Hilsenrath's 601 Word Summary Took A Whopping 7 Minutes

Tyler Durden's picture

Nobody could ever accuse the WSJ's Jon Hilsenrath of breaching the FOMC embargo, which is why we were delighted to see that he waited a whole 7 minutes before releasing his 601 word summary of what the Fed really said.

Note the timestamp:

The turbo fast written piece, which incidentally says nothing new and once again merely parrots convention wisdom, is below:

The Federal Reserve on Wednesday held steady on its signature $85 billion-a-month bond-buying program and gave few new signals on when officials expect to pull back on the program or how they see the economic outlook changing.


The Fed's policy-making committee showed itself to be effectively in a wait-and-see mode on the bond program, leaving investors in a continued guessing game about the path of a Fed policy that has been an important driver of asset prices and interest rates.


In June, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke said he expected the Fed to start pulling back this year, but with only one more Fed policy meeting in December before year-end, that now looks less certain.


"[T]he Committee decided to await more evidence that progress will be sustained before adjusting the pace of its purchases," the Fed said in its statement Wednesday, repeating language it used in September.


The Fed made very few changes to its description of current economic conditions. It said that the economy "continued to expand at a moderate pace," and labor markets "have shown some further improvement." The Fed acknowledged that the "recovery in the housing sector slowed somewhat in recent months," one of the most notables change it made in its statement.


In September, the Fed had said that labor markets had shown "further improvement" and the housing sector was "strengthening."


The Fed also removed references from the September statement to higher mortgage rates and tighter financial conditions.


Fed officials surprised markets at their September meeting when they decided not to cut their bond purchases after months of talk that they could start scaling back by year-end. The program is aimed at pushing down long-term interest rates to spur hiring, investment and spending.


With mortgage rates rising and a potential government shutdown and fight over raising the nation's borrowing limit on the horizon, Fed officials said at the September meeting that they wanted to see more evidence that the economy can sustain its progress before cutting the bond-buying program.


A standoff over the federal budget led to a 16-day government shutdown that ended Oct. 17, injecting new uncertainty into the economy and damaging consumer confidence. The shutdown is expected to muddy some economic data through the end of the year. The Fed says its decisions are "data-dependent," meaning it is basing them on how the economy develops. The most recent jobs report showed disappointing employment growth in September.


Nine out of 10 Fed officials voted to keep the bond-buying program steady on Wednesday. Kansas City Fed President Esther George continued her streak of dissenting by voting against the committee's action because she thought the Fed's easy-money policies could create financial instability and excessive inflation. Ms. George has dissented at all seven policy meetings this year.


The Fed also voted to keep short-term interest rates pinned near zero, where they've been since late 2008. Officials didn't make any changes to so-called forward guidance, which are the statements made about the likely path of interest-rate policy.


All seven Fed governors vote at every policy meeting, as does the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, William Dudley. Only five Fed governors attended this meeting. Governor Sarah Bloom Raskin is not participating in policy meetings in light of her pending nomination to be the next deputy Treasury secretary. The seat left empty by Elizabeth Duke in August has not been filled.


The presidents of the 11 other regional Fed banks vote on a rotating basis. This year, in addition to Ms. George, Chicago Fed President Charles Evans, Boston Fed President Eric Rosengren and Fed President James Bullard can vote.

And because just one super fast summary was not enough, here is another one, 15 minutes later, from the same Fed mouthpiece:


Three Takeaways on the Fed’s Policy Statement


Here are a few key takeaways:


LITTLE CHANGE IN THE ASSESSMENT OF THE ECONOMY: The housing sector has “slowed somewhat,” the Fed said. That’s a downgrade from September when officials said it had been strengthening. The labor market had shown “some further improvement,” the Fed said, an ever-so-slight downgrade from the “further improvement” the Fed noted in September. On net, very little change in how officials see the economy performing.


–FINANCIAL CONDITIONS IMPROVING: The Fed dropped its reference to financial conditions having tightened in recent months, as it noted in September. That’s a nod of approval to rising stock prices and the recent drop in long-term interest rates. The Fed also removed a reference to its concern about higher mortgage rates, which have dropped since the last meeting.


–STILL AN EYE ON TAPERING: The Fed retained language it used in September which suggested officials had an eye on pulling back from their bond buying program if the economy improved. It noted “underlying strength” in the broader economy and said it chose to “await more evidence” on the economy’s performance before adjusting the bond-buying program. 


Taken together, the Fed isn’t taking a December adjustment to the bond-buying program off the table. But that comes with the strong caveat that it depends on whether the economy is living up to its expectations. As part of that assessment, Fed officials will be updating their economic forecasts in December and will need to make a judgment about whether their projection of accelerating economic growth in 2014 is likely to be met.

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SilverIsKing's picture

Next will come the surprise increase.

Pool Shark's picture



So, Hilsenrath is slowing down?

[P.S. Who's "Hilsernath"?]



Stackers's picture

Schiff still bat'n a thousand

NotApplicable's picture

Accelerating growth, my ass!

cougar_w's picture

[P.S. Who's "Hilsernath"?]

An evil'er twin.

Pool Shark's picture



Oh, that one.

I hear he's dyslexic...


fockewulf190's picture

More like the Bernanks mini-me.

USS Bernanke's picture

601 Words/7 Minutes = 85WPM without time allocated for proof-reading, editing, and submission.
Oh yeah, and he had to read the report.

Seems legit.

NoDebt's picture

Add 30 minutes to that.  That's how far in advance the Fed gives the report to those sequestered in the press "lockup room".

The Navigator's picture

Here - in 10 seconds - the Fed sells and then buys it's own shit, @ 33wpm.

MetalFillBoy's picture

I am sure he had several versions of the paragraphs already done.  Then just pick the one that matches what the Fed statement said, and you have a piece written in minutes! ;)



azzhatter's picture

Hopefully Hilsenrath didn't drip any Bernanke jizm on his paper

Winston Churchill's picture

Pillow talk.

Wonder how he is prepping for Janet.

Penis rings prolly.

knukles's picture

No.  You gotta be kidding me.
So much for embargoing all the info so nobody gets it "quicker"
To wit: the slam on gold and silver, pre-announcement.



HoofHearted's picture

And I'm trying to get the logic behind the slam on the PMs. They did what was expected, so gold and silver get monkey hammered???

I'm beginning to think maybe these markets aren't really free markets. Hmmm....

Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

I can't hold out 7 minutes anymore. I'm like 2 minutes tops.


Dr. Engali's picture

Wow he can type fast with a dick in his mouth.

NoDebt's picture

That's what they do in the Fed's "lockup room".  They give you the info 1/2 an hour early, you write your article while you are in there (many paragraphs pre-written for quick and easy selection) and by the time the appointed hour arrives, you're ready to publish it on the web.

The delay between 2:00 and 2:07 is Ben just havin' some fun with Hilsie's backside.  The 'enter' key is pressed (pun intended) and off she goes. 

And that's where Fed babies come from.

Pool Shark's picture



You left out one detail:

At 1:55 Hilsenrath accesses his E-Trade account...


hangemhigh77's picture

I think you're wrong here. The dick was in his ass this time.

Jumbotron's picture

"Wow he can type fast with a dick in his mouth."

Nah....he was typing with a dick in each hand.........Ben's AND Janet's

You know.....the old hunt and peck style......but really.....really.....fast.



earnyermoney's picture

Well we had The Bernank and Jon blowing him. With Ole Yellin we get Victoria ...

azzhatter's picture

Will Jon have to lick that dried up old pussy on Yellen?

earnyermoney's picture

Nope. The torch is being passed to Victoria.

akenathon's picture

We will have TAPERING pretty soon with economic activity going down - Be ready for the collapse, including precious metals as interest rates will remain up and as such everyone would park his money into inflated bonds instead of anything else

NOTW777's picture

one day the front runners will get monkey hammered - they assume they know how things will react


buzzsaw99's picture

Victoria didn't know anything before anyone else this time.

Socialized Losses's picture

ah victoria secret she has nothing to hide


JR's picture

Three developments connect the Fed actions and Obamacare: 1) The Fed’s war chest is enhanced by lying about inflation, today cheating Social Security recipients with a 1.5% cost of living adjustment 2) the continued transfer of private sector resources to the Fed balance sheet to redistribute wealth to top political projects like Obamacare and Wall Street, and 3) the largest lying campaign in the history of America’s political class that indicates the intentional destruction of America’s capitalistic system…a lying program completely following the outlines of Saul Alinsky.

Much has been suggested concerning Alsinsky’s lying strategies but one of the best analyses of what was to come appeared earlier on Breitbart.

How Saul Alinsky Taught Obama to Say One Thing and Do the Opposite

5 Apr 2012

For those who have paid attention, President Obama has a knack for saying one thing and doing another altogether: a knack for claiming one position while actually occupying another. We first saw this when he was campaigning for president in 2008 and the Supreme Court struck down DC’s gun ban via the Heller decision. At the time, he claimed to mutually support the gun ban and the 2nd Amendment. (Proving this wasn’t a fluke, when Chicago’s gun ban was struck down 2 years later via the McDonald decision, he again claimed he supported both the gun ban and the 2nd Amendment.)

Perhaps his position on a mandate by which government forces citizens to buy healthcare is an even clearer example. When campaigning for the Democrat nomination for president in 2008, [Obama] differentiated between himself and fellow candidate Hillary Clinton by criticizing her plan to use a mandate as an “enforcement mechanism” to “charge people who…don’t have healthcare.” He claimed the use of a mandate for those purposes was something he couldn’t go along with, something that demonstrated a “genuine difference” between himself and Clinton.

However, on April 4, 2012, Obama urged the Supreme Court not to rule against the mandate in ObamaCare because his healthcare reforms cannot survive “in the absence of an individual mandate.”

It’s arguable that there isn’t anything that demonstrates Saul Alinsky’s impact on Obama better than these flip flops and duplicitous positions. For it was Alinsky who spent his life teaching would-be radicals (like Obama) that you can say what you have to say to get over the hump, but once you’re over the hump, you do whatever you want to do. In other words, it’s okay to present yourself as something moderate, even centrist, for the purposes of securing power, and once you’ve secured that power it is perfectly acceptable to revert to who (and what) you really are.

In Rules for Radicals, Alinsky demonstrates this with a look at how Vladimir Lenin was able to overthrow the government in pre-communist Russia:

[Lenin said, “The government has] the guns and therefore we are for peace and for reformation through the ballot. When we have the guns it will be through the bullet.” And so it was.

This is very clear. Lenin talked one way while out of power in order to get into power. And once in power, he used every force available to him—violence included—to maintain the power he had gained… .

Do you see this folks? There are no fixed norms, nor are there concrete right and wrongs or honest convictions. Rather, there are pragmatic answers given only with a view to gaining or maintaining power. In situation A you don’t do what is right; rather, you do whatever is takes to get to situation B, even if what it takes is telling bald-face lie after bald-face lie. And so the progression goes.

Wrote Alinsky: “In war, the end justifies almost any means.” And for Alinsky, as for Lenin and now for Obama, politics is war. Thus a politician is justified in hiding his intention to ban guns while running for office, and likewise justified in reversing position and working “under the radar” for gun bans once in office. Also, a politician is justified in pointing out the problems with a healthcare mandate while running for office, and also justified in reversing course and pushing a healthcare mandate once in office.

These are the Rules for Radicals.


TruthInSunshine's picture

Here's a quote from George Washington that is fitting regarding today's "environment," that I just learned of (I'm surprised I hadn't learned of it prior), and it's spot on:

"Government, like fire, is our most useful servant, if fully controlled by us, its citizens; and government, exactly like fire, becomes our most destructive master if not fully controlled by the open majority of its productive working Citizens! Only united-armed-vigilant & trained. Swiss 6,000 year Peace & Freedom reigned! Exception? None"

--- from 'The Army of Principles' by George Washington (American General during Revolutionary War & 1st President of the United States of America)

Surging Chaos's picture

I guess George Washington forgot to consider that even when the citizens control the government, it is still a monopoly on violence and force. As history has shown us, limited government never stays limited.

I'll call your Washington quote and raise you one Murray Rothbard:

"Advocates of a limited government often hold up the ideal of a government above the fray, refraining from taking sides or throwing its weight around, an “umpire” arbitrating impartially between contending factions in society. Yet why should the government do so? Given the unchecked power of the State, the State and its rulers will act to maximize their power and wealth, and hence inexorably expand beyond the supposed “limits.” The crucial point is that in the Utopia of limited government and laissez faire, there are no institutional mechanisms to keep the State limited. Surely the bloody record of States throughout history should have demonstrated that any power, once granted or acquired, will be used and therefore abused. Power corrupts, as the libertarian Lord Acton so wisely noted." -- Murray Rothbard

JR's picture

Excellent, Truth. The key words in Washington’s quotation are “productive working Citizens.”

They were the backbone of the new republic and its trajectory to the greatest economic miracle that the world has ever seen. Now, with the push from the socialists to destroy this system, specifically now to transfer the estates and labor of productive Americans to a vast welfare audience, they need only to vote for and keep in power the banker-backed socialists (read Communists).

As a working family’s health care insurance premium rises where are those dollars headed? One recipient (for social psychiatric or mental health treatment) might be San Francisco resident Daniel Grijalva. As reported this week in the SF Chronicle, Grijalva, high on paint fumes, his mouth coated with paint, writhing on the sidewalk, indecently exposing himself, was arrested by the police for his 99th time since 1991.

He often continues to be released after each arrest because he’s on what’s called “non-revocable parole -- something given to non violent offenders.”

The Chronicle listed the crime for which he has been arrested: “robbery, resisting arrest, burglary, possession of narcotics, sale of narcotics, possessing narcotics near schools, battery, assault with a deadly weapon, destruction of evidence, false identification as a police officer, check passing, receiving stolen property, selling hypodermic needles, fraudulent use of credit cards, petty theft, sales of controlled substenances, and battery with serious bodily injury. Oh yes, and indecent exposure.”

NotApplicable's picture

Of course, there is absolutely NOTHING new about any of this. Especially since "both parties" play for the same team.

So... once in power, the blue team pulls out the red team's play-book, and vice versa.

Both lead to the very same end. Further consolidation of government power at everyone's expense.

Surging Chaos's picture

Well, you have to consider that Breitbart is a Red Team site.

JR's picture

That’s exactly right, NotApplicable. But, surely, you would agree that the lies of the political class, McCain included, are a hundred times more flagrant within the past two years than ever before. And so many people have yet to understand that the lies are not mistakes; they are intentional, designed to destroy and to build a dictatorial power to conquer the free enterprise of America.

It is important to show that the lies are based on a strategy. And while Saul Alinsky's  Rules for Radicals has been around, not nearly enough people are aware that it is actually a play book for our rulers. You and I can help by illuminating this fact.

The latest: John McCain gushes over Hillary Clinton’s work as Secretary of State, calling it “outstanding,” and intentionally thwarts the conservative cause by promoting her as a “formidable candidate for 2016,” insuring his position with the lobbyists that he shares with Hillary Clinton. Said McCain:

“I don’t think there’s any doubt she has widespread support. Her work as secretary of state, with the exception of this issue of Benghazi — which isn’t going away — I think has been outstanding. I think she would be viewed by anyone, Republican or Democrat, as a very formidable candidate for 2016.”

McCain also called Vice President Biden a “wonderful guy.”

jsmfr's picture

Moron, the reporters get the statement early in the lock-up so they can write their stories ahead of time. Then there is a pre-determined time after 2:00 PM that they are allowed to transmit their stories.  I am sure that seven minutes is comfortably after that time.  While Hilsenrath may be a tool of the Fed, you really need to stop banging on about how long it takes him to get a story out after the FOMC and spend your time writing about things that matter.

Palladin's picture

You are correct. While I don't consider the Huffington Post to be the best source of information, here's an article that pretty much covers it.


From the article:

The Fed also operates media lock-ups when its policymaking committee meets eight times a year, although the procedures are less strict than at Labor and the Commerce Department.

Reporters are prohibited from bringing cellphones into the lockups. Labor is even more strict. It recently installed lockers outside the room where reporters must stow all personal items — including their pens and calculators.

Fed officials work on an honor system. The Fed's policy statement is distributed 10 minutes early to reporters at their desks in the press room at Treasury. Internet and phone lines are not disconnected, and cellphones are not collected. The Fed has similar procedures for a separate lockup held at its headquarters.

And I'm sure all the reporters respect the Honor System that the Fed has set up.

Running On Bingo Fuel's picture


Talking about hate, when I down vote this dam website does an entire page refresh. It's like WTF wasteful. Plus it doesn't even return to the current comment.

It seems like Sacrilege implemented AJAX in the comment box below, but he can't do it for voting?! Good grief.

Anyway. Over.

NotApplicable's picture

Something, somewhere has changed recently. That behavior seems to be browser specific.

StychoKiller's picture

Just a "glitch" in the Matrix...move along...

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

copy the entire page of comments into an email.
Filter out the links for 'vote up' or 'vote down'
open them 1 at a time or slam them into a folder for bookmarks and "open in all tabs"

Socialized Losses's picture

Off topic and out of context but here we go.

Can we just sit round and let them kill the obamacare girl? She doesn't deserve internetassination just because overpriced sickcare is nothing she needs.  Did they kill her? Where was hillary in the last 24hrs? Or them other outrageous killers like gb dc rm.

stinkhammer's picture

i bet he lasts 7 minutes at home too