take care.
Miffed;-)
Thanks for the laugh, I'll be looking for your postings in the future.
Just my observations. If the 65 or so percent of those not considered obese, I would say the men are hands down healthier than the women. I see so very few women that I would say are healthy. Everyday the disgusting spectacle of some marginally healthy women trying to walk in heels. Bad propportions, bad posture, bad flexibility. NO GRACE.
I laugh at the entitle alcoholic cunts at AA meetings who still seem to think everyone else had the problems. They half get it but can't own their shit. Just like your hamster can't identify your extreme femm friends as extremly selfish.
20 years ago I worked at a shoe store, I didn't last long because I was too charming for my skinny chain smoker woman boss. In one month of mostly trying to fit women I came accross 2 pair of healthy feet, Your stat only reflects one aspect of poor health.
Spin hamster spin
If you're in Wisconsin, those probably are actual pigs.
You heard? Hahaha... and now for the reality. On the ground in Tokyo, what you mostly find is short, bow-legged and plump. Sure, some of the Japanese porn stars look great. And ours don't?
Lol.
It's happening here, too. Women are becoming more masculine and men are turning into pussies. A lot of this is due to the gender-bending chemicals in our foods. BPAs, pesticides, herbicides, plasticizers, etc. are all mimickers of estrogen and testosterone.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2281394/Poisoned-day-life-Landma...
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/11/18/research-p...
Eat organic.
That is right... economic freedom, education and control over reproduction leads to masculine women..... <sarc>
It's happening here, too.
Yes, indeed and the MSM supports and steers this shift with enthusiasm. Just look at the Telescreen programming; every male character is effeminate and subservient to women, and the sheeple watch and emulate this behavior with no resistance. Tim Allen might be the only exception; I don't know how he gets away with it.
Women are learning to take men for all their money to exhaust them to death, then leave with the kids regardless, so a man learns in advance of marriage there's not much sex, then there's no sex, there's lots of work & only payments to make for child support, then there's no chance to raise your kids because you won't get custody: she will. Learning all that in advance tell me why men want to get married. Fuck that. The risk is too high, the reward is almost nothing.
Sounds to me women aren't being more masculine, they're just being more treacherous.
i want BANZAI7! porn. willing to trade 20 min. futa3-D. will travel. non-"whining/crying schtick"(+28 dtwn)
any "feeling-ladies"/"fight club beeeaahtches" of kyoto feelin' my zh-relationship drift?
(i don't own a sybian, but i'd go in debt for one for you)
WTF ???
Osaka Professor Masaki Shimoji was jailed for 20 days in Osaka along with other anti-nuclear activists and he discusses the continuing repression by the Japanese government in order to prevent the Japanese people from learning about the continuing dangers from the Fukushima nuclear power plant catastrophe.
An English translation is provided by an interpreter as Prof speaks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKRvT3Ku_H0&feature=player_detailpage
I've taken the flight between Jakarta, Indonesia and Tokyo quite a few times. Like many other developed Asian countries, these planes are often filled with Indonesian housekeepers. I can only imagine to care for the ever growing older population. The other observation is that almost every Japanese female passenger on the plane has a germ mask on. The message is clear: "leave me alone".
Texting, sexting, masturbating, sexting, masturbating, fewer STD's.
What's the problem? Fewer children? Who the hell needs people?
We have ROBOTS to ring up our purchase!!!
This sounds horrible!
Unless you have robot ears!
http://youtu.be/ltORkYAdVk
Somehow it's not surprising that celibacy is rising in a nation that's poised to sell more adult diapers than baby diapers.
http://nypost.com/2013/07/11/adult-diapers-to-outsell-baby-diapers-in-ja...
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/20/young-people-japan-stopped-having-sex
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-29227-page-2.html
Get rid of the O in BOJ.
It's what happened when countries listen to the west. France and the rest of Europe is being taken over by foreigners. The countries are loosing their identities.
India, the middle east, Mexico and South America populate like rabbits
If the guy in the photo is what is on offer, I think I'd prefer the company of the dog.
Apparently he agrees. He'd prefer the company of the dog over the girl pictured, maybe over you. It takes two to tango.
If he has any assets, he can "buy" physical satisfaction and keep his wealth and it looks like the guy got the dog too.
It's the lady's dog, per the article.
He's just buying the temporary pleasure of its company.
Well why would you want to have sex with one of these Japanese girls....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEinLKXD9_w
are they mad???
Lower birth rates is a manifestation of gloomy future economic outlook of the future. We see it world wide, not just in Japan. Birth rates around the world in most places are declining. Same thing happened in the past.