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Goldman Congratulates Its 280 Newly Promoted Managing Directors

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Last year it was 266, this year the number of promoted Goldman MDs has risen to 280: the wealth effect is finally trickling down to the firm that does god's work.

The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. (NYSE: GS) today announced that it has selected a new class of Managing Directors as of January 1, 2014, the start of our next fiscal year. 

“We wish our new Managing Directors continued success and thank them for their dedication and hard work representing the firm and our clients,” said Lloyd C. Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs. 

The following individuals have been promoted to Managing Director:

Katherine Abrat

Afsheen Afshar

Puneet Agarwal

Sergio Akselrad

Philip Aldis

Jean Altier Bohm

Margaret Anadu

Vishweshwar Anantharam

Alexi Antolovich

Silvia Ardagna

Matthew Armas

Anthony Arnold

Yacov Arnopolin

Celine Assouline

Roberto Awad

Amin Azmoudeh

Davie Baccei

Eric Bai

Taran Bakker

Paddy Balasubramanian

Kevin Barker

Lindsay Basloe

Peter Beckman

Collin Bell

Navtej Bhullar

Francois-Xavier Bouillet

Douglas Bouquard

David Bowen

Elizabeth Bowyer

Sarah Brungs

Michael Bruun

Beat Cabiallavetta

Niharika Cabiallavetta

John Cahill

Greg Calnon

Robert Camacho

David Campbell

Thomas Campbell

Michael Casey

John Cassidy

Pascal Cerf

Tiffani Chambers

Sharmini Chetwode

Patricia Chew

Travis Chmelka

Lisa Coar

Charles Cognata

Dahlia Cohen

Rod Colburn

Peter Colven

Stuart Connolly

Stephen Considine

Damien Courvalin

Nora Creedon

Alicia Crighton

Adam Crook (Securities)

Piers Curle

Michael D'Addario

Aneesh Daga

Matt Dailey

Viktor Danielson

Eric Dann

Suzanne de Verdelon

Banu Demirkiran

Michael Deninno

Stratford Dennis

Anthony DeRose

Arun Dhar

Scott Diamond

Rachel Diller

Lin Ding

Rohan Doctor

Anthony Duggan

Sinead Dunphy

Michael Durso

Michael Eakins

Mike Ebeling

Kene Ejikeme

Simon Ennis

Ashley Everett

Amir Fais

Joseph Femenia

Ivan Fillon

Andrew Fisher

Andrew Flahive

Brian Fortson

Bridget Fraser

Olivier Frendo

Gedaliah Friedenberg

Nicolas Friedman

James Fulton

Roger Gardiner

Grace Ge

Matija Gergolet

Phil Giuca

Brian Glass

Ward Glassmeyer

Craig Glassner

Nicholas Godfrey

Lawrence Grassi

Jett Greenberg

David Gribble

Benjamin Grizzle

Anil Grover (LCA Tech)

Fredrik Grunberger

Dominic Gurney

David Ha

Kirsten Hagen

Digboloy Halder

Phillip Han

Sarah Harper

Nick Hartley

Hunter Henry

Debra Herschmann

Michael Hickey

Michael Higgins

Axel Hoefer

Judy Hong

Tim Hooley

Erdit Hoxha

James Huckaby

Michael Husson

Maximos Iakovlev

Inci Isikli

Omer Ismail

Glade Jacobsen

Sumedh Jaiswal

Michael Jalkut

Channa Jayaweera

Derek Jean-Baptiste

Chito Jeyarajah

Jessica Jones

Sami Kamhawi

Geraldine Keefe

Zaid Khaldi

Talat Khan

Gautam Khanna

Robert Kimmel

Hiroki Kimoto

Gil Klemann

Victor Klimchenko

Gordon Kluzak

Heidi Kniesel

Kimiyasu Kono

Joseph Konzelmann

Eric Kramer

Pavel Krotkov

Rohit Kumar

Yojiro Kunitomo

David LaBianca

Jonathan Lamm

Adam Lane

Risa Lederhandler

Andrei Legostaev

Matt Leisen

Vincenzo Lento

Wesley LePatner

Xufa Liao

Brian Liloia

Reginaldo Lima

Marcel Liplijn

Malcolm MacDonald

John Marshall

Jonathan Matz

Patty McCarthy

Michael McGinn

Alan McLean

Olympia McNerney

Scott Mehling

Noa Meyer

Alexandra Miani

Jung Min

Jerry Minier

Anthony Mirabile

Anindya Mohinta

Mike Mooney

Sam Morgan

Will Morgan

Peter Morreale

Rick Morris (Securities)

Piyush Mubayi

Kaushik Murali

Mark Najarian

Josh Newsome

Logan Nicholson

Mike Nickols

Sergei Nodelman

Jolie Norris

Edward Oakley

Timothy O'Donovan

Brian O'Keeffe

Mark Olivier

Stephen Orr

Bartosz Ostenda

Enrico Ottavian

Hiroshi Ozawa

Matthew Papas

Muir Paterson

Cyrille Perard

Chris Perez

Amit Pilowsky

Nick Pomponi

Brandon Press

Ken Prince

Elizabeth Pritchard

Grant Purtell

Don Raab

Radovan Radman

Mohan Rajagopal

Neema Raphael

Michael Rendel

Osmin Rivera

Ludovic Rodhain

Javier Rodriguez-Alarcon

Cosmo Roe

Andrew Rosivach

Jennifer Roth

Armin Rothauser

Jonathan Rousse

John Ryan

Yassaman Salas

Tom Scarpati

Joao Schmidt

Rachel Schnoll

Marc Schreiber

Bruce Schwartz

Lyle Schwartz

Anshul Sehgal

John Semczuk

Hideyuki Seo

Jonathan Shapiro

Johann Shudlick

Andrew Silverman

Brian Singer

Jeremie Sokolowsky

Simone Song

William Stamatakis

Jari Stehn

Jeremy Stent

Alan Stewart

Daniel Strack

Alexandra Stubbings

Masato Sunaga

Takaaki Suzuki

Chia Min Tan

Robert Tau

Sujay Telang

Baris Temelkuran

Rene Theriault

Bart Thomson

Cassandra Tok

Alex Tomas

Karen Trapani

Kamakshya Trivedi

Emma Tsui

Ervin Tu

John Tully

Thomas Turner

Michael Ungari

Krishnamurthy Vaidyanathan

Anilu Vazquez-Ubarri

Sofie Wacha

Scott Walter

Bryce Wan

James Wang

Kent Wasson

Michael Watts

Stephen Waxman

Connie Wen

Colin White

Kyle Williams

Stephen Withnell

Audrey Woon

Chiharu Yamagami

Suzzanne Yao

Rana Yared

Bervan Yeh

Tony Yip

Emi Yoshibe

Vladimir Zakharov

 


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Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:26 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

muppet fuckers all

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:31 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

We finally made it!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:40 | Link to Comment BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

RAH RAH RAH... Get Out There My Little Bitchies And Rip Their Shirts Off ...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:41 | Link to Comment Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Maazel tov, GOY BITCHEZ!!!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:44 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Congratulations, new Managing Directors of Goldman Sachs!

New send me some money!  Bitcoin OK...

***

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"Fun with Bitcoin for Beginners"

http://tinyurl.com/lh7kt5y

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:53 | Link to Comment Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"Goldman Congratulates Its 280 Newly Promoted Managing Directors"

"We're going to need a bigger boat"

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 16:20 | Link to Comment Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

You 280 members have managed to rape and pillage enough muppets to make managing directors.  A few more years of this and you might make junior partners and thats when the really really really big bucks start rolling in

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:32 | Link to Comment smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

so , whats that 2800 more feet of rope...going to ebay

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 17:25 | Link to Comment TeMpTeK
TeMpTeK's picture

280 of the finest Muppeteers money can buy..

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment WOAR
WOAR's picture

Nah, we'll just re-use the rope.

Bankers need to learn how to stand in line. They missed out during the Great Depression...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:13 | Link to Comment aardwolf
aardwolf's picture

DECORATE THE LAMP POSTS WITH THESE EVIL MOFOS

 

THEIR GOD IS MAMMON AND THEY WILL PAY HIM IN THE END

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

J. T. Marlin just faxed over their congratulations, it said "Welcome to the club"

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:28 | Link to Comment One And Only
One And Only's picture

Dafuq is with some of those names? Thought I was reading the credits for a Harry Potter movie.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:53 | Link to Comment firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Lately the Jewish turnout on GS partner list has been shrinking year after year. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:12 | Link to Comment Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

We're on vacation.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:26 | Link to Comment Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Thanks for publishing 'their' list - now we can add them to 'our' list.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:00 | Link to Comment Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

I hope Beat Cabiallavetta lives up to the aspirations of his dead brother Marc.
Their father is Mathis Cabiallavetta, former UBS chairman, and after failing terribly, went on to become years later, director of philip morris, black rock etc.
talking about self made man...., hardly any of them walking among us men.
Add on: There are many more on that list with HNWI family ties.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:26 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

What?  No address information for the angry mobs?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:33 | Link to Comment Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Cell numbers bro. Ping the target.

Over.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:28 | Link to Comment jim249
jim249's picture

Reading those names, I can see why employment for white males is declining.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:39 | Link to Comment King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

White males have been pussified and turned into a bunch of whiners and are harmonal like they are mensurating pernnially. Either this or most of them have turned gay and are knitting their next winter jackets.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:43 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:45 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is?

Narrator: It's a comforter...

Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?

Narrator: ...Consumers?

Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:47 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

Narrator: Martha Stewart.

Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:55 | Link to Comment firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Narrator: Was it ticking?

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers?

Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...

[whispering]

Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

Narrator: I don't own...

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:46 | Link to Comment Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

"Turned" gay. Is that akin to "turning" Japanese?

As for your comment as to how white males have been pussified, it's true. I hear more whining and crying from white males than any other segment of our population. NEVER is it regarding truly important things. Invariably, it's about how their favorite sports team in whatever league or level was screwed, or how awful they're playing, or simply how sad it makes them feel that "their" team isn't winning.

And for knitting, I'm a gay white male who can't sew a button on a shirt, or stitch anything together, let alone knit. Use a hammer, a saw, or paint, or perform other "manly" duties - that I can do. Anything requiring a needle and dexterity - that I cannot do.

Some stereotypes are true, some are not.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:31 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

Mazel Tov!  Plus, however you say it in various Asian languages. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:46 | Link to Comment Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Mozer tof?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:55 | Link to Comment Dealer
Dealer's picture

ROR!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 17:54 | Link to Comment idontcare
idontcare's picture

Zhùhè nín for our Chinese MDs, Omedetogozaimasu for our Japanese MDs

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:34 | Link to Comment NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

That they do this on Twitter really shows their hubris...

It's like "Hey all you proles, look at how awesome we're doing!  Suck on it!"

Then again I assume most of the Twitter proles are following a Kardashian as opposed to GS...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:35 | Link to Comment maskone909
maskone909's picture

you guys wouldnt happen to have their address's too would you?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:02 | Link to Comment optimator
optimator's picture

Longkilant, and its going to get more and more crowded with gated off mc mansions and at this rate they'll have to put up a wall and require special access just to enter Longiiiland.  And then as the families grow and intermarry.....hopefully JFK will fall on their side of the wall.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:35 | Link to Comment SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Congratulations, here is the roof, now jump fuckers!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:40 | Link to Comment larz
larz's picture

The list of future politicians (theivin douches) and central bankers (just douches)

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:44 | Link to Comment El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

F U x 280

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:49 | Link to Comment 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

qualifications: stealing over $100,000,000 from muppets, draining your own parents' retirment accounts and nailing your wife's sister (or husband's brother if you're female).

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:52 | Link to Comment Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Hmmm ...

A Yip, a Yea, a Yao, and a Wang.  

And two Schwartz's, a Shapiro, a Shudlick, a Silverman, and a Sokolowsky.

A Ding, but no Dong.  A Doctor and a Gurney but no Nurse, and a Singer and a Song.

And even a Kramer as well. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:58 | Link to Comment Black Warrior W...
Black Warrior Waterdog's picture

You're a regular Rudyard Kipling.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:02 | Link to Comment Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Obtuse, you are.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:17 | Link to Comment NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re: A Yip, a Yea, a Yao, and a Wang.  

Some thing wrong with that, Ho Lee Fuk didn't make the cut. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:21 | Link to Comment Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

"And even a Kramer as well."

 Giddyup!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 13:52 | Link to Comment tvdog
tvdog's picture

Imagine how much the stockholders would receive in dividends if that company wasn't paying multi-millions to so many "executives." Imagine how much profit there is in fraud and manipulation. Imagine what the economy would look like were it not being looted in this way ...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:01 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

Destined for Nuremberg.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:19 | Link to Comment Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

You are expecting trials?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:05 | Link to Comment optimator
optimator's picture

Cheeze, they got more managing directors than they have janitors!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:10 | Link to Comment Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Anyone have an org chart for the Squid ?  Showing just where the MD's are within ???  

And how many employees report to them for direction?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:12 | Link to Comment Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

Inks! Minks! The old witch winks, that fat beings to fry! No body home but Jumping Joan, father, mother and I! Sticks! Stocks! Stone Dead! Blind men can't see! Every knave will have a slave, you or I must be he!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:29 | Link to Comment Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Hostess Judy ???

Is it really you ?

just where the fuck did you find that quote?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 15:10 | Link to Comment Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

Hehehe, it's a quote I memorized as a kid watching Aeon Flux cartoons. I forgot exactly what episode, though, but it is a show that has a ton of really mind-blowing high brow concepts, and quotes.

 

I particularly like the last line, I feel that it frequently applies to the current economic conditions.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:14 | Link to Comment NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Man, that's allot of managers to direct things.  

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:22 | Link to Comment Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

So how much does a Managing Director make there?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:29 | Link to Comment NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  So how much does a Managing Director make there?

It's based upon how much blood is sucked by the sucking-device they are managing. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:35 | Link to Comment Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Base salary of $500,000 (only) and of course the Bonus. This is lower than the base of $900,000 for Partners.  Annual of several Million$ apiece.

And what do they produce ???

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 15:52 | Link to Comment Urmakarn
Urmakarn's picture

A distorted market and bailouts? 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:24 | Link to Comment Randoom Thought
Randoom Thought's picture

Next ZH will be publishing the list of Goldman summer interns and what is for lunch in Goldman's cafeteria ... ohhh, please ... try to keep the illusion alive.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:34 | Link to Comment JR
JR's picture

The bankers may know how to sell rugs but their days of billions in free Fed largesse and company bonuses may not be able to continue much longer.

Politics may be going to sweep away Goldman's typical base salary of $500,000 for its managing directors (“lower than the $900,000 granted to partners" says Bloomberg) while bonuses for both "can boost their total compensation into the millions of dollars.”

The negative view of banking has increased five times among Democrats. And that’s bad news for Goldman’s choice for America’s next president, Hillary Clinton, who is totally tied to Wall Street and the banks. “There’s no one more greedy and obsessed with money than a socialist ideologue,” writes Thomas DiLorenzo,

And, asks DiLorenzo,  “Is there a more money-grubbing woman anywhere in America?” noting that  Goldman just paid $400,000 to Hillary for two speeches.

So what’s the trouble?

Andy Kroll of Mother Jones sums up the possible impact of an angry and disillusioned Democratic base in 2016: “Gallup finds that the percentage of Democrats with ‘very negative’ views of the banking industry increased more than fivefold since 2007, while the percentage who have positive views fell from 51 to 31. Between 2001 and 2011, the percentage of Democrats who were dissatisfied with the 'size and influence of major corporations’ rose from 51 to a remarkable 79.3.”

Kroll continues:

“Noam Scheiber writes in the new cover story for the New Republic magazine. Clinton is anything but inevitable (remember 2008?), he argues, and in fact there is a Democratic challenger who poses a grave threat to Hillary's presidential aspirations, an 'insurgent' who captures the party's growing populism and anti-Wall Street fervor better than any other Dem in the party: Senator Elizabeth Warren.

“The delightfully bizarre cover of the new TNR dubs Warren ‘Hillary's Nightmare,’ and Scheiber makes a damn convincing case for why Warren, far more than Clinton, is the candidate most attuned to an angry and disillusioned Democratic base in 2013 (and, presumably, 2016). Scheiber cites poll after poll revealing a Democratic Party—in the Beltway and beyond it—moving closer to Warren's populist worldview.”

That’s banking, i.e., Goldman, that the people are hitting. Anyone remember Romney?

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/11/hillary-clinton-elizabeth-warren-2016-presidential-race

http://www.lewrockwell.com/lrc-blog/goldman-sachs-has-chosen-our-next-president/

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-07/goldman-sachs-to-name-new-managing-directors-every-two-years.html

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:35 | Link to Comment grunk
grunk's picture

As for the rest of you who didn't make the cut, security will escort you out of the building.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:38 | Link to Comment venturen
venturen's picture

Does it take that many people to feed the money printer?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 14:56 | Link to Comment yogibear
yogibear's picture

More Goldman solders to lie, cheat and steal. For the sake of Goldman's god (One with the horns and the name of Satan).

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

A new crop of thieves to carry on God's Work. Praise the Lord.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 15:10 | Link to Comment pitz
pitz's picture

No point in doing valuable work for peanuts when these value-less people are going to be paid huge sums of money to do little other than damage the economy and flip paper. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 17:29 | Link to Comment sleepingbeauty
sleepingbeauty's picture

Adam Crook. 

 

=Truth in advertising. 

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