The Definitive Chart On How To Identify A Terrorist

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

A little over a year ago, I wrote an article titled:  You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…

It proved a useful description of the varied afflictions that might overcome your fellow man on the path toward becoming a sentient human being. These include critical thinking, the enjoyment of nature and the distrust of mainstream media.

Well now we have the United States Government Terrorist Identification Chart. This should further aid you in identifying if there are enemies in your midst. Pay close attention serfs.

 

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Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:12 | 4123169 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

Can I get this in a high res printable format to post around town?

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:19 | 4123191 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Terrorists grow our own food.

Mrs. Horseman's saffron rabbit stew with cucumbers.

-h/t The Late Richard Olney.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:20 | 4123198 VD
VD's picture

asshole!

 

i don't want to see your homemade fucking abattoir! douche!

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:24 | 4123210 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

It sure didn't look to me like that kind of activity was going on in his abattoir.

 

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:29 | 4123227 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Yomomma about to ban all eating utensils:

http://metro.co.uk/2013/11/04/knifeman-kills-three-after-hijacking-bus-i...

Yomomma about to change constitution: by yomomma's law you will only be able to eat with your right hand using no utensils. You will also be forced to bow down towards some city in saudi arabia several times a day.

Hey, rabbitman: you didn't grow those wabbits!!!

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:32 | 4123242 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

VD you need to chill out and maybe visit a different thread

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:39 | 4123271 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

How do you know if someone is vegan? You dont have to, they will tell you every chance they get.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:47 | 4123311 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Something is missing on that chart: a picture of a bed labeled "terrorist breeding grounds".

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:52 | 4123330 knukles
knukles's picture

Sure's fuck glad I don't fit any them profiles...
I'm a stick man drawn in Crayola Brand made in the USA Crayons

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:59 | 4123362 BellyBrain
BellyBrain's picture

Looks like the only way to be a non-terrorist is to be a fascist thug known as a "pole icer" who pepper sprays, tazes, beats on or shoots all those nasty terra ists.  Or a billionaire.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:15 | 4123430 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Remember, remember, the fifth of November . . . 

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:23 | 4123459 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

If only the picture showed central banksters instead of rabbits....

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:41 | 4123535 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

 

 

 

Shhhhh...... I'm hunting wabbit.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:45 | 4123549 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Properly prepared & cooked, there's no better meat!  Wonderful.  Coco's in Charlotte serves a very good rabbit.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:58 | 4123756 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I'm an omnivore, but still always pray for forgiveness when I have to dice, slice, mince & chop (i.e. sacrifice) vegetables for my salads & meals.

Vegetarians, do not cast stones upon us carnivores, for you are engaged in terristy ways, too.

Carrots & peas feel pain, bitchez! Look at their suffering or continue to live in the sin of your denial!

http://www.vegetablecruelty.com/gallery/

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 17:17 | 4124163 Titus
Titus's picture

Hedgeless Horseman please please PLEASE INVITE ME TO DINNER SOMETIME!!!!!!!

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 18:02 | 4124382 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

The Secret Life of Plants by Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird.

Interesting read.

Carrots and peas do feel pain.

While looking up the authors' names, I noticed there is a film documentary. Anyone ever watch it?

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 16:52 | 4124034 Disenchanted
Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:17 | 4123441 General Decline
General Decline's picture

I'm a fifth degree vegetarian.  I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:52 | 4123571 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Bungholes don't cast shadows?

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 18:07 | 4124402 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

The sun don't shine on them...

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:29 | 4123486 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Yes, you may well be... but what color crayola where you drawn with?

Burnt umber ?

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:52 | 4123332 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Lack of meat makes some people extra-special douchie...

I love rabbit, I'd dine with our rural culinary friend any time!

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:07 | 4123578 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

She don't eat meat but she sure likes the bone.  Where did I hear that?  Some old song.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 16:10 | 4123866 Overfed
Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:29 | 4123481 UpAndComing
UpAndComing's picture

An ex of mine tried to get me on it. A boy 6'3 195 needs his animal meat. The poor bastard she's married since is pale and fickle. Sadness...i tell ya

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:16 | 4123640 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I figure everyone is different.  Whats so hard about that to imagine?

If vegan works for you, great!  But don't assume it works for someone else.

Personally, I grew up eating BBQ, and will die eating BBQ.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:44 | 4123751 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

"I figure everyone is different. Whats so hard about that to imagine?"

That kind of talk is heresy within the collective.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 17:03 | 4124095 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Go easy on the BBQ - seems there are significant cancer risks, and BBQ grilling is the least safe way to cook meat. http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/cancer-risk-from-bbq-meat

Maybe this goes some way to explaining the very high incidence of colorectal cancer in Australia and New Zealand (where EVERYTING seems to be regarded as ideal BBQ fare!) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2796096/

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 17:34 | 4124247 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives.  BBQ FTW

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:24 | 4123213 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

someone who calls a farmer an asshole and calls himself "VD"...... funny.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:26 | 4123218 VD
VD's picture

i call a 'farmer' posting slaughter pics on site like ZH a fucking asshole and moron.

 

you wanna see dead animals hung upside-down go to a fucking farmer website!

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 13:29 | 4123232 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

Grow up.

 

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:01 | 4123376 BellyBrain
BellyBrain's picture

It is known in scientific circles that vegans go a little crazy due to the immense lack of saturated fat, b-vitamins and overall caloric restrictions that inevitably ensue when you stop eating all animal products.

 

Just go organic, kid, eat what your body is craving and learn to have a healthy relationship with food again.  Your brain will thank you.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:16 | 4123434 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Not to mention the fact that vegans have a higher incidence of heart disease and age-related brain deficiencies (e.g. alzheimers), because the human body needs animal fats, proteins, and cholesterol. 

Every time I have a conversation with a vegan (or god forbid a raw vegan), inevitably they go on and on about how they are heathier and how tasty their vegan meals are. Then I think "quinoa tastes like sawdust" and "vegan curry tastes like something my cat threw up"

 

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 14:59 | 4123589 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

How did you come to know what that something that your cat throws up tastes like? Can you describe the taste for us?

We wait with baited breath for your answer.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:09 | 4123613 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

You're right. I should have written "looks and smells like"....

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:19 | 4123647 shermacman
shermacman's picture

It is "bated" breath.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 18:32 | 4124508 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Not if he's a Shrimpetarian.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 23:48 | 4125586 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

You bate your breath, I'll bait mine. I'll bet I last longer.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:58 | 4123724 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

 

"the fact that vegans have a higher incidence of heart disease and age-related brain deficiencies"    -- let's see some support for that statement.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 17:22 | 4124178 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

You'll be waiting a long time then. There's NO credible evidence that a vegan diet leads to heart disease - in fact the evidence supports the exact opposite conclusion. For example -

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/255644.php,

http://www.nih.gov/researchmatters/june2013/06102013vegetarian.htm,

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/763435_2,

And many others, all from reputable information sources. As to the Alzheimers issue - interesting non-Professional article - with references to plenty of very credible  sources.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/07/19/excess-iron-leads-to-alzheimers.aspx and ref. list - http://media.mercola.com/imageserver/public/excess-iron-leads-to-alzheimers-ref.pdf

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 18:36 | 4124520 Buffalo Bones
Buffalo Bones's picture

Any accredited sources?

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 18:58 | 4124590 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

I know.  Drs. Pritikin, Ornish, MacDougall, Esselstyne have been treating cardiac patients with whole food plant based diets for years with dramatic success.

Then there's the work of T Colin Cambell in the China Study, and his more recent Whole.

Check out nutritionfacts.org when you get a chance.  A sample:  http://nutritionfacts.org/video/dietary-theory-of-alzheimers/

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 19:15 | 4124652 AGuy
AGuy's picture

vegetarian diet can lead to demenita unless animal suppliments are taken:

http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/guide/vitamin-b12-deficiency-symptoms-...

"Vitamin B12 deficiency can also occur in vegetarians, because the best food sources of the vitamin are animal products. Strict vegans (people who don't eat any animal products, including meat, eggs, or milk) are at greatest risk. Vegetarians who eat eggs and milk products are also at risk, because, on average, they consume less than half the adult Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) of vitamin B12."

 

FWIW: The bigger problems of the modern diet is excessive amounts of processed foods and carbohydrates and starches. Starches (rice, potatoes) covert to sugars in your body, and excessive consumption of starches can lead to diabetes. The probably with most Vegans is that they eat lots of processed foods and carbohydrates which lead to health problems. At lot of processed food also contain unhealthly animal products too.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 17:14 | 4124149 eddymunster
eddymunster's picture

Baby size genitalia as well.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 17:43 | 4124287 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

So smarr.  So very smarr.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 15:40 | 4123735 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

"It is known in scientific circles"

Known by whom?  What "scientific circles." 

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 16:40 | 4123990 drdolittle
drdolittle's picture

Vegetarian sevent day adventists have less heart disease and live longer (moreso than would be expected statistically by the lack of smoking). Not sure about vegans but vegetarians have been studied and are the opposite of what you said for vegans.

That said I love's me some animal meat. The human gut got smaller and the brain got bigger at the same time. We started eating much more nutritious foods. Hunter gatherers ate plenty of meat. Get over your omnivorous past and enjoy it. Ain't much finer than a delicious med rare steak.

Tue, 11/05/2013 - 19:00 | 4124602 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

I think you meant to reply to BellyBrain.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!