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Brosurance: A Keg Standing Ovation For ObamaCare's Greatest Hit

Tyler Durden's picture


Just when you thought ObamaCare couldn't stoop any lower in its "sales pitch", it does.



and there's more...


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Tue, 10/22/2013 - 13:56 | 4080031 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Is this for real?


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 13:58 | 4080041 Suisse
Suisse's picture

Unfortunately, yes.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 13:59 | 4080046 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:03 | 4080071 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

Where's the "bro's" in those pictures? Weird eh?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:08 | 4080102 Flagit
Flagit's picture

they are the 2 thugs forcefully spreading your legs apart for the mandatory fucking/gang rape/mass orgy that is about to take place in your ass.


they will get their ends.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:15 | 4080132 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture



Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:19 | 4080147 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Wouldn't it be some funny ass shit if California Milk Processor Board sued the US government for advertising infringement?!?!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:27 | 4080194 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

My takeaway:  The guy in the purple shirt first gets drunk and then crashes his bike.  The other dudes drink beer and then one of them drunk dials his mommy.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:27 | 4080199 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

and the pregnant woman is a guy in drag.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:37 | 4080241 kralizec
kralizec's picture

This shit is too stupid to be fake!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:53 | 4080302 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

If it's free, I'm in, dude.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:58 | 4080315 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Welcome to the Healthcare Marketplace, have a cigar.  And did we tell you the name of the game, boy?  We call it riding the gravy train...

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:08 | 4080352 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Really? This is Colorado:  Where is the BONG in that setup?

Talk about B.S.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:18 | 4080392 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

You want BS?  I'll give you BS. 

I have health insurance.  Individual plan.  Pricey. 

That company is not offering any products that qualify for the subsidy.  BC/BS in my area will NOT offer a product that qualifies for the subsidy.

And they were honest about it.  "You can stay with us and pay what you have been paying, or leave and find a plan with a subsidy.  We know the risk we are taking in losing your business, but our management thinks it is such a mess that we will take a far larger loss if we do offer such a thing.  The only sales point we have to work with is . . . yes, you get no subsidy, but our network is much wider and if you go with one of these new places you'll have a narrower network."

That's about as bad as it gets.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:22 | 4080403 WarHorse
WarHorse's picture

Sorry Guy - there's no subsidy if you have a job ... 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:25 | 4080411 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

The subsidy thresholds reach pretty high, actually, but it doesn't include income from LLC capital gains, left within the LLC.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:48 | 4080950 drchris
drchris's picture

The real question is: What does the graph of subsity vs income look like? 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:05 | 4081010 redpill
redpill's picture

I knew we'd eventually get to Idiocracy, I just didn't realize it would be today.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 19:43 | 4081260 Abi Normal
Abi Normal's picture

i'd love to shove that keg up a somebody's arse!!!  arrrg

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:03 | 4081295 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Gonna’ be needing that Obamacare for when you slip off the handles of that keg because you are drunk and then impale yourself on the tap.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:50 | 4081391 Syrin
Syrin's picture

No wonder there is a seccessionist movement.   These f-tards are going to not make it past the first week of the currency collapse.   Where are all the bros from the hood in that pic?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 21:52 | 4081523 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

no self respecting negro is going to pay for their free healthcare, so no need to advertise to them

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 22:09 | 4081568 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Where's the "bro's" in those pictures? Weird eh?

they are the 2 thugs forcefully spreading your legs apart for the mandatory fucking/gang rape/mass orgy that is about to take place in your ass.

they will get their ends."


It's just the tip, dude.  Relax.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 22:55 | 4081672 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Got "papers"? - Nurse Stasi

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 23:47 | 4081766 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Also, notice the 'devil horn' hand sign from the guy on the right...




Not to mention, why are the shoes of the guy in the air German, i.e, Adidas...why not American i.e, Nike?

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 00:18 | 4081823 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

...and I think the guy in the middle is getting setup for the Beer Enima...he has the injector in his mouth.

Its not clear drunken students going over rocks or rope climbing will lead to 'safe behavior'.

Paying $500/month for insurance is at least 5 kegs a month...down the drain.  

EMPTY KEG plan ?

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 00:23 | 4081829 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Considering the history of the ChoomMiester, these guys will provide a leadership improvement if the country is still around in 15 or 20 years.

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 01:26 | 4081902 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Sure, country is be around, but citizenry is speak mish mash Spanish and Chinese like Blade Runner.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:41 | 4080478 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Subsidy is a joke anyways - most plans have a $6,000 and above deductible.  So you get pay for insurance to pay more for healthcare.  There is even a substantial deductible on prescription meds.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:40 | 4080930 negative rates
negative rates's picture

They made something so compilcated they can't figure it out themselves.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:08 | 4081020 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Cloward-Piven School of Engineering.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 19:48 | 4081266 Abi Normal
Abi Normal's picture

You can thank the Lucifarian Alynski for most of it...Fabian Socialist, another in a long line of idiots.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:23 | 4081075 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

$6000? WTF? My wife (we live in Australia) pays $1300 per year for full coverage, and when she went into hospital for a pregnancy related operation, our version of Medicare paid the $250 hospital deductible required to the insurance company, and we didn't have to pay anything at all. It was all covered by our insurance. Additionally, if she needed to go back in again during the year, she wouldn't have to pay the $250 deductible because you only pay it once a year if you go to hospital one or more times.

US sick care is fucked.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:56 | 4081143 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

US sick care was deliberately screwed up so our Government could fix it and keep fixing it forwever..  That's how it works over here lobbyists and Congress screw the pooch till its completely messed up then they fix it...  By the way how do the Aussies like the fact htat Americans pay for nearly all development of new drugs?  Nice huh..

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:04 | 4081301 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Does AUS have socialized healthcare?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:39 | 4081364 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

We do, and it's not a bad thing. The way it works here is that anyone that earns an income over a certain threshold (which I can't recall at the moment) pays a 1.5% tax (based on income) each year when you file your taxes. The tax has some conditions on it based on private health insurance coverage, length of coverage etc.

This then allows all Australian citizens, temporary & permanent residents (on the appropriate visas) to use the public health care system. If you need to see a doctor for a check up, you see the doctor, swipe your Medicare card and then leave. If you need to go to the hospital (a public hospital) as an emergency patient, your visit will be covered by Medicare. Medicare only covers essential services though. Medicare isn't designed to leave people out of pocket, or without health care. If you want extras however, that's what private health insurance is for.

For a better idea of what is covered, and what isn't, go here:

That page shows the differences in Australia between coverage provided by private health insurance, and Medicare.

To give some additional insight, my wife is a US citizen, and has worked in hospitals for years in the US. When she needed to use the Australian health care system for the first time, she kept asking where the bill was. I explained that because everyone pays in, everyone gets to use it whenever they need it. It might sound like some crazy socialist idea, but it works really well.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:11 | 4081313 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

I'm guessing most of those that take prescription drugs most likely have no idea of that. Are you inferring that ALL Americans pay for nearly all the development of new drugs (through subsidies paid through taxes), or just those that consume the pharmaceuticals pay for them?

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 03:18 | 4081987 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Both, the research on this is easy and a well known fact here.  We are a captive audience to our well connected pharma lobbyists.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:16 | 4147452 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

Even if you believe that you're qualified for a subsidy, taking it is risky.  My understanding is that the subsidy for a given year is a function of your adjusted gross income for that year. 

A 2014 AGI that turns out to be higher than your estimate may be high enough to exclude you from the subsidy that you already filed for at the beginning of 2014.  IIRC, you'd have to repay it immediately + interest + penalty.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 19:01 | 4081163 monkeyshine
monkeyshine's picture

Plus what's this I hear about $6000 and $8000 annual deductibles on the subsidized plans?  Sort of defeats the purpose as it was presented to the American people. What a freaking con.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:02 | 4080400 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Whatchu mean I'm the baby daddy, ho?

Sheeet, gonna' go get me sum BroSurance. You seen my Vodafone?

300,000 Floridians suddenly lose their health insurance, btw.

"Leading up to the congressional vote on Obamacare, President Obama told Americans, “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.” This promise that Obamacare would not force anybody off their preexisting insurance plan played a central role in Obamacare messaging and the bill’s razor-thin passage in the U.S. Senate."

-and -

Record 90,609,000 Americans Not In Labor Force, Employment Among Women Hits 24-year Low, Economy ‘stalling’


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:19 | 4081059 fourchan
fourchan's picture

you mean the government has never created any jobs? they only consume from the productive you say?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:25 | 4081331 Element
Element's picture

Look on the bright side, the downside is only 20% of GDP, and Obama-care is staffed by consumate professionals dedicted to the highest standards of Govt servicing, accountability, and fairness. It's world's-best-practice.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:41 | 4081372 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yeah, like Wade Rathke, what could possibly go wrong?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:46 | 4081379 Element
Element's picture

loved the bible study down the page, ya knew that would come in handy one day lol

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 21:33 | 4081487 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Don't let it get out...I'll be ruined ;-)

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:55 | 4080308 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

..... and the website listed in the first pic doesn't even display correctly.  Classic.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:33 | 4080688 knicks3005
knicks3005's picture

The pregnant guy is George Zimmerman. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:47 | 4081121 Dr. Destructo
Dr. Destructo's picture

Looks like more like Chris Christie

The nose, the double chin, skin complexion, and the eyes are similar.

Just dye the hair and grow it out, slather the lips generously with lipstick, and pluck the eyebrows and you got one fabulous governor.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:27 | 4080196 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Keg stands for freedom! Keg stands for democracy! Keg stands for murrrrca!

(still speechless from the first picture)

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:07 | 4080353 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

And to think, I voted for Honeybadger Care. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:04 | 4081004 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Honeybadger used to not give a fuck because he wanted to.

Now he can't afford to.

Obama care is here and no fucks will be given.

The fucks are priced in.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:08 | 4080828 SDShack
SDShack's picture

"Hold ma beeer.... gots to enroll me in some 0zer0care!"

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:45 | 4080276 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, this would be epic.  But, damn.  Americ is fucked as most can't spell "infringement".

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:22 | 4080401 booboo
booboo's picture

Shiit, milk producers are so far up obama's ass they even have their own federal armed thugs shooting up organic milk operations.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:38 | 4080705 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Those lazy mutherfuckers.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:22 | 4080168 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture


"When my baby is sick my first question is what's my doctor's number, not can I afford a doctor."

No colon, no question mark, no quotation mark, and... "not can I afford a doctor."

fucking amazing these lazy assholes

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:27 | 4080200 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

Not lazy, merely illiterate...

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:43 | 4080264 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

"Not lazy, merely illiterate..."

Your government at work.....

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:24 | 4080410 tsx500
tsx500's picture


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:15 | 4080603 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

They gots to makes it easy for their peoples to understands.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:51 | 4081131 bread n circuses
bread n circuses's picture

Grammatically, I don't like the whole "Got whatever?" ad campaign but it has become so ubiquitous in pop culture I kind of gloss over it...but to name the website "Do you got insurance?"  Now that just pisses me off.


I'm not a grammar Nazi...I'm an English language enthusiast. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:19 | 4081326 Artifice
Artifice's picture

Agreed. When I hear someone say 'Do you got <something>?', my answer is usually no. It's always no if they want to axe me something pacifically.


This? This is a fucking nationwide federal campaign, allegedly thought up by smart people - looking at me over a beer keg with a slack jaw 'axing me if'n I's gots the health insurances'.

Sorry 'Bama, your solution is just another problem that doesn't know how to solve itself.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:35 | 4081353 Element
Element's picture



"They gots to makes it easy for their peoples to understands."


Exactly, that is what's going on, the people are stupid, so let's speak stupid to them else they will not get this. The keg and beer-swilling yobbos are actually required, to bring attention to the simplistic and stupefied message, fit for a yobbos mind. Using propaganda to motivate the masses to govt policy has has always been approximately this crude and low-brow.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 21:07 | 4081432 nmewn
nmewn's picture

No doubt.

I don't listen to Hannity but today I happened to be surfing the radio (after I lost Ten Years After in the middle of Change the World, how on my long drive home and caught this sweet, naive, earnest, helpful voice on the radio and I stopped on it.

Because of her voice...not his.

And I listened, as she was instructed how to answer him, by a voice behind her...her supervisor or this was off the script that she had been prepared to give everyone.

I was instantly transported back in time, it was like the Soviet Union over there so many years ago...except here.

So I plugged in a CD ;-)

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 23:09 | 4081692 Element
Element's picture

Choice! Here's one more for our times.

We're on a time jaunt today

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:15 | 4080602 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Don't understand what happened -- we made sure to have the software developers double-check the ad copy for typos.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:47 | 4081122 AGuy
AGuy's picture

"Don't understand what happened -- we made sure to have the software developers double-check the ad copy for typos."

"All your Healthcare are belong to us!"


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:01 | 4080330 Flagit
Flagit's picture

ive always had a bad habit of correcting others english. it was recently brought to my attention that they no longer teach diagramming sentences in high school english class.


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:32 | 4080901 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Are you attempting to bait someone? LMAO.


They did not teach "Sentence Diagramming" in my Private High School Grammar classes.


However the Public Schools in California covered that procedure when I was in Fifth Grammar School.


They are not supposed to be teaching "Sentence Diagramming" in High School English. That would be only be offered as a remedial class for the dullard.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:24 | 4081076 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

California should have taught reality diagramming.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:12 | 4081315 phaedrus1952
phaedrus1952's picture

Optional course, taken, apparently, by very few out here.

BTW, for all of you that didn't read Bruce Krasting's Oct. 8 piece - Me and ACA, you missed seeing a World Exclusive Picture, at the bottom, of a tanned, beach-attired Valerie Jarrett herself.

Civil Servant Jarrett is magnanamously conveying - using Universal Sign Language for the Hearing Impaired -  the Obamascare toll-free help/hotline.   

You all should check it out.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:40 | 4080718 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 Not lazy, merely illiterate...

Damn right. These people put endless amounts of effort into working out how to part others from their money.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:36 | 4080233 Problem Is
Problem Is's picture

ACORN got a federal grant to produce the marketing...

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:52 | 4080299 jcpicks
jcpicks's picture

Editing is tough.

Can't even spell Instagram to appeal to those Social Media aficionados (Instragram).

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:52 | 4080301 jcpicks
jcpicks's picture

Editing is tough.

Can't even spell Instagram to appeal to those Social Media aficionados (Instragram).

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:36 | 4080697 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

 But not at tough as stopping you from pushing that fucking button just one more time.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:39 | 4080472 Thisson
Thisson's picture

You are incorrect.  She has made no error.  Her sentence is a statement and is not a question. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:01 | 4080505 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Here's a statement and not a question: My wife is looking for work. I advised her to stay away from healthcare. She asked 'why?'. I told her that all medical practice and hospital financials were based on the prior insurance models. When these newly shorn sheep get their monthly ZeroCare bill and review the deductables, they will realize that they can't keep self refering for medical care anymore. They can't afford to pay the upfront costs in part due to the fact that they are being eaten alive by the monthlies. So, the cash flow that WAS dependable prior to Year Zero(Care) will dry up as quick as a dew on a hot summer morning...ziiiip!

BTW an additional effect will be the destruction of medical practice in the US. Newly minted Docs, whose debt load is sky high ALL started their educations with the prior insurance/payments environment in mind. These newbies and the most recent crop of practicing physicians are going to go bancrupt almost immediately.

My estimate is that this will hit the pocket books and alter the behaviors of the general population as much as $6-$10 per gallon gasoline - absolute devastation will ensue.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:47 | 4080738 czardas
czardas's picture

Recently in UK with $9-10/gal gas.  LOTS of bikes, public transport, electric, etc  Anyone with an atom of sense knew costs would soar for insurance by not only adding the (25/30/35/40) million uninsured but also all those with pre-existing conditions.  Only once (in 30 years) did our bills equal our insurance costs - lucky I guess.  But the addition of diabetes, drug treatment, cancer, etc dramatically raises the overall costs and thus the price.  

Loved the furious guy at Daily Kos after he and his wife received enormous premium raises.  "It wasn't suppose to be like this."  LOL  And of course, all this is funded with debt. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:15 | 4080850 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Yes, UK and Euro gas prices are 75% taxation pure and simple. So, $10/gallon gas is really $2.50 gas cost and $7.50 tax costs.

In the US they usually add a road tax (based on each state's formula) which amounts to between $0.25 and $.50 per gallon.

The problem for the US is that the economy is based on cheap gas costs. Once we hit the $4/gallon price point then the "Consumer" goes into a coma, stops traveling, stops buying, stops all discretionary spending.

At $6/gallon you can immagine the mayhem, $8 or $10 we are talking Armagedon.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:18 | 4081324 phaedrus1952
phaedrus1952's picture

Plus suppliers' transportation/delivery costs skyrocket leading to both higher end prices and increasing spot shortages.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 21:50 | 4081520 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Well, my take is that the recent fall in gas prices will continue (not including the risk of geopolitical 'events'). Crude is not being bid because the more sophisticated economic actors are starting to impliment their Play Books related to the impact of ZeroCare on the US working class (reduction in hours, increased Ins premia costs to the worker, far higher deductables). They have ball parked the collapse in demand at the retail pump. This has been my first real world macro indicator that the big brains understand the problem. Business is not a "hope and change" affair. The eco/fin/operations/actuaries have checked their lists to find that ZeroCare will be very naughty for them, coal in stockings all around. They "do" calculators.

Monthly retail gasoline sales has gone below 25 million gallons per month now. The trend is extremely negative rate of change. That will become very much further negative slope in the next 2-4 months.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:53 | 4080771 Freddie
Freddie's picture

My friend went in to the doc for something.  There office is at the local hospital.  He said all the nurses were Obama voter types.  It is only going to get worse.  Blame Dem f**k voters, O, Reid, Pelosi and RINOs like MCCain. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:15 | 4080783 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Your hatrid is an inspiration to us all. Rock on Freddie! ;-)

BTW way I approve of Freddie's message! So, give me the much covetted UP arrow you bastards!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:35 | 4080693 czardas
czardas's picture

Hate to rain on your parade but a question mark is never used in a statement.  Example.... That guy was yelling, "Who in their right mind voted for Obamacare".  Although I am sure the ad was correct by accident.  LOL   This is like TVA which advertises although it is the only power supplier in the area - use up all the funding.  

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 12:09 | 4082913 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Actually, in MLA format, we use both if the q is part of the statement. The q mark goes inside the quote; the period comes after.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:55 | 4080780 ajax
ajax's picture



Oh please. Read 95% of ZH comments and then complain about spelling, grammar, punctuation.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:28 | 4081086 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Your crazy!  Their's no errors in ZH comments!

And you're avatar is ugly to!


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:23 | 4081334 phaedrus1952
phaedrus1952's picture

And hiz mama wheres armee bootes!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:21 | 4080864 AZLagun
AZLagun's picture

You are correct but I think the target audience for this one is your typical inner city woman with only the Government as her babydaddy.

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 12:06 | 4082902 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

no colon needed

sick, my--need comma

is "What's

number," not "Can

needs caps

doctor?". qmark and period

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:16 | 4080143 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Whitey will pay.

  Don't we always?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:19 | 4080160 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

I see no Asians were targeted in these 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:26 | 4080191 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Are illegal aliens forced to "enroll"?

  One of the many questions the faggoty left does not want to answer.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:34 | 4080450 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

And if not, what is involved to become an illegal alien?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:37 | 4080704 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

If you have to ask the question, then you don't qualify.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:45 | 4080696 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

"Are illegal aliens forced to 'enroll'?"

No, they will continue receiving free healthcare, free food, free housing, free money, and free schooling. Did I forget anything? Oh, wait. Obamaphones!

Obamacare Tax Exemptions

  1. undocumented immigrants
  2. Native American tribes
  3. incarcerated individuals
  4. members of certain religious groups (code for jews?)
  5. people whose incomes are so low they don't have to file taxes
  6. people for whom health insurance is considered unaffordable

Obamacare Tax Rates

2014 - $95 per adult (half per child) or 1% of household income

2015 - $325 per adult (half per child) or 2% of household income

2016 - $695 per adult (half per child) or 2.5% of household income

Beginning in 2017, the tax rate will be adjusted for inflation.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:56 | 4080877 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

You left out an exemption - which some of us might actually find rather IMPORTANT

USC Title 26 Subtitle D Chapter 48 Section 5000A (d) Applicable Individual (3) Individuals not lawfully present

I actually did the read the damn bill to find that...

which then ties to

(f)(4) Individuals residing outside United States or residents of territories
Any applicable individual shall be treated as having minimum essential coverage for any month— (A) if such month occurs during any period described in subparagraph (A) or (B) of section 911(d)(1) which is applicable to the individual, or (B) if such individual is a bona fide resident of any possession of the United States (as determined under section 937(a)) for such month.

And then cross reference the light reading that is the internal revenue code...

But since I get out of both the Social Security Ponzi scheme and the Obamacare scam it's worth thousands of pages of reading to legally say F UCK-YO.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 17:33 | 4080902 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

@Tim: "Obamacare Tax Exemptions"


  1. undocumented immigrants
  2. Native American tribes
  3. incarcerated individuals
  4. members of certain religious groups (code for jews?)
  5. people whose incomes are so low they don't have to file taxes
  6. people for whom health insurance is considered unaffordable

That's it!  I'm starting a new group of Believers under #4!  Given how many different types of "Believers" there are in the US, this seems 100% fair.  You think I'm kidding?  I'm NOT!

We'll call ourselves "The Chosen Ones of El O'Him", and consider ourselves as a "Persecuted, Endangered Species" of religious believers, who "believe Religiously that we are being persecuted into extinction". 

Those who "Want to Believe" and wish to join as Chosen Brothers and Sister in El O'Him, and are ready to "Beam Up", can contact me at my handle (Kirk...) at hush mail.  History shows that those who are Chosen or Called early, are chosen or called best.  For they are enlightened and shall be blessed.

Chosen Kirk out.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:22 | 4081068 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

On exemptions for Religious Groups...


Members of Religious Groups that rely upon Faith Based Healings, as the members of the Church of Christ, Scientist, will not have to pay for care that they will not use.


If you want to avoid Obama Care you can always become a member of the Church of Christ, Scientist, whether or not, you truly ascribe to their beliefs. But of course if you get sick it will be expected that you seek a Faith Based Healing. So do not expect emergency appendectomies, or, the repair of Broken Limbs.


Christ is the Great Healer after all.


I would not attempt to Fraud the Government out of taxes using this method. The Book of Romans declares that you are to pay your due taxes.


Karma is a bitch, especially for those whom will mock God.


No God is not an Imaginary being as the atheists proclaim.


They are betting on an infinitesimal chance that He does not exist. There are overwhelming odds for God's Existence. My favorite Science joke proves it. Watch this then read the rest...


Believe it or not the laws of Quantum Mechanics to which the joke refers is VALID SCIENCE. If it is unreasonable to believe that the girl would materialize out of nothing then how much more unreasonable is it to expect that an entire Universe materializes from a mere circumstance of CHANCE?


Well if the Universe did not manifest as a "Chance Happenstance" then it must have materialized from Design. One cannot have just "a little Design in Chaos". At that point there is some ORDER. It is like a girl being a little bit pregnant...Either she is Pregnant, or, she is not.


Likewise it happened by chance, or, it was Designed. Since it happened by Design, and the odds are overwhelming that it did, there must be a Designer, who I call Almighty God.


I only have an Infinitesimal Chance of being wrong. But I don't bet on long odds. It is not that I dress in a pressurized suit daily for the possibility that I might materialize on the Planet Mars. It can happen. But I would not bet on it. In fact it is far more likely for that event to happen than the Universe spontaneously manifesting itself by chance.


You can do as you please. That is the only commandment in the Satanic Bible. "Do what thou will." You have that FREEDOM. I will even die to protect it. But I just do not ascribe to it.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:31 | 4081091 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

These are not 'my due taxes'.

If Jesus had said to me "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's",

I would have told him:

"The picture is Caesar's.  The gold is mine."


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 19:13 | 4081166 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

First Jesus asked, "Who's inscription is on the coin?", before he gave His answer. You'd be amazed at the attitude of Jesus towards taxes. That is not the only reference. It was rather...revolutionary. But it was aimed at peace.


Caesar only appears on the Fiat Currency used by the Muppets.


Liberty appears on US Gold and Silver Coins.


I suggest using that as I pay my dues to Liberty.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:21 | 4081328 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"You'd be amazed at the attitude of Jesus towards taxes."

Really? You deign to know Jesus' attitude toward state pillaging?

"That is not the only reference."

Perhaps you'd like to share another.

The passage reads...

12 And they sought to lay hold on him, but feared the people: for they knew that he had spoken the parable against them: and they left him, and went their way.

13 And they send unto him certain of the Pharisees and of the Herodians, to catch him in his words.

14 And when they were come, they say unto him, Master, we know that thou art true, and carest for no man: for thou regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth: Is it lawful to >>>give tribute<<< to Caesar, or not?

15 Shall we give, or shall we not give? But he, knowing their hypocrisy, said unto them, Why tempt ye me? bring me a penny, that I may see it.

(This is your half quote...)

16 And they brought it. And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription? And they said unto him, Caesar's.

17 And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marvelled at him.

I'm saying my body is mine, not Caesar's or Obama's or yours or Bloombergs and my soul is God's.

You will also observe, the money does not carry Obama-Caesar's "inscription" clearly says Federal Reserve Note...a bankers note...and not backed by gold or copper and has nothing to do (in the context of the passage) with taxes.

Its talking about tribute.

Tribute IS NOT taxation as you (and others like you, colloquially describe). Tribute is extracted from a conquered people under threat of penalty, fine, violence or death.

And what led up to thieves & murderers speaking to Jesus of Caesar's precious coin?

But those husbandmen said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and the inheritance shall be ours.'

And they took him, and killed him, and cast him out of the vineyard.

Same as it ever was...molon labe.

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 19:43 | 4084555 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

It really does come down to the particular version as well. The NIV states "imperial tax" in place of tribute (from the King James version), which puts a different slant on the message. You can switch versions of chapters on to see the differences.

15 Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. 16 They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax[a] to Caesar or not?”

18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? 19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, 20 and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

21 “Caesar’s,” they replied.

   Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

22 When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 19:03 | 4081169 Twodogs
Twodogs's picture

You're talking Pascal's wager, which is essentially that betting on god costs little (or nothing), as opposed to betting against god which has no upside. It's a game anyone can play!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:29 | 4080203 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  I see no Asians were targeted in these 

How many Asians are in Colorado?   I think it's mostly white and a smattering of "those people".

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:00 | 4080313 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

No African Americans, either.

But let's face it: It's the Boulder "I'll be a climber and skier on government assistance" mentality of spoiled white kids that's the driving force of progressive Colorado.\

I witnessed the same crew in Vermont.  Guys that would spend their summers with Dad using welfare to climb out west...  Ski during winter.  

And naturally they'd vote for Bernie "I'll confiscate someone else's wealth via the Senate for you to be a lazy ass" Socialist Sanders each election.


"Hey, dude... Which way's the Gonjala?"

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:26 | 4080417 lickspitler
lickspitler's picture

Fuck you Bernanke !

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:54 | 4080774 underman
underman's picture

Who do you think is needed to make Obamacare work??  Young, fit, active white guys.  They're the ones who come with lowest risk!!  They need to be sucked into this system to cover all the risk!!!!!  Fucking marketing.  This really is like a bad dream.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:33 | 4081096 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

So isn't it a bummer that they have set up a system of websites that only the truly desperate are motivated enough to navigate?

Tee hee.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:25 | 4080643 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I see no Asians were targeted in these 

Actor Rob got placed in two different ads -- clearly the main targeted demographic is purple-shirted metrosexuals with intentionally bad hair.

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 03:23 | 4081993 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Asians, sheeit they too busy studyin bro..

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:46 | 4080277 gaoptimize
Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:19 | 4080617 Zombie_Economics
Zombie_Economics's picture

Yes, part of what I meant by getting zombie fucked in an earlier remark.  Guess now some may see it.  HA!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:09 | 4080105 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

These are gay guys right?

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:13 | 4080125 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Left Leg Keg Stand Gay Bro actually crashed his bike too. 







This is what happens.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:19 | 4080156 This just in
This just in's picture

THe otha one is the club med golfer. 


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:25 | 4080180 Osmium
Osmium's picture

I'm pretty sure one of them got the gal on the bottom knocked up too.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:46 | 4080709 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

They'd call that immaculate conception if she is supposed to be a Latina. Ejaculate conception is more like it though.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:46 | 4080711 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:18 | 4080148 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

It's cool if you like to f@ck guys, I have friends that F@ck guys..... in Jail.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:09 | 4080106 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture



Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:38 | 4080248 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

A fiscal cliff..???

William Bonzai, do you have some new ads, sir..??

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:15 | 4080360 AL_SWEARENGEN

Yeah Bonzai,, make an STD related one,, would be great.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:26 | 4080420 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

If the government made me buy a $300 monthly health insurance policy when I was 27 (young and healthy) I would have completely freaked out and probably become a FARC guerrilla - this is SOOOOO STUPID.

Hell I didn't even want to pay for auto insurance when I was 27.

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 03:10 | 4081979 underman
underman's picture

When these frat bros come out of college with $500 student loan payments, no job prospects, how the f#ck are they going to come up $350/month, after tax?  They will not...I repeat...will not sacrifice beer money to sign up for this garbage. 

90mill people are not in the labor force as of now.  You telling me these 90mill can afford $350/mo?  And in light of welfare cutbacks, making matters worse.

Yet this is mandated?  Sign up or ELSE!?  Ridiculous penalties!  There will be tens of millions of people in this country NOT paying the fines, because they can't afford the $2k/yr+ penalties.  After 5 years, the IRS is dishing out millions of $10k tax liens and zapping millions of back accounts?  Ya, this will end well.  


Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:13 | 4081037 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Where's the "bro's" in those pictures? Weird eh?"

lol...fucking Ping!...if you stand back and observe the "marketing plan", they always reveal themselves.

So what are we to take away from this remarkable, un-PC-like promotion from our current crop of social-fascists, that ObozoCare is, in fact razzzist, thinking the brutha's already have their "health care" via another venue...thus not THE targeted audience?

Or is this only meant to scare/cajole/intimidate the young & healthy non-blacks into parting with their hard earned cash?

I say yes to both questions, very revealing ;-)

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:44 | 4081116 ajax
ajax's picture



Just have a look at your own "health insurance" website. I am certain it's even worse than this. Who in the fuck invented the idea that your employer pays your health insurance America? Why don't you think about that for moment?. Grow the fuck up and figure it out - young men driving to and from keggers are even more dangerous than the "terrorists" you people are spending billions of dollars to subvert. In point of fact you are all subverting yourselves. Give us all a break with your fucking whining and the next time you break your arm or leg in an car crash or your wife risks dying in childbirth  go whine somewhere else because you have no personal health insurance.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 21:46 | 4081517 bubblemania
bubblemania's picture

Don't Drone Me Bro if I don't sign up.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:05 | 4080074 Steve in Greensboro
Steve in Greensboro's picture

The target audience for this is the average Obama voter, one standard deviation to the left on the IQ distribution.

It occurs to me that Obamacare is like the lottery -- a tax on stupid people.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:22 | 4080167 odatruf
odatruf's picture

Think of them both as entertainment. Expensive entertainment to be sure, but entertainment nonethelss.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:26 | 4080186 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

By looking at the ad, it becomes very apparent that Obamacare really needs the younger folks to make this thing work. This would be a good time to encourage the young/healthy among us to suck it up and avoid enrolling at all costs. Crash this unconstitutional monstrosity before it gets off the ground!!!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:33 | 4080228 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

"Chill" lingo, childish, simplistic layout and color scheme, sneakattack info grabbers like "hey, bitch, we'll need all the employment and income information of your family members"...

Yep. Any yute joining this shit is a traitor.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:02 | 4080335 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Or a dumbass sucka.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 14:56 | 4080310 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I was just wondering what they are going to do if most people just ignore this law en mass, which looks highly likely. Certainly, I can see no benefit for the younger folk. Massive civil disobedience looks like the way to go here, with jury nullification for anyone charged. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:08 | 4080357 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Welcome to Camp FEMA, scofflaw!!!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:22 | 4080405 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Civil disobedience along with starving the beast is the easiest way to slay our dragon. Its fairly low risk, completely nonviolent and extremely difficult to counter. Repeat after me - "I will not comply."

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:23 | 4080406 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Sorry, double post.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:40 | 4080474 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Will be required for admittance to the Zombie-safe zone (aka FEMA camp). No admittance without proper vaccinations and medical exam. And you WILL want in for 3 hots and a cot. The alternatives will be way worse.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:49 | 4080724 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I don't take vaccinations. I don't submit to medical examinations. Proper socialization never really took for me, and I just can't seem to get over or around that part of me that just says NO. It won't budge and is not amenable to logical argument. I think I will take my chances with the walking dead.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:36 | 4081102 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

There is a point where we all must say "No, I won't do that."

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 15:35 | 4080452 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

",...jury nullification for ,..."


Who gets a trial by jury anymore?

Instead they threaten you with indefinite detention if you don't plead down to 10 years.

At least that is how my jay walking charge went,...

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 16:48 | 4080495 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I didn't say it was entirely risk free, but in for a penny, in for a pound, I'll have my day in court if it comes to that and make sure it costs them plenty. 

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 19:39 | 4081255 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Unfortunately, that day in court most likely will be in an IRS Court, where citizens NEVER win.

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 20:55 | 4081400 Milestones
Milestones's picture

That my man is what everyone able should do. Many statews will grant a jury trial for paymwent of a small fee for misdemeanors. 

The whole thrust of this kind of action is to make the community aware by trial exposure, the idiocy of (not ours anymore) this government and the danger they themselves are in. Most people have no idea of what transpires in a "Court of Law"

This will be an eyeopener for many of our complacent neighbors. Just do it!!!!!!                        Milestones

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 18:03 | 4080995 KnightTakesKing
KnightTakesKing's picture

"Jury nullification..."

HA! Jury trials are so 20th century. This is the 21st century-- we just drone your ass!

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 21:08 | 4081434 Tapeworm
Tapeworm's picture

I gave you an up for your comment on how the parasites need a healthy host, but that is not how it will work out so much as the cohort of youngers are in a lousy job market.

 What if you are a honky single 25 year old female w/no bastard children, or any dependents. You make less than 12k/yr doing nursing/maintainence on old farts as it is the only thing available at this time. That puts you at the poverty level even if you own your house and car with no debts of any sort. You then are going to get the "silver" plan for $230/YEAR!

 The shit job market is depressing the wages for young people that tend to take most anything that is available rather than welfare. Most of you all know that hanging large increases of "insurance" premia on this group will not generate the cash that the maggots need to subsidize the AARP sucks.

 My daughter is the one described. Needless to say that she is learning that her old man's liberty fetish has some basis.

 I am agitating the younger persons in my employ to show them what they are being enslaved to support.

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