Stop The Presses: Reuben Kressel, 66, Of Rego Park, Queens, Sells His 500 Shares Of Twitter

Tyler Durden's picture

Wondering why TWTR is down today? Wonder no more... The Wall Street Journal has seen fit to publish the full unadulterated story of how Reuben Kressel, 66, of Rego Park bought (and then stunningly sold) 500 shares of Twitter in just a few weeks for a 76% profit. "I sold out completely," Kressel warns, adding that he "didn't want to take any more chances."  Of course, the brokers love it... "in stocks like Twitter, the retail investor is finally starting to come back," Wedbush's director of equity trading gloats, "for the first time in a long time, retail investors are really starting to act differently." Forgive our modest sarcasm and incredulity but when this is an important business news story, believing that we are in anything but a bubble is akin to admitting to be the greater fool.



Via WSJ,

Mr. Kressel’s view illustrates the fickle nature of many retail investors who have piled into Twitter during its 182% rally since the San Francisco company’s IPO in early November. Some are true Twitter believers, others invest to make a quick buck. Brokers say the collective power of investors such as Mr. Kressel have played a crucial role in driving shares of Twitter, an unprofitable company, to such lofty levels.


“In a name like Twitter, the retail investor is finally starting to come back,” said Ian Winer director of equity trading at Wedbush Securities Inc., which acts as a market maker in Twitter shares. “For the first time in a long time, I’ve seen retail investors really starting to act differently.”




“I’m better off taking my chips off the table than getting killed,” Mr. Kressel said. “You know what they say: ‘Don’t be a pig.’”

There's your mistake Mr. Kressel - you BTFATH!! not sell it... but on the bright side - now he has money on the sidelines to buy moar of something else... like Tesla?


As a gentle reminder - what happened the last time the retail investor "acted differently"?

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piceridu's picture

Rego Park drone strike in 3, 2, 1....

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

...and they say they don't ring a bell at the top!

jaap's picture

ah, the greater fools coming in...

slotmouth's picture

After years of research Wall St has finally figured out that by restricting tradable float you can move the price however you want.  

tempo's picture

Trying to convince public that there is a way to "get rich quick", about the same odds of a mega lottery.

malikai's picture

It does. It reads just like that.

I'll bet the average WSJ reader is probably just about dumb enough to buy that shit.

Haager's picture

500 shares, and the stock moved strongly into the right direction? Bullish...

max2205's picture

Ha ha....they are not stocks anymore,  they are least he knows

El Vaquero's picture


"I sold out completely," Kressel warns, adding that he "didn't want to take any more chances."

He who panics first, wins. 

jubber's picture

also “You know what they say: ‘Don’t be a pig.’


Funny if the market crashed here that quote would go down in history, and he would be remembered for ever.."The man who crashed the market" wouldn't that be hilarious

Yancey Ward's picture

The rally will continue until the bagholders retail investors return.

Maroon Phoenix's picture

Yet the same press would say that glamorizing Jordan Belfort in "The Wolf of Wall Street" would be a shame. . .

youngman's picture

Those poor people at the old folks home are going to hear this sucess story for years...or at least until he dies or they turn off their hearing aids...

astoriajoe's picture

old folks home? he's only 66. He's gonna be working for another 10 years at least.

jimmytorpedo's picture

Bears make money.

Bulls make money.

Pigs get silk purses, or is that pearls?

NickVegas's picture

I think this Kressel fellow is an example of how the retail investor is approaching these markets. There is much to learn from his thinking and behavior. Thank you for this story. It has touched my heart.

Dr. No's picture

Raymond Kessel?  Looks like Tyler's wise words finally took hold.

williambanzai7's picture

I just tweeted this post...I wonder how much revenue I generated.

malikai's picture

Did you include a link to a cute little kitty kat picture?

If so, you probably paid for hookers and blow at the new years party.

NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

This has all the makings of a new reality show - The Investor starring Reuben Kressel.

Al Huxley's picture

Hope he doesn't turn out like Newton - out for a modest profit at ~70, back in from of sellers remorse at 140, then out again for the last time at 20.

Gringo Viejo's picture

"This is Kissel. Where in the hell are you guys?"

ncdirtdigger's picture

The key to the casino, is knowing when to get up from the table. (and it isn't when the 'free' drink shows up)

Nue's picture

Given how much Goverment seems to have fallen in love with Twitter I wonder if they'll be included on the T.A.R.P. 3.0 list.

Ned Zeppelin's picture

It is a heartwarming tale, no doubt.  The cuteness of this story derives from the fact that it is all about the wealth effect and its explanation of the mechanics of "trickle down" to the Hoi Polloi. They just need to invest. 

What more proof do you need of the noble intentions of our central bankers?

Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Ya this guy is the exception, not the rule. Good for him, but the purpose in publicizing this is to line up more muppets thinking they can throw 20k down and walk away with 35 in a couple weeks. Thins guy getting away with it will no doubt inspire a large number of gamblers to stroll up to the casino with their savings in hand hoping to make a buck. "Hey look honey, twitter is down 10% today, we should buy in now while its low, it's sure to go back up. We can make some easy money"

The Axe's picture

Retail BACK    catch out Sprint  the DRYBULK shippers   MCP  and TWTR and FB    thisis retail at its height!!!   go

Callz d Ballz's picture

I thought it was "don't be a hog"?  +70% is still pig territory IMO, nice play!

sodbuster's picture

I got "financial" outfits cold calling me on the phone again. "The market is red hot! You need to get in!" My first question? Where the hell were you in March 09? The last time I had this many calls? 2007. Before I hang up, I thank them for their help. I believe their timing is gonna be excellent!

devo's picture

Retail is soooo dumb.

DIgnified's picture

"Too much school"


-Hessel, Raymond K.

insanelysane's picture

Because selling such an unusual activity during these times, the WSJ thought it was worthy of a story.

MrBoompi's picture

The pigs are the insiders who know when to buy before a price goes up, and when to go short before a drop.  The pigs are the one who get a cut of every transaction, regardless of price, so their incentive is to maximize the number of transactions.  The pigs are the ones who see large orders from private investors before they hit the market and use HFT to game profits for themselves.  The pigs are the ones who get first use of newly created USD.  The pigs are the ones who manipulate any market for their own personal gain, just because they can and nobody will stop them.

ChaosEquilibrium's picture

I would CONGRATULATE ALL the stupid FUCKS that bought it at the TOP!


You deserve EVERYTHING you have coming to you.....or NOT coming to you!


Enjoy Your weekend---


that is all

walküre's picture

That ol' yid Kressel sold TWTR? Oi veh! Shit just got real!

Overdrawn's picture

Jobs for Tomorrow, future jobs report includes:

A l t e r n a t i ve  C u r re n c y Bankers. According to JavelinnStrategies, 20% of all online trades are already being done with alternative currencies. The stage is being set for next-generation alt-currency banks. Amnesia Surgeons. Specialized doctors will be skilled in removing bad memories or destructive behavior. Avatar Relationship Managers. As the foibles of humanity enter the realm of autonomous, free thinking avatars, people will find it necessary to both manage and limit the often dangerous relationships that avatars get themselves into. Brain Quants. This is where the stock market manipulators of the past meet the brain manipulators of the future to usurp control of Madison Avenue. Seed Capitalists. In the startup business world there is a huge gulf between initial concept and fundable prototypes. This dearth of funding options will require an entirely new profession. Seed capitalists will specialize in high-risk, early-stage startups. If they get more than 100% return on their investments, they will be docked for not taking enough risk
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Sounds suspiciously like Raymond K Hessel....

NickVegas's picture

I've thought it out, all the possible outcomes, and the conclusion is startling.



Downtoolong's picture

Just once, I wish the sap who bought this shit at $74 bucks would step up and explain why he or she did it.

But alas, they’re probably protected from having to do so under the non-disclosure policy of the pension fund they manage.

Furthermore, their broker would probably stop treating them to strip clubs if they confessed the truth.