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The NSA Is Tracking Your Porn Browsing

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Ed Snowden's latest revelation may leave SEC officials quaking as the NSA "has been gathering records of online sexual activity and evidence of visits to pornographic websites as part of a proposed plan to harm the reputations of those whom the agency believes are radicalizing others through incendiary speeches." Of course, as we have seen, this 'information' would never be used by the government for non-radical-terrorist suppressing reasons, as the ACLU notes, is is "an unwelcome reminder of what it means to give an intelligence agency unfettered access to individuals' most sensitive information using tactics associated with the secret police services of authoritarian governments."

 

Via Snowden...

The National Security Agency has been gathering records of online sexual activity and evidence of visits to pornographic websites as part of a proposed plan to harm the reputations of those whom the agency believes are radicalizing others through incendiary speeches, according to a top-secret NSA document.

 

The document, provided by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, identifies six targets, all Muslims, as “exemplars” of how “personal vulnerabilities” can be learned through electronic surveillance, and then exploited to undermine a target’s credibility, reputation and authority.

 

The NSA document, dated Oct. 3, 2012, repeatedly refers to the power of charges of hypocrisy to undermine such a messenger.”

Full ACLU Statement:

The NSA considered discrediting six people by revealing surveillance evidence of their online sexual activity, visits to pornography websites, and other personal information, according to a report today in The Huffington Post. The article cited documents leaked by former NSA contactor Edward Snowden. The targets of the NSA’s plan were all Muslims whom the NSA characterized as “radicals” but who were not believed to be involved in terrorism. The documents say one of the targets was a “U.S. person,” a term describing American citizens and legal permanent residents, but all of the targets were reportedly outside the United States.

 

American Civil Liberties Union Deputy Legal Director Jameel Jaffer had this reaction:

 

“This report is an unwelcome reminder of what it means to give an intelligence agency unfettered access to individuals' most sensitive information. One ordinarily associates these kinds of tactics with the secret police services of authoritarian governments. That these tactics have been adopted by the world’s leading democracy – and the world’s most powerful intelligence agency – is truly chilling.”

 

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Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:16 | 4194342 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

Me too?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:19 | 4194344 Gen. Keith Alexander
Gen. Keith Alexander's picture

Yes, you too.

It's okay, we all do it. Only the hypocrites need to worry.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:26 | 4194380 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

"The targets of the NSA’s plan were all Muslims whom the NSA characterized as “radicals” but who were not believed to be involved in terrorism."

 

Perhaps you should ask the goats and sheep if they think these "radicals" are terrorists or not...

www.barnyardsex.com

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:31 | 4194406 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

ok, ok, I admit it...I like tits.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:37 | 4194435 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

They call them teats and udders... but hey... whatever works for you...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:46 | 4194481 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

At least they don't know about all of the VHS tapes and DVD's everyone bought....

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:01 | 4194519 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The National Security Agency has been gathering records of online sexual activity and evidence of visits to pornographic websites as part of a proposed plan to harm the reputations of those whom the agency believes are radicalizing others through incendiary speeches, according to a top-secret NSA document.

Those that came up with this plan, while supposedly working for us, are both evil and stupid. 

Evil...

You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a
wicked man to be a malicious witness. You shall not fall in with the
many to do evil, nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit, siding with
the many, so as to pervert justice, nor shall you be partial to a poor
man in his lawsuit.

Stupid...

An ad hominem (Latin for "to the man" or "to the person"[1]), short for argumentum ad hominem, is a general category of fallacies in which a claim or argument is rejected on the basis of some irrelevant fact about the author of or the person presenting the claim or argument.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:03 | 4194571 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

Whoever came up with this plan are evil and stupid.

 

You can say that again.  If Snowden knew this, all NSA agents do and they are following the evil leader.  How can they live with themselves?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:16 | 4194596 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

These people are clearly dangerous terrorists, cannot be trusted,
and everything that they say is a lie, because...
they look at porn on the internet.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:17 | 4194624 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Bawhney Fwank........YOU'RE WATCHING GAY PORN!!!  YOU'RE WATCHING GAY PORN!!  YOU'RE WATCHING GAY PORN!!!!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:26 | 4194658 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Mrs. Thong is going to be awfully pissed when I tell her the feds have her dominatrix dispositions profiled because of her Internet use.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:42 | 4194740 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Soon they will be calling asking if she will whip their ass for them.  She can punish them at that time.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:55 | 4194790 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture

They were already tracking 4chan /s before I got there.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:58 | 4194809 Four chan
Four chan's picture

if you eliminated porn from the net, there would be one website left.

and that website would be www.bringbacktheporn.com.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:06 | 4194837 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Crap, now they are trying to recruit her for Interrogator duty.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:35 | 4194940 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

They can't trace anything to me.   I only watch porn on my work computer at the SEC.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:12 | 4194603 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

If it was only just about malicious eavesdropping on everyone for the motivation of coercion through blackmail which is clearly bad enough, it pales in comparison when you put it into context with this -

Happy Thanksgiving

Love

Pocahontas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ2VXJpQ2Uw#t=569

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:50 | 4194744 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

I have nothing to hide, and I thank you for posting that link. It's good to be reminded, frequently, the horror we unleash in the name of self-interest / profit / american exceptionalism / capitalism. Sorry, you can't separate the 2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llFZyACvDss

o.O

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:08 | 4194791 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Sorry to say that I cannot separate them, as I think we need to look at all of these acts in their entirety since the Patriot Act and NDAA came into existence.

If you're ex-military or active and you've read what's in the NDAA at least, you would know the battlefield no longer has any borders.

After all. We certainly know who the "terrorist" is?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 21:51 | 4195688 Ranger4564
Ranger4564's picture

I may not have been clear before. I agree with you.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:37 | 4194443 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

big teats...

DaddyO

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:45 | 4194479 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

The irony here is that porn is what paid for the internet in the early days!

Ans I suppose all us subscribers to Playboy, Hustler and Penthouse magazines many years ago in the old days are on the list!

What a fucking joke!   Go out and do something useful like catch car thieves and murderers with all this technology!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:50 | 4194510 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Where's the leverage in that?

DaddyO

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:03 | 4194575 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Some early online pioneer on a trade show receiving an award
from a than influential publication making a press speech : " 80 % of our customers use our equipment to watch dirty pictures (porn today, end of quote in this interview ) and he went on that
this acceptance means we are on to something, cause nothing else rules the world... Nobody dared to listen to this
tribesmen straight out of NYC.

He got the message and went public with a big NASDAQ scam.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:40 | 4194457 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

But you clicked away from those animalistic interracial
depiction of human like sexual intercourse ? They have
your moves recorded and dare you say in a show trial you
don`t feel guilty for the racist you are...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:49 | 4194506 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

I may have fat-fingered a few times....

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 23:39 | 4195946 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

That happens just everyone, all the time. 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:01 | 4194557 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

"titties and beer....great big titties and beer..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2VM47YsOe0

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:44 | 4194974 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

US Head Jackofficer: General Keith Alexander

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:20 | 4194358 fonestar
fonestar's picture

One big problem with their blackmail plans.... by the time they have to use them the NSA/USA have lost all credibility and trust anyway around the globe.

"I visited which site?  Prove it.  You have records?  Prove the data was not manipulated."

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:27 | 4194393 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

That was my reaction, too. How are they going to show evidence of this and be believed?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:30 | 4194401 Kitler
Kitler's picture

"How are they going to show evidence of this and be believed?"

 

It worked for them on 9/11

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:31 | 4194411 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

There's been a global awakening since then, which will only spread. If the NSA pulls this on anybody they're only going to harm their own reputation further.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:13 | 4194869 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

NSA only does this because it CAN do this.

They got all that computer horsepower so they figure why not use it. 

Fuck the morality of it.  NSA has no morals.

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:31 | 4194412 fonestar
fonestar's picture

Not true.  Most people outside the United States never believed the official 9/11 report from the start.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:41 | 4194965 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

And yet the puppet masters have still achieved their goals.

Thu, 11/28/2013 - 00:00 | 4195996 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

A majority of people IN the US don't believe the official line on JFK's death either but that's the story in the history books.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:30 | 4194404 fonestar
fonestar's picture

All of the NSA and CIA's power is entirely reliant on the continuation of the dollar paradigm.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:35 | 4194434 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

You think China is using BTC to undermine the USD? Is that the goal?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 18:07 | 4195044 fonestar
fonestar's picture

That would be a good move (if they are confident they have enough gold accumulated).

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:36 | 4194440 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"How are they going to show evidence of this and be believed?"

Most new computers have inbuilt cameras that are always on...watching YOU.

Sound too!!

(Tape over the camera and Mic if you are not using it)

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:13 | 4194610 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

And then there are all those smart TVs. you know, the ones that see you and hear you so you can tell it what you want to watch. And then sell your preferences to someone else so you get appropriate ads. (I wonder what kind of ads one gets after viewing porn sites?) And then, of course, some TVs snoop thorough your files (well, only the names, they say) and let someone know of all the episodes of Game of Thrones you've illegally acquired. 

So...be careful what you do in front of the TV set. It doesn't matter if you're with your spouse, or boyfriend(s) or girlfriend(s), be careful. Doubly so if you invite that 10-year-old neighbor over for some lemonade. 

Somethimes I think that our only hope is a massive EMP to destroy all electronics, but that would raise a whole set of new problems.

Thu, 11/28/2013 - 00:03 | 4196005 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Orwell would be astounded.  Big Brother got the masses to PAY FOR and INSTALL THE EQUIPMENT THAT SPIES ON THEM.

HELL.... WITH FACEBOOK, TWITTER and all else, people are self reporting, giving Big Brother all the info it could want on their behavior.

Soon, the peopel that DON'T participate in 'social media' will be 'suspect' 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:49 | 4194508 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

I try to cover evidence of anything since I was born (my first felony crime) since this post got made public.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:00 | 4194554 Zadig
Zadig's picture

If the targets are important, they're trying to find out what type of honeypot will be irresistible.  Recording the ensuing "date" would be rather useful, especially if they're married or have unusual tastes.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:21 | 4194365 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Do they have a special server farm dedicated to collecting the records of SEC employees?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:47 | 4194493 BillyTheBlade
BillyTheBlade's picture

How am I supposed to get any reading done with all of this smoking hot trim in all the ads in the margins of this site?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:16 | 4194343 fonestar
fonestar's picture

It's okay they won't be able to divulge this after an EMP right?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:18 | 4194616 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

Hey Fone,
The NSA knows your favorite site is http://meatspin.com

They tracked all your bitCon donations. 'iFoneStar'.

Over.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:28 | 4194668 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Stay classy man.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:50 | 4194769 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

All right man. But can you guys put a half-muzzle on this barker FCS?

Over.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:16 | 4194345 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

amish porn and naked furniture, quilting   

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:17 | 4194346 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Come on Snowden, let's dispense with the bullshit. Get something good out there already.

WTF Snowden ran for his life to tell me the NSA tracks porn? 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:20 | 4194360 One And Only
One And Only's picture

He ran for his life because we live in a free country where liberties are cherished. Don't forget our dear leader loves you and wants to give you nice things.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:26 | 4194390 JailBank
JailBank's picture

And you just made the list! Terrorist.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:12 | 4194432 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I'm starting BitPornTM.  A new and exciting online adult entertainment site where people can come and enjoy porn to their hearts content without having to worry about Uncle Sam's prying eyes, ears, or recording devices...unless of course you're into being being watched.

BitPornTM, a new sex em-porn-ium, will accept all major digital cryptocurrencies.

We will also produce our own feature films of the XXX variety.  Our first is now under production and due for release in late 2014. The working title is "It Ain't No Blockchain In My Pants."

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:17 | 4194347 One And Only
One And Only's picture

 

Oooooo I jerk off to porn Oooooo. Got me.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:28 | 4194395 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

who would've thunk it ?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:38 | 4194452 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

I'm more worried about these assholes that DON'T jerk off to porn.  Lets see what THEY are jerking off to.......

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:21 | 4194638 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Ever watch Big Bang Theory?

Sheldon is a characature of the NSA...

DaddyO

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:01 | 4194816 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

Channeling my inner Freddie:

F tv and Hollywood!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:38 | 4194952 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Lets see what THEY are jerking off to...

They're jacking it to people watching porn.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:17 | 4194349 rp1
rp1's picture

So that's what the Utah datacenter is for.  It's the biggest stash in the world!  Enough to keep the SEC off our backs forever.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:18 | 4194352 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

They've got the dope on John Roberts, Obama, the whole lot.

If you don't go along with the military/industrial/banking complex desires...well then...let's see here...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:36 | 4194436 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Even if they have nothing, they can make it up.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:19 | 4194354 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

ReggieLove.com

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:20 | 4194357 saltine
saltine's picture

Hope the guys at NSA enjoy all that tumblr stuff. (I've been looking at it just for their sake.)

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:20 | 4194361 Agent P
Agent P's picture

If it weren't for ZeroHedge and the weather forecast, 100% of my internet usage would be porn. 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:33 | 4194425 WOAR
WOAR's picture

Those NSA guys probably wish they hadn't seen everything I've seen.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 18:09 | 4195051 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

panties and buttplugs are standard issue dress code for those wankers

 

 

 

Thu, 11/28/2013 - 05:44 | 4196280 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

You're Wally, aren't you?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:39 | 4194433 oddjob
oddjob's picture

What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself? 

 -Randal Graves

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:24 | 4194650 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Cause once you see one women nekid, you want to see them all nekid !!!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 18:48 | 4195151 formadesika3
formadesika3's picture

Yeah, baby!!! 'specially the Janets.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:37 | 4194715 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

If it weren`t for ZeroHedge chart porn, doomster porn or the
gayest discussion in town my internet usage would drop below
any entertainment based accusations. I would quit, seriously.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:21 | 4194362 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

That's me done for!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:21 | 4194364 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

googlepornalytics

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:21 | 4194371 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Way to twerk it NSA!

Really saving America from, um, hairy palms or whatever it was.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:23 | 4194373 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

I doubt that they have sufficent storage space to keep a record of my porn browsing.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:42 | 4194735 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Running through your computer as thick as pancake batter, is it.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:23 | 4194376 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Our tax dollars at work. Hope they have plenty of kleenex on the table while they're looking "over our shoulder" and getting paid with our tax money for it.

Well if this is the cherry on top, here's the rest of the sundae.

http://rinf.com/alt-news/breaking-news/diluted-by-us-and-allies-anti-spying-bill-advances-in-un/

http://www.globalresearch.ca/nsa-infects-50000-computer-systems-worldwide/5359470

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:26 | 4194655 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

P.S.

This doesn't imply or suggest in any way that your bitcoins aren't safe!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:24 | 4194378 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Well at least I know they've gotten "an eye full" from me.

Welcome to the prison porn planet.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:36 | 4194703 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

alex Jones could make a fortune on that. PrisonPornPlanet, add online poker and sportsbetting and instant billionaire.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 18:12 | 4195060 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

online gambling just went legal in Jersey

Thu, 11/28/2013 - 01:10 | 4196129 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

It's ok, it's been legal in New Yawk for 100+ years.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:24 | 4194379 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

So essentially government is doing surveillance on their own employees? Just lock them all in a building and they have work for the next 200 years.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:24 | 4194381 rum_runner
rum_runner's picture

*sigh*  It's an impotent gesture but .. fuck these guys.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:25 | 4194385 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Are there any good free porn sites?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:56 | 4194419 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

These 4 are relatively safe to visit and should cover any interests you may have.

http://www.xvideos.com/

http://www.xhamster.com/

http://www.youporn.com/

http://www.redtube.com/

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:50 | 4194514 superflex
superflex's picture

I start my browsing at badgirlsblog.com and then usually jump to the videos in the 2nd or 3rd babe link on their site which takes you to porntube,com and some other I cant remember.

If it's free, it's for me.

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:35 | 4194700 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

"Are there any good free porn sites?"

'There's more free pornography on the internet than a person can look at in ten lifetimes.'

Schroeder (to Lucy)

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:58 | 4194804 bigrooster
bigrooster's picture

imagefap.com is awesome!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:07 | 4194829 Running On Bing...
Running On Bingo Fuel's picture

I have a free site that includes free phone sex.

http://backpage.com -->escorts

Then find a little chippy that is appealing.

Call her number, tell her your name is Steven Cohen and you own a little hedge fund in Manhattan. You got lots of joo bucks and you're feelin like making it rain. Oh yea.

A little social engineering, but make sure to let her know that 'you're a member of the tribe'. They know these tribe guys pay the best so the phone call can have benefits. Lay it on thick. Tell her that you want to stick hundies into her coin slot, and such...

Over.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:25 | 4194389 Hagen
Hagen's picture

God is everywhere!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:38 | 4194448 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Well sure! It's on the back of your $1 bill an "eye" on top of that pyramid?

Can't say they didn't warn you!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:27 | 4194392 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

I guess the joke is on them. I don't plan on radicalizing or stuff.

I just plan on downloading as much porn as possible.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:30 | 4194400 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

This may piss off some people that NSA doesn't want pissed at them. We can only hope.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 18:30 | 4195102 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Yup, this should strike near and dear to the hearts of the banking/political class. Now they too can be destroyed at the flick of a switch.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:29 | 4194403 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Question: Why is no one organizing a march on the NSA facilities?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:37 | 4194441 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Marching on Ft. Meade isn't a good idea. Getting to the one in Bugfuck Utah has logistics issues.

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:53 | 4194485 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Why?

Because they're too busy bitching about what is being done to them without actually doing anything about it on blogs like this as they roll deeper into Washington's shit created pile!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:30 | 4194405 tuttisaluti
tuttisaluti's picture

I thought the SEC is doing this

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:30 | 4194408 wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

Is there a braille screen? I can barely see.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:50 | 4194512 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Didn't mom warn you that you'd go blind if you kept doing that?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:06 | 4194584 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

They always told us it caused acne and acne caused blindness.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:08 | 4194591 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

ok mom,

i'll stop once i have to wear glasses.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:26 | 4194657 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Thats why I quit doing that when I just needed glasses...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:31 | 4194414 replaceme
replaceme's picture

In the immortal words of OJ, "but I'm still cool, right?" ... Just like Nazi germany, if you don't have anything to hide, you don't have anything to hide. 

Over-Under on revolution?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:34 | 4194428 replaceme
replaceme's picture

That sounded better in my head.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:33 | 4194422 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Holy caka-mollie!

Look at the rush of chickens that just hit the exit door.

Eeeeeeeeek!

Next thing ya know, the NSA will be making porn movies of porn movie watchers!~

Oh wait, israhell has already done that. No wonder the slave congress critters and senate toads all kow-tow to the babylonian bankster world domination and population reduction agendas, while profiting from the sinking ship as it goes down.

Ahhhh...that's the ticket.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:48 | 4194505 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Well done!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:37 | 4194445 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Great.  Now, lets have a contest to see who can find the most fucked up porn imaginable, just to make the NSA guys go "WTF?"  I'm talking about even more fucked up than the one where the amputee chick starts banging the guy in the ass with her stump. 

To the NSA: All my friends already know I watched that one, as I made them watch it.  There is no blackmail material there. 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:53 | 4194528 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Nother one!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 19:46 | 4195278 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

Um, can I get that um, URL for that video....you know,  just for research purposes.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:38 | 4194447 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

We are living a fascist, police state in which the NSA spies on everybody including Congress, all judges and the White House itself.  What they have on the radical Muslims, they have on everyone.  I wonder what they have on Merkel after spying on her since 2002?

The most extraordinary passage in the memo requires that the Israeli spooks “destroy upon recognition” any communication provided by the NSA “that is either to or from an official of the US government.” It goes on to spell out that this includes “officials of the Executive Branch (including the White House, Cabinet Departments, and independent agencies); the US House of Representatives and Senate (members and staff); and the US Federal Court System (including, but not limited to, the Supreme Court).”

The stunning implication of this passage is that NSA spying targets not only ordinary American citizens, but also Supreme Court justices, members of Congress and the White House itself. One could hardly ask for a more naked exposure of a police state.

http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2013/09/13/surv-s13.html

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:02 | 4194564 optimator
optimator's picture

And where does all that go?  Israel, meaning AIPAC.  And they would use it for.....

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:26 | 4194661 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Something to do with "God's Work" mostly...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:40 | 4194455 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

They are collecting records of people who beat off to YouTube Cat Videos too. Be warned.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:40 | 4194460 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Meow!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:14 | 4194613 skank
Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:18 | 4194628 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

I've always had a liking for furry pussies.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:43 | 4194464 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"The NSA Is Tracking Your Porn Browsing"

Note to self - find free automated porn browser and set it to browse only gay anal and German fetish porn sites when PC is not being used to maximize "Yuk!" response from assigned NSA monitor.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:08 | 4194588 Riprake
Riprake's picture

You've gotta do better than that. Set up an auxiliary computer in your house to run without a screen (because NOBODY is going to want to see these sites, including you), and set a browser to surf randomly between several of the sites referenced here.

The reason the browser should be set to surf randomly is to ensure it never stays on one page for very long, thereby spamming the logs of anyone who might be spying on you with as many awful-to-behold entries as possible. This is much like the old goverment agencies' trick of flooding FOIA inquirers with loads of spam and junk data along with the requested information when they are no longer permitted to withhold it, so that it'll get lost in the shuffle.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:43 | 4194471 Zadig
Zadig's picture

The National Security Agency has been gathering records of online sexual activity and evidence of visits to pornographic websites as part of a proposed plan to harm the reputations of those whom the agency believes are radicalizing others.

Presumably "radicalizing others" now includes criticizing monetary policy, the burgeoning police state, or the intentionally hopeless political system.  Blackmail and economic espionage were always the reasons behind the spying.  "Terrorism" was merely to distract the rubes.  If it didn't exist they'd have to invent it.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:47 | 4194494 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

They actually justify this shit as national security.

How about the SEC porn watchers?

Boy I bet that really scared them into getting their shit together.

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:48 | 4194496 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Animal Farm: George Orwell - Full Length Animated Movie (1954)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClaNnaMgbF0 (1:11:58)

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:48 | 4194498 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

They don't have to track you.  All they need to do is go to porn sites or anywhere, using your IP address.  They are at the back door at all the ISPs, right?  So all they have to do is go in while you're off line and configure your IP address to their machine. 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:30 | 4194677 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Kiddie porn sites no doubt... that way they can make you do whatever they want...

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:50 | 4194511 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

Oooph! NOW I'm scared! That REALLY gets me right where it hurts. The LAST thing I want anyone to know is that I'm a raging,unrepentant heterosexual who really gets excited about how naked ladies look. PLEASE don't tell anyone that I'm straight!!

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:53 | 4194515 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Any post that quotes the ACLU is obviously un-American.    Only Lie-brals and commies would believe anything the ACLU says.   So, if the ACLU is supporting a traitor like Snowden then everybody supporting traitor Snowden is nothing but a card carrying ACLU commie hippy pinko who hates America, and the troops!

Love it or leave it hippy,  country first!   And get a goddamn haircut. 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:54 | 4194535 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Is that you "Dick"?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:57 | 4194543 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

Your screen name pretty much sums it up I guess.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:02 | 4194556 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  Your screen name pretty much sums it up I guess.

It's traitors like you that have sent this country into the toilet.   You think the ACLU has the interests of REAL Americans in mind?   All they want to do it turn all the women into lesbians and allow pinko transexuals like Snowden to use the mens bathroom.   Then the Muslums will win.   YOU figure it out.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:04 | 4194569 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

LOL

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:23 | 4194645 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Hey Dick,

Just wanted to let you know that if my "ticker" gives up early on me or I'm in a bad accident and don't make it -it's all yours if you need it!

Not that you won't be at the front of the line like the last time you needed it with your Halliburton cardiologist at the ready.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:13 | 4194604 David Wooten
David Wooten's picture

I thought at first that you were being sarcastic.  The ACLU is wrong about many things but right about a few.  But I guess, in your mind, anyone who associates with someone who agrees with even one thing the ACLU says is a "commie hippy pinko who hates America".  That covers just about everyone and probably you too unless you are a total hermit.  So if you're a hermit, enjoy yourself.  And if you're not a hermit then you're a "commie hippy pinko who hates America" - which means you're a miserable wretch who can't even stand himself.  Either way, I pity you.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:32 | 4194679 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

He's a troll.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:43 | 4194739 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

And a disingenuous one at that...

Just read his posts over time to see what I mean.

DaddyO

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 17:26 | 4194915 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Yep, you got it.  Comes on to sites like these so that HuffPo, TeeVee, etc can refer to the ignorant, biased and racist assholes on Zerohedge.  

 

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:57 | 4194520 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Those guys over at the NSA should be careful or they might shoot an eye out. The NSA is the biggest PORN site of them all!

  Man jacking off-South Park - YouTube

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 15:54 | 4194531 buzzsaw99
Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:15 | 4194619 skank
skank's picture

Trail Mix-a-Lot - Baby's Got Snacks (Sir Mix-a-Lot's 'Baby Got Back' Parody)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt9qHHFkwV4

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:02 | 4194562 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

This is something I said years ago and people said I was nuts. Now it's proven true. How much more evidence do we need that the US government views us citizens as teir property and beholding to them for any and every thought and deed we do.

Yet, media does not even mention our slave status. Some overpaid creep is making a good living off of the taxpayer, most likely a highly paid private contractor.

If we choose to view a little porn, is this government business?

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:06 | 4194582 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Re:  If we choose to view a little porn, is this government business?

First the government allows people to view porn and the next thing you know traitor transexuals are sitting in the stall next you in the bathroom.   You know what they're thinking about when they're in there with you!?!

This country was create by God and if this great-n-glorious nations doesn't wake up and start enforcing Gods will on the immoral people we're all going to end up like the Chinese living in boxes and being forced to march in commy Mao parades.   You figure it out.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:12 | 4194602 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

LOL

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:20 | 4194632 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Here we call them Obamao parades.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:46 | 4194751 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

 

 

If SHTF and they blackmail you tell them you want one of the following two option(s).

1)

Tell them you want to be part of the NSA unit that uses that taxpayer paid for network to spy on there own spouses both (married and divorced) for infidelity. http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/09/27/us-usa-surveillance-watchdog-idUSBRE98Q14G20130927

2)

If they can't get you fixed up with that gig, you tell them you want a job as a member of the Secret Service protecting the President with the detail that goes to Columbia where you won't have to pay the local hookers for their services while you're on duty.

Fixed it.

Wed, 11/27/2013 - 16:04 | 4194573 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Operation Hummingbird; not just for gay nazis anymore it works for analysts too, yes in fact at one point you too will become a liability to hope and change and then the knives come out.  Stop while you can and repent.

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