Consumer Confidence Surges; Beats By Most On Record

Tyler Durden's picture

Of course, why not. University of Michigan Consumer Confidence jumped from 75.1 to a preliminary 82.5 beating expectations by the most on record. While we remain below the July 2013 highs, current conditions soared to the highest since May and the economic outlook spiked to the highest since August. This is the biggest absolute improvement in current conditions since December 2008.... and that ended well eh?



The last time current conditions jumped this much... it didn't end well...

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So Close's picture

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

HelluvaEngineer's picture

Well speaking for myself, now that the Obamacare website is "fixed", I feel much more confident about doing battle at Wal-Mart for all those door buster deals.

wallstreetaposteriori's picture

My consumer confidence is plunging... I have no confidence the sheeple will be able to pay for all this shit they keep buying on credit with the intention of having tax payers flip the bill.  Awesome....  I better get saving for when my taxes go the fuck up again.

Headbanger's picture

But then again, there's only a few dozen consumers left in the US to poll anyway!

Mark Urbo's picture

..confidence comes along just in time for the taper !



Crash Overide's picture

Here are my "confidence" numbers:



Underemployment:     25%
Unemployment:         14%
Inflation:                   7%
Benefit recipients:       100 million+
Government debt:      TRILLIONS!!!

Everything is getting even worse as each day passes so what's the score here again?

MillionDollarBogus_'s picture


One important number missing from your list is the price of one bitcoin a year from now...

freewolf7's picture

Were the original Muppets this stupid?

Pooper Popper's picture

Fuck you obama and that nasty horse/vallerie jarret you rode in on!!!!!!!!!!!

Ness.'s picture

My head hurts from all of the bullshit.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



You are not supposed to smoke it.

Colonel Klink's picture

Bullshit = Hopium

Everything the Liar in chief is blowing.

Terminus C's picture

This author must be Tyler's Canadian cousin, eh?

PR Guy's picture

Sorry I meant to post just this


In Here's some Friday afternoon fun for you - Death tells us about his hobby - Nelson Mandela will undoubtedly be talking to Death today too.

PR Guy's picture

Well, it's Friday afternoon where I'm sitting.

Headbanger's picture

Great!  You mean I can start drinking already!?

PR Guy's picture


In Ireland, they count 16yo's in the employed figures but exclude them from the unemployed figures as part of the whitewash. They also forget to mention all the 'self employed' who haven't found any work in months and are part of the 20% who have defaulted on their mortgages (higher figure than that on the buy to let defaults), the huge numbers who have left the country, the huge numbers who have stayed in full time eduction/gone back to it, etc. etc. Then they crow because the official unemployment figure has come down to 13% - you couldn't make it up (er, actually, they do make it up).

Here's some Friday afternoon fun for you - Death tells us about his hobby - Nelson Mandela will undoubtedly be talking to Death today too.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I am quite confident that the UMich Confidence Report is a CON!

Crash Overide's picture

They wouldn't fudge numbers right before Christmas would they?

GolfHatesMe's picture

Holiday sales this year to include everything you were thinking about buying

Oldwood's picture

I'm as confident as I have ever been that we will see the biggest shit storm in this nation's history in my lifetime, and I'm 60 and slightly suicidal. Hey, everyone has a hedge.

Son of Loki's picture


Who are they polling? The people who stay home during the day watching Duck Dynasty reruns?

Silverhog's picture

This must be the Grosse Pointe, Michigan confidence report. 

Saratoga's picture

So all those people who received notication that their health insurance has been cancelled and now must pay at least 50% more are confident. Idon't think so.

Non Passaran's picture

They're confident they will spend more... on shit they don't need (ObozoCare). 


Seasmoke's picture


Max Damage's picture

Lots of shagging going on then, since noone can afford to go out

russwinter's picture

Peak Bogus Economic Reports

kralizec's picture

This is not the surge I felt...

q99x2's picture

I once heard Walter Cronkite mention that Ann Arbor had the highest drug use per capita out of any city in the United States. The town I grew up in was second.

Bosch's picture

Apparently the conversation between Obama and Mrs. Boris Yelstin went something like this: 


Ms Yeltsin:  "OK, I'll take the job but you gotta do something to get me the fuck out of tapering." 

0bama:  Stares blankly at his blackberry 

Ms Yeltsin:  "You know, just make some shit up like you did with the employment #'s last October."

falak pema's picture

raging complacent bull! 

Promises for 2014 !

SmallerGovNow2's picture

OT but wanted to share with my fellow ZH'rs...

RARE NEWS VIDEO: 1932 - young Patton, young Eisenhower, young MacArthur, Pres.Hoover, Walter Winchell reporting. I don't recall this from any history classes. Do you think our military, acting on orders from a broken federal gov't, will NOT march against our own citizens?? Think what you want to, but THIS DID HAPPEN only a couple of generations ago. Hard to believe but it was only 80 years ago !


Will leave you truly speechless. Anyone ever heard of this? I've been a life long study of military history and this is the first i've heard of it...

Oldwood's picture

The reason so few are brave is because bravery so seldom seems to pay off. We are left to die for our principles, like anyone else gives a shit.

GrinandBearit's picture

Fairy tales can come true... it can happen to you

max2205's picture

Good news is always bad here on ZH

Yen Cross's picture

     Do the survey takers sit around a camp fire and eat peyote buttons and scratch numbers in the dirt to come up with these figures? JFC who in their right mind believes this shit!

Hunter S. Thompson's picture

You mean the "We can buy more shit" indicator

crgTMT56's picture

Thank you Herbalife for supplying jobs and giving consumers hope.....

crgTMT56's picture

complete defiance.....on record.... being televised to the outside world:


Brazen Heist's picture

Xmas is coming...

Someone forgot to do seasonal adjustment. 

Dre4dwolf's picture

Boom before Bust.

squid427's picture

Unemployment is down to 7%, consumer confidence is up, the aca website is fixed, and if you don't believe me just ask Jay carney. He's a very honest guy.