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Who Are The Biggest Whiskey Drinkers In The World?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Hint: it's not the Irish.

In retrospect, considering India has one of the highest inflation rates in the EM world, a plunging currency and the local central government has made purchases of gold - either foreign or domestic - virtually impossible, converting one's deflating liquid net worth into liquid alcohol for immediate consumption, with a utility that is instant and needs no discounting, is probably not a bad idea. Finally unlike gold, one can drink whiskey,

 

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Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:43 | 4113041 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

should be per capita no?

there are a damn lot of indians...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:49 | 4113071 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Actuallly I think they drink more in Laos but that's a to small country.
Also the whiskey they drink in india is so weak.... you can drink a bottle and don't get drunk.
You try to do that with a good chivaz and you'll piss your pants

So whiskey isn't always whiskey.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:58 | 4113107 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Indian army dudes, especially the older ones, drink a shitload of whiskey.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:08 | 4113154 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Come on, you bitchez!  Be a patriot!  Go get yourself a bottle of Jack and get fucked up tonight!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:11 | 4113169 Thoth
Thoth's picture

Finally, one graph on here that I can help swing in favor of the good old US of A! Whiskey for dinner!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:19 | 4113205 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Pah! I've met loads of Indian whiskey drinkers. None of them were especially big.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:56 | 4113281 falak pema
falak pema's picture

rasputin, rasputin...

Do you think Putin is Ras's son ready to be immortalised in alcohol one day?

Maybe we should ask Boris...he is sure to have an answer that tears dirty underwear! 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:30 | 4113739 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

My all time favorite: Woodford Reserve Whiskey

Finally something we can export to Asia that's quality!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:49 | 4113806 putaipan
putaipan's picture

beware the BOOKER's ... there are malevolent spirits in there! possession ensues.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:07 | 4113925 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Good point. Let's export the Booker's and keep the Woodford for ourselves.

  :) it's Friday!

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 03:30 | 4114782 Prime Rib
Prime Rib's picture

Blanton's - great bourbon and best bottle design by far - you can drink it all and refill it with cheaper stuff to serve to your guests - and nobody will know - they'll be so busy admiring the little sculpture of horse and jockey on top!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:30 | 4113246 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

Agreed, I'm very disappointed in our standing on that graph. 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:29 | 4113732 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

If whiskey makes you frisky
And brandy makes you randy
What makes you pregnant?

A stiff Johnny Walker!!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 21:25 | 4114240 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

Personally, I am into the single malts. That would be Scotch Whisky (W/O the "e" between the k and y. KY is something entirely different and what is required to survive ObamaCare.)

I carried an empty bottle of 21 YO Springbank with me for 15 years. (It took only a day to empty it.) It was inscribed...."Malt does more than Milton can, to justify God's ways to man."

Johnny Walker is piss in general, although the blue and green aren't quite so noxious as the black and red.

The Scotch say....."a whisky bottle is a sad thing: it is too much for one, but not enough for two."

Benjamin Franklin - whom I admire greatly - utter something rather prosaic - rather unworthy of him - in went something like - 'beer is proof that God loves man.'

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:34 | 4114363 nevadan
nevadan's picture

If whiskey makes you frisky
And brandy makes you randy
What makes you pregnant?

A stiff Johnny Walker!!!

 

Actually, it's just a little Squirt  :)

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 12:49 | 4115362 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

@Troll: You don't know Jack! I on the other hand have had a long, rich and rewarding association. Jack runs in my blood! (Ushually, hic!, after five, except on weekends, when we start around taw-who.) Cheers! ;-)

(God rest you, Foster Brooks!)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:19 | 4113207 still kicking
still kicking's picture

I am going to have to disagree with you there.  I spent months in India I can promise you the stuff they make and sell as "whiskey" there is far more toxic than anything else you can get in the states but I wouldnt go so far as to actually classify it as whiskey.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:08 | 4113391 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Many "backstreet producers" use yeasts other than Saccharomyces cerevisiae var. ellipsoidus. There have been many well-publicised instances of methanol "contamination", arising from the use of such Industrial yeasts as Torula (Candida) utilis.

You are better off (and certainly safer) sticking to a genuine Scotch (preferably a good single-malt).

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:38 | 4114129 Freddie
Freddie's picture

There was a story on ZH about 6 months ago (?).  I think it was a TGIF restaurant in NJ or something where the liquour was all watered down or the mixed rubbing alcohol or something to save money.  Anyone remember that story?  Bad memory but not from drinking.

I cannot imagine what you might get in some of these places around the world especially China.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 01:24 | 4114690 fedupwhiteguy
Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:26 | 4114501 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

They are supposed to take a center cut in distillation. That is hou you get rid of the methanol and the fusel oil.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 03:27 | 4114781 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Yeasts do NOT produce Methanol!

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 03:54 | 4114792 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Not according to a former colleage (now Dr) Steve Greenaway. He did a very interesting Ph.D. on the ability of Torula utilis to produce methanol, under "certain conditions".

Which was rather interesting, 'cause Torula utilis is used commercially to metabolise methanol.  His was a very early application of the then "very new" science of Biotechnology, and he presented a paper at the very first European Conference on Biotechnology - "ECB1", so you can easily work out how long ago this was!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:51 | 4113079 Rainman
Rainman's picture

no, it makes sense... nobody drinks the water there

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:01 | 4113122 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Hopefully they have enough gold stashed to pay for the new livers.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:05 | 4113139 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Holy shit, that;s a Stiff's R Us, AND a Livers R Us in one country...

Uncle Warren, we need a loan..

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:03 | 4113131 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

I call Fucking Bullshit!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:09 | 4113155 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Lots of lies and misrepresentations are being told these days ...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:56 | 4113340 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Well played.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:16 | 4113197 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

I don't see "Mr. Pink and his invisible friends" anywhere on that graph.

I have to stop paying cash at the liquor store

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:40 | 4114368 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

 

 

If one is looking to identify...

The biggest drunks in the world...

Using just whiskey as a yardstick...

Is utterly assinine!

Use total "alcohol" consumption - regardless the type of drink!

Any Siberian vodka drinker could tell you that! Dumbshits!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:45 | 4113044 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Amazing; I never would have thought.  Is it really a case of them buying up cases as an inflation hedge or do they have a taste for it?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:10 | 4113163 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Probably a little bit of both.  It's NEVER a bad idea to hoard alcohol.  People want that shit.  Hell, I NEED that shit!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:34 | 4113258 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

I can see why they drink so much.  I've never met (in person) an Indian woman I would bone without first drinking gallons of liquor.  Even after that I'd have to be really, really hard up.

 

Was dat racsis?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:52 | 4113326 falak pema
falak pema's picture

hard up or hard on'd?  How do you meet anyone if its not in person?

What bone size do you adorn? If its T Longhorn bone you need to see an indian cow, if its normal rump bone you can go all in!

remember indians invented the holy cow and the monkey king; apart from a number of monkey positions.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:44 | 4113786 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Clearly, you haven't been out much. There are some beautiful asian & Indian women, but you might not find them at your local three-beers for $1 watering-hole.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:37 | 4113270 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the russians found a special use for it to preserve Rasputin's awesome jewelled dagger.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:44 | 4113045 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Indian guy has distillery that reproduced Ernest Shackleton's whiskey, found still "young" as preserved by the arctic cold.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:17 | 4113200 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

That's so epic, frosty, and kvlt.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:45 | 4113049 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Chart looks different since I quit.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:58 | 4113103 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Firewater or Fire Water?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:01 | 4113121 Buffalo Bones
Buffalo Bones's picture

Shitfaced or...nope, just shitfaced.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:00 | 4113111 Magnix
Magnix's picture

Same thing

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:43 | 4113297 css1971
css1971's picture

Whisky.

Whiskey is some new world bastardisation of the word. Or... we could extend and standardise the english alphabet and reduce the 1400 different spellings we have for the ~45 phonemes which make up english.

We could get rid of the ridiculous waste of time which is "learning to spell" and actually educate our children instead.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:52 | 4113325 More_sellers_th...
More_sellers_than_buyers's picture

usqebah

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:25 | 4113411 css1971
css1971's picture

ITYM "uisge", or "uisce"

Which happens to be the same as the Russian vodka. Both mean water.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:02 | 4113369 ATM
ATM's picture

Irish or Scotch?

 

I prefer me a wee bit of the Irish. A Midleton Very rare and the whole bottle please.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:46 | 4113525 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Irish do not drink much whiskey believe it or not,  but the older generation (as a sub group such as 50+) would drink a bit more admittedly.

I remember being at an Indian wedding in NJ and could not believe the amount of whisky that was being knocked back, especially amongst Sikhs. Maybe just for weddings, not sure...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:43 | 4114139 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Maybe they were just depressed because they lived in NJ. 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:45 | 4113054 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Anyone that hangs with me tonight.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:48 | 4113059 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Regional whiskey drinkers, f'em.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:47 | 4113065 thelibcentury
thelibcentury's picture

Is it me?

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 02:18 | 4114745 trembo slice
trembo slice's picture

haha, I was like... me?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:49 | 4113067 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

that explains a lot actually

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:49 | 4113076 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Finally unlike gold, one can drink whiskey...

GOLDSCHLAGER, BITCHEZ!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:12 | 4113166 xamax
xamax's picture

A German on ZH, Holy shit

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:57 | 4113082 superflex
superflex's picture

Goldschlager Bitchez.

Damn, too slow.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:52 | 4113328 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

Yeah me too. But there is more than just goldschlager.

http://www.google.com/search?q=gold+flake+liquor&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en...

Here is a fine selection. And you will shit gold for days.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:51 | 4113086 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Liquid gold, Carat determined by what you buy.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:56 | 4113091 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Go for the Johnny Walker Gold Label.

 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:01 | 4113118 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

The blue label frankly.. Also, how about the whisky drinkers? We need to see a chart for that too

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:23 | 4114484 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

I'll just stick with my Kopper Kettle.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:56 | 4113092 falak pema
falak pema's picture

If India were Moslem that problem would not exist but the downside is the bearded problem would be much worse in the largest democracy.

Man's psyche is a race between death by drowning in malt poison (amongst others) and death by drowning in God's faked retribution. As the population increases the downside does proportionally; we have lost our compass.

Luckily I don't belong to either clan. But I'm still full of poison, its our common legacy.

As we are all greeks on the verge of pauperisation one word come to mind : Eureka!

If only it found roots again.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:56 | 4113095 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

I like my whiskey like I like my women, at least 18 years old.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:01 | 4113124 SRVDisciple
SRVDisciple's picture

I sooo want to reply, but every amount of snark I can think of would put me on a federal watch list

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:39 | 4113287 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

CLASSIC...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:45 | 4113304 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Got it:

 

I like my whiskey like I like my women:

 

Blended with scotch and aged to peat flavor.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:21 | 4113702 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Sounds like you've had a few already

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:25 | 4113942 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Did you think it was a typo?

 

http://www.whisky.de/archiv/experts/peat.htm

 

But I am juss gettn started, we'll see how this weeks frustrations play out on the posts a little later on.

 

Cheers!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:05 | 4113386 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

Yep, I had to change it to 18 before I hit save.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:35 | 4113265 css1971
css1971's picture

There are some good 12 years.

Old Pulteney is light and aromatic. Very drinkable even if you don't generally like whisky. I try to avoid Diageo "brands" but they got their Singleton of Dufftown spot on, it's also agressively priced. If you're not a whisky drinker but know someone who is, they'll appreciate either.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:01 | 4113354 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Come to think of it, I always did like grain.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:57 | 4113096 AgileArjuna
AgileArjuna's picture

Formula 1 privateer team Sahara Force India is sponsored by both Whyte & Mackay and Royal Challenge.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:58 | 4113101 SRVDisciple
SRVDisciple's picture

My relatives are a bunch of slackers. How could they let this happen?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:47 | 4113795 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

It's those damn newborn Christians!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:59 | 4113106 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

If you live in a major tech-center city that employs Indian contractors, just stroll into the wine and alcohol section of the local Costco some time...

Fair bet you'll see at least a couple of your Indian co-workers with shopping carts FULL of cases of booze, new luggage, and rolls of bubble wrap.

Every time they come into the US, they leave with Samsonites FULL of whiskey.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:58 | 4113109 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Meh. Per capita, North America still looks like it's Number One.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:58 | 4113110 superflex
superflex's picture

Whiskey is fine but the green is divine.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:15 | 4113423 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Ode to "absinthe" friends??

Over-rated as a hallucinogen.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:00 | 4113114 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Red Dot Whiskey? Kinda catchy...

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:02 | 4113366 Pareto
Pareto's picture

+1 thats fucking funny!!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 15:59 | 4113115 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Nuts.
When Tyler's end the week with a Whiskey post you know it's going to be another Guest Post weekend.

Over.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:04 | 4113133 maskone909
maskone909's picture

im so fking hungover right now beer shits galore i should have never clicked this article ***barfff

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:03 | 4113275 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Maybe try tapering your QB - Quantitative Boozing

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:20 | 4114472 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Bernanke needs to do some QB. For all we know, perhaps he already is?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:14 | 4113182 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

im stacking bourbon every month ......cant get any more liquid than that !!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:26 | 4113240 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

Hell yeah. I figure 1/2 pints would be extremely fungible in the right circumstances.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:16 | 4113195 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

One of the reasons for the Whisky Rebellion in the 1790s was that whiskey was a preferred medium of exchange over paper money in the western regions. Much harder to counterfeit. Taxing it was the equivalent of taxing money.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:30 | 4113245 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I drink whiskey when I maintain the arsenal and guillotine.

I drink a lot of whiskey these days.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:39 | 4113286 dlfield
dlfield's picture

Where is Australia?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:44 | 4113300 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Down under.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:46 | 4113301 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  John Kerry? WTF are you doing "Gracing The Halls of Z/H?"

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:53 | 4113329 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

It borders Germany.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:43 | 4113292 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Indian consumption probably skewed by Pandit hitting the bottle when he got his ass kicked outta Citi

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:43 | 4113298 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Try Garrison Brothers, if you can get it.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:25 | 4113723 Darksky
Darksky's picture

Local Houston micro distillery Whitmeyer's is some good stuff. A little better than Garrison Brothers in my opinion.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 21:27 | 4114243 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Whitmeyers next time in Texas.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:52 | 4113320 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

deleted

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 16:55 | 4113334 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

I picked a bad day to stop drinking Whiskey!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:06 | 4113617 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

+1 for the Airplane movie ref.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:07 | 4113387 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 

    Carny= rat that takes your tickets at local Carnival/Fair.

     Karni= Insane "Rat Queen" that makes fine malted whiskey.

    Carny + Karni = Janet Yellen

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:12 | 4113388 ATM
ATM's picture

Top 20 global spirits (figures are per annum)

1.Jinro (Korean soju) - 61.38 m cases

2.Smirnoff (vodka) - 24.70m cases

3.Lotte Liquor (Chinese soju) - 23.90m cases

4.Emperador (Spanish brandy) - 20.10m cases

5.Bacardi (PR rum) - 19.56m cases

6.Tanduay (Phillipino rum) -18.71m cases

7.Pirassunga 51 (Brazil cachaca) - 18.60m cases

8.Johnnie Walker (Scotch whisky) - 18.00m cases

9.Officer's Choice (Indian whisky) - 16.53m cases

10.McDowell's No.1 (Indian whisky) - 16.08m cases

11.Bagpiper (Indian whisky) - 15.98m cases

12.McDowell's No.1 Celebration (Indian rum) - 15.63m cases

13.Red Star Er Guo Tou (China baijiu) - 13.68m cases

14.Royal Stag (Indian whisky) - 12.49m cases

15.McDowell's No.1 (Indian brandy) - 11.72m cases

16.Absolut (Swede vodka) - 11.21m cases

17.Old Tavern (Indian whisky) - 11.07m cases

18. Original Choice (Indian whisky) - 10.77m cases

19. Jack Daniel's (US whiskey) - 10.58m cases

20. Pitu (Brazil cachaca) - 10.49m case

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-11-06/drinks-corner/32099889_1_indian-whisky-cases-mcdowell-s-no1

 

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:19 | 4113914 Dr. Bonzo
Dr. Bonzo's picture

Baijiu? Holy shit, now I know this list is suspect. If they're listing baijui they might as well list paint thinner. I think the paint thinner sells better, probably goes down easier too. Main difference is that people are fooled by the bottles.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:18 | 4113915 Dr. Bonzo
Dr. Bonzo's picture

Baijiu? Holy shit, now I know this list is suspect. If they're listing baijui they might as well list paint thinner. I think the paint thinner sells better, probably goes down easier too. Main difference is that people are fooled by the bottles.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:11 | 4113402 Itch
Itch's picture

Fuckin right it's not the Irish, we can't afford it.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:22 | 4113444 Yen Cross
Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:59 | 4113590 Itch
Itch's picture

Don't ask me, everybody had their chance to indirectly kill the German masterplan...they're just too minted. Who's going to argue with them, they have all those Merc's to flog.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:13 | 4113419 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Shoppers Willage?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:24 | 4113456 Darth Mul
Darth Mul's picture

Everyone's simply assuming that the Indians are drinking the whiskey.

Most of it is probably going to pour on wounds - Deadwood style.

 

Actually, the reputation for the Irish for being drunks, in part, has to do with longstanding English/British racism toward their erstwhile colony.  The Irish had this irritating habit of rebelling every couple of generations.  The Scottish, of weaker Goidelic stock, long mixed with Saxon and Pictish blood, rebelled for a while, but once the Highlanders were betrayed and defeated, the Scots decided to play along to get along, and opt to become merely North English with funny accents and worse weather.

 

It's not that the Irish don't drink, of course - it's just that lots of other groups drink far more - the Russians and Finns leap to mind.  But the Germans and Dutch, as well as large numbers of Koreans, Japanese, and for sure Indians are outstanding alcoholics.

 

Indeed the English themselves are committed drunks, sharing the same 'pub culture' for the most part with their Irish neighbors.

 

I was most surprised to learn about Japanese bar culture. I had this idea Asians don't drink.  Well, it certainly isn't as much a part of the cultures as it is in Germany, say, but for those Japanese and Koreans whose bodies can handle the alcohol, there's almost nothing like a "have a few pints and fuck off home" sort of pub culture, it's "drink your face off and buy women's panties from a vending machine at the subway" sort of stuff.

But we've all been there.

 

Am I right??

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:46 | 4114143 Seeking Aphids
Seeking Aphids's picture

You really don't want to try out your amusing anecdotes about the Scottish in a Glasgow pub.....on second thoughts, please do. Those Glaswegian chaps really want nothing more that to play along and display their commitment to being a sort of Northern Englishman.....they will especially love the bit about being of weaker stock......you will make lots of friends and be shown all kinds of Scottish hospitality. Don't forget to point out that the Highlanders were defeated...that is always good for a chuckle and, perhaps, a free drink. Cheers!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:27 | 4113464 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Stay Thirsty My Friends.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 17:27 | 4113466 Bugsquasher
Bugsquasher's picture

Isle of Jura 16 year old single malt.  Smooth and tasty!

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:09 | 4113632 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

You will actually need many brands of whiskey after the collapse. Anyone stacking phyzz will want the good stuff. If you need more ammo you can swap the cheap stuff.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:27 | 4113731 WelfareFTW
WelfareFTW's picture

I fondle my Canadian maple leafs and 100 oz silver bars every day while drinking johnny blue and making witty comments on Zero Hedge... and I'm Indian... Thanks for being a home away from home ZH! *tears up*

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:51 | 4113813 John J. Yossarian
John J. Yossarian's picture

A fur seal waddles into a bar and orders a whiskey.

Bartender asks "What kind?"

Seal says " Anything but that fucking Canadian Club!"

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 18:51 | 4113816 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

I drink quite a bit of it myself. Prefer Yukon Jack and Wild Turkey 101. On the rocks, no mixers. ;-)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:07 | 4113877 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

MIXERS! Dear god no no no! Might as well put ketchup on escargot! Scotch should be drunk neat or on the rocks. My Glenlivet stash is gone and mr miffed informed me I'm over budget so don't think about it. I'm warming up to the Jim Beam. What other drink is appropriate to have while perusing ZH? Here's to you cbxer!

Miffed;-)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:14 | 4113902 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Crown Royal Reserve ...with a few rocks

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:19 | 4114338 Harry Dong
Harry Dong's picture

City boy. It's Old Crow here in the backwoods. Wild turkey is also for you rich folk wannabe rednecks.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:16 | 4114062 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Exactly. I do not even like to put sauce on a steak. If a steak requires sauce, it was not marinated or cooked properly.

Speaking of which. I got my 2004 Ford Lightning back from the body shop after two months. It was nearly totaled by a driver paying too much attention to their personal communication device, could not be bothered to pay attention to those around him. 

I am going to go celebrate, alone of course, with a nice steak dinner and a couple perfect margaritas. The joint is only 3/4 of a mile away. And I can scoot through the neighborhood to get home. So don't worry bout me. I will make them two drinks last at least two hours, along with a full tummy. 

I'll talk at ya later Miffed. 

As far as what to drink while perusing Z.H.? Anything that gets you intoxicated, FAST!  ;-)

Wild Turkey 101 is better than Jim Beam! Na-na-na-na-na-na!  LOL

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:07 | 4114320 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

So sorry to hear about your car. I hope you made it out unscathed! I was walking out of the post office the other day and a bicyclist whirled around the corner and slammed into me. Spun me around, smashed my knee up pretty badly. Thank god mr Miffed caught me or I would have had asphalt burns. Yep, the ashole was texting on his bike for Christ sakes! My back was messed up for weeks. My chiropractor said I had achieved the top 10 in his list of crazy injuries.

I wish I could celebrate with you the return of your beloved friend. Happy times are meant to be shared. I was alone for a week a few weeks ago and every thing went wrong. The booster pump on our well burst into flames so I had no water for 3 days. I finally got everything fixed and just wanted to drink and celebrate my success but it just was so empty being alone I just went to bed.

Ok I'm sipping my sad Jim Beam ( wild turkey, lucky ass!) and raising a toast for the return of your car and hoping you are safe, happy and well. To beloved Cyber buddies!

Your friend,

Miffed;-)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:57 | 4114558 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Texting whist riding abicycle? LOL Now I've heard everything. THat is just nuts. I ride for the exercise and fun of it, and I DO NOT BRING MY CELL PHONE WITH ME whenb I ride. I want to escape the dreaded fool thing every chance I get. It's like an electronic leash. Don't people get that?  ;-(

As for sad Jim Beam. I've had it, it's alright. It's just that it's 80 proof. I prefer my 101 proof Wild Turkey. ;-)

My truck is just an inanimate object. It's a very rare inanimate object. I feel really happy that the insurance company fixed ait, and did not scrap it. One of less than 20,000 made in six years of production. It truly, just about cannot be replaced. 

Being alone? Not my choice. I just have given up looking. Stuck out way too many times the last year or so. Why bother trying any more? Unfortunately, I've grown accustomed to being alone. It truly would feel strange to not be these days.

The Ford Lightning is a very rare, limited edition pickemup truck. Just mine does not pick up any more. ;-(

[URL=http://s849.photobucket.com/user/cbxer55/media/Lightning/01010002-11.jpg...][IMG]http://i849.photobucket.com/albums/ab51/cbxer55/Lightning/01010002-11.jp...[/IMG][/URL]

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 00:46 | 4114649 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Absolutely gorgeous! Was this taken before the accident or after? If after, they did a damn good job restoring it. Ten years ago I was hit in my little Honda CRX on the freeway. Accordioned me into the car in front of me. I loved that little sports car. It was totaled and they didn't make them anymore. Some guy offered me $5000 for it the week before. They're easy to chop and take to the desert which is what he wanted it for. I wouldnt sell it and then it was wreaked. I cried when Mr Miffed had them haul it away.

Three weeks later I drove up to find a black Honda CRX in the driveway with a big red bow on it. It was my car! Yes, he paid to have it restored. I asked what he paid and he wouldn't tell me. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me. Believe me, I paid him back in multiple ways! ;-)

I am not sure I could get used to being alone all the time. I think men can do that better than women. Not that I fear being alone or not enjoying solitude. I do like having time to myself. I ride my horse for hours in the backcountry and no I don't take my cell as well ( sheesh, I hate having an electronic leash!). But there is something about sleeping with a man with his arms wrapped around me at night that just makes me incredibly happy and content. I just sleep better, no tossing. I tried using a pillow when my husband was gone. Told him a pillow can't replace him. He laughed.

I guess if I ever lost him I would be forced to deal with life being alone. I hope I have your strength of character to do it but i really hope it never happens. It would be very challenging for me to do with out becoming depressed. I admire you for doing it well. But I will always hope you won't be. Okay yes, there I go being a dreamy silly woman.

Miffed;-)

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 03:40 | 4114785 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Pic taken before the accident. I guarantee I cannot tell the difference. They did an outstanding job putting things back to right. 

Here is the thread from the day it happened, on LightningRodder.com. You'll see the last is a friend of mine who took me to pick it up today. LOL

He was supposed to go celebrate with me, as he just got his 98 F-150 back to running, with a Lightning engine under the hood. But he was not able due to unforeseen circumstances. Such is life. ;-(

http://www.lightningrodder.com/forum/showthread.php?t=152937

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 10:39 | 4115116 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, I can see there were people out there that really were going to go out of their way and help you. So cool with the Internet now you can find so many friends of any interest or topic all over the world! Youre going to have to have another celebration with your friend though but I do hope the steak and margaritas were fine. I've been known to make a damn killer margarita. Mr Miffed and his friend are over today building a railing for my porch and I'm sure they are going to ask me to barmaid. Guess I've got to dig out the ol' pushup bra. ;-)

Miffed;-)

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 11:07 | 4115158 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Yes, Mike recently got his 98 Ford F-150 running with an engine from a Lightning. We were supposed to be celebrating his truck running and mine back on the road. BUt he is married, and probably just could not get away from his wife to show up. I kind of know how that is. 

It's okay though. He took me over to ge tmy truck yesterday, and I spent some time helping him with a few little problems on his. Sometimes, that's all the time us guys get to spend together. Working on each others vehicles. Always fun.

Pushup bra huh? You wear that, the guys probably won't get much done! ;-)

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 11:23 | 4115188 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Yeah Doug and Dave are making a lot of noise now with the nailer and the saws. Push up bras and Power Tools are not good mixers! I've learned that lesson the hard way. A long time ago I had to impose a new Rule to a long list of Rules to the Official Guide to Miffed's Rules of Life.

#6 "Don't take off your top and fondle your breasts while your husband is driving! Unless signing an embarrassing police report is your goal in life.  The dump truck with the bumper sticker" Flash your Rack" is not an excuse nor is considered an attractive nuisance."

At least now we can laugh about it! I am hoping you many years of fun guy time with your restored truck. ;-)

Miffed;-)

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 11:11 | 4115166 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

I approved your contact request. Been on this site for over four years, your the first to want to do so. Funny there is no private message function here. THe only way you can chat is via posts on threads. Unless I am missing something.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 11:27 | 4115202 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I have done private chats with several here. You have to enable the chat feature. My iPad doesn't support chat so if we ever want to we need to schedule a time so I can borrow my husbands laptop. Let me know if you are ever interested and I will see what I can do.

Miffed;-)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:15 | 4114463 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Funny. The biggest road hazard I have encountered is deer, not texters.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:57 | 4114563 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

The only deer I've seen, made it a point to not come anywhere near me. Maybe they could smell the gunpowder in the .45 ACP Kimber on my hip? ;-)

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:39 | 4113981 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Maybe in India it is drunk as a replacement for water?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 19:42 | 4113988 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Laphroaig is a great whisky, introduced to me by a Yorkshireman who works for Royal Mail. A great peaty taste, goes down well at end of the night....

http://www.laphroaig.com

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:35 | 4114120 Seeking Aphids
Seeking Aphids's picture

Agreed....most emphatically! But how do you order it in a bar? I have the hardest time pronouncing it.....although after 2 or 3 glasses it does get easier.............

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:54 | 4114170 Freddie
Freddie's picture

WTF?  Do postal workers in the UK just drop by to drink with the citizenry?  In the USA they are usually just surly and often incompetent.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 03:44 | 4114786 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Hmmm! See below. 

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 04:12 | 4114787 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

In other words: They got nothing to say, and lose your mail.   ;-)

Fortunately, save for a few fine cigars, I get nothing in the mail worth walking to the box to fetch. LOL

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 20:39 | 4114132 Doug997
Doug997's picture

musumbi and naingi my Indian wife says

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 21:19 | 4114224 Rimon
Rimon's picture

1.2bn people .. figures

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 21:40 | 4114264 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Met some of those old Rolling Thunder boys from near Pittsburgh during Memorial Day weekend. We were sitting around the corner from Gadsbys Tavern in Old Town Alexandria (George Washingtons old hangout). We were sitting on the patio of a really good Mexican restaurant, can't right off remember the name. Our waiter was a young kid named Sam from Houston. I thought that was funny. We drank a good bit of bourbon before they got up to leave. I told them that if they would stay, I would buy until we drank 'em dry. They politely refused my offer. One of them cracked a Yankee joke at me. I told them that this old Southern boy has more Yankee friends than any Yankee I know. One of them said "Now you have six more." Fine fellows.

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 22:05 | 4114317 2discern
2discern's picture

Of course the E & W Europeans consume less Whiskey...Gin, Vodka, Slevevicz (sic), are the grain of choice. Now which country consumes (not produces) the most tequila ?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:33 | 4114512 bilbert
bilbert's picture

Is it just me, or would anyone else feel more comfortable grokking this data in a SINGLE pie chart or bar graph?

Fri, 11/01/2013 - 23:57 | 4114561 The Burning Planet
The Burning Planet's picture

I have only anecdotal evidence to support this stat. The counter clerk at my local Quick and Easy loves whiskey. I knew a guy in a Shiva cult and they say Shiva loves whiskey more than any other form of alcohol--they pour bottles of red and black label on his effigy in ceremonies. Anyway, that's all I got.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 05:05 | 4114809 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Whiskey backed currency.

 

I think we're onto something here.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 13:00 | 4115388 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

This entertaining factoid is weirder than it seems on the surface:  Both of the countries two major religions, Hindu and Islam, are tee-total.  Looks like several million believers are not following the commandments.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 18:17 | 4116008 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

21 quail in the freezer. Time for Bullit Bourbon.

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