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With Twitter Set To Break Over $40, Banks Tell Employees To Slow Down With Clogging Orders

Tyler Durden's picture




 

This is what client-facing desks are seeing at various banks across Wall Street right now. One example below:

PLEASE DO NOT ENTER ANY MARKET ORDERS FOR TWTR UNTIL AFTER THE STOCK STARTS TRADING. THESE ORDERS ARE CAUSING A LARGE NUMBER OF REJECTS WHICH MAY DELAY ENTRY OF YOUR ORDER.

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION

Translation: slow down damn it, there will be more than enough shares sold to satsify all demand. Why is there a scramble? Because of this: TRADING RANGE: TWTR (NYSE): 40.0000-44.0000

 

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Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:46 | 4130697 SheepDog-One
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Must....Panic....Buy......Must Buy......

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:47 | 4130703 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I want to buy a tweet for my kid. 

How much does one cost?

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:52 | 4130717 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture

Stupid playing out in real time

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:52 | 4130722 hedgeless_horseman
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I want my tweet now!

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:53 | 4130724 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

How exuberating.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130736 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Investing in fads is always sound business and life planning.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:56 | 4130750 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Depends which side of the sucker bet you are on.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:14 | 4130965 TruthInSunshine
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"THESE ORDERS ARE CAUSING A LARGE NUMBER OF REJECTS..."

That's probably inverting correlation & causation, but still..yeah...

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130741 Billy Sol Estes
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Charlie Bucket was an austrian economist.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:01 | 4130757 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Should I sell my 100 share Twitter allocation at the open?

Maybe I should wait until morning.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:01 | 4130782 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

If you get it pre-IPO it is basically a golden ticket. Rich mofo's probably got their shares for $10-$15, and they will sell it to sheeple for $25-$30 (if not higher). Wait until Twitter goes Facebook and starts fucking with the privacy features and trying to charge for services.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:04 | 4130809 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Ah... daddy's little princess...

But I thought you wanted a pony...

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:27 | 4130918 unununium
unununium's picture

"I want ANOTHER pony"  --Veruca Salt

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:12 | 4130853 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Veruca Salt. Not a great band, but ok.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:47 | 4130704 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Idiots, TWTR will be below $20 in a few weeks.  

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:51 | 4130721 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh I can't WAIT to later see the sob story interviews with people who went all-in with their moms life savings. 

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130734 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

perhaps but it may hit $70 before it hits $20

 

the dot-com glory days lasted years not hours

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:14 | 4131150 FreedomGuy
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But there is a history now wherein people can look back to the tech bust or the Facebook face plant. Who knows?

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:53 | 4130725 Skateboarder
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And above 50 in a year. I am still in awe of FB's climb from 19 to 40somthing without doing anything at all.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:56 | 4130749 Dr. Engali
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A lot of Farcebook's climb was to set the stage for the TWitter IPO and the next tech bubble. It doesn't have a thing to do with fundamentals.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:12 | 4130851 MilleniumJane
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Very astute.  They must maintain the illusion so that no one will lose confidence in the markets.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:02 | 4130792 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

oh but you are incorrect dear boarder

 

they solved the mobile advertising riddle

 

and how exactly did they accomplish that in just 2 quarters such that mobile ads skyrocketed to  49% of all ad revenue

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/10/31/growth-of-mobile-ads-on-f...

I mean WTF, from zero to hero in just two quarters

Maybe they modified the definition of what constitutes mobile to include any wireless device such as the piece of shit laptop I am typing on now.

 

 

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:19 | 4130877 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

My head just essploded - did not know that (didn't/still don't care, really, but it's 'real life' according to the majority...).

To tie in Dr. E's post as well, companies with negative incomes get 14B market cap these days. Definitely agree with FB's leadership role in propping up the IPO bubble. Yep, everything is fly.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:57 | 4130755 Dewey Cheatum Howe
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You willing to gamble some shorts on that one?

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:02 | 4130795 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

Can't short it for 2 weeks. Put options available in one week, but if you pay attention to the options market the premiums have been a little high lately for just about everything.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:23 | 4130869 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I just don't see it dropping almost in half to $20 in 2 weeks time after the IPO. I'll agree that it is going to be overvalued coming out of the gate will recorrect lower but the fact you can't short it for 2 weeks seems well a little unfair. You think they would allow everyone to set their short positions betting on that recorrection to allow companies like GS to slay them by doing a Bernanke liquidty backed pump and dump. It is not like SEC actually enforces anything.

If these fuckers are trying to create a false sense of confidence the liquidity pump will allow it to recorrect to like $35 - $37 and then market rigging algos will slam any major down movements for a couple of months until the twitter confidence game doesn't need to be maintained for the good of the market.

That is my uneducated guess anyways.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:48 | 4130706 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

The NYSE already can't handle the volume..lol.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:49 | 4130707 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Fuck mE!

Still NO BID NO ASK!! OPEN DAMMIT!!

Over.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:48 | 4130708 Billy Sol Estes
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Dear lemmings,

please walk single file, you can't all jump at once.

-Managment

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:49 | 4130711 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Take it up the 'shitter' Twitter.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:51 | 4130720 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

"The Street" Wants its $16 profit now damnit.... Clogging clusterfucks are us.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:49 | 4130714 SheepDog-One
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$44? Hell I can buy almost 50 rounds of 12 guage 00buck for that!

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:52 | 4130723 Randoom Thought
Randoom Thought's picture

Looks like peeps be selling NFLX and LNKD to buy twits ....

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:56 | 4130751 Billy Sol Estes
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Whats that retarded website where you can bet on current events like the election or celebrities dying?

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:53 | 4130726 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Trust your gut on this one guys. They will monetize, something.

Buy it and filter out the noise until you reach your glorious target ($100+).

Over.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:57 | 4130753 replaceme
replaceme's picture

I hate to admit that you're probably right, this will go big big big, for a while.  Someone will make a f*ckload of money today, just not me.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:58 | 4130766 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

What is Goldman Sachs recommending? That is your answer if they say left go right.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:53 | 4130729 max2205
max2205's picture

I remember when we called brokers....brokers...not banks.....gezzzz

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130732 El Tuco
El Tuco's picture

Outside of advertisements what revenue stream do they have? and how much fucking advertising can a person take until there numb to it all. I don't even need ad block anymore. I unconsciously filter it all out.

Anyone depending on me clicking on an advertisement doesn't fucking know who they are dealing with.

Food, gas, that's it....why give the criminals more money.....

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:03 | 4130797 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Pay for placement like front page when everyone logs on. Real estate rules do apply with web sites, location, location, location.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130735 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

I wonder if they have to disclose to their clients that they are going to put in market orders at the most volatile time of when the stock starts trading. Something tells me these banks are going to receive "severe" slaps on the wrist.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:12 | 4130854 Blano
Blano's picture

Let's all put in $1 bids just for fun.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130739 Dr. Engali
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Well they did it. They managed to bring back the tech ipo bubble again. The sheep will never learn.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:58 | 4130758 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

IT'S DIFFERENT THIS TIME BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS DOING IT!!! DON'T YOU SEE??!!

 

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:54 | 4130742 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

what a fucking joke...u want to see what this fake ass market is really about....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEAGdwHXfLQ

fucking fools led to slaughter.......

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:55 | 4130745 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

OH MY GOD!!!!

I ALSO WANT TO GO ON THE TITANIC!!!

WHO WOULD WANT TO MISS OUT ON THAT??!!!

GET OUT OF MY WAY LEMMINGS!!! ME FIRST!!!!

HURRY!!! I CAN ALREADY SEE THE CLIFF!!! LET ME THROUGH!!!! LET ME PASS!!! RUN FASTER!!!!

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 10:58 | 4130765 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

Damnit, I have work, I'm going to miss the slaughter (open).

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:02 | 4130793 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

At what point does the become a Glitch, Bitch?

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:03 | 4130803 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

When the 1000th retail investor gets fucked Facebook style. /sarcasm.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:13 | 4130864 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Right now the Banksters are getting it in the Face, if you are sitting there waiting to pay $44  for a $26 you don't need too much time to think it over... Get er Done.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:05 | 4130812 Blano
Blano's picture

Hurry up damn TWTR, I have to leave soon.

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:21 | 4130894 eaglerock
eaglerock's picture

If the folks at Twitter can figure a way to make money on the inane crap coming out of countless idiots with nothing better to spend their time on, I tip my hat to them. 

Thu, 11/07/2013 - 11:59 | 4131047 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Cap and trade, energy credits by the tweet. You can buy credits to offset your carbon footprint associated with electricity generation for each tweet. Think like a fractional reserving Keynesian.

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