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Monday Humor: Top 5 Traders Under 5
As we are desperate not to miss the boat on the "Top XX Under YY" meme that is dominating social media clickbaiters currently, the following image - spotted in the playroom at a Hong Kong pre-school - sums up the 'world' in which we live so perfectly. And yes, e*Trade nailed it with their "baby" commercials.
Courtesy of @Sanchanta
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I hope they got beaten with canes for using those wierd - symbols.
No gold or silver quotes on the board. Looks like someone is trying to re-program the chinese.
TD...it might be worth thinking about putting a limit on how deep replys can go
4 or 5?
That way we can actually read replys that aren't 2 words across
Thanks
WTF - no quote for Bitcoins?
"Who keeps writing all these fucking orders in crayon?!!"
Look how cheap those indexes are
Too bad there isn't a pre-school Tyler there to mirror some of ZH's content in Crayon.
lol wut?
Hand written, in English.
They either want to make them slaves or masters with that; not human beings.
Masters, for sure. Masters must think, or at least present the appearance of thinking, that the ponzi ecosystem is real. Indoctrination must begin at birth.
Slaves can't afford pre-school lol.
You don't have any kids in preschool, do you? My money is on "slave". I foresee a mass leveling event in China to re-extricate all that middle class-y wealth that has been peskily accumulating, and you don't get to do that as an oligarchy without first convincing the sheep that the sheep are managerially engaged in some very high-minded pursuits.
Yup, training them to put their money into stock funds instead of Gold.
Lesson plan:
1) Learning to buy the dip
2) Learning to buy the all time high
3) Hedging your profits in egg rolls.
The bottom row should say: 30 Minutes $300 HK
Learn the fundimentals early....and go on from there..when do they teach synthetic derivitives????? I hope they still have their diapers on at that time...those make me shit
Work for JPM?
Morons! The only quote they would really need is "Funny Money $ 85 billion/ month" ...
India was buying some shiny stuff on that day...Sensex got hammered.
This may not be humor, but it is good amusement.
On iPad it's called iCanMorph3
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/icanmorph3/id736763181?mt=8&ign-mpt=uo%3...
On iPhone it's called iCanMorph2
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/icanmorph2/id736512904?mt=8&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
Go with your strengths, just read the fortune cookie....
The equivalent to our BTFD
The father of a friend of mine died last January from alcoholism at the age of 91 leaving his financial investments in an irrevocable trust and scattered with little record keeping across 14 different self-managed accounts. During the last ten months the heirs and beneficiaries have been trying to identify all the holdings and decide who has authority to manage the funds. Only recently they finally discovered the entire portfolio was comprised of 100% equity investments and 30% margin leverage, generating capital gains of about 28% since he died.
Which just goes to show you, a drunken fool can beat the average money manager even after he dies as long as Uncle Ben is still around and on their side.
Weird story. How does an alcoholic live to be 91 and I wonder if the booze did him in. What is even stranger is he was lucid enough to handle his portfolios. As we get in our 70s, 70s and 90s - financial risk control goes out the window in our minds. This is why older folks can get taken in easily. My guess is this guy was either really good or had no clue and was lucky.
Anyone with 30% leverage in these markets would be hitting the bottle or taking a huge risk.
My guess is lucky.
Or, he was the greatest investor in the world when he was in a drunken stupor and even better when he was dead.
I can also say with confidence that he never read Zerohedge or he would have been out of the market for the last 4 years.
Why? I read Zero Hedge religiously, yet I'm still in the market. There are a lot of people who do. The Hedge, like any other site, is a source of information.
Or Market Ticker and short everything except balls deep Blackberry.
30% leverage maybe explains WHY he was hitting the bottle!!??
We have a 95 year old client who used to be a farmer. He will will utilize various different options strategies when he invests. He doesn't need the money, he only does it to keep his mind sharp. He's done pretty well for himself over the years.
These things occur.
My one uncle was a chain smoker since 20 and an alcoholic since ~45 and he died at 82 - not from cancer or stroke or liver problems, but only because his smoking had killed almost all his pulmonary alveoli and he slowly asphyxiated. He was not invested in financial markets though \
I am more shocked an alcoholic reached 91. There's hope for me yet.
I know a lot more old drunks, than I do old doctors!
Those toddlers can't become part of the New Global Financial Elite™. The board misses gold, silver and bitcoin. Better luck next life, kids.
Asian people just really love their math!
Yep, they study stupid stuff like math,science and global finance.
We study gay equality, common (least common denominator) core and how "daddy government" loves us.
That's only because Bernanke.
Bernanke has the power of a million chimps pounding keys, or a hundren million children twiddling abacuseses.
He does it by hitting control P.
Look, RobotTrader ended up teaching pre-school in Hong Kong after his mom kicked him out of the basement.