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America Is Addicted To Porn

Tyler Durden's picture




 

With food prices soaring, and alcohol demand on the rise, it seems the American public is turning to the only thing left... porn. Every 30 minutes a porn video is made, 30,000 people are 'consuming' pornography every second, and the industry earns over $13 billion per year which has led to 200,000 Americans described as "porn addicts" - spending 11 hours or more per week online looking at porn... but what are the consequences...

 

 

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Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:42 | 4280685 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Dunno.   Animals fuck.  People are animals.  Saw cows fucking.  Told my kid, that is how cows make more cows.    Who knows how much cows think about looking at each others nuts and udders.  Dunno.  Could be worse than humans.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:43 | 4280696 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Idiot.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:48 | 4280701 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Fuck you and the whore shat you out.  

 

Sex is everywhere, punk.   Oh, I'll guess you don't look though.  Victorian cunt.  

 

These addicts will get callouses and turn to cooking shows next.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:54 | 4280723 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

LOL!!!!

Shat you out?    Great.....a fucking toothless Brit.

Hey.....still pissed off we killed a bunch of your crumpet eating ancestors a couple of hundred years ago.    LOL!!!!!

 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:00 | 4280751 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Can't wait for England to become the Western fringes of the Caliphate.

England....a country full of overeducated, arrogant drunks......and the center of World Evil......namely the Bank of England.

I would tell you to go fuck yourself in hell.......but you're already there having it done to you.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:15 | 4280772 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Jumbo, you are are real phuck nut.   Good luck.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:34 | 4280819 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Wow. And people here call me a troll when I argue against "the sky is falling" sentiments.

Comedy. Of. Genius. (I had to look up 'genius' to make sure I spelled it correctly.)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:28 | 4280949 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

This article probably states the condition of America more accurately than almost any other posted this year.

Addicted to self-gratification at someone else's expense, doing something to someone else's family that most would never accept having done to them or their's.

It is one sick society, and this is only one aspect of it.

America has lost its moral greatness and has become a veritable perversion of all that's good and wholesome in every way.

Someone once said, "If God doesn't judge America, He'll have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah".

(Hint to America: God never apologizes)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:48 | 4280986 lostintheflood
lostintheflood's picture

America has lost its moral greatness and has become a veritable perversion of all that's good and wholesome in every way.

 

+1000

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:03 | 4281108 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Cerebral control has given way to wanton humping and thumping.

Evolution sometimes shifts into reverse.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:46 | 4281163 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Is this the wrong thread to talk about Tapirs fucking the Bernanke?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:47 | 4281169 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

If watching porn is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:14 | 4281200 Dane Bramage
Dane Bramage's picture

"go away, batin'"

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:48 | 4281434 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

 

Ain't no law against it..yet - Cyndi Lauper

 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:10 | 4281444 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Oh yes there is!    A very successful long time local business owner got into watching kiddie porn on line. One day the FBI showed up at his business and arrested him for having child porn. After a harrowing trial along with bitter scorn and death threats from neighbors with kids, he was found guilty and sentenced to three years in Federal prison.  So now he's also a registered sex offender anywhere he goes too!   Isn't that great?

I'm no prude about porn but if you mooks think it's all fun and games,  watch your ass cause the Feds are watching your porn viewing !

And what an easy way to lose a job by watching porn at work on the company computers or through their WiFi connection on your iPorn!

 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:16 | 4281448 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

Pretty sure Cyndi Lauper wasn't talking about kiddie porn.

 

Let's not go there shall we?

 

Uncle Frank had the biggest collection of Playboy mags..but he was never arrested.....let alone charged.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 09:50 | 4281464 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

I agree about Cyndi's intent.  However my point being that people get lost viewing porn and unaware of the severe consequences of doing so in the wrong place like work or the wrong content like kiddie porn.

And those old Playboy mags must be worth some money now!  I'd like to see the one with Angie Dickinson again..

 

And a for America losing its morality watching porn ..  How many of you remember the movie "Deep Throat" being a national big hit film in '72!?

So this isn't anything new at all realy.

People are stressed as hell from this fucking economy and Obamacare and the wars and all the other shit government and media keep slinging at them 24/7

So they're looking at more porn as a stress relief more than anything.  And that's how it can become addictive like any thing else to reduce stress.

So forget this morality crap!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:47 | 4281545 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I will take this shit seriously when women's porn gets its share of the grief.  Trashy romance novels, soap operas, almost all of the pandering crap on TV.  ZH is getting more like the lame stream media every week.  There are real problems in the world.  This Hen's magazine rubbish should be left to the moron class.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:22 | 4281574 InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

ZH is getting more like the lame stream media every week.

 

fucking eh...

 

the truth hurts but needs to be stated

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 20:27 | 4282474 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

50 Shades of Grey

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:21 | 4281406 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

LMAO.. Can one be a "casual" or "recreational" user?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:22 | 4281571 InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

when is it ever inappropriate to say "fuck you, ben bernanke?"

 

never.... that is when...

 

what i don't get is the hypcrosiy in justifying the pro sodomy hedonists but faulting the pro heroin hedonists...

hedonism is hedonism

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:50 | 4281171 ich1baN
ich1baN's picture

I know Dr. Chuck Missler has said that before, but I'm not sure if he came up with the quote.... regardless he is one smart dude. 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:12 | 4281449 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

If there was no porn what would govt workers do then?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:09 | 4281561 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Good question.

Chicks give better head after they have seen it done right a few times. 

As they said in The King and I "you must be properly taught."

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:39 | 4281228 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Would you say commenting on an article, looking for upvotes might be considered yearning for self-gratificaiton?

America was never about about moral greatness. That is cute of you to think so. It has always been about getting something for nothing: colonization, leand runs, etc. It's not that difficult to grasp the idea that no one has moral high ground save the buddhists. If you own something, it came from someone who did not deserve it, Fuck it. You won't understand. 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 03:58 | 4281283 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Bunz - the comment I made on this article was not in search of up-votes. In fact, my conservative, biblical view would definitely be considered a minority in much of society.

You are simply wrong on so many counts:

1. America once was about moral greatness. Read some quotes of the founding fathers. One can disagree with many of their views on a variety of topics, but one area they did agree upon was the need for moral uprightness as a foundation of national greatness. Just a couple of examples to back up my assertion...

John Adams, (in his diary entry of June 2, 1778) ~ The foundation of national morality must be laid in private families.... How is it possible that Children can have any just Sense of the sacred Obligations of Morality or Religion if, from their earliest Infancy, they learn their Mothers live in habitual Infidelity to their fathers, and their fathers in as constant Infidelity to their Mothers?

Or how about this comment from John Adams in a speech in 1798? "We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Our consitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

Or Benjamin Franklin, who stated that, "only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have need of more masters".

You can disagree with their sentiments, but facts are facts and you should equip yourself with them before making yourself look stupid on a world-wide public stage.

2. Buddhists are the only ones with moral high ground? You have got to be kidding. This is neither the time nor place to debate that one, but I'd take you on in a heart-beat if you so choose.

3. Ownership of property comes from someone who did not deserve it?

Well we all know what your moral framework of ownership, possession of property and theft is. I'm just glad you aren't my neighbour.

And where you are truly off-base...

4. I'm not 'cute'. Really. Just take my word for it.

 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:43 | 4281315 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

 

 

Deo vindice

I wanted to "+ a million" to someone earlier.  

Your comments abobe are worth at least two million greens, you have read America's plight right, IMO.  You argue your case well with logic.  Human nature is what it is, and the decline we see is partly based on the lengths many go to not to even try to better themselves, nor seek a more spiritual path.

But, what is my opinion worth?

Please do not leave Zero Hedge.  I suspect that you do tremendous good while here that perhaps you cannot even imagine.

***

lostintheflood, I include you as well w/ Deo vindice.  As a country, we ARE lost in a flood.  You both get it.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:02 | 4281515 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

Deo, 

Agree with your comments.   The moral foundation that America was built upon has been undermined for decades.  If you can make a person morally ambiguous, it is easier to get them to not do what is right, even when they know action is required.  The American Communist Party, which has strong ties to Obama, has been following a manifesto that was published back in the 50's.  Why is the middle class being eliminated?  Because there is no middle class in socialism, just the ruling elite and the servants.  Oh, and what happens to all the useless people when communism takes hold?  

vimeo.com/63749370

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:52 | 4281614 odatruf
odatruf's picture

You can read all you want about what the Founding Fathers said, and I agree some if it is nearly perfect poetry.

But what they did - in public and private - deserves to be placed on the ledger, too. In that accounting, their moral greatness is very suspect.

I'll give you that John Adams was better than most, but few of the rest hold a position of moral superiority.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:22 | 4282005 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

deo.... you're trying too hard to make sense of everything.  and you cant.  slave owners wrote the declaration of independence.  andew jackson in on a fed reserve note.  i could go on and on.  way too many ironies and inconsistencies in our brief history to say that we stand for anything cohesive

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 12:11 | 4281638 Alfred
Alfred's picture

Lost it's moral greatness...? Let's break this down. We came here and squatted on someone elses land, and when things got tough we murdered them and took their shit. And the rest is history. No, the first guy to comment on this article got it right. Animals fuck. Animals fight over food, kill for mates, eat till there's no more and shit all over their homes.

How are we different, and by what measure?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:43 | 4281927 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

We understand Probability Theory?  Am I close?  Is this a trick question?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:57 | 4281965 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

america?  how about zerohedge in particular or should I say, the posters of zerohedge

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 11:19 | 4283066 Marco
Marco's picture

I wouldn't accept my kid fucking up his lungs in a coal mine either ... and yet how many of my consumer products flow from "honest" work like that?

I guess damaging yourself through your job is only Amerikan if it doesn't involve your genitals

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:55 | 4280870 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Luck's got nothing to do with it.....mate.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:51 | 4280862 malikai
malikai's picture

You probably ought to brush up on your stereotypes.

You sound like a complete idiot.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:02 | 4280878 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

I deal with Brits several times a year here in the States and worldwide.  Still have that entitled air of superiority after all these years of being a second rate socialist hell hole.

Not that America is not descending into that same pit.

Oh.....and malikai..... there is a wide gap between sounding like an idiot and being one. 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:15 | 4280916 malikai
malikai's picture

Indeed there is. Which is why your "several times a year" thing is.. comical.

You're talking to a once ignorant (just like you!) American who'se been living in London for many years.

But by all means, don't let me stop you from making a fool of yourself.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:48 | 4281089 malikai
malikai's picture

Wow. British tabloid hit pieces.

And you talk about credibility.

Congrats.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:51 | 4281175 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

You mean like the revelations of phone tapping a dead girl and NSA spying ?

Once again.....shut the fuck up.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:28 | 4281208 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Porn is 'fucking' and poisoning mens minds, like feminism is poisoning womens. Its all apart of the overall agenda.

.

Break and bust the traditions of normal family and occupy the minds with perversions, filth and self gratification. Their is a reason why so much porn is free on the internet...'let it occupy the minds of the weak - as we destroy your life around you while your watching p()ssy. Let them become addicts on a whole lot of nothing.

 .

'Hollywood served as crack dealer, getting the young hooked on porn. How much easier to create a police state if people enslave themselves.' HM

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:43 | 4281230 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Much like your other comments, there isno logic applied here. Try again.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:10 | 4281303 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Blotto - I would frame those sentiments in different words, but I agree with the sentiments.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 20:36 | 4282489 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

I saw somewhere that this generation is the first generation to masterbate left handed. click click click

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:31 | 4280812 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Ha-Ha! Well now we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm sisco yes I'm ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex like Coca-Cola stock you are
Inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft
Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:36 | 4280824 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

You just made me realize that the Bloodhound Gang had more lyrical talent than the Beatles. And that makes me sad. Damn you.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:07 | 4281523 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture

The argument that men are nothing more than animals has been the justification for genocide through the ages.  The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. If they are noting but animals, take the nonconformists to the desert and let it consume them.

 

Contrast that with the idea that the spark of life is divinely given and divinely taken away.  Every man has worth because he is fashioned in the image of his creator.  Destroy the man and you have destroyed one of the manifestations of God.

 

Convince yourself that man is nothing more than a rat or a cockroach and out come the machetes .

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:04 | 4281555 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Cloud, that is TRUTH.  Those who claim we are nothing more than mere animals are dangerous people indeed and should be watched carefully.

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 02:03 | 4282844 Riprake
Riprake's picture

http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/bloodhoundgang13.shtml

"Ha ha! Well now, we claim that we're doing this to help catch terrorists, but actually we're just field testing them until we can strike a deal with Hustler."

("We appreciate your compliance.")

Spread, girlie, spread, girlie;
Six gets our sticks right out.
We get to see the kind of stuff
Woody Allen would dream about.
As we glance at your glands,
We've been feeling our oats.
Yes, we're Janet, your Big Sister;
We're on trains, and we're on boats.
Can't get enough of the blue glove touch;
We want your skirt here on our ground.
We've got you covered and uncovered
Whether it's up or gets downed.
Not looking at your chest; we're looking at the rest;
With us, you know there is nothing you can hide.
Here we're coming; now we're seeing;
Soon we'll conquer and divide.

(Got you now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Gettin' touchy now!)

Gloves; the kind we feel up
With; don't raise a ruckus.
Let us check your sunken treasure trove
For your booty, and your tuckus.
Just three years old? Better do what you're told.
You might have a snuke between your knees.
Cryin' up an ocean; get the notion your commotion
Means no-fly advisories.
So between your thighs go our eyes;
High five! Low five! We're getting a firm grip.
Don't shake me off; Daddy and Mommy
Will have to cancel their trip.
Step on these circles on the floor.
Red light! Now spread those legs some more.
We'll have you crawling on all fours;
It's our business to touch yours.

(Got you now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Gettin' touchy now!)

You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Got you now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Viewin' the scan now!)
You can see plainly we don't mind our manners;
Like to do you like we view you on the TSA scanners.
(Gettin' feely now!)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:47 | 4280711 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Sounds like the sequel to Reefer Madness to me.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:07 | 4280764 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Sounds like the sequel to Reefer Madness to me.

Faster! Play faster!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:37 | 4280827 malikai
malikai's picture

Damnit.. Just gave me an image of that guy.

That closet scene was absolute brilliance.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 03:47 | 4281286 SilverFish
SilverFish's picture

Everything he said was factually correct.

 

So, what's your fucking problem with that?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:06 | 4281446 Jannn
Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:53 | 4280700 ACP
ACP's picture

200,000 porn addicts? That sounds waaay too low. There are many more federal govt employees than that.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:10 | 4280770 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

Just like ancient Rome, America is degrading into a cesspool of alcoholics, drug addicts, and sleazeballs. All of whom think they're cool and hip.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:23 | 4280785 666
666's picture

"Just like ancient Rome, America is degrading into a cesspool of alcoholics, drug addicts, and sleazeballs. All of whom think they're cool and hip."

 

You're describing politicians.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:03 | 4280883 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

And every politician was spawned from, educated by and voted into office by the PEOPLE !

"Garbage in ......garbage out."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07w9K2XR3f0

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:43 | 4280838 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Ah. Judge not, lest ye be judged for your fucking internet addiction you simpleton. Anyone spending the time to comment on this shit is surely not worthy of feeling any higher on the moral totem pole than a porn addict, alcoholic, or drug addict. (You do realize many of the people here are bitter alcoholics that need something to blame for their problems other than alchol right?)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:03 | 4280884 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

I love the simpletons that can manage to click a down arrow, but can't quite muster up the courage to show people their ignorance by trying to reply to me. It's cute. Make sure your kids take a debate class. Maybe they'll be less of a pussy than you, and maybe they will be successful. (I'm bored and trolling at this point. Non-argumentative people bore me)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:14 | 4280913 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Maybe the non-response to your posts is because some people may think they are simply not worth responding to.

(I can't believe I spent a minute doing this.)

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:49 | 4281235 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Oh, you're so cute. You made a little insult, but yet could not come up with some argument to oppose what I said. Fantastic. You proved yourself and everyone that upvotes you to be so superbly intelligent! You go girl! Congrats! Etc...! I can't believe you spent a minute saying nothing either!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:03 | 4281297 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

I wasn't opposing what you said, I was actually agreeing that you get lots of down-votes and not much written response.

I was giving you a legitimate suggestion as to why you get so many down-votes and not many responses.

Alas, it was for nought.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:42 | 4281347 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

You know, sometimes it's better to just STFU.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:26 | 4280933 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Their also litigation happy.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:00 | 4281004 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

10,000 SEC

10,000 FCC

10,000 FEC

10,000 FBI

100,000 DHS

500,000 PENTAGON

200,000 STATE

30,000 HHS

10,000 DEPT OF ENERGY

10,000 DEPT OF EDUCATION

 

Yup,  you're right and I could type on and on for ours by dept/agency....

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:49 | 4281167 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

hey... go easy on them... think of how much more damage they might be doing if they weren't watching porn........   If we're stuck with all these government employees it might be best if they did nothing.  Force them to actually 'work' and you end up with.... well, the total clusterf*ck that is our government today 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:03 | 4280757 Abbie Normal
Abbie Normal's picture

Reminds me of the joke where a Dad and his daughter are in the park and they see two dogs going at it.  Daughter says "Daddy, Daddy, what are those dogs doing?" and the Dad replies in a calm tone "they're making puppies."  That night, the little girl hears something strange coming from her parents' room.  She opens the door, sees them in the act, and asks "Daddy, Daddy, what are you and Mommy doing?"  Again, Dad replies in a calm tone "we're making babies."  So the little girl looks again and then says "Why don't you turn Mommy over and make puppies?"

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:44 | 4280841 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Comedy. +1, but I refuse to click the up arrow.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:51 | 4281836 Gromit
Gromit's picture

Flip her over dad I'd rather have a puppy.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:17 | 4280775 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

GoOgle Porn

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:43 | 4280846 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Grand Ole Pussy?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:06 | 4280889 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Go Ogle Porn...ya gotta watch ole Banzai, he's slippery when wet ;-)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:25 | 4280937 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I am willing to bet that is how the name really got cooked up.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:48 | 4280980 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I won't be taking that bet, what with Lincoln at the head ;-)

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 00:39 | 4282772 HamFistedIdiot
HamFistedIdiot's picture

Google puts it ALL out there in their web and image searches. Whatever you want, even illegal stuff, it is there. It's like the CIA flooding LA with crack cocaine and then doubling the cops to round up all the users. Crack wouldn't be used so much if it weren't omnipresent thanks to the Feds. You type in searches regarding "teens" and you get all this prepubescent stuff. It's a fucking honeypot operation so they can go back in time and incriminate whoever they want if someone needs to be taken down. I have a friend who says that at least porn viewing is "safe sex." Doesn't cost much, and you don't get diseases. I don't know about all this morality thumping. It's a world of grey. Yes, a real partner is likely better; but I've seen the cold relationships that persisted for 40 years and I wouldn't want to go back to the days of following the script and doing what "society" expects of you. This was a few years ago, but I'd search images for "teen models" and Google would serve up nude minors, just to see if you'd click on them I guess. And don't tell me that Google doesn't know what's in it's results. Their just profiling all their users and marketing/selling the data.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:20 | 4280782 suicidalpsychologist
suicidalpsychologist's picture

sex is normal. Not having sex isnt, having too much, or too wicked sex is abnormal , extreme and destructive. Common sense. Sex is required for the couple family to work, it acts as a natural anti depressant. When you start cheating etc cause you are satisfied at home or addicted to porn, you threaten the stability of the family cause you re going the extreme path.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:52 | 4281237 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Hilarious! This post is rated +18, while the duplicate post below is rated net-negative. Oh, the brain power of ZH users!!!!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:45 | 4281298 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Might possibly be because users are not so happy reading the same thing twice - the bane of the "Duplicate Post" nightmare!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:22 | 4280783 suicidalpsychologist
suicidalpsychologist's picture

sex is normal. Not having sex isnt, having too much, or too wicked sex is abnormal , extreme and destructive. Common sense. Sex is required for the couple family to work, it acts as a natural anti depressant. When you start cheating etc cause you are satisfied at home or addicted to porn, you threaten the stability of the family cause you re going the extreme path.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:22 | 4280789 666
666's picture

A $13B industry? Boy, am I in the wrong profession!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:37 | 4280820 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

A $13B industry? Boy, am I in the wrong profession!

Still less than a week's worth of QE sleaziness.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:10 | 4281028 lewy14
lewy14's picture

The "larger than the revenues of the top tech companies combined" bit is pure made-up bullshit.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:48 | 4281092 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Right, but then you'd have to become a banker.  Now that is a truly smutty job. 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:59 | 4281439 Obadiah
Obadiah's picture

BTW Milli  Cows are female "Cattle"... although I have seen a few cows mount other cows.  FYI

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:12 | 4281524 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Right??

Bulls are males

Castrated males are steer

baby males are veal....yum.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:26 | 4282015 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

Hey!  The numbers of the sheeple addicted to porn are considerably higher --- all those nimrods who watch Fox, CNN, CBS, ABC, MNBC (or whatever the eff it's called), etc., etc., etc.

Oh, you're referring to the GOOD porn, not that crappy propaganda porn the sheeple watch.

Well, Hell!  There's nothing wrong with the good porn --- would you rather relax watching Christina Jolie, Alexis Silver or Jackie Daniels or waste your time viewing Miley Cryus twerking in a swim suit?

Personally, I go for the beautiful women all the time!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:45 | 4280691 Audacity17
Audacity17's picture

The REAL war on women.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:43 | 4280694 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Oh,  eat shit.   Women are  pigs just like men.  

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:48 | 4280715 Thomas
Thomas's picture

In a more civilized response, I think most porn flicks have both genders.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:59 | 4280742 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Girls' can be naughty ! (just like boyz) happy now ?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:59 | 4280743 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Reading a book entitled, "The Deep Dark". Get your minds out of the gutter: It's about the fatal fire at the Sunshine silver mine in 1972. In any event, the refer to porn mags as "one handed reads". 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:17 | 4280778 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  In an XAG mine? Haunted by the widow of the disposed spouse.  You seem to be creative.

   Scowling about the dank places of humanity?  

   As a general guideline.   Women love be full, filled, fufilled, loved, adored, idolized.

                                       Men love to be loved, adored, warshiped, feared, idolized.

 Any questions Thomas?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:49 | 4280855 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

I like it. Where did you copy/paste that from?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:31 | 4280944 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     "Satans Academy of Hard Knocks"    

    It was one of those things we call "individuhhhality".  Vetting in todays speak. Shhhh>

  thx T.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:45 | 4280977 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Based on your description, it is staggering that my wife and I have stuck it out for 27 years.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:05 | 4281026 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  BTC looks heavy @ 730.00 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:41 | 4281157 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Slit Coin also accepts gold coin.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:50 | 4281436 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

Are you calling that bitcoin slut a whore?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:16 | 4281045 Spumoni
Spumoni's picture

Wait, wait-shouldn't that read "stuck it in for 27 years?" 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:05 | 4281976 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

hahaha.  i hear that.  it's important to understand who you are and who you're with.  the porn isnt the problem with a marriage, it just represents an expectations gap between the two.

This article has me looking forward to new year's eve.  Overnight sitter, cocaine, alcohol, sexy dress, porn.  God I love my wife.  The perfect mom who is the envy of all the gossipy neigborhood bitches.  but knows how to lick balls when the time is right. 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:14 | 4280773 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Civilized? Eg...you pay taxes that buys weapons to kill people in foreign lands.   HAH.  Civilized.  Humans are vicious, cunning, and deceptive, dumbass.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:53 | 4280722 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

RE: The REAL war on women.

What? You mean all those lesbo flicks were transvestites tucking the log between their butt cheeks. Hahahahahaaa

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:55 | 4280730 max2205
max2205's picture

Hi I am Max, and I am addicted to Zero Hedge Porn......

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:56 | 4280737 Thomas
Thomas's picture

I've got a chart porn problem. I put on a ball gag and read Doug Short's web site.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:44 | 4280847 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Speechless?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:45 | 4280981 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Gagging...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:03 | 4281017 Midas
Midas's picture

Have you been drinking spiked eggnog this holiday season?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:08 | 4280762 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Sinclair products presents..

 

Audacity17: Honey, you can hump your man till you see red communist china.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:32 | 4280813 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

The REAL war on women.

How US citizen typical. US citizenism citizens so high on war they instinctively resort on the crustiness of framing all mattering things in a war contexts. It has nothing to do with class as US citizens engage in this behavior. Poors, middles and richs act the same. They are US citizens after all.

And here, the poster, as a true US citizen, states the usual song.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:49 | 4280859 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Are you trying to say that porn takes of avantage of the poor, destitute, lost, desperate, ignorant, addict, etc.?

That is probably true, but still an incomplete picture.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:48 | 4280915 akak
akak's picture

Ah, same old song, same old US 'american' citizenism kicking of cans, scrapesgoatery, forcing blame to the posterior.  Music to my nose.

When a real US 'american' citizenism citizen seeks symmetry in faultings and badness, oh, then the poor, the destitutes, the disparate, the ignoreant, and the addits are all fair game in their typical "blame him, not me!" game.  Same as always, less than the uppmost inability to self-indict.

But hey, when the ball is in your court, no sense it not putting it on the other foot.

It's a US 'american' citizenism world, might as well get used to it by then.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:57 | 4281001 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

When it comes to propornagandography, US citizenism is the key.

Where are the maths? Where are the centers of aggregated demand? Who is doing the bulk of consumption?

What matters is not the number of non consumers, or light consumers. What matters is the number of heavy consumers.

Heavy numbers are for the very most of them US citizens.

The pursuit of happiness, everybody is happy or something like that...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:54 | 4281242 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

God. You are a dumb drunk fuck aren't you? Sober up, and try making some sense.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:59 | 4280877 rbg81
rbg81's picture

I have seen my share of Internet porn.  One thing I always wonder is:  just where do they find all these girls willing to fuck on camera?   Given the volume of porn, including video cams, there must be hundreds of thousands of girls engaged in the biz.  And most of them are not bad looking.  It just boggles the mind, especially because I don't think any woman I've ever met would even consider porn.  So, I must be missing something.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:11 | 4281401 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hint:  pr0n production is a Worldwide enterprise...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 09:47 | 4281501 rbg81
rbg81's picture

i understand.  Even so.  Seems like about 1/3 of it is Eastern European or Asian (esp. Japanese).  About 50% is American, Canadian.  The rest is probably Western European with a touch of Indian.

And, no, I'm not a porn addict.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 21:05 | 4282530 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Here's some numbers to ponder. California missing children report 2012 = 93,697...this is 1 state, 1 year, just missing children. 

 

I looked into this "missing persons" thing a couple years ago, and the numbers are staggering...unbelievable to be honest.

 

http://oag.ca.gov/sites/all/files/agweb/pdfs/missing/children/children_11-12_reports.pdf?

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 03:48 | 4282876 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

"I must be missing something."

Yep, paying them!!  Cash seems to drop panties much much faster than charm.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:43 | 4280693 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

The real porn is America is the NSA monitoring every facet of your life:

The NSA’s goal, Greenwald said, is to “ensure that all forms of human communication . . .are collected, monitored, stored and analyzed by that agency and by their allies.”

http://rt.com/news/greenwald-snowden-nsa-hackers-conference-889/

 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:44 | 4280699 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Yep.  +1000

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:01 | 4280740 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Yeah, well I've started communicating by farting in Morse Code. Track that bitchez.............

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:02 | 4280754 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

The NSA can with their super high tech FART-O-METER !!!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:48 | 4280702 BigMike
BigMike's picture

Well, Sunny Leone is super hot. What can I do except service myself?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:48 | 4280703 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Ask a reformed SEC employee. They’ll tell you it’s a smut of a job, but someone has to take the reins.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:26 | 4280793 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

LONG DONG JAMIE

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:35 | 4280822 nmewn
nmewn's picture

My penis is confused!!!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:43 | 4280840 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 My "throbbing vessel of joy" is reloading.  /s

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:57 | 4280868 malikai
malikai's picture

Is it just me, or is the chick on the bottom right all fucked up?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:12 | 4280898 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Either that or there's something unseen happening just off the bottom right corner.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:13 | 4280909 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

What about the one on the left with armpit hair? I'll bet she is sporting a birds nest of hair below. My imaginary cat is starting to have a hairball attack.

/sarc

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 13:35 | 4283306 fedupwhiteguy
fedupwhiteguy's picture

she's french don't ya know! and the one on the right definitely has something going on!!! oh yeah!!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 22:57 | 4280873 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

"Took him long enough" to make this MS Paint rendering.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:08 | 4280890 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Billy-7 is the "Epitome of Excellence"...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:14 | 4280895 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That was a speed chop when I did it in 2012. And the artistry was finding the perfect font to use.

See here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/13/william-banzai7-blogger-jamie-d...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:20 | 4280911 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I was just looking for "short cuts". Thanks for the complement/compliment Billy.  I left a note lower. I didn't forget about you.

 I hope your family"father" is ok!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:29 | 4280951 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Thank you for the thought. Christmas is tough in this regard.

Dad is a trooper and it helps that the community he lives in will remember my Mom for a very long time.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:10 | 4281034 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Message received...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:08 | 4280891 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Jamie's an x-rated hunk

Who's come to be known for his junk

I don't mean his cock

It's his JPM stock

Though both have undoubtedly shrunk

The Limerick King

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:10 | 4280901 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Late " Merry Christmas" my friend. 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:33 | 4280954 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

To you as well and all the best in the New Year. It will be a doozy...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:13 | 4280910 nmewn
nmewn's picture

What the hell is that thing hanging onto his right shoulder?...looks demonic ;-)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:16 | 4280917 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   nmewn?  You mean the "Breathing Tube" ? The lifeline of navigation?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:31 | 4280958 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

She has dissappeared into the woodwork hasn't she.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:47 | 4280984 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Absolutely not Billy. She was a compelling part of your "Lifes Tapestry".

     Your Mother passed her "soul" onto you William. How you choose to use that gift, is entirely up to you<>

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:37 | 4281073 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Oops, we are crossing messages. I meant Blythe has disappeared.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:46 | 4280707 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Hang on a sec, my pppppp key is sticking.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:48 | 4280708 SilverIsMoney
SilverIsMoney's picture

 Who comes up with these stats and what are the sources? I'm not disagreeing with the point but these numbers seem way off. I also find it odd that so many allegedly do porn yet living in Chicago I've never met anyone who has.

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