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Picturing Apple's Biggest Failures

Tyler Durden's picture


We all know Apple’s greatest hits, but which products and services would Apple’s leaders rather forget?


Apple Failures


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Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:52 | Link to Comment quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Wow, some of those prices are just crazy ass high.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:58 | Link to Comment zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

Apple believes in cult mentality.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:06 | Link to Comment SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

maw maw lets me play with her message pad sometimes when she's not using it


Tue, 12/24/2013 - 22:18 | Link to Comment MeMadMax
MeMadMax's picture

The only thing that saved apple was a mp3 player and a phone...


If they had kept on making the original product type(computers) that the company was founded on, they would've flopped long ago...


They should rename Apple Computer to Apple Novel Toys(ANT)...

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 22:38 | Link to Comment zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

I think 99c/song on iTune helped.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 23:02 | Link to Comment Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"The only thing that saved apple was a mp3 player and a phone..."

That's kind of the opposite of the old joke, "aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 07:05 | Link to Comment Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Is remind Boris when Russia is save Jewish people from Nazi horror, is ask, "other than starvation and slave labor, you are not so bad shape, no?"

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 14:09 | Link to Comment SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

wow, boris (if that is your real name)

dark disturbing depressing demoralizing message on this blessed yule day

plus 100

obligatory wiki link

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

You can, of course, play into this strength if you are shrewd. It is not uncommon to buy a Mac on a 10% discount (if you know how), use it for 6 months and then resell it for the same or even more than you paid (eBay prices are crazy for anything Apple). Just use the cult market to your advantage.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 01:29 | Link to Comment Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Too much work for 10%. I just use it till it dies. 

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 07:08 | Link to Comment Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Boris' PC is always seem to die. IBM, Compaq, Dell, HP, all is seem have short life. Bad cap on Mobo or PSU? Like to hurl out window of apartment some day.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:07 | Link to Comment Freddie
Freddie's picture

Filled with retard Libs who love O and the State.  I hope the NSA/police state crap hurts Apple cause they support the O-police state.

Pippin was awesome. His dad Charles Martel kicked the Islamics arses.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 21:25 | Link to Comment Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The difference between Apple and and Microsoft is that Apple stops selling things that are broken.  Microsoft just rolls the crap into a new release.


Tue, 12/24/2013 - 21:28 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

no, apple crap is broken out of the box compared to what ms had to offer and it was crap too.
Seriously, a mouse with ONE BUTTON?
fucking wankers.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 04:40 | Link to Comment e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

"...and you'll see why 1984 won't be like 1984."

Now it's hipsters and douchebags using overpriced mediocre products (typed from my macbook air). 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:17 | Link to Comment icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

My last Apple purchase was a Mac Quattro, back in 1995. Even then it was way too expensive. Only Apple product I've ever owned that was worth its purchase price was an Apple IIe back in the mid-80s.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:49 | Link to Comment So Close
So Close's picture

Seems like a "sour grapes" article.   Apple has produced a bunch of great products.  This from somone who is not an Apple fan.  But credit is due where it is due.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:12 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Only firms never had a bad product are those in the beverage industry when reviewed by practicing alcoholics.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:19 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. has never made a bad beer.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:56 | Link to Comment H H Henry P P P...
H H Henry P P P Paulson's picture

When every beer in your lineup has the exact same taste as your most popular best-seller, then yes, it's easy to never brew a bad beer.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:01 | Link to Comment dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Narwhal rocks.........

Ill be enjoying some 'Torpedo' tonite

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 21:42 | Link to Comment stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

i always suspected that about you, dick cheney, that you enjoy a stiff 'torpedo' now and then...

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:04 | Link to Comment 666
666's picture

Thunderbird and Muscatel are my best friends.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:54 | Link to Comment thethirdcoast
thethirdcoast's picture

I've owned an iPod Hi-Fi for several years and the sound quality is actually pretty good. It can fill a room with sound more easily than you'd expect.


With a first gen iPod nano it makes for a great alarm clock or just some background music in the bedroom.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:55 | Link to Comment SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

I'll stick with my androids.   At least there I know who is spying on me already.   Anyone got a secure PC and phone OS?

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:55 | Link to Comment Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

There's some open-source efforts that are coming about. They're probably going to be the only ones you can partially trust - because when you get down to it, the legacy baseband radio software in every cell phone lies underneath the phone OS, and is riddled with ridiculous zero-day vulns like accepting a command to pair to a tower or download a binary.

Just depends on how you use it, best case is just getting a "dumb" phone and use it as if someone is recording you, which they probably are, "metadata" and all.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 22:02 | Link to Comment Yenbot
Yenbot's picture

Anyone got a secure PC and phone OS?

No such thing. Broadcast what you WANT known, and whisper secure shit to one listener with terminal cancer.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:53 | Link to Comment Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

Just wait until the Chinese have had enough of the razor-thin margins of making their iDevices. In fact, I recall reading that some orders had to be cancelled because of declining demand. I'm sure it won't stop Apple from making the new dual-tone silver/gold iPhone6 with a popstar screened on the back, because they're getting really good at making retreads of a prior idea.

They'll probably go the same way as other product lines that started out as interesting and unique, but got diluted to hell by design-by-committee and needing to "statisfy stakeholders" in returns. Most of their product line now smells of desperation to capture the prior glory they once had.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:05 | Link to Comment economessed
economessed's picture

How did the Newton excape this list?

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:23 | Link to Comment OwnSilverPlayMusic
OwnSilverPlayMusic's picture

Eat up Martha

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:27 | Link to Comment AGuy
AGuy's picture

"How did the Newton excape this list?"

And the Apple ///  Also a colossal failure.


Tue, 12/24/2013 - 23:35 | Link to Comment stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

because it wasn't a failure - it was just ahead of its time.


Wed, 12/25/2013 - 14:40 | Link to Comment TORNasunder
TORNasunder's picture

My thoughts exactly. I had personal experience with one for months because of my employer, an unabashed Apple fan. It was a failure but it also was a direct predecessor of the Smart Phone of today. Imho it was an idea and product ahead of the available tech at the time.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:30 | Link to Comment Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Merry Christmas, ya’ll

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:31 | Link to Comment Debugas
Debugas's picture

Apple products always were and are too expensive.

Too high price of apple products is exactly the reason why Microsoft Windows took off and won over

It is true that apple products are better quality than microsoft but in the real world price is also important

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 20:22 | Link to Comment the0ther
the0ther's picture

Yes cost was a factor in the PC winning, but not the main reason. The software available for PC is why it won. A person had to pony up a grand to get a command line on old Macs. All PCs came with programing features out of the box. 

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 15:12 | Link to Comment Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Bullshit. Command line? A grand? For $30 you could get Lightspeed C and write all the programs you wanted with menus, mouse just like any application on a Mac. There was no "command line" because it wasn't DOS and any application that even remotely looked or acted like DOS was doomed to failure.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 21:26 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

except earlier on MS only made software, and later when MS made hardware it was easily as durable compared to Mac items. Possibly a $9 mouse wouldn't be but if it was only $9 you could get 5 of them and just wear them out and not care.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

MS did make some hardware for the Apple ][. It was a RAM expansion card that plugged into one of the slots. I still have mine.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 00:04 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

well, son of a bitch.
That's what I get for not having opened one up back in the day when I had the chance.
Thanks for the correction.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 14:55 | Link to Comment TORNasunder
TORNasunder's picture

The Mac had fantastic software, and superior software when it came to graphics and audio, and in fact was a far superior machine until at least Win 3.1

The two factors that kept it from winning the PC war was price and Apple thumbing it's nose at the business community (see Apple's 1984 commercial; In the 80's and 90's Business sales was the PC market.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 23:44 | Link to Comment Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Bill Gates bailed out Apple back in the day...

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:22 | Link to Comment idontcare
idontcare's picture

Hey, don't knock the Lisa.  I ran my 1st office off a Tandy 25000 and a Lisa with a few HP 500 Lasers (I think that that was the designation, could have been HP 550) and everyone thought that we were the epitome of "high tech" - scary, very scary.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:20 | Link to Comment idontcare
idontcare's picture

Hey, don't knock the Lisa.  I ran my 1st office off a Tandy 25000 and a Lisa with a few HP 500 Lasers (I think that that was the designation, could have been HP 550) and everyone thought that we were the epitome of "high tech" - scary, very scary.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 21:18 | Link to Comment Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

What, no Newton or G4 Cube?

I own both and liked them at the time, though the Cube's long been gutted and the Newton's packed away.

Also, Apple III..

BTW, a few years ago you could buy Lisas and Mac XLs from Shreve Systems, but it appears they're all gone now.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 21:21 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Proud to have never owned a Macintrash product of any sort - and I never will.

I don't even like touch-screen devices. I'd rather have hard buttons or a holographic interface to a desk or wall, thank you.


Wed, 12/25/2013 - 02:28 | Link to Comment dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

look up Foxcon on Wiki-most  everything electric is made in china/foxcon; u/ dolt    suckerzzzz!

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 00:06 | Link to Comment MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Pretty sure my anti-Mac phase started before Foxconn existed and long before the iMac went to market.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 22:05 | Link to Comment americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

My wife and I were paying $800-$1000/month for printing specialty sample cards for our business back in the early 80's and we swallowed hard and ponyed up $3000 for a 128k beige box Mac complete with MacPaint software and a little B&W printer. Our printing bills dropped to under $100/month for ink and card stock and that little box paid for itself in a couple of months. Never looked back. We now have a graphics design business running with 100% Macs, several large Epson printers, and a couple of excellent German scanners. I have to confess that I use a HP laptop for writing my books but when it comes to layout I dump everything onto a flash drive and borrow my wife's Mac Pro desktop machine. I have to work fast though - she doesn't like me taking up too much of her quality time on 'her' Big Mac.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 23:05 | Link to Comment Yenbot
Yenbot's picture



I'll always remember opening up a (broken) Apple printer and seeing CHINA all over the parts inside. I thought, but wait! They're in Cupertino!

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 02:18 | Link to Comment squexx
squexx's picture

Yeah, they had some dumb products, but they've had some smashing successes, too!  Even Einstein and Newton fucked up on occasion!

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 02:34 | Link to Comment dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

lulz-slow news day? HEY! Plastic Men from Mars, 3 for a dollar at WALMART, while they last! Made in china.  yawn


oh yeah OS X (10.9>>>>>) from now on is free---comes with computer new-or when its time to upgrade its also FREE; How much you chowderheads pay for Windoze each time there is an upgrade=or the same "Antiquated OS"? -Walt Mossberg WSJ

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 09:47 | Link to Comment _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

I remember that shitty camera. And the Newton. Both died squirming in the mud, useless as tits on a boar.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 12:03 | Link to Comment suicidalpsychologist
suicidalpsychologist's picture

apple computers and OS were burried by microsoft and PC that are far more superior in all aspects. You could always do more for cheaper on windows computers. Aple has always been the unecessary pricey , shiney looking crap the local pretentious rich kid bragged about to his poorer friends, on purpose. And it always sucked compared to what you could do with a way more flexible, powerful computer.


Apple new generation gadgets are willingly designed to destroy themselves and so you cant repair them. They re outsourcing jobs so the labor can be cheap somewhere else were people are treated like slaves to produce first world's toys. Ressources are consumed for nothing.

Apple simultaneously portrays itself to dumb hipsters and now the masses as an eco friendly firm, when in fact everything in their methods proves they re just assholes manipulated dumb people. Most people cant create shit with their ipads and other crapy gadgets. It s only to entertain yourself, ignore other in public transportations or to keep the kids busy so they dont think too much and realize how vain, cruel animals we humans are. If you want to create stuff, you still need a desk and computer. These toys are just that, toys.

Apple has always been and still is overpriced crap for morons who think they re better than everyone else, have the need to show it off, prove it, cause they re convinced their shit doesnt stink for some reasons. Period.


It is seriously about time people realize what, who they are and how they survived so far. Eventually they ll disapear just like all brands do, to be replaced by another one that will keep the best of what they provided, without the cons. Nothing is created or destroyed, everything transforms itself -"evolve", adapts to survive- or something along those lines.


Complaining about how the world is bad and sad and buying an apple product is like saying mac donald produces shit fast food, and going there every week to eat hamburgers. It means you re an hypocritical clown. Humans will destroy themselves as certain as 1 and 1 make 2 .

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 12:09 | Link to Comment Tinky
Tinky's picture

While your entry was rather late, you are definitely in the running for having produced one of the 10 dumbest posts of the year (even setting aside your mangling of the English language).


Wed, 12/25/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

I'll second that.

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 13:19 | Link to Comment Ayn NY
Ayn NY's picture

OMG it's 2013 and the mac vs pc vs Linux argument shows no signs of abating. Give it a rest, it's boring 30 years on....

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 11:54 | Link to Comment messy
messy's picture

I like both Mac and Linux  but Im a cheapo ... so I installed Ubuntu linux and change the look to MAC OS X  following these instructions

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!