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Relentless Twitter Mockery Forces JPM To Kill #AskJPM Q&A Session
One short tweet for a whale, one giant victory over organized financial crime.
Tomorrow's Q&A is cancelled. Bad Idea. Back to the drawing board.
— J.P. Morgan (@jpmorgan) November 14, 2013
... on the other hand, everyone can rest assured that JPM just bought CDS on everyone who mocked it. Oh wait... Oops
Wow. @zerohedge and @ReformedBroker are responsible for trending #AskJPM in America. I have spoken.
— Who Trended it ? (@WhoTrendedIT) November 14, 2013
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Ahahahahahahaha!
That was the absolute funniest stuff I have read in a long time.
#AskJPM was a total failure.
I'm still laughing.
One of my many favorites: "Hey JPM. What are you going to do with the money you save after firing your social media department?"
And a Hip, Hip, Hooray!!! to WilliamBanzai7 who was prodigious. And I saw some nice zingers from Dr. Engali too. Not to leave out many others here who probably put in some good ones too. Way to take it to the man, guys!
Yeah, lets see what asking our rape victims how they feel about us, turns out!
Dumb Fucks!
"How much does crime pay (to the nearest billion)?"
There was absolutely nothing I didn't like in that whole fiasco, except its cancellation. They shoulda gone through with it. It might have been the greatest event in Twitter history.
If not the greatest, maybe the funniest.
Stupid cunts think we dont know what they're up to and that we're just waiting with baited breath for their 'wisdom'. feel the h8red, fuckerz!! That's the last time they stick their head out of their electronic 'gated community'
And crime does pay, this is the clearest example. /sarc
Now the JPM Chase is a laughing stock, it was a failure for them and fun for us.
I don't think the government can bail them out of this one.
At least you fuckers aren't hanging from lamp posts...yet.
Haha... That's great!
Tonight's events just made the possibility of losing a turkey sandwich to Fonz worthwhile. Who is the genius in that organization who thought that fiasco could possibly be a good idea? My guess is they are cleaning their desk out right now.
Saw a few great one-liners from you in there. Nicely played!
Thanks. I was a little late to the party so I missed most of the fun. It looks like Banzai set the place on fire.
He sure did. We can only hope -- for his sake and the sake of all of us who want to see him succeed beyond his wildest dreams -- that he reached a broad audience. I would love to see some of his work on MSM!
Yeah so would I. I'm not going to hold my breath though when it comes to the MSM, they are not too fond of misfits like us.
Doc Nice job! I was out at dinner and have ben trying to look for your comments as well as WB7 on there an others. I hope ZH dedicates a post to all of your work so we can check it out. Sounds like you guys kicked some ass.
A few were wondering if WB's art was for real and where they could get it. I steered them WB's way. Hope their legit and not looking for coordinates for a drone fired hellfire missle!
I disagree. In the big picture, JPM doesn't give a shit about this debacle. Their captured politicians are still in place, their Fed is still shoveling them zero interest rate cash, their captured Justice Department is still doing (actually I don't know what they do). The next bonus check is a few weeks away. All systems are still go.
http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag118/iabditn/JPMorgan-JP-Morganstan_zps28c63601.jpg
Welcome to JP-Morganstan!
LOL
Morons
It would be sad, if they weren't so fucking petty and mean spirited, as well as fucking dumb.
Who...you mean the self-proclaimed "best and the brightest this nation has to offer" ?
Well deserved ridicule. What's next, JPM brand hand lotion for all those tender wrists?
How about Preparation J for all those sore ass-holes!
Well done Tyler and ZH. Keep their feet to the fire.
Rotten fuckers.
#idoubtthisgetsmuchcoverage
Front page of HuffPo, so not too bad.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/13/askjpm-twitter-qa-turns-i_n_426...
Sure, you won't see it on Dinosaurvision, but that hardly matters anymore, does it?
what a great laugh. to think they didnt see this coming
amazing
So...I guess that whole 'average joe is an idiot watching Dancin' with the Stars' meme just took a big hit.
As for criminal bankers...thinking that they have the power to shape the story line, effectively wipe their crimes clean from the nation's memory...ah...not for a long, long time. Kind of like GM thinking that it can run some ads and win back the nation's car business....after fucking over millions of shareholders and bond holders, alike. Not gonna happen.
And so it would just be better for the nation if these criminal "legacy" institutions just...died already.
I don't know a whole lot of people in reality, but I do know a lot of people who drive pick up trucks. I also know a lot of people who were 20+ year owners of GM who bought a ford or toyota after that whole fiasco, and have yet to go back.
I resemble that remark. Ford is in my driveway now.
American Banker and Huffington Post covered it, as well as a lot of other sites. This isn't going away anytime soon. The internet never forgets.
"Damn you, internet! Nobody laughs at me!"
--
Jamie "Save the Whales" Dimon
That was as funny as Articles of Impeachment being brought against Holder...tomorrow ;-)
http://blogs.rollcall.com/218/gop-lawmakers-release-holder-articles-of-impeachment/
Can someone start an #ASKERICHOLDER twitter feed?
Mr.Holder, you circumvented existing US law by using strawman gun purchasers & then allowed the guns to be smuggled across an international border to Mexican gang members, which of course, turned up at murder scenes all across Mexico...just as you planned.
So why did you stop this successful taxpayer funded operation? #ASKERICHOLDER
EPIC!
hahahahaha
POST YOUR COMMENTS HERE!
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2013/11/13/after-twitter-fail-jpmorgan-calls...
Include any links you choose
#studiesshowtwitterusersconsiderthemselvessexierthanfacebookusers
Dumb and Dumber can't touch this.
Dangit, just when it was hitting its stride.
Some people are never satisfied. Actors want to be musicians. Musicians want to be actors. Thieving, no-good bankers want to be hoisted on the shoulders of their adoring peasants.
If they had any shame (or brains) they would be stepping slowly, cautiously toward the exit.
It was the cyber equivalent of the vaudeville stage hook.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ktp1c9fvy3Y/TknmPQWB1gI/AAAAAAAAABk/xIWd5vMzZ6...
Go fuck yourself JPM.
The planet hates your fucking guts!!!!!
Oh, this was no fiasco. They wanted to gauge public anger. Besides, NSA now has a new list of drone strike targets.
#AskJPM: "Is Jamie Dimon wearing cufflinks given to him by the POTUS the reason no one is in jail for LIBOR, Foreclosure Fraud, and assisting Jon Corzine steal $1.2 Billion from little old ladies and farmers, or is it because JPM is the bank for the Food Stamp/EBT and Welfare programs?"
Presidential seals today, human teeth tomorrow.
In tomorrow's news: Twitter (TWTR: +16.89%) account of major bank JPMorgan was hacked yesterday setting off a wildfire of negative comments and outright slander. JPMorgan attornies consider filing lawsuits against possible hackers and Twitter users making threatening comments.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Romania's Ceausescus was also completely oblivious that people hated him. I hope for a similar final adjustment of perspective for Mr. Dimon.
Just further proof that the folks in NYC and D.C. are totally out of touch with what is going on in the U.S.
It was heartening to see that applications for gun purchases was beating ObwannaCare applications by 37X...
Only a matter of time before this incident is investigate by the FBI, NSA, & etc. as a case of domestic terrorism against one of the most respected and finest banking institutions. Charges will be filed and new laws protecting JPM & Co will be swiftly passed to prevent future attacks.
LOL
#askJPM have you contacted the NSA to gather all the Twitter trolls using this hashtag so you can eliminate us?
What’s your favorite type of whale? #AskJPM
Has the Fed sent you your own money printing press yet? #askJPM
#AskJPM do you sleep in Bugatti coffins?
What's the best way to get blood stains out of a clown suit? #AskJPM
I was going to suggest we all band together with pitchforks and torches and storm JPM's headquarters tomorrow but, on second thoughts some sarcastic comments on social media instead means I won't have to miss my morning Pilates class. Joan of Ark would turn on her grave if she hadn't been burnt at the stake.
They win every day they are allowed to be open. Their COGS are gifted by the FED, and their margins are divine.
There's a new crook in town. Hang the fucker. Welcome to the party bitch.
@resnikoff The team was laid off a few hours ago. We gave the manager who terminated them a raise for his efforts. #AskJPM
Digilab @TheDigilab30mJPMorgan’s #AskJPM: a lesson in corporate use of #SocialMedia & understanding social sentiment towards your brand http://bit.ly/186rU2L
My favorite from this Los Angeles Times story on the debacle [3rd tweet down].
"When Jamie Dimon eats babies are they served rare?
I understand anything above medium-rare is considered gauche. #AskJPM"
@Talking_Monkeys
Someone should post email addresses for JPM employees and we can bombard them
After Jaime Dimon gets head from that Presstitute Maria Bartimolo, or, whatever the fuck that whore's name is over at CNBC, she will report that our Motley Crew over here at Zerohedge are a threat to the Nation because we treated JP Morgan so unfairly...if this gets any Main Stream Media coverage at all.
If I were you...I would reply to that Cancellation Tweet and rub this in. (I have.) They are pieces of shit that have no balls to stand and deliver.
The cancellation is just demonstrative that they have no clue when it addresses...KEEPING THEIR WORD...BEING HONEST.
They thought that they would field "Softball Questions" by the unaware. Guess what? WE ARE AWAKE, AWARE, and it now seems, A UNITED FORCE that must be RECKONED WITH.
NAIL THEIR ASSES TO THE CROSS. NO MERCY AS THEY HAVE NO MERCY.
Too bad. The 'Money Honey' was going to set her smart phone on vibrate and leave it between her legs everytime a hail Jamie Tweet came through.
Welp. Looks like it's back to the Lloyd faced rabbit tonight
Epic! Would love to be able to read everything tweeted.