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CNN Tests "Fixed" Obamacare Website And... It Crashes

Tyler Durden's picture


 'If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.'

       -  P.J. O'Rourke

If CNN was doing its best this morning to prove that the second coming of is fixed, it... failed.


GEORGE HOWELL, HOST: We know the first thing you have to do when you go to this website you have to select your state. Is that working?


ALISON KOSIK, CNN BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT: And what's funny is I was talking with Matt, and, yeah, that seemed to work, right, when you logged on. But then came the road blocks. So tell me about what happened, because we're getting another error message here, and it's supposed to be running smoothly. We’re just not seeing that.


MATT SLOANE, CNN MEDICAL PRODUCER: Yeah, so, you know, we've been trying to get into the site since October 1 on and off again. I have to say it did work a lot more smoothly this morning. I got through. I picked my state. I put in all of my information and I got through the whole process in eight minutes. And then it said my status was in progress. So I went to refresh it and I got the error message.

But fear not. According to David Plouffe, 2008 campaign manager for Barack Obama, Obamacare "will work reall well"... by 2017. To wit:

This program was designed to be implemented by the states. And in most of the states it is going quite well. You talked about Medicaid expansion. I think it's just a fact, and it may take until 2017 when this president leaves office, you're going to see almost every state in this country running their own exchanges eventually and expanding Medicaid. And I think it'll work really well, then.


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Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:07 | 4204540 TomGa
TomGa's picture

Don't really care b/c not signing up for ObummerCare anyway.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:12 | 4204562 EatYourCornTake...
EatYourCornTakeyourPill's picture

I find it interesting that Obama's media buddies have turned on him. I guess TPTB really wanted the war in Syria that he didn't do. Now they are setting up the Democrats for a huge defeat at the next Midterm elections so that they can do whatever they want without him. As much as I dislike the guy, props to him for actually pretending to be interested in going to war but then not actually going through with it. If anyone thinks that Putin stopped him, blah blah. That's all a show.

Funny to see how everything in this country is bought and paid for and the Blue/Red theatre. The strings are being pulled from somewhere else and the grand scheme is huge. Just wait to see how thing unravel. The wealth of our nation is being robbed while we watch this pony show.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:29 | 4204615 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

You didn't build that... Gulp. I did.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:19 | 4204765 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

"If you want to keep your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance."



Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:35 | 4204807 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

"If you like your error message, you can keep your error message."

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:08 | 4204921 Kelley
Kelley's picture

You probably just heard it wrong.


What Obama really said was, "If I like your insurance you can keep your insurance. If I like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If I don't like you or your insurance - especialy you - I can offer you FEMA insurance. FEMA insurance includes free transportation to your nearest FEMA center where we will take care of you and yours. Do you have any gold teeth? Period, Exclamation point."

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:08 | 4204922 Kelley
Kelley's picture

You probably just heard it wrong.


What Obama really said was, "If I like your insurance you can keep your insurance. If I like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If I don't like you or your insurance - especialy you - I can offer you FEMA insurance. FEMA insurance includes free transportation to your nearest FEMA center where we will take care of you and yours. Do you have any gold teeth? Period, Exclamation point."

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:14 | 4204749 negative rates
negative rates's picture

All the world is a stage, and most of you are desperately under rehearsed.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:54 | 4204865 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

Bush's fault

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 23:07 | 4205355 NIHILIST CIPHER

Only teevees tuned in to CNN are at the airport............can't believe they are still on the air. Don't give a rat's arse about Zerocare website either ....... yawn.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:14 | 4204751 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Not only didn't they get their war in Syria, they're not getting their war in Iran. War to those fuckers is like air to us - essential for life. They are pissed off, and look for them to back American exceptional ism war candidates in 2014.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:03 | 4204896 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

The obvious question here is:  If you can't get a basic website right, why would anyone want you to manage an entire healthcare system?

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 03:46 | 4205834 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

"Basic website?!?" Are you kidding me? This thing is, like, totally revolutionary, Man. I mean, its got user names. And secret passwords and shit. And, ooh, ooh, like backend stuff like links to 'databases' (pretty '1337', eh?) and all kinds of cool new stuff.

Never been done before, at least as far as I know. So give 'em a chance. I'm sure they'll get it all worked out by, oh, say, 1997 or thereabouts.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 22:50 | 4205304 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

They have not turned. They will do this over and over. Each time it fails they will find an

excuse. They hate you and me and their hatred will never end.

It is a system of faith that needs a new god everytime the current one dies and nothing more.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 06:04 | 4205946 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

re: "The wealth of our nation is being robbed while we watch this pony show."

And guess what, it ain't no Muslim/s that's doing the robbing.



Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:17 | 4204950 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

"Don't really care b/c not signing up for ObummerCare anyway."


I will not comply, I will not obey either brother...

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:59 | 4205125 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Wait, how many brothers are there?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 22:53 | 4205312 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Until they garnish your income, then you will. These fuckers are scum.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 00:12 | 4205574 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture


Mon, 12/02/2013 - 10:18 | 4206260 Estrella
Estrella's picture

TomGa, your comment "Don't really care b/c not signing up for ObummerCare anyway." is fine, for now. Soon. you will not have a choice. You will be enrolled whether you like it or not. You will be billed, and your assets seized, whether you like it or not. This is not the end of the journey, this is just a step along the way.


Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:07 | 4204541 Trimmed Hedge
Trimmed Hedge's picture

CNN was just doing it wrong...

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:10 | 4204553 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

So you have to do what?

Wear war paint, hop on one leg, and chant Ooooombamacare?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:20 | 4204579 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

lets be honest, CNN couldnt find their @ss with both hands and using them to judge if something working or not is not a good idea.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:56 | 4205113 Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

Maybe CNN is racist too now.  Yeah, that's it.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 22:54 | 4205318 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Finding asses is the only thing CNN is great at. Asses are what the men do at CNN, the girls really do not matter.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 00:48 | 4205635 Doubleth1nker
Doubleth1nker's picture

CNN is just reflective of the broader population, they are dumber than bricks.  If they can't enroll, neither can most everyone else.  Which speaks to the notion that its only the unhealthy, formerly un-insurable people with pre-existing conditions who are going to the trouble of navigating this trainwreck of a website to actually get coverage.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:23 | 4204587 knukles
knukles's picture

You didn't overwhelm that website yourself.


PS.  If I had a website it'd respond like Trayvon.

Booyah, Motherfuckers!

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:56 | 4204691 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

And if you like your state, you can keep your state.

Unless of course you are South Carolina. Then you can secede.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:17 | 4204753 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

You Betcha we're going to secede.....Forget? Hell No!

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 23:29 | 4205451 sethstorm
sethstorm's picture

Apparently you forgot about what William T. Sherman did that only ended in South "we sell out our constitutents in favor of foreign countries!" Carolina.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:03 | 4204719 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Have no fear, the Navigators are here.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:59 | 4204878 knukles
knukles's picture

Ford oughta sue them for tarnishing the Brand Name.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:07 | 4204542 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Couldn't happen to a nicer set of apparatchiks.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:09 | 4204549 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture


Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:10 | 4204558 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

that reminds of the time Microsoft was launching Windows ME, I believe, as a live event and Bill Gates tried to power up the laptop but it crashed.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:20 | 4204582 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Obamacare:  the Windows ME of health exchanges.  Yeah, that sounds about right.  Not to worry, though, they're migrating to Vista shortly.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 01:32 | 4205700 malek
malek's picture

it was Windows 98

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 05:01 | 4205904 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Sort of funny because it turned out to be a pretty good OS considering the era. XP was obviously the best one so far, but 98 wasn't bad considering the alternatives out there. Linux wasn't bad then, but it was not as useable as it is now.

Tue, 12/03/2013 - 01:08 | 4209083 malek
malek's picture

IMO Windows 2000 was the best one, much less bloated than XP.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 09:21 | 4206144 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

And Steve Jobs at the presentation with his hand on the external antenna of the latest and greatest i-thingy.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:15 | 4204566 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

LOL 2017. This guy hasn't understood that the more time goes by, the more likely the ponzi scheme has a chance to crash... see : communism... if your BS had ``worked`` at the beginning, it could have had (maybe) a few years of ``looking good``... like a normal ponzi scheme... but this won't even get the chance to look good a week...

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:25 | 4204591 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I hope you're right.  I really do.  Unfotunately, this one you can't walk away from and lick your wounds.  It's going NOWHERE for at least the next 3 years.  Plenty of time for the sheep to grow accustomed to being told they're actually eating filet mignon even though it's being spooned it out of a can labeled "dog food".


Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:25 | 4204605 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

It's not going nowhere but it'll put a huge burden on state and federal budgets... it'll bankrupt states faster/make huge cuts in other state spending... 2014 will be quite eventful...

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:35 | 4204633 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Nah, it'll take longer than that.  All the medicaid expansion is 100% funded by the federal government in 2014 (backed by Ben's printing press).  For the states, right now, it's close to a wash.  And the fewer people who sign up, the less the load on the entire Obamacare apparatus.  They might almost break even on the non-Medicaid stuff with all the people just paying the (modest) fine next year, plus all the taxes that are baked into the new Obamacare-compliant policies.

Where this thing is going to blow big is towards the end of 2014 when the corporate health care plans need to be compliant.  An event they can't stop unless they push it back again within the next month or two (company-sponsored health care is done well in advance of the next caledar year).  They'll try to push this one off, probably move the employer mandate back another year, but it won't matter.  Most of those plans are going to change at the end of 2014, one way or another.  They'll just do everything they can to make that news hit one day after the 2014 elections, not before.  Probably make it illegal to even talk about before the elections, at the rate they're going.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:40 | 4204646 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

The elections where the same bastards keep the same seats again? I don't think the elections matter one bit anymore (not that they ever did, but now they hold an even more special insignificance). This is the last round of duct tape before the ramp falls apart. You're totally right about the attempt at another one year delay next year. They will definitely not be ready next year and will postpone again, to the collective ruin.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:50 | 4204855 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

The elections DO matter.  Not because either side is going to do anything radically different (they all LOVE their power and Obamacare increases it geometrically).  But don't discount the number of people invested in the Red vs. Blue game.  Neither side may care much about the country, but they sure as shit care about themselves and holding onto their power.  If one side becomes "desperate" over this Obamacare disaster you'll see all manner or errant nonsense undertaken to try to retain their power.  The more desperate, the crazier it will get.  And that WILL affect us down here on the ground floor.  Renewed "gun control" debate, "immigration reform" and, of course, the 'big daddy'... a war somewhere to distract and rally people around the flag (usually good for the party in power).

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 04:11 | 4205846 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

You know ... I once thought like you. Many years ago. To wit: Maybe these individuals care about being Senators or Congressman (or whatever) more than they care about being Republicans or Democrats, and might actually listen to and do what their constituents want.

I no longer think that way. First, there is a very, very good chance they'll get reelected no matter how they vote. (The only exceptions I can think of, in fact, are just a few picked off by the Tea Party, who have been steadily and inexorably demonized.) Second, they know that if they lose an election, they'll end up in a cushy job (lobbiest, think tank, Coastal Commission gig, Democrat Party 'organizer', etc.) in return for their loyalty.

I envy your optimism and belief that things might improve in the future and ask your forgiveness for raining on your parade.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:15 | 4204570 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

CNN licking Barry's hoop again - oh big surprise!!!!

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:16 | 4204571 gafgroocK
gafgroocK's picture



but, but, but,but..Obama and his minions are! 

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 09:40 | 4206169 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Hence the problem with surrounding yourself with academia intellects.  No one in his administration has actually worked for a living in the private sector.

Their minds are full of theoretical dreams of utopian systems and operations.  Problem is, this doesn't work so smoothly in the real world.

They have this wonderful dream of making this stellar website where everything thing is so futuristic and accessible.  They fail to realize the largest demographic who would be using this don't have the computers and internet access us 5%-ers do.  Operationally, this administration and those tasked with developing this healthcare system are completely incapable.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:24 | 4204590 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

: I'm about to take off for with a huge business delegation - helping us win GlobalRace"

Then you got Kerry going to China this week too...

While China is doing this... Obama and Cameron being two giant pussies.

China sends planes over new air defense zone off its eastern coast for a second day

Ukraine might be about go to hot...

BIG: Fmr generals of SBU (Ukraine's FSB) condemn police crackdown in Kyiv as "high treason", demand those behind "shameful act" face justice

Ukraine's military is keeping low profile during the crisis; rumors swirling 13th Corps is talking to opposition, but that's just a rumor.

Euronews cameraman attacked by Ukrainian riot police

And it won't be long before Obama and the EU shills criticize the Ukrainian government as being fascists, but if protesters in the WH were entering the WH or on the verge, the snipers would start killing folks en masse and the tanks would come out... fucking bunch of hypocrites all of them.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:30 | 4204621 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Can you so "do over" ??? Budget director, order up another $600 million, cause you know, Apache ain't free...

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:30 | 4204625 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

You did'nt Pirate that software. 

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:31 | 4204628 Duc888
Duc888's picture

Obama: "You didn't build that"




Damned right motherfukker.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:36 | 4204640 Duc888
Duc888's picture

ZHsnob:  "that reminds of the time Microsoft was launching Windows ME, I believe, as a live event and Bill Gates tried to power up the laptop but it crashed."


The really funny Microsuck bust out was when they tried running NT on the Aegis warship.   Fucking hilarious.  I'll see you one surface to surface missile and raise you one BSOD bitchez.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:14 | 4204658 treasurefish
treasurefish's picture

The US Govt. does nothing by mistake. You all have too much confidence in their values, morals, and utter incompetence. No, The PTB have it all planned out - this has to be failure by design. Whatever their endstate is, only time will tell, but I guarantee it'll be 1000x worse than Obamacare and a trillion times worse than anyone could ever imagine right now. In other words, whatever the prescribed medicine is for Obamacare will be many times worse than this bureaucratic disease itself. Nothing the US Govt. does should ever surprise anyone any more.

US Govt. Modus Operandi: Small Problem = Big Solution, Big Problem = Loss of Rights, Freedom, and Life.

Just look at how the FED and IRS Acts of 1913 turned out 100 years later. Where will we be in the next 100 years with this BIG Corporation / Government health (life) intrusion Act?

The sheep will be in the slaughterhouse, and they will patiently stand in line for their children's turn at the knife in the name of Climate Change or whatever.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:16 | 4204755 aardvarkk
aardvarkk's picture

I suspect you have it backwards.  I think this whole giant clusterf*ck is by mistake.  Everything that has happened since O took office would have happened the EXACT same way if, for example, you had a clueless newbie with some charisma take the helm of one of the most successful governments on the planet (or at least the government of one of the most successful countries) and then continued to be a clueless newbie.  With LOTS of self-love and very little knowledge of how to run ANYTHING.

This is what the ship of state looks like when it goes rudderless for 5 freaking years.  There's no need to posit an evil conspiracy.  Oh, there probably are a few, but probably not worse than before and definitely lower-level.  But what we're seeing is much, much, MUCH worse than before as far as effects.  Even the clowniest clowns of the Bush and Clinton administrations (I'm looking at YOU, "brownie" and Rove and Stephanopolous and Carville) couldn't touch the level of artistic incompetence on display here.  It will be a case study in Government, Poli Sci, Public Relations and assorted other college courses in the future.

The horror has worn off for me, and now it's gotten to be kind of fun to wake up in the morning, shower and brush my teeth, and then log in to news sites and get my comedy fix over breakfast before heading off to work.  Until work disappears because of the tanking economy, anyway.

But I have seen nothing since O took the reins that makes me believe either he or anybody associated with him has the ability to pull of a truly effective, evil conspiracy.  That would take brains, and none are in evidence.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:12 | 4204868 treasurefish
treasurefish's picture

I'm not trying to go tit for tat with you, but I feel compelled to vociferously disagree with you. Bush and Clinton were clowns, yes, but if it wasn't for Clinton, then the banks would not have gotten their algos to be so piranha-like after he dissolved the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933 in order to achieve "the dream of homeownership for every American" (bullshit). Without Bush (the Junior dolt), the military-industrial complex (that Ike, Kennedy, and Henry Ford warned about) would never have been able to expand the US Debt as far as they have (beyond any money-changer's wildest dreams).

Obama is a puppet. He is lost without the teleprompter.

If you are so smart, please explain to me who is writing what is displayed on the teleprompt, and why can't he speak without it? You think that Obama writes this stuff? No way. Who is the puppet-master? Who is behind the curtain?

Obama is a paid actor. He is clearly not a natural leader of men.

Ignore the man behind the teleprompter you say. Keynes is saving America, and the people all say: Amen!

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:23 | 4204970 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

'Raising the debt ceiling (which has been done over a hundred times) does NOT raise the debt.'

Which Federal Reserve Kensyan wrote THAT one for the Kenyan?

'If you like your doctor' (heh heh heh!) 'you can KEEP your doctor. Period.' (Snicker, chortle, belly-laugh)

Which Mafia Don at WHAT insurance company wrote THAT one for the Kenyan-in-chief?

'Oh, it's all just a 'failure of imagination', combined with 'ineptitude' that is driving this nation in to the ground. YEAH, RIGHT!


Sun, 12/01/2013 - 23:34 | 4205464 aardvarkk
aardvarkk's picture

Hey, I'm NOT so smart.  I *know* I have no business running the country.  But some things just don't take that many smarts to know they're stupid.

At least awareness eventually dawned on Clinton that "hey, you know, maybe triangulation is the only way to get some of what I want."  He wheeled and dealed, and got some and gave some.  And There was plenty dumb about Bush, but he gave the Dems stuff they wanted and got a freer hand in his military adventures.  His foreign policy, which could fairly be characterized as evil, at least had things like objectives.  Secure oil supplies, appease people who can hurt your efforts, kill enemies, etc.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what objectives are being sought by the current clown crew.  Can you name any?  I can.  They put NASA in charge of Muslim outreach.  Now THAT is not evil.  It's not clever.  It's nearly the definition of stupidity.  Obama's a puppet or whatever, fine, but I'm not even attacking the man per se, I'm attacking whoever made the decision that Muslim outreach and NASA are concepts that should coinhabit the same field of thought.  Or whoever caused the giant nothing (apparently, at least for today) in Syria.  Or whoever it was that, nearly right after the first inauguration thought it was the height of clever symbolism to hand a giant red button to the Russians and tell them to push it.  Seriously?  Americans will be comforted by the image of our president's top representative to foreign governments handing a giant red button to the ones who had (and probably still have) their fingers over a button connected to their nuclear arsenal?

All that said, I'm not going tit for tat or trying to one-up anybody.  I'm just saying that I haven't yet seen anything to make me believe that there is anyone calling the shots with two functioning synapses to rub together.  They're JUST.  FREAKING.  STUPID.  It's either that, or whoever it is is so much smarter than me that I just am incapable of divining their wonderfulness.  But until someone shows me something smart that they have done I'm going with the stupidity explanation.  Occam's Razor is the way to go on this one, I fear.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 04:05 | 4205850 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

You know ... the preceding several posts bring up an interesting question:

Stupid or evil?

I've thought a lot about this over a couple decades, and have finally concluded evil.


Simple. I just can't believe that anyone could be that stupid (much less, for example, 'the greatest deliberative body on Earth' [viz., the United States Senate]).

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:05 | 4204904 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Re; The horror has worn off for me, and now it's gotten to be kind of fun to wake up in the morning, shower and brush my teeth, and then log in to news sites and get my comedy fix.

The horror that is the ACA has yet to even begin.

What little control you may believe you have over your life has been abdicated to .gov


Mon, 12/02/2013 - 01:37 | 4205710 malek
malek's picture

you might want to research the general concept of "Plausible deniability" and then reconsider your view

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:48 | 4205009 treasurefish
treasurefish's picture

There is now, new Hope for Change after the new Change.



Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:49 | 4204670 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"I think it's just a fact, and it may take until 2017 when this president leaves office, you're going to see almost every state in this country running their own exchanges eventually and expanding Medicaid. And I think it'll work really well, then."

There are simply no words.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:00 | 4204712 sgorem
sgorem's picture

"expanding Medicaid".............+100

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:48 | 4205074 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Backdoor singlepayer.

"Daddy, did you get the .gov website fixed yet? People are saying mean things about you ya know."

"Not yet dear. Not yet."

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:35 | 4204804 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I don't give a shit what we do,

  as long as it involves sterilizing the morons.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:52 | 4204860 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

There will be a line out the door if you offer 'em a new iPad and $500.  THAT would be a government program I'd support!

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 22:13 | 4205181 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Sterilize the self replicating useful idiots?

But, where would we get more idiots?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:55 | 4204870 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"There are simply no words."

I got one: WINNING!  

This is the ultimate win for a DC politician.  The government's power (and therefore their own) is expanded geometrically and all they have to do is fight over who controls it.  Red this election, Blue the next, but they all get a turn spinning the big wheel eventually.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:52 | 4204683 stant
stant's picture

well the space shuttle was a airframe with a 40% failure rate. did you expect this gov program to do any better?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:57 | 4204696 novictim
novictim's picture

This is what you get when you sell off Government functions to the private sector.

Reap what you sow, Bitchez.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:57 | 4204876 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Have you suffered a minor stroke recently?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:05 | 4204907 mumcard
mumcard's picture

He tapped one of his cronies, there was no bidding allowed/considered.  That's not really bringing the private sector into it.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:31 | 4205011 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


I didn't downarrow you. You are close...

Facism is the perfect marriage of the Corporations and the State, according to some (like Mussolini).

What we have here is more like inbred cousins trying to make a baby. That's one UGLY little child! Wait 'till it grows up a little...and becomes president...

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 19:58 | 4204697 robochess
robochess's picture

It's a government program. OF COURSE IT'S WORKING LIKE ANY OTHER GOVT PROGRAM. And yes, OBAMA DID BUILD THAT. Fucking Marxist loser.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:01 | 4204709 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

why is building an insecure, hack-prone, NSA/FBI/CIA wire-tapped web-site such a hassle?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:02 | 4204711 Keyser
Keyser's picture

That giant sucking sound you hear is your future healthcare and taxpayer $$$ swirling around the porcelain convenience, on it's way to the sewage treatment plant. 

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:04 | 4204721 sgorem
sgorem's picture

i was going to say something, but i believe you guys have covered all the bases here, thanks, and keep up the good work.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:09 | 4204735 STG5IVE
STG5IVE's picture

Tap the monitor, see if that helps.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 23:48 | 4205506 spankfish
spankfish's picture

Wrong fix, everybody knows you pick the keyboard up 3" and drop it.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 11:46 | 4206504 SystemOfaDrown
SystemOfaDrown's picture

Hello STG5IVE we have isolated fault between PC keyboard and desk chair.
Closing trouble ticket report back to you.

Tech Support

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:09 | 4204739 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

I know there's all kinds of software glitches to be finished to include the fact that Oracle already had to bring in one of their own servers, and I predicted that after a week of the system failing.  But what gets me is over on the hardware side, don't government agencies work together?  Reason for asking is that DOE could really help this situation out, unless of course they want to remain "divorced" from HHS:)  They have the Sequoia Data Center which goes back and forth between the #1 and #2, or even #3 fastest computer in the world, do we not think this project is important enough to be hosted there?  HHS already has other projects hosted there for goodness sakes!

How in the hell can you get any better than to be hosted on one of the fastest systems in the world at the DOE?  Again, can't HHS, DOE and CMS help each other here? 

They are still stupid for trying to write this from the bottom up with too much open source code that didn't have enough integration software built as well as enough libraries with using the MarkLogic data base.  Not only that but they lied that the code was done.  Tech folks knew that was coming.

And now we have Novitas, a subsidiary of a subsidiary of Blue Cross (yes you read that correctly) going to have to build the 834 transaction portion.  With QSSI, the subsidiary of United Healthcare in control looks like this has become and insurer's game has it not (grin). 

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:20 | 4204957 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

What you just posted is all pops and buzzes to me, Greek if you will. 

That said, Yeah, why the fuck don't they work together? That would mean extra thinking and (GASP) a more streamlined/efficient process. 

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:40 | 4204821 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I have free healthcare. Now I have to worry about the death panel.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 20:58 | 4204879 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture



CNN: You know, CNBC has ad time pimping how to advance a buggy website. Choose your website design, publish in seconds.  They’re getting paid to make Obamacare first rate.

CNN: But how can we data mine every customer who visits?  

Voice: Easy, the above link is a google paid advertisement . Just create a fake account, tell them you want to offer a 2% reduction to what CNBC is offering for advertising space. You cannot track, it’s a DNS Ponzi scheme reselling new customer information.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:04 | 4204886 yogibear
yogibear's picture

More money into the Obamacare black hole to enrich his friends. It's Dec 1st! Ding, ding, ding...

Overseas hackers need to break  into the Obamacare website and make it more of a joke.

The liberal media is showing it's true color.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:08 | 4204920 bigrooster
bigrooster's picture

Fuck that white socialist POS!

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:13 | 4204937 Kelley
Kelley's picture

O Mr. Plouffe, your lying has become even more brazen.

BTW, brazen lying is a clue that the elections will be rigged. They fear saying nothing, no matter how ridiculous, because the elections are wired. 

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:26 | 4204983 novictim
novictim's picture

I have analyzed ZH and have determined that the entire audience is on the order of 39 you all can cram onto one bus is a minor miracle.  You'd think that some of you would get potty on each other or pull each others hair.


Does the staff threaten you all with no dessert or do they give you extra medications before the ride back to the institution?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:38 | 4205030 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Well, now, that's sure apropo!

looking for the 'sarc' tag, and finding none, i can now say this with a clear conscience and a smile on my face:


Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:52 | 4205100 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

The absolutely funniest thing about this whole Obamacare Website thing is that it is sheer propaganda.

Now I don't know if they planned the Website debacle or not, but in the spirit of "don't let a good crisis go to waste," they have subtly made the best of it. Anyone that has been watching this thing around the Web and on propaganda media especially, has got to marvel at how they have shifted the focus of the sheeple and even many here at ZH. They have p0eople focused on the Website and its condition and not the egregiousness and treason of it all. Let me be clear, if the law/dictate is Unconstitutional, then the Website doesn't' matter.

Imagine a new law/dictate requiring gun registration. Imagine that they set up a "convenient" Website for us to use. If the Website didn't work, would you give a shit? It might be humorous, but would that really be your main concern? No! The law/dictate would be Unconstitutional, Website or no Website, and you would be incensed at the very thought of it all.

They did the same thing with "Fast and Furious." They allowed weapons to be sold in ways inviolate of their own Unconstitutional laws/dictates(...shall not be infringed.). They then spun it in the propaganda media with the phrase, "illegal gun sales." Sorry, folks, there is no such thing on the federal level. I was surprised how many Liberty and freedom lovers fell for this.

Don't let them into your mind folks.

“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. ”? George Orwell


Sun, 12/01/2013 - 21:53 | 4205104 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

@novictim, just out of curiosity, what do you get paid to defend such an indefensible POS like the ACA is?

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 23:11 | 4205383 PoliticalRefuge...
PoliticalRefugeefromCalif.'s picture

haha.. looks like Rush in blackface. (maybe Rush Roker)

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 23:13 | 4205386 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

It doesn't work better than it didn't used to!

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 00:51 | 4205642 Doubleth1nker
Doubleth1nker's picture

Considering how close we are to the open enrollement period closing, 50,000 simultaneous users is not going to cut it.  I wouldn't be surprised if the website goes down and stays down all the way until January 1st because of people trying load the site to determine if they're going to get coverage or just pay the penalty.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 03:45 | 4205832 Comrade de Chaos
Comrade de Chaos's picture

Got this today in the mail - 

"Effective March 1 st, your existing non-grandfathered Small Employer plans and policies will b ereplaced with the new plans that meet ACA requirements. You remployer has been provided with information on these new plants."


Kind of liked my insurance because it covered only what I wanted it to cover and was given at no cost to me ...  And it wasn't bad, an HMO plan , that covered hospitals and emergecnies while not covering prescriptions, which I doubt I'll need in the next 20 years.  So now, I will either have to pay large co-payments or 'shop' (enjoy deny of service, BS)  at 

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 09:22 | 4206145 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

"Kind of liked my insurance"... Lol, Big Bro will tell you what to like... and you will like it... Soon as they fix it....Again.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 06:07 | 4205950 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Guess what...I'm still not going to to see for myself if it works or not.

Nice try.

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 08:42 | 4206084 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Doh, better call in the real Fixer... Timmy where are you?

Mon, 12/02/2013 - 09:57 | 4206205 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

Can't wait to see what happens after you buy the plan and want to see a doctor.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!