Obama Is Shocked, Shocked To Learn Everyone's Phone Was Bugged

Tyler Durden's picture

The Obama administration, which has a spotless track record in taking credit for everything that goes right (all of which is thanks to Bernanke's flooding the world with record liquidity as when the No Free Lunch bill comes due, it will be some other president's clean up), has an even more impeccable history of deflecting responsibility for all that goes wrong.

Most recently, it was the horrific rollout of Obamacare which as we observed earlier in the week, was all "someone else's fault" but certainly not the government's. Now, as the Snowden whistleblowing scandal has found its third (or fourth) wind courtesy of a furious international response following revelations that Obama was listening in to Merkel and at least 34 other world leaders', it is time for perhaps the most stunning revelation of all: you see, Obama is shocked, shocked to learn that cell phone spying - of virtually everyone on the planet - is going on in here.

From the WSJ:

The White House cut off some monitoring programs after learning of them, including the one tracking Ms. Merkel and some other world leaders, a senior U.S. official said. Other programs have been slated for termination but haven't been phased out completely yet, officials said. 


The account suggests President Barack Obama went nearly five years without knowing his own spies were bugging the phones of world leaders. Officials said the NSA has so many eavesdropping operations under way that it wouldn't have been practical to brief him on all of them.


They added that the president was briefed on and approved of broader intelligence-collection "priorities," but that those below him make decisions about specific intelligence targets.


The senior U.S. official said that the current practice has been for these types of surveillance decisions to be made at the agency level. "These decisions are made at NSA," the official said. "The president doesn't sign off on this stuff." That protocol now is under review, the official added.


NSA spokeswoman Vanee Vines said NSA based its operations on priorities set across the U.S. government. "The agency's activities stem from the National Intelligence Priorities Framework, which guides prioritization for the operation, planning and programming of U.S. intelligence analysis and collection," she said.


The administration didn't end all operations involving world leaders following this summer's revelations because some of the programs are producing intelligence of use to the U.S.

Time to throw the low-cost alternative:  where besides every single bank in the past 5 years have we seen this model? But more importantly, as so many were predicting, five years of zero knowledge means... it was all Bush's fault again!

Which after seeing the following snapshots from 2006, makes some sense.

It makes just as perfect sense that supposedly mid-level janitors decide which leaders of the free and not so free world they will decide to eavesdrop on without even informally informing the president.

It makes even greater sense that a government which is desperately strapped for money, can spend billions on wiretaps in Spain, where El Mundo reports, the NSA monitored 60.5 million Spanish phone calls between December 2012 and January 2013.

Because when in doubt, spend taxpayer money when not even the president has any idea why the entire world is suddenly quite angry with him and America. And then panic when the government shutdown results in the furlough of thousands of spies otherwise busy eavesdropping on Frau Merkel.

But going back to the original point: with just under 3 years to go in his term, an economy that is foundering and which not all the moneyprinting in history can offset the inevitable, a budget deficit that depsite recent dips is still the largest until 2008, does Obama actually have any idea what the US Government is spending money on, or is his daily teleprompted address the only thing that Obama actually has a hand in.

As for the punchline: remember when Obama said he would have disclosed all the Snowden revelations anyway? That is now in the running for funniest phrase of the year.

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King_of_simpletons's picture

It is all part of a continuum. Just blame the president who is in the White House when you get caught with your pants down. One giant clusterfuck. Democrats or Republicans .... it just doesn't matter.

Zer0head's picture



Bush Bush


it's an effing forest

markmotive's picture

We are all owned. Slaves of the system.

Our movements have been monitored pre-NSA, pre-wiretaps, pre-email, pre-Internet.

We are owned. We always have been and we always will be.


TwoShortPlanks's picture

"slowly at first, then all of a sudden".....anyone living in the US (that's about 90% of the ZH crowd) are fucked, utterly fucked.

But don't worry, chances are good that the Military Industrial Complex will simply go quietly into the night.

For those of you who haven't read it: http://twoshortplanksunplugged.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/gold-nwo-elitesthe-gamethe-ambush.html

old naughty's picture

Master Chief of slaves:  “Me no spying you…you no spying me…”


Master: “Him no spying her… I, never mind “

TwoShortPlanks's picture

Oops, it's not 90%, it's 50.63448% of ZH traffic is US based....according to my Agenda21/NSA net-spy almanac.

mickeyman's picture

Arrest the usual suspects!

GetZeeGold's picture



It sucks. Everytime Obama is about to win....there's Bush again!

asteroids's picture

Its hard work to maintain a true friendship. Only lazy, stupid, two faced people cheat. Call him friend and bug his phone to make sure. What dishonesty.

Keyser's picture

Bullshit, it was reported over the weekend that Obama knew of Merkel's phone being bugged since 2010 and approved the practice. Shocked my ass. Perhaps shocked that he has been caught in yet another lie. 


Joe Davola's picture

Tough to keep track of today's operative truth.

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Will I get into any trouble by talking about Peru?  Are "they" reading my ZH post here?  Would "they" be PO'd if I advise ZH readers to go see a part of Peru with incredible wonders that almost no one knows anything about?

More importantly, will I get into any trouble about press-ganging two women in Cocachimba into squeezing sugarcane juice?  Or will I get into trouble here (in Peru) for my picture of NASTIMED PLUS?

But, this part of Peru was new to us and yet has almost unbelievable wonders not even known to most Peruvians!  The world's third tallest waterfall.  A huge canyon that rivals our Grand Canyon as well as Peru's more famous Colca Canyon.  And the poorly understood pre-Inca ruins of Kuelap.

Peru awaits the adventurous...

"The Wonders of Amazonas, Peru"


Manthong's picture


I thought Obamacare had the trademark on that one.

Whoa Dammit's picture

Thanks for posting this DoChen. I really enjoyed reading it & seeing your pictures. 

RaceToTheBottom's picture

" Would "they" be PO'd if I advise ZH readers to go see a part of Peru with incredible wonders that almost no one knows anything about?"


They would probably see that as code for "down with the FED".

I would buy bonds to clear your name

gavrilo princip's picture

I can say Bolivia also has its share of amazing places....without mentioning that after hundreds of years of mining, they still have an  amazing amounts of minerals and precious metals. and in bolivia you can drive for 200 miles for the cost of few dolars, thanks to the huge reserves of natural gas. 

Keyser's picture

Same for Colombia. I lived there for a few years and loved the place, except for having to be careful traveling between cities due to FARC activites. Funny thing is, now Colombia is safe and Venzuela is dangerous. Complete opposite of 15 years ago. 


Ralph Spoilsport's picture

What about the Peruvian Marching Powder?

Keyser's picture

Keep it up DC, every American needs to learn that life in the US is not the panacea that everyone makes it out to be. There are lots of places around the world that make the US pale by comparison. Good on you for stretching your legs. 

Carl Popper's picture


We are only owned if we allow it. The Russian peoples went Galt on a massive scale against the USSR. The "owners" pretended to pay them and they pretended to work.

We have it easy. Drop out. Do not feed the beast. We are on the cusp of a maker society of local individual action and transactions that cannot be taxed.

Marx was right that the state would whither away. However he was wrong about how it would happen.

acetinker's picture

How many eyes and ears would it take to monitor the whole of the world's thoughts?  Fuck 'em.  When a man is pushed to the end of his rope, he lets go and says, "OK fuckwad, it's time for you to take over".

Confused's picture

The problem is not how many eyes and ears. The answer to that as technology improves moves closer to zero everyday. 

Keyser's picture

Rather hard to drop off the radar in the US. Even if you go underground, unless you have ample resources ($$$) you will show up on the radar somewhere. Try avoiding taxes if you are a wage-earner in the US too. 

knukles's picture

At some point, I didn't know, it's everybody else's fault simply becomes I'm incompetent because I don't have a clue.

We're there, mom!
Oh, we're there for sure.

johnnyarrowmaker's picture

You know, I've lived in the UK for over 50 years, and I've always thought it was called Epping Forest.



RafterManFMJ's picture

Officials said the NSA has so many eavesdropping operations under way that it wouldn't have been practical to brief him on all of them.

Fucking Awesome!!! "We're murdering so many people it's not practical to record their names or inform El Presidente."

putaipan's picture

where're the fat disabled inbred eagle scouts when you need 'em?

putaipan's picture

fucky'all. i'm gonna come back tomorrow and give myself a big hard greenie fer that one......

King_Julian's picture

+1 That was funny. You deserved it.

putaipan's picture

thank you thank you . of course, seniorbanzai all credit due for visualizing the punchline-

RaceToTheBottom's picture

Making mini versions of themselves with many 12-14 YO wives so they can sap your tax dollars mo better or alternately get jobs at huge data centers....

Nothing but the truth.'s picture

Not as shocked as he will be when he finds out after Germany demands their gold back, that it's not there. And since when in any government ,would an operation like the NSA eavesdrop on world leaders without the express consent and knowledge of the country's president ? Obama must take the full wrap and consequences for this dastardly act.

fonzannoon's picture

Bush was just planting the device on her back. Brilliant.

LetThemEatRand's picture

So Bush gave Merkel the Clapper?

fonzannoon's picture

"George We want our gold back"

"what's got two thumbs and gives free back rubs? Thiiiis guy!!!! ehhhh!!!!"


Truthseeker2's picture



This will really shock Obama ! ! !




Global Financial Architecture and Economic Systems on Verge of Collapse



dogmete's picture

Obama is a brilliant man with a good honest character, and he loves his country and the principles of the Founding Fathers.

NoDebt's picture

Thanks, I needed a good belly-laugh tonight.

MisterMousePotato's picture

Someone gave that an up arrow? Seriously?!? Three up arrows!?!

I must not understand this angry downtwinkle/happy uptwinkle thing here at ZeroHedge at all.

(Credit for "angry downtwinkle" goes to another ZHer. I'm not that funny.)

quasimodo's picture

Probably the funnest part of all these .gov troll newbies is hitting refresh and watching the junks add up.

Carl Popper's picture


The sound of snark flying over your head.

Bear's picture

It's got to be sarc ... no moron is that stupid