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ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW BROKEN SOCIAL MEDIA IS IN 14 BOMBASTIC HEADLINES
In the paradoxical New Normal media world in which the legacy creators of original content (even if most of it is designed to suit a specific agenda) are hopelessly burning cash at an ever faster pace, while those who (at least for the time being) are profitable and cater to the "social network crowd" do so on the backs of kittens, slideshows and headlines designed to attract the lowest common denominator, what is one to do? One suggestion, as the following XKCD table shows, is to rewrite history, while focusing on the only thing that matters: trolling for reads, bobbing for CPM and clickbaiting, of course.
Source: XKCD
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2013 -- Yellen side boob. Did she wear that to a Fed meeting?
"Breaking News: Stock market hits new all time high. We have reached a permanent wealth effect"
"How You Can Aspire To Be A Sexy, Glamerous Federal Bureaucrat"
http://www.fakenation.info/please/top-five-hideous-federal-officers
ALL CAPS MEANS IT'S TRUE!
So who were the 6 titanic survivors that should have died?
Let's see - Reid, McCain, Pelosi, Feinstein, McConnell, Sanders
Yep, all dinosaurs that should have been taken out during the KT event.
But, as reptilians they somehow managed to survive even that.
Of course I believe everything that I read on the internet!!
Crowdsourcing. How Twitter Solved Fukushima.
Social Media is making us less social.
But it does help the NSA complete your profile.
Social media is a spymaster's wet dream.
doood thats funny as hell. wow those dna chains are reverting back to knukle draggers
Must be a slow day in the ZH news room.
Tyler could pretty much switch to algos that announce new record S&P highs every morning, a new spy program that no one cares about, the latest indication that QE will continue, and call it a day.
Umm . . . I'm thinking those algos have been in place for a while.
When will you learn that you've been clickbaited?
I won't up arrow you, but I wanted to.
I don't mean to sound like a recalcitrant ZH subscriber, but I paid a bunch of money for this subscription, and I expect to get my money's worth.
Seriously, ZH is my first read of the day, and on many days, its the only place I go to get the real news.
Keep up the good work, Tyler, wherever (and whomever) you are.
p.s. Looks like we're going to have another great day in ES fantasy land. Time for a new Xtranormal video.
Ditto. But I'll share this... from a recent chat with a "Moderate Republican", who enjoys a very comfy cozy retirement (on own dime), and who surprised me with his current views:
1. The GOP is totally screwed by a bunch of extremist nutwings they should have gotten rid of years ago. Not sure if he meant Neocons or T.P./Libertarians.
2. There will never be a viable "Revolution" in this country. A bunch of guys with glorified muskets (AR's) have zero chance against drones and fighter plane tech and hardware.
Man vs drone/airplane.
Well, the cost/benefits of that particular strategy would depend on the price of gas, now wouldn't it?
"2. There will never be a viable "Revolution" in this country. A bunch of guys with glorified muskets (AR's) have zero chance against drones and fighter plane tech and hardware."
The Vietnamese, Iraquis and Afghanis found a way. We, the American people, will as well.
Revolution is quickly becoming synonymous with 'life,' and to quote Goldblum's character in Jurassic Park, "Life will find a way."
i'm really tired of hearing that dumbfuck opinion. (#2)
not the new ones
sort of like a poor man's business insider
which raises questions as to the editorial direction of ZH, which in turn raises the question of stealth ownership as the original Tylers party on their yacht in the South Pacific
Sadly "the original Tyler(s)" are and have been here from day 1, forced to witness every day the complete farcism western society has devolved to.
I love you dude!
Second that.
Thanks for keeping it real.
The Fight-Club does NOT allow that kind of emotional display. Speaking of emotional displays, whatever happened to Marla?
Tylers, thanks for the confirmation
Marla lost it.
She became a grade school teacher.
There was a dispute involving support for Anonymous as far as I can put together, you can read the past postings and figure it out if you wish.
She was publishing sporadically to her own blog, Finem Respice, but she pulled the plug on that fairly recently. However, parts of it were catpured by the wayback machine: http://web.archive.org/web/*/finemrespice.com
I've found a handful of her sets from Radio ZH from a few years ago. ZH radio is by far the thing I miss about her most.
Did you start drinking again ???
you talking to mscreant or Zer0head
MsC, being the mean bastard that I am !!!
And put up with the tripe from folks like me :)
Let's keep things in perspective, folks.
That is exactly what I would expect an imposter Tyler to say. :)
tyler you really need to engage with us folks more often. you are becoming too wizardish behind the curtainish for our liking. you are a tyler of the people, not a tyler for the people
Speak for yourself. How can you possibly claim "we" anything?
I'm perfectly grateful that ZH exists, for free, and I can get information here I cannot get anywhere else. If anything, ZH is becoming more of a model for others.
If anything, ZH is becoming more of a model for others...
I wouldn't know, I've pretty much quit wasting my time even scouting for sanity among the wasteland the 4th estate has become. It's not that I relish a "gleeful" approach to reporting potentially lethal, immoral, illegal and otherwise threatening possibilities and activities, but it's served in a concise, palatible and raw fashion that allows me to prioritize the implications the information may or will have on me personally. If it becomes a model for others, that'd be better change than what we've endured thus far.
jmo.
The financial news will start being "different" again right around the time they shut the non MSM controlled internet down.
Marla please. She loved to fight.
Given the level of increasing Fascism that Tyler refers to, and given ZH's countless cutting-edge articles, I was truly amazed/shocked, when an otherwise smart, educated and well-informed Republican referred to this site as being "The National Enquirer of economic journalism".
Ouch! I fail to see the connection. If it was intended to bait me into an emotional response, it did not succeed. Nor was I going to waste time or breath on a Brick Wall mindset. But never mind...
The salient point is... If someone who is otherwise smart and informed holds ZH as a "fringe site" of "yellow journalism", then how the hell are other so-called "moderates" supposed to come around to seeing things the way they really are?
Clearly those who helped build the Status Quo and have benefited richly by it -- to now enjoy an opulent Boomer retirement -- are not going to be the ones to criticize it beyond maintaining their present lifestyle. --> "Where your treasure is, there is your heart also" comes to mind from N.T. Scripture.
Don't forget new high radiation and/or storm/earthquake/zombies at fukushima.
my popcorn bowl's looking like a science experiment
I sort of thought those were givens. Like on Wheel of Fortune's final round these days, where they automatically give the contestant S,N,L,T, and R or whatever to start.
How many articles or how much analysis can you publish about a centrally planned rigged market, when the only thing that matters is whether or not you BTFD or BTFATH?
You try and come up with headlines in this rerun of Groundhog day we live in...
"Yellen side boob"
See you in 5 years, erection......
Upon reading that, my dick shrunk so much that I think it's living inside me now. Does this mean I now have a vagina?
I think there's something Biblical along those lines like Eve giving up her penis for Adam if she could have the remote.
yes
Looks like they just read a days worth of headlines from BI.
It's tough to say which is more annoying. The persistent superlatives from BI ("TODAY'S EARNINGS FROM APPLE WILL BE THE BIGGEST NEWS THIS CENTURY") or the ridiculous "10 things" posts on MarketWatch ("10 Things Janet Yellen's husband won't tell you about their sex life.")
Next you will tell me you watch CNBC and read Time magazine? WTF?
If ZH lost its comments (and commentators) section, it too would be much less worthy of visiting.
ever get the feeling that we're just ants being stared at through the glass by a giant 80 year old billionaire pondering what he is going to make us do for his amusement today?
I think a handful of them up in the Ivory Towers are worried about how they are going to keep the House of Cards together for another day!
WAY too little celeb mentions, feel-bad-about-your-fat-self titles, and accompanying nudie thumbnails.
2009: "you won't believe what one black man did to a country!"
2009: "you won't believe what one black man did to OUR country!" There. fixed it for you!
fixed it for you!
Thank you!! I see "hope and change" still works in the U.S.!
How the first female president could actually be a MAN! You won't believe what this federal agent revealed....
You forgot the best one of all:
“This man turned $10 into $100 million trading penny stocks. Find out how you can too.”
2016 Headline: Obama and Yellin crowned King and Queen of the World as they have ended poverty, hunger and want by giving every one in the World as many dollars as they want.
Attention ZH: Half the humor in XKCD is in the rollover text.
I swear those titles could of come direct from Business Insider's main page.
Gold hating, Apple lovin jerk offs (well at least they are consistent).
1913: YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT STOCKING STUFFER SANTA CLAUSE GAVE TO BANKERS ON CHRISTMAS EVE
Don't worry Tyler's, once the dollar cracks below 70 the fun will begin and I assume ZH viewership will explode yet again. As of now, many (like me) are trying to live normal American life while we can. Once poop guns are out in full force, we wont be leaving our screens...and your new Ad bug "trade silver for firewood in your area" will be bringing in $Trillions a month.