"The Stock Market" In 2013 - For 5-Year-Olds

Tyler Durden's picture

Just Do Da Maf...



(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

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VD's picture

n dat EPS is onli at 6% bc of SAME din dat jackd price up to 31%: QE.




n EBT cardz n oder gov meddlin



Mr Pink's picture

Sadly, that 5 yr old could invest his lunch money in the S+P 500 in 2014 and he will absolutely smoke my returns on my pile of silver

VD's picture

u should c da chartz on da top 8 private prison corps for 2013 : smoked every fukin ding oyt dere : sayd sayd stayte of affairz fer ussa aka prizon-induystriyal complyx...

giggler321's picture

Stacking isn't about ROI per se but in due course just holding something of value will likely repay to some degree.  I still question the logic of the doomsday posters on ZH only because at some point you may need to sell and that assumes there will be a buyer or capable buyer; I mean they'll all be billionares like in Zimbabwe, unable to buy food.  You may end up swapping for stuff you need and in that scenario I doubt you'll profit

A family friend bought approx. 18Kg when it was close to 50$/oz.  Let's just say I doubt she'll buy any more and thinks people who tout it are pretty mad.  I knoiw she would have prefered extending her home with a new custom conservatory but that isn't going to happen now - remember you can't take it with you!  Metal or bricks

Quinvarius's picture

Your friend was smart to buy physical silver, even at $50.  I don't know that the truth will ever be proven on what happened after JPM became custodian and a COMEX registered vault.  But ask yourself this:  What would the inventory levels of the SLV and the COMEX have to look like if every ounce from SLV was secretly dumped into the market and further purchases were all being hi-jacked back into the COMEX system?  And consider in the same line of thinking, although the SLV can settle in cash, so it has no legal requirement to hold silver beyond delivery requests, what would it have to do if it did not have the cash to settle?

All you have to do is imagine what the biggest and most corrupt ahole would do in any given situation where bankers are involved.  That is generally what is going to happen.


OwnSilverPlayMusic's picture

also, it's different this time

A Lunatic's picture


666's picture

Ohhhh, look at the pretty colors!

DirkDiggler11's picture

You forgot about Old Yeller and the printing press ...

qqqqtrader's picture



my wawlstrweet skool maf sho's fare va'u...

6 X 31 = 186 + 0 = 1860

moar upside! 


Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Too important not to post.


Remind yourself to call this guy by the distinction he deserves when the Queen lays that blade on his shoulder!


ChaosEquilibrium's picture

It is how British have 'done it' for 300 years.......Hide the Stink....Deceit.....and Fraud.....behind a SIR!


Fucking wankers could not even conquer and qwell a few colonials.....a weak bunch by seed!

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

I beg to differ.

If you're talking about their "biggest" colony, they had it bitch slapped and sitting in the corner after 36 years it declared it's independence. 

Don't forget the charter(s) of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd central banks that put them in the driver's seat and have never left us both before and after our "Revolution".

Skateboarder's picture

Nobel Peace Prize to choomboy is more insulting, but this is nearly as gross.

Instead of 'Sir,' let's call the undeserving 'Durrr.' It'll teach 'em a lesson.

One And Only's picture

EPS? You mean FBS (Fed Balance Sheet)?

VD's picture

it FiBS cause it fibz...

algol_dog's picture

Cry baby's. All of ya'z ... Should've sold your gold and bought the S&P a year ago, and yes,  I'm giving myself the only thumbs up, because no one here will admit that they were, and am, still wrong ....

Tinky's picture

"are", not "am"

Other than that, your post was truly brilliant.

Cacete de Ouro's picture

Where is the perennial year-end top 10 articles of the year post (or top 20 or 25...I forget)?

Did I miss it, or is it slated for tomorrow?

Cacete de Ouro's picture

Price up 31%
EPS up 6%

'Awesome multiple expansion' say the Wall Street sell-side idiots, 'you know, it's when the P/E goes up without earnings going up, but hold on, I remember on my grad course the guy said something about why this happens, but, but, I can't recall....who cares anyway, it's up, that's the main thing. These companies I cover are awesome, and the prices are great value even now since they're under valued according to our model of discounted dickflow'.

Research MD: 'Thats quite enough discounted dickflow out of you until next year buddy'.

Aside comment to Research Director: 'Remind me to fire that douche in January. Who hired that guy anyway? He's sailing too close to the truth for my liking'.

CrashisOptimistic's picture

Stop talking EPS.  Start talking profit.

Share buybacks have corrupted EPS, and even with that corruption . . . just 6%.

starman's picture

Ad in inflation and the market just barely recovered.

Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

It doesnt matter. The price is going up becuase of anticipated future earnings. even if earning are only up 6 % this year, it means that next year, we will REALLY be recovering, and spending a shitload more money. So this means that everyone KNOWS these stocks are going to be taking in a shitload of revenue during this economic recovery that is taking place right now. It is taking place right now, i know cuz obama told me so. FOARWARD!

Clowns on Acid's picture

Why didn't that 5 yr old color another "stick" in there called QE? Would have been the highest point in that histogram....

NeverRetiring's picture

Someone should figure out how to combine that nice Margin Debt graph on this one so the 5yr old can understand HOW the disconnect happened. Bah, too hard, let's just BTATMDH (But The All Time Margin Debt High)!! 

Satan's picture

My daddy sed it's differint dis tyme caus of it's the new norman.

Disenchanted's picture

Isn't your daddy Gawd?

btw, your brother's name is Lloyd, right?