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Monday Humor: The Samsung "Curve" Screen Leaves Michael Bay Speechless
As Samsung unveiled its new curved screen, presumably so that one can watch it around corners, Director-extraordinaire Michael Bay shows why he is better off behind the camera than in front of it... Behold, 2014's most embarrassing moment so far...
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Give him a break, it's very hard to sell unnecessary and stupid shit........
A lot of investors worldwide will be left speechless when markets will crash. Many will flip-out even worse than this poor soul....
Kanye West-inspired currency "Coinye West" to launch soon
http://t.co/H6vRB73wih
BTC is toast.
I'm seriously going to buy some of those.
Haha... I actually am serious too. Fuck me, I've officially gone crazy.
Thus proving that Michael Bay is, in fact, a talentless douchebag.
I am Chumbawamba.
Take two....and....action!
Wake up will you suzie.
My guess is he was sick to his stomach. It's the only reason I could think he would turn around like that.
If you're about to hurl in front of 10,000 people, it's probably a better idea to apologize and leave the stage. The alternative would be an even more epic fail.
Or, more likely, he's a talentless fag and can't speak without a functional teleprompter.
I am Chumbawamba.
Straight from Wiki - "He is co-founder of commercial production house The Institute, a.k.a. The Institute for the Development of Enhanced Perceptual Awareness."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Bay
I guess his "Enhanced Perceptual Awareness." needed some enhancing.
The tape ended before the gunshot?
Exactly
And like the bombastic tripe he regularly deploys...
He done blowed up real good!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHkvD7-u7y8
Michael who? Is this the director from Bay Watch?
Or, more likely, he's a talentless fag and can't speak without a functional teleprompter.
I am Chumbawamba.
So is he due to run in 2016?
Watching that speech is like watching Bernanke, Greenspan or Mr. Yellen try to say something intelligent.
Yes, but he is one of the special tribe members.
He probably had some bad pasta at a Rio buffet and needed to bolt to the toilet.
He probably had some bad Gefilte fish at Zions buffet and needed to bolt to the toilet.
Fixed it for you.
Perhaps his talents lie elsewhere.
I expected Billybob Clinton to step in on his behalf. Maybe he only Bails Barry out...hey that could catch on. Bailout Barry.
Well, not only...
He should never have gone with the curved TelePrompTer. Those things still have bugs.
I will never, ever buy anything(at least not on purpose) that will put money in that dumbfucks pocket. I wish him and his wife would drive off a cliff already so the fucking MSM would stop with the worthless stories on them 24/7.
How hard would it be to at least string together a sentence or two and say how the TV would help viewers experience his shitty movies better. What a total fu**ing retard.
F Hollywood and F TV.
Anyone who still permits themselves to be indoctrinated by Hollywood or commercial TV is a clueless sheep
Yes, the assholes at the federal reserve have put the death nails in the US dollar coffin. Are Cryptocurrencies an unintended consequence, lots of people are going to get hurt trying to protect themselves by jumping into dollar alternatives as precious metals continue to be manipulated. Now this stupid bitch Yellen is really going to sink us.
A lot of investors worldwide will be left speechless
can you imagine how many will be left speechless forever when the ghetto bangers realize the "moneez card" doesn't work?
"click, click, BOOM"
But it's curved man! It's got electrolytes and I must have it.
UP vote for the Brawndo reference!
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!!
Welcome to Costco, I luv you. And of course Butt Fuckers.
"Do sumthin' smart!"
His movie ticket sales would seem to contradict your statement.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
At least that was less time consuming than having to watch the Titanic...
wrong director
Cameron would have had no problem doing this presentation
Hilarious as it is, Samsung achieved the marketing. This video has been viewed 100k+
From the man who single handed lowered the collective IQ of America by at least 10 points this is not surprising.
Better behind the camera??
Have you actually sat through 10 minutes of this assclown's garbage?
FUCKING HACK
Now just imagine Yellen doing that at his first Q&A while the 10yr ticks 4% behind him.
Great image, but isn't BenYellen an IT?
Let's take a vote.
pretty sure 'it' is a romulan
Clingon
Dingleberry.
FERENGI
It's Pat.
I thought the PC term was "Shim"
Transformers movie series that he is famous for is about the worst series of movies ever made. Those movies should have made him impervious to embarrassment. So even that minuscule benefit did not accrue to those movies.
I prefered the cartoon series from the 1980's and if he had stuck to that more I'd of enjoyed the first movie far more. The others, well I never watched.
Looks like he's just thinking about what he's gonna do with his next purchase of metal rather than some bendy t.v.
this fucker of Michael Bay hasn't done a single good movie on his life and he thinks he is good behind the camera? Ed Wood was a genius next to him
Ed Wood stormed the beaches Tarawa, lost two teeth, then got his leg shot up. All with womens underwear on. Nuff said.
Womyn's underwear from that era had lots of hardware!
Pearls before swine SK.
We'll have you back.
Regards.
Teleprompter in chief would have fared no better.
a tax audit comming your way...
Piece of shit teleprompter!
Reminds me of the old Oreilley video: Fuck it, we'll do it live!
Teleprompters expose the ass in everyone then? Without them they have nothing to say.
Which way is it curved, and why?
Maybe it's just warped for the Lame Stream Media.
(Gimme a left, a left, a left, left, left.)
TOTUS marching drill.
Laffer curved.
YOU NEED VODKA TO SEE IT!
Vodka?... How much? Is there a 10 drink minimum?
It is curved so the Watchers (NSA) can have a wide angle view into your home. If I am not mistaken it was Samsung that revealed not too long ago that they had the ability to build in a remote viewing spy function for their TV's. Probably not the answer you were looking for........
How To Use Smart Interaction: Voice Control (2012 Models UNxxE / PNxxE)
Samsung is also putting microphones in their televisions and in their remote controls.
Here is a link to the pertinent information. Be advised that the "flaw" may be patched as far as hackers are concerned, however the Backdoor Man (if you know what I mean) still has easy and unlimited access......
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&v...
Haha this guy probably went back stage and jacked off while crying.
Unfortunitely his shit movies make enough money for him to be jacked off, sucked off, and whatevered off by the finest blue chip prostitutes out there.
Wait - they have Smurf escorts in Hollyweird?
I totally KNEW Smurfette was a hooker.
and here she is!!!!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcfwdefVmw1qasxjlo1_500.gif
what a maroon
His teleprompter failed and he had no material about the newfangled TV. Seems like if things don't go his way he folds quickly. Who cares? His movies give me headaches.
GIVE THE MAN A BREAK!!
HE HAD OVER 15 LINES OF TEXT AND ONLY ONE YEAR TO PRACTICE!
never the less he'll fire all the marketeers for sure...
So this person who lives in a virtual world cannot handle the reality of a ditzy telemprompter. Did Samsung engineer that device too? Maybe he can run for POTUS someday? He's already over qualified.
Also, I would like Michael Bay's address please. I have a Samsung Stratosphere -- or as its better know -- a massice piece of crap. I light a candle every morning and pray that it will last until April when I can get another brand of smartphone.
BanksterSlayer: Your comment is exactly what I first thought. This guy who deals in fantasy can't handle anything real. His brain took a shit that his asshole couldn't cash when he had to perform in front of actual live humans!
Or maybe he's just "sensitive"...
THATS WHY HE MAKES THE BIG BUCKS!!!
WHERE'S MY BONUS BITCHEZ!!!!
SPECIAL SKILLS!!! SPEECH!!!
Who the fuck would go to see a presentation about a TV?
it's vegas... they where probably promised a gambling credit of 5 bucks.
did you hear also that nobody was laughing? If Iwas was there, you'd hear me in the crowd :)
that piece a shit asshole loser :)
Give the guy a break. How many times have you been asked to give a presentation before a large audience? It is quite humbling, I assure you.
I hated this douchebag WAAAYYYY before this presentation
I don't know who this guy is but he was obviously very nervous. Tele-promter failure or not, he should have known how to handle it, even if boring the crowd to death with a stupid lecture. He froze. It's common in theater and it can ruin a carreer.
I'm a marketing manager, I love to give presentations! They have to pull me from stage to shut me up.
Just name a topic and I can rant for hours :)
Your Boss's sexual affairs..... off 'ya go. Hours 'ya say?
Regards.
Oh, Oh, I know this one.
The consumer electronics convention conveniently coincides with the Adult Movie Awards and all that''s new in porn week, The new meaning of ATM.
IN VEGAS BAYBEE.
What would Victoria Paris look like on a curved screen?
They are either paid or they take a "Curved TV" when they go back home
WHEREZ MY BITCHEZ BONUS!!!!
SPESHUL SKILZ!!!!
And he ruined Shia LaBeouf's career, too!
HAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
Fucking POTD.
And he ruined Shia LaBeouf's career, too!
Good!
Long teleprompters. How unintelligent is this person who supposedly made these movies? Is he just another sock puppet? Can't even talk about his own accomplishments? Maybe because he didn't accomplish anything and he knows it.
He looks like a fraud if you dare to look closely. Much like the entire gang occupying Hollywood and producing propaganda for the masses.
Care to discuss the moon "landing" now? Fabricated just like this fraud.
Agree. (well, except for the moon landing being faked implication)
For cripes sake, He could not ad-lib for 60 seconds about himself, his accomplishments or anything for that matter.
This is a disturbed, highstrung hollywood type, He is used to shooting a scene 30 times till it is just right and could not cope with the idea that he would be perceved as anything less than perfect.
For all his grand success as a film maker...
Could be a whole range of psych disorders, from mild to severe on the autism spectrum. If that was know however and I can't imagine it wouldn't be known, then he would not be asked to speak publicly unless with a staffer, a side kick etc. Maybe if it wasn't known, it sure is now. How he could hide it on sets is incomprehensible.
Moon "landing" is a fake imho. Evidence and footage look shitty under the microscope. Good enough to woe the 1960s TV crowd but with better resolution and a better understanding of US political machinations, it made sense to fake it then and come out ahead. It was a milestone achievement for the US in the cold war science and arms race. Why didn't the Soviets repudiate the claims? Because nobody would have believed them. It would have been their word against ours Instead it bought them leverage which they have exercised since then in other ways. Don't forget that in order to fund wars, the Rothschilds need to convince two parties that war is good for business. What better way for these two parties that are officially mirred in a cold war themselves to be fighting proxy wars instead.
Rothschilds called their loans due to the Soviets in 1989. Collateral for the loans were Russia's vast oil and gas reserves which became more lucrative when China was on the horizon and needed more oil and the desert became less productive.
There is nothing left to coincidence in this world. The moneychangers have their script and following it to the last letter. They own each and everyone of us and every nation under the sun.
My guess is the dude had the runs and had to hit a bathroom quick, or be forever embarrassed in front of thousands.
Weirdo
HE FORGOT THE MAIN USP!!!
IT COMES WITH A REMOTE!!! AND IT HAS OVER 50 BUTTONS OF WHICH YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHERE THEY'RE FOR!!
If you watch very carefully, you can see the precise moment his heart breaks...
Does he expect the actors to memorize their lines for his films or does he use teleprompters on his movie shoots?
Maybe he shit his pants.
Instead of his audience's collective eyes.
Anyone ever see Obama off the TelePrompter. Umm uhh uhh. Umm uhh uhh. Umm uhh uhh. This guy held it together for at least 7 seconds. Not bad.
**Barack and Dave special** BBC Sucks O Cocks News
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liZmC5GUkKY&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DliZmC5GUkKY
That wasn't a telepromtper malfunction. He just freaked out. I could hear his voice quivering. People fear public speaking over death.
"I forgot how to finish telling you all how incredible I am when that prompter threw me a CURVE. You know, like oBUMMER during his debate."
Kicking off the year with an example of just how badly "no plan B" works.
This is a phone designed for Filipinas wearing tight jeans.
Banzai: I "dress to the left" in tailor-speak. Do you think they'll come out with a curve to accomodate my package?
Who's Michael Bay? Seriously, who da fuck iz he?.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsPrQgTO0HU
Precious, fucking precious.
Bay comes out of the closet here as a girly man - a total fucking loser. He couldn't even talk about what he does for a living.
I've done technical presentations at conferences, standup routines, and spoken word performance. I've had some ringing successes
with lots of applause and post-event praise, and on a few occasions I've flopped badly. On one memorable occasion I temporarily
went blank on stage (during a play) when someone fed me the wrong line. So I know something about this.
The number #2 rule for success is know your audience. The #1 rule is do the fucking hard work - prepare and practice, so it looks
easy and you can handle the unexpected.
Bay couldn't be bothered to be professional about it and do the work. He so richly deserves this epic fail.
I'm not a good public speaker either, mostly bull shitting politicians and lawyers are, you know the sociopath class.
So give the guy a break.
Funny, he's not speechless when a camera tech accidental erased 2 hours worth of footage from an SSD.
Carried off on his shield... he didn't have the obese, corrupt stench-swine Cathy Crawl-y to save his ass..
'I'm sorry,' his last words before wandering off, letting down his sponsors and his audience. Schmuck.
He was caught in a truth trap, and couldn't handle it. By his own admission:
'The type is off...wing it...Hollywood...take people on an emotional ride...'.
So, he can't deal with reality, and only exists to create illusion. That's a huckster, con artist, bamboozler. The epitome of the glamorous face at the heart of Western decline. A well paid propagandist, smug bastid, he is.
PS Cheers, Tylers. It was funny to see him hoisted by his own petard. May many more of them get exposed to public ridicule.
I have a tube tv and an off air antenna only. Not kidding. TV is shit.
Obviously this over paid shmuck did not practice and depended on low wage employees to have everything set up so he could just waltz in and act like he knows it all. Good time for a trading places exercise imho.
Monday Humor. Gotta post this oldie, but goodie...
How Hot Is It In Hell - A True Story
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so . . .
Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
Anonymous
Note: I heard this story many years ago. No idea if it's true, but it sure the fuck is funny... and makes you think!
Link: http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/How_Hot_Is_It_In_Hell_-_A_True_Story.html
She is a he. Kobayashi Maru.
Nice
Didn't Al Gore invent that?!?
Maybe he was lacking EXPERIECE with the Samsung teleprompter and feared what may rain down on him.
This blog doesn't give anywhere near the whole story as much as does the main stream media and twitter.
Just like Obozo.
It is hard to ad lib when your brain is busy calculating how many dollars people will be spending in bandwidth charges to watch your movies
Yikers. Hey, I like some of his stuff, but one must fear he has already snuffled up the majority of his earnings. So much for his big Samsung endorsement payday.
Clearly the man has to take a massive shit and couldn't hold it in anymore.
I really like your answer! LOL
Thinking outside of the box!!!
I'll go one better. He probably sharded into his pants and said to himself "I gotta get off this stage before it gets past my clenched buttocks and underwear and starts running down my leg"
Good Monday for op/ed. Kunstler, Schiff, et al. Good stuff.
No doubt he will take this moment of humiliation out on the cast and crew of his next film. That's how he rolls. Scumbag extraordinaire.
I can only hope somebody taped the crying hissy fit he probably threw backstage.
lol...This is one of the most funny akward moments ever.
Not quite a 'Fuck it, we'll do it live' moment but interesting none the less.
Wow, what the hell is wrong with this guy? He can't tell people, "I make movies. They're pretty cool. I like lots of explosions and action and I know all you do, too, because I make tons of money doing it. Watch my movies on the new curved screen for even bigger, better explosions and action. I love America-Ra!Ra!Ra!"
.