Bloomberg "Poker Night On Wall Street" - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture

While commission-takers the world over attempt to dispel the fact that throwing your hard-earned money into the US equity market is absolutely not gambling, Bloomberg has decided that the time is right to relaunch "Poker Night On Wall Street." Hosted by Trish Regan, David Einhorn, Jim Chanos, and Mario Gabelli are among the top-ranked investors and hedge fund managers facing-off in a winner-takes all charity poker tournament at the Borgata in Atlantic City. By way of guidance, we include what investors and gamblers have in common...

 

Trish Regan introduces the tournament...

 

And what do investors and gamblers have in common...

 

An example with David Einhorn dominating from the big blind...

The Live Tournament...

 

 

Source: Bloomberg

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Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

That's a woman in the second video? She probably has a bigger schlong than that douche Dimon.

BrocilyBeef's picture

An advertisement just read:

"2 PEOPLE ARE SPYING ON YOU!"

I thought to myself,

"Damn, self, you're just not making enough of an impact."

zorba THE GREEK's picture

Poker night....Great, bring on Trish Regan, I'll poke her.

Disenchanted's picture

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear...

Was iCon there tweeting his hand?

nmewn's picture

Wall Street porn?

SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Who's going "all in" on Trish?

nmewn's picture

I was just thinkin, if they really are in a bind, to unload their stox onto ma & pa (cuz the magical money machine is slightly overheating) having Trish broke down like a shotgun on the edge of the poke-her table, in a T-Back, sure would give pa the incentive to raise ;-)

moonstears's picture

I see what you did there, haiku, right?

 

 

(/sarc...good stuff though!) 

cdm's picture
what ... they could not find it within them to make the game "Liars Poker" ? ... and do not tell me that there is no currency about with which to begin the game.
Croesus's picture

The Fed will have to print some up for them! 

Winston Churchill's picture

The game ' regulator' must have competing bribes.

Decisions...

LetThemEatRand's picture

For the dealer, every card is a wild card.  Place your bets.

moonstears's picture

...and 5 of a kind trumps all...make 'em play their own fuckin' game...Banking guru: "But, but I can't win if those are the rules!". Dealer: "Welcome to the middle class, bitchez!"

moonstears's picture

Trish Regan...yessss I would, twice, in case I forgot some tricks the first time! Oh, there's cards, too? Schweeet!

GMadScientist's picture

Who wants the over on one of these guys trying to find some 'consultants' to give expert network information about the other players' cards?

I'm "all in" on a "butterfly" on Trish's "convex volatility surface".

starman's picture

Blow me Trish blow me!

Hedgetard55's picture

Where is Steve Liesman in this? Oh, he is on that other financial network.

 

Word to Stevie: Get your tongue out of Pakalolo's ass so Reggie can get in there.

Trimmed Hedge's picture

Do you think Trish would let me stick my peepee inside her?

Trimmed Hedge's picture

I'll take that as a no... :(

ebworthen's picture

Trish, Trish, Trish.

"It's all for charity".

Oh sure, just like Wall Street, they care.

Doing God's work, and doing it "for the children".

disabledvet's picture

Walter P. Chrysler is laughing his butt off. Capitalism is a game? For him it was about greatness. The Very Noticeable Difference. They had issues beyond belief and stumbled onto forever. Elon Musk is trying on some very big shoes right now actually. We'll see how Nissan and KNDI respond.

NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

I guess Norman Chad was unavailable so they were forced to go with Trish Regan.

Larry Dallas's picture

Not really into the Irish chicks, but I'd like to put a map of Hawaii on her stomach...

Trimmed Hedge's picture

Mine would look more like Alaska...

Agent P's picture

Why does Bloomberg (probably the most robust and advanced financial software platform in the history of the world) have so much trouble streaming a simple two minute video? 

ItsDanger's picture

These guys would get destroyed against even semi-pro players.  Deck isnt rigged in poker.

RaceToTheBottom's picture

Wow, I remember the days that CNBC was the financial news organization that was ridiculed.

Has Bloomberg really fallen this much?

Himins's picture

Here's the game thus far:

All the wall street bankers are sitting at one end of the poker table, the general public at the other end. The cards are dealt. The senate walks around the table to inspect the cards. All the bankers holding anything but pocket aces, get new aces until all the aces are gone from the deck. If they run out of aces, the fed prints them some new ones.


The senate then inspects all the public's cards. Each hand must include one off suit 2 and a 7.

All the bankers get to tell each other what's in their hand, but if the public talks, all their chips are removed from the table, given to the bankers, and the person goes to jail.

Bets are then made, and because every banker has pocket aces, they go all in! 


So the Senate then imposed the Affordable Care Act tax and requires by law, that all the public also goes all in, while holding the poorest hands.


Then by complete surprise and well before the river card is turned, one of the bankers stand up and simply scoops up the entire lot, chips, cards, and any jewelry he can fit into his pockets. He splits the pot with his best friends on the bankers side of the table, mean while the remaining bankers complain about their dismal outcome and went broke on their all in bet, 

The senate asses the damage, then taxes the poor bastards on the public side of the table to make up for all the banks losses.


If any one of the public complains about the fraud, the bankers hire thugs wearing police uniforms, and orders them to spray health poison directly into their face like so many in the protest of Occupy Wall Street.


The banker who stole the entire lot, is ordered to face the Senate, where the senators have a chance to get all up in their face. Some times they are fined 10 chips for wiping out the global economy. Then required by law, to buy 6 huge banks with their ill gotten gains.


The bank still unsatisfied with his returns, appeals to the fed to print the difference in fiat dollars or extract these dollars from the new tax called obama care. Because there were not enough funds in the pockets of the entire globes working class, the fed just inflates the value of goods and services sold by the corporations owned by the bank,... plus a value added bonus, all the subjects children for generations to come are included in the cost of this repair bill.


The banker, now satisfied with his loot, selects the next president of the new world order.