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The Biggest Threat To Minimum Wage Restaurant Workers Everywhere?

Tyler Durden's picture


Over the past year, unionized restaurant workers across numerous fast-food chains but mostly at McDonalds, expressed their dissatisfaction with compensation levels by striking at increasingly more frequent intervals - a sentiment that has been facilitated by the president himself and his ever more frequent appeals for a raise in the minimum wage. Unfortunately, as we have pointed out previously, in the context of corporations that have given up on growing the top line (as virtually all free cash goes into stock buybacks and dividends and none into growth capex), and in pursuit of a rising bottom line, employee wages are the one variable cost that corporations will touch last of all. But what's worse, these same unionized employees have zero negotiating leverage.

Perhaps nowhere is this more visible than in the recent strategy of smoothie retailer Jamba Juice, which in order to battle a 4% drop in Q3 same store sales has decided to radically transform its entire retailing strategy by getting rid of labor, cheap, part-time or otherwise, altogether. Presenting the biggest threat to minimum-wage restaurant workers everywhere: the JambaGo self-serve machine that just made the vast majority of Jamba's employees obsolete. Coming soon to a fast-food retailer near you.

Why did Jamba just make its retail sales force obsolete? Part of the problem is heightened competition: McDonald’s has entered the smoothie market, and others like Dairy Queen and Panera spent the summer promoting their rival drinks. Which means even less top-line growth potential. It also means that in order to push more of the top line straight to earnings, and bypass variable costs, a problem that will be faced by increasingly more corporations, Jamba's corner office had no choice but to unleash JambaGo.

Bloomberg reports:

The smoothie chain is hoping to see improvement from something it calls “JambaGo,” a self-serve machine that can be installed in cafeterias, schools, and convenience stores. Jamba Juice makes money by selling the prepackaged, pre-blended smoothie ingredients to JambaGo vendors, like a soda maker selling syrup to the owner of a soda fountain. The advantages: Jamba doesn’t need to build a store and the labor costs are much lower compared with hiring staff to concoct made-to-order drinks.


The company expects this model to help expand its brand more quickly and cheaply. Last quarter, however, revenue from the JambaGo program amounted to just about $400,000. But having recently landed a deal with Target (TGT) to put JambaGo machines in 1,000 Target Cafés, the company will soon have installed more than 1,800 machines (up from only 404 at the start of 2013). By contrast, there are currently about 850 Jamba Juice stores.


Based on a goal of $2,000 in annual revenue per JambaGo, the rough math for 1,800 machines is $3.6 million—a decent boost for a company that took in $228.8 million in revenue last year. Another 1,000 are planned for 2014, which would bring in another $2 million in annual revenue.

Here's what happens next: Jamba will do what every other company does to demonstrate that its radical strategy is successful - fudge the numbers and beat EPS for several quarters. This will happen even if JambaGo is ultimately yet another loss leader. However, its peers will watch closely and soon decide to roll out their own version of just this: a self-contained dispenser of a la carte prepared fast-food food, either liquid or solid, and in the process let go tens of thousands of their own minimum-wage employees, also known to shareholders as "costs."

What happens after that should be clear to everyone: more unemployment, lower wages for the remaining employees, worse worker morale, but even higher profits to holders of capital. And so on. Because in a world in which technology makes the unqualified worker utterely irrelevant, this is what is known as "progress."


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Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:36 | 4147513 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

love me some fries.. So does Mary Jo - 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:38 | 4147526 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

I'll take that exotic-looking selection on the far right, please. To go.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:41 | 4147540 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Ahhh.... the Thai fish sandwich... good choice.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:51 | 4147557 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Consumer's give up any real power to choose when they become consumers.

Grow your own. 

Raise your own. 

Cook your own. 

Eat at home.

Keep your capital near your home; stop shipping your capital to Wall Street, Wal*Mart, and The Great Wall.

Sweet potato pie is back on the menu!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:52 | 4147583 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

No one really wants card board food,

  or fat chicks.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:59 | 4147610 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Those yams are giving me an inferiority complex!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:01 | 4147620 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Train to become a JambaGo self-serve repairman.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:09 | 4147650 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Do I gets me own uniform?  How is dem benefitz?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:16 | 4147677 knukles
knukles's picture

Not a problem, actually to the benefit of those poorly paid, no benefits workers...
Form the jobs they hold today, inure no sense of self-esteem.
Better they're put on the dole.
Treated better.
By ObieWorld

to sarc or not to sarc, that is the question, for reality has become so fucked up that misery is our new perpetual companion.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:21 | 4147697 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Enjoy your XTRA BIG ASS FRIES!!!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:48 | 4147789 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

My wife would give her left nut for those sweet potatoes - how did you get them soooo big?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:18 | 4147908 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I'm thinking it's YOUR left nut she'd be giving.

Sleep with one eye open!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 22:53 | 4148541 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Where's that vegan douchemonkey who freaks out every time people post home grown food animals?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 23:23 | 4148638 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

VD is hiding in his closet eating some beef jerky.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:32 | 4147957 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

A raised bed with well-forked, uncompacted soil in a sunny location will do wonders for most root crops. I had sweet potatoes that size last year.

What was stunning was that I didn't even put them in the ground until mid-July. I had 4 potted sweet potato plants I'd started from clippings of those I'd grown the previous year, but no space for them outside until I harvested the garlic. I put one in each corner of the 12' by 4' raised bed, encouraged them to vine toward the center, and cleared some straw from the soil every couple of feet so they could send down more roots. I had to dig them up mid-October to plant more garlic, and many were as big as those in HH's picture.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 00:37 | 4148835 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Those aren't sweet potatoes.  Those are garnet Yams.  Yams are potatoes.  Sweet potatoes are not.  Go figure.


Wed, 11/13/2013 - 04:17 | 4149069 akak
akak's picture

Actually, they ARE sweet potatoes.  Yams are tropical tubers only superficially similar to, but only distantly related to, sweet potatoes, and are rarely if ever seen, and never grown, in the USA. 

I know a lot of Southerners like to call sweet potatoes "yams", but yams are simply not an American crop.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:51 | 4147792 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Yeah, but aren't you going to miss the flavour of that extra-special juice mix the barista/juicemaster/whatever-they-call-him makes when he is having a bad day?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:50 | 4147796 MeMadMax
MeMadMax's picture

Machines don't bitch about long hours, no free healthcare, vacation time, raises, someone getting promoted when they should've been promoted, complain about customers, treat customers like shit, talk on the phone when they should be working, complain about their work, walk off the job, etc etc etc...



Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:14 | 4147882 Pizza man
Pizza man's picture

Was thinking along those exact lines. Workers used to ..well, work!

But i'm not happy with this new trend, because a job is also training and even of meager, represnets the potential to do better (if we ever have a real economy again) . We don't like the attitude of workers? Wait until they don't work, have zero future, but an ever worth-less government check. We that have anything to ou names will be living like they do in Jakarta and Latin America. Behind walls.


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:27 | 4147942 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

True, but the inventors probably didn't expect a material portion of passersby to ask where on the machine they're supposed to insert their dick.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:24 | 4147664 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Jamba Juice makes money by selling the prepackaged, pre-blended smoothie ingredients to JambaGo vendors, like a soda maker selling syrup to the owner of a soda fountain.

Sounds interesting.  I think I will pass, thank you. 

I much prefer fresh-picked berries in double-cream from our family cow.  The texture is sublime.  Some may prefer to add a little blackberry liquor as well.  I doubt that machine offers this option.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:41 | 4147720 prains
prains's picture

dang nab it! do you mean to say my revolutionary idea of McShitinYourMouth Drive Thru is gonna get beat to the punch by a damn juicing outfit !!!


back to rollin phatties I guess, excuse the pun


ask yourself a question folks!.... has somebody washed your Yams today?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:39 | 4147756 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Don't we already have this?  It is called VENDING MACHINES.

I don't eat out of vending machines cause in my Catholic high school we did not have a cafeteria - only vending machines - I can't do that again.

Thu, 11/28/2013 - 17:52 | 4197704 Glasnost
Glasnost's picture

What I don't understand is.....where does the money to buy those things come from.

The Dutch economy is service based, so if you eliminate all the service workers through automated machines, where does your income for your company come from?  Air?  Idiots. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:56 | 4147592 Rock On Roger
Rock On Roger's picture

Amen. That machine dispenses poison.

I like your tubers.


Stack On

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:10 | 4147655 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Fuck factory food.

Fuck the complete dissassociation of people from the economy.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:49 | 4148021 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Coming soon to McDonald's: the Vend-O-McMatic® Drive Thru, where you can order the new Shamrock Quarter-Pounder McSmoothie® and other new Happy McSmoothie Meal-Equivalent Drinks®.

You're lovin' it, dammit!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:53 | 4148039 akak
akak's picture

I can't wait for the Mcdrive-thru bathrooms too.


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:18 | 4148135 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

Where they wash all the potatoes?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:45 | 4148225 akak
akak's picture

... of their US 'american' citizenism taint.

After that, why, they taste just like kitten!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 21:00 | 4148273 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Alas, alas, plus another alas, facing choice of that durianity, somehow taste of kitten intrinsicately seems mildly less disgustingular than taste of taint. Still would need providement offuscationary tastings application the hot sauce judiciously.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:12 | 4147662 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

2000 whole dollars per machine per year! Give this CEO a big ass raise! He really does deserve to make a 1000 times his average workers salary. What a fucking genius! 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 21:46 | 4148385 spdrdr
spdrdr's picture

'xactly what I was wondering.

How much do these machines cost, to manufacture and service?  (I'm not even talking about power or re-stocking, just the basic operation)

$2,000 net per year is fucking crazy!  

You'd get much more than that from a Space Invaders console - today, let alone 40 years ago!

What the fuck is the ROI??




Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:14 | 4147673 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I'm not sure if it is a good idea to tell a married man that you like his tubers in a public forum.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:50 | 4148032 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Jane, get me off this crazy thing!!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:56 | 4148262 sgorem
sgorem's picture

you've got that right hedgeless. ain't technology great! Jamba's got a new app for that, "Fire Their Minimum Wage Asses!" download at

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 23:11 | 4148591 sgorem
sgorem's picture! they'll be makin' moar money and bennies on welfare. that's the permanent New Normal!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:20 | 4147695 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

At least the machines won't give you attitude and look at you like your racist when you order. No judgment shopping.

"Let me axed you a question. Do you want Fries wid tat?"

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 21:45 | 4148378 mikeadamson
mikeadamson's picture

Gee, why on earth would they think you're racist?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:47 | 4147562 NewAmericaNow
NewAmericaNow's picture

To Go? Don't let her get caught driving in Saudi Arabia or you'll have to bring her back for a full refund

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:48 | 4147565 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

And those machines will accept food stamps I'm sure....

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:54 | 4147808 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

No problemo!  Food Stamps became so much more universal when they morphed into the SNAP card.  Coincidence that Coke vending machines take "debit" cards these days?  

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:41 | 4147762 doctor10
doctor10's picture

Peasants are expensive to keep. In fact they might even blow up the central banks derivative house of cards.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:39 | 4147528 Mike Hunt Hurts
Mike Hunt Hurts's picture

Stupid machine fucked up my order

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:42 | 4147543 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Just wait 'til the JambaGo self-serve machines form a union...

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:48 | 4147564 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

and demand healthcare


seriously reminds me of the early star trek episodes though

funnier still...never have had a smothie made by someone who isnt me

didnt even know i could

still way they can use the fresh fruit i grow

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 00:02 | 4148759 Decolat
Decolat's picture

Does it spit in your food?


It better...

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:52 | 4147581 Mike Hunt Hurts
Mike Hunt Hurts's picture

Skynet Local 254 - on strike

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:07 | 4147640 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Make your own smoothie, fleshie!!!!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:56 | 4147814 Mike Hunt Hurts
Mike Hunt Hurts's picture

Cross this picket line and you will be Terminated

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:09 | 4147861 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture


But I still have teeth!

I refuse to eat through a straw.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:54 | 4148051 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

..and the machines were all kept equal, by hatchet, ax, and saw

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:35 | 4148186 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Some machines are more equal then others.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:48 | 4147566 pods
pods's picture

Why did I just imagine a Hanson saying that?


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:29 | 4147721 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

The Terminator was a documentary instead of Sc-Fi.  With one exception.  The robots will be friendly.....and may not even have a face or look human.

Ask the former Blockbuster employees if they don't understand this.....seeing as how a little "Red" robot kiosk helped put the knife into their jobs.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:40 | 4147529 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

This won't help achieve Mr. Yellen's 6.5%... 6% ... 5.5% ... unemployment rate target.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:14 | 4147670 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Sure it will - just have to take all the unemployed out of the "labor pool."

PS - So are these like the Auto-Mat - just without any style?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:42 | 4147764 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Isnt' Auto Mat like the burger restaurant in Amsterdam that has the little doors?  That is gross too and I won't eat that.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 23:31 | 4148666 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Seems like Dog food. ALpo in a machine.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:40 | 4147530 Zombie Investor
Zombie Investor's picture

Better yet, bye, bye Starbucks:

"Starbucks’ 95,000 baristas have a competitor. It doesn’t need sleep. It’s precise in a way that a human could never be. It requires no training. It can’t quit. It has memorized every one of its customers’ orders. There’s never a line for its perfectly turned-out drinks. It doesn’t require health insurance."

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:49 | 4147569 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

another place i dont frequent

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:52 | 4147584 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

The coffee vending machine concept brings up a good point that the machine will end up being the equivalent of the iPad to the computer.  You have both but you look up more things on the net with the iPad than the computer and the same will happen with these vending machines resulting in less trips to fast food restaurants leading to closings and less restaurant jobs.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:07 | 4147643 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

They're all over european highways for years; crappy coffee at ripoff prices (1.2 € as rule, a few years ago; costs me .6 € at local coffee shops).

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:51 | 4147798 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

That is 1.2 euro for 2 oz (or less).  But the coffee is delicious though (at least in France).

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:38 | 4147981 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Quality, well made coffee is good everywhere; vending machine is pretty much guaranteed crap. Homemade (bag, capsule) costs about .3 €/cup (7g).

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:01 | 4147619 css1971
css1971's picture


Here is Starbucks competition:

Where people are cutting costs, they are not going to be buying on the go at all. They will pony up the $10 for the mugs, another $10 for high quality coffee and just make their own, a cafetiere costs another $10, or a coffee machine maybe a bit more. Saving what $5? $10? per day as they do it.

Better coffee and it pays for itself in a week.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:38 | 4147752 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

With good beans and a stainless steel French press, one can make coffee that makes Starbucks swill taste like the burnt-beyond-mercy crap that it is, and for about 1/15th the cost.

Imbecile consumer sheeple lining up to buy $6 assbucks coffee when $6 could allow them to make the same amount of INFINITELY SUPERIOR coffee for about 45 cents.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:55 | 4147794 akak
akak's picture

Even worse, TIC, are the hordes of mindless, utterly lazy, mindless, gullible, trend-sucking, mindless, spendthrift, mindless, idiotic (and did I say MINDLESS?!) fools who buy WATER at $1.69 or $2.49 or whatever the fuck price at a 'convenience' store, when they could fill and carry a thermos, or the exact same fucking bottle for God's sake, for essentially FREE at home!  This bottled water bullshit trend has to be one of the biggest self-inflicted ripoffs and scams I have EVER seen in my life!  I'll be DAMNED if I am ever going to PAY for fucking water!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:19 | 4148137 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


This bottled water bullshit trend has to be one of the biggest self-inflicted ripoffs and scams I have EVER seen in my life!

Saturday at the grocery store in one of the beverage aisles I passed a couple searching the bottled water looking for the variety that was on sale. I just thought to myself that they could get the same product at a substantial savings by refilling their bottles from the tap.

I'll be DAMNED if I am ever going to PAY for fucking water!

Generally in agreement, although purchasing distilled water at 99 cents per gallon makes better use of my time than distilling it myself. I also have various uses for the polyethylene jugs which, to the garage scientist/experimenter/recycler, are far more useful and made with less troublesome chemicals than the poly(ethylene teraphthalate) water bottles.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:52 | 4148247 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

I think of my infantry days. Drinking sugar cain field puddle water with some iodine caps. And, talk about leaching plastic. I have no idea what those low bid canteens were made of. Coffee? Rip open instant powder pack, pour/knock back into mouth the powder and chase with said plastic/liodine pond scum.

So, its all good.
Won't do Starbucks. Overpriced and the help and sheeple creep me out.
McD, not bad.
Good instant, great.
I get it to waken up or continuing donkey rax slaving.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 02:41 | 4149012 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

If you ever taste the water coming out of the taps in my area, you would know why bottled water exists!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:23 | 4147930 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Good beans, ground immediately before going into aforementioned press, beats any coffee you can buy.

I'm a big fan.

I get through (on my own) about a Kilo of beans a week, so I may as well get it right!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:11 | 4148162 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

If you really want amazing coffee, use an extruder & brew under high pressure with a water temp at about 210 °F degrees (or 98.9 degree Celsius for those in the far saner world of the metric system) -

- even coffee made with average beans this way will taste incredible, and the cost comes down to about 1/30th of what assbucks charges per ounce. I don't drink coffee anymore, though. The caffeine interferes with my REM sleep patterns.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:32 | 4147728 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

We truly are in the Century of the Self:

"Think of it as the future. Think of it as empowerment. Your coffee, your way, flawlessly, every time, no judgments."
Had a great experience at Briggo? Why not tweet that? Invented a new combination of syrups and brew temperatures and other elements that yields the perfect drink? Tweet that, too."

Being so delusional must be bliss.

Then there's this:

"Barista robots are barely even a thing yet..."

What kind of garbage application of the English language is this? I've noticed more and more people asking "Is that a thing?". We really are progressing towards a 1984 style language where only the bare minimum of description is required, and everything will be a graded good.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:04 | 4148083 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

At least Newspeak used words.

We have txt-speak, and cannot even be bothered to spell out entire words.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:44 | 4147532 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Like I keep sayin .. . you humans won't be necessary much longer.

Never send a human to do a machine's job.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:57 | 4147603 Agent P
Agent P's picture

The factory/store of the future will consist of many machines, one man, and a dog.  The machines are there to do all the work, the man is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to make sure the man doesn't touch any of the machines. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:03 | 4147835 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Don't feed the dog, then..


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:16 | 4147682 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Might as well re-post this link thoughfully provided by another ZHer on the topic of possible futures in which workers are displaced by technology.  Pretty frightening, if thought provoking, stuff. . .

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:47 | 4147786 German quality ...
German quality Journalism's picture

Sadly that's also true for engineers. I don't get why many people think that engineering will be safe from automation. You, Agent Smith, have taken many of those jobs over already:

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:40 | 4147533 akak
akak's picture

Maybe their sales would be better if they stopped using unripe and crappy fruit in their smoothies.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:05 | 4147628 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The Jamba Juice business model is all wrong.  The key to that business is locate tiny, low-overhead juice counters within carting distance of any kind of fruit seller, that way, when fruit is on the cusp of overripening (aka peak deliciousness) however not selling, Jamba can buy up what would otherwise be wasted inventory and use it quickly, gaining profits on their value-adding process (blending with smoothie ingredients).  This is the economy of the food bazaar for ages: counters preparing food purchased from wholesalers on the cusp of spoilage.  You eat and buy at the same market. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:21 | 4148144 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Have you tried their durian smoothie yet?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 04:26 | 4149072 akak
akak's picture

Alas, alas, three vomitingationalizings alas, aroma and tasting of durian of dairy smoothing was upping more than just slightly the remindings of typical Chinese roadside on hot summer day.  River pigness on high order monolizing the putrifying means such as like and beyond some more, no treat for the sophisticated US 'american' citizenism palate.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 05:31 | 4149120 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, ah, picture paintment achieved throating describementational wordings monolizing the river pigmentary retching means of durianity pours guffawment raughing out roudry.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:40 | 4147534 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

So you want a raise huh?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:41 | 4147537 Seer
Seer's picture

Yay!  Now all those ex-restaurant workers can become higher-paid machine service technicians!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:45 | 4147775 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Coming soon to a "restaurant" near you - "Why U give me no sammiches, bitch?":

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:42 | 4147548 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Funny how that works.   Liberals get uber-happy that they win a minimum wage vote somewhere and someone comes in and automates hundreds of jobs by a corporation with an incentive to keep costs under control due to government disrupting the orderly flow.  At least the refill and  guy to the vending machines won't be making minimum wage as they'll probably get an incentive to keep the machines filled and get a higher take.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:42 | 4147550 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Enjoy your 'BIG ASS FRIES'!"

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:17 | 4147902 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

Oh, man.. I gotta watch this!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:43 | 4147551 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

It's a brand new economy for a brand new society: 0% labor x 100% customers = absolute profit.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:44 | 4147556 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

And you know McDonald's corp must be working on a super vending machine to sell their franchisees down the road

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:13 | 4147667 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

It's the next smart phone killer ap -- ordering and automatic preparation, serving and billing of fast food at the drive up window. There is no other way to get your food. The only need for humans is feeding the machine with supplies and maintenance. There is nothing about most fast food that cannot be automated.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:49 | 4147570 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Guess they'll have to kill off all the excess humans or teach robots how to drink Jamba Juice.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:52 | 4147579 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

or vice versa

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:51 | 4147578 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Smoothies are gay.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:53 | 4147589 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

favorite comment on thread so far

+1 for accuracy

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:58 | 4147606 conspicio
conspicio's picture

Ahem, the speech police demand you rephrase to:

"Smoothies are LGBTQueer."


Back to language camp for you, komrade.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:21 | 4147699 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

let me go smoke a fag 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:59 | 4147609 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Every non-alcoholic beverage over $3 is gay. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:53 | 4147585 pitterrier
pitterrier's picture

In the opposite world we are living in, we especially need an open border policy to fix this potential labor problem. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:03 | 4147595 conspicio
conspicio's picture

Tylers - you are missing another big angle on this story, and that is SUBSIDY.

Jamba is looking to place (and is placing) these self serve machines in schools of all stripes and get your tax dollars to operate there. After all, an unhealthy apparatchik is almost like no apparatchik at all!

"[JambaGo smoothies] are compliant with recently enacted federal school meal guidelines that double the amount of fruit required to be served." (

And their Blend 2.0 business plan is a fascinating peek into the labor-less growth mode of the company.

PS, Ms exotic semi-hipster is 'shopped into that photo just like she is about every other Jamba ad for this JambaGo platform.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:13 | 4147669 RobD
RobD's picture

Just another .gov promoted bogus "healthy" promotion. Right up there with vegetable oils(trans fats/highly refined) instead of animal fats,  and the high carb/sugar  food pyramid. Modern highly selectively cultivated fruits are pure sugar with a little fiber and not much better for you then HFCS.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:39 | 4147755 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

I'll eat a pound a sugar a day before ever touching HFCS ever again or any fake sweetener.. real sugar stops the craving and doesn't fuck with your body.


You'll eat a lot less sweets if they are always real sugar

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:01 | 4147825 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Once TPTB get done creating a healthcare shortage, they're going to set their sights on Food reform ... you'll look forward one day to the good old days when you had a variety of HFCS goods like Cheesey-poofs rather than the same old bowl of rice you will get for your day's labours in the paddies.  


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:55 | 4147596 atomicwasted
atomicwasted's picture

Unskilled workers need to get themselves some skills.  They are increasingly irrelevant.  Sometimes they don't have skills through no fault of their own.  However, that's not the case most of the time.  Learn to do anything, whether plumbing or picking vegetables or mixing asphalt.  My local garbage workers are going on strike for even more money, when they do nothing but drive a truck around and pick up containers with a mechanical arm attached to the truck.  The sooner that truck gets automated/roboticized, and those guys are no longer sullying the payroll, the better.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:13 | 4147668 adr
adr's picture

Fucking plumbers charge more than dentists. Most of the time they just need to tighten a nut. Then you get a $350 bill.

The problem is getting bonded and insured so you can advertise plumbing services is too expensive for individuals so all the work goes out to large conglomerates. The guy going to you house to actually do the work gets like $20 and the fuck company takes $300 for the privilege of taking you call and sending him there.

Service Experts ranks high on the list of shit corporations of all time.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:42 | 4147760 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Then get on your knees yourself fucknut or pay the man and admire his mooncrack


And there are plenty of local plumbers, you calling the corporations is your own fault...oh oh but it is cheaper..  so is wanking 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:55 | 4147598 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Somebody is going to open a RobotBurger joint soon and clean everybody's clock with higher quality at a lower price. 

Imagine a burger joint that's totally consistent, always fast and open 24/7/365 and never makes you sick becase somebody forgot to wash their hands. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:07 | 4147854 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Plus, nobody spits on your food.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:32 | 4148178 nodhannum
nodhannum's picture

Dat be Racis-s-s-s-s!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:56 | 4147599 joego1
joego1's picture

The great promise of the industrial age was that people would have better lives because the machines would be doing all the dirty work. I guess some do.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:57 | 4147602 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Nothing says romantic date night like vending machines.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:08 | 4147645 adr
adr's picture

I've seen vending machines for that in Japan. If romantic means 12" jelly dongs and vibrating nipple clamps.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:49 | 4147790 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

and some used panties for that 'just like being there' experience

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:58 | 4147607 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

And it won't spit on your food or lick the taco shells like this recent jerkoff:

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:19 | 4147691 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Taco Bell seems to have more than its share of this kind of problem. In the TB near where I lived, one of the employees was caught putting his shit in the refried beans. A number of customers got sick.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:25 | 4147705 SquirrelButtDan
SquirrelButtDan's picture

Read your comment twice and LOL'd twice. Yeah that does not surprise me.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:28 | 4147717 akak
akak's picture

Get the runs at the Border!

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:44 | 4147772 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Go to Sonic then - the absolute best fast food franchise short of In and Out.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:27 | 4147713 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

A couple of years ago, a store near me had a guy who was handing out free samples of yogurt.  He had jacked off into several of them and was caught because one woman recognized the taste.  She even went on record with the newspaper.  Yeah, it was hilarious, and I want that chick's phone number.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:58 | 4147608 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Take EBT?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 17:59 | 4147612 olto
olto's picture



Please, look for some news----these free ads are not so interesting---there must be something more pertinent than this.

How about something than matters rather than frightening the only people working in the economy?

Thank you

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:11 | 4147660 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Why do you work?  Why do you pay your bills??   They outsourced the collection agency... you scared of a mumbling fool on the phone?



Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:01 | 4147623 Hagen
Hagen's picture

They have manages to find a lean in the USA. A whole exploit.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:02 | 4147624 unplugged
unplugged's picture

Who needs a job anyway - work is for suckers.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:02 | 4147627 trader1
trader1's picture

the biggest threat is the slavsquat

easy on the knees


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:04 | 4147630 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Somewhere in the US in the next year some pols and crats will outlaw such machines.

You heard it here first.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:05 | 4147637 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Brilliant!  Lower that labor cost.  Now if we could just figure a way to lower those upper management costs...

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:06 | 4147638 adr
adr's picture

All you need is that special ingredient and your daily ration card.

If nobody works, where does the money come from to pay for everything?

My liberal friends either can't answer the question or say that's what government is for. To provide for the people. I then ask the question again. I then usually get, "If the government can create money, then it can give money to the people."

Maybe .gov needs to sell "1984 or Bust" bumper stickers. Or "Going Orwellian", "Love Running Man".

If Obama ran a third term with a platform of turning the Hunger Games real, he'd probably win in a landslide. "I want you to know...that I'm looking out...for you. Which is why...I've instituted a new policy. That every four years...we send...ten thousand youths...from every fight for each state. The winning state...gets health insurance paid...for the next four years. It will be the Obamacare Games."

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:31 | 4147722 SquirrelButtDan
SquirrelButtDan's picture

Entertaining as always adr. ;) I'd buy season tickets to support the Obamacare Games.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:47 | 4147787 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Actually the more difficult response from a liberal is - "Gee this country is so rich that we can't afford to help these people."

What is your response to that?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:43 | 4147745 akak
akak's picture

The logical end result here is machines that have sex for us ... and machines that have babies for us ... and machines that feed us .... and machines that dispense drugs to us ... and machines that bury us.  Then machines that cut out all the middle hassle, and bury us as soon as we are born.  Then machines that simply say "Fuck all this human shit, we don't need it".

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:49 | 4148023 gearbaby
gearbaby's picture


Blame the "libs," Obama and all the "progressives."

Just don't blame the CORPORATIONS.

You're a total ignoramus. 

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:55 | 4148053 akak
akak's picture


Blame the "libs," Obama and all the "progressives."

Just don't blame the CORPORATIONS.

And the difference would be ....?

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:07 | 4147642 giggler321
giggler321's picture

Rather than Juicers for a business; they'll have no end of profits from this baby, a sure fire investment if I ever saw one,

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:11 | 4147653 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

This company makes a profit?

What demographic actually BUYS this kind of expensive drink anyway?  They must have government jobs.  

I sure as hell have to think twice even to pay $1.40 for a coffee...


Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:37 | 4147747 yogibear
yogibear's picture

"I sure as hell have to think twice even to pay $1.40 for a coffee.."

Generation debt waits in line to buy expensive coffee at Starbucks.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 19:05 | 4147843 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Starbucks grande is $1.95 in California - so you are saving .55?  Congrats you can retire next year.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 22:30 | 4148487 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

The cost of a tall is even less. Starbucks has more jolt that fast food coffee, good value.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:36 | 4148193 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


What demographic actually BUYS this kind of expensive drink anyway?

Casey Serin.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:13 | 4147654 unplugged
unplugged's picture

When will GoBlowYourself arrive?  (automated blowjobs - never has a headache)

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:26 | 4147707 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Peculiar as it may sound, you could be on to something there.

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 18:29 | 4147716 unplugged
unplugged's picture

Has to be better than the 'glory hole'

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:24 | 4148154 nodhannum
nodhannum's picture

But does it swallow?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 01:04 | 4148870 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Yes - you'll hear what sounds like an industrial use hoover vaccum turn right on just when you press on the screen that you're about to "arrive."

Tue, 11/12/2013 - 20:47 | 4148233 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Already got it.. It's called the "Venus". It's the same people that gave us the "Sybian".


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