CNN Tests "Fixed" Obamacare Website And... It Crashes

Tyler Durden's picture

 'If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.'

       -  P.J. O'Rourke

If CNN was doing its best this morning to prove that the second coming of is fixed, it... failed.


GEORGE HOWELL, HOST: We know the first thing you have to do when you go to this website you have to select your state. Is that working?


ALISON KOSIK, CNN BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT: And what's funny is I was talking with Matt, and, yeah, that seemed to work, right, when you logged on. But then came the road blocks. So tell me about what happened, because we're getting another error message here, and it's supposed to be running smoothly. We’re just not seeing that.


MATT SLOANE, CNN MEDICAL PRODUCER: Yeah, so, you know, we've been trying to get into the site since October 1 on and off again. I have to say it did work a lot more smoothly this morning. I got through. I picked my state. I put in all of my information and I got through the whole process in eight minutes. And then it said my status was in progress. So I went to refresh it and I got the error message.

But fear not. According to David Plouffe, 2008 campaign manager for Barack Obama, Obamacare "will work reall well"... by 2017. To wit:

This program was designed to be implemented by the states. And in most of the states it is going quite well. You talked about Medicaid expansion. I think it's just a fact, and it may take until 2017 when this president leaves office, you're going to see almost every state in this country running their own exchanges eventually and expanding Medicaid. And I think it'll work really well, then.

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TomGa's picture

Don't really care b/c not signing up for ObummerCare anyway.

EatYourCornTakeyourPill's picture

I find it interesting that Obama's media buddies have turned on him. I guess TPTB really wanted the war in Syria that he didn't do. Now they are setting up the Democrats for a huge defeat at the next Midterm elections so that they can do whatever they want without him. As much as I dislike the guy, props to him for actually pretending to be interested in going to war but then not actually going through with it. If anyone thinks that Putin stopped him, blah blah. That's all a show.

Funny to see how everything in this country is bought and paid for and the Blue/Red theatre. The strings are being pulled from somewhere else and the grand scheme is huge. Just wait to see how thing unravel. The wealth of our nation is being robbed while we watch this pony show.

Occident Mortal's picture

You didn't build that... Gulp. I did.

CheapBastard's picture

"If you want to keep your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance."



TheRideNeverEnds's picture

"If you like your error message, you can keep your error message."

Kelley's picture

You probably just heard it wrong.


What Obama really said was, "If I like your insurance you can keep your insurance. If I like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If I don't like you or your insurance - especialy you - I can offer you FEMA insurance. FEMA insurance includes free transportation to your nearest FEMA center where we will take care of you and yours. Do you have any gold teeth? Period, Exclamation point."

Kelley's picture

You probably just heard it wrong.


What Obama really said was, "If I like your insurance you can keep your insurance. If I like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If I don't like you or your insurance - especialy you - I can offer you FEMA insurance. FEMA insurance includes free transportation to your nearest FEMA center where we will take care of you and yours. Do you have any gold teeth? Period, Exclamation point."


Only teevees tuned in to CNN are at the airport............can't believe they are still on the air. Don't give a rat's arse about Zerocare website either ....... yawn.

Wahooo's picture

Not only didn't they get their war in Syria, they're not getting their war in Iran. War to those fuckers is like air to us - essential for life. They are pissed off, and look for them to back American exceptional ism war candidates in 2014.

Henry Chinaski's picture

The obvious question here is:  If you can't get a basic website right, why would anyone want you to manage an entire healthcare system?

MisterMousePotato's picture

"Basic website?!?" Are you kidding me? This thing is, like, totally revolutionary, Man. I mean, its got user names. And secret passwords and shit. And, ooh, ooh, like backend stuff like links to 'databases' (pretty '1337', eh?) and all kinds of cool new stuff.

Never been done before, at least as far as I know. So give 'em a chance. I'm sure they'll get it all worked out by, oh, say, 1997 or thereabouts.

fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

They have not turned. They will do this over and over. Each time it fails they will find an

excuse. They hate you and me and their hatred will never end.

It is a system of faith that needs a new god everytime the current one dies and nothing more.

Disenchanted's picture

re: "The wealth of our nation is being robbed while we watch this pony show."

And guess what, it ain't no Muslim/s that's doing the robbing.



Crash Overide's picture

"Don't really care b/c not signing up for ObummerCare anyway."


I will not comply, I will not obey either brother...

JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Wait, how many brothers are there?

fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Until they garnish your income, then you will. These fuckers are scum.

Estrella's picture

TomGa, your comment "Don't really care b/c not signing up for ObummerCare anyway." is fine, for now. Soon. you will not have a choice. You will be enrolled whether you like it or not. You will be billed, and your assets seized, whether you like it or not. This is not the end of the journey, this is just a step along the way.


Trimmed Hedge's picture

CNN was just doing it wrong...

kaiserhoff's picture

So you have to do what?

Wear war paint, hop on one leg, and chant Ooooombamacare?

Dr. No's picture

lets be honest, CNN couldnt find their @ss with both hands and using them to judge if something working or not is not a good idea.

Shad_ow's picture

Maybe CNN is racist too now.  Yeah, that's it.

fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Finding asses is the only thing CNN is great at. Asses are what the men do at CNN, the girls really do not matter.

Doubleth1nker's picture

CNN is just reflective of the broader population, they are dumber than bricks.  If they can't enroll, neither can most everyone else.  Which speaks to the notion that its only the unhealthy, formerly un-insurable people with pre-existing conditions who are going to the trouble of navigating this trainwreck of a website to actually get coverage.

knukles's picture

You didn't overwhelm that website yourself.


PS.  If I had a website it'd respond like Trayvon.

Booyah, Motherfuckers!

Bay of Pigs's picture

And if you like your state, you can keep your state.

Unless of course you are South Carolina. Then you can secede.

DarthVaderMentor's picture

You Betcha we're going to secede.....Forget? Hell No!

sethstorm's picture

Apparently you forgot about what William T. Sherman did that only ended in South "we sell out our constitutents in favor of foreign countries!" Carolina.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Have no fear, the Navigators are here.

knukles's picture

Ford oughta sue them for tarnishing the Brand Name.

kaiserhoff's picture

Couldn't happen to a nicer set of apparatchiks.

ZH Snob's picture

that reminds of the time Microsoft was launching Windows ME, I believe, as a live event and Bill Gates tried to power up the laptop but it crashed.

NoDebt's picture

Obamacare:  the Windows ME of health exchanges.  Yeah, that sounds about right.  Not to worry, though, they're migrating to Vista shortly.

NidStyles's picture

Sort of funny because it turned out to be a pretty good OS considering the era. XP was obviously the best one so far, but 98 wasn't bad considering the alternatives out there. Linux wasn't bad then, but it was not as useable as it is now.

malek's picture

IMO Windows 2000 was the best one, much less bloated than XP.

ThisIsBob's picture

And Steve Jobs at the presentation with his hand on the external antenna of the latest and greatest i-thingy.

lolmao500's picture

LOL 2017. This guy hasn't understood that the more time goes by, the more likely the ponzi scheme has a chance to crash... see : communism... if your BS had ``worked`` at the beginning, it could have had (maybe) a few years of ``looking good``... like a normal ponzi scheme... but this won't even get the chance to look good a week...

NoDebt's picture

I hope you're right.  I really do.  Unfotunately, this one you can't walk away from and lick your wounds.  It's going NOWHERE for at least the next 3 years.  Plenty of time for the sheep to grow accustomed to being told they're actually eating filet mignon even though it's being spooned it out of a can labeled "dog food".


lolmao500's picture

It's not going nowhere but it'll put a huge burden on state and federal budgets... it'll bankrupt states faster/make huge cuts in other state spending... 2014 will be quite eventful...

NoDebt's picture

Nah, it'll take longer than that.  All the medicaid expansion is 100% funded by the federal government in 2014 (backed by Ben's printing press).  For the states, right now, it's close to a wash.  And the fewer people who sign up, the less the load on the entire Obamacare apparatus.  They might almost break even on the non-Medicaid stuff with all the people just paying the (modest) fine next year, plus all the taxes that are baked into the new Obamacare-compliant policies.

Where this thing is going to blow big is towards the end of 2014 when the corporate health care plans need to be compliant.  An event they can't stop unless they push it back again within the next month or two (company-sponsored health care is done well in advance of the next caledar year).  They'll try to push this one off, probably move the employer mandate back another year, but it won't matter.  Most of those plans are going to change at the end of 2014, one way or another.  They'll just do everything they can to make that news hit one day after the 2014 elections, not before.  Probably make it illegal to even talk about before the elections, at the rate they're going.

Skateboarder's picture

The elections where the same bastards keep the same seats again? I don't think the elections matter one bit anymore (not that they ever did, but now they hold an even more special insignificance). This is the last round of duct tape before the ramp falls apart. You're totally right about the attempt at another one year delay next year. They will definitely not be ready next year and will postpone again, to the collective ruin.

NoDebt's picture

The elections DO matter.  Not because either side is going to do anything radically different (they all LOVE their power and Obamacare increases it geometrically).  But don't discount the number of people invested in the Red vs. Blue game.  Neither side may care much about the country, but they sure as shit care about themselves and holding onto their power.  If one side becomes "desperate" over this Obamacare disaster you'll see all manner or errant nonsense undertaken to try to retain their power.  The more desperate, the crazier it will get.  And that WILL affect us down here on the ground floor.  Renewed "gun control" debate, "immigration reform" and, of course, the 'big daddy'... a war somewhere to distract and rally people around the flag (usually good for the party in power).

MisterMousePotato's picture

You know ... I once thought like you. Many years ago. To wit: Maybe these individuals care about being Senators or Congressman (or whatever) more than they care about being Republicans or Democrats, and might actually listen to and do what their constituents want.

I no longer think that way. First, there is a very, very good chance they'll get reelected no matter how they vote. (The only exceptions I can think of, in fact, are just a few picked off by the Tea Party, who have been steadily and inexorably demonized.) Second, they know that if they lose an election, they'll end up in a cushy job (lobbiest, think tank, Coastal Commission gig, Democrat Party 'organizer', etc.) in return for their loyalty.

I envy your optimism and belief that things might improve in the future and ask your forgiveness for raining on your parade.

orangegeek's picture

CNN licking Barry's hoop again - oh big surprise!!!!

Murf_DaSurf's picture



but, but, but,but..Obama and his minions are! 

Zymurguy's picture

Hence the problem with surrounding yourself with academia intellects.  No one in his administration has actually worked for a living in the private sector.

Their minds are full of theoretical dreams of utopian systems and operations.  Problem is, this doesn't work so smoothly in the real world.

They have this wonderful dream of making this stellar website where everything thing is so futuristic and accessible.  They fail to realize the largest demographic who would be using this don't have the computers and internet access us 5%-ers do.  Operationally, this administration and those tasked with developing this healthcare system are completely incapable.

lolmao500's picture

: I'm about to take off for with a huge business delegation - helping us win GlobalRace"

Then you got Kerry going to China this week too...

While China is doing this... Obama and Cameron being two giant pussies.

China sends planes over new air defense zone off its eastern coast for a second day

Ukraine might be about go to hot...

BIG: Fmr generals of SBU (Ukraine's FSB) condemn police crackdown in Kyiv as "high treason", demand those behind "shameful act" face justice

Ukraine's military is keeping low profile during the crisis; rumors swirling 13th Corps is talking to opposition, but that's just a rumor.

Euronews cameraman attacked by Ukrainian riot police

And it won't be long before Obama and the EU shills criticize the Ukrainian government as being fascists, but if protesters in the WH were entering the WH or on the verge, the snipers would start killing folks en masse and the tanks would come out... fucking bunch of hypocrites all of them.