Fact Or Fiction: NSA Unveils "Internal Patriot Discovery" Protocol

Tyler Durden's picture

Rather than go to exhaustive lengths identifying the "terrorists," we identify (based on every piece of data you have ever touched in your life) the 'patriots' and thus, by process of elimination find the real terrorists...

 


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hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I am on The List!

Everyone with half a brain is on it.

I simply couldn't live with myself if I was not on The List.

Don't be a pussy, get on The List!

SoberOne's picture

+1, 000, 000

 

There is nowhere to hide. Get on the list!

DaddyO's picture

At some point you must take a stand against the bully!

Stand up and be counted...

Are you willing to pledge your fortunes, sacred honor and life for the cause of Liberty?

I am....

DaddyO

ml8ml8's picture

The first victim/perpetrator.  Seriously, this is worthy of a special prosecutor. This shocks my conscience, and I'm not a person prone to hyperbole.

 

 http://dailycaller.com/2013/10/25/exclusive-feds-confiscate-investigativ...  

tmosley's picture

In a flashback to a much earlier episode of "Fact or Fiction?" we have here a clip from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law which first aired January 1st, 2004.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO90J6tGyE8

Gen. Keith Alexander's picture

We are doing God's work here, people.

fourchan's picture

re spying, its funny merkels mad but every ctizen who has paid for this big brother shit to spy on them/us says nothing

I DONT WANT THE NSA SPYING ON ME EITHER MERKEL.

sunaJ's picture

I decided a while ago that it didn't matter to me whether or not ZH was a CIA-backed intel site or a true gem of what used to be the 4th Estate.  It is clear to me the Super Secret Happy Fun Club (NSA et al) is illegally building highly complex (therefore invariably inaccurate in their arrogance) profiles of everyone with the assistance of our equally-fascistic public and private mega corporations...in order to continue a failed status quo long in its death throes and beholden to the whims of whatever minion-in-chief is able to sink to the bottom of the cesspool.  Oh, and they are doing it secretly all this time because it is only considered legal in what have also been secret rulings by secret courts with rubber stamps.  I'd really like to know if zee NSA thinks that is a patriotic or terroristy opinion. Then I'll know whether or not I would be on their patriot list. I hope, I hope! *crossing fingers*

 

mjcOH1's picture

"Almost two centuries ago a group of disturbed men met in the small Pennsylvania State House [as] they gathered to decide on a course of action. Behind the locked and guarded doors they debated for hours whether or not to sign the Declaration which had been presented for their consideration. For hours the talk was treason and its price the headsman's axe, the gallows and noose. The talk went on and decision was not forthcoming. Then, Jefferson writes, a voice was heard coming from the balcony:

"They may stretch our necks on all the gibbets in the land. They may turn every tree into a gallows, every home into a grave, and yet the words of that parchment can never die. They may pour our blood on a thousand scaffolds and yet from every drop that dyes the axe a new champion of freedom will spring into birth. The words of this declaration will live long after our bones are dust.

To the mechanic in his workshop they will speak hope; to the slave in the mines, freedom; but to the coward rulers, these words will speak in tones of warning they cannot help but hear. Sign that parchment. Sign if the next moment the noose is around your neck. Sign if the next minute this hall rings with the clash of falling axes! Sign by all your hopes in life or death, not only for yourselves but for all ages, for that parchment will be the textbook of freedom, the bible of the rights of man forever.

Were my soul trembling on the verge of eternity, my hand freezing in death, I would still implore you to remember this truth: God has given America to be free!"

As he finished, the speaker sank back in his seat exhausted. Inspired by his eloquence the delegates rushed forward to sign the Declaration of Independence. When they turned to thank the speaker for his timely words he couldn't be found and to this day no one knows who he was or how he entered or left the guarded room."

- Ronald Reagan

338's picture

Was that the fuckin douchebag that outlawed any new production of machine guns while he was president?  Yes, that was Ronald, fuck those commoners don't need machine guns Reagan.

 

Seem's people look to hold political type's in high esteem that would trample thier right to own legal arms alot these days .

 

Fuck RR and his shit bag policy of making machine guns unaffordable for the masses.

 

And you dumbfucks wanna give me the red thing, read some history.....

 

John Ross has a stunning book called 'Unintended Consequenses', most folks on this board don't carry enough nuts to finish it, but I've known the 80/20 rule since I started pumpin gas at 12......

 

80 percent stand around and watch while 20 percent do the thinking, working, and pretty much everything else.

 

Put me at the top of the list please.   Save me having to decide whether to shoot some miserable fuck in the back when he fucks with my neighbor, or making the obvious decision to shoot him in the throat when he fucks with me.

mjcOH1's picture

"Was that the fuckin douchebag that outlawed any new production of machine guns while he was president?  Yes, that was Ronald, fuck those commoners don't need machine guns Reagan. ...

Fuck RR and his shit bag policy of making machine guns unaffordable for the masses.

And you dumbfucks wanna give me the red thing, read some history....."

 

So as a student of history, you of course know that you're referring to the Firearm Owners Protection Act of 1986, which rolled back many of the provisions of the Gun Control Act of 1968.   It is probably the only reason that Americans are still able to buy ammunition, and that there are FFLs remaining in the country from which they can buy guns.  It is so far the only legislative rollback of a previous gun control law....although the assault weapons ban did have a sunset provision that eventually kicked in without legislative action.   Reagan considered it a victory at the tme, given that.  But bitch on...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firearm_Owners_Protection_Act

"Under the Gun Control Act of 1968, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, now the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF) was given wide latitude on the enforcement of regulations pertaining to Federal Firearms License (FFL) holders. Allegations of abuse by ATF inspectors soon arose from the National Rifle Association (NRA) and certain targeted Federal firearms licensees. ...

The Firearm Owners Protection Act of 1986 addressed the abuses noted in the 1982 Senate Judiciary Subcommittee report. Among the reforms intended to loosen restrictions on gun ownership were the reopening of interstate sales of long guns on a limited basis, legalization of ammunition shipments through the U.S. Postal Service (a partial repeal of the Gun Control Act), removal of the requirement for record keeping on sales of non-armor-piercing ammunition, and federal protection of transportation of firearms through states where possession of those firearms would otherwise be illegal (See: 18 USC § 926A http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/926A ). However, the Act also contained a provision that banned the sale of machine guns manufactured after the date of enactment to civilians, restricting sales of these weapons to the military and law enforcement. ....

The gun rights movement lobbied Congress to pass the FOPA to prevent the abuse of regulatory power — in particular, to address claims that the ATF was repeatedly inspecting FFL holders for the apparent purpose of harassment intended to drive the FFL holders out of business (as the FFL holders would constantly be having to tend to ATF inspections instead of to customers).

The Act mandated that ATF compliance inspections can be done only once per year. ..
The Act also forbade the U.S. Government agency from keeping a registry directly linking non-National Firearms Act firearms to their owners,"

 

So yeah...that "fuckin douchebag" who  managed a legislative rollback of the Gun Control act of 1968 so that you're now still able to buy firearms and ammo.

338's picture

And effectively made the street price of a Colt M16A2 go from 700 dollars to, gee I don't know, about 18,000 or more today.

 

And if you think we wouldn't be able to buy firearms without that legislation, you need another bottle of good scotch.....

 

And if you think that this is true,

 

The Act also forbade the U.S. Government agency from keeping a registry directly linking non-National Firearms Act firearms to their owners,"

 

you need to wake up, they have everything, especially if you live in CA, AZ, NM or TX, which have their own set of reporting requirements, in direct violation of the constitution....

Signing the FOPA with the Hughes Amenment attatched to it made RR the most vile being in the history of politics to me, but I actually believe in a free mans right to defend himself with any weapon, and they should not be controlled or infringed in any way shape or form.

 

There was also an effective double in the FICA and Mediscare taxes under Reagen that kinda made the working class into the defacto funding class for all the bullshit that has gone on since 1985, keep listening to Rush and Hannity for your news.

 

It's obviously served you well....

 

 

mjcOH1's picture

"And if you think we wouldn't be able to buy firearms without that legislation, you need another bottle of good scotch....."

Correct.   With the FFLs driven out of business you would still have legal intra-state private sale from a dwindling pool of available used firearms with an increasing demand as the population increased.   So rather than bitching about a $10,000 M16 you could go bargain hunting for a $1000 Raven .25.

If you could find ammo.....since you couldn't mail order it, your local FFL would be out of business, and Walmart wouldn't be interested in having to photocopy your ID and keep those records for the ATF when you wanted to buy a box of ammo.

 

"There was also an effective double in the FICA and Mediscare taxes under Reagen that kinda made the working class into the defacto funding class for all the bullshit that has gone on since 1985, keep listening to Rush and Hannity for your news."

Hate on.   But since the FOPA is public record, you only get to rewrite history in your twisted little head.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firearm_Owners_Protection_Act
Pub.L. 99–308
, 100 Stat. 449, enacted May 19, 1986, codified at 18 U.S.C. § 921

All Risk No Reward's picture

Pol Pot murdered all the people* with glasses.

*"people" excludes the inner party Gods who are above the law.

kralizec's picture

Sorry, won't make it that far...pretty sure I don't want to either.

TeamDepends's picture

Nope, they'll have a special room for you....

Super Broccoli's picture

oh you're going at fema camp this year too ? i'm sure it will be so much fun

tarsubil's picture

Do the honorable thing and come face to face with those whose God given freedoms you confiscate. Please start with me. I'm one of those little can't get a date guys. Trust me (no need to look at my file).

MichiganMilitiaMan's picture

That IPD insertion site looked vaguely like where a colonscopy scope is placed.  I think I'll take my chances staying off the list!

smlbizman's picture

you can die on ur knees, you can die in shackles or you can die standing up.....

DaddyO's picture

Good on ya!!!

I too will die fighting if it comes to that, not on my knees in a ditch in some stinking FEMA camp.

DaddyO

tmosley's picture

I think I would rather die with my hands around Mr. Creedy's throat.

Abaco's picture

Or you can die prone behind cover

darteaus's picture

They were also tapping the phones of an AP reporter around the same time.  But the media continue their role of sycophantic enablers of tyranny.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2013/05/busted-obama-administration-secretly-tapped-reporters-telephone-records-for-months/

Urban Redneck's picture

The more people who are on the list and in regular communication with each other, the more warning everyone has when it is time to alter tactics. In the meantime it affords the luxury of going on about one's life (or donning a tinfoil hat in the bomb-shelter while cleaning rifles and stacking the precious, if one doesn't have a life or hasn't already completed preparations for the inevitable).

King_Julian's picture

I too am on the list. My local "fusion center" keeps it up to date.

Paveway IV's picture

I know America offers competitive threat scores, but how can I be sure?

I wish Flo at Progressive could show me my U.S. score side-by-side with those offered by other corrupt crony democracies. Then I could chose the opression that's right for ME. 

0b1knob's picture

If you post on Zerohedge then you are definitely on the "list".   And its not the Patriot list.

The name of the list starts with "s", ends with "t" and has the word "hi" in the middle.

DanDaley's picture

Fecal roster is the official term, I believe.

Lmo Mutton's picture

Dude please and with all due respect sir, I was on that list years ago and seniority rules. (So there.)

Croesus's picture

Just like at Christmas, I'd rather give than receive....

You go right ahead, and put me on your list; I'll be sure to add you to mine. Seasons Greetings! 

GeezerGeek's picture

I'm certain you'd rather give than receive come April 15, right? At least that's what Harry Reid says, and we all know how great Harry is. http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/harry-reid-everybody-willing-pay-more-taxes_764666.html

 

Amagnonx's picture

To facilitate our efforts to ensure our deserved high placings on the list, I recommend a review of a video previously posted here on ZH.

 

Operation Talk Like a Terrorist all the Time.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4z09el30f8&feature=player_embedded

Zero Point's picture

Been on it since around '91 I reckon.

Since I started telling people about PROMIS and ECHELON and fucking Pine Gap.

 

prains's picture

The Makers of the List

 

need to be on your LIST, make one, it'll come in handy one day

Clockwork Orange's picture

This sure looks like it is going to end pretty ugly.

DaddyO's picture

Do you think the PTB are going to just roll over and give back the reins of FREEDOM?

I don't...

You're right and ugly may be the key word.

DaddyO

NumNutt's picture

When the shit hits the fan remember this - 39.397732, -77.911551 put those in google maps. That is the main IRS data center. Get rid of their money and you get rid of their power.

GeezerGeek's picture

One might also say "get rid of their (electrical) power and you get rid of their money." I doubt they could collect much if the computers go down.

NumNutt's picture

What ever works. But if you look at the satellite view, the smaller building is the on-site generator facilities.  Good luck cutting the power. 

Waffen's picture

If I have given up being a patriot and embraced national socialism am I removed from the list?

knukles's picture

I'm just puttin an Obie 2016 bumper sticker on my car and be done with it.

Paveway IV's picture

You will anger the Hillary. You don't want to do that. There are certain dark forces that should not be awakened.

depression's picture

i agree with knukles better safe than sorry, we can all just past a new red H-16 sticker over it once she is nominated.

darteaus's picture

Obama for Sheik - 2016!

NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  If I have given up being a patriot and embraced national socialism am I removed from the list?

Yes, because that shows a lack of duplicity.   To stay off the list you must prove you ARE a patriot by actually being a national socialist.

Having slow-motion flags and eagles in your home is a good start.

HardAssets's picture

Waffen:  "If I have given up being a patriot and embraced national socialism am I removed from the list?"

Well, not according to history.

Nazi Germany:  'Night of the Long Knives' when hundreds of party members were murdered for being a future potential threat

Stalinist USSR:  Many years of the arrest and murder of party insiders including some of the earliest leaders of the 1917 'revolution'

Dictators are paranoid and also sadists who love hurting & killing people.

Waffen's picture

oh I was being factitious, I am a proponent of a white ethnostate, so I am quite certain if the NSA is tweaked well enough I will be on the list either way. I just figure if being an "America rah rah" gets me on the list, I might as well go all the way.

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Well, when the US is balkanized, the Midwest or Pacific Northwest would probably be closest to your ideal.