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Art Cashin Poetically Laments Bitcoins, Binge-Viewing, Boston, Baltimore, And Bargaining Brokers
"Twas the days before Christmas, and all across the street, not a human was trading..." but, as tradition demands, UBS' venerable director floor operations - Art Cashin - unleashes his annual poem. Summing up the year in amazing alliteration, Cashin takes on Bitcoins, The Fed, the Volcker Rule, and... Anthony Weiner.
Via Art Cashin,
A TRADITIONAL PRESENTATION
‘Tis two days before Christmas
and at each brokerage house
The only thing stirring
was the click of a mouse
Down on the Exchange
the tape inches along
Brokers bargained and traded
as they hummed an old song
The Fed kept on printing
yet few jobs did appear
But it's time to move on
so they'll taper next year
Boston won the World Series
Baltimore took the Bowl
But Tiger still struggles
to get the ball in the hole
From Bitcoins to Binge-viewing
brand new things did occur
And the Prez took a selfie
that caused quite a stir
There was a government shutdown
most folks called it a sham
And to slow down the Senate
a guy read "Green Eggs and Ham"
In Cleveland three women
finally freed of their fears
Held captive by a mad man
for nearly ten years
The Pope said he resigned
an occurrence quite rare
A new Pope named Francis
new sits in that chair
Back tried Spitzer and Weiner
they brought little to cheer
But it’s Christmastime, Alice
and Santa is near
So stop looking backwards
have a cup of good cheer
And kiss you a loved one
raise your hopes for next year
And amidst all the trading
Christmas themes we will heed
And share our good fortune
with families in need
And tomorrow they’ll pause
as we wait on the bell
To sing a tradition
a song for old “Nell”
Don’t let this year’s problems
impede Christmas Cheer
Resolve to be happy
throughout the New Year
And resist ye Grinch feelings
let joy never stop
Put the bad at the bottom
keep the good on the top
So count up your blessings
along with your worth
You’re still living here
in the best place on earth
And think ye of wonders
that light children's eyes
And hope Santa will bring you
that Christmas surprise
So play ye a carol
by Mario Lanza
Unless you are waiting
to celebrate Kwanzaa
Hanukkah’s over
And Ramadan’s gone
Different folks, different holidays
yet each spirit lives on
Whatever your feast is
we hope you all still
Find yourself just surrounded
by folks of goodwill
Tuesday, as the bell rings
hark to your heart’s call
And as Santa would shout
Merry Christmas to All!
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Art you are no limerick king. Now go down some ice cubes and wax nostalgic about some nonsense
I unleashed the term Jeremiad here a few weeks ago. This is a mildly neutered christmas jeremiad.
* A jeremiad is a long literary work, usually in prose, but sometimes in verse, in which the author bitterly laments the state of society and its morals in a serious tone of sustained invective, and always contains a prophecy of society's imminent downfall.
Merry Christmas Zerohedge, my present to you (again) is the word Jeremiad.
After all I do for you the best you can do for a gift is a word?
Here is a word back for you. Cheapcocksucker.
Stuff in your stocking and merry fuckinh Xmas.
In what I can assure you is a serious overture for all the wonderful guys here, I do have a christmas prize pack but it has to be claimed in calgary.
It includes a white cowboy hat, a bro hug and a night out with me and my twin brother. Fair warning, being of nearly 100% ukrainian I am cast iron from eyehole to A-hole and have an auto pilot ( i.e. the bility to operate in an altered state ) that rivals most people's state when they have all their faculties.
p.s. between the that I am recently divorced, and my brother and myself have an electrifying 2 man show with unsuspecting cosmopolitan women here, bring your A game LOL!
ObamaCare's here
To take care of the ill.
The only thing lacking
Is paying the bill.
difficile est saturam non scribere
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satires_(Juvenal)
get this guy an ambulance he's having a stroke.
This selective MOC imbalance tracker is an annoying mother fucker.
It was a few days before christmas, when all through the mall
not a shopper was stirring, having been tapped out in fall;
Firearms were hung by the bunker door with fear, in hopes
the world's ending would soon appear;
The brokers were nestled all snug in their beds, smiling as
another client was burned instead;
Yellen in her robe, and Bernanke in his cap,
had just settled down for some printing tip chat;
When out in the street there arose such a yammer,
Bernanke shoved Yellen, to see what was the matter;
Away to the printer he flew like a flash,
Tore open the out bin and threw up the cash;
When, what to his quantatative eyes should appear,
but good old Satoshi and his software engineers;
More rapid than HFT his miners they came,
to verify the blockchain and make sure things were sane;
Up to the top of the charts, the valuation flew,
and the wealth went global, to poor people too;
Bernanke was aghast, Yellen agape,
this Bitcoin it seemed, wasn't designed to rape;
Down the chimney Satoshi came with a bound,
standing before them, holding his ground;
He was proper and tall, confidence itself,
and Bernanke laughed, in spite of himself;
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
filled Bernanke and Yellen with a cold sense of dread;
He spoke a few words, while clasping his hands -
"You two should be ashamed, for screwing over the land."
"But I create jobs!" Bernanke he cried, and as for Yellen,
well, she nearly died;
Satoshi just smiled, and before he was done, turned and
said "Bitcoin has won.";
He adjusted his coat and went up the flue,
as Bernanke and Yellen wondered what to do;
And as he took off, to the sky in flight, they heard him say
"Screw the bankers, and to Bitcoiners a good night!"
90 seconds I will never get back :(
You read the whole thing? I had to stop when he started going on about Tiger putting his balls in a hole. I thought for sure he meant to say hoe.
Fuck off banking scum.
that's pretty harsh .... even for Christmas
What has Art Cashin ever done to you directly to be so anti-seasonal?
He works for a bank.
Seems, that UBS (a Swiss Bank with a German as P of the board and also primary dealer) needs to pay him........what for?
Bullish!
There was a time when I actually took interest in what Art had to say. That was when the fed's balanace sheet was about 4 trillion dollars smaller.
It's all about Bob Pisani now.
"And amidst all the trading
Christmas themes we will heed
And share our good fortune
with families in need"
I'm sure that verse got a lot laughs from his buds. I hope your christmas tree falls on you and electrocutes you to death you parasite.
That cheered me up. Thanks.
Is he getting paid for this shit?
Oh Really???
I took it to apply to anyone who read. I did so with the thought of where my wife is from (poor country, but still happy people), and with this quote from/by Scott Nearing in mind:
Oh damn, I thought there was going to be something about Baltimore in this one. It was the only reason I clicked the article. We should really talk about all the foreclosed homes I drove by on North Avenue and Greenmount on Saturday. Oh, and all the Liberians, but that's another matter entierly.
Die already you fat drunk fuck
Easy now, he is not your Dad.
I guess guillotines is to hard to rhyme..
Here's a few that'll get you close:
byzantine, gasoline, kerosene, libertine, limousine, magazine, nicotine, philistine, quarantine, serpentine
The Turks they are revolting
The Swedes are in a mess
The Thai Baht keeps on sinking.
The Irish they digress.
The French ignore all warnings
The Danes just sink in debt
The Finns are suicidal
The Russians won't say Nyet
The Bitcoin Ponzi is raging
Gold is on the floor
Art is no longer cashing in
But Stolper we adore.
Wow this thread is fucking depressing...I'm going off to shoot a dog....
god that sucked
I can only manage a Duck Dyanasty Merry Christmas to all.... Here goes...
"well these little things Art has said
forgot to mention audit the FED
insanity QE has this appointment smelling
on the Same old sh#t by the name of Yellin
Harry stopped Cato and Jefferson with filibuster dead
leaving Rand powerless to stop criminal FEDS "
Art, Where ya been? I was getting worried. You look good
It probably sounds better when a fat old guy with a red nose actually says it, rather than just reading it here on ZH...
Art is about 10 years past his sell-by date. He works for a television studio. He should have quit when Grasso and Johnson left...
Can only imagine he doesn't want to retire and have to re-meet his spouce of 40 some-what years.