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Chinese State-Run Media Embarrasses Itself By Proclaiming "Unexpected Benefits Of Smog"

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

In case you weren’t aware, several of China’s major cities have experienced record-breaking, extremely dangerous levels of smog in recent days. For example, here is a shocking picture of Lianyungang, China:

Screen Shot 2013-12-11 at 11.44.18 AM
Photograph: Chinafotopress/Getty Images.

So how did China’s state-run media decide to respond to this environmental and public health disaster? With ridiculous propaganda about the “unexpected benefits” of smog of course. You have to see this to believe it.

From The Guardian:

China’s noxious air pollution has made people smarter, funnier and impervious to missile attacks, the country’s official media reported this week, as a toxic cloud covering half of the country began to lift.


On Monday the website of the state broadcaster CCTV published a list of five “unexpected benefits” brought by the smog.


It said the haze had unified Chinese people, as they found solidarity in their complaints; equalised them, as both rich and poor people were vulnerable to its effects; enlightened them, as they realised the cost of rapid growth; and “made Chinese people more humorous”, as smog-related jokes proliferated on the internet.


It had also helped to educate people, it said. “Our knowledge of meteorology, geography, physics, chemistry and history has progressed.”

As I have said many times before, The Onion is a short.

This year China has registered its highest pollution levels in 52 years, according to state media. More than 100 Chinese cities spanning half the country spent early December enveloped by smog. Both articles attracted such vitriol online that the media outlets quickly took them down. By Tuesday afternoon “benefits of smog” was a trending topic on China’s most popular microblog, Sina Weibo, racking up 240,000 posts.


Full article here.


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Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:17 | 4238608 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Heavily polluted, carcinogenic, asthma inducing air is like a little slice of chocolate cream pie that you can inhale.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:34 | 4238639 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Hmmmm.... Anything above 30 storeys seems to be largely unaffected by the smog. It probably makes it easier to piss on the little people below without gettting caught.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:42 | 4238656 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Smog is beneficial.

Radiation is healthy.

Debt is wealth.

War is peace.

Ignorance is strength.


I love Big Brother.


Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:48 | 4238671 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

'The point is, ladies and gentleman, that smog, for lack of a better word, is good. Smog is right, smog works. Smog clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Smog, in all of its forms; smog for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And smog, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much.'

Gordon Gekko

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:53 | 4238685 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

fuck em.  you get our jobs the smog comes with em.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:58 | 4238694 akak
akak's picture

Blobbing-up is its own reward ... and its own curse.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:06 | 4238710 Orly
Orly's picture

Looks like next year is going to be loud for us mouth-pieces.

Happy Holidays, ak.


Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:02 | 4238794 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"smarter, funnier and impervious to missile attacks"


Wait...Isn't that the U.S. army's slogan?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:06 | 4238814 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Quiet professionals, noisy machinery.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 05:02 | 4238962 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

and it's good for playing 'hide 'n seek'!

and stress relief, if you were going to be hit by a train or a truck, you wouldn't see it until the very last minute...

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 07:38 | 4239050 negative rates
negative rates's picture

It makes um funnier alright, breathing smog pollutes the blood stream and needs to be filtered with carbon. The longer you slowly pollute the blood (like running kerosene thru ur veins cause of the side effect of the cocaine) the more edgey and insane you become,  look at our politicians if you want to see just how funny it can make you. 

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:07 | 4239135 kralizec
kralizec's picture

ChiCom's love the smell of smog in the morning...smells like...victory.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 07:13 | 4239037 DYS
DYS's picture

"An Army of Fun!"


Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:17 | 4239157 e-recep
e-recep's picture

Correct. Does anyone still remember England's infamous fog?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 10:50 | 4239427 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The infamous pea soup.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:03 | 4238708 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

When river pigs fly...




...the smog blocks your view of them.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:08 | 4238717 akak
akak's picture

The eternal nature of Chinese citizen smogism is clearly to make nature less than eternal, monolizing the pollutionary means while farming the weak breathing and extorting the poor asthmatic.

Rumorizing has it that Chinese characters for "emphysema" translate as "economic progress boot stomping face".

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:31 | 4238756 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

The new culture of the gregarious smog thrives under the auspices of bicameral communist/capitalist synchronism.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:50 | 4238780 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Chinese citizenism inability of self indiction leads to blame-placing outsourcery.

Tomorrow's progated Xinhuautistic story tells smog caused by monk immolation in Tibet.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:53 | 4238788 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Smog caused by excess production of trendy Intelligent Fragrant Chicken! This will unmend the issue alas, alas.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:48 | 4238781 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

How about a little common sense here?

China is the Land of Dragons and that includes Smaug.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 06:53 | 4239027 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

We are so fucked when the Chinese eventually become our new planetary overlords, but I welcome then none the less....

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:02 | 4238705 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

Bombs away

Ora noe

someone bigga shit ona me!

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:51 | 4238679 edotabin
edotabin's picture

The highest pollution level in 52 years?  What caused more smog and pollution 52 years ago?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:59 | 4238795 mumcard
mumcard's picture

Nixon's visit?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:59 | 4238799 walküre
walküre's picture

If you think the People's Republic of China measured pollution 52 years ago, I have a bridge to sell to you.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:06 | 4238815 mumcard
mumcard's picture

It was probably similar to weather rock technology.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:31 | 4239198 toady
toady's picture

Post-war boom?

Radioactive half-life?

Rape of Nanking?

I don't know, you pick.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:51 | 4238852 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

China, what a shithole.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:39 | 4238888 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The New Jersey of Asia.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 08:21 | 4239083 General Decline
General Decline's picture

A guy I work with says China is the best country in the world because of the desperate chicks that are constantly hanging all over him the moment his American ass gets off the plane. I'll have to ask him if they taste like benzene.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:55 | 4239270 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

They're hanging all over him, because they want to marry his American ass so they can get the hell out of China.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:47 | 4238668 rustymason
rustymason's picture

@wisehiney, thanks, I hadn't seen that. Birds of a feather, swine together. America is not just dead, it is rotten.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:44 | 4238770 edotabin
edotabin's picture

+1 for Dexter !

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:05 | 4238862 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


Nice try, diversionary tweaker. Your masters in Bejing, Haifa, WTF ever in Brussels (the Eurozone), and Alexandria (VA), are not amused at your lack of up-down votes.


AND, your comment has WHAT to do with the pollution in China?





Thu, 12/12/2013 - 05:47 | 4238994 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

is it cold under the bridge?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 11:10 | 4239501 SkottFree
SkottFree's picture

At least in the US we can point our fingers at Ozone as the problem not the toxic soup of pollution!

They neeed to bring down the Ozone levels!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 11:34 | 4239584 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

I'm guessing astronomy has taken a hit in these cities.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:15 | 4238605 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

You can't make this shit up.

<Oh can.>

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:43 | 4238663 Orly
Orly's picture

<...and you do...>



Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:49 | 4238672 Orly
Orly's picture

"I simply changed the parameters of the test."


Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:50 | 4238677 Orly
Orly's picture


So you cheated?

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:15 | 4238606 666
666's picture

Spin doctors. They must have learned this method from American PR companies (or the US gubmint)..

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:28 | 4238610 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Next up:  MSNBC posits that we need to increase smog in order to combat lack of humor; Fox says that more smog is better to combat missile attacks.  A vigorous debate among the two opposed spectrums of politicial debate occurs over whether more humor, or absence of missile attacks is the more important reason for more smog.  Bill O'Reilly notes that there is too much humor already.   Maddow proclaims that humor is more important than protection from missiles and the anti-missile crowd is misguided and too obsessed with humor.  Hannity sucks an eagle's cock and then comes out in favor of fewer missiles.  Olberman smirks and points out that humor is important too.  Much name calling ensues.   Voters line up to choose candidates who take one or the other side.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:56 | 4238791 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

LTER ZH has changed you. Welcome to my world friend.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:00 | 4238802 mumcard
mumcard's picture

We must close the missile deflection smog gap!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:11 | 4238867 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

WAIT for it...

Ann Coulter decries that 'radiation is good for you', on whatever MSM craphole that they feed the U.S. 'constituents':


Hannity sez: 'very, very GOOD!'


Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:32 | 4238882 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

I just watched that. I can't believe she actually said that.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 08:19 | 4239080 BlankfeinDiamond
BlankfeinDiamond's picture

Peel away that skin and blonde wig and you'll find a cockroach, the only thing that will survive a nuclear disaster.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:19 | 4238612 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

There is good in anything. Cancer is great for weightloss!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 07:53 | 4239061 homme
homme's picture

And nicotine withdrawal.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:23 | 4238625 Professor Fate
Professor Fate's picture

Amateurs.  In the "Bullshit Department", the Chinese government can't hold a candle to our own, Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Fate the Magnificent
"Push the Button, Max

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:25 | 4238632 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Wait when the fukushima crap hits the West coast, media in the US will spin the "benefits of radiation".

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:27 | 4238635 suteibu
suteibu's picture

A friend in Shanghai describes the city like something one would imagine in a zombie movie, masked walkers groping around in a constant fog.  It scared her to be alone in the middle of the day in a usually crowded public park.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:03 | 4238805 walküre
walküre's picture

Chinese cities are so empty. It's not like there are millions crowding streets and sidewalks. Being alone there is next to impossible.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:58 | 4238860 Casey Stengel
Casey Stengel's picture

I was 300 miles from Shanghai on Sunday and visibility was less than 100 meters. Yes, it was surreal and very spooky. 

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:16 | 4239154 zapdude
zapdude's picture

I was in Shanghai last summer. Only saw the sun one time in four days -- constant greyish fog over the city.  After I came home to the midwest, my eyes were itchy for a week and I had a cough unlike I had ever had before.  I wasn't sick and I don't have allergies -- it was the "Shanghai Sniffles".  Many co-workers have had the same experience.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:29 | 4238637 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Honestly this must be "Ground Hog Day" the movie. How many times do I go online for news and find some Chinese cities making record breaking air pollution levels? Often enough in any case!  The workshop of the world and the low wage capital and the no regulation nation. It all makes for record profits, no doubt about it. Does anything else really matter? I wonder. America, according to some, destroyed it's economy by enacting regulations of safety, health and pollution. China has ignored all three in it's fight to modernize and to expand it's economy. One could say it is a spectacular success, for they certainly have taken most American manufacturing and processing jobs.

The air probelm also has a strong automobile component. With millions of new cars hitting Chinese streets every few quarters.

If the air is this bad, then it is obvious that their water is probably worse. When no controls on water use or disposal of waste water exist, you get rivers catching fire like way back in the 1970's out in America industrial heart.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:11 | 4238693 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

The key to China's success is that there are no fucking Indians (fucking native-Americans for the PC crowd) to paddle into Lake Qinghai and cry about the floating garbage, oil, coal dust, etc.   But for that, they would be fucked too.  Once again, it all goes back to the Indians being the problem that needs to be eradicated.  Companies would be responsible but for the fucking native Americans.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:15 | 4238725 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Is this the Crying Indian you're talking about?

Or the other liberal Indian chief Warren?  Turns out he wasn't even an Indian. 

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:19 | 4238728 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Thank you a million times over for making my point, Chief Sitting BullHarbanger.  You do realize this story is about how unregulated companies are destroying the environment in China to the point where it's not even safe to be insde, much less outside, right?  

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:21 | 4238731 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Oh the Irony, this unregulated pseudo-communism is creating much worse pollution.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:22 | 4238735 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

I gave you an up for your utter inability to see the irony.  China attracts companies due its lack of environmental (and wage) regulation.  Nevermind.  Ronnie rocks!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:28 | 4238747 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

The irony is the big state given to us by progressive liberals is bankrupting us while creating the same environment for chinese style pseudo-capitalism here.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:32 | 4238759 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Or we could stop doing business with slave state communist countries that destroy their environment and U.S. labor for globalist corporation profit.  Then again, that would be anti-freedom, according to you.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:45 | 4238772 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

No, they should've done that a long time ago.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:49 | 4238779 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Who is they?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:01 | 4238798 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

The Democrats because they rape the little people. Only special interest groups are in control, so there is no they except they all agree that we are the problem for expecting honesty and  accountability.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:02 | 4238806 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

You two are better than a spat between Eleanor Clift and Pat Buchanan on the McGlaughlin Group.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:47 | 4239246 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

As long as spat and spit don't get mixed up.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:47 | 4239247 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

As long as spat and spit don't get mixed up.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:03 | 4238808 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

If the government made an effort to post the regulations in English and Spanish then I doubt  there would be less compliance in China. China just needs more regulation and the smog issue will go away.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:00 | 4238859 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

El Grande responso.  Quattro meal por you, si?  Come to shity diner.  

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 05:04 | 4238966 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

We meanwhile have Chief Lyingbigger in charge.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:03 | 4238861 lewietheparrot
lewietheparrot's picture


native americans, please

respect is everything

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 05:01 | 4238964 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

That's why I call them Warriors as well as Injuns.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:20 | 4239165 zapdude
zapdude's picture

The Cuyahoga River in Ohio caught fire 13 times (!!!) in the 60's & 70's.  What's the over / under on how many times the Yangtze River burns? 

They've already had a raft of 20,000 dead pigs. I dread to see what happens next.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:32 | 4238645 Occams_Chainsaw
Occams_Chainsaw's picture does a body good!

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:36 | 4238651 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

State Capitalism!


It's the way of the future.
It's the way of the future.
It's the way of the future.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:41 | 4238659 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Here are some more excuses, for those Chinese media outlets that can’t even think up any decent excuses:

-Anything you want to do that’s illegal goes unnoticed.

-If your house gets robbed, you’ll never know it.

-It validates your smoking addiction. After all, compared to this, what difference does smoking three packs a day make?

-It eliminates the need for long-term care insurance.

-It doesn’t matter anymore how shitty looking your house, car, clothes, or haircut is.

-It enhances the chances of un-attractive people developing relationships based solely on their personality.

-It’s a great excuse for not showing up to work; “Honestly boss, I couldn’t find the office”.




Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:44 | 4238662 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Is it wrong for Me to dump my waste products and pollution into my neighbor's yard?

How about if I cart my waste products and pollution down the street and dump them in the yard of People that I do not live directly adjacent to?

How about if I pay Someone to truck my waste products and pollution outside of town and dump them in the yard of People that do not live in my immediate community?

At what distance does the dumping of waste products and pollution onto Other People's property become virtuous and acceptable?

Answer carefully as You are probably not my immediate Neighbor...

-Don't forget that I am richer than You for a reason!


Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:42 | 4238665 nasa
nasa's picture

They should have hired the same PR team BP is using for the Gulf.  Queue the zdyeco music...  

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:44 | 4238666 nasa
nasa's picture

They should have hired the same PR team BP is using for the Gulf.  Queue the zdyeco music...  

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:49 | 4238673 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

Hey, you didnt make that smog, but if you like your smog you can keep your smog.


WOW Tyler that is unreal!!

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:50 | 4238676 MollyHacker
MollyHacker's picture

Coal fired power plant without scrubbers? That's what I was told.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:50 | 4239262 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Cement making, smelting, chemical manufacturing, forging... But also, like a billion people breathing out CO2 all day too.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:53 | 4238688 akak
akak's picture

I see .... dead people.

And a few over-the-top liars.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:56 | 4238690 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Take that (cough), you western industrialized bastards (gag, sneeze), we just (choke, wheeze) kicked your ass in (puke) manufacturing.

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 23:59 | 4238698 MarkD
MarkD's picture

Beijing looks fine.....

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:00 | 4238702 Kina
Kina's picture

Sino-smog - they should can it and export

Add some Fukushima and they can have Sino-Nipon-rado-smog good for the sinuses.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:04 | 4238703 chump666
chump666's picture

what a sh*t hole.

reminds me when I saw a doco of some wacko pro- nuclear industry nut saying radiation is good for you.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:07 | 4238713 Doubleth1nker
Doubleth1nker's picture

While we're at it, lets extol the unexpected benefits of printing money!  You will lose weight from not having enough purchasing power to buy food!  You will never run out of single-ply toilet paper ever again!  Our knowledge of how inflation systematically destroys the middle class and the poor will have increased significantly!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:26 | 4238720 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Alas, once again 'american' citizenism is eye blinding to advantage of gregarious smog. 'American' citizens also overlook trendy Intelligent Fragrant Chicken. Another example of seeking of symmetry leading to the inability to self-ignite. 

(Acknowlegements and regards to akak and The Fourth Stooge-ing)

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:18 | 4238729 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture Lord Acton put it - "All power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men."

The reason "Great men" - political leaders, specifically - " almost always are bad men" is that they can rise to power and eminence, and stay there, such as the world is and men are, only by duplicity, dishonesty, hypocrisy and fraud. And indeed, apart from that power corrupts anyway.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:24 | 4238743 W74
W74's picture

This is what happens when you don't watch interns.

Wei Tu Lo.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:27 | 4238746 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Ho Lee Fuk.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:52 | 4238896 Tebow
Tebow's picture

Sum Ting Wong

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 04:56 | 4238961 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Are we the Olduns Sunmi spoke about in the Future?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:30 | 4238750 OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

Looks to me like the planet really could use those Atmospheric Processors from the movie, 'Aliens'.


Of course the solution is for the Government to do that because it can just, borrow the money into existence to get it done. And then, to be certain, they would work as wonderfully as an ACA website/exchange. /s

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 00:51 | 4238782 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Oh great Smog, thou art beyond compare!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:14 | 4238822 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

There is nowhere to hide!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:04 | 4238807 mumcard
mumcard's picture

Think of the money saved on cigarettes.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 06:18 | 4239010 Peterus
Peterus's picture

Think of the profits that will be made on patching up lungs and cutting out tumors of all these people.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 10:57 | 4239446 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Hey, you better not be getting high on those fumes-you didn't pay for those!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:14 | 4238810 mumcard
mumcard's picture

Who needs ozone, we got China.  Fuck you al gore.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:17 | 4238824 iLiquid
iLiquid's picture

You must breathe it to know what benefits are in it!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 01:45 | 4238846 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

With the benefits of smog, radiation, pollution, airspraying chems, glyphosate and bombings we're becoming a one global happy community.

We can all apply to Obamacare for medical care, the FED, the ECB, the Bank of Japan and the Bank of China printing all the cash we need and high tech drones taking care of our security, NSA protecting our children's computer games and communications.

Smile, people, a New World is emerging in his shinning splendour for us to enjoy!


Thu, 12/12/2013 - 10:57 | 4239444 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Better living *cough* through chem*cough*istry.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:36 | 4238884 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

The cancer rates in China are about to sky rocket.


Time to call up all those overweight middle aged bitchy women to go do some "cure for cancer" in China and raise billions more.


Of course there will never be a cure for cancer.  The fat old bags are making too much cash trying to look important.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 02:49 | 4238894 kareninca
kareninca's picture

The visibility is so bad that they're aborting baby boys by mistake.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 03:43 | 4238918 MarcusLCrassus
MarcusLCrassus's picture

The Fox Newz of China

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 04:50 | 4238930 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Is a range of different smogs called a smogasboard?

Will it make the Chinese squint even more?

I suppose the smog provides great cover for anyone breaking wind.

Maybe it will be a bit of a problem for Chinese firing squads.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 04:53 | 4238957 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Wow, when did Backdoor Barry visit China and give them tips on what to say about this subject?

Sounds like his MO.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 05:53 | 4238998 dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

>>>-It validates your smoking addiction. After all, compared to this, what difference does smoking three packs a day make?


yeah now it makes like youre smoking six packs a day-no harm in that!

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 07:06 | 4239032 Satan
Satan's picture

If you like your smog, you can keep it.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 08:02 | 4239066 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

They seem to have left out how it makes one erections bigger and firmer, along with enhancing sexual appeal.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 08:52 | 4239117 flacorps
flacorps's picture

Paging Sir Hugh Beaver (for two reasons).

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 08:56 | 4239124 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture


China’s noxious air pollution has made people smarter, funnier and impervious to missile attacks,

They meant to say a missile attack would be redundant.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 09:40 | 4239225 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Where are the armies of environmental protesters? The global warming crowd?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 10:27 | 4239377 thelonegunman
thelonegunman's picture

are they run by Fox / Murdoch?

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 10:56 | 4239440 Reader1
Reader1's picture

Another benefit of China's smog is it covers up that unsightly country.

No more having to look at ugly rectangular blocks of crumbling flats, cranes and half-finished buildings, rubble heaps, polluted rivers, dead animals, etc.

Thu, 12/12/2013 - 11:54 | 4239630 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

President Xi Jinping released a statement -  he was not aware of the smog until he saw a story about it on the morning news.

Since he did not know about it - he does not think it is fair to hold him accountable for the problem.



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