How JPMorgan's Latest PR Stunt Blew Up In Its Face

Tyler Durden's picture

Update: In a shocking turn of events, the FT reports that JPM just canceled the #AskJPM event. The bank said: "#That idea back to the drawing board."

Today, in what is a clear attempt at faux transparency and social media openness, JPM tweeted the following:

Unfortunately for the criminal organization (because after all JPM did admit to violating securities laws), the outcome was not quite as planned... To wit:


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fightthepower's picture

Who owns the Federal Reserve?

Cdad's picture

Indeed.  Answer that question...and the sound of shattering allusions is deafening.  

ZerOhead's picture

We used to know who owned it when it was created back in 1913.

Other than that we don't know and they aren't saying... so I'm sure everything is on the up & up...

AllThatGlitters's picture

The fact that JPM tried to do this demonstrates how clearly out of touch they really are. Living in a bubble, oblivious to the fact that lots of people are onto them.

Perhaps that means that when the SHTF, they won't have escaped to an island somewhere, and will be just as oblivious as the torches and pitchfork crowd approaches their door. One could only hope.

Skateboarder's picture

JPM put a 'kick me' sign on its own back... and people are a kickin'. Good stuff.

It's quite amazing how disconnected from reality they are.

SilverIsKing's picture

How does a trading desk make money 100 out of 100 straight days?

Patriot Eke's picture

Andrew Jackson: Face or gut, #AskJPM ?

nope-1004's picture

You mean, I can't ask Lee why when Dimon was infront of congress, he wasn't sworn under oath?  Yet a baseball pitcher Roger Clemens was reminded before almost every question that "he was under oath" when grilled about steroids, of all things?

Fuck you Dimon, you piece of SHIT!!  Fuck you Lee.  EAT dog barf Blythe, you stunk pig.

The whole lot of these selfish, greedy, white collar criminals need to burn in hell.

You bastards will get it one day.

DaveyJones's picture

I thought stealing was the national past time 

MiguelitoRaton's picture

As a new hire, do I have to sell my soul to the devil BEFORE I start or is that handled in new hire orientation?

johnQpublic's picture

because of this, i will buy one share of twitter

BoNeSxxx's picture

Damn!  Our own Banzai is on fire!

Props WB!

I almost want to sign up with Twitter just to join in on the fun.  Almost.

Meat Hammer's picture

I set up a fake account with a fake email address I just created.  I'm having a blast.

daemon's picture

" ... and will be just as oblivious as the torches and pitchfork crowd approaches their door."

Maybe, they will be oblivious simply because DHS will be there to take care of that "terrorist" torches and pitchfork crowd, just to ensure that "God's workers" can go on doing business .

The Gooch's picture

What's the diameter of your neck, Jimmy?

Gotta center that monogram.


daemon's picture



Know, (cough, cough), peasant,.... that my precious neck is not yours to touch .

I am one of those that do God's work, like his Holiness Jamie dimon and, his Holiness too, of course, Lloyd Blankfein .

As for you, scoundrel, you will finish the rest of your miserable life in a galley (one of our future human propelled carrier vessel, to be more precise).

Things that go bump's picture

Some are going to get away, but many of them will misread the signals and figure they have time for one more con or find that they really weren't as elite as they thought and find themselves simply left behind, caught when the pitchforks and rope comes out. It reminds me of the picture in the Kos of the Wall Street executives standing on a balcony drinking champagne and mocking the Occupy Wall Street crowd. That was a "let them eat cake," moment. They were laughing and taking pictures.

Yes_Questions's picture




Yeah, seems a "Its Not So Fucking Funny Now Is It Fucker?!?!??!?" moment is ripe!!


Holy Crap this went really well.


For morale of those in the know that is...

JohnnyBriefcase's picture

This is possibly my favorite thing ever.

Sequitur's picture

WilliamBanzai lit that shit UP.

Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Third comment down:

Asking the board of inquiries to lookie here:

2 pics worth a thousand words.


Rusty Shorts's picture

LMAO, Cheers WB7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exponere Mendaces's picture

This reminds me of that scene in Fight Club, with his boss "underneath everything this man took for granted, something horrible had been growing."

I bet they're astounded at how many satirical pictures there are of them - nice work Banzai!

Larry Dallas's picture

I'd hate to be the Marketing Firm or Marketing Officer as that person should never be allowed to have a job again. I'm not sticking up for JPM at all, but who ever thought of this should just die. Yesterday.

SilverRhino's picture

Dani Hughes @divinedani 1m

": Quick! You're locked in a room with no key, a chair, two paper clips, and a lightbulb. How do you defraud investors?

DaveyJones's picture

that was one of my favorites

it's amazing how evil can bring out the best in our comic sarcasm

buckethead's picture

"I have Mortgage Fraud, Market Manipulation, Credit Card Abuse, Libor Rigging and Predatory Lending AM I DIVERSIFIED?"


Karl von Bahnhof's picture

JPM OrganChase (TM)

Your kidney will be nice collateral.

BanksterSlayer's picture

[sigh] ... so now they've canceled the event what are we gonna do tomorrow at 1PM ................?



sgt_doom's picture

While this may appear off-topic, it really is appropriate to this discussion:

50 Years Ago: The Kennedy Assassination Revisited


During the last few years, there has been a veritable deluge of books filled with misinformation and disinformation on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.


Highly unusual is that these money-losing books, from money-losing publishing companies (the majority of them), have a peculiar origin: most of those publishers are owned by a small group of hedge funds, seemingly always involved with ONLY profitable ventures?


More than one person has inquired as to why the JFK murder should matter to us today.


A pithy and pointed response might be: Vietnam War, oil shocks of the 1970s, Iranian hostage situation, NAFTA, GATT, WTO (and China's entrance into that organization, thereof), 9/11, and the recent global economic meltdown.


So, to keep it as short and sweet as possible, let's examine the final actions of the last two US presidents to die in office, FDR and JFK.


It is so very simple to understand the individuals who gave the kill orders that day by examining the tax returns of Allen Dulles and John McCloy (without even researching John McCloy's illustrious career, from his time as an attorney for I.G. Farben in Nazi Germany (pre-WWII) and later as chairman of David Rockefeller's Chase Manhattan Bank).


David Rockefeller and his brother Nelson, owned the Warren Commission just as most certainly they owned Dulles and McCloy.


Case closed.


[And the last thing FDR did before he died in office was to give the go ahead to the DOJ to file a lawsuit against the 17 bankers of Wall Street, alleging a criminal conspiracy in corporate ownership, by the banks, dating back to 1915.]


The last action JFK took before he died in office was to support and give the go ahead to Rep. Wright Patman in his congressional investigation into the super-rich (the banksters) hiding their ownership and wealth in foundations and trusts. Note the similarity of actions: hitting the super-rich at their most vulnerable point, where they hide their ownership and wealth!


[Rep. Patman's precursor study was: Tax Exempt Foundations and Charitable Trusts: Their Impact on Our Economy (December 1962) 87th Congress, 2nd Session]


Associated links:


(You might be suspicious of the link below, but all the data has been verified, and you can easily verify it yourself.)


(Information from the above site.)


Congressman Wright Patman, chairman of the House Banking and Currency Committee, proved in 1967 Hearings that 14 Rockefeller foundations held assets of more than $1 billion in Standard Oil stock. Not only did they pay no tax on this stock, but it gave them permanent control over the family owned firm. Rival financiers could not buy control of Standard Oil because its stock was insulated by foundation ownership. As Patman pointed out, the fact that the Rockefellers escaped paying huge sums in taxes gave them an unsurpassed market advantage over other firms which had to pay normal rates of taxation.


The agitation for increased "corporate taxation" adds to Rockefeller's advantage. Patman said, "The Foundations are the best investments the Rockefeller family could have made."


A family member, Senator Nelson Aldrich, shepherded the General Education Board charter through Congress. The Rockefeller Foundation charter proved more difficult. It was a flagrant effort to evade government decrees against the Standard Oil monopoly, but was finally pushed through in 1913 by Sen. Robert F. Wagner of N.Y., setting aside $50 million in Standard Oil of New Jersey stock for "charitable work". The Rockefeller Foundation charter was signed on May 22, 1913. Its incorporators were:


• John D. Rockefeller


• John D.Rockefeller Jr.


• Henry Pratt Judson, of the Lyman and Pratt families, president of University of Chicago


• Simon Flexner, educated at Universitv of Berlin and Univ. of Strasbourg, had served with Rockefeller Institute since 1903 as prof. of medicine


• Starr Jameson, "personal counsel to John D. Rockefeller in his benevolences"


• Jerome D. Greene, secretary of Harvard Corp. 1910-11, banker with Lee Higginson of London, 1912-18, sec. Reparations commission at Paris Peace Conference


• Wickliffe Rose, prof. Peabody College, secretary Peabody Educational Fund, trustee of Slater Fund and General Education Board


• Charles W. Eliot, also of the Lyman family, married Ellen Peabody, educated in Germany, president emeritus of Harvard


An offshoot, the China Medical Board, secured Standard Oil the market for "oil for the lamps of China", and gave the family entree into the highly profitable Asiatic drug trade. The breakthrough was obtained after they financed the rise to power of the Soong family, who created modern China.


The list of officers of the Rockefeller Foundation from 1913-63 reveals a great deal about this organization. The four chairmen of the board have been John D. Rockefeller. Jr. 1917-39; Walter D. Stewart, 1939-50; John Foster Dulles, 1950-52; and John D. Rockefeller 3rd, 1952-63.


Walter D. Stewart served with Bernard Baruch on the War Industries Board in 1918, was with the Federal Reserve Board from 1922-25, and then joined the law firm of Case, Pomery, a Rockefeller firm. He was economic adviser to the Bank of England 1928-30, Special Adviser to Bank for International Settlements 1931, Presidential Council of Economic Advisors for Eisenhower 1953-56, and later president of the Institute for Advanced Study. In this list of legal and financial posts, one is struck by the conspicuous absence of any "charitable" endeavours.


John Foster Dulles, as senior partner of the law firm of Sullivan and Cromwell, carried on the firm's traditional involvement in promoting wars and revolutions. Few Americans know that Sullivan & Cromwell's intrigues made the Panama Canal possible.


A 736 page volume, "The Story of Panama, the U.S. House Hearings on Panama in 1913," offers hundreds of pages of documentation proving that William Nelson Cromwell, founder of the firm, and Dulles' mentor, instigated and promoted the Panamanian Revolution for J.P. Morgan and J. & W. Seligman. Morgan subsequently received $40 million in gold from the U.S. Treasury, the largest check it had ever drawn to that time. $35 million of this sum was clear profit.

Clycntct's picture

 Ohhhhh Budddy I needed that. Smack.

Great stuff that I keep? letting it slip away. You bring it back to the front.

decon's picture

What about the Executive Order Kennedy was about to issue abolishing the Federal Reserve? That was the nail in his coffin.

sgt_doom's picture

Who owns JPMorgan Chase?




Morgan Stanley?


Bank of America?

AXA Holdings?



Cross-stock ownershio, you say?

That is illegal in America!

But who or whom is the majority holder of those stocks?

We do know that the Rockefeller family was the majority stake holder, originally, in Apple and Intel and JPMC and AT&T and . . . .

BanksterSlayer's picture

Well from Karen Hudes we know that the Jeuits own CitiBank who acquired that after selling their shares of Bank of America (originally known as Bank of Italy) ... my guess is they own JPM too.

Whoa Dammit's picture

OT:  CryptoLocker, a new ransomware--Looks like someone is trying to give BitCoin a real bad name. Gee, I wonder who???

"The CryptoLocker popup directs you to what's called a virtual currency website, in this case one called BitCoin, where users pay real money for virtual money. The hackers can then anonymously access that virtual money and use it online just like the real thing."


Deathrips's picture silver money?


Trick question you paper sucking fucks, of course it is..the paper note is the promise that you have some.


Have any physical?






Go Bonzai!!

Fuck Jaime & Blythe ...and peers.



Cdad's picture

It would appear that the natives are getting a bit restless...with the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street.

fonzannoon's picture

THis just made me happy. Tremendous tweets.

NotApplicable's picture

There's so many of them, though!

Whar's a good Twitter filter when you need one?

NoDebt's picture

I sure hope Redpill was in there, banging away on them.  His work on the Fed Q&A earlier this year was almost artwork.  I don't think they tried another one of them since.

"When you destroyed Alderaan did you call it a foreclosure or just a few bad apples?"

"I have mortgage fraud, market manipulation, credit card abuse, libor rigging and predatory lending.  AM I DIVERISFIED?"


fonzannoon's picture

This shows how much kerosine is out there. Someone just has to light a match.

Meat Hammer's picture

Maybe this is a trial balloon to see how close to being lamppost ornaments they really are.  

KnightTakesKing's picture

Don't think so, Meat. There is always a moral blindness in the elites that prevent them from seeing themselves as we see those evil fuckers. 

Cdad's picture much silver that you don't have...have you sold this year?