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2 Unicorns For Sale - $930,000; Must Go Together

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Bereft of holiday gift ideas for the greater-fool in your house? Too much hard multiple-expanded cash burning a binary hole in your Prime Broker's servers? Then spend it all on what will truly set you above the rest of the 0.1% - the following two lovely unicorns.

 

Via Craiglist:

 

h/t @Stalingrad_Poor

 


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Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:33 | Link to Comment SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I think the seller meant UniCoins

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:35 | Link to Comment Dear Infinity
Dear Infinity's picture

UniCoins can only be mined by NUBAA certified Unicorns... get 'em now while the difficulty is low...


Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:39 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

They are lottery unicorns that poop cash out so you can then take yourself to the cleaners and make money.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:42 | Link to Comment smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

did somebody say bitcoins...get me fonestar....stat

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:48 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

                 .

                 .

                 .

                 .

      ...........  ........................................ 

 

There he is,    check back later and see if there's a pulse.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:51 | Link to Comment ACP
ACP's picture

Unicorns! They would complement Obongwater's nobel peace prize well.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:53 | Link to Comment fonestar
fonestar's picture

This is actually a great example of an organic and spontaneous economy growing up around new, exciting digital currencies like Bitcoin.  The potentials are truly endless.  I can only hope that sheepmarketplace (or its replacement) will offer unicorns for sale as well.  Instead of lurking in the darkest caves of your minds you should release your fears to Satoshi and embrace the rainbow.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:57 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

You are turning into a parody of yourself.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:02 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Now he's got me wondering if the similarity is that Bitcoins are imaginary....

Parody?
Perhaps.
Nusiance, pest, really fucking annoying? 
Fursure. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:06 | Link to Comment SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

Million Dollar Fonestar

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:08 | Link to Comment nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol.

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 03:26 | Link to Comment Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

He (fonestar) never ceases to just keep making shit up! WTF???

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 07:58 | Link to Comment gold-is-not-dead
gold-is-not-dead's picture

recipe for garlic bread youtube...

btc back to $1k?!?! It can't be, media said it's tulip and bubble... how can media and payed commentaries be wrong I wonder, how?!

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 22:29 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

I kind of like him Knucks - he's like MDB on really, really good weed.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:04 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Sorry Tyler,

  I only buy unicorns in groups of three, in honor of gay pride,

   or some such happy horse shit;)

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:13 | Link to Comment WOAR
WOAR's picture

I only buy candy colored ponies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rynj4WuXxYA

I am a discerning consumer.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:05 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

We have been working on this hypothesis for the last 13 seconds:  Perhaps he is the "anonymous genius" Satoshi.  An arrogant egomaniac might come up with just such a scheme.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 22:15 | Link to Comment darteaus
darteaus's picture

Whoa!  I should not have just hit the vape before reading that!

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 03:22 | Link to Comment Seer
Seer's picture

"turning?"

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:27 | Link to Comment ultimate warrior
ultimate warrior's picture

Listen up Fonestar. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snow flake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

Now shut the fuck up with your Bitcoin babble. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:38 | Link to Comment fonestar
fonestar's picture

...and also with you.

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 06:49 | Link to Comment Advoc8tr
Advoc8tr's picture

I see the Swiss are putting forward a vote to classify BTC as a recognised international currency ?  http://www.coindesk.com/swiss-lawmakers-bitcoin-foreign-currency/

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:03 | Link to Comment Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

Whatta douche.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:57 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Successful buyers should prepare to be shovel ready.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:06 | Link to Comment Zero Point
Zero Point's picture

To shovel up all those skittles?

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 03:25 | Link to Comment Seer
Seer's picture

Great catch!

I often find that folks posting on Craigslist aren't very marketing savvy.  I'm positive that if they'd include this point then they'd be moving them like hotcakes...

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:09 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

State Dept could buy 'em for art work to go in front of the Somalian Embassy.  Natives get pissed off they eat the fucking things while the staff evacuates out the back door!

What does it matter?

(or whatever the fucking phrase was)

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:26 | Link to Comment Keyser
Keyser's picture

They would be perfect for pulling Obongo's chariot around the collosseum. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:30 | Link to Comment GS-DickinDaMuppets
GS-DickinDaMuppets's picture

I think it was "What difference does it make?"

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:32 | Link to Comment mt paul
mt paul's picture

shovel ready jobs ..?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:47 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

Even Beetlejuice had the decency to demand three repetitions of the magic word in order to be summoned.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:51 | Link to Comment Notveryamused
Notveryamused's picture

ZH'ers still don't seem to get that gold is a central bankers best friend. It's the basis of their whole dirty scam.  

Imagine we were on a full gold standard again now. 

As soon as you/business has a significant excess or you want to do long distance transactions/payments/trading then you will need to trust a bank/organisation with your gold. As people are greedy, these banks/organisations ALWAYS issue more 'certificates of deposits'/notes than there is gold to back it up. When they get caught they just revalue your notes & continue as before... Until they get caught again, at which point they switch to pure fiat & steal as much wealth from the public as possible, then just before the fiat system collapses they buy/confiscate as much gold as they can and leave Joe Public holding fiat. Then they re-introduce a gold standard and profit again. Then on this new gold standard if you or a business has a significant excess or you want to do long distance transactions/payments/trading then you will need to trust a bank, middleman with your gold and the whole putrid gold cycle repeats itself.

People keep saying fiat has failed for 5000 years but really gold keeps failing as the bankers are able to use a rinse and repeat formula above to coninually steal wealth from the public. 

Crypto has the potential to suceed where gold fails. You don't have to trust banks/organisations 'certificates of deposit' as all entries are publicly viewable in a ledger that is verified by thousands of people across the world. It is this massive decentralised public auditing system that can beat the 5000 year old gold cycle scam. 

Though I hold gold, I know it's just a get rich scheme for that moment when fiat fails at which point I can profit like a dirty banker at the expense of fiat holders. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:58 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

Youd be better off waiting for a rich uncle to die, if the daily theater around here doesn't get ya first. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:30 | Link to Comment SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"As soon as you/business has a significant excess or you want to do long distance transactions/payments/trading then you will need to trust a bank/organisation with your gold."

sometimes, when I see a squirrel burying a nut in my yard, I go and dig up the nut. 

just to piss off the squirrel.

what were you thinking, you stupid squirrel.

don't think you can store your crap on *my* property.

hugs,
jamiedimum's cufflinks

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:19 | Link to Comment Zero Point
Zero Point's picture

Get rich scheme?

I feel you have an inadequate grasp of what "fiat fails" actually means.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:32 | Link to Comment stant
stant's picture

one shits skittles the other pisses fruit juice

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:38 | Link to Comment Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Watermelon punch? Skittles? People have died for that shiit.

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp-WKDdvSI

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:05 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

If that's true then they're way the fuck underpriced.
Don't let Goldman find out!

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:06 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Seems to be a problem here,

My bosom buddy, the Nigerian Finance Minister, assured me he had the only one's left in Christendom.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:36 | Link to Comment Mike in GA
Mike in GA's picture

Just goes to show ya this ain't your Daddy's Christendom no more.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:30 | Link to Comment krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

 Shittles.  Trade the Rainbow of FiatTM

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:35 | Link to Comment Rainman
Rainman's picture

Dammit....This is just toooo much ....somebody needs to cut back on the choom just a smidge.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:39 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

Musta been some good choom too, have you read those other articles?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:39 | Link to Comment abatis
abatis's picture

I am itching for a nice UNIMOG these days.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:12 | Link to Comment NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

I'll take a Gurkha F5 myself, but +100 for the UNIMOG comment should also look at the UNICAT kinda nice too.....

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:21 | Link to Comment Zero Point
Zero Point's picture

Surplus BTR for me thanks.

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 03:37 | Link to Comment Seer
Seer's picture

I'd been itching for quite a while.  (with options) Three point hitch and rear PTO, man what machines.  There's one model/variant that the US military (Marines?) used that has a backhoe and loader; aweswome, but I'd read that there were issues.  Sigh, just cannot justify the cost.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:39 | Link to Comment Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

Sweet!  I'm so tired of eating horse meat passed off as unicorn. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:42 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

I bet at least one of them is named "Deflation".

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:48 | Link to Comment booboo
booboo's picture

They were listed at 1.4 million last week, so yea.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:53 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

Or maybe they are really just priced in bitcoins?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:54 | Link to Comment Nue
Nue's picture

And the other one is Job Growth.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:00 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

And its twin, "Recovery".

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 07:00 | Link to Comment Pseudonymous
Pseudonymous's picture

These days it is not like you can't have deflation, ever, at all. It is just that it is not available in the old system, so you have to go look for it yourself elsewhere. Be it gold, silver or bitcoin, sure, you can't expect all of them to appreciate equally and at the same time, but all of them have what it takes to be a good form of money, and therefore you can experience deflation (prices of things falling in relation to them) when holding them and when deflation is to be expected and appropriate.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:43 | Link to Comment Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

This

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:55 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

That

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:59 | Link to Comment cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

and another thing

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:01 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

The mattering thing

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:06 | Link to Comment Hulk
Hulk's picture

A babies arm holding an apple !!!

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:16 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

(I said "the mattering thing", not "the splattering thing"!)

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:28 | Link to Comment krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

From 'A Diaper Too Far'?

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 12:53 | Link to Comment FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

A Tubes reference that's not prefaced by "inter". Well done, sir.

Do they come with a Winnebago?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:50 | Link to Comment NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Contact WB7.  He'll whip you up a much better photoshopped picture of Unicorns for a LOT less than $930K.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:52 | Link to Comment Nue
Nue's picture

I spent all my money on a Manticore. Expensive but for home defense nothing beats one.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:52 | Link to Comment Dr. Gonzo
Dr. Gonzo's picture

That's a good price for unicorns. I paid almost a million dollars for mine and his horn fell off after a few days. I'm still trying to get him to fly but he refuses to do it. Wish I would have know about these before I bought mine.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 18:58 | Link to Comment cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Are they good eats? A cat might hit that.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:03 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

I hear they taste just like chicken.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:09 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

No that's rattle snake, er dinosaur,

  ah hell, you're right.  Everything you shouldn't be eating tastes like chicken...,

  or fish.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:16 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

Except beets, which taste just like Satan's rectum.

(Same color, too, coincidentally.)

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:27 | Link to Comment krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I'm not even going to asky how you know that but I have to ask; is it shaped like a Pentagram?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:37 | Link to Comment Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

Pure Evil will be in here later and we can finally get to the bottom of this matter.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:38 | Link to Comment akak
akak's picture

I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 22:12 | Link to Comment darteaus
darteaus's picture

9-Lives Chicken or KFC?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:06 | Link to Comment Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

I would like a couple of unicorns but I'm saving up for a dragon.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 21:34 | Link to Comment ImReady
ImReady's picture

If you sneak up on the dragons lair and steal it's gold...Problem solved!

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 22:10 | Link to Comment darteaus
darteaus's picture

Is it easier to get than J-gold?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:09 | Link to Comment Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Apropros:

Lyrics to The Unicorn Song :

A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn

The Lord seen some sinning and it gave Him pain
And He says, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain"
He says, "Hey Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo,
and take some of those...

Green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget my unicorns

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark just as the rain started to fall
He marched the animals two by two
And he called out as they came through
Hey Lord,

I've got green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just can't find no unicorns"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was falling
Oh, them silly unicorns

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, "Close the door because the rain is falling
And we just can't wait for no unicorns"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
That's why you never see unicorns to this very day

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorns

[New Lyrics]
Now you might think this is the ending to the song,
But I'll have to tell you friends that in fact you're wrong
You see, Unicorns are magical, so when the rain started pouring,
They grew themselves some wings and they took to soaring.

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
But if you're looking for the unicorns, don't be forlorn,
The second star to the right and straight on until morning.

[ These are The Unicorn Song Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:11 | Link to Comment are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

This author needs to up his meds, or change drug dealers, or work for the FED.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:23 | Link to Comment b_thunder
b_thunder's picture

Steve Cohen would buy them, but only in formaldehyde.

 

 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:59 | Link to Comment mynameisnobody
mynameisnobody's picture

For that price they should throw in at least one rainbow.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 22:09 | Link to Comment darteaus
Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:29 | Link to Comment Big Whisky
Big Whisky's picture

YES!  Now, I can finally get the two horns I needed to finish my gargoyle!

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:45 | Link to Comment Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

this is why unicorns are so rare, because of people like you

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:42 | Link to Comment ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

And if nobody buys them, this is where they are headed: http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Canned-Unicorn-Meat/dp/B004CRYE2C

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 19:58 | Link to Comment wisehiney
wisehiney's picture

They have excellent registered bloodlines.

This is their grandfather.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cXwm3VqP2EI/T8jSdy52pAI/AAAAAAAAOIg/TnGcb2Z1J7...

Name:     Unisexual

Title:       The Unimaginable Universal Uniter  

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:03 | Link to Comment Roanman
Roanman's picture

All I can afford is a damn Jackalope.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:11 | Link to Comment Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

Alright... If I pull the trigger on this I better not receive two malnourished narwhal. 

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:14 | Link to Comment 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Ahhhh... Craiglist.

 

I have next years top 90 inch HDTV for sale now.

 

Meet me in a dark parking lot with $3,000 cash.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:28 | Link to Comment krispkritter
Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:24 | Link to Comment joego1
joego1's picture

Good collateral for mark to unicorn accounting- should sell fast.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:37 | Link to Comment RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Title is wrong.  930K gets you one, and you must buy two.

I know, it screwed up my plans too

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 20:38 | Link to Comment mt paul
mt paul's picture

 damn ...all i got 

was a donkey with a dildo

super glued on it's forehead...

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 22:05 | Link to Comment darteaus
darteaus's picture

Was it worth it?

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 23:54 | Link to Comment mt paul
mt paul's picture

the old lady

likes him ..

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 21:01 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Shouldn't the names of the unicorns be Hope and Change? Or maybe Ben and Janet ?

Either way whomever buys them should also get a 1 yr supply of purple drank in he deal.

Mon, 12/09/2013 - 21:05 | Link to Comment bh2
bh2's picture

The FED will soon be buying unicorn derivatives.

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 01:05 | Link to Comment holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

No skittles? Nevermind. No deal.

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 03:26 | Link to Comment Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

What do you call a unicorn who lost his job?

 

Canned corn.

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 03:43 | Link to Comment Seer
Seer's picture

Out in the countryside there's ranchers and farmers AND, horse people.  This ad is the poster child for the later...

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 06:08 | Link to Comment Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

are they shitting skittles too?

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 08:06 | Link to Comment lamont cranston
lamont cranston's picture

Dammit, just when I knew Nessie would bring me top Bitcoin...

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