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"X" Marks The Spot Of US Cognitive Dissonance

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One of these "forecasts" is wrong... do you believe in miracles?

 

 

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Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:37 | 4244016 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Since when does a .3% drop in GDP equate to a 8% rise in earnings?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:42 | 4244047 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Because Obama.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:56 | 4244105 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Doesn't everyone believe in miracles?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:01 | 4244122 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Bernankenomics says the world is wrong, only The Bernanke is right...cognitive dissonance?  What's that?  - Ben

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:55 | 4244516 ExecutionParty
ExecutionParty's picture

This chart is about as realistic as someone pissing and sneezing at the same time... its not possible and shit gets real messy real quick

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:13 | 4244154 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Lever it 30:1 and you can get 9%.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 17:35 | 4244711 bonin006
bonin006's picture

Didn't anybody here learn accounting tools from Goldman, like they used to get Greece into the EU? It is acually quite simple. Just borrow shitloads of money at low interest rates and buy back your stock. As long as interest/refinancing is available at low rates, EPS goes up due to less shares. If interest rates go up, the companies might have to issue more stock at a low price, or in the worst case go bankrupt, but why worry about potential future problems when there are bonuses to be fabricated today?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:35 | 4244017 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

gotta say it:

If you like your forecast, you can keep your forecast.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:26 | 4244893 nightshiftsucks
nightshiftsucks's picture

 What's with the down votes,fucking libtards don't have a sense of humor.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:35 | 4245449 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

The first guy to use the "If you like your........, you can keep your......... gag was a wit. Then next 100 were morons. Now it's just annoying. The down votes are for being a douchetard.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:42 | 4244051 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

As long as central banks keep creating money from nothing and throwing it at banks and corporations with reckless abandon while said banks and corporations (and central banks) fuck over the citizenry the pell-mell gumball rally ride to perdition will continue.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:27 | 4244898 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Yea, but it's winter, cold and icy outside, and my balance isn't getting any better with each passing hungry day.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:55 | 4245000 BigJim
BigJim's picture

I hope you don't mind, but I've been using your posts to generate random hashes for cryptogenic purposes.

Please don't stop.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:45 | 4244060 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

It will be what ever they want it to be. 

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:46 | 4244065 NIHILIST CIPHER
NIHILIST CIPHER's picture

Like the Nazi propagandist taught us.....keep telling the lie often enough and they will believe it. 

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:32 | 4244236 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Nien! Nien! Nien!

Herr Goebels nie gesagt, dass Sie mooken Idioten! Holen Sie es richtig oder halt die Fresse!

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels

Learn something??

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:00 | 4244308 Umh
Umh's picture

He worked as a professional liar for his government. He admitted to telling his citizens lies. So I really don't care if they literally misquote him they are getting the big picture correct.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:00 | 4244311 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

No.. Know your history or shut the fuck up!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:48 | 4244974 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

If you have facts to refute him, then share them with all or spare us your self-righteous interdictions to be shut up.. Your post is a waste of screen space and our time.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:33 | 4244412 stant
stant's picture

goebels seems quaint compared with what we have now

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 19:01 | 4245019 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Interesting. He was a fascist scumbag nonetheless, of course :-)

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 20:57 | 4245355 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

This is relevant because....????

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:31 | 4244830 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

Mein Kampf

"But it remained for the Jews, with their unqualified capacity for falsehood, and their fighting comrades, the Marxists, to impute responsibility for the downfall precisely to the man who alone had shown a superhuman will and energy in his effort to prevent the catastrophe which he had foreseen and to save the nation from that hour of complete overthrow and shame. By placing responsibility for the loss of the Great War on the shoulders of Ludendorff they took away the weapon of moral right from the only adversary dangerous enough to be likely to succeed in bringing the betrayers of the Fatherland to justice."

"All this was inspired by the principle – which is quite true in itself – that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods."

"It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying. These people know only too well how to use falsehood for the basest purposes."

"From time immemorial, however, the Jews have known better than any others how falsehood and calumny can be exploited. Is not their very existence founded on one great lie, namely, that they are a religious community, whereas in reality they are a race? And what a race! One of the greatest thinkers that mankind has produced has branded the Jews for all time with a statement which is profoundly and exactly true. He [Schopenhauer] called the Jew 'The Great Masters of the Lie.' Those who do not realize the truth of that statement, or do not wish to believe it, will never be able to lend a hand in helping truth to prevail" (p. 252-253).

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 19:07 | 4245034 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Careful there! You might find yourself sharing a non-ZH approved a cell with Francis Sawyer.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 19:32 | 4245107 Tim_
Tim_'s picture

In death, a member of Project Zero Hedge has a name. His name is Francis Sawyer.

His name is Francis Sawyer!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 19:55 | 4245173 starman
starman's picture

Majority of the Jews stayed in Germany till it was to late to leave!
Majority of the stockholders will stay until it's to late!

Laws of human stupidity or hope?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:46 | 4244067 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Mark to fantasy forever!

/s

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:48 | 4244082 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

"You can ignore reality,but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality".

Tick tock.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:50 | 4244089 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

If you are going to say it, say it right - tick tock motherfuckers.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:03 | 4244127 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Just being polite in case Santa is watching.

Amost tempted to short this 'market' , but thats as possible as Mr.Clauss.

The FedRes will annonce a Taper, and double down behind the scenes.

 

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:23 | 4244196 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"The FedRes will annonce a Taper, and double down behind the scenes."  -

yes.  Whether or not you and I can profit from it is another question altogether.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:00 | 4244312 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

The only Tapir that is true is the one on Trumps head.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:30 | 4244904 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Now it's time for a battle of the heavy weights, lets see who wins this one.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:34 | 4244417 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

If you are going to say it, say it right - tick tock motherfuckers.

 

If you going to say it, say it right.

Tick Tock bitches.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 20:37 | 4245296 itstippy
itstippy's picture

"Bichez"

Where is Slewie, anyway?  Slewie The Pi-Rat, Francis_Sawyer, and Trav666 were provacative and outrageous, but they gave Zerohedge a genuine edginess that I sorely miss.  They were completely politically incorrect fight-clubbers.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:42 | 4245464 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

Don't forget Rocky Raccoon

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:54 | 4245505 akak
akak's picture

Rocky told us all multiple times why he was stepping back from posting on ZeroHedge (although he does appear now and then), and Trav got banned, as I felt he actually deserved for all the threads he totally hijacked, but whatever became of Slewie (who simply HAD to be semi-autistic, in a delightful kind of way) and some other former long-timers, I have no idea.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:48 | 4244074 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Looks totaly legit to me! We've got market wide 'valuations' 6X higher than 1990 levels, certainly the only place to go is UP UP UP reality be damned!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:50 | 4244086 Blano
Blano's picture

"X" Marks The Spot Of US Cognitive Dissonance.

You've been outed CD.  That's what you get for being a guest poster.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:52 | 4244096 Herdee
Herdee's picture

Have faith in endless printing to stay afloat.Relax.The stock market is everything to Greenspan and all his whacko Keynesian idiologists and holds the key to economic recovery.Didn't you know that if you throw enough money at something it's got to work?Only trouble with fractional reserve money printing experiment at the current levels is that the assets backing the debt are literal garbage and the FED has checked into the Roach Motel.Once you check in,you can't check out.If you try,some big cockroach with a Louisville slugger is going to waste ya when you walk out the door.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:54 | 4244098 SofaPapa
SofaPapa's picture

Just a random language note here.  GDP.  Gross Domestic Product.  Domestic as opposed to international.  Funny that we are talking about "world GDP".  According to that, we should be using this information to help compare with trade flows to...?  Mars?  Alpha Centauri?  We need to pay attention to the changes in our thought processes being required by this concept of the world as one large single market.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:30 | 4244227 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sorry, but paying attention is not allowed.

Please report to your nearest FEMA camp, ASAP!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:55 | 4244100 amadeusb4
amadeusb4's picture

I don't understand how both the S&P Forward 12 mo EPS estimate and the Negative to Positve guidance ratio can be correct. I'm talking about this chart from several days ago: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-12-09/seeking-guidance#comment-4231106

 

Anyone?

 

Thanks

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:56 | 4244108 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"I see nothing wrong from where I sit." - Cognitive Dissonance

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:05 | 4244137 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

Quoting Ben Bernanke again I see.  Too much of that mountain air?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:16 | 4244166 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'm Gellin' for Yellen.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:31 | 4244407 Blano
Blano's picture

What does Mrs. Cog think about that?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 19:37 | 4245122 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Mrs. Cog just rolls her eyes when I say something corny like that. She knows nobody is interested in an old broken down fuddy duddy like me.

<Except her of course. And I count my lucky stars nightly for that.> :)

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:04 | 4245372 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Like a fellon?

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:30 | 4244222 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Do we really think habitual gamblers would ever be pessimistic except in the briefest of moments? I would be shocked to see any graph of stock market expectations that is not positive. It seems anyone short is routinely murdered, so of course it is up, up and away! Naysayers are constantly criticized as outliers and "the stopped clock is always right twice a day" theme invoked suggesting that any market downturns are but momentary "corrections" and not the norm or indicative of anything but "profit taking". What a fucking game!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 14:58 | 4244112 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

YES!!!!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:02 | 4244126 OwnSilverPlayMusic
OwnSilverPlayMusic's picture

Today: The Dow has always been 16000.  Tomorrow: The Dow has always been 6000

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:22 | 4244191 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

+1 for Orwellian goodness.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:42 | 4244954 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

+2 for DoublePlusGood-ness, the highest praise possible.

W. Smith

1984

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:03 | 4244129 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

Lay off enough people and earnings can still increase even with a reduction in GDP --

 

At least until it doesn't.

 

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:31 | 4244235 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Yes, I too was considering firing my remaining few employees and stiffing my suppliers and customers simply to experience the incredible high of a "profit". Its been too long.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:07 | 4244141 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Let me tell you baby, you ain't nothin but a two-bit, no-good jive.

Went to sleep last night, worked as hard as I can,

Bring home my money, you take my money, give it to another man.

I should have quit you, baby, such a long time ago...

Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg.

Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg.

The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:09 | 4244335 falak pema
falak pema's picture

sounds like a melon, a lemon has more savvy. 

A bowler hat of banker is the best melon in town! 

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:16 | 4244178 docmac324
docmac324's picture

Tis the season to believe, in God's work.

 

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:36 | 4244247 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

buy back enough shares, ... yes.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:41 | 4244256 fuu
Fri, 12/13/2013 - 15:53 | 4244288 Flying Wombat
Flying Wombat's picture

Everything is so distored with all the "money printing" that both forecasts could go either way and the stock markets for major economies might still have a net positive year in 2014.  Currency debasement is being partially hidden, while financial assets (other than precious metals) are the chosen outlet for financial inflation.  It's a clusterfuck.

Eric Dubin, Managing Editor, TheNewsDoctors.com

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 16:19 | 4244361 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Divergence, bitcheez.

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 18:54 | 4244992 Sleepless Knight
Sleepless Knight's picture

Put a few stars on that chart and the south will rise again!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 19:33 | 4245113 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Why not?

 

The South was right!

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:09 | 4245386 Notarocketscientist
Notarocketscientist's picture

Enlighten yourselves

 

http://ourfiniteworld.com/2013/10/23/rising-energy-costs-lead-to-recession-eventually-collapse/

 

http://ourfiniteworld.com/2013/12/06/diminishing-returns-energy-return-on-energy-invested-and-collapse/

 

http://ourfiniteworld.com/2013/10/14/two-views-of-our-current-economic-and-energy-crisis/

Fri, 12/13/2013 - 21:13 | 4245393 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Gosh Dangit. How many times I gotta be telling you the S&P index has nothing to do with earnings any more. FED's got software and that is what controls the indexes. Most any programmer could do the same. I mean you would have to believe that after all the counterfeiting and comingling of funds that the FED has done that they would not simply take over the markets. I think they have in late December 2011.

Sat, 12/14/2013 - 18:04 | 4247020 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

I need my perception managed to lift my spirits but cannot bear the nonsense on the tv anymore.

So its off to the package store for some spirits to lift my perception.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!