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Sunday Humor: Alan Greenspan Fought Deflation... And Deflation Won

Tyler Durden's picture


Unlike stocks, which see rising prices met with apparently rising demand, it appears the natural laws of supply and (lack of) demand have come to weigh on Alan Greenspan's latest un-mea-culpa. As we noted previously, even at a steeply deflationary 40% off, The Map and The Territory seems 'expensive' and for once, the maestro is unable to blow a bubble in this particular "asset's" value.


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Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:12 | 4269500 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

I wouldn't even use it as TP.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:15 | 4269504 john39
john39's picture

they killed trees to print that shit.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:19 | 4269512 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Its tainted now. A biohazard. 

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:30 | 4269536 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Just a mummified scumbag married to a mummified scumbag

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 23:06 | 4269837 markmotive
markmotive's picture
Bob Hoye--Collapse Of Central Banking Is On The Way

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 06:39 | 4270307 fx
fx's picture

That's a thick volume to say "I never had a clue about virtually anything and never will..."

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:36 | 4270409 RabbitChow
RabbitChow's picture

He got an upgrade at some point.  Of course,  friend told me that if you haven't done the upgrade by the time you're 40, forget it.  Of course, if he married her when he was 40, should would have still been in pampers.  Either that or being Fed chairman really ages you.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:42 | 4269556 max2205
max2205's picture

If he writes like he talks..not interested

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 23:08 | 4269843 VD
VD's picture

just wait till his ponzi stock market discounts 40% and then another 40% after that...all (pre) engineered by his collegues of course...

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:58 | 4269582 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

depending on the list price it may actually be economical as TP, ironically thanks to no one more than Alan Greenspan himself

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:18 | 4269627 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

Especially if shipped to Venezuela

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:37 | 4270411 RabbitChow
RabbitChow's picture

Pages are really rough.  Not just the writing, either.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:13 | 4269501 alphamentalist
alphamentalist's picture

don't worry. copies of this work will make the acceptable collateral list soon enough. you should buy now to avoid getting taken advantage of later.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:43 | 4269503 explosivo
explosivo's picture

What % of Americans don't know who he is? 90%?

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 01:08 | 4270080 Pareto
Pareto's picture

99%.....there fixed it for ya.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:20 | 4269509 rlouis
rlouis's picture

the publisher should claw back the advance

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:27 | 4269524 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Do you really believe that publishing this book was a business decision?

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:22 | 4269513 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Hey, they're wasting a lot of ink printing worthless fiat, why not waste a little more printing his worthless book?

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:23 | 4269522 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Unfit for a bird cage. 

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:26 | 4269526 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Greenspan is a bad person.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:00 | 4270363 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

....and probably the ugliest person in the world.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:29 | 4269532 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

can't even use as toilet paper ... worthless ...

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:42 | 4269554 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

                                  ...sure it has value (???)
British thermal unit

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:31 | 4269533 Tasty Sandwich
Tasty Sandwich's picture

Alan Greenspan Net Worth

It's good to be in the club.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:33 | 4269539 suteibu
suteibu's picture

A rather paltry sum for an insider.  He must have followed his own advice.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 09:35 | 4270505 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Rothschild flunkys are worth less than they let on.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:32 | 4269544 nickt1y
nickt1y's picture

He thinks he is in the club. The real Club starts when you can buy a Senator and goes up from there.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:41 | 4270424 RabbitChow
RabbitChow's picture

The Robertsons of Duck Dynasty are worth far more.  Each of the Robertson family has a share, with Phil Robertson at $15 million, Willie with $20 million, uncle Si at $5 million, and on and on. 

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:29 | 4269534 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

It's not forcasting to predict fire after setting the blaze.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:45 | 4269561 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"My Life as an Alchemist Turning Lead into Rust"


Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:51 | 4269565 DOGGONE
DOGGONE's picture

Mr. Greenspan,
Here is the Real Dow from 1924 to now, including your 12/1996 warning.
This red trace includes much action, subsequently reversed. Please annotate this red trace, LOUDLY.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:55 | 4269580 chump666
chump666's picture

40% off! haha

Who the f*ck buys paper books anymore?  Inflation/op costs etc etc etc.  Dead as dead you burnt out old relic.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 22:01 | 4269685 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

I do. I prefer them for a number of different reasons, but mainly because I can hold them in my hand, and know that the contents of them won't change (sort of like barbarous relics).

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 20:56 | 4269584 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I've taken several 40% haircuts over the years thanks to this asshole.........

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:02 | 4269585 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

40% off, America. Is that a bargain?     (foreshadow forecast?)

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 11:14 | 4270732 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

No, no. Not a forecast. 40% off was the debt overhang in 2008.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:01 | 4269587 breakyoself
breakyoself's picture

On Amazon, this garbage in hardcover is marked down to $18 from $36.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 22:25 | 4269735 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

That's not the price. That's how much they are willing to pay you to read it.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:06 | 4269600 Reaper
Reaper's picture

I thought the Fed would buy up all the copies and give them to schools for their special education classes to honor their former Dear Leader.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:10 | 4269603 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Is there a twist ending where we all wake up and it was just a bad dream?

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:11 | 4269606 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

This book will join Mein Kampf on future historian's bookshelves - in the 'destroyer of nations' section...

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:01 | 4270368 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Ironic you say that because Hitler's economic policies transformed Germany and got rid of the international central banker clique.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:11 | 4269614 SKY85hawk
SKY85hawk's picture

The Maestro has lost his touch regarding Personal Credibility/Integrity.

Dec 1996 He warns of Irrational Exuberance.  Pretty clear, but early.

2013 he says "we din't see nutthin comin'

I forget his quotes about the housing bubble, perhaps other members remember a few?


Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:25 | 4269637 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

You have to wonder if the publisher will print more copies of this book to make up for the 40% discount.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 22:58 | 4269794 Pseudonymous
Pseudonymous's picture

That will probably be the strategy for Bernanke's book. And who knows, maybe Yellen will introduce negative fees at libraries for her book.

In any case, for those that have their education paid for by the government they're all required reading.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 21:25 | 4269638 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Title's all wrong.  American's like sex, if he retitles it "How to Screw Over The American People" then he has a best seller.  Of course he'd have to add new content...and tell the truth... nevermind.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 22:21 | 4269730 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

File in bargain bin/ suitable for lighting fires pile next to Hank Paulson's memoirs. Height of arrogance to think anyone is remotely interested in what these two criminals have to say about anything.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 22:36 | 4269763 moneybots
moneybots's picture

Not into fiction.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 22:56 | 4269806 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 23:29 | 4269893 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Exactly William.  This looks like quite the garage sale junker table specimen although I don't know that I would even give it that much credit because the title is all fucked up.  It should be entitled, The Map To Douchebaggery:  Theft, Lies, Planned Economic Failure And How I Profited From It All At Your Expense.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:59 | 4270445 Duude
Duude's picture

It looks heavy enough to make a wonderful doorstopper.  Doorstoppers stocking stuffers.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 09:40 | 4270508 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

I have a wobbly antique water closet I might be able to shim up with that thing.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 11:39 | 4270783 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Don't take my down vote personally, William.  I'm just mad because I can't embed images in my comments.  And I know html and stuff.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 23:03 | 4269830 michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

"and for once, the maestro is unable to blow a bubble in this particular "asset's" value"

There will be a short covering rally fueled by QE monies to get this hardback into the black.  Expect a sell out of this printing.  Maybe even a Pullitzer, or Nobel award in the makings here.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 23:07 | 4269841 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Greenspan and Bernanke's effort to inflate also meet the government's ability to destroy and economy and deflate.

The common element on both sides of that equation is the fallacious belief in the abilities of the genius central planners.

Sun, 12/22/2013 - 23:31 | 4269891 Playtime's Over
Playtime's Over's picture

I'd like to see Andrew Jackson emerge from a time machine and beat the shiiiiit out of Goonspan and Benny with a big stick.  Saaawheet

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 03:00 | 4270175 markar
markar's picture

It might have done better if Bernie Madoff had written the forward.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 04:06 | 4270219 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Ok, so Greensapn is worth $10MM ? He was paid 180k / yr from 1987 to 2006. In 7 years he made $9MM ?

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:55 | 4270441 Duude
Duude's picture

Did you think he was unemployed before taking office at the Fed?  LOL 

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 07:23 | 4270328 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

I have it. It scores much higher on the arse wiping scale than conventional toilet paper.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 08:56 | 4270438 Duude
Duude's picture

Greenspan has not alternative but to rewrite history. Ten years from now, the author will be Ben Bernanke and he'll have his own spin.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 10:28 | 4270624 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Criminals should not be allowed to profit from their crimes by writing books, making movies, etc.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 10:39 | 4270655 tradewithdave
tradewithdave's picture

The entire concept behind the book was "buying time and selling distance" as we move from two-dimensional models to triple entry accounting.  With Ricardian contracts such as Bitcoin where the receipt is the transaction and the map IS the territory Greenspan gets off scott free following the planned demolition because of the paradigm shift.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 11:57 | 4270846 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

<-- The Map And The Territory - Alan Greenspan

<-- How An Econony Grows And Why It Crashes (2013 Edition) - Peter And Andrew Schiff

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 13:00 | 4271006 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

Horrible reviews on Amazon.  A great title from one of them:

Alan has learned, since 2008, nothing and spends 400 pages proving it

Seems the only people who still foolishly listen to these clowns are those in charge... because it tells them what they want to hear - you can borrow your way to prosperity.

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 13:06 | 4271019 akak
akak's picture

I wish the animated corpse of the malevolent bastard who used to be Alan Greenspan had more appropriately named his book "Capitalism, the Unknown Ideal, Part II, Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying About and Love Statism".

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