French President Warns Of Immediate Military Intervention Hours After Reporting Soaring Unemployment

Tyler Durden's picture

While we are sure it is just a coincidence that hours after his nation reports record and soaring unemployment rates, French President Hollande announces a doubling of troops in Central African Republic (CAR) deciding to "intervene immediately" after the UN authorization, adding "this intervention will be quick. It has no vocation to last and I'm sure it will be a success,"


The US State Department "welcomes France's decision to reinforce its military presence," adding that, the US is "appalled by today's reports of the murder of innocent women and children outside of Bangui."

Of course, it wouldn't be the modern-day war without drones, and as IB Times reports, a fleet of five unarmed drones will help U.N. troops monitor the vast Central African country of 66 million people, which has been plagued by violent militias for decades.


Hollande... (via DPA),

French President Francois Hollande said Thursday he had decide to intervene "immediately" in the Central African Republic, after the United Nations authorized an intervention by African and French forces.


France would double its current troop deployment of 600 "within a few days, if not a few hours," Hollande said in an address from the Elysee Palace.


"This intervention will be quick. It has no vocation to last and I'm sure it will be a success," he said, pledging to regularly brief the nation on its progress.


Hollande emphasized that France would be acting "together with Africans and the support of European partners" and assured that the country has "no other objective than to save human lives."

From the US State Dept.

The United States remains committed to supporting the international community's efforts to find a solution that protect civilians, restores security, ensures greater humanitarian access, and puts CAR on a path back to democratic governance.

Drone use raises questions...(Via IB Times),

"Such high-technology systems allow a better knowledge of what is happening on the ground, which allows a force to better do its job," said Hervé Ladsous, U.N. Under-Secretary-General for Peacekeeping Operations.




But there are some concerns about the U.N. drone program's transparency and regulatory framework. “Congo is in many ways a laboratory for U.N. peacekeepers with a range of equipment and a range of experiments being used,” said Phil Clark, a political professor at the University of London's School of Oriental and African Studies, to Deutsche Welle. “But I think there are big questions here. Such as, what is it like for a non-state actor to use drones and this type of equipment, what kind of information will it be gathering, who exactly will have access to that information and what will they do with it and so I think we need a lot more clarity from the U.N. as to exactly how these drones will be used.

As the Keynesian train rolls on, when all else fails, declare war... all that non-deflatinary ammunition production and waste...

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lolmao500's picture

France is on a roll... Libya, Mali, Central African Republic... who's next... Syria and Iran?

Anusocracy's picture

Who is going to protect French citizens from having their lives destroyed by the French government?

AlaricBalth's picture

The CAR's gold and uranium production must be protected. After all, France still owes Germany massive amounts of gold and the seven year deadline must be met.

EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Military intervention is the main CAUSE of unemployment in the first place...

synergize's picture

The country is called the "Central African Republic"?  Ahhhh - the "Powers that Be" couldn't come up with something more creative?  I guess its hard when you're dividing the spoils into more and more smaller African nations.

Imperialism at its most uncreative...

Fortunate Fool's picture

Hey Tyler, you're not predicting a failure for the French army in CAR this time, as you for for the Mali intervention. Once bitten, twice shy I suppose, eh?

Richard Chesler's picture

The French surrender at the end.


Fortunate Fool's picture

This joke is a bit tired, isn't it? You forgot to call them cheese-eating monkeys btw.

Global Hunter's picture

I believe the preferred nomenclature is "cheese eating surrender monkeys"

knukles's picture

This is exactly why we must open the immigraiton doors to everybody who wants to come in and cannot send Onyango Obama back home, so they can all stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

Who the fuck even cares anymore?

AldousHuxley's picture

when the ponzi has enrolled the entire populace, you need to expand your empire in other territories to keep the ponzi going.


you can use idle youth on this war machine which is soon to be more like in ender's game.

Kids come play this video game....with real weapons....


The issue with unemployment is that the status quo doesn't want the smart and willing to advance society. Plenty of work to do, but very little jobs because elites want to maintain control. Anything that can compete against the status quo is not an authorized (financed) work.



BigJim's picture

This Tyler Durden feller seems a bit of a sick person, if you ask me. Imagine linking Hollande's declaration of military action - military action that will almost certainly save some lives, merely by killing some people - with domestic economic malaise!

That kind of cynicism must rot the soul.

Agent P's picture

You're right!  Besides, the joke is funnier as "The French surrender at the beginning."

Ying-Yang's picture

"what is it like for a non-state actor to use drones and this type of equipment, what kind of information will it be gathering, who exactly will have access to that information and what will they do with it and so I think we need a lot more clarity from the U.N. as to exactly how these drones will be used.

Nothing but Blue Skynet baby

We have seen the future and it's not pretty.

lolmao500's picture


Also France was implicated in the Ivory Coast war...and in Somalia... on the border of Lebanon... France has become little America...

Headbanger's picture

Oh please...  France was a colonial power long before the US existed so there's nothing new here really.

Don't be surprised to see the UK getting back into the old colonial mentality again soon too.

And maybe Italy will find an excuse to invade its old colony of Ethiopia.


Harbanger's picture

Why stop there, maybe they should reclaim the entire roman empire.

knukles's picture

We shall beging with the cafe on the left bank nearest La Place de la Concorde and outlaw every last McRoyalle.
Call up the Foreign Legion.

Headbanger's picture

And they will fart in their general direction!

Veni, Vidi, Varti!

Harbanger's picture

Empress Hillary and her modern version of Veni, Vidi, Vici!

Clinton on Qaddafi: We came, we saw, he died

Headbanger's picture

Please forgive my waning Latin skills with my facetious term "VartI"

I'm still researching the proper conjugation of the Latin term for farted and would appreciate any help from you interested and not too disgusted Latin scholars.

And while I'm at it..  What would be the proper Latin term for "fuck it" in place of "conquered" anyway??


Super Broccoli's picture

Nooo ? So you  do mean belgium will get congo back ? no wait, why should we ? we already own the damn place, why would we bother about the whole "cultural  evolution" thing?


now thinking about it, could be a good solution for spain and portugal to get the whole south america back under their flag.


and wait, why should we stop ? what about we remind  USA they're brit and french and do belong to us ?











Pure Evil's picture

Once Obunga has finished crapping on the place, you can have it.

Straw Dog's picture

Better watch out, maybe the UK will reclaim its old colony - the USA.

Kobe Beef's picture

The Bank of England already did. It's called the Federal Reserve.

Oracle 911's picture

If Germany, then Angela Merkel will fuck him with a horse sized spiked dildo.

Ying-Yang's picture

Some people pay good money for that kind of action. /s

Oracle 911's picture

Well I saw your sarc-tag, but I would pay for that anyway.

I just want that bastard humiliated on public (no homo), because he is just doing to French citizens every day that, what would Merkel do to him.


PS: I'm not a French, but I'm sick of these miserable clowns of the EU.

max2205's picture

They are going to need a lot of agent orange. ..long Monsanto

Crash Overide's picture

Africa has always been the next stop on the tour but the middle east hasn't panned out they way they wanted so plans have been severely delayed, poor warmongers...

Pure Evil's picture

They got what they wanted which was a pipeline through Syria. Any other reason to be lifting sanctions on Iran and bringing about an end to the civil war in Syria. It was never about their ability to develop nuclear weapons, it was about the west gaining access once again to Iran's oil and gas resources.

dryam's picture

No worries, the governments and central banks have everything under control.  Isn't this obvious?

booboo's picture

"Don't shoot until you see the whites of their flag."

pods's picture

Bullish for dropped rifles.


quasimodo's picture

I thought the tanks they use have more reverse gears than forward?

ForTheWorld's picture

"See man, we like to think we can get outta trouble, quicker than we got into it"

holgerdanske's picture

"France is on a roll... Libya, Mali, Central African Republic... who's next... Syria and Iran?"

Maybe the French people themselves!

France should stick to what they are good at, good food and good life.

stocktivity's picture

Never mind...they just surrendered to the unemployed.

Winston Churchill's picture

Just a soon as Pierre gets the reverse gears fixed on the tank.

msamour's picture

Just rotate the seats 180 degres. There fixed it for you...

Jumbotron's picture

And don't forget to rotate the turrent as well.

quasimodo's picture

Sorry, maybe next time I will read one post down before replying, lol. Having a blonde day here, it's colder than crap


101 years and counting's picture

and everyday here is the US, the Fed chairman starves women and children so his brothren make a few more million a year.

0b1knob's picture

I thought for a moment that the French were going to call out the army do put down domestic unrest because of unemployment.

If the French invaded themselves how could they surrender?  What fustercluck that would be.

VonSalza's picture

c'est magnifique ! A bloody war to get unemployment figures down.

Dr. Engali's picture

It's funny how quickly the "anti-war left" turn to murderto distract the masses. It's almost as if they aren't really all that peace loving.

booboo's picture

The progressive word for "war" is Democide and they are good at it.

Harbanger's picture

A must See! If you want to understand Progressivism and War in under 6 minutes.

John Stossel - Progressives And War