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How Ultra-Rich Chinese Men Find Their Wives

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Charmika Monet via The Diplomat,

Much of the world is familiar with the unique struggles Chinese face when it comes to marriage. Increasingly strict financial security requirements coupled with the growing pains of a nation in the midst of swift change leave many unable to find proper marriage partners.

Add in the traditional, family-enforced marriage age limits, and the increasing number of shengnan (leftover men) and shengnü (leftover women) make contextual sense.

One particularly perplexing sector of society that has a hard time finding suitable marriage partners is young, extremely wealthy men.

Cheng Yongsheng has made a business out of finding dream women for Chinese millionaires with his Luxury Matchmaker Parties, found in most large cities, including Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu, Guangzhou, Chongqing, Hangzhou and spreading elsewhere as economic conditions create a viable market. All participants must have capital worth at least 100 million RMB ($16.5 million) to attend.

The need for such an industry arises from the busy wealthy men themselves, who claim that while beautiful women are no rarity in their lives, women actually serious about and suitable for marriage are hard to find when one has a financial empire to build.

Less than one year after their establishment in 2012, these parties have become well known among the Chinese populace. Women volunteer to attend the gatherings, providing intimate information about themselves and their backgrounds. Volunteers are asked to provide their height, weight, measurements, family background, hobbies, and skills. They are then interviewed and ranked according to their “grade.” Afterwards, they are asked to demonstrate certain household skills, such as ironing and chopping vegetables, as well as an individual skill or talent.

The actual requirements vary from city to city and event to event, following the trends and tastes of the participants. After one woman in Chengdu presented a medical certificate of virginity, such verification has become an increasingly common expectation at matchmaking events.

Volunteers come from all walks of life, which for some is a demonstration of China’s movement in the direction of social equality. Parents also come representing their daughters, some of whom are still in high school, as a way to secure for them a proper future and raise the social rank of the family.

The reaction from the public has been mostly one of disapproval. Many young people express suspicion at men who blatantly use money to attract women. Others say that it is disrespectful to women to have them vie for marriage partners in such a fashion, reducing them to a checklist of requirements, rather than treating them as equals.

Others, meanwhile, take what they perceive as a more pragmatic approach to the matter. Marriages arranged by family members, friends and other third parties are still the norm in China. The requirements by which marriages are made are still largely a matter of finances and social status, with shared hobbies and interests a distant way down the list.

As long as material wealth remains a publicly acknowledged priority for finding marriage partners in China, Cheng Yongsheng and others like him will continue to do good business.



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Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:11 | Link to Comment malikai
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It would be a great job to be the doctor "certifying" virginity.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:17 | Link to Comment remain calm
remain calm's picture

The plastic surgeon who can perfect the reconstruction of the Hymen becomes a very rich man. I am not a plastic surgeon but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:24 | Link to Comment Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

Horriday Inn Express

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:29 | Link to Comment Oath_Keeper
Oath_Keeper's picture


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:51 | Link to Comment Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

Hilarious how when a article refers to China appears Americans immediately jump on Chinese pronounciation of English words whereas 99.9% of Americans not only can't speak one word of Chinese (except Kung Pao Chicken and soy sauce... oh wait...) but also couldn't find China on a blank map if you spotted'em Japan...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:54 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

how do you know they are americans?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:26 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

What? Do we have OFFICIAL cherry pickers in China now too??

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:04 | Link to Comment Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

Everyone just needs to appreciate the "dickhead factor".

There is a certain percentage of people in every walk of life and ever corner of the world who are complete dickheads. It's about 95%.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 12:07 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

So there are women lining up to sell themselves to the highest bidder?  Who knew?

I am shocked, shocked and stunned, yadda, yadda....

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 17:41 | Link to Comment aminorex
aminorex's picture

communists killed their wives

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 19:37 | Link to Comment Chartsky
Chartsky's picture

Yeah, that's just supposed to happen in America . . .

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:30 | Link to Comment Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

Very common to marry into a family full of them...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:26 | Link to Comment MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

I'm actually kinda disappointed of the girls over there. One would logically think that with the ratio of men to women being 122:100, that the gals would have the upper hand in the mating/marrying game. Hey, make the guys go to doctors and get certificates guaranteeing the length and girth of their erections. We also want muscle to fat ratios documented, iq, plus do they have outstanding knowledge of proper etiquette? Financial statements are entirely voluntary, but contribute greatly to the final decision making process *wink*.

Hey gals...time to play hardball over there. Revenge for that footbinding shit they subjected your female ancestors to!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:55 | Link to Comment fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

I'm sure they do have the upper hand around poor men, but these gals are interested in marrying a rich man.  Shocking.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 17:53 | Link to Comment MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

But with all the money printing going on over there, isn't everyone a billionaire? /sarc

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 18:00 | Link to Comment MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 18:01 | Link to Comment MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 18:11 | Link to Comment MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

Enough fuckin' /sarc's for the douche who thought my first comment was entirely serious?

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 07:15 | Link to Comment Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

Would said douche be one before your use or after? Somehow it seems ironic that a woman would call anyone a douche considering their necessity. so solly..../sarc

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 16:26 | Link to Comment kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:03 | Link to Comment Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

That's funny.  You got down arrowed twice (not my doing) so apparently someone else besides me gets it.

Don't want to open a new front on this, but just let me say as a fellow american, Europeans wouldn't be so unimaginatively immature to play this card, over and over and over and over.  Especially in this day and age when Chinese HS students are just hammering American students on comprehensive math and science tests.  For Chrissakes, Vietnamese came over in the 80's and kick the shit out of us in HS; that's a city in China if I'm not mistaken.

let me put /sarc before someone makes an issue of that last remark...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:32 | Link to Comment mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

So you don't believe Justin Barber took. Vector Calculus ......

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 20:27 | Link to Comment economics9698
economics9698's picture

Fuck Miles our students have Justin Beiber.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:43 | Link to Comment jimzjamz
jimzjamz's picture

Just to make it clear to others reading this. The Chinese schooling system is just as the country very flawed and corrupt. It is absolute common practice for ones parents to curry favour from a teacher (read bribe) with gifts and cash so you may recieve the highest marks and thus make it into the best University.. I think it would be better to compare to either the Korean (firstly) and the Japanese schooling syste, as these are less flawed/corrupt and thus comparable.

That being said I completely agree with you on the ridiculousness of the above remarks..

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:25 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

typical liberal useful idiot


usesful for self loathing your own country


you are the first stage, demoralization


no possibility of reasoning with someone who is programmed. only when you feel the boot of your own army kicking you will you realize too late what a dupe you were

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 06:25 | Link to Comment Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

Qui, moi?  The Army is going to have to travel a long, long way to put the boot on me!  And I know, they do, travel quite a long way... but trust me, army's boots are not likely high on my list of things to worry about.  Stop making assumptions wanker.

#2, I'm hardly a liberal, please.  Can't stand the Libs, Progressives or Dems.  I would have taken the Romster any day over the indonesian, as a lesser of two evils.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:28 | Link to Comment Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

It's all in fun.  Are you with the PC Police?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 12:05 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Yes, some of us have fun with languages no matter how poorly we speak our own.  Some people are incapable of ever having a good day.  More's the pity.

The newbies don't remember ZH before spell check.  It was often hard to tell what planet der drunkenmuller goober vas posting from.  Those were the days;)

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 07:20 | Link to Comment Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~"The newbies don't remember ZH before spell check."~

Ain't that a fact. Or run into one of Boris's posts. Holy crap, he's funny. "use only spell check against doktor of witch", or something to that effect.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:48 | Link to Comment geotrader
geotrader's picture

knee how


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 19:14 | Link to Comment SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Nihao ju hai.  


Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:28 | Link to Comment Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

What is:

Hot Breakfast yum yum?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:56 | Link to Comment Unpopular Truth
Unpopular Truth's picture

The disprespect issue is none of our business. Adults can consent, thank you.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:14 | Link to Comment HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

Buffett had 2 wives and a mistress, didn't he?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:41 | Link to Comment LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Anyone still wondering what the end game is here?  Kubrick was right with his take on the oligarchs and their visions of underground caverns full of virgins.  The only difference between an oligarch and a Muslim terrorist is that the Muslim thinks he needs to die to get the virgins.   Same basic motivation.  And same sociopathy.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:25 | Link to Comment tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

muslim terror is  hollywood jew fiction numbnuts.

a means to a rothchild control end shit kicker

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:31 | Link to Comment LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Are you serious?

9/11 was an inside job, probably sponsored by Isreal and/or the CIA, but there are Muslims who want to kill anyone who disagrees with their crazy ass religion dick weed.   There is always some truth in the Big Lie.  

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:53 | Link to Comment JohnG
JohnG's picture



Whole world gone insane.

Welcome to the asylum

:slashes wrists:


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 03:54 | Link to Comment Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

It's worse than that, you wake up, then it starts all over again.


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:34 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Ground Zero Hog Day.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:18 | Link to Comment Curiously_Crazy
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... but there are Muslims who want to kill anyone who disagrees...

With all due respect - and I speak as an Atheist so have no dog in this fight - But there are also a fair number of christians who would and do act in the same way. In actual fact the same could be said of any of the religions with maybe the exception of Buddists.


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:51 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

bullshit. christians are being slaughtered like chickens by muslims in the middle east and asia, when was the last time your heard of a christian suicide bomber?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:30 | Link to Comment PrDtR
PrDtR's picture

You are certainly correct.. a TRUE follower of Yeshua (Jesus) Christ would never even THINK of doing such a thing.. 

Has anyone ever read the beatitudes Matthew 5:1-12 ..the sermon on the mount.. then they would know this!  Just because someone CLAIMS to be a follower of Christ doesn't mean they are. Most likely would fall under the comment made by Yeshua himself when he said that many will claim to know him when they die BUT he we say to them "Away from me you evil doers!" 

Matthew 7:23 ..Luke 13:27 

Here are a couple of Atheists who died +were revived! 

Confess, Repent +BELIEVE! 


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:05 | Link to Comment Curiously_Crazy
Curiously_Crazy's picture

Christians don't need to be suicide bombers because they  have drones and military to do it for them. The times they don't - like when they decide to knock off an abortion doctor it's no less fanatical.

If you (where ever you are from) had your country invaded, your children killed, your friends slaughtered, or your wife raped (pick any of the above) are you telling me a christian wouldn't do the same?

Don't you get it? It's not about religion it's about people getting fucked over.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:20 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

exactly when was the last time you ever saw commander drone obama in a church?


nobody buys your all religions have their exremist PC bull. there is only one religion that teaches it has a duty to destroy all other religions by force. stop trying to be a tribal leftist and giving it a free pass.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 17:07 | Link to Comment Captain Kurtz
Captain Kurtz's picture

Lots of people do actually, they're called atheists - and they're just about the only growing population in terms of beliefs.

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 07:31 | Link to Comment Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

I'd uparrow ya' Cap'n, but technically you're wrong. Atheists are the only growing population in terms of non-beliefs. Not believing is not the same as having Faith, though non-belief could be a religion of its own, though it gets you thrown out of the "non-believers club" pretty quick. (How do ya' like them apples?)


Happy New Year!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 19:20 | Link to Comment fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture


Muslims could have technology and industry if they just stopped listening to the fucking crazy Imans who keep having the youngsters blowing themselves up because the Koran told them they should.

Not every problem in Muslim countries is the fault of some other religion. Islam has to take some of the blame.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:31 | Link to Comment InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

tis a shame that i can only up air you once

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:00 | Link to Comment gobsmack
gobsmack's picture

No pass for Buddhists, who championed the war effort in Japan including the atrocities in China.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:32 | Link to Comment PrDtR
PrDtR's picture

You are certainly correct.. a TRUE follower of Yeshua (Jesus) Christ would never even THINK of doing such a thing.. 

Has anyone ever read the beatitudes Matthew 5:1-12 ..the sermon on the mount.. then they would know this!  Just because someone CLAIMS to be a follower of Christ doesn't mean they are. Most likely would fall under the comment made by Yeshua himself when he said that many will claim to know him when they die BUT he we say to them "Away from me you evil doers!" 

Matthew 7:23 ..Luke 13:27 

Here are a couple of Atheists who died +were revived! 

Confess, Repent +BELIEVE! 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:35 | Link to Comment InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

"no dog in this fight" 

spoken like a true ignoramus... just because you don't believe doesn't mean they dont...


make sure to breathe out when you pull your head out of the sand otherwise you will get sand in your sinuses.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:09 | Link to Comment Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

Dickweed?  Because he "disagrees with your crazy ass views"?  You wanna kill him?

Sure, there are Muslims who just love Rocky Road ice cream too, and others who would give up their religion for one night with Miley Cirus.  It's the largest religion in the world with over 1.6 Billion followers dickweed.  They are spread out over 60 Muslim countries and over 170 countries overall asshat.

Do you think (alleged) terror attempts in USA/UK were because locals disagreed with their Religion, ape?

Do you suppose insugency in Iraq, Afgan, etc. is because they're angry with the Coalition Of The Willing Guys "disagreeing with their religion".

Yeah, Muslims go around all day, every day, wondering "why don't those Americans (look out! there goes an Obamadrone! Hurry, finish those wedding vows gotdammit!) agree with our religion??

Along with the above you no doubt agree they hate us for our freedom (fries). 

Oh well, it won't be long, thank Jesus.  Or rather, Darwin...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:38 | Link to Comment InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

where's the dickweed?  cntrl f only found two instances before i typed this message and they were both in your post?  and i am still trying to get past the foolish soliloquies to find anything of value in your words other than them to create a reassurance within yourself to justify the reason you are talking to yourself

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:23 | Link to Comment Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture



Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:51 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

muslims always get a free pass.


ironic thing is that islam is favored by the new world order from the time of hitler to control people, it is the one approved  religion by the rothschilds for that very purpose yet you have the jew hater trolls claiming that jews control the world, blah blah blah blah. I seriously think the jew hating anti zionist content is there to distract from the NWO's support of islam as a tool to control the masses and generate some war profit.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:48 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

muslim terror is  hollywood jew fiction


except in the balkans, south thailand, west bangladesh, south phillipines, central africa...infinity


oh, wait, I am talking to troll. silly me.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:37 | Link to Comment Miles Ahead
Miles Ahead's picture

lol... yes silly, silly you.

Balkans.  Bosnians wanted independence when Yugoslavia broke apart.  Serbs wanted to keep them in minority subservient role in Greater Serbia. They were not armed any where near what the Serbians were; suffered ethnic cleasing and many massacres, plus blockaded by my Western powers led by Bill Clinton.  Lastly, it wasn't a case of "Muslims killing because of someone not agreeing with their religion".  Bosnians, Croats, and Serbs inter-married for decades before the breakup of Yugo.  Silly for you to use this example.

Thailand?  Yes, you are silly.  Thailand stole the region from the Pattani sultanate or whatever you want to call the weak governing body that was there before.  Thais stole regions from all neighbors; north, south, east, west.  The people down there are not Thai; they are Malay.  Thailand Annexed it.  It was Muslim land and will again one day be.

Same with Mindinao and regions in the south below the Philippines; the Filipinos stole it, the native Muslims are fighting for their liberation from annexation and Asian colonialism - another eventuality.

Same with the West Bank. Same with Gaza. Same with Jerusalem.

West Bangledesh; not sure what you mean here. But same with Kashmir.

All around Africa; it's complicated, but most conflicts are tribal not religious.  Congo; 95% Christian.  Rwanda - Tutsi and Hutu, all roman catholic and protestant.  Sudan; insurgents were Christians breaking away from Muslim North.  South Africa... hmmm, yeah those Apartied Whites were Muslim I think... It's complicated, but hardly could be used as a good example except by one who is...

... silly.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:13 | Link to Comment laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

balkans, called that today, the place invaded by the ottomans.

Thailand, the malay there were buddhist and hindu before being forced to convert to islam. thanks to the portugese we got our pattani back in the 18th century.

Bangladesh, the slaughter of the indiginous buddhists in the chittigong highlands.

Palestine, you mean Israel and Jordan. Palestine, the country that never existed until the20th century and had a muslim minority until the 19th century.

And so on.

Muslim lands, my ass.

Repeat your lies as much as you want; anyone can refute your lies with a little research.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:36 | Link to Comment InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

so why did francis get booted but your drivel allowed to continue?  

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:36 | Link to Comment InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

so why did francis get booted but your drivel allowed to continue?  

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:25 | Link to Comment Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

I for one, want nothing to do with virgins. I'll take trained, talented, whorish women every time. "It ain't gonna suck itself...."

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Those weathy Chinese guys must be worried about unfavorable comparisons if virginity is preferred. 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:05 | Link to Comment RabbitChow
RabbitChow's picture

I realize that people are the same the world over -- there is a double standard of sorts -- which shows up in many forms -- and each generation tends to re-gurgitate this in their own form.  There was ZH's holiday wishes from "The Great Dictator', a Charlie Chaplin movie made in the 1930s.  He wrote that he was a non-conformist, and pointed out the hypocritical attitudes of Americans in particluar -- what he called 'moral pomposity'.  I have to agree, but each culture of the world has its own brand of moral pomposity.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:39 | Link to Comment InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

yep... it all kinda spirals to the fallen nature of man.... simply summed up--- it is sin

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:27 | Link to Comment WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

There is an old book "Chinese OverPopulation" by Wei Phukum Yong

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:37 | Link to Comment Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"The plastic surgeon who can perfect the reconstruction of the Hymen becomes a very rich man."

My understanding is, in Muslim countries, you can indeed make a fortune performing his service.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:39 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Is very important for new second or third time virgin with surgeon cultured Hymen to take with chicken in Matrimoanial bed; when rich above 16 million husband is expending, slit chicken throat and shake over thighs...

...then is custom, hang blooded sheets on door for 3 weeks and chicken is becomes dinner.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:43 | Link to Comment ich1baN
ich1baN's picture

Okay, you guys by now know I have lived in china....... this is actually a very true statement. Most women who have had sex before will never tell their potential marriage partner and will ALWAYS get hymen reconstructed surgery in China. 

It is sort of like a used car analogy..... as soon as you drive it off the lot it depreciates 50%..... so if you have assymetric information and you appear new, you can possible trick a few potential suitors at the cost of moral dignity. 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:24 | Link to Comment LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

So "extra clean" doesn't mean what I thought it did?  How about "low miles?"  "Cherry?"  

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:43 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Dealer demo?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:05 | Link to Comment Magnum
Magnum's picture

Lot of Chinese men on cuckold forums looking for big white cocks to service their wives.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:43 | Link to Comment Freddie
Freddie's picture

I am not a plastic surgeon but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night.

Yeah with Suzie Wong.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:27 | Link to Comment Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

A ballet adaption? Priceless..

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:38 | Link to Comment Onohymagin
Onohymagin's picture

suitably reinforced with carbon fibre ;-)

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:07 | Link to Comment Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

remain calm

The plastic surgeon who can perfect the reconstruction of the Hymen becomes a very rich man. I am not a plastic surgeon but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night.

Hymen reconstruction is a popular surgical procedure in the East.  Everyone wants to think he's the first.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:26 | Link to Comment wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Don't tell me...

Rich yellow men go for blonde white chicks too!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:53 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

I know I gots me one.  

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:04 | Link to Comment HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

I've never met a natural one.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:28 | Link to Comment LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Wait a minute.  Are you saying you dye your hair?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:44 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

The top trophy is a Chinese blond.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:44 | Link to Comment Bokkenrijder
Bokkenrijder's picture

How the ultra rich Chinese find their wives?

Simple, as with all ultra rich people: the wives find THEM!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:59 | Link to Comment johnconnor
johnconnor's picture

true thing, all women from all countries just dream about one thing and one thing only: Marry a rich guy and getting his money

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:28 | Link to Comment Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Divorcing a rich guy, and getting his money. Marry twice, once for money, and once for love.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:29 | Link to Comment Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

That is a great idea.Set up shop...certifying virginity with boiler-plate affadavits. Waow...the millions of renmibi will roll my way. This may be even better than prividn ratings for subprime.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:12 | Link to Comment So Close
So Close's picture

Sounds just like communism to me.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:15 | Link to Comment Tinky
Tinky's picture

Believe it or not...

"intact hymen" is an anagram of "ancient myth"

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:11 | Link to Comment Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

And Hymen was the god of marriage in ancient Greece.
True true true.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:24 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I am here to report there are plenty of hot Mainland women hunting for husbands.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:33 | Link to Comment SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

I have a Taiwanese friend who's wife is from Shenzen (just across from Hong Kong) and she utterly confirms your assertation.    They keep trying to set me up with Chinese women looking for a husband.


Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:38 | Link to Comment Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

What is their minimum income threshold?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:57 | Link to Comment Midas
Midas's picture

And fonestar wants to know if they take Bi....ahhh these jokes write themselves.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:09 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

If you have to ask.....well y'know the rest,....

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:34 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

A visa is what they really want.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 10:29 | Link to Comment tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

To the US? Can they cut vegetables and do laundry?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:43 | Link to Comment Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

Oh, the irony. They are fleeing a "booming" economy with unlimited growth potential to come to Hotel California. I suppose they want to buy real stuff with their USDs before their Babylonian paper ends up soiled and in the toilet.

At least they are humble and devoted wives (for now) unlike our spoiled, cultureless, superficial, capricious, million-dollar women.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:27 | Link to Comment Hulk
Hulk's picture

If you be a rich dude and can't get a wife, you have some serious issues that should be dealt with first...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:41 | Link to Comment Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Think this through for a second. If you are rich, it is going to be awfully tough sorting through the gold diggers. Your first instinct will be to fuck your way through but that will lead you nowhere. Then what?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 23:51 | Link to Comment nightshiftsucks
nightshiftsucks's picture

Well of course,then you fuck some more.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:54 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

only to wake up to that nasty rash.  wall st should have it's own catagory for std's 

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:45 | Link to Comment MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Wall Street IS a sexually transmitted disease. They keep fucking us and fucking us and...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:26 | Link to Comment LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"Your first instinct will be to fuck your way through..."

And second and third.  Poor rich guys having to dig down to fourth and fifth thoughts.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 03:00 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Well Banzai they can do as I did; gave away all my vast wealth, sold my companies, and took a low-level job scrubbing car windshields at intersections.

No more $400 dollar lunches, but I know my women are after me - for me, and my awesome wiry beard.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:34 | Link to Comment seek
seek's picture

As a rich dude, It's far trickier than it seems. There are many, many gold diggers out there, all with different crafty plans -- some want to marry for divorce settlement with you out of the picture, some want to marry to fund a lavish lifestyle with you in the picture, until the funds are gone, some want to date and then agree to be quiet -- for a price -- about "that thing that happened when you were drunk" when there was no thing, and you were never drunk. Yet others will be adamant that they're on birth control and that "condoms feel yucky." I've dodged all but one of these personally.

I'm about 50, and have discussed with with planning professionals, a psychologist, and some high-net-worth women I know, and absolutely none of them think it's in my interest to marry -- most are adamant that I avoid it at all costs. My state laws are such that even a brief marriage would cost me well into the six figures, and it gets worse from there.

So yes, you can get a "wife," but you can't get a wife. I'm scared to even date most of the time. The serious issue is having money in a very male-hostile legal environment.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:00 | Link to Comment emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

seek, i've invariably learned something new or at least considered a  different view from your posts but this gives me pause...if you are concerned about maintaining your estate's principle why not simply limit your dating search to women as wealthy or more so than you?  after you've established that property is no longer a hindrance then you can come to see if you can find someone with similar understanding, ideals, tastes, desires, compassion and serenity.  i sincerely hope you find your equal and that you live happily through the years ahead blighted by fukus and  global chaos.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:07 | Link to Comment HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

Fuck, I married up... and my wife still speads all my money.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 01:32 | Link to Comment seek
seek's picture

Thank you for your well-wishes.

I wish it worked that way, but it really doesn't. Add to that women that are single, attractive, and have comparable net worth are maybe 1:25000 if that, and if they have that going for them, can date up the food chain and do better than my freaky ass ;-) ... as I said, I've talked with other high-net-worth women (some of whom I've dated) and there's simply too much to lose. My current strategy is to appear as middle-class as possible, but surprise, women are way less interested in me now! (lol)

I'm going to presume I'll do better after the reset, or at least find someone to date the faux middle-class persona eventually.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:26 | Link to Comment AGuy
AGuy's picture

"My current strategy is to appear as middle-class as possible, but surprise, women are way less interested in me now! I'm going to presume I'll do better after the reset, or at least find someone to date the faux middle-class persona eventually."

That seems to be getting difficult by the day:

1. The State is catering to young women as the gov't offers extensive wealthfare and entitlement programs. Most young women are much more interested in Toy Boys (Usless and reckless) since they have the gov't to fall back on.

2. As the reset approachs, more women will use deception to find someone with resources to care for them as the Wealthfare state falls apart.

3. Way too much extreme femanism as the media and schools projects all women as princesses and men are simply a means to obtain resources.  Its extremely difficult to find women that are not leftist or emotionally mature.  

4. The Middle class is disappearing fast as middle class jobs are being lost the fastest of all the classes, so your pool is continuly shrinking, and will likely completely disappear in the next 5 to 7 years.



Sat, 12/28/2013 - 06:21 | Link to Comment Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

re: #1: The alpha fux, beta bux strategy. Feminism has brought unfettered female hypergamy. No beta? No problem ladies, Uncle Sugar's got all the $$$ you need! Just sign right here Snowflake, and we'll tax the shit out of the working man for your single, empowered lifestyle!

Fuck 'em. I ain't paying, and I ain't getting married. Sucks to lose Western Civ to the fast breeding Idiocracy though.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 18:49 | Link to Comment mkkby
mkkby's picture

You rich guys with all your silly worries aren't very smart.  Just get a god damned vasectomy, and plow through all the gold diggers dick first.  With no worries about being forced to support them, you can turn the tables.  They'll THINK they are trapping you but they'll never get preggo.

Sheesh, how did you make your money -- it sure wasn't with brains.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 02:50 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

If it's any solace, this happens to women, too.  My poor aunt can't bring herself to split with her horribly abusive SO.  He has gotten meaner and crazier and more vile every year, for decades now.  He hasn't worked in at least fifteen years (he graduated from a top three law school, LOL).  But from early on, it was the case that he would get half of what she had so painstakingly earned and saved as a legal secretary.  I'm sure it's not much by your standards, but she just can't bear to lose it.  I think she should give up the money and run, but then I'm not in her shoes.  Perhaps the system is male-hostile, but certainly part of it is that men are more likely to be the ones with the money.  Women with money can be toast, too.

Just curious  -  are you looking for/at women your own age, or younger women?  I'm not sure how many younger women really see older dudes as humans.  I didn't when I was younger (though I wasn't after their money).  Are you planning on or hoping for kids (maybe a genetic lottery at your age; the autism and schizophrenia rates go way up for kids of older dads)?  This is an interesting puzzle, but you haven't given enough info yet to make it solvable.

I certainly know many, many women who are not gold-diggers, but they would probably not meet your attractiveness criteria.  They are I am sure as innately attractive as "attractive" women, but they don't spend their money on plastic surgery and Thermage and salon hair treatments and hair extensions and laser hair removal and dental caps and ultra costly clothing and diet doctors and the other tools of, well, gold-diggers.  You probably wouldn't notice them; most men are not good at assessing women's innate attractiveness; they notice the bright red lipstick and the red blouse.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:27 | Link to Comment starfcker
starfcker's picture

karen, you're agile enough to see different angles in things, but there is a big difference in this case. there is no other area in everyday law as distorted as this. in any other situation the person whose behavior causes the damage has culpability. no fault divorce has to rank right up there with the welfare state as a family destroyer. if a man screws up his marriage, he is going to pay a big price, if his wife screws up the marriage, he is going to pay a big price. a contract signed by a woman has no legal standing in divorce court, as the full power of the state will bear down on a man, yet no such apparatus exists should a woman decide to fully disregard her agreed upon obligations. and let's not even get into restraining orders and modern definitions of domestic 'violence'.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:27 | Link to Comment bunnyswanson
bunnyswanson's picture

In fact, found myself in a horrifying financial situation when I married a wealthy man, had no nuptial in place, and realized his family business had been taking part in tax evasion for years.  I had to run for my life from this 6 year old marriage as I was Canadian and had signed his extended tax returns.  Incidentally, I met him through a newspaper ad, and he presented himself as a middle income farmer when in fact had a very large cattle ranch which I realized 6 months later.  I was very naive.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:14 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

@ seek

I want to join in wishing you the best.  It looks like it is maybe more of a numbers game than I had previously thought.

I was always terrible with women (the dorkiest of the lot, wherever I was) when I was young -- ask anyone who knows me personally.  I am not in the 1% or even the 4%, but I do have a pretty good general idea of what your situation might be like.

In many ways I was lucky, I found my girl outside the USA (our marriage has been 28 years and running), since joining ZH I have found that others had done the same.   American women, the ones most of us really want [EDIT: or think we want] anyway, never gave me the time of day...  But, it was probably me...  Like I said, I was not the pick of the litter.

Yet I lucked out by finding the right one when I was 29 years old to marry.  I did not tell her that she married into a bit more money than she knew about until afterwards.  I am, of course, lucky that she is not a loathesome gold-digger, etc.

But, IMO, it is still a numbers game.  Luck/chance plays a bigger role in most of life than most of us imagine.  N. N. Taleb was right about that: "fooled by randomness".

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:07 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture



@ seek

Please allow me to amplify a comment...  If you travel, then the world is your oyster.  There are many, many women "over there" who are looking for a decent guy.  American men are much sought after in Peru, particularly if they have even some money (my wife's two sisters also married Americans, middle-class ones), but they are decent men, and their marriages are good.  One of them married HIS after a divorce...  I have NO evidence that you are some kind of an asshole, so, my best hunch is that you might do very well in a low-key and dignified look around by going to the Perus, the Philippines, the Costa Ricas of the world.

You have the money, take a trip or two, show them you care by learning some of their language, and be friendly.  I was one of the shyest, homliest guys around, yet got very lucky.  The lottery is NOT over.

My beat (Peru) is loaded up with women looking to better their lives, and not in a gold-digging way.  Caution is always warranted (I think you have that one down though), but as I told my (single) Tai Chi instructor, if he ever goes to Peru with enough advance notice, I could have "them lined up around the block" wanting to meet, just meet, a decent American.

(You likely can track me down easily enough, I go to Peru in March, drop me a line if you want, disclosure: I need no one's money)

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:54 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

DoChen, Seek is extremely risk-averse.  I am sure you are right that there are many nice women in e.g. Peru who are not gold-diggers, but Seek has basically said that he does not trust his own ability to determine if a woman is a gold-digger.  And really he is right; people are very poor judges of other people, especially when they find someone attractive and get romantically involved.  It would be easier if Seek did not have money; then he could just find a nice Peruvian lady without his concern about losing half his substantial assets.  But he does have money, and he wants certainty about the character of the person he marries.  Marrying someone from another culture is very risky, if the failure of the marriage counts as an utter disaster.  There are all sorts of signals and social cues that one cannot interpret.  I have known men who have had happy experiences with marrying a woman from overseas, and I have known men who ended up with gold-diggers from oversees.

The marriages that are statistically most likely to last, are those between people of similar ethnic, cultural, economic, educational and attractiveness backgrounds.  Other marriages often work, but the odds are lower.  Seek has not said what age range he is looking at.  If he is open to women his own age, I think he ought to pick up his high school yearbook:  he will know the characters of the women he went to high school with, and he will have much in common with them.

If Seek doesn't think he can tell with an American woman, I am sure that he would not feel confident about his ability to tell with a woman from another culture.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:21 | Link to Comment Jorgen
Jorgen's picture

Wouldn't a well written prenupital agreement fix Seek's worries?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:42 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

Seek wants a real marriage, to a real wife.  A pre-nup is poison to that kind of relationship.  It is degrading to the man and the woman and to the marriage.  I'm not saying they should be outlawed or something, but a pre-nup is a sick product of a sick society and leads to a sick marriage.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:00 | Link to Comment Canoe Driver
Canoe Driver's picture

Karen, it's clear you are an American woman, and not merely posing as one. You have confirmed for me a long-held suspicion that most purportedly educated American women date according almost entirely to race, or what you choose to call distnctions of ethnicity, background, etc. I have seen many women end up with precisely the morons they deserve for thinking this way. A successful marriage requires a type of courage absent in 99.9 percent of humanity, or it requires the abject stupidity of oxen. (Read Norman Mailer on this.) But it does not require spousal homogeneity. For the record, I am a white affluent male with engineering and law degrees.

Further, as a lawyer, I can say the problem with prenups is they are too easily defeated in court. The proper action is property transmutation during the marriage, when everything is fine, and there's little atypical pressure on the spouses.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 19:31 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

You totally and completely misread what I wrote, Canoe Driver. I was surely not recommending that men and women in general stick to their own ethnicity and culture; not at all.  Didn't you notice that I wrote that marrying a "nice Peruvian lady" would be a good thing?

I was giving Seek stats that would be relevent to someone who is completely risk-averse concerning divorce.  Those statistics are not relevant to most people.  Most people want to maximize happiness:  Seek seems to want to minimize the risk of divorce-misery.

Some of the happiest marriages that I know of, are between people of different ethnicities and cultures.

I think you were looking for something in what I wrote, but it wasn't there, but you attributed it to me anyway because you wanted to see it.  Maybe American women in general hold the view you describe (I have no idea, I'd have to think about it), but I don't, and I didn't express it.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:52 | Link to Comment starfcker
starfcker's picture

Karen, in a world without make believe you would be dead on. (that's a slap at our world, not at you) your positions are hyper rational and say nothing but positive things about you and your worldview. i agree with you completely on prenups. poison isn't harsh enough. but feminism has also proven to be poison. if you asked a man what he looks for in a woman, and ask most women what they have to offer, these are different things. i can tell you what men want. someone who can hold up her end of the bargain. men don't want to manage a household. men don't want to play mr. mom. all they really want is, after a long day of fighting the good fight, someone who realizes she is the reason he is out there fighting. balance is a purely female construct.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 18:40 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

The world is very messed up, starfcker, and so are a lot of people.  I don't see much of a cure for that anytime soon.  I think we can just hope that kindly individuals, find a kindly individual to marry.  I've seen people work at it and succeed, so it is worth while trying to work at it.

Your description of what men want I'm sure covers many men, but it is not universal.  My father was very grateful to my mother for working, steadily, for decades (she was a schoolteacher; she's now retired).  He comes from a culture (Eastern European) in which women typically work.  I think both fonzanoon and iridium rebel are very grateful to their wives for working.  Being the sole breadwinner can be extremely risky and stressful to men; American men (per the surveys) are happier now than they were before feminism, and women are less happy; funny thing.  Re feminism:  I jsut don't want to live in a world (like Saudi Arabia) where women can't own property and can't be doctors or researchers.  It is simply a waste of half of the brains of the human race; childrearing is crucial but doesn't take up more than 20 years of a 85 year lifespan.  I absolutely agree that many men do want what you describe, but if women don't, what is one to do?  As a libertarian I do not wish the state to go back to saying women can't own property in their own name, and cannot practice medicine, and so on.

Here's a bit of unsolicited advice:  if you are looking for a lifelong female partner, you will have to give up your views about what men want, and give up expecting to get it.  Whether it is true and right or not, you are not going to get it, and this view of how things should be will block you from actually finding someone.  You have to focus on what another individual wants (the person you hope to stay with), and then be supportive of it, and if she is a kindly person she won't turn the situation into a mess.  Find someone who is interested in something innately worthwhile:  go take an art course (loads of women), and be interested in the stuff some female creates.  Be supportive.  A woman who is interested in art, will be more likely to appreciate someone who is out in the world in a practical way (that is, you).  Or take a chicken-raising course, or a cake making course:  you will find women who are focused on things that are complementary to the role that you say suits you.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 21:34 | Link to Comment starfcker
starfcker's picture

Karen, I always read your posts twice so i don't misconstrue what you write. OUR world is very messed up. i believe what i'm writing about is a big part of the problem. children are only 20 years, but for a woman those are up front years. those same years are the ones men need to be nose to the grindstone to fund the family and it's future. family only works when daddy goes to work everyday and mommy raises the kids. not to say dad can't do lots to help, and mom can't work and contribute. not at all. but i'm talking about primary responsibilities. your surveys are nonsense. what is one to do? it's all about priorities. if marriage and family are what's most important, it's not nearly as hard to acheive. if anything else comes first, good luck with that. read some camille paglia. she's a lesbo feminist but she gets it in a big way.  division of labor was never about oppression. oppression is real, and should be attacked in every instance. but let's not confuse oppression with the very real differences between men and women. the rest of the world is not nearly as confused about this.

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 00:32 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

This is so complicated, starfker, and there are so many parts.

We certainly agree that children need to be raised in families; that divorce is permanently damaging to kids; it is even damaging to them if the parents divorce after the kids have left home.  I am forever grateful to my dad for putting up for years with my mother's behavior; they married extremely young and her actions in her early (married) years would curl your hair.  Well, he put up with it because he knew if he left (and he was utterly entitled to, by any measure) we would all be destitute and my brother and I would be permanently damaged.  Thanks to his incredible forebearance they are still married (now happily) at 70 and 72.

I agree that men and women are not identical.  There are innate differences, related to nurturing and aggression.  I would only argue that there is a lot of human variation.  My dad (an ardent feminist, of the "old time feminist" variety, not the crazy modern variety) did as much baby tending as my mom did.  There are a lot of very nurturing men, and a lot of very assertive ambitious women  -  by nature.

Looking at the rest of the world doesn't tell us much other than (perhaps) that women in many parts are not allowed to act as they wish.  Take Germany.  There is huge social pressure for women to stay home with kids if they have them; those who have kids and also work are called "raven mothers."  The result is that women feel they have to choose between a career and kids, and they choose the career as you see from the birthrate.  Similar case in Japan  -  women are forced to choose, and they choose the career (if you get pregnant in Japan your employer will fire you).  So although I agree with you about how men and women skew in re nurture and aggression, I think you underestimate the incredibly powerful need women feel to be out there "achieving."  Now Im not saying that that is best for kids.  But you don't get anywhere by pretending that women are more nurturing/homeloving than they actually are.

Here's an example.  I have a 26 year old friend who got pregnant and then about a year later (last week in fact) married the guy.  As soon as she gave birth, she felt both a huge amount of nurturing instinct, and a huge increase in her ambition level.  Both.  So although she could stay home with her infant (husband hard working, young but okay job, and both sets of grandparents happy to help), she put the infant at six months into daycare and has returned to college full time.  Everyone basically pleaded with her to just stay home for a year, but she felt absolutely compelled to return to school.  You may argue that she has been brainwashed but really no; I know her well; she's no politically correct ultra feminist type at all.  It simply is the case that her "achievement" compulsion is as strong as her "nurturing" compulsion.  Well, the infant seems robust and healthy and all those good things; I hope it works out; it seems insane to me but then I am not in her shoes.

The rest of the world is going our way; don't kid yourself.  There will be huge numbers of kids all over who are raised only by their moms, and it will be a world of sad little damaged ragamuffins.  And men are part of it of course;  there are plenty of men who are very happy not to marry someone whom they've gotten pregnant, and I've known a fair number of men who cheated on their wives when the children were small (and so the wives divorced them, and justifiably so, although still horrible for the kids).

My brain is now fried.  I think that there is probably a lot of overlap in our views, although by no means absolute.

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 01:10 | Link to Comment starfcker
starfcker's picture

Karen, I signed up to comment here to get some different points of view from smart people and you give me my moneys worth. i do consider myself a feminist of the old time variety. i am always suprised at the reaction i get (not from you) by just pointing out basic things about human nature. the brainwashing of society has been pretty thorough. not sure the rest of the world can go our way, or that we can continue for much longer, the big change will occur when we can't print money anymore. single womanhood is virtually impossible without big government employment and a generous welfare state. education is not always what it's cracked up to be, and only counts for automatic pay grades in .gov work. in the real world it's just a foot in the door. catch you next time. happy new year.

Sun, 12/29/2013 - 01:40 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

starfcker, you may well be right that a big change in the structure of the economy, will change many social things.  that is a good point.

happy new year to you, too!!!!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 12:52 | Link to Comment AGuy
AGuy's picture

"Wouldn't a well written prenupital agreement fix Seek's worries?"

No since there is no such thing as an iron clad prenuptital agreement. They can be thrown out in court. When Children get involved you are on the hook for child support. Gold diggers use children as a tool to get around the prenupt. I've known several friends that got taken for every dollar to pay for child support. In some cases the father had to pay child support to the wife and then spend money for real child support as the ex didn't spend any of the child support money on thier children. It can be really tough.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:31 | Link to Comment seek
seek's picture

It depends on the state. In my state, prenups are basically worthless.

Also, I have a high income -- I'm still building my wealth, so it's not that I'm sitting on a pile of protectable assets that are generating my primary income stream passively. In most states income earned during marriage has equal claims on it by both sides, meaning half the wealth built during marriage is at risk. I experienced this when I was married and then divorced right as my startup became profitable and right after I liquidated a real estate investment -- she dropped the bomb on me literally the day the check came (and flipped the fuck out a couple weeks before when the deal appeared to fall through.) Trust me, when you write a Really Big CheckTM  to your now-ex that you trusted implicitly, it changes your worldview in ways I can't describe.

If I were to be married even a few months, the claims to her share of the income would be in the six figures. Hence my lawyer's and accountant's advice to simply never get married.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 18:46 | Link to Comment PlausibleDenial
PlausibleDenial's picture

@Seek... I got married once.  Biggest mistake ever.  She wanted a divorce so I walked leaving everything.  Never been happier.  However, should you decide to get married establish a family limited partnership with you owning the majority of the general partnership interest.  Run your businesses though the FLP where you can control your income.  Give her limited parntership interest to "appease" the greedy part of life.  You control at the GP level to include how much income you desire.  A couple of caveats.  Only contribute after marrigage assets (no personal use) to the FLP.  Pre marital assets should be excluded if you pay attention.  Should there be a divorce then the marital assets will include her llimited partnership interest.  But, she has no control of those assets only distributions should you ever elect to make a distribution.  I use this structure with my high net worth clients.  It works.  In terms of children, get a V.  If you are approaching 50 believe me having children is hard work.  Worth it mind you, but hard work.

Own nothing....control everything. 


Sun, 12/29/2013 - 00:44 | Link to Comment kareninca
kareninca's picture

Your experience sounds really horrifying, seek.  I can see why it would cause you to rationally mistrust your ability to judge women's motives.  What's funny (kind of) is that you are probably not any worse at it than most men; you just are aware that you are bad at it.

You know, I have never, ever met anyone who was volunteering at a homeless shelter, or volunteering at a food bank, or volunteering at a library fund-raising book sale, who was a gold digger.  There is no certainty in this world, but that comes pretty close.  So, meet someone that way.  If she soon thereafter finds out that you are well-off, so what?  It won't suddenly turn her into a gold-digger; that is really a permanent character trait; a woman doesn't suddenly "become" a gold-digger.  Now, she may well hold political and economic views you find obnoxious, and she may want to give more to charity than you like, but that you would simply have to live with; nothing's perfect.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 07:31 | Link to Comment Croesus
Croesus's picture

@ DoChenRollingBearing: 

I'm in the same boat that Seek is in, but a little younger than he is (36); I keep telling my parents that American women are a waste of time, and your post just confirms what I already thought anyway. 

Like Seek, I've done everything I could do, to downplay my financial position, just to protect my ass(ets) against the predations of others, and have likewise noticed the correlation between "the amount you have, and the attention you get". 

I might have to try Peru as my next vacation destination; My Spanish isn't the best, but I can work on that. 


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 08:07 | Link to Comment Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Well, let me give you a hint: It's no good to downplay your financial position. In fact that's not necessary. There is a very common mistake in this way of thinking, namely that women are interested in financials directly. They are (mostly) not. What they are interested in, are feelings of security and comfort, which many of them associate with wealth. Now, guess what: If you manage to generate these feelings in a woman otherwise, she won't be interested in how you did it. What impresses women more than any rich man is a man who seeems to be in control of his life, and (this is the point:) control over the situation in which he engages with her. And I mean control. Women don't like to be asked as much as they like to be lead (in general). Or to put it in a short form: The attention you get is dependant on the amount you seem to have, which can be quite different from what you really have. If you can make a woman feel great - she will not ask you about financials. If she does - she didn't feel great enough. One won't make a woman feel great by having much money, although it could make things a bit more easy. And as I mentioned already: Never ever hesitate to call a woman (especially one you like) a dork at the first opportunity!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:10 | Link to Comment Croesus
Croesus's picture

@ Bearwagon: 

I don't downplay my wealth because of women...I downplay it to avoid being murdered, or kidnapped/ransomed because of it - but it didn't escape my attention that women paid a lot more attention to "the flashy Croesus", than they do to "the average Croeusus". 

Don't get me wrong: by most women's measures, I'm a decent looking guy, with good taste, and a lot to offer besides money. My issue is more about 'separating the wheat from the chaff', when it comes to quality

Just like women could say of men (and do), finding QUALITY is not an easy thing to do. Psychos and Sociopaths are some of the finest actors out there (politicians, anyone?), and the act of 'crawling through a pile of cubic zirconias in search of a diamond', gets a little old after a while. 

I do appreciate the well-intended advice, and I didn't mean for my earlier post to sound as though "I think they only like me for my money"...because I realize that isn't the case (most of the time, anyways). 

As for control of the life? At this point, I almost have it "all", and what I don't have, I don't miss, with very few exceptions. 



Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:50 | Link to Comment seek
seek's picture

I can tell Croesus has been there/done that.

What Bearwagon is missing is what Croesus emphasizes -- it's not a neutral dating pool. The dating pool is unfortunately filled not only with lonely single women looking for love that just need to be treaated well to capture their affections, but also many women that are actively and intentionally trying to exploit men for profit, and still others, as pointed out, that are just plain crazy and lack normal social inhibitions from causing damage to the people in their lives.

These latter two classes are downright scary and become far more damaging as your income climbs. What's even worse is that many, if not most, of the exploitive class have completely convinced themselves they're entitled to, and deserve, whatever they can extract -- and they are more than willing to put up a front for months or even years to get it. After you experience this once or twice you're either broke or have had the hammer of wisdom beat a new revealation into your head.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:21 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

There are LOT of very good points raised among you just above.  I can only speak from my very limited (much more limited than the studly dudes that seemed everywhere when I was a young fella).

I would *guess* that it would be a combination of good will and finally hitting the number when it comes to finding the right one.  Mine just happened to be from Peru, but that was just me.

There is certainly some truth in above comments on similar people often being better able to understand each other (I see that, check), but there are also women "over there" who really like American men who do not hit their women (there is spousal abuse in Peru), wrap them in burkas, etc.  Freedom is wanted by women too, kareninca demonstrates this knowledge...

It's a mess finding the right person for many of us.  Mine is just one tale.  And it does take nerve to take that route (although in my case, we were seated together on a train...).

Being solitary when one wants a devoted wife/husband is hard.  I was there when quite young, I never even had a girlfriend until I was 21.  That's pretty late.  Judging people was never a strong point of mine either.  Which means that maybe I was even luckier than I had presumed earlier...

An open mind, kindness and a reasonable caution not to jump too fast seems OK.  But, any single people looking for the love of their life probably have to make the jump at some point.  And to a degree, it seems to be a numbers game.

Numberz, fishez, I see them all the time...


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 14:36 | Link to Comment Magnum
Magnum's picture

This is good advice.  I went the "marry a foreigner" route myself and came up a big winner in most respects. My wife works very very hard, contributes nonstop to our well-being (financially and otherwise), and I may never ever tire of the sexy exotic look -- great for my bloodflow.  We have interesting kids, doing very well in school.  Of late however I feel like my choice was not 100% the greatest ever, I mean there are a lot of very kind American women.  Frankly I just love women and that's it.  Can't imagine not spending my life with a woman.

As for Peru, maybe coincidence but thre is not one but two local men in my direct association married to lovely Peruvian women.  By lovely I mean lovely from head to toe and deep in their hearts.  Total babes, and going on long marriages too.  

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:38 | Link to Comment Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Hey, Seek, you really want a woman? If that is the case, relax, you can be helped. You already created a faux persona, that's good. Now take a little of your money (few hundred dollars), and hire six professional indians at some IT-service center. These people will create a profile of you which they then use to access each and any dating-site of your choice. They will do all the chatting for you, and, for a little bonus (you certainly can afford) will also do all telephone calls necessary. All that would be left for you to do would be to choose the woman which suits you most and date her (don't take her out to dinner, by the way.) If she's alright, all the better - if she's not, well, then you lost only a few hours of time and some measly dollars, but at least tried. I shit you not! Your dating activities can be completely outsourced to india, leaving you with just the results. If you got the ressources (and I assert that you got them) to let this game play out for a while and don't have to hustle, some positive results should be unavoidable over time. In any case I wish you the best. May you find true happiness.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:14 | Link to Comment Curiously_Crazy
Curiously_Crazy's picture

My current strategy is to appear as middle-class as possible, but surprise, women are way less interested in me now! (lol)

One of these days I'll learn to read to the end of a thread before posting :) Shoulda known you'd already been trying it out.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 03:09 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Hey Seek, learn game, get with the manosphere, set up trusts overseas -- no idea how rich is rich to you but few attorneys have the resources and pull to sift overseas trusts in service of a divorce case.

Layers upon layers, and be ready at all times to fade, and burn to ash whatever you cannot liquidate and wire overseas.

Maintain a paper down-low marriage to a woman in Brazil - no extradition. Keep propery locked in nested trusts.

Good luck!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 03:11 | Link to Comment RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

And hey, if you need a groundskeeper who also does windshields let me know while I still have the majority of my teeth.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 04:55 | Link to Comment Curiously_Crazy
Curiously_Crazy's picture

Honest question: Is it really that difficult to not portray your wealth? If you drive a $200,000 car surely you can afford an old bomb you don't even need and park your nice one at a mates? If you go out to a restaurant make sure it's middle of the road at best. If she comes back to your place joke about "well the bank owns it and I'm going to be spending the rest of my life paying it off"?

I guess it's being deceiving but in your experience a lot have been deceiving to you. If she's really into you and you into her then do you reckon she would even *mind* being deceived in that way? Better than the other way around.

As someone who'll never be rich I'll never know (which is why I'm asking) but in my mind it wouldn't seem to hard to bullshit until you caught a long termer?


Sat, 12/28/2013 - 05:36 | Link to Comment Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 09:54 | Link to Comment Curiously_Crazy
Curiously_Crazy's picture

Nope. Not at all. There is and always will be grey areas.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 11:34 | Link to Comment Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

I think I failed to make clear what I mean. Of course there are grey areays, I would never deny that. What I meant to say is that you shall remain honest and not resort to any lies. If you don't want to tell - just say exactly that. If you want to tell - tell how much and what ever you like to, not more, not less - but don't lie. (Uninteresting sidenote: It was the bible I cited, Matthew 5, 37 ;)

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 13:50 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ eternity

I am now reading a book from the 1930s about the Sermon on the Mount:

The Sermon on the Mount

Emmet Fox


disclosure: triangle in the circle guy now...

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment seek
seek's picture

Hopefully you'll LOL at this, but as a cold war child I was wondering WTF this had to do with civil defense.

(I eventually got it.)

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 22:14 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Yow!  That took me back...  To my meeting at 5:30 PM just today!  LOL !!!

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 15:24 | Link to Comment seek
seek's picture

In my case most of the superficial stuff isn't that difficult -- part of the reason I'm wealthy is that I didn't adopt an insane lifestyle to go with it, and I still live in the dumpy house in the middle of nowhere that I bought when I was 21, so I didn't have to do anything extreme as far as living arrangements (once I was single again -- I had been renting a McMansion when I was with my last LTR girlfriend.)

As far as the $200K car, after the financial crash in late '08, I noticed outright hostility towards the slightest displays of wealth, and I traded in my Porsche for lower-end Jeep.

The things that often trip me up are social -- I can't date from the pool of people I know/who know me, because they're aware of the wealth. I was approached by a couple of women that were friends of my ex-girlfriend after we broke up and their intent to sign on to a gravy train was *very* obvious. Another issue I have is being very googleable -- fortunately this is changing as old news stories drop off, but in the mid-2000's dropping my name into the spy machine resulted in more than a half million hits, many of which were connected to finance and IB -- and I'm still close to 100K hits now. At that time it was incredibly obvious when I'd been googled by someone I was considering dating. There are lots of little things that can be a problem as well -- clothing, poise, attitude, knowledge base -- I've been "outed" by all of these things before -- virtually no one in the middle class has ever made a wire transfer, for example, or has clothing with even the most basic tailoring, etc.

On top of all this, you have to deal with a woman's intuition, and that's a RADAR that would embarrass the top stealth plane designers.

So it's actually much harder than you might think. Add to this that I won't ever actually lie about it (that's hardly the basis for a good relationship, after all) and it gets complicated, fast. I can maintain the middle-class illusion for about 6-8 weeks or until I get googled, after that I have to settle for the woman knowing that my total assets and income are larger than average, but not knowing the absolute figures.

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 22:20 | Link to Comment DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

What's a "wire transfer"?

What's "tailoring"?



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