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The Best And Worst Hedge Funds Of 2013

Tyler Durden's picture





 

In a year when everyone was a winner (thank you Fed and BOJ) if some were bigger winners than others yet when virtually everyone underperformed the S&P, the biggest irony was that the very aptly named Keynes Leveraged Quantitative Strategies Fund was actually down -6.88% YTD and one of the 20 worst performing funds of the year. As for everyone else, hopefully their LPs are forgiving and don't expect that in exchange for 2 and 20 that their funds would outperform the S&P for the first time in 5 years.

Best and Worst hedge funds of 2013:

The performance of select brand name hedge funds through mid/late December versus the S&P500:

And the full breakdown via HSBC:

 


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Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:01 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Are we under attack?

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:05 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

weird

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:18 | Link to Comment Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

I think the NSA just plugged in their Y-splitter.  they must have snuck a tech into the highly-fortified ZH server vault.......

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:14 | Link to Comment dcohen
dcohen's picture

Worst funds are those that still believe in market forces. Totally naive as to the time perspective. Sooner or later the market forces will win, but it could take another 100 years or more, even a 1000+ years, yet even more. It might happen tomorrow. They are simply naive, all their talk about metrics and BS, this is a 99 % rigged market, live with it.

Best performing funds are those that have a direct communication line with the FED, its satellite banks, trade on insider info, knows the manipulated data before hand, knows the juice the FED has planned for them in advance, and have a secret agreement to never again let the bears produce another red day ever, because this is America, and we are the best! USA USA USA!

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:18 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ala one Mr. Tepper.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:35 | Link to Comment NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

It's imperative that one go "balls to the walls" at all times.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Yup. +100 dcohen - took me a while to realize that...actually don't know if I have completely realized it yet. Short Q's for the last week.

Best play must be selling bear call spreads on bonds or selling bull put spreads on TBT. Thinkin' 'bout that.  

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:16 | Link to Comment HUGE_Gamma
HUGE_Gamma's picture

Keynes Leveraged Quantitative Strategies Fund  Lol - tell us more about these clowns. 

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:21 | Link to Comment Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Their Annual Report will state that they successfully hedged against all market gains in 2013.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:20 | Link to Comment Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

the biggest irony was that the very aptly named Keynes Leveraged Quantitative Strategies Fund was actually down -6.88% YTD and one of the 20 worst performing funds of the year.

LOL!!!! i bet they paid big bucks for that little one sided edumacation eh???  All the proof one needs right there. 


Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:21 | Link to Comment assistedliving
assistedliving's picture

well...try to have a Happier New Year 2014 to our Far East brethren

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:25 | Link to Comment Gyoza Mimi
Gyoza Mimi's picture

Looking at the hedgefund returns year after year it is difficult to shake off the feeling that investing with hedgefunds is nothing more than investing in triple-leveraged ETFs: the magnification of fund returns is guaranteed relative to the mean, but the direction is random - you can win 50% or you can lose just as much. The only difference between investing into leveraged ETF and hedgefunds is that ETFs fo not require investors to share their profits with someone who supposedly through luck and excessive risk managed to guess the direction of the move this year.

 

There seems to be no gurus in the hedgefund market. Only gamblers betting money of others in random and uneducated bets, getting lucky from time to time.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 14:38 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Ahmmm ... so what has changed in the past 25 years in the hedge funds..?

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:28 | Link to Comment disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

I drink your milkshake!

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 13:38 | Link to Comment greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

>> I drink your milkshake!

I might not want to know what that means.

 

 

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 14:15 | Link to Comment Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

Eclectica, what a frigging joke. That loud-mouthed jerk Hendry was spouting how much money he was going to make shorting gold miners, but still fucked up big time.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 14:15 | Link to Comment Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

and are these performance figures before or after fees and charges?

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 15:12 | Link to Comment Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

Tepper AKA Mr. Know It All couldn't even beat the S&P.

I hate that dick.

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

If you want to test the (a) Competence and (b) Integrity of your so-called Certified* Financial Planner (CFP), all you have to do is...

ask him/her:  "How much of my/our Stock Portfolio should be in the S&P?"

If they pass this test (~80% in S&P), you then ask him/her how much to hold in Real Assets (productive property), how much to store/hedge in gold bullion and how much in BTC.  Remember, the sole purpose is to test their Competence and Integrity, while remembering where they make their Commissions & Bonuses (which will totally drive their answer).  Depending on their answers, you may have to find another CFP.

* 'Certified' by TPTB.  Need we say moar?

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 15:50 | Link to Comment Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

While being no Hedge Fund Mgr, Simon Black did advise his audience at his Offshore Workshop in Santiago, Chile (early April) to look into and and buy some Bitcoin.  It was trading ~ $100 at the time.  Compared to its rise, it makes even the "top performers" in the above list look kinda puny.

You know what amazes me the most about the Financial community -- but shouldn't?  That these self-serving people (mostly parasites of questionable competence and character) ALWAYS have a good story for (a) the lousy results and (b) why it was smart to avoid the vehicle that DID perform well.

If you understand ANYTHING about the famed Mazlov Hierarchy of Needs, you should know that your needs are NOT very high on their hierarchy of needs.  Put another way -- as I often like to say:  "THERE IS NOTHING MORE PREDICTABLE THAN THE LAWS OF NATURE AND HUMAN NATURE." (c) 2013, All rights reserved.

You may want to hedge and plan accordingly.

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