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How The Fed Is Keeping Warm This Winter

Tyler Durden's picture




 

What is an aspiring market manipulator to do on those cold winter mornings in the 9th floor trading hub of Liberty 33, when the heat emitted by the money printer is not enough to keep one warm, and when repeatedly punching the "buy" button has lost its heat-generating, full body workout bliss? Wear this of course.

h/t @ljuti

 

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Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:10 | 4192012 Dear Infinity
Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:12 | 4192014 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Or openly "trade" (i.e. buy) equities furiously -

Yves has a fantastic essay today about the FRBNY and it's possible current activities:

  • Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Speculation About Whether the Fed Manipulates the Stock Market Becoming More Mainstream

 

     "I was intrigued to see Pam Martens write up some data points that align with the concerns of the stock market pros in a post titled, New York Fed’s Strange New Role: Big Bank Equity Analyst. If the Fed isn’t dabbling in the stock market, why does it need this sort of expertise? Key sections from her write-up":

But the New York Fed itself is helping to fuel suspicions about what’s going on within its cloistered walls…. Of the 12 regional Federal Reserve Banks, the New York Fed is the only institution with a trading floor and highly sophisticated trading platforms. But despite multiple requests, the New York Fed will not provide a photo of the full trading area. Photos of its gold vault and currency vault are on line, but photos of the trading area is off limits…

 

The resume of Kathleen Margaret (Katie) Kolchin is also noteworthy…she works for the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, “performing equity research on the large cap US and European banks. Throughout her career as an Equity Research Analyst, Katie has covered various sectors, including Global Consumer Products, Global Real Estate, and Metals and Mining, at UBS Securities and also at a boutique investment bank.”

 

Even more curious is the resume Kolchin has posted at LinkedIn. The resume states that the New York Fed has an “internal equity research team,” of which she is the Senior Analyst. The team’s coverage includes Bank of America, Barclays, Citigroup, Credit Suisse, Deutsche Bank, Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan, Morgan Stanley, UBS, and Wells Fargo… she has “Developed a sell-side style research platform, including work product branding, distribution strategy, and internal client marketing presentations…” Kolchin adds that she uses her “capital markets experience and contacts” to garner insights into the market’s reaction to “stock and bond prices.”

 

“Branding”? “Distribution”? “Marketing”? Stock prices? What’s going on here. There are famous, long-tenured bank analysts all over Wall Street….How is this the job of the New York Fed?

 

     "I too am curious as to what the justification is for this sort of position. Since when are stock prices part of the Fed’s job description?"

 

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:20 | 4192039 negative rates
negative rates's picture

They only trade hot money, and time is still not on their side.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:45 | 4192110 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Surprise surprise the Whitehouse was lying about the Iran deal:

http://freebeacon.com/iran-white-house-lying-about-details-of-nuke-deal/

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:12 | 4192173 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

" the White House’s version of the deal as “invalid” and accused Washington of releasing a factually inaccurate primer that misleads the American public."

Hey, it worked with obamacare.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:21 | 4192196 Bennie Noakes
Bennie Noakes's picture

So Obama told the Iranians: "If you like your nukes, you can keep your nukes."?

 

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 22:48 | 4192669 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

So Obama told the Iranians: "If you like your nukes, you can keep your nukes."?

 

No.

They can keep their nukes ONLY if they were purchased before the 'Nuke-care' bill was passed. If their nuclear contracts were modified AFTER passage, then they can't keep them either. Rahm's brother made sure that this would be inserted in to the 'Nukebamacare' act (at the last minute, behind closed doors).

The nuclear program of Iran was launched in the 1950s with the help of the United States as part of the Atoms for Peace program.[1] The participation of the United States and Western European governments in Iran's nuclear program continued until the 1979 Iranian Revolution that toppled the Shah of Iran.[2]

Shit, I hate this part...the 'truth' thingie...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 03:20 | 4193076 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Your truth thingie is a piece of shit thingy. Tere have been quite a few developemnts in the nuclear science area since 1979 dBag.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 20:19 | 4192359 Relentless
Relentless's picture

Meh! The Iranians release a press release aimed at their public, the US releases one aimed at its public. The details haven't been finalised, so no one is technically lying.

 

The Iranians trade a nuclear program that they know they'd never be allowed to finish without being bommbed back to the stone age for improvements in their economy. While the US gets access to Iranian oil and the chance to push back on the Israelis and Saudis and tell them they don't control US actions.

 

Anybody screaming loudly about this deal is probably backed by either teh Saudis or the Israelis.

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 03:20 | 4193077 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

or is a Islamo fascist....

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:32 | 4192079 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

A room full of baboons throwing rotten bananas and shit at each other and hammering the "buy" button.     What else do you want to know?

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:40 | 4192096 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Yet another ZH "conspiracy-ish" theory becomes more "mainstream." ZH was on this back 2009, yet it's only now, 4 full years later, that even a portion of the establishment media dare openly remark upon such things, or, gasp...begin to question the whos/whats/whys...

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 22:44 | 4192665 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Haha I actually did laugh out loud at that one. Good stuff

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:20 | 4192192 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Possibly the NYFRB does not trust what it is being told by this group: Bank of America, Barclays, Citigroup, Credit Suisse, Deutsche Bank, Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan, Morgan Stanley, UBS, and Wells Fargo, and wishs to do it's own 'research' and 'trading' in order to 1) test models, 2) assure executions, 3) measure outcomes, etc. I have long been of the opinion that financial houses are really intelligence operations for the benefit of people you or me will never meet.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:35 | 4192237 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The FRBNY takes its orders from many in that group.

#NoConspiracyTheory

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 23:14 | 4192729 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

@ TruthInSunshine:

Thanks. I actually caught this article on another site this afternoon. Think it was over at WRH.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:41 | 4192098 prains
prains's picture

can I get that T in an XXL?

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:28 | 4192211 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Everyone is selling their gold to buy christmas presents for Tommy. He needs that PS4 so bad. Meanwhile bitcoin is approaching 900 once again. A little slower this time - a good thing. Still free bitcoins available at http://freebitco.in/?r=25727

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:12 | 4192020 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

<--I like The Limerick King.
<--I no like The Limerick King.

Over.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:53 | 4192123 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

There was a King of Limericks,

Who was one of ZH’s big swingin' dicks,

He loved to give Ben a black eye,

So we said he was a helluva guy,

And cheered as he called the Fed thievin' pricks.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 22:55 | 4192686 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

No dreaded 'downarrow', BUT:

Too many phrases!

4, not 5!

"He gave Ben a black eye, we said 'helluva guy'",

AND....(da da-da da da-da da dah.)

There. two phrases cleaned up in to one. Don't forget the cadence.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:18 | 4192025 lailapa
lailapa's picture

The end of the world is near

The ten plagues of Pharaoh “have been brought upon” the USA.

http://eamb-ydrohoos.blogspot.gr/2010/02/ten-plagues-of-pharaoh.html

..

Greenspan, Bernanke, Trichet and Akerman are not only like-minded, colleagues and banqueters;

Authored by Panagiotis Traianou

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:25 | 4192057 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

Do I have time to eat 7000 calories on Thursday & burn a whopping 15 by rubbing a couple out?

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 23:04 | 4192702 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Well, if you eat 7,000 calories on Thursday, it is doubtful that you could look down and find the thing you wish to be 'rubbing'. Even if you did find it, you would be trying to use your other hand to get the rolls of of your so-called 'manhood', in order to try to satisfy yourself, thus depriving you of the pleasure of exploring other avenues of immediate self-gratification.

For further advice, ask Marco Rubio about this subject. Mr. Yellen doesn't have one (no, REALLY, it doesn't), and Ms. Bernanke never could get hard enough to achieve what you desire.

It't probably burn 500 calories just to search through all the belly fat...

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:13 | 4192026 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

When they get home they bask under infra-red lamps to stay warm, like the scaly lizards they are.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:24 | 4192056 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

I think the one in the middle is Nancy Pelosi.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:15 | 4192030 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

heh, they misspelled "MOAR"

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:37 | 4192091 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Bunch of moarons...

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:27 | 4192055 Bennie Noakes
Bennie Noakes's picture

"Bonfire of the Treasuries" - Nothing like a nice fire in the fireplace to keep warm.

Then next year they'll announce that they can't unwind the Fed balance sheet because they have "misplaced" all the QE bonds they've purchased.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:32 | 4192077 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

fed announcement from the future: Given that JP Morgan doesn't have any more treasurys for us to buy we will begin buying facebook common and sallie mae bonds at an outrageous profit. long live lord dimon, king of the grifters!

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:36 | 4192090 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

 'How The Fed Is Keeping Warm This Winter'  We can burn all the Fed Chair's at the stake?  How about some Bennie Bux?  

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:43 | 4192102 Erudite Redneck
Erudite Redneck's picture

Looks like Oliar is at it again.  Seen at Drudge.

IRAN REJECTS 'INVALID' NUKE DETAILS

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:47 | 4192108 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

I'll give you three Dorito's Chips for it....

or $3,000 Benny Bucks, sellers choice.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:47 | 4192111 economessed
economessed's picture

"How The Fed is Keeping Warm This Winter" -- by being condemned to an eternity in the hot half acre of hell by one of the benevolent gods?

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 18:53 | 4192115 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Don't knock Bernanke and Co. They have succeeded in keeping the world from toppling over while ransacking the pockets of everyone below the top 1%.

Their fatal mistake is in believing that they will escape with the spoils in the end.

Their other fatal mistake is in believing that by tampering with the thermometer (STOCK MARKET LEVELS) that they can change the climate (THE ECONOMY)

 

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 21:13 | 4192156 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

Where can I buy one of those shirts?  It would be a good conversation-starter.

 

EDITED TO ADD:

Here:

http://www.zazzle.com/federal_reserve_keep_calm_shirt-235054920677930248

 

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 23:10 | 4192721 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

DAMN! I wanted a MOUSE PAD!

I went over there, and all I got was a lousy T-SHIRT!

I wanted to be just like Benny, and be able to PRINT MOAR with the click of a mouse!

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:23 | 4192200 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

I thought you were going to say roasting orphans.

Tue, 11/26/2013 - 19:32 | 4192233 999.9
999.9's picture

Keep
Calm
And
Short
S&p 500

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