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Monday Humor: Forget Jimmy Kimmel; Meet "The Undying Chinese"
Following Jimmy Kimmel's infamous kids roundtable where the solution proferred by one young chap was to "kill all the Chinese people" since they are the ones we owe money to, the Chinese people decided enough was enough and put together this brief tutorial on China, and how many 'peoples' have tried to kill them in the past... meet "The Undying Chinese"
Jimmy Kimmel's "Kill everyone in China" skit:
And The Chinese response... (if nothing else, it's a great introduction to the way they see themselves in under 4 minutes)...
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Hully up and corrapse Amelica!
Ho Li Fuk
Sum Ting Wong
She Ping-Pong, aka Xi Jinping, ain't happy with Ji-Mee Kim Mel ;-)
Sincerely,
Al "Gore" Jazeera
No mention of nukes in there...
The ultimate "PeaceMaker"
Hoo Lee Fuk!
Wow, if this represents the voice of the Chinese people, they took the fact that our children want to kill them pretty well. Meanwhile, I was looking at some information on a previous article about Caterpillar's plummeting profits and I thought it interesting that as they announce they are closing an underground mining equipment plant in West Virginia, they built one in Thailand earlier this year. So, when you thank the Chinese, include all of those that we Westerners cannot tell apart.
http://www.forconstructionpros.com/press_release/10367188/caterpillar-pl...
Youtube deleted all the videos of Jimmy Kimmel's skit.
Seventy percent of Chinese are peasants.
See, we're becoming more alike all the time.
because Obama!
I think I'm tunrining Chinese, I really think so!!!
I'll still love you when your eyes are thin and you eat dogs and cats and snakes.
Don't forget yummy Tiger penis, round eye!
What do you call a Chinese girl with one leg?
Irene.
Badabing!
I thought Godzilla had that part taken care of.
The next 8-10 years, brought to you by the Luciferian Elite:
US Dollar collapse, followed by China collapse.
China/Russia vs US, in which they first strike nuke and EMP us. Thus killing off many useless eaters.
China thinks it can take the whole world, but
the Luciferian Elite controlled US unveils some new secret superweapons and also gets Russia to change sides, and wins
The Elite rebuild whatever society they want, everyone is grateful to them, not realizing they caused the chaos
The dawn of the true NWO with every person in kept track of by the NSA built survailence system.
Sounds crazy, but look it up yourself, you already see the begining movements of this.
Will hapen unless people wake up and stop it. Praying they do. I do what I can by getting the word out.
Re: I do what I can by getting the word out.
The shape shifting Lizard People are slowly being exposed, keep up the good work!
Someone has been listening to Alex Jones too much...
...or not enough?
Alex Jones is an agent provocateur.
Look it up in the bilderberg minutes? Conspiracy theory only. OTOH, many conspiracy theories proven fact. I love conspiracy theories, just don't think there;s any way to prove this one.
Where I live there's lots of rednecks. Here's hoping some of my bubba friends can take a few NWO asshats with 'em.
http://www.worldaffairsbrief.com/keytopics/threats.html
TV is for retards and so is Jimmy Kimmel.
Sum Ting Wong
TV audience is all time highs, Houston we have a problem!!
Hol E Fuk
Wi too lo
Bang Ding...
All of the above would be apropriate!
America con never corrapse with ris typ o' shit groin on'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Y5YeidaUc
See you in the Squared Circle my friend!
America con never corrapse with ris typ o' shit groin on'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Y5YeidaUc
And after actually watching both videos in consecutive order, que world war three in 3, 2, 1 OFFBLAST!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Y5YeidaUc
Hully up and corrapse Amelica!
If we colapse, they colapse. Domestic wages in China would have to rsie so they could consume internally. Then the cost of their exports go up and TPTB makes some African nation (or group of) the next rising economy. NWO 4 the Win! LOL
"Your phones, your clothes, your Christmas gifts, all are made in China"
THANK YOU BILL CLINTON FOR SELLING US OUT TO THE CHICOMS YOU TRAITOROUS FUCK.
Just Clinton?? What about the traitorous congress & senate fucks that collaborated?
How short some memories are. You have to go back to Tricky Dick opening relations with China during his presidency. Slick Willy came long after the gate was left open and the horses had already bolted from the barn.
If you'll jog that memory just a bit more, you'll recall that Tricky Dick stayed in Washington, while one Henry AntiChrist Kissinger went on a secret mission to ask China if we could start selling ourselves out to them. The nature of the "relations" we've been having with China is that we get screwed and China gets the jobs. In the end, it may be China that gets screwed on their $1.3 trillion of Uncle Sam Wipes.
Light bulbs made in China.
Also recall the first ambassador to China at the time of Tricky Dick: George H. W. Bush....
He's rquired by his party to say these things.
Such allegience also precludes one from reading about history. I'd suggest a thorough reading on Kissinger, but then again what do I know, I'm not a party pussy...
And add Fineswine and her husband into that mix. They made a lot of questionable deals that would have gotten anyone else brought up on espionage and possibly treason charges for her husband's Chinese business dealings and her political weight put behind them under the Clinton regime.
One would assume in a corrupt environment that this would count as necessary job experience for post of chairman of the Intelligence Committee.
This goes back a lot further than Clinton, 3 major problems of today are directly related to decisions Nixon made. The opening of relations to China, going off the gold standard and the beginning of Nationalized Facist style Healthcare system started under Nixon. Obamacare is the culmination of this process right now.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Doc_Tropics/United_States_health_refo...
If it had not been for LBJ's war, Nixon probably would not have needed to go off the gold standard.
Both parties share the blame.
Absolutely neither stopped running up deficits after WWII. Both were seduced by the Keynesian idea of economics and the deficit spending was a contributing factor to 'default' and going off the gold standard under Nixon. And the factor of the matter is it happened under Nixon not under anyone else so he owns it as far as history is concerned. He could have cut spending and pulled back from the war to bring the deficit spending back in line while negotiating repayment terms on debt. It wouldn't have been the end of the country. Hindsight is one thing but he most certainly could have taken a different direction besides 'default'.
Bottom line is when you get past the faux L/R R/D divide neither side has ever believed in laissez-faire free market style capitalism including the special interests that buy influence and steer policy. It was true back then and still true today. The R/R was always government limited public/private partnership Capitalism to out right Fascism (Federal Reserve) depending how far out on the spectum while the L/D was always Socialist to outright Marxist in it's approach but the underpinning of both is Keynesian style economics to justify the spending part to make it happen.
You have some vlaid points Dewey, however, lest one forget the late 1800's, early 1900's, with the creation of the Fed under Wilson, the socialiszed Social Security Act under FDR, the Great Society under Johnson, unrelenting spending since WWII, on social and MIC spending, all outragrous. All Blue team Red team bullshit anyway.
Let me tell ya, there is a grassroots brewing and it ain't good for the statists of any stripe R or D or I! Freedom, is much preferrable, thanks! Sic Semper Tyrannis! Molon Labe!
Yeah, the entire notion of pereptual growth on a finite planet would have been proved false had it not been for Vietnam!
Woar in general. We've never left it since WWII and the deficit spending is a consequence of it. If it isn't war on slanty eyed people, it is fridged people or things like drugs and concepts like terrorisim. Point is woar (foreign or domestic) is the pretense used to justify deficit spending and in which in turn is used to justify keynesian style economics which in turn justifies central banks and the debit/credit monetary system needed to pay for it. We've been at woar nonstop since WWII in some form or another once that stops so does the overspending. Socialist programs are a form of woar also like woar on poverty aka welfare.
It is actually the hawkish nature of the US since the WWII era that has bankrupted the US. Being the world's cop isn't cheap and I don't see any other country contributing to the cause.
We should have let all the brown, yellow and black people kill each other. Just think how rich our country would be.
How about the traitorous fucks who purchase the shit. Oh wait... that would be you and me! Well Fuck Bill Clinton that Traitorous Fuck!
this is hilarious, and a solid basis for a new religion. "The Clinton, the redeemer, died to pay our debts, so that all men could live free in eternal happiness."
Uh, Nixxon "went to China" and told them they could do better and he was there to help. Otherwise they would still be the rice bowl of the world. Thank you sooo much, Tricky Dick.
In 1960 Robert Triffin saw that a country that had the world's reserve currency MUST be a net importing nation (otherwise the currency cannot get to the rest of the world to be held as 'reserves')
The problem of manufacturing capacity loss was partially offset by the advantages of the 'exorbitant privelege.'
The problem is that it is the poor and middle class that bear the burden and the banking sector that gets the rewards.
No problem...in just a jiff it will be all over and we will suffer a huge painful collapse...followed by a long more painful period of trying to figure out just what we Americans do best! Won't that be fun?
My plan is to have 'yellow capital' in my possession so I can be one of the planners.
I think it will suck to be one of the great masses who are trying to find their new purpose.
It's strange, I totally agree with this post, and I've thought too of the yellow capital. Then it hit me, why should another ape who has this yellow metal become one of the planners? I'm not saying it will not happen, I'm just asking, why should that buy you a plate at the dinner table. What metric would an ideal society use, to decide who leads, who follows, who starves, who lives, who presses the drone fire button into the first responders at an Afgan wedding double tap?
Apes are not holding yellow capital.
The Chinese are subsidizing our lifestyle. Why not let them continue to finance our foodstamps and make our shit?
Oh my shit....hold on.....
<<<<< |AKAK |>>>>>>
Had to light up the AKAK signal.....
Anon sighting any moment. Hang on tight.
This is Tyler's version of AKAK catnip...I'm popping corn and digging out the twelve pack
He's out chasing a moose...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFdyQxysQaA
That second video was absolutely retarded.
You didn't think that was funny? Oh, my God, I was laughing my ass off by about halfway through.
No, but I wasn't high either.
heh
No worries. I know a brother who can hook you up.
From the sounds of that video China is a little dissatisfied with its current lot. That can't bode well.
Well if they are pissed, they could take it out with the ones responsible, their own corrupt government... they are the stupid ones buying tons of worthless US paper.
Kettle, meet pot.
Yeah, those stupid Chinese. Just keep telling yourself that.
More disturbing- the Chinese played it from a self-effacing position of strength- can you imagine a Obozo's propagandists putting out a comedic video with big-lipped black skinned ghetto-dweling debtors speaking in ebonics while running through the "American Exceptionalism" propaganda?
And the humor is where?
The average Chinese admires us . They use to call the American dollar "May-kum" ,American Gold.
Interesting times...
"If you want presents at Christmans, Pray God to bless the Chinese. The undying Chinese people."
"It will take many MANY aircraft carriers to kill all Chinese. And we're more than 5000 miles away. You will be in much higher debt."
Bravo. Fantastic. You just cant make this stuff up.
As CPL would say, "I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats."
Chinese Mr. Roboto evidently isn't aware of the term "nukes."
Re: Chinese Mr. Roboto
probably knows "nukes" would kill both sides.
The have absolutely no oil. It would be easy to turn off the sea routes to China. And they also can't feed their country...
Oh no he is.
It's a weapon with lots of 0s after it that when counted is well over a trillion and a half little "war heads" of paper and growing that when "discharged" or should I say unloaded will leave the American economy completely obliterated.
Did that answer it for you?
All the land is state owned to maintain stability.
All of this buidling of iShit is polluting our air, depleting our resources, and keeping wages low.
Here we go again...government providing "stability".
Freedom, anyone?
All of this buidling of iShit is polluting our air, depleting our resources, and keeping wages low.
Thanks to you being slaves, thanks to your government... so keep blaming Apple for your woes and keep worshipping those who made the deal in the first place.
If you're not happy, DO A MASS STRIKE ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY... And if they try to force you to work, KILL THE FUCKERS.
Because that's working so well here?
The US has played this perfectly. Let the BRICs start their own thang.
We are at war within a year. How are things going between the Japanese and Chinese these days? Japan could use some workable real estate.
Not farmer.
"Peasants. Not Farmer."
Classic.
i saw that. glad they cleared that up for us.
i also realize now that i should be saving more for my old time.
"We don't think it's a good idea to kill the Chinese, because there is too many of them. And it would be too expensive".
Never thought of it that way.
It wouldn't be too expensive if we hired the Chinese to do it.
Oh!
Chinese killing chinese. Brilliant.
And paid them in dollars!
Breeryant!
The department of Homeland defense (hate that fucking term) has 1.3 billion bullets. Perhaps we are going to expand the homeland (hate that fucking term)...
Let the Nips do it. They already have on t?e job training.
Hire the Mongolians costs a bit more but their still pissed about ghengis, might get us a discount.
Not expensive at all - we borrow the money from them at less than 1%.
We'll give it the good old American try.
All of our weapon systems are designed to wipe out troop clusters. Imagine that.
Let's not get them started on the Japanese.
You know, the dirty, smelly Japanese imperialists dogs.
Yes, the ones that disproved the "undying Chinese" theory.
Chairman Mao -- "Stop trying to cut in on my action."
"
How's that? China's still around.
Their point was that they survived Genghis Khan, civil war, the unification of about 17 different people groups, and yes, the Japanese. They are still a country after all of that 2000+ year history (which is incredible, really).
America barely survived the Civil War, and we've never had a war on our own shores from any foreign nation. I'd like to see the aftermath if that occured here. I don't think anyone is capable of even imagining the chaos of a First World country devolving into a Third World country.
Yes, I know...sheesh....this was covered in the "we breed like fucking cockroaches" part of the video...
No fun at all...
And MacArthur would have disproved the theory for all time if Truman wasn't a complete fag.
War of 1812 British invaded DC. Civil war more devastating than any foreign invasion of the South. Korean war MacArthur's troops killed 20 Chinese for every GI.
20 for 1? Ahh sooo
"...we've never had a war on our own shores from any foreign nation."
The War of 1812 was fought on US soil. The real key is that we haven't had a war fought on US soil during modern times with modern weapons.
Because we invented the majority them....which I'm sure they were getting around to, since they did find the gunpowder thing...but just sort of got distracted after they developed the mighty bottle rocket
I don't think anyone is capable of even imagining the chaos of a First World country devolving into a Third World country.
Don't worry, it's coming and in some parts, it's already there.
If Genghis Khan had come over here, we would have kicked his ass back to China !!!
/provided we would have been here at that time
...whilst visiting Nanking
can't we all just get along?
Dear Mr. Chinaman,
Fuck you.
Sincerely,
Titus
PS that $1.3 trillion is gonna be more like $1.30 when the federal reserve is done printing the fuck out of it.
If one lives on the West coast, learn Chinese. On the East coast, north of Florida, learn German. Learn Russian if one lives in Florida or Alaska. Those in the middle need to learn 'Texan.' Those that live near the 'missle fields' in Wyoming, Montana and the Dakotas should move.
Everyone should learn proper AK and AR 'pitchfork' operation and maintenance and ditto for the guillotine.
Those in Detriot, learn "Jive"
Those in Dentured, learn O-bedience!
Fellow Americans! If the Chinese refuse to sell you clothes and Christmas gifts any more, simply order them in Germany. We have good connections to China.
Can you remove the lead paint prior to shipping? I know that would add to your VAT liability, but we'd sure appreciate it.
Yes, we can.
Ok if we pay in dollars instead of gold? Not that we are short on gold supply or anything...it's just easier, you know...to pay in dollars.
Oh and about the 300 tons of gold you are waiting for.... Well you see our CIA / Mafia / Bronfman controlled Barrick Gold had to cancel that Pasqua mine in Chile so we were wondering if we could just swap you out for some T-Bonds or maybe we could bump up your open interest on the COMEX before it melts down. No... you want physical... OK 14 years cause.... well it's really heavy.
I probably won't look at either video. I do not think jokes about genocide are funny.
Kimmel should know better?
C'mon, take a peek. It's not about genocide, it's about manufacturing.
Right. "Arbeit macht frei" is not about genocide, it's about manufacturing.
Two things I really hate: Kimmel and Genocide.
His face has an unpleasance to it.
Real genocide is never having to say you're sorry.
"But if you don't pay them back, they won't loan you money anymore."
"Ohhhhhh"
Keynesians are literally on the same level as children.
Well at least we know the Zionist Jews in Hollywood have children under the age of 9 years old fully brainwashed and indoctrinated for camo and an M16 rifle they will inherit as their "only" occupation when they are of "fighting" age. But let's face it this Country won't last that long at the rate we're going.
Nice move by the Yid producer of the show to throw an Asian kid talking Israeli/American bellicose smack or good measure. Always thinking like a lawyer!
I'll be the first to tell anyone that I am not a fan of China and it's repressive government that is more than willing and waiting for an American President that has the balls and the will to lower the hammer on it's own people so that it can be replaced with cost competitive Chinese labor in Chinese cities that will be in the U.S.
But at the end of the day this isn't China's doing as offshoring American jobs takes "two".
I am not a fan of China
Too many Joos there for you?
Mr. Chin's Laundry and Diamond Exchange.
No not any Zionists as the Chinese would never allow them in there Country knowing what a disruptive and destructive force they are in the World.
Why would they when they've seen the damage in Western Europe, United States and last but not least The House "IsraHell"!
re: "No not any Zionists as the Chinese would never allow them in there"
Apparently someone was asleep when Henry Kissinger arrived...not to mention the Rothschilds.
All Your Debt Are Belong to Us
You forgot the Lolcat Photo!!
So, this site got rid of Francis for being "Racist"..........but pathetic shit eating "humour" like that openeing thses comments is allowed to stand?
Zero Hedge is getting to be like America, people will cheer when it finally dies.
So much for a serious economics blog. Shem the fuck on you Tylers.
Maybe The Nation, Salon, or another site can cure your ED problem.
Simaker is Francis' gay son
You can read a headline, you can decide if you want to read it or not. The Tylers are in a country where "hate speech" is illegal. They will get shut down if they don't deal with some of it. As it is, they still let one hell of a lot go.
Think about it, like Snowden, they had to leave the US so that they could do what they do.
There is no free speech. But this place ain't bad.
when did they get rid of Francis?
thanx
When the Swiss based branch of the tribe told zero hedge to get rid of him and the others.
Now the tribe owns zero hedge through its dependence on advertising dollars anyway. Hey I understand. Everyone has to make money
I miss francis.
L'Chayim!
Shem the fuck on you.
No fucks will be given for Japeth and Ham.
Guess i should add some background for noobs. Zero hedge was facing lawsuits in Switzerland as well as criminal and civil penalties for racism directed against the tribe. This is where their non discrimination policy came into effect. I believe it is ok to note the domination of the tribe in media and finance as well as call ben bernanke by his middle name.
It is ok to discuss how aipac uses our own money to bribe our congress.
You will be banned for making broadly disparaging remarks that are not part of a debate but are only intended to castigate the tribe in general. Specific criticisms are allowed. Not generalized disparaging remarks. That is what i gather by the patterns of account deletion.
Re: but are only intended to castigate the tribe in general.
That would seem reasonable.
Kinda like lumping all of "those people" together in some generalized less than nice category.
Not the tribe but blacks. Used to tease Francis about the Joo squirrel. He could never let it go. The first round of banned comments were anti-African American'...
SimMaker said: "...like that openeing thses comments..."
Huh?
THAT was fascinating. The music, the presentation, very interesting. Thanks for this post.
Silly Chicoms. They haven't heard about NUKES? Murica has enough nukes to carpet bomb all of China... not to mention, who cares if China is nuked... all the crappy stuff they make, we'll make here.
re: Murica has enough nukes to carpet bomb all of China
Yeah, but "the kid" who wanted to kill the chinese probably didn't want to get killed himself. A few well place nukes would ruin everybody's day.
Use MLRS then. China is all talk with no battle experience. Their last war? Little skirmish with Vietnam in 1970s.
Are you alluding to the "crappy stuff" like the iPhones and Androids U.S. manufacturering facilities migrated over there that are made with labor that lives in the factories w/ nets undeneath each floor so the workers don't kill themselves?...
Who made that happen? And do you really believe you can keep that kind of a relationship with American manufacturers continuing to head over there for the "cheap labor" and at the same times threaten them with our Navy if they don't buy more of our debt?
I can't tell what is more insane? To have grown ups acting vicariously through 7 year old children in a late night adult talk show who don't know any better which is bad enough, or the actions of our Government that wants to have it's way in everything "or else"?
Funny, I didn't hear anything about the P.L.A. or slavery in that Chinese video.
Of course, the U.S.S.A. aspires to that model so...
Please people of China: do not form national policy on the basis of the joke of one child....in fact please do not form policy on the basis of anything the government says either...both have minds that require further development.
A one child policy is a good sign they really dont have expansionist desires nor care for foriegn interventionism.
China is not the enemy we are looking for.
The Chinese are a pragmatic people and communism is the most pragmatic of all ideologies. They take the long view, taking sacrifice today for success tomorrow. Its a funny thing how "winners", or at least those who perceive they are winning, almost always have it backwards. The cricket and the grasshopper, the tortise and the hare, the apparent winners always ended up losers, but of course they didn't have centralized planning and success redistributionists either.
If it wasn't for China, what would 1 in 4 Americans spend their hard earned EBT dollars on in the Wall Mart?
They "complete me".
perfect example of trade relations: idiocy is the commodity that makes the world go round
Man we suck.
Edit: Man our government sucks.
Is there anyway to get rid of these green and red up vote down vote things in the settings?
Don't log in.
I think it's sick that they had to make that video.
Anyone else notice what goes into the piggy bank at 2:34? That's how they get their fair pay, right here, right now.