Stop The Presses: Reuben Kressel, 66, Of Rego Park, Queens, Sells His 500 Shares Of Twitter

Tyler Durden's picture


Wondering why TWTR is down today? Wonder no more... The Wall Street Journal has seen fit to publish the full unadulterated story of how Reuben Kressel, 66, of Rego Park bought (and then stunningly sold) 500 shares of Twitter in just a few weeks for a 76% profit. "I sold out completely," Kressel warns, adding that he "didn't want to take any more chances."  Of course, the brokers love it... "in stocks like Twitter, the retail investor is finally starting to come back," Wedbush's director of equity trading gloats, "for the first time in a long time, retail investors are really starting to act differently." Forgive our modest sarcasm and incredulity but when this is an important business news story, believing that we are in anything but a bubble is akin to admitting to be the greater fool.



Via WSJ,

Mr. Kressel’s view illustrates the fickle nature of many retail investors who have piled into Twitter during its 182% rally since the San Francisco company’s IPO in early November. Some are true Twitter believers, others invest to make a quick buck. Brokers say the collective power of investors such as Mr. Kressel have played a crucial role in driving shares of Twitter, an unprofitable company, to such lofty levels.


“In a name like Twitter, the retail investor is finally starting to come back,” said Ian Winer director of equity trading at Wedbush Securities Inc., which acts as a market maker in Twitter shares. “For the first time in a long time, I’ve seen retail investors really starting to act differently.”




“I’m better off taking my chips off the table than getting killed,” Mr. Kressel said. “You know what they say: ‘Don’t be a pig.’”

There's your mistake Mr. Kressel - you BTFATH!! not sell it... but on the bright side - now he has money on the sidelines to buy moar of something else... like Tesla?


As a gentle reminder - what happened the last time the retail investor "acted differently"?

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Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:48 | 4279475 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Rego Park drone strike in 3, 2, 1....

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:56 | 4279507 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

...and they say they don't ring a bell at the top!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:16 | 4279572 jaap
jaap's picture

ah, the greater fools coming in...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:24 | 4279594 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

After years of research Wall St has finally figured out that by restricting tradable float you can move the price however you want.  

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:54 | 4279510 tempo
tempo's picture

Trying to convince public that there is a way to "get rich quick", about the same odds of a mega lottery.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:48 | 4279681 malikai
malikai's picture

It does. It reads just like that.

I'll bet the average WSJ reader is probably just about dumb enough to buy that shit.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:46 | 4279477 Haager
Haager's picture

500 shares, and the stock moved strongly into the right direction? Bullish...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:57 | 4279512 max2205
max2205's picture

Ha ha....they are not stocks anymore,  they are least he knows

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:46 | 4279479 dbTX
dbTX's picture

Smart man.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:50 | 4279482 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture


"I sold out completely," Kressel warns, adding that he "didn't want to take any more chances."

He who panics first, wins. 

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:54 | 4279499 jubber
jubber's picture

also “You know what they say: ‘Don’t be a pig.’


Funny if the market crashed here that quote would go down in history, and he would be remembered for ever.."The man who crashed the market" wouldn't that be hilarious

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 13:59 | 4279525 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

The rally will continue until the bagholders retail investors return.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:02 | 4279530 Maroon Phoenix
Maroon Phoenix's picture

Yet the same press would say that glamorizing Jordan Belfort in "The Wolf of Wall Street" would be a shame. . .

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:06 | 4279537 youngman
youngman's picture

Those poor people at the old folks home are going to hear this sucess story for years...or at least until he dies or they turn off their hearing aids...

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:10 | 4279550 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

old folks home? he's only 66. He's gonna be working for another 10 years at least.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:16 | 4279579 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Bears make money.

Bulls make money.

Pigs get silk purses, or is that pearls?

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:05 | 4279542 NickVegas
NickVegas's picture

I think this Kressel fellow is an example of how the retail investor is approaching these markets. There is much to learn from his thinking and behavior. Thank you for this story. It has touched my heart.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:09 | 4279557 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Raymond Kessel?  Looks like Tyler's wise words finally took hold.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:13 | 4279567 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I just tweeted this post...I wonder how much revenue I generated.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:48 | 4279687 malikai
malikai's picture

Did you include a link to a cute little kitty kat picture?

If so, you probably paid for hookers and blow at the new years party.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:21 | 4279593 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Oh. My. God.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:22 | 4279598 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Shldnt that B "OMG"

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:31 | 4279642 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

This has all the makings of a new reality show - The Investor starring Reuben Kressel.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:31 | 4279643 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Hope he doesn't turn out like Newton - out for a modest profit at ~70, back in from of sellers remorse at 140, then out again for the last time at 20.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:37 | 4279659 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

"This is Kissel. Where in the hell are you guys?"

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 14:41 | 4279667 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

The key to the casino, is knowing when to get up from the table. (and it isn't when the 'free' drink shows up)

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:00 | 4279726 Nue
Nue's picture

Given how much Goverment seems to have fallen in love with Twitter I wonder if they'll be included on the T.A.R.P. 3.0 list.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:03 | 4279727 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

It is a heartwarming tale, no doubt.  The cuteness of this story derives from the fact that it is all about the wealth effect and its explanation of the mechanics of "trickle down" to the Hoi Polloi. They just need to invest. 

What more proof do you need of the noble intentions of our central bankers?

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:53 | 4281095 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Ya this guy is the exception, not the rule. Good for him, but the purpose in publicizing this is to line up more muppets thinking they can throw 20k down and walk away with 35 in a couple weeks. Thins guy getting away with it will no doubt inspire a large number of gamblers to stroll up to the casino with their savings in hand hoping to make a buck. "Hey look honey, twitter is down 10% today, we should buy in now while its low, it's sure to go back up. We can make some easy money"

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:03 | 4279731 The Axe
The Axe's picture

Retail BACK    catch out Sprint  the DRYBULK shippers   MCP  and TWTR and FB    thisis retail at its height!!!   go

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:02 | 4279735 Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

I thought it was "don't be a hog"?  +70% is still pig territory IMO, nice play!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:10 | 4279757 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

I got "financial" outfits cold calling me on the phone again. "The market is red hot! You need to get in!" My first question? Where the hell were you in March 09? The last time I had this many calls? 2007. Before I hang up, I thank them for their help. I believe their timing is gonna be excellent!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:14 | 4279767 devo
devo's picture

Retail is soooo dumb.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 15:19 | 4279774 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

"Too much school"


-Hessel, Raymond K.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 16:03 | 4279895 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Because selling such an unusual activity during these times, the WSJ thought it was worthy of a story.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 17:13 | 4280112 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

The pigs are the insiders who know when to buy before a price goes up, and when to go short before a drop.  The pigs are the one who get a cut of every transaction, regardless of price, so their incentive is to maximize the number of transactions.  The pigs are the ones who see large orders from private investors before they hit the market and use HFT to game profits for themselves.  The pigs are the ones who get first use of newly created USD.  The pigs are the ones who manipulate any market for their own personal gain, just because they can and nobody will stop them.

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 17:23 | 4280131 ChaosEquilibrium
ChaosEquilibrium's picture

I would CONGRATULATE ALL the stupid FUCKS that bought it at the TOP!


You deserve EVERYTHING you have coming to you.....or NOT coming to you!


Enjoy Your weekend---


that is all

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 17:26 | 4280147 walküre
walküre's picture

That ol' yid Kressel sold TWTR? Oi veh! Shit just got real!

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 17:38 | 4280179 Overdrawn
Overdrawn's picture

Jobs for Tomorrow, future jobs report includes:

A l t e r n a t i ve  C u r re n c y Bankers. According to JavelinnStrategies, 20% of all online trades are already being done with alternative currencies. The stage is being set for next-generation alt-currency banks. Amnesia Surgeons. Specialized doctors will be skilled in removing bad memories or destructive behavior. Avatar Relationship Managers. As the foibles of humanity enter the realm of autonomous, free thinking avatars, people will find it necessary to both manage and limit the often dangerous relationships that avatars get themselves into. Brain Quants. This is where the stock market manipulators of the past meet the brain manipulators of the future to usurp control of Madison Avenue. Seed Capitalists. In the startup business world there is a huge gulf between initial concept and fundable prototypes. This dearth of funding options will require an entirely new profession. Seed capitalists will specialize in high-risk, early-stage startups. If they get more than 100% return on their investments, they will be docked for not taking enough risk
Fri, 12/27/2013 - 18:33 | 4280324 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Sounds suspiciously like Raymond K Hessel....

Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:55 | 4280727 NickVegas
NickVegas's picture

I've thought it out, all the possible outcomes, and the conclusion is startling.



Fri, 12/27/2013 - 21:08 | 4280627 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Just once, I wish the sap who bought this shit at $74 bucks would step up and explain why he or she did it.

But alas, they’re probably protected from having to do so under the non-disclosure policy of the pension fund they manage.

Furthermore, their broker would probably stop treating them to strip clubs if they confessed the truth.

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