London's Mayor Says We Should "Thank The Super Rich"

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

If you thought you had seen it all when it comes to sob stories of the “super rich” following the comparison of the criticisms of banker bonuses to the lynching of black people in the south by AIG’s CEO in September, think again. The latest groveling, inane defense of the “super rich” comes from none other than the gatekeeper of the largest oligarch whorehouse on planet earth. The Mayor of London, Mr. Boris Johnson.

Now I warn you, do not read the following Op-Ed on a full stomach. The vapid, nonsensical, Onion-like prose may very well induce fits of nausea and uncontrolled regurgitation. This is quite frankly one of the worst things I have ever read in my life. It echoes like a sort of grandiose ass-kissing ritual one would have encountered in a Middle Age court from an aspiring manservant of the realm, desperately trying to rapidly advance a coupe of notches up the social strata of some decadent feudal kingdom. Simply put, Boris Johnson should be ashamed to show his face in public after writing such disingenuous garbage.

Now for some excerpts from the UK Telegraph:

The great thing about being Mayor of London is you get to meet all sorts. It is my duty to stick up for every put-upon minority in the city – from the homeless to Irish travellers to ex-gang members to disgraced former MPs. After five years of slog, I have a fair idea where everyone is coming from.


But there is one minority that I still behold with a benign bewilderment, and that is the very, very rich. I mean people who have so much money they can fly by private jet, and who have gin palaces moored in Puerto Banus, and who give their kids McLaren supercars for their 18th birthdays and scour the pages of the FT’s “How to Spend It” magazine for jewel-encrusted Cartier collars for their dogs.


I suspect that the answer, as Solon pointed out to Croesus, is not really, frankly; or no happier than the man with just enough to live on. If that is the case, and it really is true that having stupendous sums of money is very far from the same as being happy, then surely we should stop bashing the rich.

So he starts off right away with complete idiocy. Sure, I genuinely agree that having that much money is more of a curse than a blessing, but that doesn’t mean we should stop bashing oligarchs. Not all (but most) oligarch wealth has been created or maintained and coddled via Central Bank policies that favor their class, bailouts and crony capitalist deals. That’s why the rest of us aren’t benefiting from this phantom “economic recovery.” Perhaps he forgot the saying by Honore de Balzac:

“Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.”

Now back to bumbling Boris.

On the contrary, the latest data suggest that we should be offering them humble and hearty thanks. It is through their restless concupiscent energy and sheer wealth-creating dynamism that we pay for an ever-growing proportion of public services. The top one per cent of earners now pay 29.8 per cent of all the income tax and National Insurance received by the Treasury. In 1979 – when Labour had a top marginal rate of 83 per cent tax after Denis Healey had earlier vowed to squeeze the rich until the pips squeaked – the top one per cent paid only 11 per cent of income tax. Now, the top 0.1 per cent – about 29,000 people – pay an amazing 14.1 per cent of all taxes.

Of course they pay the most in taxes. Just like JP Morgan pays the most in fines. It’s a cost of business and a small price to pay to make sure the serfs don’t get too uppity. Seriously, what planet does this guy live on?

Nor, of course, is that the end of their contribution to the wider good. These types of people are always the first target of the charity fund-raisers, whether they are looking for a new church roof or a children’s cancer ward. These are the people who put bread on the tables of families who – if the rich didn’t invest in supercars and employ eau de cologne-dabbers – might otherwise find themselves without a breadwinner. And yet they are brow-beaten and bullied and threatened with new taxes, by everyone from the Archbishop of Canterbury to Nick Clegg.

So according to Boris, we couldn’t survive with oligarchs. Why not just bring back royalty? Oh wait…

The rich are resented, not so much for being rich, but for getting ever richer than the middle classes – and the trouble is that the gap is growing the whole time, and especially has done over the past 20 years. It is hard to say exactly why this is, but I will hazard a guess. Of all the self-made super-rich tycoons I have met, most belong to the following three fairly exclusive categories of human being:

It’s not hard to say exactly why the gap has widened. I’ve basically been writing about it for years. His conclusion; however, exposes his embarrassing bias.

(1) They tend to be well above average, if not outstanding, in their powers of mathematical, scientific or at least logical reasoning. (2) They have a great deal of energy, confidence, risk-taking instinct and a desire to make money. (3) They have had the good fortune – by luck or birth – to be able to exploit these talents.

I know a lot of people that demonstrate the above qualities. Many, many people, and none of them are oligarchs. So please give it a rest.

We should be helping all those who can to join the ranks of the super-rich, and we should stop any bashing or moaning or preaching or bitching and simply give thanks for the prodigious sums of money that they are contributing to the tax revenues of this country, and that enable us to look after our sick and our elderly and to build roads, railways and schools.

Now he’s totally off the deep end. I hear the Onion is looking for writers…

Indeed, it is possible, as the American economist Art Laffer pointed out, that they might contribute even more if we cut their rates of tax; but it is time we recognised the heroic contribution they already make. In fact, we should stop publishing rich lists in favour of an annual list of the top 100 Tax Heroes, with automatic knighthoods for the top 10.

Knighthoods. Makes a lot of sense actually since there generally seems to be a strong negative correlation between folks being knighted and being decent human beings.

If this was your attempt at continuing to inflate a oligarch housing bubble in London, congrats Mr. Johnson. Well done. Perhaps some day, you’ll receive your precious knighthood.

Full article here.

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Sam Clemons's picture

Fuck him.  And Bernanke.  And Yellen.  

PT's picture

Hahahahahahaha!  The plebs are too happy!  Let's give 'em something to be angry about.  Watch this!

willwork4food's picture

You guys should chill and look at this logically. The super rich will need A LOT more security, and A LOT more room to put those guys in 24/7. I'm not even going to mention the reality that those security personell might get a little pissed with the $10/hr pay one day to accidentally forget to set an alarm.

One way or another it will trickle down. Even when it's the  1%'ers  blood.

Anusocracy's picture

They are rich mainly because of an innate understanding of the value of government: a mechanism for transferring wealth upwardly.

Skateboarder's picture

This guy is such a whore. You gotta have lost dignity to write shit like that.

Freddie's picture

His grandfather was a Turkish sultan or something.  Not sure where the anglcised name came from. Boris was born in NYC so he probably is more eleigble to be President then our muslim.

Skateboarder's picture

We wanted the heir of Ali Baba but got the heirs of the 40 theives instead?

edit: all I know is that this is about twenty gigapukes worth of hubris:

We should be helping all those who can to join the ranks of the super-rich, and we should stop any bashing or moaning or preaching or bitching and simply give thanks for the prodigious sums of money that they are contributing to the tax revenues of this country, and that enable us to look after our sick and our elderly and to build roads, railways and schools.

Son of Loki's picture

I would personally like to thank m ost of the generoius bankers hwo have shared .01% of their profits with the hoi poloi.....that's why it's a sad day that  we are forced by moral principles and FAIRNESS to lift them up on the stool and wrap that rough noose around their fragile necks .....

James_Cole's picture

% of income tax paid by top rich is a GIGANTIC fucking red herring, particularly in the US.

How much of the payroll tax do they pay? Oh yeah, nothing. Payroll tax happens to = income tax receipts but who's keeping score? And all those lucky ducks who get to pay income tax and payroll tax, they get a special name - the middle class. Rich fuck the poor, middle picks up the tab.

If these parasites (the uber rich) were to all disappear tomorrow what would happen? They'd immediately be replaced and no one would notice the difference. Make the middle class extinct and your whole economy goes with it.


philipat's picture

Where is Boris Alatovkrap when you need him? Boris MAY be the next UK PM. I mean the London Boris. Life goes on....Yawn

Cacete de Ouro's picture

Well he did go to Eton and was the MP for Henley...So, he has always been surrounded by tossers, and became one

booboo's picture

Meh, cock sucker doing what cock suckers do, he's just pining for his Christmas bonus from the boys in th hood.

andrewp111's picture

Transferring wealth upwardly and downwardly. It is the middle that gets destroyed by both ends.  ObamaCare is the perfect analogy to the world at large.

Anusocracy's picture

That is true, but while the lower 30% might share $250 billion in loot, so might the upper .01%.

JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Oh, those zany super-rich!

What will they do next?!


PT's picture

Re: "... simply give thanks for the prodigious sums of money that they are contributing to the tax revenues of this country, and that enable us to look after our sick and our elderly ..."

...who can't look after themselves because someone stole all their money... 

PT's picture

Re:  ~ "The top .1% pay 14% of income tax ..."

Tell me again, what % of the income do they have?  Can we have an investigation into the tax evasion inferred right there? 

Mentaliusanything's picture

Make excellent Fioe Gras... washed down with a cheeky Chianti. Smoke cure the rest for snacks while hunting with their 12 gauge hung off sandbags over the doors of the Bentley. Bentley's are well sprung 2.8 ton paddock bashers. Run Boris Run Run Run, run little rabbit run run run

Nothing but the truth.'s picture

Just fuck off Johnson . And when you get there you can fuck off some more . Then when you have fucked off long enough that you can't hear me no more I'd like you to come back here so I can tell you to fuck off again.  What a public school , feckless, fucking fartface prick.


Loose Caboose's picture

I'll see your fuck and raise you two fucks.

Jim in MN's picture

I will thank them with a biiiig fat foot up the ass, for destroying democracy, saddling my kids with unpayable debt, and being fuckheaded twats.

Is that thankful enough?


Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Boris is a likable buffoon; no one takes him seriously in the UK. An upper class caricature who doesn't know how to use a comb and cuts his own hair in the dark.

Eton educated one of the elite boys, if he is saying this shite then he must know that the day of reckoning for the bankers will be a close encounter with a lamp post and six foot of rope. This must be in light of the RBS scandal breaking over here at this very moment, where RBS bankrupted businesses to steal their assets at a knock down price, and sell them on to a subsidiary company to dispose of for a big profit. This is going to be massive story. Here is the story

 London Bankers also bankroll the Tories, enough said.


zhandax's picture

Your last sentence says it all.  You really think the bankster apologist quoted above will allow the RBS chairman to go to jail?

LetThemEatRand's picture

The "productive class."  Playing polo, saying they deserve it, and living on inherited wealth while the people try to figure out how to survive since polo became a thing.

prains's picture

Don't get me started on fucking Oligarchs.......they need to be very concerned for their physical futures

LetThemEatRand's picture

They are "entitled" to their wealth and physical safety. 

prains's picture

LOL, yes "they" are...... but that means nothing to zombies, they just need a face to eat

Tall Tom's picture

They will cannibalize upon one another. The rich are fleeing to the Caymans. Do you have a Lear Jet so that you can eat their faces?


It was a Homeless man in Florida who had his face eaten. That Homeless man does not qualify as one of the rich.


And yes they are entitled to every dime that they have stolen. They did it LEGALLY. Possession is Nine Tenths of the Law.

LetThemEatRand's picture

So nine tenths of the time we should take back what they stole.   And the other one tenth of the time is the world we live in now.

prains's picture

...or the zombies eat only 9/10 th of the face and leave 1/10th for oral hygiene sake

Rusty Shorts's picture

...apparently, foraging is legal, just saying

Wahooo's picture

Legal, eh? What's that mean? Here's what it means: that some uber-rich fuck paid the government to create a law that enables them to take money from others.

There's a difference between legal and just. The wider the difference, the more likely we are to have a nice, bloody revolution to wipe the world of these parasites, wash, rinse, repeat, as they say.

PT's picture

The aristocracy never left town.  The divine rulers just modified their script.  We have scientific proof that you will be richer if you are poorer and we are rich.

Tasty Sandwich's picture



The origins of the game of polo are obscure, being claimed by Iran, China, India and others.  Some authors give dates as early as the 5th century BC (or earlier) to the 1st century AD for its origin by the Medes.  Certainly the earliest records of polo are Median (an ancient Iranian people), and by the time of the Tang Dynasty, records of polo were well-established in China.

Polo - Wikipedia

Al Huxley's picture

BunzBunzBunz, was that you?  Are you actually the Mayor of London?

Eireann go Brach's picture

Jesus what next, a fucking skinny half black, brown, white Kenyan guy as the mayor of London!

zhandax's picture

They are welcome to take ours

thestarl's picture

Typical Eton educated arsehole.What the prick fails to mention is that most of these cunts are born on third base and went to the same private school as daddy.  

The_Prisoner's picture

How right you are! I have been around some of those fucks, and most are of below-average intelligence, wit and looks.

The only exceptional trait most share is the exceptional confidence that whathever happens, they will be looked after.

ThirdWorldDude's picture

Boris is talking his book. I still remember the good laugh I had when I heard him thanking "the people of the City of London" for helping him get reelected and pledging to work only for the benefits of The City of London.

Guess who was BJ's largest campaign sponsor and why... (there's even a twitter account by Bankers4Boris)

Pizza man's picture

it's not evil to be born "on third base". Are we disparaging the wealth or the cronyism? Just want to draw that line. And while I think Boris poured it on a little too thickly, who is to blame for the crony relationships? Do the super rich create cronyism or is it a function of bloated government and government corruption that attracts these people like flies to poop?

And who voted for statist , corrupt and bloated government across all of the Western world (and Japan) that attracts these kinds of people? WE DID! This article is nothing but more scapegoating the responsibility that deserves to sit firmly upon our own shoulders.

It seems we want the "utopian" entitlemnent state, but don't want to see the evil that always comes along with it?

The Abstraction of Justice's picture

Anyone who makes a stand against the corrupt and bloated government is assassinated. That is why JFK's death is covered up to this day. Democracy? There is no democracy.

Wahooo's picture

Oh my god, seriously? SERIOUSLY?????

We voted for a bloated, corrupt government?

We voted for the bloated, corrupt government given to us by two parties whose narrowly-defined candidates were carefully selected to look after the interests of the uber-rich and who received votes by lying to Citizens about their intentions and then doing just the opposite under the cloak of politics, parliamentary rules, bureaucracy and outright secrecy once they got into office.

It's the UniParty and it's a fucking sham! All of it, through and through.

We want an entitlement state??? SERIOUSLY?  We just want to be able to afford a doctor visit, have some measure of temporary food assistance if we're somehow without means. Instead, the uber-rich have given us a bloated healthcare system that funnels money to healthcare billionaires and a crack habit called SNAP to keep us coming back for more. They're ZOOKEEPERS for crying out loud and this is Animal Farm.

FieldingMellish's picture

If you know Boris Johnson, this is not surprising in the least. Red Ken will return in 3 years. He is no better but is the polar opposite.

brown_hornet's picture

"Tax the rich till there are no rich no more"

StandardDeviant's picture

Yeah, that'll work.

Not to stick up for wealthy heirs, corrupt ex-dictators, market fixers, and the like; but there are still a few people out there who are wealthy because they earned it the old-fashioned way.

Really, the level of envy in these comments is astonishing.

ebworthen's picture

Time to run some Dickens in the press again, to compete with this fop's drivel.

Oh yes, those poor rich sods, wondering how to survive on 1.5 million/year.

Sob, weep, tears of pity for the mammon lusting wankers.

Where have I put my kerchief!?