Believe It Or Not: Japan To Reopen Soccer Facility In Fukushima For 2020 Olympics

Tyler Durden's picture

Below we present a twitter exchange we had with a Japanese media outlet overnight on Twitter. It needs no commentary.

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Save_America1st's picture

If you build it...they will fry.

Gene Parmesan's picture

If you build it they will come







down with cancer years later.

Jumbotron's picture

It's the Japanese for Christ's sake !!!!!!

It has ALWAYS been about honor and saving face !!!!!!

But now YOU get to commit HARI KARI for THEM........not the other way around.

Frozen IcQb's picture

Glow in the dark soccer!

How cool is that?

Only in Japan


Say What Again's picture

Think about all the money they will save by not having to turn on the lights!

hedgeless_horseman's picture



So, kid, did you enjoy watching the game?

ParkAveFlasher's picture

The movie " Akira" is looking prophetic right now.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



I am going out on a very short, thick, stout limb to make a prediction that geiger counters will not be allowed at the facilities.  It will be for your safety.

krispkritter's picture

I'm predicting the balls on the players will be exactly the same size as the soccer balls, thus leading to very confusing gameplay and a host of groin injuries...

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

This is like a real life version of X-Men. Mutants will win the games!!

Lost My Shorts's picture

Also predicting not a lot of stoppage time added to the end of matches.  And lead jockstraps will be the hot fashion accessory.

Nobody For President's picture

The ZH humorists did NOT let me down this morning...

Pluses for all of you.

kchrisc's picture

You know, with this picture you probably just gave the TSA goons an idea.

StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, replace those five interlocking rings with black & yellow radiation circles...

Sudden Debt's picture

that warm fuzzy feeling you feel in your guts?....


Ying-Yang's picture

In addition, a new startup company near J Village was announced....

AquaFukushima® bottled water goes through a state-of-the-art purification process so that you get the refreshment your body craves in its purest form. Our water will make your body GLOW.

prains's picture

I feel so sorry for all the young kids working their butts off to make the 2020 Olympics, what a JOKE Japan, you should be so ashamed of your gov't




Popo's picture

Judging from the exploding Japanese populations in Bangkok and Singapore -- I'd say they are doing something:   Leaving.

As usual, it's those without cash that are getting fucked.

JeffB's picture

The Olympic Committee or whomever should just put a stop to it.

Of course it may all be moot anyway if it all blows up by then... another earthquake &/or tsunami... or the Japanese or world economy blows up.


StychoKiller's picture

I wonder if the radiation badges/dosimeters are gonna be gold, silver and bronze...

101 years and counting's picture

they can play night games without needed lights.  just watch the green guys chase the flourescent yellow ball.

Aknownymouse's picture

On the plus side, they will not need any stadium lighting.

Ying-Yang's picture

Lance Armstrong announces...

Fukushima's Testicular Livestrong Radiation Therapy Bathhouses

FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Why wait? You can recreate the experience by sticking your head in the microwave and pushing the start button.

Trimmed Hedge's picture

Me Japanese

Me play joke

Me put radioactivity in your Coke...

Jumbotron's picture

I think I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so !



Sudden Debt's picture





CheapBastard's picture

"Never give a sucker an even break."

Sudden Debt's picture

Well, I think the wrestling matches will look a lot like  THE HULK AGAINST GODZILLA!!!

Jumbotron's picture

*SNORT* !!!

Well....there goes the chocolate milk through the nose !!   LOL !!!!!    +1000 Mothras

Aknownymouse's picture

Janet Yellen can not see any radiations. We are ok.

Save_America1st's picture

All Olympic athletes can make a stand and boycott Japan's Olympics.  This will force the media to stop their Marxist imposed blackout of what has really been happening in Fukushima and will expose the very real massive amounts of contamination spewing out of that place into the atmosphere and into the now very dead Pacific Ocean.

It will force the governments to start talking about it and hopefully telling the truth as well and maybe countries all over the world will begin to acknowledge this mess and start working together on a plan to contain that mess and save what's left of the planet before Tepco and Japan cause a greater fuking disaster with those spent fuel rods.

Athletes all over the world endeavoring to go to those Olympic games only do so at the risk of their lives and they should refuse to go unless the world wakes up and tackles that situation with all their might to get it contained.

Yen Cross's picture

     The Japs are going to Shanghai all the olympic spectators and force march them over to Fukushima reactor #4 to remove the fuel rods by hand...

Everybodys All American's picture

Just say no thanks to kamikaze soccer events.

Aknownymouse's picture

They are thinking of inviting china and korea for the first game.

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Come to the Japanese 2020 Olympics, not only will you get laid, you'll also get rayed.....

Caveman93's picture

Jesus Christ! Why not just have the fucking event in Chernobyl! 

Aknownymouse's picture

Na..radiations not strong enough

shovelhead's picture

Daily Onion?

When absurdity has a power number after it, it's gotta be true.

I think we can now consider this statement axiomatic.

This may be the historical watershed moment where we have officially entered DC Comics Bizarro World.

Stuck on Zero's picture

It's easy to decontaminate the facility.  Just walk around the facility at night and remove everything that glows in the dark.


Quinvarius's picture

Fine if you like to fight mutants.  They mostly come at night...mostly.

Aknownymouse's picture

I know I know.... We can also build a new home for the FED there.

firstdivision's picture

At least it won't need electricity since everything will glow.

fuu's picture

All those extra lungs breathing in the dust will help decom the area quicker too.

Bunga Bunga's picture

Don't worry, the yellow card will contain the trefoil, they will take care of everything, all will be safe.