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DOJ Announces $13 Billion "Largest Ever" Settlement With JP Morgan

Tyler Durden's picture


To the DOJ, a $13 billion receipt is the "largest ever settlement with a single entity." To #AskJPM, a $13 billion outlay is a 100%+ IRR. And perhaps more relevant, let's recall that JPM holds $550 billion in Fed excess reserves, on which it is paid 0.25% interest, or $1.4 billion annually. In other words, out of the Fed's pocket, through JPM, and back into the government. Luckily, this is not considered outright government financing.

From the DOJ:

Justice Department, Federal and State Partners Secure Record $13 Billion Global Settlement with JPMorgan for Misleading Investors About Securities Containing Toxic Mortgages

The Justice Department, along with federal and state partners, today announced a $13 billion settlement with JPMorgan - the largest settlement with a single entity in American history - to resolve federal and state civil claims arising out of the packaging, marketing, sale and issuance of residential mortgage-backed securities (RMBS) by JPMorgan, Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual prior to Jan. 1, 2009.  As part of the settlement, JPMorgan acknowledged it made serious misrepresentations to the public - including the investing public - about numerous RMBS transactions.  The resolution also requires JPMorgan to provide much needed relief to underwater homeowners and potential homebuyers, including those in distressed areas of the country.  The settlement does not absolve JPMorgan or its employees from facing any possible criminal charges.

This settlement is part of the ongoing efforts of President Obama’s Financial Fraud Enforcement Task Force’s RMBS Working Group. 

“Without a doubt, the conduct uncovered in this investigation helped sow the seeds of the mortgage meltdown,” said Attorney General Eric Holder.  “JPMorgan was not the only financial institution during this period to knowingly bundle toxic loans and sell them to unsuspecting investors, but that is no excuse for the firm’s behavior.  The size and scope of this resolution should send a clear signal that the Justice Department’s financial fraud investigations are far from over.  No firm, no matter how profitable, is above the law, and the passage of time is no shield from accountability.  I want to personally thank the RMBS Working Group for its tireless work not only in this case, but also in the investigations that remain ongoing.”

The settlement includes a statement of facts, in which JPMorgan acknowledges that it regularly represented to RMBS investors that the mortgage loans in various securities complied with underwriting guidelines.  Contrary to those representations, as the statement of facts explains, on a number of different occasions, JPMorgan employees knew that the loans in question did not comply with those guidelines and were not otherwise appropriate for securitization, but they allowed the loans to be securitized – and those securities to be sold – without disclosing this information to investors.  This conduct, along with similar conduct by other banks that bundled toxic loans into securities and misled investors who purchased those securities, contributed to the financial crisis.
“Through this $13 billion resolution, we are demanding accountability and requiring remediation from those who helped create a financial storm that devastated millions of Americans,” said Associate Attorney General Tony West.  “The conduct JPMorgan has acknowledged - packaging risky home loans into securities, then selling them without disclosing their low quality to investors - contributed to the wreckage of the financial crisis.  By requiring JPMorgan both to pay the largest FIRREA penalty in history and provide needed consumer relief to areas hardest hit by the financial crisis, we rectify some of that harm today.”

Of the record-breaking $13 billion resolution, $9 billion will be paid to settle federal and state civil claims by various entities related to RMBS.  Of that $9 billion, JPMorgan will pay $2 billion as a civil penalty to settle the Justice Department claims under the Financial Institutions Reform, Recovery, and Enforcement Act (FIRREA), $1.4 billion to settle federal and state securities claims by the National Credit Union Administration (NCUA), $515.4 million to settle federal and state securities claims by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), $4 billion to settle federal and state claims by the Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA), $298.9 million to settle claims by the State of California, $19.7 million to settle claims by the State of Delaware, $100 million to settle claims by the State of Illinois, $34.4 million to settle claims by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and $613.8 million to settle claims by the State of New York. 

JPMorgan will pay out the remaining $4 billion in the form of relief to aid consumers harmed by the unlawful conduct of JPMorgan, Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual.  That relief will take various forms, including principal forgiveness, loan modification, targeted originations and efforts to reduce blight.  An independent monitor will be appointed to determine whether JPMorgan is satisfying its obligations.  If JPMorgan fails to live up to its agreement by Dec. 31, 2017, it must pay liquidated damages in the amount of the shortfall to NeighborWorks America, a non-profit organization and leader in providing affordable housing and facilitating community development. 

The U.S. Attorney’s Offices for the Eastern District of California and Eastern District of Pennsylvania and the Justice Department’s Civil Division, along with the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Northern District of Texas, conducted investigations into JPMorgan’s, Washington Mutual’s and Bear Stearns’ practices related to the sale and issuance of RMBS between 2005 and 2008.

“Today’s global settlement underscores the power of FIRREA and other civil enforcement tools for combatting financial fraud,” said Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Division Stuart F. Delery, co-chair of the RMBS Working Group.  “The Civil Division, working with the U.S. Attorney’s Offices and our state and agency partners, will continue to use every available resource to aggressively pursue those responsible for the financial crisis.”

“Abuses in the mortgage-backed securities industry helped turn a crisis in the housing market into an international financial crisis,” said U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of California Benjamin Wagner.  “The impacts were staggering.  JPMorgan sold securities knowing that many of the loans backing those certificates were toxic.  Credit unions, banks and other investor victims across the country, including many in the Eastern District of California, continue to struggle with losses they suffered as a result.  In the Eastern District of California, we have worked hard to prosecute fraud in the mortgage industry.  We are equally committed to holding accountable those in the securities industry who profited through the sale of defective mortgages.”
“Today's settlement represents another significant step towards holding accountable those banks which exploited the residential mortgage-backed securities market and harmed numerous individuals and entities in the process,” said U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania Zane David Memeger.  “These banks packaged and sold toxic mortgage-backed securities, which violated the law and contributed to the financial crisis.  It is particularly important that JPMorgan, after assuming the significant assets of Washington Mutual Bank, is now also held responsible for the unscrupulous and deceptive conduct of Washington Mutual, one of the biggest players in the mortgage-backed securities market.”

This settlement resolves only civil claims arising out of the RMBS packaged, marketed, sold and issued by JPMorgan, Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual.  The agreement does not release individuals from civil charges, nor does it release JPMorgan or any individuals from potential criminal prosecution. In addition, as part of the settlement, JPMorgan has pledged to fully cooperate in investigations related to the conduct covered by the agreement.

To keep JPMorgan from seeking reimbursement from the federal government for any money it pays pursuant to this resolution, the Justice Department required language in the settlement agreement which prohibits JPMorgan from demanding indemnification from the FDIC, both in its capacity as a corporate entity and as the receiver for Washington Mutual.   

“The settlement announced today will provide a significant recovery for six FDIC receiverships.  It also fully protects the FDIC from indemnification claims out of this settlement,” said FDIC Chairman Martin J. Gruenberg.  “The FDIC will continue to pursue litigation where necessary in order to recover as much as possible for FDIC receiverships, money that is ultimately returned to the Deposit Insurance Fund, uninsured depositors and creditors of failed banks.”

“NCUA’s Board extends our thanks and appreciation to our attorneys and to the Department of Justice, who have worked closely together for more than three years to bring this matter to a successful resolution,” said NCUA Board Chairman Debbie Matz.  “The faulty mortgage-backed securities created and packaged by JPMorgan and other institutions created a crisis in the credit union industry, and we’re pleased a measure of accountability has been reached.”

“JPMorgan and the banks it bought securitized billions of dollars of defective mortgages,” said Acting FHFA Inspector General Michael P. Stephens.  “Investors, including Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, suffered enormous losses by purchasing RMBS from JPMorgan, Washington Mutual and Bear Stearns not knowing about those defects.  Today’s settlement is a significant, but by no means final step by FHFA-OIG and its law enforcement partners to hold accountable those who committed  acts of fraud and deceit.  We are proud to have worked with the Department of Justice, the U.S. attorneys in Sacramento and Philadelphia and the New York and California state attorneys general; they have been great partners and we look forward to our continued work together.”

The attorneys general of New York, California, Delaware, Illinois and Massachusetts also conducted related investigations that were critical to bringing about this settlement.

“Since my first day in office, I have insisted that there must be accountability for the misconduct that led to the crash of the housing market and the collapse of the American economy,” said New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, Co-Chair of the RMBS Working Group.  “This historic deal, which will bring long overdue relief to homeowners around the country and across New York, is exactly what our working group was created to do.  We refused to allow systemic frauds that harmed so many New York homeowners and investors to simply be forgotten, and as a result we’ve won a major victory today in the fight to hold those who caused the financial crisis accountable.”

“JP Morgan Chase profited by giving California’s pension funds incomplete information about mortgage investments,” California Attorney General Kamala D. Harris said. “This settlement returns the money to California’s pension funds that JP Morgan wrongfully took from them.”

“Our financial system only works when everyone plays by the rules,” said Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden.  “Today, as a result of our coordinated investigations, we are holding accountable one of the financial institutions that, by breaking those rules, helped cause the economic crisis that brought our nation to its knees.  Even as the American people recover from this crisis, we will continue to seek accountability on their behalf.”

“We are still cleaning up the mess that Wall Street made with its reckless investment schemes and fraudulent conduct,” said Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan.  “Today’s settlement with JPMorgan will assist Illinois in recovering its losses from the dangerous and deceptive securities that put our economy on the path to destruction.”

“This is a historic settlement that will help us to hold accountable those investment banks that played a role in creating and exacerbating the housing crisis,” said Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley.  “We appreciate the work of the Department of Justice and the other enforcement agencies in bringing about this resolution and look forward to continuing to work together in other securitization cases.”

The RMBS Working Group is a federal and state law enforcement effort focused on investigating fraud and abuse in the RMBS market that helped lead to the 2008 financial crisis.  The RMBS Working Group brings together more than 200 attorneys, investigators, analysts and staff from dozens of state and federal agencies including the Department of Justice, 10 U.S. attorney’s offices, the FBI, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), HUD’s Office of Inspector General, the FHFA-OIG, the Office of the Special Inspector General for the Troubled Asset Relief Program, the Federal Reserve Board’s Office of Inspector General, the Recovery Accountability and Transparency Board, the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network, and more than 10 state attorneys general offices around the country.

The RMBS Working Group is led by five co-chairs: Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Division Stuart Delery, Acting Assistant Attorney General for the Criminal Division Mythili Raman, Co-Director of the SEC’s Division of Enforcement George Canellos, U.S. Attorney for the District of Colorado John Walsh and New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman.

Learn more about the RMBS Working Group and the Financial Fraud Enforcement Task Force at:


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Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:21 | 4171043 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Modern-day Kabuki Theater.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:23 | 4171050 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

The Fed already paid this fine for them! Now Chase will bump up their monthly fees, overdraft fees, banking fees, teller fees etc etc!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:33 | 4171087 ghostfaceinvestah
ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Yup, interest on excess reserves, did not exist pre-crisis, the gift that keeps on giving.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:36 | 4171103 Dear Infinity
Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:39 | 4171119 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

so they recycled taxpayer money.  AM I SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED?

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:41 | 4171127 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Fuckin chump change for the CEO who dont give a rat's ass because "he is richer than you".

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:47 | 4171163 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

How much do you get for rigging the PM markets in order to make the US dollar look stronger and thereby enabling the Fed cover to print MOAR in order to redistribute wealth from the poor to the wealthiest? #Askjpm

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:52 | 4171196 dryam
dryam's picture

Hmmm, say you are penalizing JP Morgan when you are really trying to prop up the housing market.

When are people going to wake up to the daily lies?!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:59 | 4171228 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

if you overlook the pesky witch-hunting settlements, jd is doing everything you could ask of a ceo

moving the ball downfield

generating value for stakeholders


maria b 

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:31 | 4171394 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

"Jail is for the Little people."

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 21:20 | 4172091 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

CAlling Judge Rakoff. Here's your chance to do your job and stop blaming the government. You are "of" the government so get on with it.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:06 | 4171240 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

exactly, they're just moving the same money around. Normally, when criminals get caught and then admit their crime, first they go to jail, second they pay resitution with their own money. 

So this means that the government is a co-defendant and once again, the taxpayer is the crime victim    

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:45 | 4171666 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The Attorney General of the United States of America, uses his office to obtain $4 billion in compensation for the VICTIMS of JPM's fraudent actions in the MBS market, and then uses those funds intended for victims to compensate persons who were not harmed and who ARE NOT VICTIMS by the actions covered by the settlement agreement.

Eric the Bagman has misappropriated (stolen) USD $4 billion from the victims of JPM.

THAT IS IMPRESSIVE, almost as impressive as the number of people oblivious to it, or the meaning of Niemöller's quote (the actual order(s), not the screwed up version on certain stone monuments that were bastardized to achieve political or monetary aims).

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:44 | 4171445 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

....and no one went to jail... 13bil, whatta-fucking-joke.

Hang em' high bitchez!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:23 | 4171051 WarHorse
WarHorse's picture

Who gets the $13,000,000,000 ???

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:28 | 4171065 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

It gets evenly divided into the Swiss Bank Accounts of members of congress and senate.

The "perks" of public office.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:31 | 4171080 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture


Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:22 | 4171591 ajax
ajax's picture



"It gets evenly divided into the Swiss Bank Accounts of members of congress and senate."

No no darling, not Swiss - not anymore.

Look to Delaware and other rat's nests a little "closer to home". No no, la Suisse is most definetly NOT de rigueur any longer. Your gov't saw to that.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:29 | 4171072 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

Can JPM clawback the bonuses paid to their executives who scammed the pension funds?

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:33 | 4171602 ajax
ajax's picture



Can JPM clawback the bonuses paid to their executives who scammed the pension funds?

No, they claim they couldn't - and they didn't. Not one US financial institution engaged in "clawbacks" of any sort to my knowledge: "sophisticated investors" excuse... Watch and listen to the hearings on Cspan. Listen to the equivocations... Blankfein was among the "superb" in the category of obfuscation as moral righteousness. Time is running out to get these fuckers.

I'm always amazed to see people here write "Why did the USFRB pay European banks!!!?" It's simply because USA banks stiffed them with shit like Goldman's Abacus and hundreds of other piles of shit.




Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:44 | 4171135 Metal Minded
Metal Minded's picture

And in a few months, when this is forgotten, how much of the $13B will quietly find its way back to JPM, by way of the back door of the institution of which it is a partial owner, the FED? Disguised as...? ...or Off Balance Sheet? Ever more creative ways to pump more FED $B into the Treasury. May the Dog & Pony Show continue.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:14 | 4171192 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

This will work.  No more government shutdowns, see?  We don't need no stinkin' debt ceilings or budgets.


Edit: Wait a minute.  I just realized something inherently evil in my unwitting sarcasm.  The government doesn't need to borrow if they can manage to "penalize" several large banks (that are backstopped by the Fed) on an annual basis...

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:25 | 4171369 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

They take BTC, right? 

Last I heard, the DOJ takes anything from the Big Boys.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:44 | 4171092 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"Modern-day Kabuki Theater."

Eggscellent PAridimes.

Blah...blah...blah theatricks at their best.

What is more concerning is what is going on down south. We may be witnessing reports that are indicating what the al-CIA-duh are up to next.

Not surprisingly, and well predicted many years ago by those who simply see, there are these reports that indicate they yes, the babylonian govt is sneaking in enemies of America over the mexican border. For many of those mercenary murderers, they can easily pass as illegal invaders.



Some reports to ponder: enemy

1000 Syrian Al Queda with US Passports?:

Louie Gohmert: al Qaeda told to act ‘Hispanic’



Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:59 | 4171229 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

If Jamie Dimon is still alive.....the settlement was WAY too small.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:44 | 4171655 ajax
ajax's picture



"Modern-day Kabuki Theater."  I utterly disagree. Have you ever really witnessed The Grand Kabuki? Have you ever seen the Grand Kabuki perform live?  J. Dimon and Co. couldn't compete.

This is all "back-stage" - no live drama which is what Kabuki does better than most. See it to believe it.

Brush-up on your analogies and go see The Grand Kabuki.


Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:21 | 4171044 bania
bania's picture

Read my lips, no new taxes.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:22 | 4171047 Devotional
Devotional's picture

I would prefer reading - " DOJ spends 13 USD on a lethal injection for Dimon ".

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:49 | 4171471 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

nah, just IV bag him with grey goose till he's almost dead, then bang with a hammer until pulp.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:23 | 4171049 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Tax payers bail out another "too big, to fail bank".


wash repeat...



Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:25 | 4171052 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

shit.... the bernank will have that reimbursed on their balance sheet before COB today.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:25 | 4171057 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

I'd gladly pay a $13B penalty if I was allowed to steal $50B. Where do I sign up?

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:50 | 4171180 Milestones
Milestones's picture

snoopy, maybe try on another zero at the end of your equation.The gov. gets 9 BIllion and the people (A small per cent of them) will get the other 4 Billion,of course that's before the bureaucrats get their hands involved.)

What the hell does DOJ stand for???: Guess I need a little help-my feeble little brain no trabajar hoy.                  Milestones 

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:28 | 4171383 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The "people" who get the 4B aren't the people who were robbed by JPM selling shitty deal MBS, this $4B in extroted political kickbacks being laundered through the State coffers.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:05 | 4171263 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

exactly, this is just a surcharge

this corruption makes me want to puke

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:48 | 4171674 ajax
ajax's picture



I upvote you DaveyJones

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:25 | 4171059 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

And is anybody going to jail for this admitted crime? Of course not...

American Justice; What a fucking joke.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:16 | 4171319 madcows
madcows's picture

Every time I hear some refer to our "Justice System" I frigging lose my head.  ITS NOT A DAMN JUSTICE SYSTEM< IT"S A FUCKING LEGAL SYSTEM.  Justice is a fantasy.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 19:33 | 4171817 Not Goldman Sachs
Not Goldman Sachs's picture

The $$$is not even the issue with's who pays it. JPM is faceless. JPM did not commit the crime, Jamie and his henchmen banksters did. If their heads are not gone their cash should all be redistributed to the victims. JPM is persons! Since we cannot imprision jpm,then the banisters should be.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:27 | 4171061 The Fonz...befo...
The Fonz...before shark jump's picture

what a joke...cut out jpm and have bernake just print for DOJ...either way unborn future americans are on the hook for this...

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:28 | 4171064 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Were paying what $85B a month to prop up this shit and they settle for 13B? 


Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:29 | 4171069 CharliePrince
CharliePrince's picture



what criminal acts are planned for 2014


is  it ok  if i front run  them   thx.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:29 | 4171070 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

LOL!  Justice?  More like "Just-Us"

Crime certainly pays if you are a bankster.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:30 | 4171076 NRGIsFree
NRGIsFree's picture

Is anyone going to ask what is going to happen to the $13 Billion?
Should I be expecting a settlement check in the mail?

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:22 | 4171305 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Question, Were you buying MBS from JPM?

This is actually problematic since DOJ is claiming it's a settlement of MBS fraud.

"the largest settlement with a single entity in American history - to resolve federal and state civil claims arising out of the packaging, marketing, sale and issuance of residential mortgage-backed securities (RMBS) by JPMorgan, Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual prior to Jan. 1, 2009...JPMorgan will pay out the remaining $4 billion in the form of relief to aid consumers harmed by the unlawful conduct of JPMorgan, Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual. That relief will take various forms, including principal forgiveness, loan modification, targeted originations and efforts to reduce blight."

I know Eric Holder is just a dumb nigger and entitled to some latitude to compensate for his innate inferiority. However, he should have at least a minimal comprehension of what a mortgage backed security is and who was legally authorized to purchase them and actually did buy them from JPM before signing off on such a settlement.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:38 | 4171418 BeagleOne
BeagleOne's picture

Flag this asshole for racist comments...

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:07 | 4171550 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

That's not racism, that's the implicit definition of affirmative action as upheld by the US Supreme Court.

Or are you trying to argue that affirmative action and perhaps the Supreme Court is racist?

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:17 | 4171320 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Nah, you gotta stand in some line for the $4B, which will likely instead go to "NeighborWorks America," whoever the fuck they are.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:31 | 4171081 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

....In other news; JPM announces "Record Profits," for Fiscal Year 2013 of 938 Billion!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:33 | 4171088 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

This is like transferring money from one bank account to another. What goes out is going to come straight back. This is like paying a fine to yourself.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 19:04 | 4171730 optimator
optimator's picture

Called an Inter Company Transfer.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:35 | 4171095 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

This is what is wrong with the country.

If you, me or your neighbor did even a 1/1,000,000 of this activity we would spend our lives in prison.

These guys and their criminal brethren get paid tax payer money to pay these fines and continue on their merry way.

And where is the so-called fifth estate corporate media?

Getting their financing from the very banksters.

I used to be proud to be a banker.

What is going on is banking-in-name-only.

These banks, the Fed and anyone making more that 2 SD of nominal national income from these cartels need to be dismantled and hung by their necks until their bodies rot.

Any Fed that carries a gun, walks into court or pretends to regulate a market should hang their heads in shame, because as public servants they are silent at these injustices.

This is why the country is going down the tubes. No faith in the system.

No Justice. No Peace.


Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:15 | 4171294 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I can assure you from the trenches, absolutely joe criminal would have bubba for his bailout 

It pisses me off that more prosecutors (at every level) aren't speaking out

They can't be this stupid

Then again, the executive branch is their boss



it's obvious what's happening, the fiat government and finance boys have banded togehter in a mutual goal to con the world. It aint working but that's not stopping them, only accelerating their insanity. This is not going to end well.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:19 | 4171329 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I take it you don't understand that government is merely THE most organized form of crime?

Albeit with cheaper suits.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:39 | 4171424 BeagleOne
BeagleOne's picture


Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:34 | 4171097 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

you put your hand in this pocket and I'll my hand in that pocket


ready?  go!!!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:36 | 4171106 RhoneGSM
RhoneGSM's picture

re-read the article. It's from the Onion. Quotes Holder as saying individuals are still open to criminal charges.  Gotta hand it to the Onion. This looked real!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:25 | 4171367 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

profound point

the real news is now a greater parody than the parody

Here's Onion's:

"The financial world was shaken today when CEO Jamie Dimon stated that the Occupy Wall Street movement had significantly eaten into the banking titan's profits, announced Chase would have to drastically reformulate its business plan, and then paused a beat before saying, just kidding, they made a record $17.4 billion last year."

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:38 | 4171118 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

A rabbi would get moar in a circumcision. Jamie's foreskin probably would drag on the sidewalk. #AskJPM

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:43 | 4171141 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

the largest settlement and not paid for with JPM $

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:46 | 4171159 docmac324
docmac324's picture

If no one goes to jail, then it is just money. 

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:46 | 4171160 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Do they think we're stupid? Ahh don't answer that.
Anyways wake me up when the punishment for a crime doesn't involve the Fed (i. e. JPMorgschild) writing a check for a settlement.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:46 | 4171161 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

And how much does each fraudclosed homeowner get of that $13 Billion ?

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:47 | 4171164 kenezen
kenezen's picture

Our wonderful Government has a beef with Jamie and manufacture's crap.  The loans that were bad were ones the government requested the Bank to buy along with the troubled institututions. But, that doesn't stop the government from doing what all the competitors could not do. make JP unprofitable for a period of time. 

Jamie is the most successful Banker in the world. He has a fault he tells people thing they just don't want to hear! Like in 2006 when Jamie told the Senate that the program proposed by the same Dodd frank of having every person buy a home created the allowances of terrible Sub Prime loans that jamie said would be unsustainable. He was right. After the crash he took defunked companies to help the government. He went in front of Congress and warned that Dodd Frank was flawed and very badly written. He pissed everyone off!

He's kind of Arrogant. But, then again he's really smart and better than any competitors. It's sad that this Executive Government wants to bleed the Banks to feed their wasting expendatures. Thats the way Socialism works. 

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 19:01 | 4171722 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

How long you been Jamie's "boy"

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:55 | 4171208 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

 $298.9 million to settle claims by the State of California, $19.7 million to settle claims by the State of Delaware, $100 million to settle claims by the State of Illinois, $34.4 million to settle claims by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and $613.8 million to settle claims by the State of New York. 

All other states can kiss off? Of course Illinois was in there. Anyone else see something strange here. 

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:58 | 4171220 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

The 13 billion is in Jamie's desk. Bottom left drawer, under the bag of candy stolen from children.

Or as the DOJ is putting it:

"shut up, pay up...then carry on"

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:02 | 4171248 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Fucking sofa change.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:27 | 4171373 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

more like a love seat

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:06 | 4171268 Madcow
Madcow's picture

If you're not cheating, you're not trying.



Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:09 | 4171280 Ourrulersknowbest
Ourrulersknowbest's picture

How many people here complaining bank with these fuckers????
If ya do,then don't complain
If you don't,then go right ahead and call for these pricks to be lynched.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 19:02 | 4171725 optimator
optimator's picture

We should all have a Chase card.  great for charging that cup of coffee once a month or so, it'll give you great pleasure when you get the statement.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:16 | 4171313 Totin
Totin's picture

This is a great idea! Why raise taxes when you can just shake down businesses? Pretty sure this is just the start of a new method of funding gun running operations, wars, and maybe even EBT cards.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:21 | 4171346 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


You think this was a shake-down?

Wow... just fucking wow.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:50 | 4171477 Totin
Totin's picture

What do you think the Gov will do with that $13 Billion? They're laughing all the way to the bank. Bonuses for everyone! In all seriousness, it's just one very powerful, corrupt entity (FedGov) shaking down another less powerful, corrupt entity (JP Morgan). Maybe when we see some prosecutions for all of the Government corruption (eg Obamacare) my faith will be restored - but I'm not holding my breath.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:58 | 4171713 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

Holy shit your IQ matches your avatar!!!!!

The Fed has been handing out $85 billion a month, and guess who they have been handing out to, moron.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 17:29 | 4171388 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

The FED printed JPM enough to cover it and have a bunch left over for the next crooked deal.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:03 | 4171530 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Dimon on the phone with Berstanke: "Hello, how are you? Great. Hey I need $13 billion more printed up and put in our account. Had an unexpected bill come up that we need to pay. No problem. Great, thanks. See on the links Sunday."

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:18 | 4171579 Vooter
Vooter's picture

We need gas chambers.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 18:55 | 4171699 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

No problem, that's less than half of the $85 billion the Fed gave them with last month's QE.

But, you can "fool 'em with financials" every-time, and JPM will still not have a losing day in the market.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 19:23 | 4171790 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

"That's why I'm richer than you!"
... oh wait...

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 19:56 | 4171887 Not Goldman Sachs
Not Goldman Sachs's picture

Criminal charges to my wettest dream.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 21:20 | 4172092 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

What's $13 Billion in a game of quadrillion's?

Just another shakedown.

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 23:12 | 4172342 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

They should be sued for not being able to shake off this lawsuit.  Incompetence!

Tue, 11/19/2013 - 23:58 | 4172447 rpholly
rpholly's picture

Let me see if I get this right:  The people who caused the problems got paid millions in bonuses; the shareholders and customers get to pay the fines?

Wed, 11/20/2013 - 05:18 | 4172717 MarcusLCrassus
MarcusLCrassus's picture

Its a great business model the banks have: steal as much as you can, and if you get caught you pay a fine of about 5% of what you stole. 


And DEFINITELY no jail time for anyone involved.


The best way to rob a bank is to run one. 

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