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Thursday Humor (And Epic Stupidity): Ditching Final Exams, Harvard Style

Tyler Durden's picture


While we joked on Monday this week with regard the Harvard evacuations, we were still a little shocked that, as the NY Post reports, a Harvard University student was due in court Wednesday after prosecutors said he made bomb threats to try to get out of a final exam. Eldo Kim, 20, acting alone, sent the bomb hoax messages to five or six Harvard email addresses he picked at random (via the Dark Web browser Tor), about half an hour before he was scheduled to take a final in Emerson Hall, one of the buildings threatened. The maximum penalties for a bomb hoax are five years in prison and a $250,000 fine - plenty of time to study there...


Via NY Post,

The U.S. attorney’s office in Boston filed a criminal complaint Tuesday against Eldo Kim, 20, alleging he sent hoax emails saying shrapnel bombs would go off soon in two of four buildings on the Cambridge, Mass., campus. The emails came minutes before he was to take a final exam in one of the buildings


The threats led to the buildings’ evacuation Monday, shutting them down for hours before investigators determined there were no explosives.


Harvard said it was saddened by the allegations but would have no further comment on the investigation.




An FBI affidavit says Harvard determined Kim had accessed TOR, a free Internet product that assigns a temporary anonymous Internet protocol address, using the university’s wireless network.


The affidavit says Kim told an agent Monday night that he had acted alone and sent the messages to five or six Harvard email addresses he picked at random.


He said he sent them about half an hour before he was scheduled to take a final in Emerson Hall, one of the buildings threatened...

Of course, in a world of little to no consequences, why would we be surprised at the awful lengths Kim went to in order to avoid the finals...?

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Thu, 12/19/2013 - 22:59 | 4262672 Oath_Keeper
Oath_Keeper's picture

Epic stupidity is how he got into Harvard.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:03 | 4262688 ACP
ACP's picture

I wouldn't consider Harvardites smart, just connected.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:06 | 4262693 Alethian
Alethian's picture

Money FTW.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:10 | 4262710 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Make a $1 million dollar donation or be a drug mule in Pakistan, the administrators will find you a place.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:34 | 4262790 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

His next school is either Penn State or State Penn.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:37 | 4262802 ACP
ACP's picture

Or maybe just...


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:35 | 4262909 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

consider this:

after he threatened to blow the place up, he then required that everyone pass through x-ray screening, then he installed surveillance cameras in everyone's room, then he forced them all to pay for insurance

couldn't ask for a better example of a future leader.

frankly we are more than a little bit in awe.

presidents george and bho 

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:42 | 4262925 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

He should have just made it POSSIBLE to rescue the Kobayashi Maru, not destroy it!!  Then he could have been captain someday!!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 11:20 | 4263752 superflex
superflex's picture

Most Harvard grads wait until they enter politics before they become criminals.

He's just that far ahead of the curve.


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 04:13 | 4263150 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Columbia or Darthmouth

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:08 | 4262705 max2205
max2205's picture

What country is he on visa from....good job Harvard.....no snoop heads up on this? Someone's not justifying their jobs in DC

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:10 | 4262708 90's Child
90's Child's picture

Isn't he the same guy that shot up Georgia tech?

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:55 | 4262836 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

all of us koreans look alike to you, huh?

and it was va tech, not georgia, duh!


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:04 | 4262863 mofreedom
mofreedom's picture

I don't look like you, you yellow circle, I am true krean.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:34 | 4262910 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Dont worry, we should all try and be friends as we all have one common enemy...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:52 | 4262939 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

....but many more uncommon ones

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 01:22 | 4262990 The Final Straw
The Final Straw's picture

My wife is Korean. They don't ALL look the same. A few don't have the means to afford plastic surgery.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 07:20 | 4263259 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

It is just typical American BS



Have a good laugh..

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:49 | 4262829 chindit13
chindit13's picture

In point of fact, there are people who attended who were non-legacy absolute nobodys who just happen to have gone 800-800-4.0-Valedictorian with letters in a host of sports.  Oh, and drop-dead good-looking to boot.  Of course, I wouldn't know of anyone who fit such a description.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 11:04 | 4263701 BraveSirRobin
BraveSirRobin's picture

Ord Wingate lives!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 01:51 | 4263018 Freddie
Freddie's picture

They are also not very ethical.  I have known a few.   Deport this Eldo Kim and his whole family.  Knowing Harvard - they probably will not expel this idiot.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:13 | 4262719 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

They should go easy on him. He's just a kid. Can't even buy alcohol. He had no intent to harm anyone. Didn't want to take a final. Who hasn't thought about that at some point in their life? Okay, he was a moron for actually trying to pull it off and thinking he'd get away with it. He did get out of the final so his plan technically worked. Bright kid. Now I understand how he got into Harvard. There will be consequences of his actions. JPM and GS are coming up to Cambridge to interview and try to hire him.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:45 | 4262820 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

woulda been smarter if he had just pulled the fire alarm before class

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:29 | 4262901 RideTheWalrus
RideTheWalrus's picture

He should of used the dark web and TOR to protect his identity....... oh wait.....


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 02:00 | 4263028 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I laughed my ass off when I read that he used Harvard's wireless Internet to send his email.  What a dope. 

He could have gone to the pubic library or Starbucks or come up with a better plan or maybe studied. 

Yeah and Obama graduated with a law degree there. Sure.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 02:19 | 4263044 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

SilverIsKing - there is a world of difference between someone thinking about doing something like this and someone actually doing it.

It falls into categories such as 'maturity' and 'self-control'.

A couple generations back, 16 year olds were adults. Now 20 year olds are kids.

We've sure come a long way baby.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 03:28 | 4263128 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I was half kidding in my comment. He should definitely know better and should pay a price for his actions. 5 years is a bit much though. Not sure what the right punishment is but he obviously suffers from a lack of good judgment. I say toss him from school, 15 days in jail, and 3 years probation feels right to me.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 05:12 | 4263196 SunRise
SunRise's picture

uh- and remember to have him pay the bill for other people's time, wear and tear on all the locks, forensic investigations, and personal interviews.  Of course, he may receive some donations from other students who hadn't studied and are grateful for his brave deliverance.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:50 | 4264344 NickVegas
NickVegas's picture

It's much more fun when the mad bombers pre-warn. When, exactly, did a mad bomber pre-warn? Just refresh my memory. I know there is an example somewhere. Just jog my memory a little bit. As SunRise does point out, it is a unique profit opportunity for many who can bill at the criminal mad bomber threat level. I remember now, from my days at the brainwashing institute, it's supply and demand that determines prices. I remember. What was his threat matrix score? That is the really interesting question, how did he score on the NSA threat matrix. It could support their position, if they had him high in the matrix. They should publish these scores so we can keep track at home, like a football game.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:15 | 4264529 Trampy
Trampy's picture

It's much more fun when the mad bombers pre-warn. When, exactly, did a mad bomber pre-warn? Just refresh my memory. I know there is an example somewhere.

Ted Kaczynski, the mathematician and "Unabomber"

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:28 | 4264596 NickVegas
NickVegas's picture

I like it, and now tell me where all your extensive knowledge of Ted Kaczynski's mad bombing originated. Heck, on cable there is probably a "documentary" explaining to you all of his crimes, and the just punishments delivered for your safety. I don't know the truth, but I'm skeptical about the basis of my knowledge, maybe that is my message, but yes, you are correct, he fits the mold perfect, and that bothers me too. Wasn't he a Harvard grad?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:48 | 4264671 Trampy
Trampy's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 11:08 | 4263724 BraveSirRobin
BraveSirRobin's picture

My bid is that he must be forced to listen to a compilation of Al Gore speeches. Of course he will be insane by the end. On the other hand, this will just be a better fit at Harvard - a successful educational outcome in their eyes.

Oh well, one man's torture is another's re-education.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 07:48 | 4263289 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Deo vindice wrote...A couple generations back, 16 year olds were adults. Now 20 year olds are kids.


Yeah...Right...I was Sixteen a couple of generations ago. I am a member of the Baby Boomer Generation. Then there was Generation X...Currently, NOW, we are in the Millenial Generations. You can check this out on Wikipedia.




The Baby Boomers are "a couple of Generations ago", the word, "couple", meaning TWO.


Sixteen Year Olds were NOT ADULTS in my Generation. In fact 16 Year Olds were NOT ADULTS in the "Silent Generation" which preceded the Boomers.


If my folks knew of just half of the crap that I had pulled off as a kid then I would have been killed...by them.


Yes 20 Year Olds did not even have the Right to Vote in my Generation until very late. The age to vote was lowered to 18 in 1972.


We sent KIDS off to DIE in Vietnam. It is no different. We send KIDS off today to DIE in Afghanistan. Oh they are Men? BULLSHIT.


Give me a break. What nonsense. I hope that you do not have kids.


College kids are kids. They are streching their wings and learning to fly. But they are still kids. It was that way when I was in College. It was that way when my nephews were in College. It is still that way.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 08:30 | 4263334 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

20 year olds, 30, 40.....60, 70....infantalized.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:55 | 4262949 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Epic stupidity got him both into and out of Harvard.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 02:43 | 4263076 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

This guy is more than qualified to be erected plesident.

Epic stupidity is displayed by the Academics and Stasi falling for one of the oldest/easiest tricks in the book.

Beyond epic is the stupidity of Amerikans failing to question this horseshit.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 04:20 | 4263155 The Final Straw
The Final Straw's picture

Epic cheating likely got him in. Korea is the only country to have SATs (American) cancelled nationwide due to cheating.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 06:35 | 4263232 The Final Straw
The Final Straw's picture

Had he paid his ?? (chongi=teacher's bribe), this whole silly mess could have been avoided.

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 22:58 | 4262673 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

five years?  if he was at home he'd be short some internal organs

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 06:27 | 4263229 The Final Straw
The Final Straw's picture

Actually, if you claim to have been drunk at the time, you can get away with, or with a reduced sentence, for most crimes in Korea. Rape seems to be the most common.

~Mr. President was drunk when he falsified that birth certificate.~

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:03 | 4262682 PLira
PLira's picture

Knew the minute I got the alert that this was going to be a hoax. Will be interesting to see what his ultimate sentence and probable expulsion will be.

If daddy is a big contributor, he'll get off light; if not, PMITA for a year...

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:05 | 4262697 Clockwork Orange
Clockwork Orange's picture

It means the NSA needs to take over TOR and every other aspect of the internet.  For our own good.

Oh, wait ...

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:47 | 4262822 Excursionist
Excursionist's picture

Speaking of the NSA, this actually raises a great question:  just exactly how was this student tracked down?

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 23:51 | 4262828 white_guy
white_guy's picture

he did it all while logged into the harvard wireless network

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 02:15 | 4263039 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Yeah - I skimmed the story above and then reread it and saw he used Harvard's wireless.  The professor should flunk him just for being that stupid.  Hopefully they will expel him but knowing Harvard they will get him a interview at JPM, Goldman or the NY Fed.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 11:03 | 4263708 pong
pong's picture

That still doesn't explain the tracking-down process: the data leaving his computer would be burried in several layers of encryption (hince the Onion reference in TOR).  All the university routers would show is a connection to Sweden on a random port with unintelligible data crossing--- hardly a smoking gun to a bomb threat.  My guess is he used some mail program to send the email that leaked some traceable data in the message, or a webmail service that was traceable back to him.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 12:34 | 4264021 Recognizer
Recognizer's picture

"Security researcher Runa Sandvik points out that the originating IP address would have been revealed in the email header, which would have indicated Tor usage.) Suspecting a Harvard student was behind the threats, agents checked to see if anyone had accessed Tor through the local wireless networks. That led them to Kim, who promptly confessed."




Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:25 | 4264647 Trampy
Trampy's picture

Hahaha, Guerrillamail https://www.guerrillamail.com/tos thinks they have my IP but it's my VPN's server IP, which I can put anywhere from Moscow to Mumbai, the long way round, with a free account no less.

No need for AirVPN with its open SMTP.  He could have used any number of offshore VPNs to send those Guerrillamails and they'd have a hell of a time finding him.

What a dolt.  If he had bothered to look at the ToS page he would have seen a Harvard U. IP address.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 00:03 | 4262861 the 300000000th...
the 300000000th percent's picture

They apparently already have

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