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ObamaSpyPhone Caption Contest

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It appears that, just like The Hoff, BlackBerry is big in Germany...

 

And then this:

 

 

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Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:50 | 4085893 Looney
Looney's picture

First pic - "I think, I've just swallowed somepin"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:50 | 4085906 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Yes..., my refrigerator is running.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:56 | 4085925 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

"I gots me a free Obama phone, like everybody in Cleveland." 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:57 | 4085935 Looney
Looney's picture

Isn't "free Obama phone" a double-negative? ;-)

Looney

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:06 | 4085950 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

"I love me some Angry Drones. 
That shit be fun!

I be like blowin' zee mother fockers up."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:07 | 4085986 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

I sorry. No here Kruger.

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:27 | 4086093 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

I Just Got A Call From BaBa BOOEY ...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:12 | 4086338 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Funny picture of young Communist Merkel with one of those ancient huge portable phones by her ear

Article about her East German commie spy-days, Stasi codename 'Erika'

'Did Merkel Work for the Stasi ?'

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-317907

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:36 | 4086744 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Merkel : Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the greatest spy
of all ?

Mirror: You madam, you played off the Stasi while being KGB and all . And you yourself endorsed spying on all your subjects and still stand tall.

Merkel : Mirror mirror on the wall, but who would spy on me,
I`m your spying whore !

Mirror: You work for us, secrets no more.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:27 | 4087050 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Ist das nicht eine schnitzelfon?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 21:19 | 4088724 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

1st photo: "And for my birthday, The Kenyan sent me this crappy Chinese mp3 player with a Black Jesus logo on the front, preloaded with 5 hours of his favorite recordings of himself"

 

 

 

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:46 | 4087120 Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

Genius Genius Genius

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:28 | 4086096 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Second pic:

"I'm just going to pee in the bushes.  No one will see that I have a penis."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:28 | 4086098 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

Daves not here man.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:32 | 4086114 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

+1

Open up, man, I got the stuff

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:35 | 4086131 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Did he just say Seven years? Hopefully no one is listening!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:07 | 4086317 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

Merkel: "President Obama recall your Ambassador Emerson, I don't trust him!"

Obama: "Would it be okay if I replaced him with A. Weiner?"

Merkel:  "Put that in a Sext and I will consider your Weiner."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:52 | 4086526 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Merkel:

And I was pissed for Bush touching my shoulders

This guy spys on me when I piss

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:00 | 4086278 optimator
optimator's picture

OOOOpsi, ve forgot to paint vas on der tail!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:14 | 4086351 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

...sounds like the basis for a great iCrap game application!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:57 | 4086558 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

giving head to the drone that takes them off

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:51 | 4087138 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

A modern-day V-1 "Doodlebug." Quite a plaything.

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:01 | 4085956 Looney
Looney's picture

2-nd pic - Gérard Depardieu and Angela Merkel is the same dude! ;-)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A9rard_Depardieu

Looney

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:09 | 4086003 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Amazing that this person (Merkel) came from nowhere, with no real formal training or experience - to all of a sudden be the leader of the most powerful (one of) nations on this planet?

.

She really does look like she can pass for Hitler's daughter...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:38 | 4086121 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

That is what I'm thinking.  Frau Frumpy, leader of Deutschland?  She looks suspiciously like my neighbor-lady here in suburbia, who regularly needs my help getting her lawnmower started....

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:15 | 4086359 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Angela Merkel biography items, her apparently 'hidden' story  ...

Especially about her first husband Ulrich Merkel, supporting Angela while she was at university and then Angela leaves him, stealing the refrigerator in their apartment - because that was a super valuable item in the old East Germany!

Now there is a joke where Angela Merkel is said to have a giant collection of refrigerators inside a German warehouse

Plus the depth of Merkel's involvement as a loyal Communist till the Berlin Wall fell, then Merkel quickly spun 180 degrees, became pro-American ... her current husband, Joachim Sauer, apparently worked for the US Pentagon military-industrial complex in San Diego USA.

http://hat4uk.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/revealed-angela-merkel-rigid-seri...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:03 | 4086588 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Un-fucking believable!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:25 | 4086711 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I can understand if Blotto just repeats some myths, yet I expected a bit more from you. from memory:

"Angie" was co-leader of a grass-root political movement in East Germany called "Demokratischer Aufbruch". She had a post in the Lothar de Maiziere cabinet, the last government of the German Democratic Republic before Re-Unification with the "Bundesrepublik". I believe she was official speaker, or something

she also helped steer this "DA" movement to join the Christian Democratic Union instead of "The Greens"

now it's not that surprising that Chancellor Kohl choose her to be Minister in his cabinet, then she is: * a woman (yes, this matters sometimes, and you know it), * an Easterner (an asset, too, in a freshly re-unified country), * very intelligent, * politically very capable, * with a temperament similar to Kohl's, * a trained scientist

eventually she became Minister for the Environment, which includes responsibility for the security of all German nuclear plants (which she now as Chancellor wants to dismantle, btw)

and later she became the prez of the CDU, after the fall of Kohl

"out of nowhere" my hat. she did her political homework, from the bottom to the top

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 15:19 | 4087581 malek
malek's picture

The one thing that seems to indicate that is a mud-wringing exercise of article you refer to, is the "Ulrich Merkel supporting Angela while she was at university" bleeding heart line.

Most western readers will associate this with financial support in a country where mostly everything was on short supply.
But money played no prominent role there at all, it was the waiting times to get something (a car, maybe also a refrigerator, ...) that made it valuable to HAVE something.

So supporting would need to be spelled out a bit more to make the claim sensible as paying the minimal rent would not have been a big deal (Ulrich let her use his apartment/refrigerate/car even though lots of other women were also interested in those? /sarc)
- only taking the refrigerator might have been a true negative feat.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:39 | 4086158 swedish etrade baby
swedish etrade baby's picture

She was a physicsprofessor in East germany. Thats all i know

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:41 | 4086171 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

AS long as she keeps shaving the mustache no one will know.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:18 | 4086365 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I just pissed myself laughing.!!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:49 | 4086219 optimator
optimator's picture

Valter Ulbrich vas da first choice - but he died.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:11 | 4086331 DelusionalGrandeur
DelusionalGrandeur's picture

...and substituting the big o for the Frau, we get the same  results...isn't it ironic?....someone que Alanis.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:24 | 4086079 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

2nd photo  "Vlad where are you??  I'm waiting in our favorite place my liebchen"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:36 | 4086141 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Vlad: Gotta cancel - Have upgraded to hot young gymnast. 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:25 | 4086087 csmith
csmith's picture

who the hell freed Obama?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:56 | 4085939 Gen. Keith Alexander
Gen. Keith Alexander's picture

The President didn't tap Merkel.  It was me.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:47 | 4086195 optimator
optimator's picture

Ach!!  Der Schwartze can't nicht horen was ich saght an mein alte SchtasiPhone!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:55 | 4086242 RSloane
RSloane's picture

LOL!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:54 | 4087149 NewAmericaNow
NewAmericaNow's picture

Brought back by popular demand

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atJR91Kd0LY

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:04 | 4085977 drdolittle
drdolittle's picture

thanks gmr, classic deadpan

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:43 | 4086491 imapopulistnow
imapopulistnow's picture

I hear someone singing "Sweet Home Chicago" on my cell phone.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:56 | 4085937 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

A blond German Chancellor gets a new cell phone.

The next day she has a meeting with a former French President and her phone rings, so she answers it.

It was Obama. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"

She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was with Sarkozy?"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:15 | 4086035 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Actually...

All the phones are different. She's not making phone calls with a blackberry in those others pics.

Germany knew they where being listened and there are phones that they use when they want America to hear it and phones where America doesn't hear it.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:39 | 4086467 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

Yes.

And we have one President for when America can't hear him and another when America is forced to listen to him.

sic semper tyrannus!!

allah akbaaarrrrr!!!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:04 | 4086596 aerojet
aerojet's picture

It's funny that even world leaders are using burner phones nowadays.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:48 | 4086203 Wm the Shrubber
Wm the Shrubber's picture

Looks distinctly like Emporer Palpatine!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:59 | 4086269 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

I didn't realize they were going to snoop on all my calls when I got my obummer phone.....

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:48 | 4086513 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

first pic -  he just texted... "i know what you're thinking."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:20 | 4086681 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

third pic:

Mutti: "..and another shrubberie!

Obozo: "nope"

Mutti: "nein!" "nein!" "nein!"...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:17 | 4087000 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Dieser Ami Neger Arschloch hat meine Handy überwacht genau wie die Stasi.  

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:49 | 4085899 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Can you hear me now?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:15 | 4086031 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

All the pics......

Damn it......I've been on this fucking phone through four pictures......even on a plane....and I STILL can't sign up for Obamacare.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:36 | 4086138 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

Cue the "Downfall" parodies in 3... 2... 1...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:50 | 4085903 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

I didnt think i upgraded to the iTrojan

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:52 | 4085904 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

2nd pic, Obama drops in "yo white girl, lemme see you pull a Borat and shit in them bushes behind you... My girl Valerie gets off on that freaky stuff!"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:50 | 4085905 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

No more taking naked pictures of myself and sharing them with Wolfgang Schauble... :'-(

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:51 | 4085909 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Obama gifted me this phone, look at my happy face.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:51 | 4085914 BrigstockBoy
BrigstockBoy's picture

I wanted an Obamaphone and all I got was a rim job....

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:25 | 4086086 Confused
Confused's picture

I've been looking for freedom......

 

....and all I got was an Obamaphone. 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:51 | 4085915 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

What???! Who tapped my Obamaphone?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:54 | 4085924 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

i'mstupid........

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:54 | 4085926 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Frau is sad she doesn't have Snake on her phone

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:54 | 4085927 mtthw2
mtthw2's picture

The minutes on my Obama-phone just ran out.

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:56 | 4085929 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

First pic.  "Bwoke!  Whaaaa."

Second pi. "I said hossenfeffer, not Hasselhoff!"

Third pic. Guy, "Call daddy Oblahma maybe he can fix it?"  Merkel, "No he's a shithead."  both start laughing..

Fourth pic. "I really need my porn fix, where is that slap my behind Merkel site?!!"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:56 | 4086250 optimator
optimator's picture

"Alte Hosenbrümmer bin ich."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:58 | 4085930 Hughing
Hughing's picture

2nd pic "We're sorry, your call can not be completed as dialed. Please enter, NSA, and try again

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:00 | 4085932 moonstears
moonstears's picture

2nd pic. "Yes, operator. I am hiding in der bushes, outside der Building Burgers meeting Hotel somvare ..I'm in need of zee number for zee local "Beauty Salon"?! Hoping der can making me "beautiful"? Yes, I'll hold for number."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:58 | 4085942 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Goldman just offered to replace her phone

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:58 | 4085944 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

1-800-FUCK - ME

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:58 | 4085945 1835jackson
1835jackson's picture

All pics....We are not spying on you! Honest!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:59 | 4085946 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Pic 2 - Hello BND? Yes there's a creepy looking dude watching me from behind a hedge...no wait, just a mirror. Oops.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:59 | 4085949 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

This 1-800-fuck-you number is much more titilating than 1-800-fuck-yo.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 09:59 | 4085951 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

( 2nd pic.) Posing for elect Angela Merkel "Bobblehead" action figure...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:00 | 4085957 fasTTcar
fasTTcar's picture

I still want my gold back.

Can you hear me now?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:01 | 4085962 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Ah yes, that fucking jerk Obama, caught in a QE trap and outsmarted by both Putin and Rouhani. He'll be pulling the old snatching babies from innocent Roma families next.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:02 | 4085966 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

"Germany and France will be invading Amerika. Bombing will start in fifteen minutes".

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:02 | 4085970 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Someone has a saggy diaper that leaks - 1st photo

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:03 | 4085971 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Last pic..."Are we over the White House yet?"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:03 | 4085973 Chief_Illiniwek
Chief_Illiniwek's picture

Is Sarkozy attempting to cop-a-feel in picture 3?  I thought he had a babe back home...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:05 | 4085975 TrulyStupid
TrulyStupid's picture

Hello...Is that you Anthony? Your Weiner is so much darker than I remember.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:04 | 4085979 stant
stant's picture

i butt dialed you on purpose

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:07 | 4085987 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

booty call?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:05 | 4085983 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

"Ach!! Dat Anthony Weiner- I NEVER should have given him my number!"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:08 | 4085992 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

And if you believe that "Mutti" Angela Merkel was shocked by the revelations that our Government has been spying on her Country for industrial espionage and trade secret then I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.

If anyone wants the real reason why Germany, France, Mexico ,Brazil and all the rest for that matter are coming out of the wood work to condemn the U.S. Government over the NSA revelations it has absolutely nothing to do with spying and everything to do with a hollowed out once prosperous economy that no longer produces anything of value which includes of course aerospace and weapons technology which is always broken and riddled with maintenance costs and lack of quality controls.

The "cherry on top" and the only immediate one that matters is a continuously depreciating currency that ain't coming back until it decides to be responsible enough to wipe the slate clean by servicing it's debt obligations responsibly and follow...

The yellow BRIIC Road!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:47 | 4086202 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Everyone else is the devil in this world. There is so much shit going around and no one wants the blame, so its about doing what you can when you can to cast shit upon others. I'm pretty sure that all countries are running intelligence operations on everyone else. Those who are the most successful will be demonized, as they should be, but it is also hard to give credit to those who embraced the same goals only to fail.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:09 | 4086001 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

Ich Bin Eine Betrogene

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:11 | 4086011 Salt
Salt's picture

Blackberry. Dat be raciss.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:12 | 4086014 moonstears
moonstears's picture

pic 1: "Good people, yet again zee FED hast said "nein" to zee "Neo Mark" system, I swear! I just called!" 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:19 | 4086034 mtthw2
mtthw2's picture

1st picture:  I just ran out of Obama-phone minutes.

2nd picture: So let me get this right—If I shit in the bushes I’ll get more free minutes.

3rd picture: Sarkozy—You only had to shit in some bushes. You should have seen what they made me do.

4th Picture: You are the best engineers Germany has,  hack me more free minutes

 

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:17 | 4086043 Beau Tox
Beau Tox's picture

I had to kiss that black bastard, and now he's stalking me?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:17 | 4086044 moonstears
moonstears's picture

pic 3: "I'm back, Sarkozy just brushed mein boobie, I may haf to call you back later, vee are having zee break through in der meeting"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:18 | 4086054 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

Pic 2

 

I don't know, I searched behind every bush here. Are you sure this is where our Gold is? 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:18 | 4086055 TheProphet
TheProphet's picture

You didn't tap that... somebody else did.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:20 | 4086060 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Obama: "Turn that Frau upside down! If you Germans like your cell phones, you can keep your cell phones! Just log in to our new website and now receive free anytime, anywhere minutes."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:34 | 4086071 moonstears
moonstears's picture

pic 4: "Zat vas zee "Bingo"! Ahhgh, zis fucking game ist rigged!"

(while, of course, she should be paying attention to the on-going military exercise)

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:25 | 4086084 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

First thing I think of when I see that first Merkel pic:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:25 | 4086085 Milk Monk
Milk Monk's picture

Pic 1 - Selling cheap, 2nd owner.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:29 | 4086104 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

#1. No flash.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:30 | 4086108 aqualech
aqualech's picture

There it is again....that heavy breathing.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:33 | 4086123 Reaper
Reaper's picture

#1 Barack only listens, when I talk to other people.

#2 I hid the sausage in the bushes, so Barack can't find it.

#3 This is a secret between us.

#4 We've got to keep this from Barack.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:35 | 4086124 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:34 | 4086125 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

Mein Obamaphone ist nicht frei?

Mon, 10/28/2013 - 12:18 | 4097891 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Obama macht frei.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:35 | 4086134 LongPAU
LongPAU's picture

First pic:

Hey Guyss! Ze president of ze United States iss asking if I am varing undervare! He asks me to holt my phone to my knees so he cahn see!

How do I block zis guy? He iss creepy. I block heem and he keeps getting through anyvay.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:36 | 4086144 superflex
superflex's picture

Pic 1.

"I went to the Whitehouse and all i got was this crappy Obamaphone".

Pic 2.

"What do you mean?  I thought these bushes were made from copper and acted as a Farraday cage".  

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:47 | 4086169 Mercury
Mercury's picture

It appears that, just like The Hoff, BlackBerry is big in Germany...

 

Given the covert, surveillance and “black-opps” subject matter at hand here between these two particular heads of state there are any number of ripe puns hanging from this tree involving “Blackberry”.

 

But I am too much of a fucking gentleman to make them.

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:44 | 4086181 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

My new phone and it's got this great, convenient fingerprint ID feature!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:46 | 4086196 Wm the Shrubber
Wm the Shrubber's picture

First pic: Shades of Emporer Palpatine!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:48 | 4086198 F22
F22's picture

"Isn't free Obama phone a double negative?...."

No, just redundant....

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:50 | 4086220 Flounder
Flounder's picture

There is that tapping noise on my phone again.  What the hell is that?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:52 | 4086226 CHX
CHX's picture

M: So 'ne Scheisse, die sind ja noch besser als wir Stasis. 

 

 

 

in English: Darn, they even beat us Stasis.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:52 | 4086230 Jethro
Jethro's picture

"Schwartzer biite!"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:53 | 4086234 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

As she was nipples deep in the Stasi, I find it hard to believe she would be in anyway surprised. But of course the single biggest qualification that any of these world leaders has is their undying belief that they are smarter than everyone else. Even if they were, the unfortunate thing about corruption is that it is a team sport and as the star of the team you must still rely on the "little people" to carry out your enlightened goals.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 10:54 | 4086237 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Mein battery iz ded again.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:13 | 4086343 walküre
walküre's picture

Pretty funny...

Zer vil be Konsequenzes!

All humor aside. Can you trust anything an American politician says? Clearly not. When they spy on high ranking foreign leadership you bet your ass they're spying on each and everyone of their own people. Leadership, management, shift supervisors and so on.

Welcome to the "New Normal" in Obungaland. Now we all know why Apple is such a fantastic success story. NSA put the spy traps right inside each phone. Then they had to blow BB up and eliminate the biggest competitor in smart phones. How safe are Samsungs?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:27 | 4086414 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Samsung phones generally powered by CIA - Google Inc Android, as ZH Google shill Reggie Middleton keeps urging us to buy

Yes does seem like a 'hit' on Canada's 'independent security' BlackBerry

Karl Denninger ran several good pieces on how the new Blackberry was the best, most secure phone out there ... and ran much better with less strain on the battery and much longer battery life too

It was a 'hit' ... with the CIA's Google no doubt leading the way on search results for 'good phone products to buy' ...

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:56 | 4086553 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

What year will they notice the Blackberry hatchet-job? BB must be free of the open sesamee phone syndrome; nothing else fits the avalanche of social-uncoolitude and stage-hooks.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:28 | 4086732 walküre
walküre's picture

BB's were the big rage. Obama had one when he took office and remember the security drama then? Should have been our first clue. NSA couldn't secure Obama's phone. BB's encrypted pm service is best around bar none. Lenovo is in talks to buy BB patents. Lenovo is going to totally revamp the pricing in the smart phone and pc markets. AAPL is a goner in 5 years. Maybe HP can keep up in the pc market but doubtful.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:43 | 4086814 grekko
grekko's picture

Das friendship es kaput!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:13 | 4086344 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Vant to touch my monkey phone?  Now's ze time on Sprockets ven ve dance! 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:14 | 4086355 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Jah, Emil you are gut mit dese things wo is mein angry birds? Wat machst mit diesen Pyramid mit it's googly eye, ist bin sehr creepy!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:24 | 4086399 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Picture 2: "Use sign language because the NSA might be listening."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:42 | 4086488 WallowaMountainMan
WallowaMountainMan's picture

1. "this doesn't vibrate."

2. "rapunzel, they're watching us."

3. " no, it doesn't matter that he's gay. i asked for a woman."

4. "they'll never notice i'm not one of the guys."

 

:)

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:51 | 4086529 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

iScheisse

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 11:58 | 4086563 supermaxedout
supermaxedout's picture

Nobody can do it better than our blonde angel "Angela".  The moment she speaks something out openly then it is the truth. No doubt.

The past is not of much interest for Hausfrau, Mutti, Physics phD and now Chancelor of Germany  Angela Angel Merkel. The past was, that the US and the UK were the real masters of Germany, since they knew everything and controlled everything. This was then. Just now the last British soldiers do leave Germany, while the US has still giant facilities.  Btw all build with German money - the last one was  finished last year,  an ultra modern spycenter near Wiesbaden in Germany)

But this is now: Frau Merkel simply does not like to continue in this way - period. And together with Germany also the rest of Europe. They are fed up with the US bullshitting.   This is the only message Frau Merkel gave to the world. There is only one question that remains, the degree of the new independence of the Eurozone (without the UK of course which have completely different interests)

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:07 | 4086593 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

With zee snooping, I now haff no ways of asking Frau Hillary to return those snug-fit lederhosen and leather spike braziere she borrowed

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:07 | 4086610 No Euros please...
No Euros please we're British's picture

I keep getting calls from some prankster called William Joyce.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:24 | 4086702 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

These BOZO's should have been suspicious when they got phones you can't take the battery out of.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:37 | 4086784 grekko
grekko's picture

I knew it.  I shouldn't have donated 5 Euros to Ron Paul's campaign.  Now I'm labelled a terrorist!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:40 | 4086794 grekko
grekko's picture

Ya, Ya...I know I said it was okay to record German's cell phone calls, but I meant the Hoi Poloi, not the Masters of Euroland!

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:42 | 4086813 casfoto
casfoto's picture

It your mother.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:52 | 4086857 grekko
grekko's picture

Pic #3:

I have to get zis out of my head.  If I can get zees three guyz to gangbang me that would do it.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 12:52 | 4086859 asteroid
asteroid's picture

Caption:

Obama says he's sorry and won't do it again--Honest?

 

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:11 | 4086964 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Hey Sarkozy, check out this Obama Choomin' pic, should I send it to the Saudis or Putin?

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:21 | 4087014 derryb
derryb's picture

"looks like we no longer need the red one."

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 13:32 | 4087068 FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

"Phones ringing Dude"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 14:54 | 4087439 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

Second pic:

"Yes, I want 500 Krugerrands. No I don't want any shares in GLD. What kind of fucking idiot do you think I am!

If you don't hold it you don't own it....

But don't tell anyone I said that!"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 14:57 | 4087447 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

Hitler knows better than to pick up

http://youtu.be/aJ2dEYQDmbA

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 15:08 | 4087504 janus
janus's picture

for pick #2 -- merkel & sarkozy

"touch my monkey...love him."

to 'get' this you'll need to be late gen X early gen Y...and it'll recall days gone by, back when mike meyers was legitimately funny (yup, kids, long-long ago, meyers was actually funny)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay6N33y_UG4

what were those monkey's names,

janus

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 16:12 | 4087801 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

Photo #1:  "Auchtung!  These bastards are nosier than Klaus Fuchs!"

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 16:53 | 4087962 flyingcaveman
flyingcaveman's picture

No Barrack, I don't wan't to see your Blackberry, nor do I have any sourkraut recipes.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 21:26 | 4088739 optimator
optimator's picture

So, BiBi, please to explain why you are the only one in the vorld whose phone is not tapped?

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