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The Number Of Days In Which JPMorgan Lost Money Trading In 2013 Is...

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... visually:

And compare the "New Normal" to the "Old Normal"


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Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:38 | 4111496 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Fuck you Jamie

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:42 | 4111515 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Number of days in 2013 in which the Fed was removing excess liquidity from the system:



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:44 | 4111534 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture


All of the gambling cheats know that you need to throw in a small loss every once in a while.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:45 | 4111541 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

when you ARE the casino, you always make money.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:49 | 4111557 semperfi
semperfi's picture

house hits blackjack for 304th time in a row - you lose

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:52 | 4111575 gold-is-not-dead
gold-is-not-dead's picture

that tape needs to be painted by someone

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:17 | 4111654 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

These guys are good..., what can you say?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:51 | 4111738 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture



Kentucky Derby management owns race track.

Kentucky Derby management owns 1 horse.

Only 1  horse allowed to race.

Judges and timekeepers are paid off.

Track officials are paid off.

Public can only make 1 bet:  That the horse will lose.

Track owners short the publics' bet, go double long that it will win.

Gambling public left stunned.

Track owners laughing their asses off.

Mayor of city where track is located holds PR conference, says he may shorten track, or lengthen track, or trim green chutes around edges, or not trim green chutes around edges, or taper corners, or not taper corners, or provide new exit gate, or close exit gate.

Public analyzes Mayors' words and feel comforted in the clarity.

Media prints articles on how smart Mayor is.


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:55 | 4111760 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

Central Planning is great....IF you're in the center.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:21 | 4111859 Truthseeker2
Truthseeker2's picture

“The trade secrets pertain to money laundering, fraudulent bond issuance, influence peddling of debt ratings agencies, collusion with regulatory bodies, maintenance of double book accounting, insider trading with JPMorgan & Goldman Sachs, and financial genocide of hedge funds. Those are trade secrets worthy of keeping secret and protecting.”


The FOUR HORSEMEN Herald the Death Knell of Predatory Capitalism

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 14:24 | 4112618 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

NSA & Fedres on the team bitchez

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:42 | 4112449 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

Counterfeiting is great - IF you're (very close to) the counterfeiter and aren't subject to any law enforcement...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:22 | 4111862 richsob
richsob's picture

This is allegorical genius!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:31 | 4112126 Basilian
Basilian's picture

That is great.



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:25 | 4112347 LibertyForSome
LibertyForSome's picture

JPM-C is reporting 0 (zero) net-negative trading sessions through three quarters of 2013.

For fun, let's try a paper napkin probabilistic analysis of the above statement…


 451 / 500 companies in S&P are net-positive YTD, according to USA Today article dated 10/28/2013.
Alternatively, 90.2% of companies in the S&P index are winners in 2013 [so far].

For the sake of conservatism,  I’m going to assume that JPM-C has a phenomal securities-assessment team, and their chance of making a trading profit in any 1 day actually better than that average would indicate… let’s say 95% chance to profit in daily trading activities. 

This probability seems exuberantly high at first glance, until you recall that this is the accepted value for all centrally-planned business models.

22 trading days/month   *   9 months reported in 2013    =    198 trading sessions in 2013

Assuming that the chance of earning a trading profit (versus loss) is 95% on any one day, then the odds 198 consecutive trading days without posting a loss is:

 ( 0.95 ) 198 trading sessions   =  3.88 x 10-5    or    once in every 25,773 years

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:26 | 4112370 LibertyForSome
LibertyForSome's picture

Possible sources of error include 0.95 accepted value for chance-to-profit, when experimental value is 1.00, and anecdotal value is 1.20 (accounts for those pesky, unprofitbale trades being cancelled days after execution). 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:53 | 4111577 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Number of days that JPM reportedly lost money due to fines for breaking the law:

Number of days JPM actually lost money because they really paid the fine rather than having the Fed "pay" it for them:

(These are the bonus questions to Tyler's exam)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:16 | 4111830 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I watched Inside Job (2010) again last night, and it still blew my mind and made my blood boil.

Its the end of the line. PEAK CORRUPTION is here and now.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:47 | 4111955 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

Companies don't pay fines. Shareholders and customers do.

Jamie Dimon couldn't give a flying fuck about fines.



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:48 | 4112466 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

He lives a charmed life.....NOT.  SOB.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:52 | 4111567 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

I was speaking to a JPM bond trader last year at a social function who traded the house account. This 30 something kid made over a million dollars a year. When i probed him on where the money really came from, he really didn't know.

I'll be honest, i was a little pissed and jealous

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:55 | 4111585 semperfi
semperfi's picture

If you sell your soul to the devil you can get very rich in this current environment.  If you are a moral person and play by the rules you will break even most of the time and maybe get lucky a few times.  If you are a moral person and try to oppose the devil you will get crushed.  The bad guys have the upper hand and will so for a long time.  The good guys don't have the fortitude and courage right now to rise up - they are still too comfortable.  Many dark years ahead with no end in sight.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:40 | 4111718 SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

For the record, most of these traders are not bad guys.   They are smart and aggressive and they happen to be lucky to sit in a seat at a place like JPM where even a monkey could print several million dollars in profit.    That is the value of the flow.   When you have that much flow - trillions in notional -  all you have to do is do your job and capture your bid/ask spread, and do okay.

It's not that simple, of course.  The fact is that trading in these places can be one of the most stressful jobs imaginable at times.  There is a reason why most traders are young.  It burns you up.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:05 | 4111791 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

"most of these traders are not bad guys."

At JPM, the squid, and the Fed?  Really?  They've sold their soul, but they're 'not bad guys'?   Please continue your rationalizing.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:24 | 4111865 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Smart, aggressive and lucky? LOL.

How about brainwashed, mean, nasty and brutish? They don't give a fuck who they runover as long as they make the cash.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:56 | 4111994 SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

I know many of these guys well.   Some are scumbags, some are probably sociopaths, but on the whole, that is really a small minority, especially among the junior staff, which is typically plucked from undergrad or B-school and goes through a rigorous HR process that tries to weed out people whose elbows are too sharp.   Senior mgmt has more of an edge overall, but this idea they everyone has bought into a grand plan of evil is ridiculous.  

They have been handed a golden ticket by the system.   They have a huge balance sheet and access to almost free money.  You can't blame a smart kid for passing up a hard science/research job making $125K/yr when he can sit on a trading desk making $200K/yr plus a bonus potentially several times that.

Not to be too frivolous, but this is actually applicable:  don't hate the playa, hate the game

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:29 | 4112120 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Well, isn't that just Jim Dandy? Why dont you ask them some real fucking questions and pin them down over their hypocrisy of working with the biggest crooks to ever walk the planet? You ever think of trying to wake them up?

Seriously dude, your lame brain dead rationalizations and excuses for corruption and financial crimes against humanity is breathtaking.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:35 | 4112064 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

> If you are a moral person and play by the rules ...


Whose rules? If you are a moral person and play by the devil's rules - are you still moral - or have you sold off a little of your soul to stay in the game?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:57 | 4111583 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Widespread fraud on Wall Street is back. Subprime-like and internet bubble Bloget-like fraud is back.

R. W. Baird & Co upgrades NFLX and invents new valuation metric, subscribers per share, to justify bubble-like valuation of the stock that the firm (employee owned firm, no conflict of interest) is holding/trading.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:33 | 4111693 max2205
max2205's picture

Easy to win when you get fridays newspaper on thursday

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:55 | 4111754 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Most likely the firm traders had the Friday newspaper on Monday. They will be unloading today into the spike what they bought during the week.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:05 | 4111618 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

That's right "House Rules".  Literally.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:46 | 4111542 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



The house never loses money.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:05 | 4111794 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Satan's House.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:29 | 4111889 Satan
Satan's picture

It's not like we let anyone in you know...we do have some standards down here.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:38 | 4111717 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

.    .


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:45 | 4111539 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

They simply have the best traders in the world, that's all

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:00 | 4111606 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:42 | 4111528 PP
PP's picture

why not small traders place order in Comex to demand delivery in Dec, and explode that shit CME group and JP morgan?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:53 | 4111572 semperfi
semperfi's picture

or why not China, Russia, Turkey and the rest of Asia slowly, steadily buying Western gold at current cheap paper prices to maximize the amount of gold transferred from West to East

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:56 | 4111589 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

That would be political. 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:07 | 4111626 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

As a Marine, didn't you swear an oath to prevent such actions from happening?  Where do the Green Berets stand on all this?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:31 | 4111691 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

All of those "brave men and women in uniform" have absolutely no intention of "keeping their oaths."
They are interested in their pensions, nothing more, just like every bus driver and municipal clerk.
They are not going to "save us."

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:00 | 4111780 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Semper fideles vanitatis meae.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:57 | 4111600 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Do you really blame a private enterprise for taking advantage of the opportunities they have or do you blame the quasi governmental organ (FED) and the actual government (Treasury and regulators) who give that private enterprise those opportunities?  If you blame the real culprits then you must also accept responsibility yourself since the enablers are put in place by elected representatives and you are a voter.

Yeah, it's easier to blame Jamie and deflect.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:05 | 4111792 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

If you actually think that JPMorgan is a private enterprise then I don't know what to tell you. You've got some reading to do.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:52 | 4111975 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

This ^^^^^^ times a zillion.

JP Morgan is no more a private entity than the DMV.

It is nominally a private firm, but that's just semantics. It operates at the most corrupt nexus of corporate rule-bending and pervasive political corruption. That cunt Dimon should be strung up like a common thief, which is all he is. Him and his gang of accomplices at the other big four, and their front organization, the Fed.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:24 | 4112099 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture




i tried to upvote but it didn't register.  

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:16 | 4112327 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

 you're just jealous you only win 99 out of 100

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:53 | 4111976 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Jamie says "Wall Street is not rigged. Reality is rigged". 

Well...still "fuck you" Jamie!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:39 | 4111502 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Pretty good evidence of a rigged market.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:43 | 4111522 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture


Unless of course one of your data feeds is the NSA.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:42 | 4111523 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Tis good to be a market maker, yah ?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:45 | 4111536 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Good heavens no!

0 days losses is perfect

no man or men are perfect

only God is perfect

ERGO: JP Morgan are doing God's work.

And here we were all thinking it was only Goldman Sachs...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:59 | 4111551 semperfi
semperfi's picture

fixed it

Pretty good evidence of a Western elitist-fascist govt system soon to turn Marxist and confiscate the wealth of good hard-working moral people who for the most part just passively stand by and let them get away with it.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:07 | 4111624 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Nah, they're just impossibly good....!


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:40 | 4111507 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

And that's why he's "richer than you" -  must be all the "real value" JPM is adding to the U.S. eCONomy...


roll the motherfucking guillotines

absolutely nothing changes otherwise, same as it ever was.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:41 | 4111508 Jason T
Jason T's picture

what a disgusting way to make money.  

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:40 | 4111509 Racer
Racer's picture

And who is on the other side of these 100% winning trades....

One big fat reason to GTFO of this con of a 'market'

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:43 | 4111510 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It must be nice to control the money supply. Soon we will find that the morgue will have had '0' trading losses in 380 out of 365 days.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:31 | 4111690 g'kar
g'kar's picture

It's because of those 57 out of 50 states.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:41 | 4111516 Pemaquid
Pemaquid's picture

They are sealing their own coffins.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:43 | 4111532 semperfi
semperfi's picture

they are sealing our coffins

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:42 | 4111518 SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

Is this clean or dirty P&L?   I would expect the dirty P&L to be positive close to 100% of the time.  Especially in a period of rising asset values.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:53 | 4111569 SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

For those unfamiliar with the lingo above, "clean" P&L refers to your P&L during the day strictly from the risk positions you had on your books the previous night.  So how would you have done if you had stayed home and not touched your book.

"Dirty" P&L includes the day's activities, including client trades.   JPM has plenty of flow, so you would expect them to make money on a daily basis off market making, and that P&L is usually included in dirty P&L. 

So for a big bank, you would expect dirty P&L to almost always be positive, except for days when either their risk positions really performed badly or they had some disastrous client deal.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:43 | 4111524 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Number of days J.P.M. lost money commiting FRAUD in 2013. ALL>

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:43 | 4111530 semperfi
Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:44 | 4111531 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

WOW!! That is fucking AWESOME! Its almost like its too good to be true- why, the last firm to have a "can't-lose" record like that was Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:47 | 4111546 DOT
DOT's picture

Too Big To Fail.


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:29 | 4111887 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Too Big To Bail.


Just put some bullets in it and let it sink faster.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:45 | 4111537 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Completely a trading environment that is anything but free of manipulation...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:45 | 4111545 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

...And how rigged is this market? I can tell you on open EXACTLY where the market will close - How? Because Fed algos have no imagination - Here goes:

Gold will close at 1298, Spy will close at 1770 - 10 year closes at 2.56 <mark the post>


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:50 | 4111562 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

So noted.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:39 | 4111714 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Spy's got a lot of work ahead of it. (176.02).

I call bullshit anyway.


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:49 | 4111552 SandiaMan
SandiaMan's picture

I'm sure Holder is on it!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:49 | 4111553 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

I'm sure JPM will attribute this streak to simply being "locked-in", just like Big Papi during the WS.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:57 | 4111596 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Even David made a few outs. 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:50 | 4111554 toady
toady's picture

It's hard to lose money when you are handed a substantial portion of 850B a month.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:49 | 4111558 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

They had a big hole to dig out of after 2012's London Whale losses.  So they called up the Fed and asked for a winning year.  It was granted.  And when the Fed grants a winning year, like all government programs, that means WIN ALL YEAR.  Not just on average, or most days.  Every freaking day of the year.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:53 | 4111563 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

Days the bottom 90% of US population lost money via the Fed's activities last quarter - 100%...correlation???

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:03 | 4111610 Rainman
Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:10 | 4111634 toady
toady's picture

Fuck ya! Starve them muthafucas out!

That's one way to win the war on the poor.

They're all worthless and weak!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:38 | 4111712 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

My major concern is that the bankers don't suffer. We need the trickling on us now more than ever.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:53 | 4111568 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

I've heard JPM runs a complex macro.


Buy the market, sell to the Fed, but not too much at a time - someone might figure it out.


Lather rinse repeat.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:56 | 4111581 falak pema
falak pema's picture

So bottom line; multiply that fine for dishonesty that they don't want to pay anyway by 10! 

It goes from 13 B to 130 B; there, I feel better.

And don't let Congress or Supreme Oligarchy creamy froth Court change the popular verdict by one iota.

The people know how to COUNT while the oligarchs know how to plug C****, ass***** all.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:10 | 4112295 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Wait, sorry - what exactly is C**** and ass***** ?
Is that cocks and assholes? Why are they plugging cocks? I don't understand.
So they are "plug cocks, asshole all?"

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 07:40 | 4114893 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

You seized my funnybone.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 09:59 | 4111601 WallowaMountainMan
WallowaMountainMan's picture

"The Number Of Days In Which JPMorgan Lost Money Trading In 2013 Is...0"


does that include legal trades?



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:01 | 4111608 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

So that's why I see nothing but brand spanking new bank branches popping up everywhere. 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:06 | 4111620 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

You mean bank FORTRESSES. they better start putting gun turrets on the roof. They're gonna need them soon.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:03 | 4111615 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Wow these guys are really really good at this trading shit. I wonder if their shit doesn't stink too.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:06 | 4111625 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

And the chances of you doing this for yourself are…….Let’s just say it’s less than the chance of the sun blowing up tomorrow.

Now I understand what Wall Street means when it says “Everything is fixed now”.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:10 | 4111632 therover
therover's picture

There is ZERO risk when ZERO percent of the money you use to gamble with is yours.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:11 | 4111633 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Artists. Con Artists.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 21:43 | 4111637 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Capitaine Renault never writes a bad trading ticket.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:14 | 4111643 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

When you're stealing and robbing 24x7x365, it truly is hard to lose money...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:18 | 4111659 CHX
CHX's picture

It's pretty good to be "the market".

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:32 | 4111694 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Same number of healthy people who signed up for Obamacare

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:02 | 4111697 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Glad the meritocracy that is WS is performing like a fine sports car.

Now if we could just stop those obese welfare frauds from parking in the handicapped parking spaces while talking on their Obama-phones


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:33 | 4111698 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

Ask a kid what he wants to be today. The high IQ ones say,  "Banker" ior maybe "Hedge Fund Manager."

The others say, "Gubmint worker."

Very few kids want to be engineers, lawyers, doctors, small businessmen, etc anymore.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:40 | 4111721 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

There will be pockets of change, kinda like when manufacturing engineering took off for a year or two, but basically kids will go where the growth is and the money.

They have been conditioned so, which might not be the worst.

The issues comes when an industry is so welfared up that they can outbid other industries without any financial consequence.  Long term we are killing our country.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:57 | 4111769 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

Classic capital and labor misallocation.

Subsidized areas do not send proper price signals so that prople can make efficient allocation decisions.

Disability, the MIC, the health care industry, banking, and government careers are all throwing off distorted price signals due to subsidy.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:37 | 4111711 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Number of days casino loses money



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:39 | 4111713 Segestan
Segestan's picture

Number of days the USA made money...... ZERO!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:39 | 4111715 Heffer
Heffer's picture

Reminds me of my commodities pit trading days, come to work and make money every day, plain and simple.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:42 | 4111726 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Have computers had any negative effect on the amounts you could earn since then?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:41 | 4111723 JailBanksters
JailBanksters's picture

But how could not make money if your a Wall St Bank?

You control and print your own Monopoly Money at a cost of , well nuttin'. And then sell it for anything from 5% to 30% interest to the Muppets of the World.

The Banks know their Money is absolutely worthless, it's just everybody that still thinks it has value. You can then take the  worthless Monopoly Money not worth the money it's not printed on and exchange it for assets with value. A Dollar or a Trillion Dollars it has the same value as far as the Banks are concerned, the only thing that matters is Hard Assets of any Description.


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:42 | 4111727 Racer
Racer's picture

They are so confident that they can get away with all fraud now that they are not even disguising it with even one token losing day!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:43 | 4111729 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

Number of SEC analysts that can't spot the outlier on a graph when it occurs for every large Wall St. trading desk quarter after quarter after quarter.....

1023 (all of them)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:45 | 4111731 Hank Reardon
Hank Reardon's picture

Tossers. Just complete a'hole tossers.

Nothing to see here. Move along..move along sheeple. Fleecing this way>>>

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:47 | 4111733 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

This will last a lot longer than most realize. All hail our new masters and our betters.

English villages were mostly free for a couple of hundred years after Rome fell, but gradually the majority became bound to the land and the lord. They did this viluntarily for the most part.

Depending soley on one's own harvest is fraught with peril. However the manor lord would see you thru hard times if you promised him your sword, your labor, and your posterity. Being a villein was a much easier life for the bottom 47 percent than freedom. Those on the bottom will gladly trade their freedom for comfortable servitude.

Freedom to make one's own decisions is not valued much by those who feel they cant benefit from it.

We may have several centuries of bonded servitude ahead of us. A much softer bondage, but freedom is not valued highly by many. They will get what they want.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:50 | 4111744 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

The antidote to crony capitalist/big government neofeudalism is a Maker Society. Drop out of their world.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:52 | 4111751 FranSix
FranSix's picture

You remove all of the lemons from a slot machine reel so that it only comes up cherries and roses, pulling the lever thousands of times a second, and all the nickels in the world will come your way. Funny how no trading losses are showing up after the divestment of all your eligible gold in yhe COMEX warehouse.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:53 | 4111755 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Obviously JPM runs all potentially losing trades through the Obamacare website.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 10:58 | 4111775 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

They said that same garbage while building the whale trade.  And I am pretty sure QE3+4 was forced early as a smokescreen just to cover those losses.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:03 | 4111786 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

How could you possibly lose anything when you have muppets, puppets, strings, and puppetiers?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:06 | 4111793 spenny
spenny's picture

competition is a sin!!


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:10 | 4111809 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It's an easy result to achieve if you are prepared to pay $13 billion in fines.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:17 | 4111842 jtz5
jtz5's picture

If this doesn't suggest a top, nothing will...

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Investors worldwide poured $12.4 billion into stock funds in the latest week, extending record inflows into the funds this year to $231 billion, data from a Bank of America Merrill Lynch Global Research report showed Friday.

The inflows into stock funds in the week ended October 30 marked the third straight week of investors seeking more risk in stocks, data from the report showed. The report also cited data from fund-tracker EPFR Global.

The $231 billion inflows into stock funds this year, which are the most since records began in 2002, have dwarfed the previous record inflow of $69 billion in 2010, according to Bank of America Merrill Lynch. The surge also trounced last year's inflows of $36 billion.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:27 | 4111883 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

Its impossible to lose money, when you gamble with other peoples money.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:45 | 4111951 monad
monad's picture

<- Beaten too much as children

<- Not beaten at all / enough

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:49 | 4111962 squexx
squexx's picture

I look forward to the day they hunt the tribe that is responsible for all this down on the streets!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:50 | 4111964 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

While not a true 1-to-1 ratio - every dollar that JPM makes either comes out of the pocket of another big foreign or domestic bank that is subsidized by the Fed, or comes out of the pocket of a person or business on main street, or is simply added to the National Debt or the Fed Balance Sheet.  There is no capex, no new factories, no employment, or anything else positive that is generated except higher commodity prices, higher energy prices, higher home prices, and lower yields every place for main street savers.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:56 | 4111991 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

When you have Web botz on the payroll, the future is now....right Jamie 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 11:58 | 4111999 Harry Paratestes
Harry Paratestes's picture

PLEASE!!! Stop calling it Trading and the fucks who work there Traders.................seriously!!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:07 | 4112033 steveo77
steveo77's picture

SPX futures pinging off the Bernoulli 133 channel line 
When the chart "pings" off an important channel line, that gives a lot of credibility to the channel. Futures ES is shown here, with a perfect ping off the Bernoulli 133 channel line extension.  
Bernoulli channels (my creation) are like Fibonacci, but they take into account uptrends and downtrends, i.e. headwinds and tailwinds, organic buying and selling amidst the trading moves. 
As predicted a few days ago, I expect a move to 1700 to the Bernoulli mid channel line, the B50. bernoulli-133.html

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:13 | 4112053 cdude
cdude's picture

These days......"Smart" money = "Insider informed" money.

Gov't==>Fed==>PD banks

                       <== <== <==  <==

One big incestuous circle jerk to which the muppets are not invited.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:56 | 4112214 Seeking Aphids
Seeking Aphids's picture

The BBC is reporting on the suspension of FX traders at Barclay Bank in the UK as investigations into possible rigging of currency markets gear long will it take for regulators to look into the strange goings-on in the gold market, I wonder? Or is that not an area of concern for regulators??  Nothing to see here, move along...........

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:13 | 4112062 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Trading..... or Traitoring? They face zero downside risk there, too


Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:18 | 4112070 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Does that include lawsuits?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:27 | 4112113 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

If you think that is amazing wait until you see what Jamie can do to your 401(k) in just a short time!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 12:29 | 4112117 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Let me guess....

is it 0 again?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 13:15 | 4112319 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

 Those are highly educated men running jpm, they wear ties, and they pat their dogs on the head as they leave their mansions.


 of course they always win.



Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:42 | 4113512 Itch
Itch's picture

Number of days they didn't book a loss, more like it; infinitely more worrying. 

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