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The Fed Is Hiring: Lots Of Cops

Tyler Durden's picture


Some may have forgotten, or not be aware, that the Federal Reserve system has its own police force. Well, it does: "The U.S. Federal Reserve Police is the law enforcement arm of the Federal Reserve System, the central banking system of the United States.... Officers are certified to carry a variety of weapons systems (depending on assignment) including semi-automatic pistols, assault rifles, submachine guns, shotguns, less-lethal weapons, pepper spray, batons and other standard police equipment. Officers also wear bullet resistant vests/body armor. On October 12, 2010 President Barack Obama signed into law S.B. 1132 the "Law Enforcement Officers' Safety Act Improvements Act", which states that law enforcement officers of the Federal Reserve are "qualified law enforcement officers" and thus are authorized to carry a firearm off-duty."

At last check, there were over 1000 sworn members of the Fed police force. And judging by the recent spike in appearances of such "help wanted" ads as those shown below, that number is too low. We expect many more job postings such as these to appear in the coming weeks and months: in fact, we are willing to predict that the closer we get to a "renormalization" of the Fed's balance sheet, the faster the hiring of Fed cops...


Position Summary:

Law Enforcement Officer

The Law Enforcement Officer is responsible for the protection of Bank property, valuables, and staff. Maintains security perimeter at building entrances, and performs routine building patrols to prevent unauthorized entry to premises, provide fire protection, and deter criminal and other irregular activities. Performs public relations functions by answering inquiries and providing direction to employees and visitors. Enforces federal laws and Federal Reserve policies and regulations to protect life, property and assets. Responds to incidents on Bank property and provides emergency  services. This position is an essential function of the Bank and may require extended work hours and/or work during emergency or crisis situations.

* * *

Police Technician

It's about respect and recognition from your peers. It's you. At the Federal Reserve Bank, we operate a part of the nation's bank, helping to shape policies that enable people to purchase homes, send their children to school, and to live greater lives. It's a good feeling, knowing that your work holds such meaning. It's an even better feeling, knowing that you're doing so with a team that recognizes the talents that make you unique. Join us today.

Are you looking for a challenging and rewarding position? Look no further!

Key Responsibilities:

  • Develops and maintains proficiency in areas such as weapons (lethal and non-lethal), first aid, CPR, fire fighting techniques, civil disorders, and public relations, by attending training classes. Must exhibit spontaneous good judgment over life and safety issues (shoot and don’t shoot scenarios, discrete handling of detected weapons and/or explosive devices, when to employ use of life saving and rescue equipment, etc.).
  • Controls pedestrian and vehicle access to the facility, patrols building and reports unusual situations or unauthorized individuals. Responds to general alarm, provides emergency service, and follows local response protocol until the alarm or situation has been resolved. Monitors Bank departments for safety or security violation and reports findings to department management. May prepare and/or review appropriate shift reports and distributes as required. Works all posts. Prepares logs and input information pertaining to incident and daily activity reports in prescribed format.
  • Monitors metal detectors or utilizes metal detection wands to scan visitors, personal items, and packages for unauthorized items. Monitors and authorizes visitors accessing Bank facilities and records visitor data on appropriate logs. Monitors surveillance equipment, intercoms, telephones, radios, and other specialized equipment. Inspects vehicles entering security sensitive areas for unauthorized personnel or contents.
  • Operates as a law enforcement officer pursuant to the authority given the Board of Governors by Section 11 (q) of the Federal Reserve Act. Authorized personnel act as law enforcement officers pursuant to regulations of the Board of Governors and approved by the U.S. Attorney General (Uniform Regulations for Federal Reserve Law Enforcement Officers).
  • On an as needed basis may conduct initial investigations into accidents and incidents, make proper notifications to the senior law enforcement officer on duty, and perform follow up duties as directed by supervisor. Could be needed to testify in court in response to a subpoena regarding accidents or incidents.
  • Develops proficiency in use of personal computer (PC) and related software, computerized access and control systems, video surveillance equipment, x-ray and metal screening equipment, various alarms systems and Automated External Defibrillators.
  • On an as needed basis may participate in special assignments to protect dignitaries of a Reserve Bank or the Board of Governors, this could include escorting visitors, contractors and/or vendors working in high security areas.


  • Education: High School Diploma or GED
  • Experience: Less than two years

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Sat, 01/04/2014 - 11:55 | 4299695 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

"dignitaries of a Reserve Bank or the Board of Governors"

Interesting how they view themselves.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:03 | 4299708 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

To serve and protect criminals

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:05 | 4299714 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

a private bank with its own police force;  how quaint.

do as thou wilt is the whole of the law.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:06 | 4299728 VD
VD's picture

incredible and simply ILLEGAL.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:12 | 4299740 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Unconstitutional, you mean. I'm sure this shit is all nice and 'legal.'

Oh that's right. The U.S. Penal Code takes precedence over that outdated paper.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:11 | 4299745 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

In the future we shall all be prison guards or prisoners, and a loaf of bread will cost a bail of money.

Why do I think I've seen this movie before?

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:54 | 4299777 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Here's WHY They Need SO MUCH PAPER PRINTING Power ...


Uncle Sam’s New Year’s Binge: Borrows $1,088 Per Household in 1 Day January 3, 2014 - 4:48 PM By Terence P. Jeffrey


Subscribe to Terence P. Jeffrey RSS ( - Uncle Sam—AKA the federal government—went on a New Year’s Eve binge, adding a net of $125,202,709,546.99 to its total debt in just the one day of Dec. 31, 2013, according to the U.S. Treasury. That equals approximately $1,088.60 for each of the 115,013,000 households the Census Bureau currently estimates there are in the United States.

Overall, in the first quarter of fiscal 2014, which ended on Dec. 31, the total debt of the federal government jumped $613,787,258,252.83 That equals $5,336 for each household in the country.

At the close of business on Dec. 30, 2013, the total debt of the federal government was 17,226,768,075,403.16. By the close of business on the next day—New Year’s Eve—the debt had risen to 17,351,970,784,950.15—a one-day jump of $125,202,709,546.99. - See more at:

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:27 | 4299872 Thing1Thing2
Thing1Thing2's picture

They enable us to "send their children to school, and to live greater lives", aka "you didn't build that with your hard earned money"

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:41 | 4299904 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

How about all us ZHers get ourselves positions on the Fed police? Once we're all in place, it will be easier to take the Fed down with a coordinated inside job.

Oh damn, you need a GED. I guess all of us with higher degrees would be considered way too smart to do their bidding.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:23 | 4299965 WarriorClass
Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:49 | 4300022 Four chan
Four chan's picture

Never have so many, guarded so little.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:00 | 4300048 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

In the next 4 weeks, go balls to the wall.


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 18:04 | 4300270 economics9698
economics9698's picture

The Fed can hire all the police they want, when the fiat dies so will they. The mf’s will be hunted down for decades and killed all over the planet. These criminals will not get away with their crimes.  

Sun, 01/05/2014 - 08:42 | 4301388 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Join the get to be a's kinda fun!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:29 | 4299977 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

+1.  Thought the same thing after first reading this.  In fact, since they are hiring so many, it makes sense that the odds of an inside job are rising anyway, regardless of education.  The banksters  have ripped off way too many for all of these hirees to be committed to the "job".


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:40 | 4299997 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

My 1st thought as well. Problem is they'd pull our NSA file for our background check and discover that we're ZH members and visit sites like Drudge and Infowars, and we'd be disqualified.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 18:15 | 4300309 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

You can bet your bottom (sorely devalued) dollar that they would. They probably have already.   I'm serious.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:53 | 4300032 Cap Matifou
Cap Matifou's picture

FED's job ad from 1980, hiring tech brains while spilling the shocking truth.

Career Perspectives in American Banking
"We work so closely with the Government to insure stability in the American banking system, that some people think we're a branch of the Government. Actually, we're not."

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:46 | 4300184 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

I worked for the NY Fed back then in operations.  What a clusterfuck.  They'd hire really good people - who'd quit in frustration after 6 months.  The truly incompetent stayed - and rose in the ranks.  One systems person whould run out of meetings crying when questioned too 'harshly' about anything - but Daddy played golf with Board members.   The tellers - those that handled currency - made around $20,000 a year back then - and all drove new Caddys or BMW's.... they eventually relocated Currency Operations to NJ - on the site of a toxic waste dump in East Rutherford.  You can't make this stuff up.

The Fed is the WORST of private and public in one institution  (with an astounding amount of alcoholism in the upper ranks - the Pres of the NY  Fed actually fell over, knocking down a podium when addressing one bunch of bankers.  And that ethos filtered down the ranks.  Kind of embarassing to have your manager shitfaced- to the poitnt of taking off his shirt and ... at a friiendly 'morale-building' get to gether after work).

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 22:49 | 4300921 Musashi Miyamoto
Musashi Miyamoto's picture

"They'd hire really good people - who'd quit in frustration after 6 months. The truly incompetent stayed - and rose in the ranks."

sound like every single company i've worked for

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:28 | 4299885 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Luke Radowski, Mark Dice, and Adam Kokesh examine first hand the Fed Police:

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:43 | 4299903 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

well trained in both search and seizure 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:25 | 4300152 Cap Matifou
Cap Matifou's picture

The Federal Reserve is Private Property

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 20:15 | 4300573 Thing1Thing2
Thing1Thing2's picture

nice link

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 20:16 | 4300574 Thing1Thing2
Thing1Thing2's picture

double post

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:06 | 4299926 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

Next thing you know, they'll be wanting "First Night" priviliges.  Think Braveheart and what really got Mel Gibson pissed off in the beginning of that movie.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:37 | 4299996 WarPony
WarPony's picture

Prima "not cha"

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:16 | 4299748 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

I.E. ... Paper GOLD Police ...

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:38 | 4300171 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Well, it's not like there's much PHYSICAL GOLD left to guard....  Besides - the paper stuff is SO much easier to steal - doesn't weigh nearly as much.  No need for all those dump trucks you saw in the 'Die Hard' number whatever.    


Think about it though.  If we continue in the path to Weimar, you're going to need MASSIVE amounts of currency simply to keep up when inflation really lets loose (and I have no doubt that it will).  The logistics of printing and distributing ever more money - and you will still need the paper stuff, we're not all electronic yet- are huge.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:22 | 4299762 VD
VD's picture

yeah apologies i sometimes confuse legality with constitution since latter is used to wipe the asses of legit laws in order to subvert the bad......MOAR (unconstitutional) PIGZ --- PIG PLANET FUCK THE PIGZ...

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:32 | 4299784 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

No worries man, we gotta keep that word 'illegal' in check, or we lose track of what is righteous (constitutional) and what is not.

Every time you say 'illegal,' the laywers win!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:54 | 4299817 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The Constitution is supposedly the supreme law of the USA , so other laws breaking its

law are illegal.

Strange nobody has taken on the legality of the FredRes unlike the income which has been adjudicated

by SCOTUS as illegal ,but ignored by Uncle Scam.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:58 | 4300035 VD
VD's picture

IRS works for Fed and lotta people tried to fight in courts theft of private property (ie income taxes) ; unfortunatly most have failed (eg Peter Schiff's popz in clink) technically u r correct and the above ULTIMATELY = ILLEGAL...

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:35 | 4299990 logicalman
logicalman's picture

There's legal and there's lawful, they are not the same.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:59 | 4300047 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

an extremely important distinction, well said.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 22:05 | 4300819 nmewn
nmewn's picture


I am heartened that many more are discovering the true distinction of legal vs justice (justness) which is the very cornerstone of proper law. Hitler had laws, Mao had laws Pol Pot had laws...all very much "legal" in every sense of the word but those legalities were never just or had anything to do with justice.

Law can be thought of as a simple trap for the public and the unwary, of what it is and what it is not. Without force, it is nothing (it has no validity without enforcement) and yet force, is the only thing that truly confronts its very existence when law is abused.

Sun, 01/05/2014 - 12:21 | 4301705 Johnny Cocknballs
Johnny Cocknballs's picture

Sure they are.

If people with guns are ultimately enforcing X, it matters little that
you or I think .

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:55 | 4300109 sleigher
sleigher's picture

Legal != Lawful

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:15 | 4299746 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Just think if hundreds of lovers of liberty applied for and got these jobs. Working for the Fed, armed by the Fed, and when they want their 'force' to do their illegal work for them, arrest the bankers instead.

Think outside the box. This could have real possibilities.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:36 | 4299797 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:01 | 4299828 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

I like to think of it more as a vision. ;-)

In dark days, having a vision of righteousness and truth prevailing is necessary to keep on going.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Book of Proverbs 29:18)

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:13 | 4299944 optimator
optimator's picture

I'm sure the first thing they will look at if you apply is your NSA internet activity starting with "have you ever visited

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:30 | 4299986 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

True, I imagine situational awareness is not viewed as an asset for these positions.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 18:18 | 4300319 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

NSA have already identified all the 'lovers of liberty'.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:17 | 4299747 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

No it isn't.   Pinkerton has been protecting bank stage coach and train transports since the Old West!

Don't you remember "Butch Casidy and the Sundance Kid" were chased by the Pinkertons??

But you live in la la land anyway.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:30 | 4299782 Binko
Binko's picture

Don't be a dope. Pinkerton was a private company. Old time banks hiring Pinkertons is like current banks hiring rent-a-cops.

This is a cartel of private banks employing a government empowered police force

A world of difference. And certainly not legal except by the new definition of legal which basically means anything desired by the rich and powerful.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:40 | 4299802 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

So what if the Federal Reserve is hiring more police!?   They already have them!

WTF is with all the alarmist douche balls here who get worked up over crap like this?

This is nothing compared to Homeland Security.

What a bunch of weenies!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:02 | 4299820 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It won't be long before EVERY agency has it's own police force (does the EPA have a police force yet??).

When you have tens of thousands of new laws and regulations to enforce every passing year (and I'm not exaggerating) you just can't trust the general police force to be able to identify everything that is now a crime.  

As I was shoveling off my driveway yesterday I started to wonder how long before the EPA shows up and declares my yard a "wetlands" area and fines me for moving the snow around.  Of course they'll be back when it melts in the spring and dries up- they'll fine me again for destroying that same wetlands area.  If the EPA had a police force I'm sure that would be accompanied by being cuffed-and-stuffed, needing to post bail and hiring a lawyer to defend myself in front of a "special" EPA court.

It's authority creep and it matters not just because of how many police are hired, but by how SPECIALIZED those police forces are.  "Special" police always ends up needing "special" courts. 


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:08 | 4299836 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

You're right, of course. I like that expression, authority creep. Fascists love "law enforcement". If the Congress has a congressional laundromat, they probably have laundromat police. As for the EPA; that's another Federal Monster that will have to be killed before any real economic healing can be done.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:24 | 4299875 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

I agree it could be viewed as a Fascist buildup of police forces along with the increasing militarization of local police forces getting used military armored vehicles.

But what can we expect to happen now that all can kicking efforts by the Federal Reserve have failed to keep the economy from going over the cliff soon??

Riots, robberies, looting, car jackings,

How many of you who are upset about this kind of news will be demanding police protection when the SHTF !?

So wake up you mooks and face the grim reality that lies ahead cause there's no stopping it now.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:47 | 4299914 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"Admission of Party Opponent"

An evidentiary and legal principle.

Their paranoia should tell you something. They know things. They don't show things. They blow things.

It's good to pay attention.    

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:24 | 4299970 wtf1369
wtf1369's picture

If you rely on police protection you deserve every bit of what will come of/with it. Legal precedence has already been set that cops have no duty to protect the individual. So no, I shall make no such demand.

"The court stated that official police personnel and the government employing them owe no duty to victims of criminal acts and thus are not liable for a failure to provide adequate police protection unless a special relationship exists"

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:58 | 4300045 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

The only police I even halfway trust are the locals, because I know them and they know me.  "Special" police forces protect only their agency.  Federal Reserve Police aren't answering 911 calls and helping ANYONE.  You won't see them out there stopping muggers from stealing Federal Reserve Notes from their victims.  And they sure aren't going to be there for the general public if the SHTF.  

They are just "enforcers" for their particular agency and do only that agency's bidding.  That those "special" police don't know anyone they are protecting any more than the "criminals" they are chasing adds another layer of potential abuse.  Everyone looks like the enemy to them.  I mean really, who's going to stop them?  The local cops?  No, no, no.  They are beholden only to their AGENCY.  The same people they work for are the same they are supervised and given impunity by.

It's an important difference.  


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:21 | 4299868 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

I believe there are dozens of police forces here in DC.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:29 | 4299887 Being Free
Being Free's picture

... does the EPA have a police force yet??

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:01 | 4300054 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I was afraid that might be the answer.  Thanks.  You just ruined my day.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:00 | 4299925 fiftyfive
Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:28 | 4299967 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

if you ever find yourself in that situation, keep this case handy for future reference:

a couple already fought the EPA all the way to the Supremes and won in a 9-0 decision.

all hope is not lost.   the key is not to even invite the EPA the opportunity to judge for themselves what is and is not a wetland.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 21:38 | 4300751 Escapedgoat
Escapedgoat's picture

That video is NOT THERE  anymore. hahahahaha


Sun, 01/05/2014 - 07:22 | 4301350 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

for those WHO CAN READ, lack of video will not be an issue.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:34 | 4299995 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Maybe this explains government ammunition purchases.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:29 | 4300084 Binko
Binko's picture

That's why it's such a sad joke when the media rates congress based on how many bills they pass. I'm sure we've all seen headlines like "Current Congress only passed 92 bills this year. Worst performance in two decades." Wow, ONLY 92 bills! At 1000 pages or so per bill (for maximal obfuscation) that's 92,000 pages of legislation.

Best congress ever would pass ZERO new legislation and spend their time repealing and simplifying existing misguided laws.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 17:03 | 4300206 the black arrow
the black arrow's picture

Did some fire arms training a while back and had a FDA police officer in class, that guy was the best shooter out of all of us.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 19:01 | 4300392 Rafferty
Rafferty's picture

Sometimes it's the other way around.  Create the courts first (Human 'Rights' for example) and then gradually get your own enforcement arm.  Happening everywhere, slowly but surely.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:19 | 4300073 CH1
CH1's picture

This is nothing compared to Homeland Security.

Therefore we should meekly accept it?

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:44 | 4299913 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

it's sort of like well, our wars

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:10 | 4300063 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

If you are dumb enough to sign up for the job protecting a private bank that helped destroy the country, you deserve what is coming your way.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:42 | 4300175 PoliticalRefuge...
PoliticalRefugeefromCalif.'s picture

Maybe one half of one percent of voters actually know that the Fed is a private entity; fewer than that actually have any idea what they do, so yeah after five years of suck Homer Simpson is going to jump at that job offer.


Explanations rarely have anything in common with excuses.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:57 | 4299822 nightshiftsucks
nightshiftsucks's picture

Wow,what dickheads down voted you? Those same dickheads better hope the system doesn't crash or I will be down voting them with my Benelli.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:15 | 4299743 kill switch
kill switch's picture

a PRIVATE bank with its own police force;  how quaint


And you got the tab!!!  hahahahaha

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:33 | 4299788 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

It's like a perfect fuck you to all of us.

Sun, 01/05/2014 - 16:11 | 4300749 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

Another quaint question, regarding a runaway social pyramid system which has NO "kill switch" ...

Who do the 1,000 man, and growing, police force of the Federal Reserve Board actually work for, when the Fed is not a governmental entity, but rather a private corporation, owned by shareholders whose identities are difficult to discover ???

That is just another tiny tip of the ENORMOUS ICEBERG of the degree to which America's combined money/murder systems have PRIVATIZED the death controls that back up the debt controls. How utterly bizarre does it get to have private corporations, whose shareholders can not readily be verified, and whose operations have never been independently audited to any satisfactory degree, are directing their own growing army of police protection? In that context, I repeat that the most important, and most mad, thing that the government of the USA has done is allow its runaway systems of legalized lies, backed by legalized violence, to become increasingly PRIVATIZED!

The USA social pyramid systems have become psychotically insane ... In my opinion, many people want to continue to indulge in their political fantasies that their realities are not now circumscribed by people who are criminally insane, making the decisions that overall influence what is going to happen ... Having a private corporation with a growing private police force, whose owners can not be readily identified, which has the power of legalized lies, and legalized violence, to back them up, is actually runaway criminal insanity, which is the result of the best organized gang of criminals being able to take over covert control of the political processes.

Most people want to continue to believe that there is still some ulterior rationality and deeper level of self-interested sanity behind these developments. However, my view is that this whole process of successfully corrupting the powers of governments, in order to effectively privatize them, has become INSANE and utterly irrational.

Still most of the few people who wake up more to some of the levels of the runaway social insanities want to still believe that there must be some deeper levels at which covert sanity is directing the overt insanities, for their own evil, but nevertheless still rational, self-interest. However, I think that more fully waking up to how bad things truly are requires facing the facts that thousands of years of the history of warfare, and all of the science and artfulness which was behind that history, has leaped off its rails, to become criminally insane.

The Federal Reserve Board does not know what it doing, and the Fed's police force does not know what it is doing. They are runaway social insanities, where the power to rob, and the power to kill to back up that robbery, have become PRIVATIZED in ways which are social insanities, which are necessarily headed through some series of psychotic breakdowns.

The best metaphor for our actual reality is that we are stuck inside of an insane asylum, which has been taken over by the most criminally insane inmates. Thousands of years of history of warfare, topped off by hundreds of years of history of the current financial system, have NOT created something which still has some hidden levels of rationality, albeit evil purposes. What exists now is actually an out-of-control social insanity, where the solutions to its problems, like the Fed hiring more people to serve in its PRIVATIZED police force, actually expresses runaway social insanity, NOT some hidden level of evil rationality.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:53 | 4300026 sirk1t
sirk1t's picture

Their own little army...wonder how long they'll man their posts when the shit hits the fan...

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:02 | 4300046 buckethead
buckethead's picture


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:36 | 4300096 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Protecting shareholder value .... with guns.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 21:11 | 4300708 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

"I was just following orders, I was just following orders, I was just following orders". 

Now you are a good FED NAZI. 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:36 | 4300168 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

You ain't shit in government if you don't got your own police.


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:04 | 4299711 Gankfest
Gankfest's picture

Maybe they can make illegal stops and seizures to confiscate goods and bring in more revenue for QE!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:19 | 4299858 Pig Circus
Pig Circus's picture

More Cops?...Won't be enough.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:36 | 4299993 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

"Dignitaries of a Reserve Bank or the Board of Governors"

-Rothchild's Bitch- doesn't have the same ring to it.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 11:58 | 4299698 Schlomo Bergstein
Schlomo Bergstein's picture

Pick up that debt, citizen.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 11:59 | 4299707 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

Debt? C'mon. Two billion rounds of hollow point ammo doesn't cost that much.


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 20:41 | 4300635 DosZap
DosZap's picture

They need to, because all the top dogs are marked men, and when the SHTF, they will be first to go.

Is my opinion.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 11:59 | 4299699 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Protection for the crooks and a ton of property to confiscate.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 11:59 | 4299702 translator zero
translator zero's picture

Private international bankers find a new way to freeload: US federal police.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:00 | 4299709 W74
W74's picture

"At the Federal Reserve Bank, we operate a part of the nation's bank, helping to shape policies that enable people to purchase homes, send their children to school, and to live greater lives."

Whatever did we do before the last days of 1913?  Clearly none of those things since it is the Private Reserve Bank which enables those activities.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:53 | 4299819 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

''helping to shape policies that enable people''...........TO BECOME DEBT-SLAVES


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:38 | 4299998 logicalman
logicalman's picture

To FORCE them to become debt slaves.


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:08 | 4299838 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

This kind of smarmy brainwashing spin makes me furious; how stupid would you have to be to believe this crap?

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:03 | 4299710 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

So... Does the PRIVATE FEDERAL RESERVE BANK pay their salaries or do the tax serfs?

What other private companies have established police forces that mandate off duty CC?

P.S. This is a good in for any project mayhem volunteers. (!)


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:02 | 4299715 i-dog
i-dog's picture


"work during emergency or crisis situations"

Like armed escorts to pick up more toner cartridges?

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:01 | 4299928 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

....coke runs....

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:23 | 4299966 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

last time I checked, we're still in an "emergency" and a "war on terror" and  a number of other things that conveniently modify the rules

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:51 | 4300187 PoliticalRefuge...
PoliticalRefugeefromCalif.'s picture

The gvt. didn't just put out a purchase order for Potassium Iodine tabs to be filled by February just to help the pharmaceutical market.

..all rules will change with the next false flag op. designed to get us involved in the mideast.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:02 | 4299718 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Education: High School Diploma or GED

Experience: Less than two years

Sooo, your typical Obama voter then...EXCELLENT!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:11 | 4299732 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture


  • Education: High School Diploma or GED
  • Experience: Less than two years


= low pay


Do they get to fondle the FRN electron$? is my question...

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:11 | 4299744 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yes!...all digitized for better tracking!

And they get to drive a government vehicle home every night and get a frrreeeeee! ObamaFone from Verizon!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:08 | 4299736 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

100 extra affirmative action points for:

  illiteracy and/or frontal lobotomy.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:09 | 4299843 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

made me gag on my t ea. LOL.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:27 | 4299874 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:41 | 4300094 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

Just one well-placed cop with a brain, real balls and a conscience could be extremely dangerous.  The puppetmasters know that after a few years of hyperinflation, a few Fed cops might wake up unless they have a lobotomy or a paycheck that isn't toilet paper.  That's why they're setting the bar so low, even though you need a college degree to be a friggin' cashier these days. 

To any cops reading this:  Don't take the government's vaccines.  Don't let them dose you with anything at work, especially if you sense a crackdown is imminent.  Don't even take the coffee that morning.  They will try to vaccinate you against knowing or caring about this horrible truth:  You protect and serve the biggest crimminals (the ones who buy the laws). 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:22 | 4299763 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Better than expected, figured you would have to have some time spent in prison or on welfare.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:36 | 4299899 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture Court OKs Barring Smart People From Becoming Cops

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 21:44 | 4300769 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

There were only two people from my old high school that wanted to become police, and applied for the job. The nicer, but relatively unintelligent, guy was turned away, because he was "too philosophical." However, another asshole, who was not too bright, was accepted to become a police officer. Within five years he made front page news by killing an unarmed young man, who was trying to run away, by shooting him in the back.

Therefore, according to my personal experiences, only the relatively stupid assholes are picked to become police officers. It is not just that one has to not be intelligent in order to be allowed to become a police officer, one also has to be able and willing to be an utter asshole to get picked for that job.

A long time ago, in the days of my youth, there used to still be a significant number of good police officers. However, those are extremely rare today! A monstrous "brown shirt" brigade is being deliberately assembled, who will obey orders, no matter how insane and evil those orders would appear to most other people. Of course, that fits the overall pattern that our entire society has been more and more taken over by the most criminally insane people. ... As my previous reply above already just said, I believe that things are way, way, way worse than almost anybody is willing or able to face!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:05 | 4299719 NIHILIST CIPHER

 The Fed Is Hiring: Lots Of Cops                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         LETS HOPE THOSE COPS DO THE "RIGHT THING" AND SHOOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:05 | 4299724 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Unfortunatley, the "right people" are well outside the borders of the United States.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:09 | 4299725 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Nice requirements.  Apparently they want them dumb and new.  Probably so they can be programmed and don't know the true nature of the Fed.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:15 | 4299755 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Would love to see some of the screening process.  I would imagine something like how many FRNs would you require to arrest/shoot your mother.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:34 | 4299783 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Just see the DHS/TSA screening process.  Well THERE you go!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:50 | 4299813 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Probably need to add pedofile for the TSA.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:01 | 4299923 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

dumb and new

what a coincidence. that's the same qualities they sought in their health care program 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:08 | 4299938 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

They're usually the one who pay the price.  Same will be with the Feral Reserve "police".  I'm sure they'll be well militarized.  Thugs usually are who aren't the actual military.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:17 | 4299951 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Hi, I'm Larry and I'm Barry

and were the actuary's mercenaries

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:37 | 4300093 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

sooner or later the gov is going to run out of mormons.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:07 | 4299729 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

That's a lot of pigs to guard printing presses!  I suppose running a ponzi scheme makes one paranoid (and so they should be).

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:34 | 4299794 Binko
Binko's picture

They are preparing for the next financial meltdown. The one where the government bail-out trough is empty and they have to resort to deposit confiscation to keep the game running. Deposit confiscation will rouse even the great dumb herd of American consumers. Hence the need to start training a really big police force to protect the banking temples.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:52 | 4299815 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Bingo Binko!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:58 | 4299920 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I vote for this theory

Isn't it amazing. Our passivity, not their evil. Like boiling frogs slowly

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:43 | 4300014 NickVegas
NickVegas's picture

Banking temples so we can all worship money.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:12 | 4299927 layman_please
layman_please's picture

They don't even have printers. Actually there's nothing of value. They are just there to protect the douche bags. Like king's guard.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:10 | 4299731 Dr. Venkman
Dr. Venkman's picture

The Fed also retained a company to construct either a portable firing range (sort of like a large shipping container) or an actual firing range inside one of the reserve buildings. I forget which. They are trying to be prepared when SHTF.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:11 | 4299733 tnquake
tnquake's picture

HS or GED to protect the CTL P key. Requires PHD to push key


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:49 | 4299812 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

you also have to be part of a certain...  group... of people.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:18 | 4299856 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

They don't want them smart, the dumber the better.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:17 | 4299956 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I wondered what that recruiting van was doing in the Walmart parking lot 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:25 | 4299973 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

sorry, Starbucks parking lot

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:16 | 4299734 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

At last check, there were over 1000 sworn members of the Fed police force

WTF?  The guilty are afraid.

Free money has its privileges.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:11 | 4299737 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

It's almost as if they expect trouble . . .

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:44 | 4299810 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


It's almost as if they expect trouble . . .

Their models and forecasts anticipate MOAR GROATH in that area.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:12 | 4299738 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

and golf pros for that fucking rodent Barry

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:12 | 4299739 savedeposit
savedeposit's picture

And they are free to hire because they can print there salary

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:20 | 4299959 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and notice just as they're printing their new salary

the president is printing the new rules

once again, it tells you who's the boss 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:30 | 4299979 Raynja
Raynja's picture

It's probably the most they have helped the economy.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:17 | 4299751 20834A
20834A's picture

More troops to trace and confiscate gold.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:17 | 4299758 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

It's about respect and recognition from your peers. It's you. At the Federal Reserve Bank, we operate a part of the nation's bank, helping to shape policies that enable people to purchase homes AND GO INTO DEBT, send their children to school AND GO INTO DEBT and to live greater lives AND GO INTO DEBT. 

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 15:40 | 4300101 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

I'll drink to that. Bartender, "another round for myself and all my friends and put it on my tab."

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:17 | 4299759 jon dough
jon dough's picture

Cue WB7 and his rendition of the FED Mobile.


My first thoughts are of a heavily armed ice cream truck with the sound track tied to the vehicle's speed like I recall from my childhood.


Ah, memories.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 14:45 | 4300015 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

Cue the pedophilia jingle:


As for enforcement authorization, sure, they're entitled to just as much authority as the Federal Express delivery driver.  Hmmm, maybe they can hire the one that tosses the packages over fences.  Give him a badge and a gun!

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:31 | 4299764 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

My understanding is that unless you've gone through some recognized version of a police academy and are a certified peace officer, you're just a security guard.

Clearly, the PTB feel they have something to be concerned about.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:40 | 4299800 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

When assembling a goon squad, the last thing one wants is peace officers.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 13:29 | 4299879 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Mall cops don't carry automatic weapons.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 16:33 | 4300164 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture


Sat, 01/04/2014 - 20:50 | 4300652 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

It's a tease for the wanna-bes. They can't read, much less the fine print.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:21 | 4299765 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The top Fed banksters are worried about themselves. Nothing unemployed and Fed looted  armed marksman can't take care of. 

The group of elite surround themselves in gated communities with armed guards.

My, it's starting to sound like a third world country. We all know what eventually happens. The crowd eventually wants vengeance and overwhelms them in numbers.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:25 | 4299767 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Of course they're hiring, have to replace the fifty Bernanke body doubles with Yellen body doubles.

Though really, outside of a razor and hair dye, what's the diff?

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:26 | 4299768 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Soon the Fed will have its own Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Wait a minute ...Fed is a WMD for the American Middle Class.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:28 | 4299773 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

"If it bleeds, you can kill it." Forgot who once said that. ;)

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:28 | 4299778 Heroic Couplet
Heroic Couplet's picture

How does the Fed hiring moar cops compare to JPMorgan Chase and Goldman Sachs hiring cops? Nice thing about JPM and GS, they're concentrated in one area.

Sat, 01/04/2014 - 12:35 | 4299787 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture


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