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Jeff Bezos Unveils Amazon PrimeAir - Drone Delivery
While the fundamentals continue to deteriorate, we are sure the idea of drone-based delivery (which fits with the 7500 drones the FAA expects within the next few years) will add a few multiple points to Amazon's share price valuation. On a side note, with increasing awareness of the government's surveillance, what better way for the NSA to keep an eye on everyone up close and personal (and to get an occasional invoice by the company that has made burning cash from operations into an art form).
The Amazon PrimeAir Drone...
Get a sneak peek of #PrimeAir. Future deliveries in under 30 mins by unmanned aerial vehicles http://t.co/w6kugw4EGt pic.twitter.com/wrx38hdw1o
— Amazon (@amazon) December 2, 2013
In Action...
We suggest not buying fine glassware...
The flying machine already has its own twitter account - @AmazonDrone
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
— Amazon Drone (@AmazonDrone) December 2, 2013
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Great idea and why not? It's how Obamacare will be delivering orders to Old Farts to report to the nearest Soylent Green processing facility in 2018...
Truth is stranger than fiction.
I buy a lot of stuff from Amazon, and very little of it could be carried by a small drone.
It's always a conspiracy theory until it's explicitly proven otherwise. I've always had my suspicions about Amazon, and now I'm that much more suspicious. 18 years and no profits? It all smells if you ask me.
dryam, respectfully I reply:
You see 18 years of Amazon and no profits and are suspicious.
Now I present to you the government of the United States of America with more than 18 years of no profits...
You have to do U.S. government accounting to see the profits. The profit is the massive military. It's too bad those profits are now rapidly depreciating.
One day we might find out that Amazon is just a branch of the CIA/NSA/Homeland Security.
I think I have said this here about 10 times and still only a few people get it. If you are a company that is a friend of the regime/tribe then you stock gets pimped/pumped. By the algos, HFT, QE, Plunge Protection Team, GS, Wall Street, etc.
Look at Overstock.com's stock. They actually make money but the CEO Patrick Byrne is probably not part of the gang.
Suck my fucking dick Amazon.
Reality Check: Quadcopters are notoriously slow and have very limited flight duration. Top speeds for modified craft are around 100kph and durations of 15-20min are possible but at greatly reduced speeds. This does not include payloads of up to 0.5kg.
So, if you live within 20km of an Amazon distribution centre, have no power lines or microwave links within your vicinity or en route, live in a drone-friendly neighbourhood, and don’t mind you kids fingers being surgically reattached after attempting to sign for your $10 delivery, then sweet.
Stinks of marketing bullshit to boost public perception.
I fly Thermal Duration and Cross Country gliders, but if you’re into Quadcopters or better yet, FPV, try this on for size: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5pazsq3Qto
TSP
This sure didn't boost my public perception. I think this is more of a conditioning exercise to get people used to the idea of drones intervening in their daily affairs. The classic example being, you walking out your front porch to get a drone delivery package and eating a hellfire missile instead because of something you posted on ZH.
Sweet! I just ordered 2 HELLFIRE missiles.
I expect them within 45 seconds, intact.
How much is insurance for conbustibles?
Either UPS and FedEx are going to jump on the drone bandwagon, or they're going to lobby to make them illegal.
In the meantime it willl be fun getting some live target practice in!
If these things can deliver "donor" kidneys then that would be sweet!
History repeating itself!!??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBVPG0XLbv0
The scary part is these flights started in the early 1930's !!!!
So perhaps Bezos' announcement is a harbinger of the Greater Depression just ahead!
Amazon == what you read, what you buy
Google == email, what you search for, what you read
Netflix == what you watch
Facebook == who you are friends with or related too. Not on facebook? still not safe. How many pictures of you have already been tagged by your family and friends?
I can't see much use for a drone like this. It's a marketing gimick. The 20 somethings will eat it up though.
How much money will Amazon loose on hijacked and downed drones? How much will the insurance cost to run this service and will Bloomberg allow it in the city?
Can't wait for a red tail to take one of these down over Fifth Ave. It would be epic.
you need to read the filings. amazon makes hell of a profit. if they stop building the fullfillment centers and expanding then you see profit. but then the profit is as useless as money in bank with 0 interest. so it makes sense to keep expanding. if amazon conintues to drive the way they currently do so they will put walmart out of business. the way they are hurting sears, bestbuy, and others. even google or microsucks cant touch them when it comes to various cloud technology.
"hell of a profit"? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you brain damaged?
He's talking about free cash flow, which "investors" would prefer get reported as profit and/or dividends. Instead, as he says, Amazon is pumping all of that cash into infrastructure and (profitable) new businesses like AWS and Kindle.
Bezos is a fucking genius, and always the smartest guy in the room. The fact that he has a seat at the table now, i.e., his recent Bilderberger's induction, may mean that he is humanity's last hope to save us from the reptiles.
Sorry, the Bilderberger induction was a recognition of Bezo's reptilian origins.
He's out to save no one but himself.
AWS is key. Gives Amazon a huge advantage over all the other retailers. It's the hammer that is beating the crap out of them.
Yeh, but they make it up on volume.
they better not send any of those to Deer Trail, Colorado. there's a $100 bounty on every drone.
http://dailycaller.com/2013/07/16/colorado-town-considers-licensing-bounty-hunters-to-shoot-down-drones/
even better, during your next physical the doc will insert under your skin a device that contains every chemical used in medicine
then later, on demand, will simply release whichever chemicals are needed based on your biostats
what could be more convenient
the pharmacy is already inside you, waiting to be deployed
Please, please, please, let there be a shit load of heroin in that chip.
And the charges for drugs received (w/o your consent) will automatically appear on your credit card.
The perfect delivery vehicle for lethal injections...
They'll soon be able to lift more than the current five pounds, then efficiently plop gram and gramps right into the stew.
I can't eat old people, too bitter and stingy, like that "Let them Eat Rand" dude.
More Rand.
I'm more angry and disillusioned and resentful due to a sense of unjust treatment. Oh, right. So you got me on the bitter thing. But you could eat old people. You just chose not to. And as far as eating Rand goes, let's just leave that to Greenspan.
I always thought you were a high protein swallowing kinda of guy.
There is no Rand, there is only Bernanke...
Sure Greenspan once ate gold too, but later threw it up.
And I admit that Rand was as ugly as Yellen is today.
But Rand-land is a daily dream that can never die, where we are all left free to die in the sewer of our choice.
Not saying a sewer is a bad thing, you can learn a hell of a lot in your struggles, if you allow people to.
Step 1: Order something via Prime Air.
Step 2: Pour a nice tall Knob Creek on the rocks
Step 3: Load shotgun.
Step 4: Wait.
LMAO! Way more sporting than shooting skeet.
What did you order from Amazon, Dad?
Five boxes of shotgun shells. Circle of life, son, circle of life.
I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there! :>D
Step 5: ???
Step 6: PROFIT!
So....if I order a drone from Amazon will it be delivered by a drone?
Yo dawg! I heard you like drones so we put a drone in your drone so we could spy on you while we're spying on you.
You can order a drone from Amazon today.
http://www.amazon.com/DJI-Phantom-Quadcopter-Integrated-Camcorder/dp/B00...
Don't believe it will be delivered by a drone .... yet
Can a drone flying on one side of the world cause a hurricane on the other side of the world by way of the Butterfly Effect?
Great idea why not?
Flying uses the highest amount of energy.
What about safety for birds, children?
The birds they care about, the children not so much - unless they are the children of someone "important".
Energy? Wind power. Propellors create wind, thus their own energy; just like QE helps employment.
and a few million UPS/Fedex delivery men just screamed out and went silent.
If it were a UPS union delivery agent, they kicked 50 or so packages with the I-Talian notice "F-R-A-G-I-L-E" written on them and blamed the evil capitalists first....
FRAGILE is Italian for throw hard.
Yeah, now all we need are robotic consumers and we can dispense with people completely.
I'm.......... apparently not kidding.
That's just fucking brilliant. It will also solve that pesky Velocity of $$ problem.
Won't need to worry about the economy either since it'll just be one giant drone clusterfuck -
saweeet....i'd order me 50.... 25 cent widgits and for the price of a 1/8th tank of gas i get a full day of goose hunting right in my backyard without all the plucking.
edit: i might even order a goose on the 49th order to keep the wife happy and a couple boxes of 12 guage shells for the 50th
When your Hellfire absolutely, positively, must be on time.
Fuck that!
Well, why not.
Wal-Mart is "thinking outside of the box" by having its customers deliver online orders.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/28/us-retail-walmart-delivery-idU...
This might work because most of WMT's customers are illegals. The other half of their customer base are also on EBT cards like the illegals. This other half just smokes weed and drinks Colt 45.
"Sure, I'll deliver that 12 pack of condoms, Xanax prescription, 2 lbs. of bacon, 500 rounds of 9mm and .223 ammunition boxes, and the value pack of U.S.D.A. Ribeye's. Sure, be happy to."
As crazy as this sounds, there are Asian cities, such as Seoul, that thrive on 60 minute delivery of just about anything using motorized skooters that can easily weave in and out of gridlocked cars, drive on sidewalks, and anywhere else they need to in order to make the delivery quickly.
It's quite the sight to see them in action.
This, it seems, is a logical next step.
"PULL"
Bam !
Please fly over my house-shotgun bait
And if you are not at home, it will find you and deliver your ass to the AUTHORITIES.
fORWARD SOVIET!
Gimmick
they are jumping on the bandwagon.
there is a high end cake making company in china (i forget the name) that was delivering cakes by drone last year.
Before the drone drops the package off, it will be programmed to perform a photographic sweep of your property. This information will be delivered to the nearest Homeland Security center for evaluation and possible response.
"Looks like Cognitive Dissonance is growing corn and potatoes on his mountain retreat. Send in the SWAT team." - DHS
<Better send in the armored vehicles as well. Looks like he's got a Maine Coon walking patrol.>
Any of your extra corn needs to be shared with the people. They have rights you know.
"We're outraged to find the NSA has been tapping our Prime Air drone video feed" - Jeff Bezos, 2017.
My Maine Coon died in October. He would have been 20 if he had made it to Halloween. He also weighed 20 pounds. He was such a character, friends made a webpage for him. Magnificent animals.
Our Maine Coon has a staff of three. We all work for barfed up fur balls and warm feet when he sleeps on the bed. ;))
I saw the Maine Coon reference above and thought that is what they were discussing.
That is sweet! Dog lover here, but Maine Coons are the best! They are more like a dog! Bailey, the yorkie, much smaller would play and chase and sleep with the big kitty, Sammy. Thanks for the great memories.
Okay back on topic; Yeah, Amazon publicity stunt, YES, also they are pushing the Illegal Immigrant agenda (not in our favor)(I'm legal) and I weening myself from using their services for the last few months. Called, put your money where your mouth is, or voting with your wallet!
Amazon is a giant H-1B abuser apparently.
Google streets has that market sewn up.
Not of the dangerous child clubhouse I have built from my own sweat and blood...
Great stuff! Let's get the damn economic crash over with so people can hope to afford to have tiny helicopters deliver packages to their door.
This is great news. Now we can each have our own Hunger Games sponsors!!
Maybe Bezos is going to start a drone delivery service for the Washinton Post...
I want my (2) dollars... Better Off Dead (1985) - Paperboy - 2 dollars - YouTube
We warned you back then, live with your hope & change discussions.
Ordering Pizza in the Future |2006
These will be used as a lethal attack vehicle. Then they will be outlawed. Imagine that one person could swarm a security detail with these and every one programed to explode on contact. Devastating.
I will be impressed when I can get beer and or pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less.
It won't take long before the Mexican drug cartels use these to drone over the orders from www.phone-a-drone.com from border towns. Then ICE will have jet drones armed with anti-drone missles which can be shot down with SADMs (Surface to Air Drone Missles). Will I lose my money if my pizza gets shot down?
Dominoes already claimed the pizza end. These guys do beer and Mexican:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IQEokO0cro
Should be a target rich environment...
Maybe Amazon is going into the drug dealing business?? When you can't make money baffle them with bullshit. Should work well in cities like New York and Chicago??
Next step after delivering crap is picking stuff up. One day Dog the bounty hunter will be replaced by Manhunter Drones (TM), either autonomous or controlled by psychos to pick up any suspicious terrorist types who grow their own food, refuse to watch teevee, own gold, have iQ over 80, etc.
Haven't bought anything from Amazion since I discovered that they sponsor "charities" that "promote a positive image of Israel" about 8yrs ago. How the fuck these people got charity, tax exempt status for doing what is essentially propaganda work for a hostile foreign country (or for that matter how that can possibly be construed as "charity") is beyond me.
Would you have felt the same way if it was an Islamic charity?
If not, why?
It's not about religion, my disgusting zionist friend. However, I'd feel exactly the same if charitable status was given to promoters of North Korea, Saudi Arabia, or even Scotland - anywhere. To sponsor and promote an abhorrent state like Israel which is conducting the longest military occupation in modern history goes beyond my personal tolerance level.
TPTB hope their crumbling system holds together long enough to deploy botox-sting nanodrones with targeting information provided by NSA algorithms monitoring Zerohedge posts in realtime.
They also hope Silk Road doesn't start a decentralized drone delivery service. Not because people might get their fix quicker, but because the little people could use those drones could deliver many things, and their range is longer than the average driveway in the Hamptons.
This company kills local retail then bends UPS, Fedex and USPS over without a reach-around, now they will bring packages to my house, document my personal property and sell the info -- No Thanks. I'm not ordering from these schmucks. Giant flea market anyway. You can usually buy from other sources and get the same deal.
Well there's my Spring project; covering the entire property with camouflage netting.
Those drones talk the talk, but can they walk the walk?
Seems like a geographical oddity that Amazon is 30 minutes away from anywhere.
The more stores you have the lower costs.
Great reference.
LOL- this will lead to the inevitable grab for airspace rights.. Hey Amazon, wanna fly over MY yard? Gonna cost ya $5 per order.....
no shit, been thinking about invoicing Verizon (and others) a "BROADCASTING ACCESS FEE" across my property...then there's the Satellite TV radio footprint without my permission...the list goes on and on..
I just registered residential-barrage-balloon.com and am launching a Kickstarter Monday! I'm gonna be rich, RICH I tell you!
Limited range is a drawback. They would also be quite a hazard in suburbia, flitting around all those cars and kids on bikes. Someone will have a drone come through the windshield (or window) and the lawsuits will start flying.
Pull!
Kids shooting them with pellet guns...
or just catch em with big butterfly nets !!!
Kids on bikes at 100 feet? What, is there an upswing in ET / little boy flying bikes going on?
KAAAA BOOOOOOMMMMMM
Sorry we can't deliver your package if you live 20 minutes from a distribution center, live in a city hi-rise, or live where its windy or snowy, but if you live in the desert and want us to deliver that whatever can fit in a lunch box size container and weigh less than 5 pounds we can do that. Of course it will cost us money but soon or later we'll past the cost on to you. WTF.
Fascinating...
but nobody's minding The Store.
It’s a good thing we’re monitoring every Amazon order here at the NSA boss. We just intercepted one for delivery of explosives by drone.
That’s awesome, where’s it going?
Um, its outside your window right now.
Shiiiit, run.
I'd like to see a picture of one of these things after it landed in my yard and the dog got ahold of it.
Old 'Yeller is going to have a hard time drinking after the tongue-putation.
Dogs nationwide are going to have an awful lot of fun with those things.
They are going to love those suckers in the hood yo.
00 buckshot. Problem solved.
Don't forget to give each of your neighbors a roll of duct tape to patch the holes in their siding.
Shotguns? Every FPV flyer I know has directional antennas and an array of transmitters. No RF is proprietary.
Drone me mama!
So what happens when the Obama Blacks start drone-jacking these things as they land?
There's already people who follow around UPS trucks to steal packages from porches.
... do I get to keep the drone?
We be jamming
With all the talk about the immigration bill to jump start new tax revenues for America debt recovery matters.. Our illegal aliens have shipped Lifeline Assistance and Lifeline Link-Up (ObamaPhones) back to the southern borders.
They will have duck taped the Obamaphone to a RC device purchased during the 2013 Thanksgiving Door Buster Sale. This Government Intel device has opened border security fleapits. Immigrates are now in possession of US counter intelligence spy tools to access US border with more ease. Just humor.
Hey Bezos, you non-money making silly rabbit...
Don't forget to tape bacon to all your drones. Dogs love bacon.
It's very strange--Amazon has no functioning customer service, but it will have drones?
Greetings, citizen! Your Amazon PrimeAir order has shipped in 22 minutes, 47 seconds.
*WOOP WOOP*
You are harboring a fugitive by the name of 'Not Sure' at this address. Your OnStar vehicles have been disabled, your utilities have been disconnected and your bank accounts have been frozen. Please remain where you are, the authorities have been notified and will be arriving momentary.
Thank you for using Amazon PrimeAir and have a nice day!
Imagine the NSA running this operation. People will be picked up by their heads and gently carried into terrorist interrogation centres.
I prefer my fleshlight order be handled by a gentleman.
This is the dumbest fucking thing I have seen in a LONG time.
God we are so screwed, fucking heads in the clouds.
Get real already!
Fuck me.
My Benellii M4 wants it.
Yea, this sounds pretty retarded. I can't think of much that a small cheap drone can carry around for delivery, and even if it can, why the hell would you want it to?
(Sound of Mossberg racking)
(Fedz take over UPS)
Man at door: Wow, my new survival gadget just arrived!!
(opens box)
Boom!!
My first thought, as a bird hunter, on seeing that thing take off - now if I had a shotgun. . .
Dear Jeff,
I didn't Order a Hell Fire.....
Please see the attached estimate for 1/2 a house...
1stepcloser
1. Move near distribution center.
2. Load shotgun and sit in lawn chair.
3. Get free shit every day falling from the sky.
This is right up there with something like this: http://youtu.be/OcdVaslktBE
April 1st? just checked my calander.
NSA cameras on every corner, watching you....
Da boys in the hood looking to alter these Amazon toys to deliver drugs.
Alter the electronics and re-use them.
Plus they make excellent RC copters for the rest of us.
Jeff Bozo will be spending huge sums on replacing these.
And the terrorist. It's nice gifts for them to deliver C4 packages.
It gives the unibomber a whole new meaning. The terrorist can have an army of these flying to some event and delivering a mass media surprise.
PrimeAir is nothing more than hot air and a convenient way for Amazon to patent something. Unless one lives in a field before the Amazon warehouse, there is no way a package will get delivered with today's battery technology, or one in the near future (less than 10 years). Even then, it will be faster and cheaper to dispatch a truck with multiple packages to multiple destinations.
This must be something from the Onion....has anyone considered how impossible an idea that is?
Could probably license the idea to Silk Road .....
Someone could hijack an Amazon drone using something like this: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mossmann/hackrf-an-open-source-sdr-p...
There's a start up company with medical devices and supplies already in this space and it might be the proof of concept that Amazon needs to move forward, and who knows maybe Amazon will buy them (grin). How many drones will be out there one day you wonder? Obviously life saving tech seems to move forward first so if they get that going, and Amazon sells a lot of medical supplies and devices of all types, maybe a partnership...video on the start up that did a trial run during the earthquake in Haiti...they have hub stations and a whole network in progress and design. It would surprise me not to see Amazon collaborating with these folks in some fashion.
http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2013/12/amazon-drones-delivering-your-pro...
im sure truck drivers will love this video. Haha, and hipsters too. Sick sad world.
My friends who remain in the USSA agree that the moment sales tax is charged on all purchases, including from out-of-state companies, they will never buy anything from amazon.com again. This is because amazon lobbied the federal government to force everyone to pay unjustified sales tax. Good for them. I hope they stick to their guns. Amazon used to be such a good company. No more... gone evil like so many others.
PS: Also, what an easy way to deliver so-called illicit goods... just slap amazon logo all over your hovercraft and no way the cops will mess with you, cuz they're already bought off in advance. Just to make sure they don't track you, just add a parachutte and release while in flight and let your good drift to a soft landing in your back yard, or on your rooftop.