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Friday Humor: Barney Frank Joins CNBC

Tyler Durden's picture


Presented with 'shockingly' no comment...



We are sure Frank's arrival will fix this...



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Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:03 | 4264128 Buzz Fuzzel
Buzz Fuzzel's picture

What is he going to tell us we don't already know, that Fannie Mae is in good shape?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:06 | 4264137 One And Only
One And Only's picture

What brand of bleach works best for bleaching your Asshole.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:09 | 4264151 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Meanwhile, Mark Haines is spinning in his grave. (my favorite Barney interview, EVAR!)

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:12 | 4264167 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Congressman Frank may need a little make-up before he is ready for his close up.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:13 | 4264174 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Good pickup imho, CNBC needs to get more the gay audience..


Gay Sex Advice with Barney Frank, weeknights at 7:00pm after you listen to more Great Stock Pick Advice from Jim Bear Stearns Cramer

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:19 | 4264211 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

With but a tiny bit of imagination, I think we all can smell a little more humor than normal coming by on a Friday...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:47 | 4264345 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

I hope he will interview Phil Robertson on the first show he does. 

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:53 | 4264382 kralizec
kralizec's picture

A frank discussion of dicks, pussies and assholes...


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:58 | 4264414 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Looks like CNBC decided not to turn their back to Barney Frank, and for this, I cannot blame them. Never turn your back to Barney's Frank.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:59 | 4264436 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

budumpshhh!!  (for this and all the other good zingers on this thread)

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:24 | 4264579 Clint Liquor
Clint Liquor's picture

This surprises me. I was expecting CNBC to pickup Martin Bashir.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:51 | 4264692 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Well they sure won't be getting Duck Dynasty from the looks of things as I hoped!

And where is Sam Kinnison when we really need him for this one!?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:35 | 4264890 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

'They' are just softening the blow for the masses to accept the 1st gay world leader in the maybe at least start with a significant national/political leader.


Pope Francis was named person of the year - in a gay rights mag.

Also, notice how thier isnt much shock factor anymore these days - just normalize the perversions.


Dont tell me their isnt a gay day it will be 'gay' to be heterosexual (again, they want to flip everything on its head)

Divide and conquer the weak minded and spirited.


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:00 | 4265010 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

+1 for the Sam Kinison mention.

"My view of life is, if you are not going to go to heaven, why miss it by two inches?" - Sam Kinison

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:30 | 4265125 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Nah, he's just there to blow Leisman after Santelli rips his asshole every day...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:48 | 4265195 starfcker
starfcker's picture

Softening the blow? What, you don't consider bathhouse a leader?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 17:11 | 4265278 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

This hiring brings a terrifying new meaning to the Fed yelling BOHICA at the short players when he analyzes it.....

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 18:43 | 4265486 remain calm
remain calm's picture

Well the cocksucker viewership will rise.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:28 | 4264247 janus
janus's picture

yes, quite, the gay tsunami continues apace:

i'd say recent events represent a high-water-mark...the tide is moving back.  and, gosh, after such a sustained and force-full tsunami, you gotta know there's gonna be some cultural under-tow.

sure, cnbc, this is how you ramp ratings.  

anyway, gay-mafia, beware the undertow...just lettin you know.

for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:36 | 4264274 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

off topic... janus your story about Lil Kim on the williambanzia7 post is one of the funniest things I have ever read... thanks

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:39 | 4264300 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

They're trying to pick up all the jilted Duck Dynasty viewers. Brilliant move!

"Trading with The Gays. What gay friendly stocks should you own?" Written in all capital italics...

Week nights at 9pm. Special one hour "Vegan Vagitarians"


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:14 | 4264178 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Please tell us that's a California starfish and not what it appears to be.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:30 | 4265133 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Chocolate  starfish...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:15 | 4264181 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:15 | 4264190 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

The Brain Bug from Klendathu.....looks like a fat Alan Greenspan

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:21 | 4264212 malikai
malikai's picture

"They sucked his brains out.."

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:20 | 4264207 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Oh My GOD! I thought that was one of the brain bugs from "Starship Troopers"...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:24 | 4264221 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Pray tell, what does that  @BarneyFrank mean anyway???

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:42 | 4264322 nightshiftsucks
nightshiftsucks's picture

Wow that's just amazing,GDP will be up at least 1% due to all of the computers that will need to be replaced due to their owners looking at that pic and promptly blowing chunks all over the keyboard.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:02 | 4264453 nightshiftsucks
nightshiftsucks's picture

How many pounds of flour do you think it would take to find the wet spot ?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:18 | 4264549 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

<--- Hipster Brain Bug from Starship Troopers

<--- Federal Reserves new mascot. Mr. Banks

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:28 | 4264609 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

The Lord says to turn the other cheek.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 20:06 | 4265632 Umh
Umh's picture

That's a lot of cheeks.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 20:38 | 4265712 Umh
Umh's picture

That's a lot of cheeks.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:10 | 4264169 ACP
ACP's picture

Somehow I knew this would be on ZH the second it came out.


Now they can officially change their name to "CNBS".

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:16 | 4264198 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Ha ha ha!  + 1

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:30 | 4264910 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Merissa Ree developed a negative attitude and questioned the fake numbers, so was shown the door.

Bawnee will never question the source of his pension.  Bawnee is a natural addition to lie on a fake platform.

And since when does a retired government leech, who sucked off the taxpayer his whole life, get announced as being a "contributor"?  More like "CNBC is pleased to announce we've hired another leech to suck off the host, as this latest addition has proven throughout his life to add nothing to humanity."


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:47 | 4264355 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

The second it "came out"...I see what you did there. Nice, very nice. 

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:52 | 4264387 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Bearings have to be vewy, vewy careful, what with steel balls and a hole in the middle.  Not to mention lubrication is just a fact of life in a rolling bearing...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 18:25 | 4265444 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Go "all ceramic" and you'll find your lubrication worries are a thing of the past, for most conventional applications.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:09 | 4264156 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Whatever happened to Bawnee Fwank, the ZH poster?  Gave us a chuckle every time.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:37 | 4264286 NIHILIST CIPHER

I knew when Barney Frank got a pass decades ago for sexing up on little 16 year old senate pages that they had some  DIRTY DEEDS for him to do in the future. And boy did he do them....right Barney? Sell out the country to keep your skanky ass out  of prison where it belongs. When WE don't hold these slimy bastards to the rule of law, just look at the damage they can do. Eat shit and die traitor.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:03 | 4264460 pickupthatcan
pickupthatcan's picture

I look forward to reading his obituary.  Just like I did with Teddy and that turn coat Murtha. 

On the good news side, Kennedy has been sober for over four years now.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:07 | 4264141 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

The most humorous "Friday Humor" post ever. Is he going to be allowed to speak with the marbles in his mouth ?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:10 | 4264159 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Umm... those aren't marbles.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:20 | 4264208 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

...which begs the question... ....

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:17 | 4264200 eaglerock
eaglerock's picture

I'm going to need close captioning, because I can never understand a word the guy says.  And I grew up in Boston.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:12 | 4264171 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Naw, that ain't gonna happen.  His first report is entitled:  I'm Going Long Freddie Mac.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:26 | 4264240 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I just knew that today's Friday Humor would be, er, loaded up with fun for all!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:25 | 4264223 Event Horizon
Event Horizon's picture

CNBC has OFFICIALLY jumped the snark

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:27 | 4264232 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

Strange but that CNBC popularity chart looks like the Bears / Bulls ratio chart that Tyler has been posting time and again. The greater the bulls the lower is CNBC popularity ?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:05 | 4264132 One And Only
One And Only's picture

One more reason not to watch that piece of shit.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:06 | 4264134 RSloane
RSloane's picture


-pauses to take a breath-


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:10 | 4264160 Popo
Popo's picture

Today's newscast was brought to you by Bawney Fwank and the letter "R".



Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:32 | 4264255 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture




Watch your ass there, friend!


And now back to our regular programming.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:06 | 4264135 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

Must replace outgoing cumcatcher, in kind.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:09 | 4264138 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Sylvester the Cocksucker joins the Looney Tunes team at CNBC...I just might start watching again.

FRANK: " vewy, vewy quiet....we're huntin muppets."

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:28 | 4264245 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

why would ANYONE OR ANYTHING fuck that slobering, speech impedimented cocksucking joke?


Ms. Jackson if youre nasty!



Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:05 | 4264145 alangreedspank
alangreedspank's picture

Note how listenership matches bubbles peaks/bursts....but not anymore. This graph may be telling something else: a bubble will pop soon.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:08 | 4264149 jubber
jubber's picture

yeah they really need another person to suck Jamie Dimons dick...

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:08 | 4264153 JR
JR's picture

CNBC is going down the tubes. It’s time for Barney to jump on and ride it to the bottom.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:59 | 4265014 Seer
Seer's picture

Figured you'd be hanging out here with the talk of homos and all... (it's either than or Obama/Socialists)  You missed the good old days: the Crusades.

Gotta run, I don't normally spend time on obviously trite subjects (especially since I don't own or watch TV).

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:09 | 4264154 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

So it's official then.  CNBC does in fact suck dick.

<  Yawn >

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:09 | 4264157 tedstr
tedstr's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:10 | 4264163 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

never thought the toilet bowl of cnbc could hold a turd the size of bawney; he is better looking than maria, however

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:10 | 4264164 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

Bawney Fwank arrived just in time for their Christmas Special - "The Dance of the Sugarplum Faeries"!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:30 | 4264249 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:14 | 4264170 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    They better stock up on camera lens cleaner. That wisp th'is bruthal..

   I thought NBC had the rainbow colored Peacock?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:10 | 4264172 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

"Welcome to the Fudge Pack Hour here on the BlowHorn with Barney Frank"

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:13 | 4264175 IREN Colorado
IREN Colorado's picture

CNBC: A perfect storm of stupidity. A quantum reality of Ignorance. A Cluster Butt F&*! of SNAFU's!

"On any other day, in any other place, that would seem a bit odd...."

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:15 | 4264195 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Don't touch the bunny.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:12 | 4264179 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Thats right CNBCockSUkErs, with your ratings falling like a premier league footballer from a far away tackle, the best and most informed decision you make is to employ this fat cunt?

Aye, that'll work you fucking borderline retards, employ one of Americas most hated men to improve ratings?

Fuck me, I give up.  They make this too easy like, far too fucking easy for my liking.  Barwney Fwucking Fwrank??

Cock sucking cunts.


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:14 | 4264185 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Wall Street and the banks never had a better friend than that bitch.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:14 | 4264186 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Barney Frank belongs in prison, not on TV.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:57 | 4264722 B.J. Worthy
B.J. Worthy's picture

How would locking him up in an all-male environment be punishment?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:19 | 4264201 Screwball
Screwball's picture

They should have him co-host a show with Larry Kudlow.  That might have some value.  Entertainment value, but at least value, something the other shows severely lack.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:18 | 4264204 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

dear god... this is the equivelent of the Mets signing Kenny Powers the actor

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:18 | 4264206 jomama
jomama's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:33 | 4264224 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    I can't wait to see a spirited political exchange between Bawney Fwank and Mewissa Hawwis Pewwy over @ MSNBC. I'm TIVOing that one for my future grandchildren!


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:23 | 4264225 nightshiftsucks
nightshiftsucks's picture

Well at least when it's time to hang the criminals we'll know where to find that fat fuck.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:27 | 4264244 Lord Peter Pipsqueak
Lord Peter Pipsqueak's picture

What better appointee to CNBC after the disgraceful soft cross `examinations` he gave during Senate banking hearings over the last decade?

It just remains now, to see who can explain, justify or excuse, the increasingly desperate actions of the Fed more in upcoming episodes of CNBC - Barney Fwank or Steve Lies-Man.

If the two appear on the same broadcast I don't know which of the two - the reflex to puke or kick in the screen of the TV - in will kick in first.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:32 | 4264256 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Someone has to do the propaganda and damage control for a certain financial regulation bill that is written in their name. A bill that I suspect is going to be getting a lot of press and not good press either in the year to come.......




Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:04 | 4264455 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Barry is following Barney's scripts.  Talk a good game and even introduce "laws" that will slam Wall Street but of course behind the scenes make sure the "laws" have loop holes and collect the cash from those evil doers.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:35 | 4264270 max2205
max2205's picture

Thanks for the heads up....just asked fios to delete that channel

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:34 | 4264275 the black arrow
the black arrow's picture

I haven't tuned into CNBS for at least18 months.
The only thing that will get me to again select that channel is Barney the Frank hanging by his neck from a tree. That's all

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:35 | 4264285 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Maria B. used to get pretty irritated interviewing Bawney. I'll bet she's 1/2 way into a bottle of Dom right about now.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:21 | 4277635 optimator
optimator's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:40 | 4264290 conspicio
conspicio's picture

Possible show topics?


Why Dodd-Frank is great for you!

How I fought off the evil Bush Administration in regulating Fannie and Freddie

Steve Gobie can suck my Really! He can! errr, He did!

Teabagging...ahhh the memories!

Why Phil Robertson is wrong...and how tight man-ass keeps me sane!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:41 | 4264313 superflex
superflex's picture

CNBC really is digging in the mud going for this drama queen.

Maybe Barney's lover can teach us how to get pot delivered to our houses without getting busted.

Muppets R Us.


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:41 | 4264318 jballz
jballz's picture



going after that all important rent boy demographic.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:45 | 4264328 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture


CNBC is going to totally own the Marxist, gay, used to run a male prostitution ring out of his home, angry old guy audience.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:44 | 4264338 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

It's the Elmer Fudd hour, live, on CNBS

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:48 | 4264362 TradingTroll
TradingTroll's picture

expect more Hershey commercials

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 13:55 | 4264407 Seeking Beta
Seeking Beta's picture

They will need windshield wipers on the camera when this asshole is one

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:01 | 4264434 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

I'm pleased to advise Nick Dunn to keep his mudflap on.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:08 | 4264439 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Has anyone noticed with each new or revolving (BBG) journalist that the over exaggerated mouth jestering they exhibit is somehow supposed to emit the air of credibility? First Courtney Reagan. Then Josh Lipton and now Sara Eisen. They look like dogs with peanut butter stuck on the roof of their mouth. Hysterical!

When's Seabiscuit gonna hit that revolving door?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:04 | 4264451 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

What a freak show... "Keep it in the circus!!!"

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:03 | 4264459 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

i have always wanted to know what an old faggot congressman thinks...not

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:08 | 4264480 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

CNBS, the perfect spot for Barney Frank, Banking Queen

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:15 | 4264530 pcrs
pcrs's picture

I thought sinking ships were deserted by rats, not boarded

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:17 | 4264540 Michigander
Michigander's picture

Perfect, now that most of the country is on food stamps we want to see Barney licking Boehners ass clean while he blows Obama. Now THAT'S bread and circus.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:29 | 4264600 exartizo
exartizo's picture

ya just can't make this stuff up.

so now its CNBCLBGT.

hmmmm....has a nice (sick) ring to it....kind of rhymes and rolls off the tongue.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 14:29 | 4264605 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

Oh My - That peice of fucking shit....seems the more curropt you are the more money you make

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:20 | 4264836 UndergroundPost
UndergroundPost's picture

It only makes sense - since CNBC has been taking it in the ratings rectum for years now, they're finally owning up to their shit-on-dick status by publicly bringing on those who have also made their living getting sodomized. Plus, with the inevitable collapse cuming soon, the bright lights (yes, both the REAR lights and the HEADlights) at CNBC are planning a new installment to add to their "Need Extra Cash" series called "Homosex Brothels for Dummies - How You Can Make Profits Up The Ass"

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:25 | 4264883 Nue
Nue's picture

Quick!! Hide the 16 year old male interns!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:33 | 4264924 esum
esum's picture


Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:42 | 4264951 innsbrooklad
innsbrooklad's picture

CNBC...they like gay guys????

Only way to get the ratings up..Is Barney going to do fashion and menus too!~

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:45 | 4264955 billsbest
billsbest's picture

What happened to A&E - I thought that network was the LGBT network hangout? Oh well, probably just a spat, girls will be girls.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:45 | 4264966 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

On a more serious health note, does daily gargling with 'throat yogurt' lead to speech impediment?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 15:52 | 4264990 esum
esum's picture

WATCH host pull a gerbil or 2 out of his ass...

watch the EMS pump a gallon of cum out of his stomach ...   

watch unnamed fluids drool down his chin as he speaks in tongues...

What time slot.... opposite the DuckDynasty show of course






Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:05 | 4265024 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Hopefully they provide him with an attractive spit rag, for all that spittle that collects in the corner of his mouth when he is talking. Fucking gross that is.

Reminds me of Sylvester the cat. 

Sufferin Succotash!!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 18:30 | 4265457 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Spittle?  That ain't spittle.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:40 | 4265169 gratefultraveller
gratefultraveller's picture

Bawney Fwank - the new money honey?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 16:49 | 4265216 masterinchancery
masterinchancery's picture

They can call it Schmuck dynasty.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 18:26 | 4265449 GTO
GTO's picture

You rectum he will be doing a daily anal-ysis?

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 18:29 | 4265454 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Now viewers will be subjected to hearing the word thtimulous dozens of times per day.

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 19:33 | 4265572 Blasher
Blasher's picture

Bloomberg here I come !!!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 22:32 | 4265959 Joe_in_Indiana
Joe_in_Indiana's picture

Just tell me when Santelli is on, otherwise I'm gone.  

Bring back the ghost of Mark Haines to hackle at Frank.

They give Santelli only 6 minutes a day for his clarity of the markets, but others are allowed to drone on!

Fri, 12/20/2013 - 23:44 | 4266077 Promethus
Promethus's picture

Phil Robertson out of television and Baloney Frank in. Sign of the times. The end is near.

Sat, 12/21/2013 - 15:16 | 4266903 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

What a trade!  This must be devestating to Maria's ego.

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