"It's OK, You Can Admit It..." - The "Independent" US Media Just Wants You To Shop Till You Drop

Tyler Durden's picture

The holidays are a time for giving... to yourself if the "independent" US media has anything to do with it... (come on, who deserves it more anyway?)


Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Manipuflation's picture

So now is the time to go get Mrs. M a Christmas present?

CrazyCooter's picture

Ironically, I bought a fair bit of merino wool for the wife (Minus 33 makes amazing merion wool base layers - feel like cotton and machine washable/dryable with natural soap on delicate). Stuff is expensive, but well made and lasts a long time. I wore a set for a part time job (~3 days a week) for the better part of a year and a half and the stuff held up great.

Um, after that I bought stuff for the kitchen mostly. I am saving a fat gift certifcate for the winter clearance sales in several months. Best time to buy Pendleton stuff.

After that, it is just paying down my last bit of debt and waving buh-bye to borrowing!

Hint: Google total bastard airlines skit.



P.S. They can keep all their consumer shit. Don't need none of that. :-)

Decolat's picture

My big ticket item this year was the Katadyn Pocket waterfilter, courtesy of Hedgeless Horseman's suggestion. Thanks HH!


And the wife gave it to me so it's all good. With 'our' money. ;) 

tony wilson's picture

merino wool !

listen faggot deres a storm cumin like you would not believe i bets you go to the nail bar and i bets you got a perm : )

by the time national service finished wid you boy you will be lucky to get a fema plastic coffin jacket

CrazyCooter's picture

I am not exactly sure what your presupposition is here, but I suspect I could highlight your flawed logic with the following fact:

I live in Alaska.

I would also point out I purchased "base layer clothing" which you didn't quite figure out has zero fashion value since you wear it under your other clothes.

When it is cold out, particularly when its damp or I am sweaty, I like to "feel warm". Wool is warm even when wet or sweaty.



Rock On Roger's picture

I've been wearing that merino wool underclothing for three years, longs in winter, shorts in summer. I wear the light stuff, heavy weight is too warm. -34 celcius here tonight. Best damn longjohns and t shirts I've ever worn.


Tony must be a city boy. Ankle socks and scarves are likely his fashion.


Stack On

Eeyores Enigma's picture

Everyone missed the message here.

Conan states the big story is a Judge ruling AGAINST snooping by NSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"U.S. judge says NSA phone surveillance is lawful"

Oops just an honest slip right?

HELLO??????? Oh well I guess Americans can all rest easy now right...WRONG!

caShOnlY's picture

Scripted media.   This shows you exactly who the media works for.

Skateboarder's picture

I am currently on an Amtrak and the content blocking filter has blocked the video. However from the comments, I don't even need to watch the video because I've watched this kind of shit several times already. Hell, even Jon Stewart (whatever his regular joo name is) exposed the scripted media on his show.

They all say the same exact words, word per word. You really have to be dumber than a rock to not recognize the pattern (if you watch TV, but isn't that the goal of TV anyhow, to make you dumber than a rock?)

jekyll island's picture

From Wiki:  


Jon Stewart (born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz; November 28, 1962)[6] is an American political satirist, writer, director, television host, actor, media critic, and stand-up comedian. He is widely known as host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central.

mjcOH1's picture

"From Wiki:  

 Jon Stewart (born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz; November 28, 1962)[6] is an American political satirist, writer, director, television host, actor, media critic, and stand-up comedian. He is widely known as host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central."

how about...

"He describes himself in high school as "very into Eugene Debs and a bit of a leftist."[16]....
After college, Stewart held numerous jobs: a contingency planner for the New Jersey Department of Human Services, a contract administrator for the City University of New York, a puppeteer for children with disabilities, a soccer coach at Gloucester High School in Virginia, a caterer, a busboy, a shelf stocker at Woolworth's, and a bartender at the Franklin Corner Tavern, a local blue-collar bar. ...
Later in 1993, Stewart developed The Jon Stewart Show, a talk show on MTV. The Jon Stewart Show was the first talk show on that network and was an instant hit, becoming the second-highest rated MTV show behind Beavis and Butt-head.[26]"

Now that is comedy gold....

Bob's picture


zerozulu, much thanks for the video link.  I usually think of them as an annoyance  I really don't have time for, text being so much quicker, but I just had to look!

Drop dead fucking devastating.  A brilliant addition to the video featured in this article.  Wow. 

kchrisc's picture

When Bush was the head puppet, I used to watch, off the Internet, Jon Stewart show clips from the scripted media. All the "outlets," so called conservative and liberal, used the same words and phrases. LOL


"Reality is included in the script."

Winston Smith 2009's picture

Media consolidation and the corresponding great reduction in independent reporting and investigative journalism.  It's cheaper and more profitable that way, but it destroys the former mission of the "free" press as the "fourth estate" government watchdog.  Now, they far too often simply repeat press releases from "government sources." Thus, the successful drumbeat for war in Iraq and the firing of the few people in the media who challenged it.

Skateboarder's picture

At some point in your life you have to ask who these "sources" are, and why they can never be named. WSJ is the worst. I read that shit for too long and never seen them name a single motherfucker. Always "sources"...

Glad I gave up newspapers. Hell, I make it sound like a hard drug lol.

zerozulu's picture

You can admit it there is no escape route left for you.

Emergency Ward's picture

One of the talking heads allows me to buy not one, two or ten, but THREE things for myself.  I wonder if she was censured for deviating from the script.

ebworthen's picture

Satan likes odd numbers.

I wasn't counting but was that 33 separate news desks with the identical script?

Conan tags it:  "That's scary...I find it frightening actually."

Withdrawn Sanction's picture

"Satan likes odd numbers."

So why is his number, 666?

ebworthen's picture

He is the antipode of God which makes him 333.

If he wants to conquer the Earth and Heaven he has to become 666, but he can't so he will end up as 166.5.

Skateboarder's picture

Sure there is - plenty of 'em! I got one modern one, but my top three include what your and my ancestors have been doing forever:

1) Skateboarding
2) Chillin with family and friends [booze and pot optional but recommended]
3) Introspection

The man with pointy horns's picture

Skateboarding -- alas -- has only been around since the 60s. But I do believe that skateboarders are the next evolutionary step in mankind.

How many years have you racked up skateboarder skateboarding?

Skateboarder's picture

13 and counting homie. We got a long long way to go before concrete is no more, and you can bet your ass I'll be skating every flat surface until then.

Emergency Ward's picture

It is mind-boggling that these are all "different" networks.  In different venues.  What was that source again?

logicalman's picture

No 'news'papers for me, as there's never any real news in them.

I was in a store recently where a guy tried to sign me up for a subscription. He asked me if I'd like a 'free' newspaper.

I answered in the affirmative, then pointed out that a free newspaper doesn't exist.

He gave me a funny look and moved on to someone else!


AngelEyes00's picture

Conan at the end says "I find that scary."

So let me get this straight.  National retailers are now able to script news wording to inform us we have the right to buy ourselves 10 gifts?

Have you ever noticed that just before the xmas buying season, the media comes out with bogus predictions of less than stellar sales for the upcoming season?  That's a psychological prod to get you to react by saying to yourself, "Well, things are doing just fine for me, and I'm going to prove it by getting everybody great gifts." That message is just as carefully scripted as the crap in that video clip.  The retailers are treating people like guinea pigs, and the media evidently is their tool.

YHC-FTSE's picture

@ manipuflation

You have to put in the /sarc tag to get the green arrows,  Mr.M. Not that I would encourage prostituting oneself for peer validation. 

True to my word (& my wallet) I gave nothing but hugs and home-printed cards to friends and family (except for my baby sis who got half oz of au) at Christmas. I wish I can say all of them were pleased about it, but they mostly hid their disappointments well. Was it liberating not to play the rabid consumer?  Yes. Did I get wry pleasure from watching the maniacs scrambling for crap at the malls? Yes. :) 

Mate, Hope you had a good Christmas and wish you all the best in the New Year.


JohnnyBriefcase's picture

It feels so good to uncontribute the "christmas™" season.

Ignatius's picture

These segments are a real public service that Conan is providing to them that still watch TV.

And what's UP with his hair?  Geezus, I could sharpen an ax on that crown.

Mobius Poop's picture

Not since Smaug laid waste to the network.

Sofa King Confused's picture

Thats our breaking news in this country.

Controlled brainwashing.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Not much different than local or national news "repeaters" reading a corporate PR "news" release as if it were original copy written by the 'repeater". After all who has the time to actually report the news, let alone dig it up. What's the harm in reading the corporate PR copy verbatim. It's a victimless crime.....right?

<Right. Just keep telling yourself that until you believe it.>

El Vaquero's picture

Those anchors, they're lemmings, the lot of 'em. 

Ranger_Will's picture

I respectfully disagee. 

Lemmings act on intinct and operate under a herd mentality during mass migratations.  You're showing mad disrespect for lemmings imho.


The sad truth about the Presstitutes is that these people know damn well what they're doing and do it with the willful intent to decieve for their salary and self-inflated egos.

I'll tell you for one that if this thing ever devolves to a shootin' war it's these 'talking heads' that will be the first to pop in sight-pictures around the country...and in my locale as well.

DOGGONE's picture

In case you did not see my Comment, I try to UNbrainwash the population with these histories.

nmewn's picture

"The sad truth about the Presstitutes is that these people know damn well what they're doing and do it with the willful intent to decieve for their salary and self-inflated egos."

By & large, absolutely.

“Until we fully understand what turned two brothers who allegedly perpetrated the Boston Marathon bombings into murderers, it is hard to make any policy recommendation other than this: We need to redouble our efforts to make America stronger and healthier so it remains a vibrant counterexample to whatever bigoted ideology may have gripped these young men....And the best place to start is with a carbon tax.” - Thomas Friedman

You see, only with a carbon tax can American marathon runners be made safe...or sumpin.

Other MSM characters however, are just fucking nuts:

“We have never invested as much in public education as we should have, (edit ROTFL!!!) because we’ve always had kind of a private notion of children....(edit, ummm wut?) We haven’t had a very collective notion of these are our children....(edit, no, they clearly have my last name and you send nothing my way as means of supporting them) We have to break through our kind of private idea that kids belong to their parents, or kids belong to their families, and recognize that kids belong to whole communities.” - Frau Melissa Harris-Perry (who clearly has her hair braided too tightly).

But the theme is always the same...nanny-statism and/or National Socialism.

Winston Smith 2009's picture

"And the best place to start is with a carbon tax"

The next opportunity for massive fraud that became clear to me years ago, but apparently not to the authors of the PBS documentary segment, when I saw some guy recording the specs and GPS location of a tree in a South American jungle to be "sold" as a "carbon sink."  Right, I can't see any possible way to game that.../s

nmewn's picture

I knew it was a fraud when I discovered the data was compromised.

Many unmanned stations are improperly (though unintentional I believe) positioned next to asphalt parking lots and air conditioning exhaust etc. and with the collapse of the Soviet Union manned stations simply quit reporting, naturally. Then throw in the intentional manipulation of data by vested interests like the University of Colorado and East Anglia (Phil Jones & Michael Mann) and its revealed as nothing more than a hoax by those interested parties.

shovelhead's picture

Didn't Michael Mann direct "Heat" and "Last of the East Anglians"?

Wes Studi as the Crying Indian should have won an Oscar.


nmewn's picture


Also, the movie Thief, starring Al Gore as a limo riding elitist snob & presumptive poet-politician spurned by the public by day and a cat burgling family jewel thief by night.

Kinda of a neo noir thingy.


To my junker(s)...wut...I can't twist & turn our reality into what I think my reality should be, like you?

Gird your loins, "comrades" ;-)

post turtle saver's picture

lol see I hit a nerve... truth hurts doesn't it

pleseus's picture

Oh, so all of the news is cooked up in some central processing facility. The empire is in decline.

JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Dude, welcome to the last 30/40 years.