Tuesday Humor: New Normal Fundamental Analysis

Tired of reading 640 pages of "The Intelligent Investor"? Exhausted from imbibing 700 pages of "Security Analysis"? Fed up with the 400 pages of "The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money"? Have no fear, we have summarized the new normal's investing mantra into 14 words...

h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer

Comments

[holdbuysell]

Bernanke must giggle to himself everyday that the sheople buy the bs.

[CunnyFunt]

sheople? ffs, i think they left the building with elvis.

[F-Tipp]

most people couldn't tell you what math is, let alone a function

[CrazyCooter]

School House Tried "Function function, what's your function", but even PBS wasn't stoned enough to run it.

Regards,

Cooter

[The Joker]

conjunction junction what's your function

[Peter Pan]

You don't need math if you don't have a debt ceiling but you have a printing machine.

[HardAssets]

"most people couldn't tell you what math is, let alone a function"

math ?  are you kidding - - - - most people don't even know what the f*ck counting is

Just see how many clerks know how to count out your change nowadays - without the till or a calculator they dont stand a chance

[Freddie]

Did the Tylers come up with this equation?  Funny as hell, totally accurate and also sickening.  Hope & Change.

[juicyfruit]

lol....pretty sad really, lol

[SHEEPFUKKER]

BTMFATH and then tweet about it.....that is the new normal. 

[Spigot]

Let me simplify it to three words: "YOU ARE FUCKED!"

[CHX]

Simplifying even further gives you: F-ed.

[prains]

BTHOTBATH , Warren

[Goldilocks]

What is the classic definition of “BANK?”

What is the classic definition of “DEPOSIT?”

What is the classic definition of “RETARD?”

[Debugas]

BANK = credit distribution institution

DEPOSIT = investment loan

RETARD = bank depositor

[anonnn]

"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery."

I.e., "Annual income twenty dollars, annual expenditure nineteen dollars and fifty cents, result happiness. Annual income twenty dollars, annual expenditure twenty dollars and fifty cents, result misery."

H/T Dickens' Micawber

[deflator]

 It's all top down now so just stfu and btmfath like you were told. The people at the top have already discussed all of this and have decided that it would be best for you to btmfath. 

[s2man]

I must either be retarded, or I don't like those 'people at the top', 'cause I keep buying the beat down PMs.

[SWCroaker]

My mother finally admitted to dropping me head first as a baby.   Often.

I suggest u have a heart to heart and see if she's ready to come clean...

[zorba THE GREEK]

Croaker, you think getting dropped on the head is bad, when Zorba was 13, his parents

signed him up to be 'cabin boy' on a Greek Vasoline tanker.

[deflator]

Your level of intelligence is irrelevant, you just don't buck the system when you are in a captive environment. The monetary authorities are like prison guards and they want to punish anyone who gets out of line and "thinks".

[merizobeach]

Escape your prisons, bitchez.

[DOGGONE]

Seriously! Our track record is dominated by "The Public Be Suckered"
http://patrick.net/forum/?p=1230886
and this is kept out of sight! Because 'education' and 'journalism' behave as four letter words ...

[stocktivity]

I'll summarize it in 3 words...It's all Bullshit!!!!

[OldE_Ant]

Two.  BULLISH IT!^TM

[ebworthen]

Brings to mind Einstein's definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

"Is there any wine left in that bottle?  Pass it over here."

[Au]

Nailed it

[Atomizer]

BTFATH- Gilded Age Edition

Hayek's 'The Road to Serfdom' in Five Minutes

:)

[thewayitis]

  If QE forever then Equities = Bubble

[ChaosEquilibrium]

Did someone "unplug" the DXY???:)

[wisehiney]

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."   Einstein

He must have met oBUMMER weasel's mother.

[chump666]

The Fed are dumb

[Randoom Thought]

LOL ... not really. Reminds me of the quote from Rick Moranis as Darth Helmet: "Evil will always win because good is dumb". Which is also not true. A more accurate statement is: "Evil is evil and good is good. One cannot expect good to be evil or evil to be good"... and yet both exist for a reason.

[chump666]

The Fed are not evil pe se, I mean, they are egg heads and stupid at the same time.  Wall Street hustled them i guess they could be considered evil. Good is complacent, that is your problem, it's too wound up with it's insignificance.  In other words there shouldn't be a Fed, Obama should not be president and Greece, Italy and the rest of the peasant countries should be out of the EU.  No quagmire wars with drones, no cops dressed up like paramilitary etc etc etc etc.

Essentially we have all allowed this to happen so your good and evil is a paradox, as i have said many times;  we are a f*cking cosmic joke, alien invaders are just sitting back sipping mean brews...waiting for our bullsh*t to reach a crescendo.

[acetinker]

Chump, not just everybody knows what an egg-head is, on ZH.  So, to clarify: An egg-head is an academic.  An egg-head is a person who knows by rote the theory of his/her particular field, but has no practical knowledge of it, whatsoever.  I say this because awhile back I was hauled to the woodshed for saying that I've worked alongside physicists who were egg-heads.  Doesn't matter the field of endeavour.  Egg-heads exist in all realms and are, by virtue of pedigree alone regarded as "experts".  Doesn't matter if they couldn't pour piss out of their boot if the instructions were on the heel.  They're experts.

I like Einstein, though.  He had enough common sense to be able to communicate with non egg-heads.  His observation about WWIII and WWIV was prescient.  Still, even his "special theory" cannot be proven.  In egg-headdom, the inability to prove a negative is taken as a positive result.

Bernanke is another example of egg-headedness.  If you can't prove that QE hasn't been a success, then it must be.

The War on Terror is another.  Our "leaders" say that things would be so much worse if not for the courageous efforts of our armed forces/nsa/cia/fbi in cooperation with isi/mossad/mi6, but would they?  If told you that cows hide in trees, could you disprove it?

Oh, and that good vs evil thing;  It's analogous to the daylight/dark thing.  Put another way, it's like the poles on a battery.  They need each other.  One is useless without the other.  Would daylight be significant if there was no darkness?

This good/evil thingy is a human construct.  There's no such thing IRL.  It's just energy.  The problem is that most of what you and I consider evil (negative) energy is stored in the hands of the few, while the good (positive) energy is spread thinly among billions.  I blame religion.

[The Joker]

While I agree with almost everything you say...especially good/evil being a human construct, I have to say, no theory can be proven, only disproven.  Thus the creation of a null hypothesis...to disprove.  A null hypothesis is not negative, it is opposite.  The idea is to disprove the null hypothesis in order to gain evidence in support of the hypothesis, and if you can't it stands until someone else can.  I think, my interpretation, you are confusing negative and positive with proofs and disproofs, which is not relative.  It's not an inabilty to prove a negative.  One is trying to disprove the negative (null) and if they can't it isn't positive, it is just supported.  I also blame religion for good vs. evil.  stupid.

[acetinker]

Intellectually, Joker, you are of course, correct.  I was thinking more in terms of theory vs real world shit that actually works when I typed that.

Disclaimer:  No actual egg-heads were harmed in the formulation of this comment:)

[Flakmeister]

The wheels came off this puppy a long time before The Bernank...

I think the biggest problem was certain Ayn Rand acolyte who drank of that Koolaid a little too deeply...

Some can rightly argue that it was essentially over in 1970 when US oil production peaked and nobody came up with a new game plan so since then it has been different versions of extend and pretend....

BTW, Back then they didn't count volumetric gains from hydro cracked sludge from imported oil as 10% of  "domestic production"....

[trader1]

All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace 

In the first episode, Curtis tracks the effects of Ayn Rand's ideas on American financial markets, particularly via the influence on Alan Greenspan.

Ayn Rand was born in Russia and moved to America in 1928. She worked for Cecil B. DeMille, where she received inspiration for what would later became The Fountainhead. Later, she moved to New York and set up a reading group called The Collective where they considered her work. On advice from a friend, Greenspan (then a logical positivist) joined The Collective.

When published, although critically savaged, Rand's Objectivist ideas were popular and influenced people working in the technology sector of California. The Californian Ideology, a techno-utopian belief that computer networks could measure, control and self-stabilise societies, without hierarchical political control, and that people could become 'Randian heroes', only working for their own happiness, became widespread in Silicon Valley.

Rand entered into an affair with Nathaniel Branden, another married person in The Collective, which she proposed to justify in terms of her value of "rationality", and with the approval of his wife. After several years, the affair ended violently and it was revealed to the rest of The Collective, which broke up. Rand ended up alone in her New York apartment, although Greenspan continued to visit.

Greenspan entered government in the 70s, and became Chairman of the Federal Reserve. In 1992 he visited the newly elected Bill Clinton. He persuaded him to let the markets grow, cut taxes, and to let the markets stabilise themselves with computer technology, to create the New Economy. This involved using computer models to predict risks and hedge against them, in accordance with the Californian Ideology. However, by 1996, the production figures had failed to increase, but profits were nevertheless increasing; and Greenspan suggested that it wasn't working. After political attacks from all sides, Greenspan changed his mind and decided that perhaps the New Economy was real, but that it couldn't be measured using normal economic measures, and so the apparent boom continued.

In 1994 Carmen Hermosillo published a widely influential essay online, "Pandora's Vox: On Community in Cyberspace",^[4] and it began to be argued that the result of computer networks had led to, not a reduction in hierarchy, but actually a commodification of personality and a complex transfer of power and information to companies.

Although the Asian miracle had led to long-term growth in South Korea and other countries Joseph Stiglitz began warning that the withdrawing of foreign financial investment from the Far Eastern economies could cause devastation there. However, he was unable to warn the president, being blocked by Robert Rubin, who feared damage to financial interests.

The 1997 Asian financial crisis began as the property bubble in the Far East began to burst inThailand, causing large financial losses in those countries that greatly affected foreign investors. While Bill Clinton was preoccupied with the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Robert Rubin took control of foreign policy and forced loans onto the affected countries. However, after each country agreed to IMF bailout loans, foreign investors immediately withdrew their money, leaving the tax payers with enormous debts and triggering massive economic disasters.

After his handling of the economic effects of 9/11 Alan Greenspan became more important, and in the wake of the Enron scandal he cut interest rates to stimulate the economy. Unusually this failed to cause inflation. It seemed that the New Economy was working to stabilise the economy.

However, in reality, to avoid a repeat of the earlier collapse, China's Politburo had decided to manage America's economy via similar techniques to those used by America on the other Far Eastern countries; by keeping China's exchange rate artificially low, they sold cheap goods to America, and with the proceeds, had bought American bonds. The money flooding into America permitted massive loans to be available to those that would previously be considered too risky. The belief in America was that computers could stabilise and hedge the lending of the money. This permitted lending beyond the point that was actually sustainable. The high level of loan defaulting led ultimately to the 2008 collapse due to a similar housing bubble that the Far Eastern countries had previously faced.

Curtis ends the piece by pointing out that not only had the idea of market stability failed to be borne out in practice, but that the Californian Ideology had also been unable to stabilise it; indeed the ideology has not led to people being Randian heroes but in fact trapped them into a rigid system of control from which they are unable to escape.

[source]

[chump666]

That was f*cking wild!

[chump666]

It's us.  The Fed is a construct of us, it really is.  The egghead analogy is just that, their theories and academia allows them to justify the concept of a 'theory'.  Science is good, it re-tests itself to find that truth.  The problem lies with our inability to accept truth.  The Nazi's had pseudo science going, they paid scientist to tweak evidence in the favor of their crazy ideals.  Point is humans are corruptible.  The Fed is corrupt by it's blindness and egg head arrogance.  Einstein would call them insane.  Retesting the same failed concept over and over and trying to get a different result.  Pure madness.  Nothing is bulletproof and humans are flesh and blood that can on mass develop a psychosis.  I have faith in the people, we wake up eventually to the con and then we sharpen the guillotines.  We are 100% heading towards that, it's our attempt at redeeming our selfs for future generations.  Region is autocratic, it needs a hierarchy, so you have all those crazies claiming they are a vessel for god.  Hence they have us killing each other while the high priests sit above.  Yes, that is a major problem.

So maybe we might make it...maybe we won't.  It's up to us.

[acetinker]

It's complicated.  Almost everybody knows something is fucked-up.  Some lash out at the government, or more specifically one of the dominant "parties".  Some lash out at the Executive, even though he is just a pawn.

It really is up to us, Chump.  Somehow, maybe via ZH or some yet to be known venue, we peasants (the middle class) must organize a revolt against tax and usury.

Why do I feel like Bluto after he said, "Did we quit after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor"?

Solzhenitzyn asked; What if...?  What if, indeed.

[q99x2]

The Pelosi Paradox

If my personal net worth exceeds $200,000,000 and the money was stolen from the public will I be able to change the laws fast enough to keep from being prosecuted and thrown into prison?

Can it be proved that this seemingly infinite series ever reaches the wall?

[lasvegaspersona]

I wonder what would happen if politicians were released into the wild. I wonder if any could survive.

[Ms. Erable]

Depends on when hunting season starts.

[MayIMommaDogFac...]

Fucking logic roolz!

[Flounder]

Chuckle, chuckle...that is one of the good ones

[adeptus]

Ok, I'll bite... what does "BTMFATH" mean? I googled it, can't find any definition. Thanks.

[Mentaliusanything]

Near as I can figure - Buy the Mother Fucking All Time High.

But It should be "Buy The Nation Fucking all Time High... BTNFATH

[acetinker]

ZH sets the trend- again!

[disabledvet]

in actuality it's "the difference between a bid and an ask." the price you see on television is for short sellers...in markets like this buyers (floor traders) get a different "sale" rate..and depending on how much paper you're moving that difference can be HUGE...especially in a market like this. i would recommend a very good stock broker actually...and market officials should be pushing for as much transparency as possible. A "speculative blow off" can be just that..."a market wide blow out in the bid/ask spread" which if followed by some good economic news (500,000 job print...didn't get that today obviously) and "then its off to the races again." again prices for energy are tanking here. that says to me "super spike in the dollar dead ahead" with gold, silver, etc getting "re-annihilated." if so "buy on the dead cat bounce" cuz this looks more like a "happy cat trampoline" to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhO1X_HX7rc still looks kinda dangerous though.

[Reaper]

Einstein updated: Insanity is printing ever increasing fiat currency and expecting a different result.

[Randoom Thought]

What could possibly compel you to believe that they expect a different result? They are getting exactly the result they want.

[disabledvet]

this is Wall Street printing money not the Fed. We never had p/e's like this in the Great Depression...not even 30 years after the GD did we start seeing p/e's like this. here's the "gold standard" in p/e's actually http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Talking_Machine_Company (for CEO's getting squeemish here. stop talking down your stock price and talking up your business btw. the Fed has already popped the bubble...time to start pushing the product button to the MAX....start creating a "company within the company"...start talking spin off opportunities, synergistic m&a, "strategic investments"...you name it. most important is slapping a "WE'RE HIRING" sign on your store. the story line is pretty simple: "you're here for opportunity and we're it.") with "it" being ANYTHING. don't think salesmanship matters? well...here's a guy who begs to differ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXF0hBLLRV0 hmm. doesn't sound very complicated. what's the latest with Men's Warehouse you ask? http://stream.wsj.com/story/latest-headlines/SS-2-63399/SS-2-361526/ hmmm. "spurning a 2.3 billion dollar offer to be bought." I GUARANTEE I WANT MOAAR is apparently the new slogan.

[monad]

If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances. 

[nmewn]

Had to open it up, thought for sure it would say BS.

_{(Buy Stocks!!!)}

[Yen Cross]

  One day the participants in this "Bernaka'Palooza Fest" are going to wake from their (5 year)  hopium highs laying naked in a field on top of eachother with very sore assholes...

[hangemhigh77]

The Federal Ponzi Reserve is maintaining the Amerikan way......bombing women and children in foreign lands to liberate them. Providing security for the Amerikan people with steroid horse ignoramus cops beating the sht out of us.  TSA Stasi grabbing our nuts and knobs to ensure our safety.  Supplying us with food that inflicts us with disease so we can get to know every health "sick" care professional "psycopath".  Taking our money and telling us it's good.  And making sure there are no jobs so we don't have to work.  What a country.  When do the FUCKING HANGINGS BEGIN!!!???????????

[Hohum]

QE is merely a redistribution of claims on wealth.  Hate it, ignore it, or position yourself to take advantage of it.

[buckethead]

Please pardon my ignorance... BTMFATH=Buy the motherfucker all to hell?

[MayIMommaDogFac...]

as mentioned previously:

ATH == All-Time-High,

I think you've pretty much worked out the rest of it.

[chump666]

China selling.

Something to do with troubled banks in China article.  JPY crosses are getting smashed.  Shanghai down over 1%, awaiting that 2% crunch.   Can Yelland slam the 10yr under 2.5% while China liquidates?

That is the f*cking question

[d edwards]

Wasn't it Einstein who said insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?

We now have a bona fide insane economic policy.