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The Job Market Is Officially Fixed

Tyler Durden's picture





 

We are happy to announce that the job market is officially fixed.

It was almost exactly a year ago when we reported that Delta Airlines received 22,000 applications for 300 flight attendant jobs in the first week after posting the positions outside the company. The applications arrived at a rate of two per minute. Said otherwise, the precious few lucky hires had overcome an acceptance ratio of 1.3%. Putting this into perspective, the acceptance ratio at Harvard, the lowest of any university, is 5.9%.

Fast forward to today and once can clearly see an improvement: over the weekend, Southwest Airlines Co. which last hired flight attendants from outside the company in 2011, received applications at a rate of only 80 a minute, getting a paltry 10,000 resumes for 750 openings.

"It was the first time we did that in a while, and of course anytime we do it, it’s like opening up the floodgates,” Chief Executive Officer Gary Kelly told employees in a weekly recorded message. “We knew it would be the same this time." So "this time is different" only works for the S&P. But more importantly, the Southwest acceptance ratio was a safety-school comparable 7.5%, or 13.333 applicants for every vacant spot. Comparing this to the 73.333 applicants that Delta got a year ago and one can see just how much "stronger" the US job market, not to mention the seasonally adjusted, inventory boost-driven economy has become.

Finally, consider that 2 years ago the Atlanta-based carrier received 100,000 applications for 1,000 jobs when it last hired flight attendants in October 2010, or 100 applicants for every spot. 

When one looks at this trend, what can one say but unmistakeable, unambiguous jobs recovery.

Actually, on second read, the way Bloomberg phrases it may leave on with a doubt or two about the bolded statement:

The deluge of applications in two hours and five minutes at Dallas-based Southwest also underscores the demand for work even as U.S. economic growth gathers pace.... New hires at Southwest will earn about $24.39 an hour and work a minimum of 66 hours a month, Dan Landson, a spokesman for the Dallas-based company, said in a telephone interview. Hiring for the positions will be completed in the next year, he said.

So, $24.69 x 66 = $1,610 per month, or $19320 per year... pretax. It was unclear as of this writing who gets to foot the Obamacare bill since the hours worked is below the full-time worker minimum.

Oh well, job recovery or non-job, non-recovery, all that matters is that the $160 billion in joint liquidity injection between the Fed and BOJ (and another $200 billion or so from China) has managed to push global equity markets to daily fresh record highs. In retrospect, why does anyone need to work. Just BTFATH.

 


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Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:30 | Link to Comment DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

What job market, I want to fly her to Mars and back.

Besides no one has any faith in the BLS numbers, the Census numbers or any numbers coming from the regime anyways.

Might as well spend what little time I have left enjoy the pleasures of the flesh with a nice well built, blonde.

DaddyO

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:32 | Link to Comment CognacAndMencken
CognacAndMencken's picture

Since corporate America is suffering terribly from lack of profits and worker productivity, it's a shame that they now have to worry about the health of their workers with the ACA straight-jacket. American companies should be allowed to abuse their workers to the extent that the free market allows.

Back on the hamster wheel!!! Forthwith!!

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:49 | Link to Comment ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

At least Delta workers get free weekly x-rays and the occasional gynecological or proctological examination.

Some get way more than others for unknown reasons however...

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:49 | Link to Comment zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

I think their time counts the moment door is closed till after landing the door is opened.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:07 | Link to Comment Shocker
Shocker's picture

Finally...... now we just have to wait for the jobs to come back.

Layoff / Closing List: http://www.dailyjobcuts.com

/

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:06 | Link to Comment vxpatel
vxpatel's picture

the invisible hand gives great rectal probes for free.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:37 | Link to Comment TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Coffe, tea, or me? Peanuts on the side.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:12 | Link to Comment Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

That was actually a pretty good book!! Read it years ago.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

If you like 'em plastic, I suppose... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78mJYxMk7sE

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:01 | Link to Comment ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Call me nostalgic but I find myself longing for the good old days when cavity searches were performed by dentists...

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:11 | Link to Comment Czar of Defenes...
Czar of Defenestration's picture

Mars?

I was thinking of saying to her, "Baby, fly me to Uranus."

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:30 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

New hires at Southwest will earn about $24.39 an hour and work a minimum of 66 hours a month,

Ding!  You are now free to lounge about your parents' basement.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 20:06 | Link to Comment Promethus
Promethus's picture

NO Obama Care for you!

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:31 | Link to Comment 666
666's picture

Ya gotta be nuts to want a job like that. Not only is the annual salary is below minimum wage, your life ain't worth dookie with the substandard maintenance the planes get nowadays.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

truth

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:24 | Link to Comment Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

In case the plane filled with kerosine crashes into the ground, put yourself in the upfront position....

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THEY HIRE BRAINDEAD PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT CRAP TO DO THE JOB?!?

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 20:41 | Link to Comment Freddie
Freddie's picture

Really sad.  The jobs are dangerous, the airports and TSA are horrible, the passengers are assholes and you get paid less than McDonalds.  Sickening.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:36 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  $1600.00 a month. Do the flight attendants stay in youth hostels when they have weekend layovers? Either that or they're hookers moonlighting as flight attendants.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 23:17 | Link to Comment Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

They do have flight attendant hostels of sorts in some cities

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:40 | Link to Comment max2205
max2205's picture

Quick...somebody tell hot chocolate boy!

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 19:52 | Link to Comment Gankfest
Gankfest's picture

And Cinnamon Crisp Man... Don't want to forget about the Minority... /roll

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:40 | Link to Comment cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

They forgot to mention that on 97% of the 10000 resumes received listed "consultant" as their last employer for the past 5 years?

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:42 | Link to Comment LMAOLORI
Fri, 12/27/2013 - 06:43 | Link to Comment dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

just like i dont buy their "Official" story about 911-they all lie-now the lie machine is working up to get us into WW3 in Iran=more "WMDs" to hunt for

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:43 | Link to Comment RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Being unemployed is a full time job

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

Flying the air ,unless you work for Alaska airlines then you get rashes and your hair falls out and nose bleeds ( nothing to do with Fuka) just colds.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 20:15 | Link to Comment MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

OOPS!

It WASN'T 'colds'.

It was the UNIFORMS!

http://airnation.net/2012/05/05/alaska-employees-uniforms/

SEE?

Look over here, please!

That's right, I'm from the MSM gatekeeping power that is, and I am here to help...

A frequent issue with 'new clothing' is that it causes hair to fall out, and skin rashes as well. MOST would think that this is because of nuclear radiation, but 'most' do not understand the intrinsic issues involved with 'New Uniform' Syndrome ('NUS'). Fortunately, 'doctors' have found the cause, and are now working on the 'cure'. Until then, it is suggested that 'people' such as yourself do NOT concern yourselves with such 'conspiracy theories' as 'FUKU'.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:48 | Link to Comment corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

can they qualify for SNAP?

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:54 | Link to Comment TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Looks like Stews would qualify for ObamaCare under the silver plan at about $138 per month.

They don't get gyn exams, TSA provides those for free.  

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 17:57 | Link to Comment NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I wonder how many they laid off or fired the last couple of years to make way for these 750 openings.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:00 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

What are these people stupid. Haven't they heard of Bitcoin.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 20:24 | Link to Comment MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

DAMN, DUDETTE!

Any post by YOU seems to find a way to talk about that CYBER-CURRENCY thingie...

I mean, you have NO redeeming qualities! Can't you even post with correct grammatical structure?

Hmmm...

WHAT does a 'troll' do, when one posts on blogs?

WELL, I suppose that eventually, a 'troll' forgets all linguistic rules, and simply FRONTS for the ones that he/she is employed by, in order to promote 'certain key words', like the one that pays them by the singular mention...such as 'BITCOIN'...

THERE, toilet-boi, I just made you another fifty whatevers...

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:06 | Link to Comment El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

With such stiff competition, I'm betting that the flight attendants will be getting better looking. Gotta have something to entice people through the TSA checkpoints. 

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:11 | Link to Comment swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

I was on a Delta Connection flight from Minneapolis to Toronto last year. It was one of those little regional jets, so while it said Delta all over it, it was probably Pinnacle Air or some other subcontractor.  There was a pilot, and co-pilot and a flight attendant.  The flight attendant and the co-pilot hadn't ever flown together before, but they were sure they knew each other from somewhere.  It turned out they both worked at the same TGI Friday's, just usually different shifts. 

I listened pretty closely to the safety talk on that flight.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:30 | Link to Comment Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Would you prefer fully autonomous flight? - http://www.flightglobal.com/blogs/learmount/2013/08/how-long-to-the-pilotless-airliner/

Or would you prefer the higher risks associated with piloted commercial aviation? - http://www.aviationsafetymagazine.com/airplane/landing-accidents-and-runway.html, or from an Australian perspective - http://www.atsb.gov.au/media/28363/sir199604_001.pdf

Next stop fully autonomous cars. http://www.technologyreview.com/news/520746/data-shows-googles-robot-cars-are-smoother-safer-drivers-than-you-or-i/ 

Already shown to be safer than "your average US driver", so they've GOT to be safer than your average Aussie driver - especially the ones who have a penchant for single vehicle accidents http://www.roymorgan.com/findings/5185-traffic-accidents-increasing-australian-roads-201309130049

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 19:34 | Link to Comment swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

No, I was just hoping for a flight crew that was paid enough to make a full-time job of it. 

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 21:00 | Link to Comment MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

@ swmnguy:

I saw the 'Delta Connection' flight, once.

ONCE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As2l3TIiEnI

Of course, this video does NOT represent the capabilities of the US-MIL-IND-COM to actually carry out drone flights (as outlined back in '84).

It simply tries to point out the abilities of the same to make those 'bloomin' onion rings', in a variant of the 'TGI Friday' corporate chain of restaurants. You see, humans are removed from the equation...and crash dummies are easily substituted...

NATURALLY I suppose that YOU, being assigned a seat next to one of the 'emergency exits', valiantly decided to maintain your position there (in case of a catostrophic event such as the one outlined, you would volunteer to help those in need, up to and including the very loss of your own life).

 

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:21 | Link to Comment SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

the worst part was of the 22,000 applicants, only 17 met the minimum qualifications. 

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:47 | Link to Comment disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

and they all listed "Vegas" as their last known address. "the last 17" they were called. Next up "beef jerky" for snack time.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 21:24 | Link to Comment MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Shit's gettin' bad there in Venice, I see.

I hear that in Hermosa, over 22 (well, the keyword 'over' was used, and this could range anywhere from 23 to 24!) of the so-called 'applicants' (always keeping the P.C. gradient replies in mind) managed to actually stand up long enough to take the applications out to the street (to fall down in supplication and worship the former sun-gods of their elder-hipps)...

Back off the 405 right, 20 minutes north of LAX, right before the climb in to the Cajon Pass, is Culvert City still there? It was becoming a cesspool paradise of flippers, shortly before I got out, lo those 25 years ago...

 

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 23:24 | Link to Comment Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

Skousen is that you again?

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:22 | Link to Comment Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

OKAY!!!

EVERYBODY WHO PUT A X WHERE THEY WHERE SUPPOSED TO WRITE THEIR NAME: PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE LINE....

...

really?!?

nobody left?...

...

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 21:28 | Link to Comment MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

What a CUTE lil' avatar!

http://publicintelligence.net/nasa-1970s-rpas/

It's like a brown GUMBIE, on STEROIDS, or something!

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:26 | Link to Comment Tasty Sandwich
Thu, 12/26/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Singapore Air - all the way there.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 19:28 | Link to Comment orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

weeeeeee!!!!!  jobs for everyone!!!!! weeeeee!!!!!

 

fuck off and die Barry you fucking cunt

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 21:13 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

To show up Bloomberg for Pavlov dog propaganda social engineering state media mouth piece it is.

“It was the first time we did that in a while, and of course anytime we do it, it’s like opening up the floodgates,” Chief Executive Officer Gary Kelly told employees in a weekly recorded message. “We knew it would be the same this time.”

That is the conditioned stimulus.

Now the unconditioned response.

The deluge of applications in two hours and five minutes at Dallas-based Southwest also underscores the demand for work even as U.S. economic growth gathers pace. The U.S. jobless rate fell to a five-year low of 7 percent in November, while the economy expanded at a 4.1 percent pace in the third quarter, government data show.

Now let's show it is not the same.

First off the last time they hired was in Feb. of 2011.

1. Those jobs were 30k- 40k full time jobs not 19k - 20k part time jobs

2. Secondly the unemployment was not at 5 year lows in Feb. of 2011 and the change from month prior to Feb and from Feb. to Mar. of 2011 was essentially flat and stayed pretty much constant until Oct of 2011.

http://data.bls.gov/pdq/SurveyOutputServlet

3. If they are implying it is the same then the GDP growth should come to stall just like it did in the Q1 of 2011 just like it did after growing in Q4 of 2010. But that is the associated stimulus and responses they are looking for concerning gdp or for unemployment.

Same thing happened 2012 when Delta hired concerning GDP and unemployment. Flat and declined same quarter.

http://www.davemanuel.com/historical-gdp-numbers-united-states.php

If it is the same this time around then Bloomberg's conclusions are flat out propaganda lies.

 

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 20:05 | Link to Comment MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

"Southwest Airlines Co. which last hired flight attendants from outside the company in 2011, received applications at a rate of only 80 a minute, getting a paltry 10,000 resumes for 750 openings."

 

I'm still trying to remember the last time I met an attractive Southwest Airlines stewardess.

The gay ex-bartender bois and old single mothers are definetely, um, NOT, on the list here...

SHIT! I would have KEPT flying, if they had women like the one pictured! The TSA fuglies would have been a mere 'foreplay' thing, if I could just SEE one of the blonde bombshells pictured...as she bent over her tray, trying to find those peanuts I want her to give me...

Are you sure that the last time they hired outside THE 'COMPANY' was 2011? I thought it was TWO THOUSAND (and) ONE...

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 21:06 | Link to Comment tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

when people scrape for 19,000/year, you know you live in  a 3d world country.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 23:19 | Link to Comment Incubus
Incubus's picture

poverty in 3d.  you'll get 3d loaves of bread to salivate over on your 90" flat screen.

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 23:30 | Link to Comment Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

on a relative cost basis, we're pretty close or already there.  But then again we have 3rd world quaity leadership...

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 21:09 | Link to Comment combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

So what are the odds of getting that $7figure investment to get "discovered" in Hollywood as a musician/actor and land a leading role in a major motion pics, vs. getting a job out on Main Street? 

The odds are literally the same.

I think the only job improvement is in the fiction aisle at some rinky dinky bookstore.  

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