This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

How JPMorgan's Latest PR Stunt Blew Up In Its Face

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Update: In a shocking turn of events, the FT reports that JPM just canceled the #AskJPM event. The bank said: "#That idea back to the drawing board."

Today, in what is a clear attempt at faux transparency and social media openness, JPM tweeted the following:

Unfortunately for the criminal organization (because after all JPM did admit to violating securities laws), the outcome was not quite as planned... To wit:


   

 


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:08 | Link to Comment fightthepower
fightthepower's picture

Who owns the Federal Reserve?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:09 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

Indeed.  Answer that question...and the sound of shattering allusions is deafening.  

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:27 | Link to Comment ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

We used to know who owned it when it was created back in 1913.

Other than that we don't know and they aren't saying... so I'm sure everything is on the up & up...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:42 | Link to Comment AllThatGlitters
AllThatGlitters's picture

The fact that JPM tried to do this demonstrates how clearly out of touch they really are. Living in a bubble, oblivious to the fact that lots of people are onto them.

Perhaps that means that when the SHTF, they won't have escaped to an island somewhere, and will be just as oblivious as the torches and pitchfork crowd approaches their door. One could only hope.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:51 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

JPM put a 'kick me' sign on its own back... and people are a kickin'. Good stuff.

It's quite amazing how disconnected from reality they are.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:19 | Link to Comment SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

How does a trading desk make money 100 out of 100 straight days?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:53 | Link to Comment Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

Andrew Jackson: Face or gut, #AskJPM ?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:29 | Link to Comment nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

You mean, I can't ask Lee why when Dimon was infront of congress, he wasn't sworn under oath?  Yet a baseball pitcher Roger Clemens was reminded before almost every question that "he was under oath" when grilled about steroids, of all things?

Fuck you Dimon, you piece of SHIT!!  Fuck you Lee.  EAT dog barf Blythe, you stunk pig.

The whole lot of these selfish, greedy, white collar criminals need to burn in hell.

You bastards will get it one day.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:35 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I thought stealing was the national past time 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:15 | Link to Comment MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

As a new hire, do I have to sell my soul to the devil BEFORE I start or is that handled in new hire orientation?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:00 | Link to Comment johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

because of this, i will buy one share of twitter

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:57 | Link to Comment BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

Damn!  Our own Banzai is on fire!

Props WB!

I almost want to sign up with Twitter just to join in on the fun.  Almost.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:13 | Link to Comment Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

I set up a fake account with a fake email address I just created.  I'm having a blast.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:40 | Link to Comment DYS
DYS's picture

Why use a fake account??

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 23:00 | Link to Comment Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Pure paranoia

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:27 | Link to Comment daemon
daemon's picture

" ... and will be just as oblivious as the torches and pitchfork crowd approaches their door."

Maybe, they will be oblivious simply because DHS will be there to take care of that "terrorist" torches and pitchfork crowd, just to ensure that "God's workers" can go on doing business .

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:34 | Link to Comment The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

What's the diameter of your neck, Jimmy?

Gotta center that monogram.

 

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 07:14 | Link to Comment daemon
daemon's picture

 

 

Know, (cough, cough), peasant,.... that my precious neck is not yours to touch .

I am one of those that do God's work, like his Holiness Jamie dimon and, his Holiness too, of course, Lloyd Blankfein .

As for you, scoundrel, you will finish the rest of your miserable life in a galley (one of our future human propelled carrier vessel, to be more precise).

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:06 | Link to Comment IllusionOfChoice
IllusionOfChoice's picture

You didn't make that noose.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:14 | Link to Comment Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Great avatar!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:10 | Link to Comment Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Some are going to get away, but many of them will misread the signals and figure they have time for one more con or find that they really weren't as elite as they thought and find themselves simply left behind, caught when the pitchforks and rope comes out. It reminds me of the picture in the Kos of the Wall Street executives standing on a balcony drinking champagne and mocking the Occupy Wall Street crowd. That was a "let them eat cake," moment. They were laughing and taking pictures.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:42 | Link to Comment Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

 

Yeah, seems a "Its Not So Fucking Funny Now Is It Fucker?!?!??!?" moment is ripe!!

 

Holy Crap this went really well.

 

For morale of those in the know that is...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:42 | Link to Comment JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

This is possibly my favorite thing ever.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:46 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

The ruling elite owns the Fed, The A students, the dry powder A students who are now entitled to anything because, you didn't build that and we take credit for everything positive. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:01 | Link to Comment Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

WilliamBanzai lit that shit UP.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:32 | Link to Comment Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Third comment down:
http://postimg.org/image/63tpi6tcn/

Asking the board of inquiries to lookie here:
https://secure.flickr.com/photos/expd/8715278152/

2 pics worth a thousand words.

Over.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:01 | Link to Comment Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

LMAO, Cheers WB7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 01:19 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

JAMIE DIMON'S NEW BOOK

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:04 | Link to Comment Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

This reminds me of that scene in Fight Club, with his boss "underneath everything this man took for granted, something horrible had been growing."

I bet they're astounded at how many satirical pictures there are of them - nice work Banzai!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:32 | Link to Comment Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

I'd hate to be the Marketing Firm or Marketing Officer as that person should never be allowed to have a job again. I'm not sticking up for JPM at all, but who ever thought of this should just die. Yesterday.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:46 | Link to Comment SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Dani Hughes @divinedani 1m

": Quick! You're locked in a room with no key, a chair, two paper clips, and a lightbulb. How do you defraud investors?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:46 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

that was one of my favorites

it's amazing how evil can bring out the best in our comic sarcasm

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:25 | Link to Comment buckethead
buckethead's picture

"I have Mortgage Fraud, Market Manipulation, Credit Card Abuse, Libor Rigging and Predatory Lending AM I DIVERSIFIED?"

 

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

JPM OrganChase (TM)

Your kidney will be nice collateral.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:57 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

[sigh] ... so now they've canceled the event what are we gonna do tomorrow at 1PM ................?

 

TOGA PARTY!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:36 | Link to Comment sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

While this may appear off-topic, it really is appropriate to this discussion:

50 Years Ago: The Kennedy Assassination Revisited

 

During the last few years, there has been a veritable deluge of books filled with misinformation and disinformation on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

 

Highly unusual is that these money-losing books, from money-losing publishing companies (the majority of them), have a peculiar origin: most of those publishers are owned by a small group of hedge funds, seemingly always involved with ONLY profitable ventures?

 

More than one person has inquired as to why the JFK murder should matter to us today.

 

A pithy and pointed response might be: Vietnam War, oil shocks of the 1970s, Iranian hostage situation, NAFTA, GATT, WTO (and China's entrance into that organization, thereof), 9/11, and the recent global economic meltdown.

 

So, to keep it as short and sweet as possible, let's examine the final actions of the last two US presidents to die in office, FDR and JFK.

 

It is so very simple to understand the individuals who gave the kill orders that day by examining the tax returns of Allen Dulles and John McCloy (without even researching John McCloy's illustrious career, from his time as an attorney for I.G. Farben in Nazi Germany (pre-WWII) and later as chairman of David Rockefeller's Chase Manhattan Bank).

 

David Rockefeller and his brother Nelson, owned the Warren Commission just as most certainly they owned Dulles and McCloy.

 

Case closed.

 

[And the last thing FDR did before he died in office was to give the go ahead to the DOJ to file a lawsuit against the 17 bankers of Wall Street, alleging a criminal conspiracy in corporate ownership, by the banks, dating back to 1915.]

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Morgan_et_al.

 

The last action JFK took before he died in office was to support and give the go ahead to Rep. Wright Patman in his congressional investigation into the super-rich (the banksters) hiding their ownership and wealth in foundations and trusts. Note the similarity of actions: hitting the super-rich at their most vulnerable point, where they hide their ownership and wealth!

 

[Rep. Patman's precursor study was: Tax Exempt Foundations and Charitable Trusts: Their Impact on Our Economy (December 1962) 87th Congress, 2nd Session]

 

Associated links:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Investment_Bankers_Case

 

(You might be suspicious of the link below, but all the data has been verified, and you can easily verify it yourself.)

 

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/world_order/WorldCh07-1.htm

 

(Information from the above site.)

 

Congressman Wright Patman, chairman of the House Banking and Currency Committee, proved in 1967 Hearings that 14 Rockefeller foundations held assets of more than $1 billion in Standard Oil stock. Not only did they pay no tax on this stock, but it gave them permanent control over the family owned firm. Rival financiers could not buy control of Standard Oil because its stock was insulated by foundation ownership. As Patman pointed out, the fact that the Rockefellers escaped paying huge sums in taxes gave them an unsurpassed market advantage over other firms which had to pay normal rates of taxation.

 

The agitation for increased "corporate taxation" adds to Rockefeller's advantage. Patman said, "The Foundations are the best investments the Rockefeller family could have made."

 

A family member, Senator Nelson Aldrich, shepherded the General Education Board charter through Congress. The Rockefeller Foundation charter proved more difficult. It was a flagrant effort to evade government decrees against the Standard Oil monopoly, but was finally pushed through in 1913 by Sen. Robert F. Wagner of N.Y., setting aside $50 million in Standard Oil of New Jersey stock for "charitable work". The Rockefeller Foundation charter was signed on May 22, 1913. Its incorporators were:

 

• John D. Rockefeller

 

• John D.Rockefeller Jr.

 

• Henry Pratt Judson, of the Lyman and Pratt families, president of University of Chicago

 

• Simon Flexner, educated at Universitv of Berlin and Univ. of Strasbourg, had served with Rockefeller Institute since 1903 as prof. of medicine

 

• Starr Jameson, "personal counsel to John D. Rockefeller in his benevolences"

 

• Jerome D. Greene, secretary of Harvard Corp. 1910-11, banker with Lee Higginson of London, 1912-18, sec. Reparations commission at Paris Peace Conference

 

• Wickliffe Rose, prof. Peabody College, secretary Peabody Educational Fund, trustee of Slater Fund and General Education Board

 

• Charles W. Eliot, also of the Lyman family, married Ellen Peabody, educated in Germany, president emeritus of Harvard

 

An offshoot, the China Medical Board, secured Standard Oil the market for "oil for the lamps of China", and gave the family entree into the highly profitable Asiatic drug trade. The breakthrough was obtained after they financed the rise to power of the Soong family, who created modern China.

 

The list of officers of the Rockefeller Foundation from 1913-63 reveals a great deal about this organization. The four chairmen of the board have been John D. Rockefeller. Jr. 1917-39; Walter D. Stewart, 1939-50; John Foster Dulles, 1950-52; and John D. Rockefeller 3rd, 1952-63.

 

Walter D. Stewart served with Bernard Baruch on the War Industries Board in 1918, was with the Federal Reserve Board from 1922-25, and then joined the law firm of Case, Pomery, a Rockefeller firm. He was economic adviser to the Bank of England 1928-30, Special Adviser to Bank for International Settlements 1931, Presidential Council of Economic Advisors for Eisenhower 1953-56, and later president of the Institute for Advanced Study. In this list of legal and financial posts, one is struck by the conspicuous absence of any "charitable" endeavours.

 

John Foster Dulles, as senior partner of the law firm of Sullivan and Cromwell, carried on the firm's traditional involvement in promoting wars and revolutions. Few Americans know that Sullivan & Cromwell's intrigues made the Panama Canal possible.

 

A 736 page volume, "The Story of Panama, the U.S. House Hearings on Panama in 1913," offers hundreds of pages of documentation proving that William Nelson Cromwell, founder of the firm, and Dulles' mentor, instigated and promoted the Panamanian Revolution for J.P. Morgan and J. & W. Seligman. Morgan subsequently received $40 million in gold from the U.S. Treasury, the largest check it had ever drawn to that time. $35 million of this sum was clear profit.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:09 | Link to Comment Clycntct
Clycntct's picture

 Ohhhhh Budddy I needed that. Smack.

Great stuff that I keep? letting it slip away. You bring it back to the front.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:22 | Link to Comment decon
decon's picture

What about the Executive Order Kennedy was about to issue abolishing the Federal Reserve? That was the nail in his coffin.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:43 | Link to Comment sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Who owns JPMorgan Chase?

AT&T?

ExxonMobil?

GE?

Morgan Stanley?

Citigroup?

Bank of America?

AXA Holdings?

Citigroup?

Monsanto?

Cross-stock ownershio, you say?

That is illegal in America!

But who or whom is the majority holder of those stocks?

We do know that the Rockefeller family was the majority stake holder, originally, in Apple and Intel and JPMC and AT&T and . . . .

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:54 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

Well from Karen Hudes we know that the Jeuits own CitiBank who acquired that after selling their shares of Bank of America (originally known as Bank of Italy) ... my guess is they own JPM too.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:42 | Link to Comment Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

OT:  CryptoLocker, a new ransomware--Looks like someone is trying to give BitCoin a real bad name. Gee, I wonder who???

"The CryptoLocker popup directs you to what's called a virtual currency website, in this case one called BitCoin, where users pay real money for virtual money. The hackers can then anonymously access that virtual money and use it online just like the real thing."

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/new-computer-virus-holds-encrypted-files-ransom/nbrWt/

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:28 | Link to Comment Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Soo...is silver money?

 

Trick question you paper sucking fucks, of course it is..the paper note is the promise that you have some.

 

Have any physical?

 

Dumbasses

 

RIPS

 

Go Bonzai!!

Fuck Jaime & Blythe ...and peers.

 

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:09 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

It would appear that the natives are getting a bit restless...with the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:12 | Link to Comment fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

THis just made me happy. Tremendous tweets.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:17 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

There's so many of them, though!

Whar's a good Twitter filter when you need one?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:43 | Link to Comment NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I sure hope Redpill was in there, banging away on them.  His work on the Fed Q&A earlier this year was almost artwork.  I don't think they tried another one of them since.

"When you destroyed Alderaan did you call it a foreclosure or just a few bad apples?"

"I have mortgage fraud, market manipulation, credit card abuse, libor rigging and predatory lending.  AM I DIVERISFIED?"

Classic.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:52 | Link to Comment fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

This shows how much kerosine is out there. Someone just has to light a match.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:29 | Link to Comment Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Maybe this is a trial balloon to see how close to being lamppost ornaments they really are.  

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:41 | Link to Comment KnightTakesKing
KnightTakesKing's picture

Don't think so, Meat. There is always a moral blindness in the elites that prevent them from seeing themselves as we see those evil fuckers. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 23:10 | Link to Comment Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Heavy sigh...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:12 | Link to Comment Cdad
Cdad's picture

#ASKJPM...how much silver that you don't have...have you sold this year?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:15 | Link to Comment Rand Mises Hayek
Rand Mises Hayek's picture

When is the next Jamie Dimon pep rally? You know when he does the bus tour and everybody screams and applauds like a Pearl Jam concert. I just love those - he is soooo dreamy !!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:13 | Link to Comment Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

#AskJPM: Given Ms. Masters' expertise in the precious metals markets, does Jamie force her to call him Goldmember while she's under his desk blowing him? Does she use kneepads, or does she just rest on his brass balls?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:21 | Link to Comment Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

I think what we will see more and more of is the absolute and unmitigated cannibalism between the .gov and the .banks. Let the self destruction begin!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:26 | Link to Comment The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

LMFAO this is awesome...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:32 | Link to Comment Rainman
Rainman's picture

enjoy ....they'll never do this ' transparency thingy ' again. Backfired !

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:16 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I wouldn't expect to see one of dem classic HBS case studies on this lolololo.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:58 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

but to know how many pissed off people have a clue brings tears to my eyes

 

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 01:11 | Link to Comment Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

remember when we trolled Blythe Masters' blog?? That was some good times LOL

 

http://blythemasters.blogspot.com/

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:29 | Link to Comment geotrader
geotrader's picture

Does Jamie have more money than Blanky?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:30 | Link to Comment economessed
economessed's picture

OK, Twitter IS worth $31 billion if it serves as the primary conduit to expose the truth behind JPM's criminal enterprise.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:36 | Link to Comment disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

we got more IPO where that came from mister. Now get that Linked In profile up to date. We've got a "cram down provision" coming to a theater near you.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:31 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Fucking hilarious...

I couldn't resist taking a kick or two at the can...

@Flakmeister

My fave was this one from @OccupyPhoenix

Does Dimon leave the money on the dresser after he visits Congress? via

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

To which I replied

That was top shelf.... whether he gave tips to SAC

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 19:22 | Link to Comment zanez
zanez's picture

I outdid myself on that one. I think my best was "When you 'bang the close', do you like to pretend it's your Mother?"

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:35 | Link to Comment Being Free
Being Free's picture

I sure needed this laugh today.  Thanks Tylers!!!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:32 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

#AskJPM is rocketing up the charts....

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:36 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

@Flakmeister

I want to whether it was Jamie that taped the $2 bill to Bear Stearns bldg.and whether the trading desk was net short on the stock.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:38 | Link to Comment RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

What a bunch of stupid criminals masquerading as a company

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:10 | Link to Comment dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

#askDavidRockefeller

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:42 | Link to Comment WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

So what will Jimmy Lee's new position be? A promo or graburanklesnolube?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:47 | Link to Comment The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

fuck wish I had a twitter account...want to ask about the tunnel linking them to the fed and how long it takes to move physical gold from the fed vault to the jpm vault and vice versa (to prop up reserves)? is it like a whole weekend kind of thing....

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:06 | Link to Comment putaipan
putaipan's picture

but someone did ask about a similar tube in london .... didn't know about that one. good job everyone!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:47 | Link to Comment Ezeudu
Ezeudu's picture

I contributed a few to the cause -- maybe I'll write some more later. @Ezeudu

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:01 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Yep, I saw a good one from you...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:47 | Link to Comment fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Look how many other ZH'ers there are out there in spirit.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:48 | Link to Comment dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Blythe Masters: Landing Strip or Bald Eagle?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:28 | Link to Comment Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

really, REALLY, FUNNY!!!!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

Not_Jim_Cramer making a cameo tweet... Nice!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:18 | Link to Comment NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

WB7 also on the board.  Great picture- he should put it in here, too.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:49 | Link to Comment Boozer
Boozer's picture

Our guy Eric Hunsader from Nanex did as well. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment koncaswatch
koncaswatch's picture

My favorite: What's your favorite whale. Humpback, Rightwhale, Sperm... or London? LMFAO! I'm awestruck, what a thrashing.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

haven't tweeted in months. that was fun.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:55 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I don't always tweet, but when I do, it's while taking a sheet?

(clicking to see this incident was the first time I visited twitter)

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

man the questions are hilarious...a lot of sharp funny people out there that see the truth...kind of gives you hope (until that stupid bell rings at 9:30am tomorrow)

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:02 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

comedy is an amazing, powerful weapon

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:40 | Link to Comment Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

I'm not so sure it is people that trade at 930 am. The cyborgs at JPM, yes, but humans, no, I don't think so.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 22:40 | Link to Comment Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

I'm not so sure it is people that trade at 930 am. The cyborgs at JPM, yes, but humans, no, I don't think so.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:53 | Link to Comment lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Damn, nobody axed them "where's the Gold?"

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:45 | Link to Comment sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Hmmmm....believe the answer to that is to be found at N.M. Rothschild and Sons.....

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:24 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

oh I asked them about the gold! Followed by: when that vault goes empty, will you turn it into a skate park?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:09 | Link to Comment DadzMad
DadzMad's picture

I saw that.  Bankster Slayer killed a guy.  Did you throw a tweet?  Yeah, there were horses, a man on fire, and I killed a marketing guy's career with a tweet.

We're doing some Ron Burgandy shit on another post and it just came to me.......

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:54 | Link to Comment pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

after you're through with your customers, does it make a popping sound when you pull out?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:12 | Link to Comment Falling Down
Falling Down's picture

LMAO

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:54 | Link to Comment socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

More proof as if you needed any, that bankers just aren't that bright.  I mean who couldn't make profits if you can borrow at almost 0%? 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:55 | Link to Comment unununium
unununium's picture

Seeing that twitter feed is a thing of beauty.  Not exactly "my work is done here," but maybe take the afternoon off from trying to wake people up.

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:55 | Link to Comment Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

ROFL - Banzai7 strikes again.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:09 | Link to Comment DirkDiggler11
DirkDiggler11's picture

It was almost like he was waiting for this opportunity ! His shots scored direct hits !

Fucking Classic !

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:01 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

As I mentioned below, Banzai saw his chance at fame and totally blew thru that door in fine fashion.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:17 | Link to Comment Overfed
Overfed's picture

WB7 is kickin' ass and takin' names. This event was made for him.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:25 | Link to Comment buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

omg the michelangelo bernanke-yellen thing was too much. lolololololol

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:00 | Link to Comment SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Are all of these Tweets from ZH'ers...? LMAO! Thx Tyler! One of your best!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:00 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

Along with Banzai I saw Dr. Engali, there's probably others as well.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 18:59 | Link to Comment samsara
samsara's picture

Love Krieger's tweet.

 

Michael Krieger @LibertyBlitz

Which one provides a better return on equity:.

The Sinaloa cartel or Los Zetas?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:37 | Link to Comment resurger
resurger's picture

EPIC!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:03 | Link to Comment The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

Banzai7 representing!!! Good for you!!!!  what a fiasco..its like they hired the company that was in charge of the Obamacare website rollout to handle this q and a...

 

in private clubs all over New York GS execs are chestbumping and high fiving each other...

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 00:01 | Link to Comment pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

More likely they're getting quotes for moats around their McMansions

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:03 | Link to Comment SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

#AskJPM shutdown in 3, 2, 1....

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:19 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Hashtags do not shutdown  #takeitlikeaman

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:05 | Link to Comment ThorAss
ThorAss's picture

Great, a virtual protest .....

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:07 | Link to Comment kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Did anyone ask them about their guillotine preference? "Single or double blade?"

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:14 | Link to Comment Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I hear you can get them with 5 blades now...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:13 | Link to Comment The Burning Planet
The Burning Planet's picture

So we're there are we? The point in time when PR stunts no longer work. That's pre-apocalypse. Everything is suspended on a froth of bullshit. When the bullshit no longer floats the boats, you know you're close to the end. As Deets replied to the Captain when he said "I hope you're wrong." 

"Yes sir. But I'm not."

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:47 | Link to Comment sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

That point in time when the majority of Americans finally realize that they exist in a completely fraud-based society, and everything is rigged!

Yes, I believe so. . . .

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:13 | Link to Comment Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

This is fucking hilarious - a real-life version of the Simpson's episode where Mr Burns inadvertantly signs up for an interview on a shock radio show in an effort to improve his image.

 

Well JPM, at least now you know what everybody thinks of you - did you really think you were fooling anybody as you raped and pillaged the country?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:13 | Link to Comment lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

I hope Lloyd sees this.  he makes a lot public appearances with jamie, but you know, that there can't be 'co-heads'.  somebody needs to be running the planet.

Lloyd - man up!!  dammit.  do a public q&a.  i love calamari and squid.  with piquant sauce.

let's see what people really think about 'doing god's work'.  and - you have the means to do multiple languages, interpreters.  why not invite the greeks (by jove, did you fck them royally with cds and fx derivs).  and a few of the other countries you've taken down.

but - what the hey.  lloyd, i'm with you.  you didn't do anything illegal.  you're making a damn good buck, and how can you help it if somebody else is stupid and took the wrong credit/interest rate risk?  i mean, if they had any brains, they'd be partner track and working for you 14/7.

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:16 | Link to Comment WeTheSheeplez
WeTheSheeplez's picture

#AskJPM I need a $1million loan to start a new business building Guillotines can you help me?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:20 | Link to Comment Sufiy
Sufiy's picture

Have fun - Jon Stewart at his best!


Jon Stewart And Matt Taibbi: Banksters, Presstitutes And Why Nobody Should Shed a Tear for JP Morgan Chase


  Matt Taibbi continues his brilliant work as one of the last real investigative journalists left at his best. Jon Stewart is on par translating the situation for those who has difficulties with concentration and reading.    We will ask our rhetorical question again: after LIBOR fraud, FOREX manipulations, Mortgage scam and Pension looting - Is The Gold Manipulation To Be Admitted Next? http://sufiy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/jon-stewart-and-matt-taibbi-bankster...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:53 | Link to Comment Hey Assholes
Hey Assholes's picture

Jon "Stewart" (Jonathan Liebowitz) has an older brother, Larry Liebowitz - COO of the NY Stock Exchange.

 

Do the math.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:03 | Link to Comment RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Oldie but goodie:  Attack the messenger.

It's common knowledge that brothers agree all the time on every subject.

Were you looking in the mirror when you came up with that catchy user-name?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:34 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Yo... been a long time...

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 23:08 | Link to Comment toxic8
toxic8's picture

J. Stewart is an entertaining guy, but safely draws the line at just that, entertainment ... and fails the litmus test on any issue of REAL importance

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 00:35 | Link to Comment Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Let me guess, O'Reilly is a go-to-guy? 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:24 | Link to Comment Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Banzai was diplomatic too: he didn't post the infamous "Save the Whale"

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:35 | Link to Comment Overfed
Overfed's picture

Actually, he did. LOL!!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:38 | Link to Comment Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Hahahhaaa!!!  Excellent! 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 21:06 | Link to Comment DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

yes, fuck diplomacy

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:28 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

I was kind of hoping for Banzai's "Open Kimono" classic.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:25 | Link to Comment SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Guy Ventner @GuyVentner

Jamie is it more expensive to buy off a Regulator, Fed Offical or Senator?

Pure fucking awesomeness

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:26 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

JPM had to post this tweet, as a trial balloon , to see if they need to leave the country this weekend ....I think they have their answer. 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:40 | Link to Comment ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

They asked Jimmy Lee

What type of lawn grass would he be.

Had he thought long upon

He'd say the kind the dogs don't shiton.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:41 | Link to Comment The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

should ask..when the end comes, do you prefer a public spectacle like Mussolini went through...or something more low key like what Nicolae Ceauescu went through?

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:46 | Link to Comment Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Jamie doesn't always have sex, but when he does, he prefers donkeys....

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:23 | Link to Comment kurt
kurt's picture

Spunky

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:46 | Link to Comment venturen
venturen's picture

I have no time to make comments here...with the #ASKJPM commentfest!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:49 | Link to Comment Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

That twitter IPO might be on to something.

Its a great way for the masses of the population to direct hatred at the biggest assholes on the planet.

If that aint worth 40$ a share, I don't know what is.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:46 | Link to Comment SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

All I want for Christmas is #AskPOTUS.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:49 | Link to Comment orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Eat shit and die Vice Chairman Jimmy Lee.  Fucking cockroach.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:50 | Link to Comment Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

That image of the London Whale shooting dollars up in the air through its spout was a hoot.

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 19:58 | Link to Comment Blano
Blano's picture

OMFG LMAO.....Banzai just found his 15 minutes of fame and totally exploited it.  My hero!!!!!!

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:04 | Link to Comment Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

One them asked:  What will you do with the savings after firing your social media team?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:12 | Link to Comment WillyWonka
WillyWonka's picture

I signed up for a twitter account just to join the fun...thought I'd never do that...(#NoLuckMcFuc)

Gratz to Banzi!  His gifts will be felt in the halls of JPM's marketing team for quite sometime

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:13 | Link to Comment Whatta
Whatta's picture

#AskJPM

Can you ask Blythe for us how come silver and gold are being manipulated?

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:22 | Link to Comment Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

The only way.... that JP Morgan can have a discussion in a public way and look like a legitemate non criminal enterprise.... is if the entire discussion was staged and scripted.

 

The public knows.... that these guys are criminals.

They know that they committed fraud, that they continue to commit fraud.

They know that they are stealing peoples money and retirement funds.

They know that institutions like JP MORGAN are raising the cost of living for hundreds of millions of people globally, not just here in America.

They know that institutions like JP Morgan buy off politicians have laws changed to suite their needs.... our government is tailored like a fine suite to fit JP morgans obese ass.

They know that JP Morgan and institutions of the like are responsible for the meltdown in 2007~ 2009.

They know that millions of Americans are suffering hardships just so that pompous assholes can take out 100 million dollar bonuses.

 

The bankers are delusional, if they think they can ask the public for feedback and not get instantly flamed, too bad the law has not caught up with the sentiment of the masses yet, and who knows if it ever will chances are most of these rats will fly to their private island and retire when the law finally catches up with them.

 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:34 | Link to Comment Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

Yes... Hubris in full display, and they had not a clue.
Almost as frightening, neither did their marketing/media lackeys.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:15 | Link to Comment AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

So, if the military and the National Guard side with the revolutionaries (which I doubt, given the latest round of purges), how much should I charge the JPM and GS executives and their political friends to help them get started down here when they have to flee to Argentina, like the other fallen fascists before them?

Shame they took down the tweet.  Was going to tweet them an offer.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:19 | Link to Comment BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

To William Banzai7 and all my other twitter and ZeroHedge homies ... thank you, THANK YOU, for a LOVELY Wednesday afternoon. A job well done pummeling the #AskJPM hashtag. 

 

Twitter has now blocked me for "re-tweeting" too much.

<sniff ... I love you guys>

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 01:22 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Twitter obviously has the wrong political frame.

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:20 | Link to Comment CharliePrince
CharliePrince's picture

dear ask@jpmorgan

what criminals acts do you have planned for 2014,

 

can i front run them  ?        thx 

Wed, 11/13/2013 - 20:29 | Link to Comment Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Tomorrow we'll be tweeted the list of acceptable questions to choose from, and the session will be back on like Donkey Kong. But, good luck getting in line ahead of Maria Bartiromo.

Here's a sample of what to expect:

How much was 2012 GDP reduced by the Occupy Wall Street protests?

How can Blythe Masters be so honest and pure and successful at trading at the same time?

Was the London Whale incident a setup by the Iranians?

Did Jamie Dimon really turn down an opportunity to be Treasury Secretary and Pope on the same day?

........

 

 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!