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Government Enron: Add Obamacare To Your Shopping Cart? Consider Yourself Enrolled
With the numbers of 'real' enrollees in Obamacare looking dismal relative to government expectations, and the deadline for the first official details of the health law's enrollment figures due later this week, the administration has decided - in an oh so US Government-esque move - to change the rules. An enrollee is now defined as people who have purchased a plan (normal health insurance plan protocol) as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid. As The Washington Post notes, the disparity in the numbers is likely to further inflame the political fight especially in light of the fact that - for context - the average e-commerce shopping cart abandonment rate is 67%.
The fight over how to define the new health law’s success is coming down to one question: Who counts as an Obamacare enrollee?
Health insurance plans only count subscribers as enrolled in a health plan once they’ve submited a payment. That is when the carrier sends out a member card and begins paying doctor bills.
When the Obama administration releases health law enrollment figures later this week, though, it will use a more expansive definition. It will count people who have purchased a plan as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid.
“In the data that will be released this week, ‘enrollment’ will measure people who have filled out an application and selected a qualified health plan in the marketplace,” said an administration official, who requested anonymity to frankly describe the methodology.
The disparity in the numbers is likely to further inflame the political fight over the Affordable Care Act. Each side could choose a number to make the case that the health law is making progress or failing miserably.
So, yet again, the baffle em with bullshit propaganda machine that was once beholden only to the Chinese is now ubiquitous with political factions 'picking' - or manufacturing - the numbers that suit them - as opposed to ever facing up to the reality of unintended consequences and the end of the free lunch...
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Well, the paper-pushers at the insurance companies will certainly be happy you did...
If you are going to simply make shit up, make sure everyone is on the same page...
roll the mother fucking guillotines...
we will all be a lot healthier for it...
"but have not yet paid."
Oh I thought Obamacare was FREE...
Truly the only free thing is starvation....
T'is the season to enroll. What can be a true gift this Christmas, than enrolling in Obamacare !! Truly a blessed event.
Would a tax be any less onerous if it were named the rose?
Orwell was really onto something with that Newspeak thing.
I will not comply.
I wonder how long before those with a health plan in their shopping cart but have not submitted start having the premiums automatically deducted from their financial accounts.
In order to sign up and actually be allowed to choose a plan you had to enter all your personal information including bank account numbers.
Time to shear the sheep.
So, using the rules of logic, this screencap of an APMEX shopping cart should be good enough for me to pay my federal taxes.
I use those plastic baskets instead of shopping carts at stores.
So, am I enrolled in Obamacare or not?
Just put food in your basket at Wal*Mart to enroll in SNAP.
With this government accounting precedent, the valuation of AMZN should skyrocket.
Having almost subscribed to The Economist, Steve Liesman is happy to announce that he is now an economist!
To register for The Draft, now, all one must do is fill out the Selective Service form, but not actually send it in!
I don't have to worry about the Selective Service Draft.
I found a crooked S.S. Disability doctor to cook the medical reports.
Going to Wal*Mart with my SSDI check and my shopping basket!
Better yet, I'm going to the bank to deposit funds in my business account today. I'll be adding an estimated amount of cash to the deposit ticket entry for all of the cleints who called me, said they'd hire me, and haven't paid for my services; I don't have the cash. I'm sure the bank will credit my account for this amount, since these clients have actually hired and paid me under the .guv definition.
does this mean i actually own the players on my fantasy football team now?
I looked at a fat ugly woman at the post office this morning.
Does that mean I am now married?
We can call it a penalty. Too much time in the shopping cart. 15 yards.
As for who counts? Wake me up when the funds start being withdrawn from the EBT cards.
The real trick is that they've achieved a massive tax increase on the proles under the guise of delivering healthcare.
The spin machine is going to have some issues because at the end of the day there is a real accounting of income, revenue less expenses. This real accounting will be used by insurance companies to set the 2015 rates which will be published in October 2014 right before the November elections.
That is funny!
What planet are you from, dude? Here on Earth, this is what passes as "real" accounting...
AKA, mark to unicorns and rainbows.
If that actually happens you will see my shocked face :0
Plus they've created a few jobs for heroic Obamanaut "navigators", the ones on the other end of 1 800 FU.... Warning: Do not read the following link or watch the accompanying video while trying to swallow something.http://www.nationalreview.com/article/363699/truth-about-navigators-john...
beatings are the new reward and morale always upbeat(en).
I just tried it at Silvergoldbull.com ....and as of yet i don't have a tracking number for 10 gold maples i put in my cart
Barry needs a case of Astroglide.
Then he'd have two cases.
The Wookie ain't got a slippery hole like she used ta, yo.
Technically it is free as you never actually make a payment.
Don't these people know that likes, retweets and pageviews are the only credible metrics.
Would anyone really expect anything diffetrnt from yhe narcissistic pathologic illegal alien kenyan monkeyboy? Duh
I was almost afraid to click on the article, getting an email stating that reading about it enrolls you...
Holy Shit, do you guys know how many things I have now considered "purchased" on the Internet over the past 15 years !!!!.....
That is blatantly a lie. Those people either went that far to see the cost of the plans, or got that far and realized they either can afford the house, or this plan and a van down by the river.
That 67% rate is way low.
When the hell are people at these dog and pony shows going to actually grow a pair and call bullshit?
Can't wait for the radio soundbytes that show how x million have now enrolled and things are hunky dory.
Fucking shameful.
pods
Desperate times call for desperate lies. This is more true for government than anything else.
This is just a pre-cursor or trial-ballon if you will for the inevitable outcome which is those eligible will be automatically enrolled. Just a simple pen stroke in the form of a presidential order to 'adjust' the ACA enrollment from a voluntary mandate to automatic enrollment based on your 2014 Form 1040.
I'm signin' up for the gold plan, bitchez!
But hey, who restocks the shelves from all of those abandoned shopping carts?
Fuck the Progessives!
Why so limited? Fuck the collectivists!
Fuck anyone who thinks they have a right to rule over another.
pods
This is so comical. I don't know a single person who works in government. Are they all that clueless?
They prefer you think it 'comical' rather than criminal.
Channel stuffing.
Cars are 'sold' when looky-loos walk on the lot.
Dear Government Employees,
Please...don't insult our collective intelligence. In case you had not noticed, we have adapted...and so should you. We no longer watch NBC, CBS, of FOX. Instead, we use any number of internet news sources to gather in the truth. The most lazy of the propagandists is no longer needed [ie you can fire the guy who decided the whole "in cart" thing per ZeroCare]...and promote another more clever propagandist in his place.
Ditto this to all bankers. We no longer buy stocks from you, nor are most of interested in buying overpriced houses with giant anvil like debt anchors around our necks. Please, continue to purge your employment ranks.
with love
Cdad
P.S.
Honest to pete...how does J. Cramer still have a job? Shares of COMCAST should be sold every day until this particular propagandist is no longer ranting and raving on air. Just...just.....unreal.....
As long as the sheeple play the voting game, they could not care less about your enlightenment.
"...they could not care less about your enlightenment"
You literally could not have made a more incorrect statement in response.
Only in America
They should just have the FED print up some subscribers.
EPIC FAIL.
Digitlman is correct. Flopperoo. El Floppo.
If the Administration is struggling to arrive at a definition of 'Enrolled' like that slimeball Clinton defining 'is', this serves to reveal what a desperate, breathless farce and fuckup the ACA has become/
Secret enrollment numbers? What an open farce Obama & Co. have made of the office of the Presidency.
This even before addressing online security issues; before addressing the issue of intimate financial and personal information in the hands of $9.95 / hour ACORN reps.
This even assuming the law has a shred of validity.
How much is the information on each enrollee worth, street value?
You could find your bank info thrown into a tranche and sold off to an Estonian hacker who will drain your account from 4,000 miles away.
Stay Away.
No, they form an LLC and buy your numbers from Experian. Could you imagine the problems with data from government?
http://krebsonsecurity.com/2013/10/experian-sold-consumer-data-to-id-theft-service/
pods
Great ! .... ObamaScare sitting in the shopping carts waiting for a check from the free shit army.
These morons are making deception waaay tooo complicated.
At this rate I will be paying under $3 a gallon for gas in NY. That is insane. No one can afford gas anymore. There is your supply and demand. We are taking the next big leg down now in society, except this time the market won't even pretend to be interested.
Just my observation in my area, but it seems the past few years the price of gas has gone down for the holidays but starts to shoot back up in Janurary after the holidays. I think it's to kick the economic (retail) can down the road a little bit further. I don't buy the "oh well it's a different blend for winter". January and February are still winter for most in the US.
An enrollee is now defined as people who have purchased a plan (normal health insurance plan protocol) as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid.
Coming soon: Having a health insurance plan is now defined as the same thing as receiving medical care and getting what they give you is now defined as getting what you need.
Solves World Hunger if you define people as "intending to eat a meal whenever one becomes available"
Why don't they just make it mandatory? I guess that's too easy.
Because the Obama administration has not yet openly declared itself a dictatorship and still feels somewhat obligated to at least go through the motions of governance by consent as opposed to forcing people into whatever conforms to their latest whimsy.
Frustrating I know but we’ll be there soon enough.
Operative word there- "yet".
So if these people are "enrollees" then they are enrolled and their obligation under the law should be fulfilled (at least as far as the IRS is concerned)...
Yes as soon as the IRS enrolls them automatically based on their 2014 Form 1040 and enforces their monthly payment in the form of garnishing their weekly wages.
So does having a plan in my shopping cart mean I'm covered in case I need to see a doctor?
Welcome to peak delusion.
Fuck Obama. Cunt.
The plan will work just as Social Security and Medicare have worked. It will save $Trillions of dollars and allow millions to have insurance that otherwise would be in the emergency room...with me paying the tab. Get real people. The markets are up over 100% since 2009...is anyone aware of that? The last time we had the returns on investment we have had over the last 5 years, we had a DEM. in the whithouse. (Clinton.) LOL !!! "Bushed" left us with a disaster.
Keep drinking the kool aid mr. The market being up 100% has nothing to do with policy and everything to do with the Bernank and his magical printing press. As far as Clinton... he signed the Gramm, Leach, Bliley act which repealed Glass Stegall and unleashed the big banks. And he also signed NAFTA which was the major push for the exodus of jobs from the U.S.
And they're working on the TPP, or Trans Pacific Partnership covertly as we type.
Once that's signed by the Traitor In Chief I guess we'll be hearing a new sucking sound as more manufacturing jobs head west while the Ovomit Free Shiite Army grows and toxic chicken and plastic trinkets head east.
[SARC] ?
Ten bucks sez he doubles down on it.
Ponzi schemes always work, until they dont.
I can't tell if you are retarded or sarcastic. Either way, you are not very good.
pods
When I was in college, some kids on our floor gave a good pitch for a couldn't lose pyramid scheme. Just hand over $100 to them and then you just need to find 10 people to hand you $100 to break even and you can make $10 per person after the initial 10. Of course the thing crashed a couple of days later and the financial "whizzes" had to move out due to threats.
Even if what you are saying about SS, Medicare and the ACA was true (LOL only an idiot could think that) don't you still want to know the real number of people that actually signed up?
What is really disturbing is you are cheering the fact that you are being lied to.
You are correct. For you next trick, let's see if you can tell us how that amazing run up in the stock market ended. Free money has consequences. The price we as a society pay for our glorious central planners attempting to ignore reality.
Why the fuck did I even bother responding to this sock puppet....
'Shopping cart'...LOL USSA is just 1 big forced Wal*Mart now...we r so #fucked.
Soon they will realize that the majority of the people really, really don't want this and will "vote" with their fingers.
"Will you comply?"
"No! We also don't appreciate being lied to."
Well beyond 'not appreciating' this constant reign of shit, I'm really to the point of armed defense against it.
In the world of made up economic numbers, this hardly comes as a surprise.
as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid
Now that is AGGressive Revenue Recognition likely to lead to huge increases in reported GDP
Lies, damn lies and statistics.
67% of all staistics are false.
On the up-side, I was planning, once I waa forced to do so, to simply sign up, pay the first bill, or a portion thereof, and then welsh on the rest. With my insurance card in hand, I would be safe from the IRS. When I got a late payment notice from the hapless insurance co, I wold just say, "FUCK YOU, YOU FASCIST PIECE OF SHIT, IM NOT PAYING HAHAHAHA!
But now, all I have to do is load my cart (gold plan bitchez!) and not pay. Can this get any better?
I guess the question begs at this point. Do they allow you to pay by check once a month or do they require you to attach a bank account that can have premiums withdrawn from it once a month.
Anyone know for sure?
Soon to come - a mandate that you must purchase everything you have ever put into your shoping cart ... or pay a fine, I mean tax.
SCOTUS to uphold the mandate as constitutional in 3 2 1 ...
I was just thinking the same thing. It's as if everything on your Amazon Wish List is still on your Wish List, but you get to pay for it AND pay tax on it too...
I guess I'll be receiving a shiite load of penis pumps, plastic vaginas, and anal lube in the mailbox very soon, along with every back issue of Tits and Ass weekly.
They received their instructions on how to count from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
IRS: SEASMOKE WE ARE HERE TO COLLECT OUR FINE. YOU DIDNT SIGN UP FOR ZEROCARE.
SEASMOKE : SURE I DID. ITS STILL SITTING IN THE CART.
Can I pay for it with my EBT card? I can! Well hell, I thought you needed money....
I must purchase auto insurance. I must get a drivers licence. I must stop at stop signs. Oh wait, that's what a civilized society is all about...the rest of the world has been doing this for thousands of years. The U.S.A. 250 year old experiment is just getting started. I live where every child gets an education through college and everyone born gets healthcare. 1 or 2 gun crimes in the last 10 years. LOL !!! KISS.
-----> whine?
-----> gloat?
So where does that guy live?
In the mythical land of Unicorns and Fairy Dust?
Yes. I think it's called Norway, but I could be wrong.
I must purchase auto insurance. I must get a drivers licence.
No....you can just ride the subway or hail a cab half-twit.
So how did Obama get a driver's license without a valid birth certificate? Why is he charging so much for insurance no one can afford it? Why are 20 people being shot in "gun free" Chicago every weekend? Why are government inner city high schools so bad that few can qualify for college after they get out or drop out?
I drive and I don't purchase auto insurance...my drivers license is expired....doesn't bother me....want are you gonna do about it????
I drive and I don't purchase auto insurance...my drivers license is expired....doesn't bother me....want are you gonna do about it????
So then people can just leave a plan in their cart to avoid the tax/penalty for not having "purchased" insurance, right?
This whole law was a con job from the very start and the fraud now continues. This lie perpetrated on the American people comes right from the president and in my opinion is an impeachable offense. When you are told over and over you can keep your health insurance and your doctor if you like them and it turns out you can't by the law enacted that's an impeachable offense. What makes it so egregious is that it could very likely impact every American and it was intentional that you could not keep your insurance. When your insurance costs double and you can't keep your doctor or your insurance you've had a fraud committed against you. For some the loss of insurance becomes a matter life and death. This is a very big deal people.
No one should be surprised at this point how far this administration will go to keep this signature lie from developing into a full blown take down scandal.
Most of those orders not paid for are the Press trying to figure it out....for the story...they have no plans on buying...but i knowthese numbers will put the BLS to shame...even they will be embarresed
"as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid ... AND as well as those who was thinking of visiting Obamacare site... yeahhh take that!"
Ok, if 0bama likes this crap sandwich so much lets sign that MF'ing cracking smoking homo up a few million times. Here is his SSN: 042-68-4425. Enjoy.
That's his IQ, hat size, and ego in cu. ft.
This could back fire - not with the 35% of folks that would support Obama no matter what he does.
But there are a significant number of people - call them "in the middle independents" that voted for him - but are starting to lean against him - NSA spying, Syria, Benghazi, government shut down, Obamacare web site disaster - something like this may be the straw that breaks the camels back.
With 47 million "Americans" (I'm sure that counts democrat voting illegals as well) on food stamps, NOBODY has any money to buy health insurance - subsidized or not.
Just in case nobody at the NYT and the Daily Kos noticed.
Democrats (and RINOs). The New American Fascist Party.
Working hard for Wall Street since 1913.
Hey Barry,
The fucking planet calls bullshit you prick.
Two important flags to raise:
1) Both the medicaid signups and health insurance signups are being reported together as though they are one in the same. No, I didn't expect factual accuracy from anyone nor do I foresee a time when that will be reported truthfully and transparently. By all casual accounts, the overwhelming majority of "signups" or "enrollments" (whatever the hell they mean, see below) are trending medicaid, not health insurance. Faced with the premiums of health insurance, that $95 penalty is looking too good this next year for most of the alleged slopeheaded low info flyover country minions. But Medicaid is free free free! No penalty! Sign up, sign up, come one come all! Someone may manage to force a separation of reporting Medicaid from Health Insurance, but I am not holding my breath as these same someones cannot even force the BLS to untangle their web of lies and deceit.
2) Since this administration has been willing to lie profusely on the BLS reports (AMAZING UNEMPLOYMENT NUMBERS! WOOHOO!), I fully expect they will do the same for their accounting here. I expect lagging (2+ months) downward revisions mirroring BLS strategies on the reported Obamacare numbers. I would expect that in the months leading up to the 2014 elections, the reporting will be AMAZING! and then revised downward very quietly. I expect these fungible definitions to keep changing to meet the dishonest intentions of that person saying the words. Enrollment you say? Why yes, it means many things to many people. There will be no accountability, same as it has been before.
REMEMBER - the goal is not to fix the problem, the goal is to break the system.
That sounds about right. When the petition was floating out there for immediate ban on certain guns I went to the WH petition site to read it. You are supposed to create an account before being able to sign an electronic petition. I had been to that site to read other petitions before but had never created an account let alone signed any.
On this particular petition however, after merely clicking and reading it, the site told me "thank you for signing this petition." My curiosity was enough to grant them my complicancy and signature.
Be aware, rubbernecking online is not a spectator sport!
Actually, enrollment is 100%....just a few people have not started the process....NSA and IRS will make you pay...
Exactly B2u
This enrollment design flaw in the ACA will be 'fixed' by replacing the individual mandate with an automatic enrollment feature based on your 2014 Form 1040. Don't worry, the IRS computer will take care of everything for you.
In order for Obamacare to work, an enrollment in the new food programme will be found as a necessity. For the base pay of a few hundred bucks per month per family member, all the americans will have the right to have food on their table. Forward ObamaTeam!