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Forbes Reveals Its "Top 30 Under 30" In Finance

Tyler Durden's picture


Roughly around the time when the death knell for SAC Capital as a hedge fund (now since defunct, existing purely as a family office following the biggest insider trading crackdown against a US-based hedge fund in history) was beating loudest, SkyBridge Capital's Anthony Scaramucci seemed unable to fathom the gross criminality at a fund in which he had invested. As the NYT then reported, "A group of Mr. Cohen’s investors continue to stand by him and hope that he stays in business. For Anthony Scaramucci, chief executive of the hedge fund firm SkyBridge Capital and a friend of Mr. Cohen’s, sticking with SAC has as much to do with friendship and loyalty as it does its superior performance. "A lot of guys, when bombs are going off, you figure out very quickly who your friends are in the trenches," Mr. Scaramucci said. "Most friends run from bullets, but your best friends run toward them. I have enormous amount of respect for the guy, and I think he’s misunderstood." Or in other words: simple idolatry.

As it turned out, Cohen was quite well understood by pretty much everyone else, however what was certainly misunderstood was SkyBridge's vetting process for asset allocation in criminal entities. Which perhaps explains the relative silence by the SkyBridge Capital's chief since the SAC crack down. However, as it turns out Scaramucci was not merely sitting on his rapidly depleting AUM (recall: Fund Of Funds Implosion Forces Conversion Of Ever More Hedge Funds Into "Long-Onlies") - he was busy determining the next generation of financial gurus.

As revealed in today's Forbes, which has just presented its "30 Under 30" in, among other categories, finance, it was none other than Anthony Scaramucci (alongside Accel Partners Jim Breyer which perhaps explains why one of the "chosen youts" is an Accel Partners principal... and GloCap's Adam Zoia), who headed the "Expert Panel" to select the new generation of financial wizards. The list is, as it always is, amusing.

Let's dig into just who "the Mooch" considers Steve Cohen-replacement worthy. Ladies first:


Tracy Britt Cool, 29, Financial assistant to the chairman, Berkshire Hathaway

Emerging as an influential figure in Warren Buffett's organization. Chairman at Benjamin Moore, Johns Manville, Larson-Juhl and Oriental Trading. Also on the board of H.J. Heinz.

* * *

Lucy Baldwin, 29, Managing director, Goldman Sachs

Director of Goldman's European research management team and serving on the investment review committee. Previously headed Goldman's European retail and consumer equity research.

* * *

Katie Keenan, 29, Associate, Blackstone Group

A rising star in the world's largest real estate investment management business. Helped launch Blackstone's first mortgage lending program, which has closed $2 billion of originations in five months. Led underwriting of $1.2 billion of real estate debt investments for various Blackstone vehicles.

* * *

Carryn McLaughlin, 29, Vice president, JPMorgan Chase

Earned CFP at 23 before moving to JPM Private Bank to manage a $2.7 billion book of biz as wealth manager for real estate moguls and their families.

* * *

And now the guys:

Luis Alvarado, 29, Investment research analyst, Wells Fargo Private Bank

Youngest member of Wells Fargo Private Bank investment team, which decides the allocation for $170 billion in managed assets. Solely responsible for building capital market assumptions, forming the foundation of recommendations for virtually every client account.

* * *

George Bachiashvili, 28, Founder, Georgian Co-Investment Fund

Runs a $6 billion private equity fund in Georgia that amounts to about 40% of the country's GDP. Backed by Georgia's own billionaire prime minister, who invested the initial $1 billion, creating some controversy around its investments in the Georgian economy. UAE's Abu Dhabi Group and China's Milestone International are among other big investors.

* * *

Sam Barnett, 24, Founder, SBB Research Group

Part scientist, part mathematician, Barnett started his quant hedge fund while still a CalTech undergrad and has since grown it into a $115 million firm with 15 employees. Returns have been solid.

* * *

Ganesh Betanabhatla, 28, Managing director, Talara Capital

Former JPMorgan oil & gas investment banker and vice president at Pine Brook Partners, now backed with up to $500 million heading Talara's private equity efforts in the energy sector.

* * *

Rushabh Doshi, 29, Trader, DW Investment Management

Former Morgan Stanley and Brevan Howard trader, specializing in high-yield and distressed debt at Brevan's external credit asset manager. Born in Mumbai; spent his teens in Topeka, KS.

* * *

Leigh Drogen, 27, Founder, Estimize

Founded company becoming popular on Wall Street by essentially crowdsourcing estimates for key data points on financial earnings releases. In an attempt to achieve greater precision, Estimize gathers information from independent, buy-side and sell-side analysts, together with those of private investors.

* * *

Fred Ehrsam, 25, Cofounder, Coinbase

As Bitcoin gradually becomes a mainstream phenomenon, Coinbase is trying to make it easy to use. The former Goldman Sachs currency trader is attemting to build "the PayPal for Bitcoin"; Coinbase is trying to make cryptocurrency accessible to the everyday consumer and merchant. Has raised $30 million from high profile VCs like Andreessen Horowitz, making it the top-funded Bitcoin start-up.

* * *

Eric Eisner, 29, VP, Bank of America Merrill Lynch Global Banking and Markets

Manages all Latin America low-beta sovereign debt trading for BofA Merrill. Low-beta trading was viewed as unprofitable and boring before he took over. He’s since turned it into a revenue generator for BofA trading over $30 billion in bonds and transforming the unit into a top-three top-franchise among big bank competitors.

* * *

Stephen Ensley, 29, Principal, Hellman & Friedman

Former JPMorgan mergers & acquisitions investment banker, now a principal for one of the most well-respected private equity firms. Has helped lead portfolio investments in companies like Pharmaceutical Product Development. Sits on the board of CarProof, a Canadian vehicle history report provider.

* * *

Brian Feinstein, 28, Partner, Bessemer Venture Partners

Started as an analyst and moved up to become the youngest partner in BVP’s 100+ year history. Now runs its Brazil and Russia investment team while also focusing on Internet and software opportunities in U.S. and Europe. Led a $10 million investment in a Brazilian mobile gaming company that’s since doubled its revenue.

* * *

Eugene Gokhvat, 28, Portfolio manager, BlueCrest Capital Management

Worked for Boaz Weinstein on Deutsche Bank's prop desk. Now, manages his own large corporate bond portfolio at the U.S. outpost of a $35 billion European hedge fund.

* * *

Cameron Horwitz, 29, Research director, U.S. Capital Advisors

Heads oil & gas exploration and development research at boutique Texas financial firm. Big calls on companies like Pioneer Natural Resources helped get him singled out as a"rising star" on Institutional Investor's influential research rankings.

* * *

Kevin Kaiser, 26, Managing director, Hedgeye Risk Management

Has recently managed to spark the ire of two billionaires with high-profile, negative calls on two major stocks. Following his recomendation to short Kinder Morgan, CEO Richard Kinder held a conference call to dispute his allegations. His comments on Linn Energy helped provoke hedge fund manager Leon Cooperman, a major shareholder of the MLP.

* * *

Eric Khrom, 28, Founder, Khrom Capital Management

Value investor backed by a major universtiy endowment. College dropout has posted some good returns while keeping a big chunk of his portfolio in cash. He manages some $40 million at the hedge fund he founded in 2008.

* * *

Maximilian Kuss, 27, Founder, European Media Holding AG

Used the proceeds of a gaming company and software publisher he helped found to start European Media Holding, an investing vehicle that now manages 250 million euros and looks to merge digital technologies with "old economy" companies. In September, online tire retailer Tirendo, in which EMH was a founding shareholder, sold for 50 million euros to publicly traded Delticom, in which EMH later took a substantial equity stake.

* * *

John Locke, 29, Principal, Accel Partners

Venture capital investor focusing recently on growth-stage investments in areas like cyber security. Previously led investments in payment companies like Braintree, which is being purchased by eBay for $800 million. Played golf at Princeton.

* * *

Chaitanya Mehra, 28, Portfolio manager, Och-Ziff Capital Management

Former Goldman Sachs trader, now a portfolio manager focusing on energy at Dan Och's $39 billion firm, one of the largest hedge funds in the world.

* * *

Neil Mehta, 29, Founder, Greenoaks Capital

Former investor at D.E. Shaw, helping to open the hedge fund's Hong Kong office. Founded Greenoaks and now manages some $600 million, investing in industries ranging from ecommerce to insurance. Hit home runs with early investments in Palantir and Coupang.

* * *

Vivek Ramaswamy, 28, Investment analyst, QVT Financial

Co-managing one of the hedge fund industry's largest biotech-focused portfolios for Daniel Gold's hedge fund. Well known for successful investments in companies developing antiviral drugs, including for the treatment of hepatitis C. Got a Yale law degree while working at the hedge fund.

* * *

Adam Rodman, 29, Founder, Segra Capital Management

Former portfolio manager at Mark Hart's Corriente Advisors, now backed by his old boss and other Texas money men like Harlan Korenvaes in new macro hedge fund.

* * *

Sam Shikiar, 28, Vice president, Goldman Sachs

Heads U.S. electronic commodities trading team that focuses on metals and energy options. Previously worked in the asset management division for a quant hedge fund team on the Global Alpha and Equity Opportunities Funds.

* * *

Andrew Silverman, 28, Vice president, Goldman Sachs

Star credit derivatives and bond trader has become one of the top distressed debt market makers in the world. Recent promotion to managing director goes into effect in 2014.

* * *

Jeffrey Sun, 29, Executive director, Morgan Stanley

Primary trader at Morgan Stanley in oil products options, managing the investment bank's exposure to things like jet fuel and diesel. Also trades crude oil options.

* * *

Chris Yetter, 29, Head of Latin American Investments, Falcon Edge Capital

Spearheading some very profitable investments in Latin America for $2 billion hedge fund. Former trader at QVT. Taught in Spain.

* * *

All of the above are fine and great, with the exception of some truly bizarre head-scratchers, but the real question is where are the "5 under 5" - after all, in Bernanke's centrally planned new normal, in which there no risk only return, the ripe retirement age for E-Trade baby whizkid traders is now the mid-to-late teens.


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Mon, 01/06/2014 - 12:57 | 4304598 PR Guy
PR Guy's picture



This guy used to be one of them but look at him now!

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:13 | 4304621 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

More like the Top 30 Pavlov's Dogs Under 30 who press the buy button every time they hear POMO bell ringing.

Everybody's a genius in the Fed manipulated market.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:00 | 4304826 resurger
resurger's picture


when the Shit hits Bens chopper and the hedge funds culling begins, i want to see whether those fucktards will be on the list!

and of course....







Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:03 | 4304840 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

STEP RIGHT UP, SELL Your Souls To The DEVIL, Don't Delay-

Offering High CASH Payout TODAY...

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:12 | 4304889 aerojet
aerojet's picture

It worked for Mick Jagger.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:49 | 4305030 financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

stop bitching people appreciate the effort it tskes to beat the street 

hate the game not the players

and yea the bitches are hot

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:56 | 4305057 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Conditional hotness applies here.  "Compared to your average trading floor quant or spray-tanned jock pretending he does actual work, they are not bad looking."

And there is something extremely sad about most of the people on this list, who could probably be doing something a lot more beneficial for humanity.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 19:51 | 4305982 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

... because once you turn 30 you begin to understand how the world really works, and it becomes much harder to make a pawn out of a bright eyed, intelligent, and decreasingly ignorant human being.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:55 | 4305045 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

"Solely responsible for building capital market assumptions, forming the foundation of recommendations for virtually every client account."

Gee, that will end well.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:09 | 4304627 dryam
dryam's picture

So these are the people who contribute zero to society and sap the earnings from hard working 98%er's?

.....The lowest of the low.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:13 | 4304654 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

At least the chicks are doable....

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:38 | 4304998 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

From the neck up..

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:47 | 4305033 B.J. Worthy
B.J. Worthy's picture

At least one of them is a SIF.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:14 | 4305111 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

As a former internet dater, that guy is 100% on the mark.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:30 | 4305155 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

..and by internet dater, you mean internet ass trolling.  Not that I've never used anything like POF or OkCupid for flings or anything...

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:26 | 4304952 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Nice. A part of the Know Your Enemy series with pics included. Thanks, Tyler(s)!

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 12:58 | 4304602 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Every single one is a paper-pusher.  No engineers or inventors or doctors or producers of anything real.

well, that should be sustainable.



Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:03 | 4304607 PR Guy
PR Guy's picture



Could you imagine going out for a beer with this crowd?


Er, no.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:28 | 4304679 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Before anyone asks, Sam Barnett is a patent troll.

Many scientists/engineers who can't quite make it, but

have access to captial (thanks daddy), pursue this path.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:20 | 4304676 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Well, it is the 30 Under 30 in Finance. 

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:31 | 4305162 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Would love a followup on these 30 worthless oxygen wasters in 7 years. 

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:24 | 4304678 centerline
centerline's picture

+1 LOP.  I have been watching this sad trend grow for decades.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:23 | 4304682 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, look at the "financial sector" as a percentage of GDP now.  - "Winning"


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:26 | 4304691 gafgroocK
gafgroocK's picture



Lets get the gals to the studio for the bikini-thong 2014 Calender shoot.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:33 | 4304704 youngman
youngman's picture

To me the girls dont look under 30...some look more like 36C or D...just sayin

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:36 | 4304727 Joeman34
Joeman34's picture

To be fair, it is 30 under 30 'In Finance'...

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:02 | 4304604 dojufitz
dojufitz's picture

To be that young and obsessed with money is sad.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:32 | 4304697 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

yep, 30 parasites............

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:03 | 4304611 pods
pods's picture

Yay, the new crop of moneychangers. Rejoice.


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:32 | 4304973 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Fuck'em all sideways with a rusty chainsaw.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:02 | 4304615 you can't fix stupid
you can't fix stupid's picture

whose ponzi scheme will crash first?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:05 | 4304616 max2205
max2205's picture

Can we just show who their dad is and the connections they used....pleeeeaz!

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:56 | 4305055 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

No $h*t.  Trust me, looks didn't get them anywhere either.  It's definately connections.  Ask Peter Lanza and James Holmes.  

I think the fit, more attractive "actors" got to play mass murderers.  And politics is showbiz for ugly people.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:08 | 4304624 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Is it a coincidence that the four ladies are casting couch hotties and the guys complete douche-bags?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:06 | 4304629 Rubbish
Rubbish's picture

Any of the top ones can call me Daddy when they ride.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:06 | 4304630 resurger
resurger's picture

I cant see Robo Trader in the list?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:39 | 4304729 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

!!! LOL. yeah, what's up with that? She was always right, wasn't she?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:11 | 4304640 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

I could see working next to the Coinbase guy, the rest not so much. 

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:09 | 4304643 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Imagine what it will be like being the waiter of one of these people on the SHTF day.

You'd better provide impeccable service, and don't expect a big tip.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:11 | 4304649 resurger
resurger's picture

#Kevin Kaiser, 26, Managing director, Hedgeye Risk Management!

Kinder Morgan Energy Partners LP

NYSE: KMP - Jan 6 12:09 PM ET

80.42+0.13 (0.16%)#   Gives a short recommendation, and calls the FED!      
Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:14 | 4304650 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Hot today - gone tomorrow.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:15 | 4304658 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Today's modern finance: BTFD...collect bonus check.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:19 | 4304664 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

beats working for a living

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:20 | 4304669 DebtSlaveZombie
DebtSlaveZombie's picture

I love the idea of 100 hour work weeks and the stress of outperforming a central bank backed market.  Must be awesome to bleed from the eyeballs after looking at a screen all day then get 2 hours of sleep every night.  Congrats.  Here's to being divorced and looking 50 when you hit the big 30.  Drinking problem begins in 3...2...1...

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:34 | 4304709 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Whoa whoa whoa right there Mr. Don't be so hard on us 50 year old people. 50 is the new 30 you know?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:38 | 4305001 Blano
Blano's picture

Yeah I feel pretty good for 50 (ish), & in my brain I'm still 25.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:45 | 4305015 DebtSlaveZombie
DebtSlaveZombie's picture

Haha.  Well, in the NFL and on Wall St 30 is the new 50.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:10 | 4304863 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Yeah, just keep rationalizing your wasted life.  Then again, it pays to have a soul.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:22 | 4304671 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Just looking at those mug shots, I will never put my passive money in stocks again.

Knowing what the education system has done to these kids, I would be curious to see their writing samples to gauge their brain development in terms of motor skills, visual acuity and future job performance.

There is another name for these types in another industry.


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:35 | 4304712 youngman
youngman's picture

I hope they did not take Econ 101....because it just does not work anymore

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:49 | 4305031 DebtSlaveZombie
DebtSlaveZombie's picture

LOL.  Yeah, there should be a FED 101 and a degree called Masters in Central Bank Economics.  Maybe Kahn Academy is on that...

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:23 | 4304677 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Nothing like a bunch of kids making it while 50M Americans remain on food stamps.


We need more articles like this to drive more anxiety into those who are bankrupt.



Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:53 | 4305035 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

It looks like Warren Buffets Financial Advisor stole the foodstamps and ate the recipients.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:29 | 4304685 So Close
So Close's picture

What no, "people of color?"  It seems that green is the hardest color to blend with PC.   Go figure.  Oh wait... they already did.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:28 | 4304687 Zelotai
Zelotai's picture

Four women and they are all very ugly (not). Where are the ugly talented women? Did they get the job because they are so "talented" or because they look good?

Are there really no ugly and talented women out there?


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:38 | 4304736 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Be serious, they got ahead because they give head. Period.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:54 | 4304794 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Then I would expect more fat girls in finance. Fat girls have stronger mouth muscles because they eat so much.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:52 | 4305043 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

They ARE fat.  Especially the blondes.  Take off the beer goggles dude.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:06 | 4304841 Blano
Blano's picture

I thought the Goldman kid was cute.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:09 | 4304866 aerojet
aerojet's picture

They're all in the hard sciences where people work in rooms without windows.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:06 | 4305076 DebtSlaveZombie
DebtSlaveZombie's picture

I was gonna say these pictures of the women are completely unrecognizable to people around the office.  Maybe a picture of their ass or the back of their head would be more appropriate.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:26 | 4304689 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

Show me the list of "30 under 30" in finance circa 1999 and let's see where those folks are today.

Me thinks history will repeat when it comes to this group as well.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:46 | 4305032 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:53 | 4305048 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture


Weight Watchers? 

May never graduate to Cross Fit.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:30 | 4304694 10mm
10mm's picture

Young, easy targets.10 year later pics should be intresting. If there still around.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:31 | 4304696 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

This list of unqualified and most likely incompetent list of under 30 "brown nosers" should be reading the following.

If ever there was a ZH piece that should be put at the top.  This is one of them.

This teacher sure as hell does ROCK!

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:36 | 4304721 Spungo
Spungo's picture

50 is the new 30 and 12 is the new 18 IF YOU GET WHAT I AM SAYING.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:38 | 4304732 Budd aka Sidewinder
Budd aka Sidewinder's picture

God I'd love to introduce these fuckers to Pinhead and his gang


The Goldman guy is way...way!

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:46 | 4304754 Laughing Stock
Laughing Stock's picture


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:45 | 4304752 Laughing Stock
Laughing Stock's picture

Ha!...stoopid Harvard gash


Warren Buffett’s protégé will need some weatherproofing to survive this storm.

Tracy Britt — a 29-year-old exec who is chairman of the billionaire’s Benjamin Moore brand — was forced to fire the paint company’s CEO last month amid allegations that he had harassed female employees, The Post has learned.

To make the situation even stickier, insiders said the ousted CEO, Bob Merritt, a 61-year-old veteran of the restaurant industry, is the husband of Britt’s close friend Jill Dilosa, a 36-year-old Wall Street investor.

“Things have gotten way too cozy at the top for Warren and his cronies, and now it’s biting them on the bottom,” said one source close to the situation.

Indeed, Dilosa — an investing prodigy who was featured on the TV reality series “Wall Street Warriors” in 2006 — attended Britt’s wedding last month in Omaha, Neb., according to sources.


Tue, 01/07/2014 - 01:48 | 4307057 trader1
trader1's picture

dirty old men going after the young tail.  

what else is new?


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:47 | 4304757 dojufitz
dojufitz's picture

Born in Mumbai and at 24, part scientist, part mathematician, runs a $6 billion company by specializing in high-yield mobile over crowd private equity estimates for financial earnings on low-beta sovereign debt trade releases. Achieving high-alpha independent cryptocurrency buy-side allocation with precision sourcing revenue generators from independent external credit assets.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:13 | 4304872 aerojet
aerojet's picture

What could possibly go wrong?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:32 | 4304987 Blano
Blano's picture

Ingles, por favor.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 13:45 | 4304758 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Everyone gets a fancy title these days. Stock brokers used to be called sales/broker  associates, and now they are 'Asst. V.P. of Emerging Growth Dept.' or some horseshit name to make the greenhorn look seasoned on paper.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:08 | 4304847 Blano
Blano's picture

I normally don't ask questions like this, but who do you have to blow and how often to be a Squid Managing Director at 29?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:05 | 4304849 aerojet
aerojet's picture

It's funny how you have to be cheerleader attractive if you are a woman and if you are a man, it requires GQ looks.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:34 | 4304980 Blano
Blano's picture

Better than the other way around.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:07 | 4305081 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

Hey.  Um.  

These ladies would not have survived at the firm I worked at based on looks alone unless they were very big on top.  But those who were sluts got a bad reputation really fast.  

I've worked with women who had a 98 on their Series 7, Engineering degrees with MBAs, Level 3 CFA, trilingual... and they were not always "ugly" unless they were workign 16 hour days.
I'm glad that the taxpayers were robbed to put the white trash caste system in charge of America's portfolio.  

IF I were an investor, I would run in the other direction as fast as I could.   

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:08 | 4305087 DebtSlaveZombie
DebtSlaveZombie's picture

Vanity.... Definately my favorite sin....

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:10 | 4304858 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

o.k., well, i just don't understand this life anymore.   maybe i'm just too old to understand.   when i was 29 i knew nothing.   NO ONE KNOWS MUCH @ 29 years old!   How can anyone be an "influential figure" ?   we used to have to go to work if we wanted money, work, earn it, save it, keep working more, work harder, more hours, accumulate more money.   Nowadays, it's like, POOF!, age 30 years old & you miraculously are worth millions or billions of dollars & you never worked a day in your life !  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:13 | 4304878 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Blow jobs, how do they work?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:13 | 4304880 Budd aka Sidewinder
Budd aka Sidewinder's picture

Exactly!!! If you can manipulate an Excel spreadsheet you can run a company now.  Can you imagine her out in the field trying to relate to a middle aged grizzled old paint buyer for a home center chain????

Tue, 01/07/2014 - 01:51 | 4307064 trader1
trader1's picture

tell that to the ~29 year old jesus when he made his first discovery that he would become the messiah.  

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:08 | 4304864 Budd aka Sidewinder
Budd aka Sidewinder's picture

Chairman of Benjamin Moore at 29?????

"Yeah, Buddy will make a great President of Blustar Airlines.  After all, he did work as a baggage handler for two summers!"

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 16:07 | 4304908 ILikeBoats
ILikeBoats's picture

Coinbase is funny... there have been some uh, interesting, shenanigans around the way you go from sending them USD and getting BTC in return.  They don't seem to have a double-entry accounting system in place.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:25 | 4304936 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

These thirty are just about as notable as the last thirty Lotto winners.


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:31 | 4304967 The Heart
The Heart's picture




Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:35 | 4305000 AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

Zerohedge's 5 under 5 comment is dead on perfect. My bet is that 90% of this group can't even outperform the s&p 500 when adjusted for volatility. 

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:57 | 4305058 DebtSlaveZombie
DebtSlaveZombie's picture

Yeah yeah... put the girls on the top so that you dont get in trouble for showing them "below" their male counterparts in the industry.  Even though they are on this list I bet all of them still have tried to use the diesel nozzle at the gas station within the past week and still use the word "thingy" to describe objects or equipment they are unfamiliar with.  Better yet, they don't fool with that stuff, they just call their dad and let him handle it.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 14:59 | 4305065 Frank N. Beans
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Forbes forgot the Tyler(s).

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:18 | 4305120 combatsnoopy
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The title should read: "Supersized walking disease from Tri-delt narcissist who can't even name another country has no Series 7 or 63, CFA- she is in charge of Emerging Markets at bailed out American firm". 

I dont' think she passed her own Econ 101 for dummies exam at whatever prestigious school she may have graduated from.  I am so unimpressed that I don't even want to know what they majored in.  IN the Yay Area, VPs and assistants at Morgan stanley had Arts degrees.   Seriously.  

But hey, she's got great hair ! 

I told people I was against TARP for a reason.  This is just the tip of the iceburg.   Maybe I should be networking at Cheesy poof salon or the plus size happy hour to get a gig on Wall Street.  


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 16:04 | 4305279 Uncle Remus
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Uhhh huh huh. He said "emerging markets".

Emerge! Emerge! Huh huh.

I need some teepee.


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:25 | 4305133 combatsnoopy
combatsnoopy's picture

God I'm embarrassed for this country.  Come here, get robbed by the US government so Ms. McCheesyPoof Sans Fat Ass with no concept of intermediate macroecon can get a bailout and bonus check.  
Was the East Coast always this lame?  
 So Gross! 

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:42 | 4305184 Uncle Remus
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"an influential figure"


"I got a number for you and it ain't in hex."

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 15:54 | 4305237 RaceToTheBottom
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Working their way up the financial corporate ladder on their backs is so passe.

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 16:18 | 4305327 MarcusAurelius
MarcusAurelius's picture

Hmmm...the under thirty crowd? I suspect that I am just envious of thier abilities at such a young age. I wonder if they know how to play? Or if they ever did? 

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 16:48 | 4305412 highwaytoserfdom
highwaytoserfdom's picture

let's  crank the  top 5 not particularly the people but the welfare companies they work for

1 Berkshire  lets see where do we start  Solomon bonds, how about 560 m credits for railroads to ship coal to China, perhaps the 50B on Goldman TARP stock manipulation on top of the AIG settlement.  Ironic since AIG and General RE relationship. CNBS worships this guy like  well you  have the zero interest rate FED having BRK performing just above S&P.  Best stock last 3 months Media general.   12 CBS stations, 9 NBC, 7 ABC, and one each for FOX, CW and MNT.   I live in an NBC station area and ABC in area is in Bankruptcy.  Media general 200m in adjusted net income 134 from stock.. so takes deprecation and grabs cash....   enough said about this it is like the newspaper investment to keep the CNBS church going.    So much for glass ceilings..

2 Goldman   well  ZH guys can't argue with vampire squid (see Berk) and god's work.. Check out Greece and see what Iceland did to bankers, Check out Weekly Swaps Report - CFTC .Goldman's European retail and consumer equity research..   WTF is Forbes thinking short of Goebbels propaganda..

3 Blackstone  well 41,000 foreclosed homes from Fannie and Freddie housing bubble II... well covered in ZH

4 JPM   WTF more fines than NYC parking meter maids

5 Wells Fargo   see 1 Warrens Bank. More private money laundering Tide detergent to clean up.  .

Here is these kids in 1999


Mon, 01/06/2014 - 16:54 | 4305437 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Ambitious crowd but I imagine none of them have ever seen a down market. Who would have confidence in a 20 something to manage millions of dollars?

Mon, 01/06/2014 - 19:00 | 4305791 BlueCheeseBandit
BlueCheeseBandit's picture

Looks like old Buffet likes to play a game of grab-ass now and then.

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