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LAX Shooting Update: Gunman Killed By Law Enforcement

Tyler Durden's picture




 

And just like that, the shooter, who may or may not have been an off-duty NSA agent (inconclusive data for now), is also dead.

 

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Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:22 | 4112614 Dollar Bill Hiccup
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Dead men tell no tales ...

And since there was a pre written script, he doesn't have to!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:27 | 4112643 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Hell yea!  Stick to the script.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:33 | 4112653 knukles
knukles's picture

.... his body was taken to the US aircraft carrier Reagan where it was given a respectful burial at sea... ...no photographs were allowed respecting his rights under HIPPA and....   ... consdieration being given to the privacy of his family, no details concerning the alleged shooter have been nor will be released....  ... His name was George Zimmerman....

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:36 | 4112670 Looney
Looney's picture

How did the NSA allow this shit to happen? ;-) Fuckers!

Looney

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:43 | 4112707 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Apparently he was in custody for over 2 hours before they realized he was dead...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:46 | 4112726 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I think the story should read "TSA agent", not "NSA agent".

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:50 | 4112738 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

freudian slip ?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:50 | 4112747 redpill
redpill's picture

Was his name Yeswecan Yeswecan?

 

Forward!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:59 | 4112795 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Airport Chief of Police just stated that he didn't want to give out any facts that they may have to change later on..., strange.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:26 | 4112932 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Funny. I have always been taught to "shoot to stop the threat", not "keep shooting until he's dead".

Because, you know, otherwise you would be opening yourself up to possible criminal or civil liability if you drew a prosecutor who was looking to make a name for him- or herself.

Funny how rarely you see the cops go up on those kind of charges in these false-flag, er I mean, "terrorist" shootings.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:33 | 4112989 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

CNN and the BlowHorn [CNBC] saying the gunman is still alive.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:37 | 4113007 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

I heard he was pissed that he was getting is work time cut to below 30 hours a week and that his healthcare premiums were tripling.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:51 | 4113319 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Fortunately, he is as dead as that mass murderer and threat to all life on the planet who was driving around a traffic circle in DC.  Did that story drop into the memory hole, or wut?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:34 | 4113260 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

He's a kind of Schrodinger gunman; alive and dead at the same time.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:12 | 4113158 flyingcaveman
flyingcaveman's picture

They can usually say for certain that it "isn't terroism" when its is clear by their non-answers that they don't know or are forbidden to say shit.

 

EDIT: Also, facts don't change, perhaps somebody should point that out to him.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:35 | 4113268 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

educated in North America; he can't speak English, and doesn't know how to think Logically.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:02 | 4114310 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

If they are facts, then you don't have to change them because they are, ya know, facts.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:52 | 4112762 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

We can always hope

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:14 | 4113180 Mitch Comestein
Mitch Comestein's picture

Funniest dam thing I have read in months.  

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:29 | 4112952 lotusblue
lotusblue's picture

The ECONOMICS of NSA cost/Homeland security HAVE ZERO CORROLATION WITH PREVENTING ATTACKS-well excpt for drone strikes over there somewhere of course.

 We all see the BRUTALITY of our security aparacheks  !

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:34 | 4112671 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

Two less TSA, not the way I want it to happen, but a start nonetheless...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:38 | 4112684 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

So, these are the terrorists that protect the public from...terrorists?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:46 | 4112719 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Okay that's an old lawyer joke:

Q: What do you call all the TSA agents in the world sitting on the bottom of the sea?

A: A good start.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:32 | 4113253 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Certainly a step in the right direction.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:32 | 4113249 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

but, but; could he have been Obamma's son? The world wants to know.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:39 | 4112687 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Didnt the other tweet say 'suspect now in custody'? Oops. Ministry of False Flags made a slip up

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:23 | 4112616 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

good riddance.. these crazy people - http://hedge.ly/17C1S6Y 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:29 | 4112622 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture

Project Pork Shank

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:24 | 4112624 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Is that his last name?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:46 | 4112710 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Pork Shank..., no.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:26 | 4112631 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Shouldn't it read, "Gunman Employed by Law Enforcement"?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:28 | 4112634 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Well at least he doesn't have to worry about falling out of any helicopters, or being burnt to a crisp in a cabin.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:55 | 4112755 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Maybe they went FBI on him, blew his head off during questioning?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:21 | 4113219 4 wheel drift
4 wheel drift's picture

Well at least he doesn't have to worry about falling out of any helicopters, or being burnt to a crisp in a cabin.

 

or worse....   like dealing with o'bambaScare !

 

wheu!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:27 | 4112635 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Two.. TWO dead TSA agents..

AH-HA-HA-HA...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:28 | 4112645 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Green arrow whenever somebody uses a Sesame Street reference in a very innappropriate way.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:21 | 4112910 B.J. Worthy
B.J. Worthy's picture

Thanks for reminding me of the classic "Ernie/Bert do the Pesci/DeNiro desert scene from Casino"

NSFW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NShgvtEro7I

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:46 | 4112720 aerojet
aerojet's picture

This is so not cool.  

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:41 | 4113024 DOT
DOT's picture

If the same TSA dies twice is it'

Dead TSA X 2       or,

Dead TSA2            ?

 

 

 

 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:28 | 4112637 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"off-duty NSA agent"

Wait, I thought it was an off-duty TSA agent.  Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:29 | 4112649 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Yeah but now someone at CNBS who reads ZH will be reporting that according to sources it really was a NSA agent.

That would rock.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:32 | 4112983 lotusblue
lotusblue's picture

cougar_w - thanks for best honest laugh of day !

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:28 | 4112638 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

What's better than a busload of TSA workers going over a cliff?

Wait. Wait. Wait for it...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:31 | 4112654 monad
monad's picture

Gold at 50k. Wait. Wait. Wait for it... 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:09 | 4112852 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Bro you fucked up my delivery.

Over!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:28 | 4112640 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

A busload of TSA workers going over a cliff followed by a busload of NSA workers!

Ha! Gotcha.

Over.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:28 | 4112641 monad
monad's picture

Too convenient. What news is there that might be important, that the MSM won't be covering today? 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:18 | 4112894 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Excellent avatar, monad. How have I not noticed it before. Really, quite perfect.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:28 | 4112947 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Ketchup Kerry is having a press conference regarding $2billion missing at the pentagon.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:35 | 4113000 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

How do they know, I thought the military was too big to aduit. And $2Bil. is Way low.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:27 | 4112642 RyanW525
RyanW525's picture

yup...he was never gonna have the ability to speak....

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:29 | 4112644 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

The Mounties always get their man.dfwu.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:31 | 4112652 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Well at least this wasn't at JFK.  The cops there probably would have wiped out every passenger in range.  On the other hand, we'd know who the shooter was by now because they would have found his passport already...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:42 | 4112699 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

NYC le training is that once you start sqeezing the trigger keep going till you are out of clips.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:21 | 4112912 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Magazines. They are called MAGAZINES.

A "clip" is what you put into your Mosin-Nagant, or your Springfield.

On ZH, at least, I would expect better.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:31 | 4112656 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Let me guess...he shot himself in the back of the head a couple of times?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:36 | 4112679 knukles
knukles's picture

... hands cuffed behind his back, strapped face up to a stretcher, having been Tazed into unconsciousness and disemboweled by a TSA employee in order to ensure the safety of future generations of children in Mozambique who will be given H1-B visas as sex workers in the greater DC area as part of the Grand Budget Bargain and Immigration Package yet to be negotiated....

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:44 | 4112704 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Reads like a Tarantino script. Bruce Willis will want to be the stoic TSA anti-hero.

$180M the first weekend at theaters.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:12 | 4112870 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

This made me pee myself laughing.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:33 | 4112661 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

terrorist or muppet, we may never know

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:33 | 4112663 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

IT WAS A DRILL.
100% fake.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:37 | 4112682 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Let’s roll out the importance of the new immigration bill passage. LOL

Shalom Amerika!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:38 | 4112683 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

CNN: "The fear is palpable"

Oh, and LOOK and the goddamn TRAFFIC!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:39 | 4112686 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

NSA agent?  The plot thickens.

Sounds like a false flag event that went afoul to me.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:46 | 4112724 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Barry is 100% UNAWARE of this i am sure..

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:59 | 4112799 knukles
knukles's picture

.... suspected gunman visited ooffice 17 time in last 6 months revealed as shredded diary pages taped back together by infant school children in Kenya in exchange for powdered milk substitute...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:02 | 4113367 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

you need a vacation; I think you're getting an overdose of Amerika Reality.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:52 | 4112760 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Sorry for the dead (even though they're with the Toilet Safety Administration), but you just watch what will happen next.  This "crisis", whether of the manufactured False Flag kind or not, will be used by some sleazebag fucktard politicians to introduce a bill to arm the TSA.

Then we'll have glorified security guard child molestors and theives fully armed not only in our airports, but also out on the streets conducting illegal traffic stops and searches at check points, major buildings and businesses, all major sporting events, concerts, or other large events, and pretty much damn near anywhere else they will feel like violating our Constitutional rights.

Next thing you know there will be more shootings when these low IQ retards decide it's okay to shoot everyone first and ask no questions later because they're protected by this Marxist government.  There will be more blood from this folks, you can damn well bet on it.

All just another step towards obama's stated goal of having a homeland civilian army that's just as powerful and just as well funded as our military forces.  Get it???  He needs as many of these retards armed and dispersed everywhere in the country to further create a chilling effect on the sheeple.  It's one big massive psy-op to condition the populace to get used to living under a pseudo martial law and quell any mass uprisings while they continue to disarm as many patriots as they can. 

And then there's this: 

Gov Targets Ammo Supply Lines: Prices to Rise Sharply As America’s Last Lead Supplier Calls It Quits

http://www.shtfplan.com/headline-news/gov-targets-ammo-supply-lines-prices-to-rise-sharply-as-americas-last-lead-supplier-calls-it-quits_11012013

 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:04 | 4112820 knukles
knukles's picture

And that's how Obie gets the domestic army he promised... larger and better equipped that the one used to fight wars...

... remember, he said that was one of his visions...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:02 | 4113374 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

SORRY FOR THE DEAD ! Fuck sorry for the dead. I'm glad they're dead. you hear me. Glad. now there's only 2 million to go. Get it straight; for Christs sake; these  are the enemy.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:01 | 4112802 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

One of these is not like the other?

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