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Tuesday Humor: Don't Just Sit There, Flip Something

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Whatever one thinks of the New Normal economy, one sure can't say there is a shortage of flipping opportunities.

h/t @stalingrad_poor

 

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Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:36 | 4273768 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Especially since there are so many people to flip off.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:40 | 4273779 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

My sentiments exactly.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:52 | 4273798 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I think I'm gonna flip my wilson.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:08 | 4273840 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Frohe Weihnachten, Gold Hundin.

And a Happy New Year, though I don't like the odds.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:43 | 4273784 IPA
IPA's picture

I have a cousin in her late twenties, who has people throwing hundreds of k of dollars at her to buy rental properties (puget sound area), she said these people are expecting 20-30 percent return, she tells them 8-10 is a realistic percentage... This is not going to end well. 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:22 | 4273875 Evil Franklin
Evil Franklin's picture

They better hope the ring of fire doesn't become active in the Puget Sound region.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:47 | 4273905 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

At first I thought you were going to say she was a high-priced hooker.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:19 | 4273967 hondaicivic
hondaicivic's picture

I actually had to log in and gave you an up vote for this one. LOL!!!

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:16 | 4273963 Exponere Mendaces
Exponere Mendaces's picture

Well, seeing how that's in California - I'm not too surprised. What else is there to do, except work in technology or entertainment. (Mostly adult entertainment.)

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:31 | 4273997 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

As they say in Britain: "Are they flipping mad?"

 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 20:36 | 4274343 midtowng
midtowng's picture

No big surprise that this is Sacramento.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:38 | 4273773 Gandalf6900
Gandalf6900's picture

The flip flop nation

Merry xmas bitchez.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:38 | 4273775 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

They both pay about the same.........

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:11 | 4273855 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

...on average, but the standard deviation is much greater on one.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:40 | 4273777 Surging Chaos
Surging Chaos's picture

Merry Flipmas everyone!

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:01 | 4273825 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Putting the flip back in Flipmas!

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:44 | 4273788 docmac324
docmac324's picture

I'll be flipping gifts (regifting) tomorrow...

 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:46 | 4273791 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

No mention of flipping pussy? I hear its good money.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 20:15 | 4274326 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

i'll be flipping some of that tomorrow.

Along with the shit of 100 animals.

Horses, cows, dogs, turkeys, chickens, donkeys,...

The pussy is still my favourite.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:52 | 4273799 docmac324
docmac324's picture

Flip this!  (at work)

 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:52 | 4273800 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Taking the sign in its entirety--what it says, how it's written, where it's posted, etc.--says so much about the condition of the American people.

 

"First they rob you of your Liberty and product, then your savings. Then they come for your dignity and soul. Eventually they come for your life."

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:24 | 4273984 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Awesome Signs for Your Business!!!

Custom Made-To-Order

Same-Day Service

Cheap - Guaranteed to Generate Ridicule

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:55 | 4273805 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

Lollll

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:57 | 4273811 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Flipping only works if there are enough greater fools to flip to.  That flipping works in America as a career is an indictment of the stupidity, greed and corruption that has become endemic to America.

As they say in Hollywood, "No one has ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American people."

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:04 | 4273832 CH1
CH1's picture

"No one has ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American people."

Until they do, of course. Even stupidity doesn't go in a straight line forever.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:09 | 4273843 SILVERGEDDON
SILVERGEDDON's picture

Or, as P.T. Barnum said " There's a sucker born every minute. "

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 15:58 | 4273816 squid427
squid427's picture

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF ZH LAND!!!!!!!

and even you too MDB

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:01 | 4273820 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture
only in merica........ 'McDonald’s website advises staff NOT to eat fast food'

''McDonald's doesn't think its employees should eat the food they serve.

The fast food giant has advised employees to avoid meals with burgers and fries and to eat healthier options like salad and sandwiches.

The advice was dispensed on the now-infamous McResource Line, the employees-only website that has told workers to sell their things and get second jobs to make ends meet.''

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528903/Mcdonalds-website-advise...

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:04 | 4273833 SILVERGEDDON
SILVERGEDDON's picture

Flip paper for gold, silver, brass, lead, copper, and tools from Springfield - the Garand line of fine implements. 

Fuck paper, bitchez. 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:05 | 4273835 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

The sign forgot to write "Stawks" at the bottom.... 

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:09 | 4273842 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Merry Christmas To all the boys and girls of ZeroHedge!

May your coal turn into diamonds,

Your fiat into Gold

Jesus is the Reason for the Season

But Reason is enough to just let go!

Every man is your Bro!

Happy Holidaze!

Slappy New Year!

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:21 | 4273870 H H Henry P P P...
H H Henry P P P Paulson's picture

is the sign mocking the house flipping or the burger flipping? Perhaps the phone number directs to Hamburger University.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:45 | 4273900 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I've never flipped a burger for a loss.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:50 | 4273910 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Still flipping guns and ammo a full year after the made-for-TV Sandy Hook Hoax aired, but the market isn't terribly robust at the moment.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 16:55 | 4273923 The Heart
The Heart's picture

MAY WE ALL PRAY FOR PEACE WORLDWIDE...AND GOOD WILL TOWARDS ALL MANKIND.

FROM THE HEART TO ALL...MERRY CHRISTMAS...HAPPY NEW YEAR...AND YES...HAPPY HANUKKAH TOO!

BE THE LOVE YOU ARE.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:03 | 4273941 noob
noob's picture

Flip Wilson Show - The Church Of What's Happening Now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmJati2W7uA

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:40 | 4274265 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I almost forgot how funny Flip Wilson was...

Used to watch his show every week!

I thought flipping houses went out after '07!

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:21 | 4273977 jomama
jomama's picture

i came down to socal for the holiday.  on the radio, there are ads for people offering workshops training people to flip houses.  of course they were promising making 50k in less than three months.

sounded just like a University of Pheonix scam ad.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:31 | 4274134 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I was in Socal over the weekend too (hadn't been there in a couple of years) and was amazed to see all the 'flip houses and get rich bitch' billboards. Thought to myself, 'what the fuck is going on here...'

Saw some billboards for realty companies offering the deal of "we sell your house within 59 days, or we buy it." Sketchy sketch sketch.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:35 | 4274007 NOPOMO
NOPOMO's picture

When the music stops, the Burger Flipper will still have a job and likely more $$$s.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 17:40 | 4274014 Beard of Zeus
Beard of Zeus's picture

I'm going to flip countries and get the hell off of this stinking ship.

 

Chile, Australia, New Zealand, Costa Rica, and Uruguay are looking good right now.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 20:22 | 4274334 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Rent for a year is my advice.

Often better to hunker down where you're comforatable.

Latino culture can be challenging, especially when it comes to having guns.

You can bring your dogs but your favourite .45, not so easy.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 18:04 | 4274080 Blue Dog
Blue Dog's picture

You really can't "flip" real estate anymore. It's way too hard to get mortgages.

Tue, 12/24/2013 - 19:30 | 4274248 LMAOLORI
LMAOLORI's picture

 

Not so fast...

 

 

ROBOT SERVES UP 360 HAMBURGERS PER HOUR

 

http://singularityhub.com/2013/01/22/robot-serves-up-340-hamburgers-per-hour/

 

Automatic burger machine could revolutionize fast food A San Francisco startup has created the world's first fully automated burger machine — and it could be coming to a fast food joint near you!

 

http://www.thestar.com/business/2012/11/29/automatic_burger_machine_could_revolutionize_fast_food.html

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 01:38 | 4274656 rustymason
rustymason's picture

I guess it can just go on like this forever ...

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 05:33 | 4274753 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Until it can't!

Wed, 12/25/2013 - 07:16 | 4274788 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

I flip virtual pancakes online...part-time, and I make 5,000 bogus coins per year.

Woo-Hoo!

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